


Something Like Olivia

by 994527



Category: MotoGP RPF, Motorcycling RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 22:22:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 120
Words: 230,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2245476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/994527/pseuds/994527
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex, in a lift in Barcelona, heading up.</p><p>Olivia, in a lift in Barcelona, heading up.</p><p>Alex and Olivia, in a lift in Barcelona, stuck.</p><p><i>I'm thinking Something Like Olivia is what I need to find.</i> - John Mayer song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Deer In The Headlights

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so yes I went for first person again...I like it. No, she isn't me ♥ And yes, this is probably the first of a few AM fics. (or the second if you count AM12 holidays ;))!
> 
> Thank you for reading anything I write, and I hope you enjoy this...as always, feedback is king and massively appreciated! ♥
> 
> P'adelante...!

_Fuck._

I didn’t like lifts at the best of times, _ironically_ , I thought to myself, because _I’m scared of THIS happening._ It had stopped. After a few floors, it had stopped. And it was stuck.

_Just stay calm, and everything will be fine._

I tried to take a few breaths to make sure my brain was actually working before I noticed the same panicked, trying-to-stay-calm face looking back at me from across the small space, jolting me back to the other half of reality.

 _Oh yeah._ I almost lost the train of thought as it shuddered again, creaking slightly down. _And Alex Marquez is here._

*

Normal day in Barcelona, nothing so special about it. A normal day at work, or rather, at home, writing up my trip to Japan. After the sixth sentence wallowing in the beauty of cherry blossoms, I’d decided to go out for lunch, to find my oldest and best friend in the world. In her office. Using a lift. A lift that had kidnapped me and the younger brother of the 2013 MotoGP World Champion, for reasons unknown.

The first 3 minutes were intensely awkward. I soon realised that both of us were equally shitting ourselves but that neither wanted to be the one to admit that, but at first we did a good job of pretending we were kind of ok with it, at least for a couple of minutes. And then finally we both sat on the floor at the same time, after I’d replied hopefully calmly to the intercom man telling us to _stay calm and stay still_ , the _stay still_ bit of which had made neither of us any more relaxed, and we stared at each other for a few minutes before a word from him woke me back up from the panic.

“So…”

I smiled at that, something about the simplicity breaking the ice spectacularly well, and laughed. _Good start._ “So.”

He frowned at me, sort of affectionately puzzled, and tilted his head like he was trying to listen to something. “What?”

“Nothing.” _Just you. Being the wonderful cliché I wanted you to be._ “Just…you start the conversation about this with the word ‘so’…” _Unflappable and calm._

“Ah.” He went slightly red and made a little ‘eek’ face, nodding and shrugging. “Yeah…well…I didn’t think it would help if I started to cry…”

Another laugh. “No that wouldn’t help.”

“You don’t like it.”

“No.” I took a deep breath and shook my head. “I don’t like lifts. Because I’m always scared this will happen.”

“Ah.” He seemed to relax, leaning the back of his head against the back wall and sighing, leaving his neck looking ridiculously perfect and inviting. “Me too.”

 _He’s 18 years old._ I gulped and nodded, shrugging. “Well then we can both cry and no one will ever have to know.”

“Hmm.” He nodded and then I watched the _tiniest_ hint of something not entirely innocent cross his face. “Alone.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Oh, thanks.” He smiled at my ‘oops’ face and laughed slightly to himself. “I meant…well…” Another fluster of _something_. “I just meant it’s pretty intense. Already.”

 _Intense?! You’re a Moto3 rider._ “The way you say already makes it sound like you think we’re going to be in here for weeks.”

“Don’t joke about it.” Big, round eyes caught mine and then blinked, trying to defuse both of our nerves. “I mean…sorry. Sorry. I don’t like it…I’m trying to pretend it’s fine.”

“Me too.”

“Ok then. I’m Alex, by the way.” He held out his hand, still leaning either lazily or nervously with his back against the wall, and I shook it as I replied. 

“Olivia.” _And we really have to get out of here._ My hand felt like it had been set on fire and licked by a Labrador puppy in quick succession. _Because you’re just…_ I let my eyes wander slightly, trying to not be noticed and that made easier as he closed his eyes and sighed, and felt myself biting my lip. _18 years old. 18 years old. 18. 18._ “And I know.”

His eyes shot open and locked back onto mine. “What?!”

 _Maybe I shouldn’t have told you. Maybe you’ll clam up, now._ “I mean…” _Yeah, maybe in week 3 I would tell you that I know who you are. By the time they’re sending food parcels and you’ve realised I’m not going to rip you off._ “I know how you feel. I’m trying to pretend it’s fine, too.”

The gut reaction to thinking I knew who he was disappeared again, and we sat through another few minutes of silence, now slightly more comfortable, before the speaker crackled again and I got up to talk to the guy.

_“Ok we’ve called the engineers. They should be here soon.”_

“Ok, thank you. When is soon?”

There was a pause that I interpreted much more accurately than Alex, turning to look at him with a face of defeat and horror before the answer backed me up.

_“Closest they can say is before 9pm.”_

I heard the sharp intake of panic from behind me and hung my head, sharing the sentiment. _Exactly._ “Ok. Thank you. One thing…is there a camera watching us?” Another noise of something echoed from the Moto3 rider, possibly an intrigued but positive _hmm?_ , and I felt the same appear in my brain. _Hmm?_

_“No cameras in our lifts.”_

“Ok. I mean…thanks. Again.”

It went dead and I turned to look at him, face a strange but interesting mixture of horror, puzzlement and weariness, but with a very tiny amount of cheekiness thrown in for good measure. 

“I asked because it’d be weird. Right?”

“Hmm.”

“I mean…just being watched, for hours..”

“Yeah. Absolutely.” He managed to control the horror for long enough to manage a grin, eyes boring into mine. “I believe you…”

I almost turned and started yelling and banging on the door right then, despite knowing our door and their outside door were not in line and harnesses and climbing would be needed, reading the first hint of what was going to probably cause my downfall. _He’s not too unhappy I’m here._ I’d escape the lift, probably. But one of us might not if he kept doing _that_. In all his angelic, wicked perfection. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“How old are you?” _That’s going to make it more awkward if we ever get to the point where he realises I can remember AM12 versus Sandro Cortese at Montmeló 2012 and already know the answer enough to have tweeted him happy birthday. Also what the fuck am I asking that for._

“What do you think?”

“18.” _Sixth I think, in the end. Wildcard. Got the EG ride after Rins._

“Grr.” He smiled and then nodded, shrugging as if apologising. “Yeah…that obvious?”

 _Well I know you’re just allowed to drive, because Marc tweeted it._ “Nah, just the way you made me guess…”

He first went red, then bright red, and then narrowed his eyes at me and raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want to know how old I am?”

 _Oops._ My turn to go red. “No reason.”

“Right.” He smiled and then shrugged, still blushing, as I tried to fluster my way out of it. “How old are you? If that’s important to know, stuck in a lift…”

“26.” _Yes, thank you. I panicked and chose a shit question._

“Oh.” He took that in, considered it, and then threw it straight back at me. “I guessed 26. And I was kind of fine with that.” Still blushing, but not stopping. “So…”

 _So again._ “So…”

“So I’m 18. But that doesn’t make much difference. We’re both equally terrified.”

 _It makes all the difference._ “Hmm.”

“Hmm?”

I could almost feel the lips humming that over my neck, imagination incredibly vivid. “Hmm.” _Stop it. Put a paper bag over your head or something._ “So…Alex. Looks like we’re going to be here for a while.” I sat back down, only realising once I had that I was an _awful_ lot closer to him than before, and then turned to look at him. “So what do you want to talk about?”

“Anything.” His head lolled lazily to the side to meet my gaze. “Something interesting. We could do shoe size next, if you want.”

“Fuck off.” The words had already left my mouth, crossed the space between us and slapped him in the face by the time I realised that he was an 18 year old stranger and that wasn’t appropriate. I went red and bit my lip nervously as his eyes widened in shock and amusement. “Sorry. I didn’t mean-“

“It’s ok.” He grinned and then started to giggle, a bit at first and then a complete attack, adorably annoying and unstoppable. “Sorry. Sorry.”

“No, _I’m_ sorry. Promise I’m not usually this rude.”

“Just when you can’t get away from the person you’re being rude to for hours?”

“Yeah. I have a lot of common sense.”

He laughed again at that, shrugging and nodding. “Fair enough. But…I don’t really mind. What do you like? Where are you from? Why do you want to know how old I am?”

“I want to know how old you are because…” My brain faded into a kind of Ally McBeal cut scene in which his tongue and my tongue got to know each other. “Because…you looked like a deer in the headlights.”

“Ah.” He went quiet for a few minutes, neither of us moving or talking, then looked back at me in that same relaxed, lazy way. “So…Olivia. Why are you in this lift?”

 _A much more sensible question than mine. Maybe he’s right, and the ages are the wrong way round._ “I was going to meet a friend for lunch. Who I’d probably better tell that we’re stuck, actually.” I pulled out my phone and texted, him seemingly reminded the same thing and getting out his. _Are you telling Marc? Are you just casually texting the World Champion ‘hey bro, I’m stuck in a lift’ and to you that’s normal?_ I got my reply and smiled at it, he got his and then rolled his eyes as the phone rang a second later. 

“Hello….yes….no….yeah I’m fine….no….no idea….today….yeah, today! Before 9 they said….no…ok…no I was on the way in…yeah can you? Thanks….”

I listened, wondering who it was on the other end of the phone, and then bit down on the flash of _ARGGHH THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING_ as I heard the sign off.

“Ok, bro. See you later. Bye.”

 _The second best eyes in the world talking to the best._ I tried to push that image away and cleared my throat as he looked back at me. “Ok, my brother is very very irritated by this.” _Although I’m talking to the best, too._

“You have a brother?” _Sorry I’m being a liar._

“Yeah. I do. Shorter than me, prettier than me, more annoying than me…” He grinned and then shrugged. “But anyway…so you were going for lunch. No work to get back to?”

 _Yes, no, maybe._ “No.” I shrugged and smiled at the look on his face. “I work for myself. I’m a travel writer. So the same pile of stuff will be waiting, whether I get back in an hour or in a week.”

“Hmm. That’s annoying.”

“Yup. How about you? What do you do?” _And are you going to tell me?_

He looked lost for a second, caught between honesty and wariness, before sighing and shrugging. “Not much at the moment. Summer break.”

 _Damn that’s true._ “Ah, ok. That’s nice.” _And that would be a no._

“It is. This isn’t quite what I had in mind, though…”

“Yeah me neither.” 

We smiled at each other and he shrugged. “But it’s ok. At least you seem like a good person to be stuck in a lift with.”

“Thank you. I think…?” I grinned and then nodded at him, glad he didn’t possess the power to read minds. “You too...” _Little Alex Marquez._


	2. El gatito sale del bag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is nonsense aka a literal (half) translation of 'the cat comes out the bag' ;)
> 
> THANK YOU for your first reactions ♥
> 
> #BambiForever
> 
> No offense to the name check at the end, anyone I mention is always mentioned at least slightly affectionately, even if sometimes rudely ;)

By hour 2, he’d told me most of what he could about his life without venturing into the fact that he was a Moto3 rider, or Marc Marquez’s brother. _Which for some, that second one would mean more, sadly._ And I’d done the same with him, except leaving out the part where I was criminally obsessed with MotoGP. We got on annoyingly well, and the flashes of red-face making imagery passing through my head had got a lot worse. A _lot_ worse. But he either didn’t care or didn’t notice, and everything was going well. Until he saw my phone.

Normally, I might have terrified him straight away, because I might even have been wearing _his_ merchandise. Or his brother’s, or Lorenzo’s, or Dani’s. Or just a Repsol hoodie. But today, for some reason, I hadn’t been dressed as my usual relaxed and comfortable self, and that meant he had no idea I might know who or what he was. Until he saw my phone.

It was a text from my friend I’d been going to meet, and it lit the screen up, lying half way between us, on the side of me nearest him, and I saw him see it and then look at me and then see me realise he’d seen it, face going from friendly to puzzled to seriously worried. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ “Yeah…” I made an ‘eeek’ face and tried to figure out the expression on his in more detail. 

“Dani Pedrosa.”

“Today, yeah. It’s Dani. Montmeló was pretty close.” _Could be worse. It could have been you._ “So I put one of my photos from the race on the lockscreen…”

_Is she explaining because she knows why I’m asking or because she just explains things?_ “Right. You like Dani?”

“Yeah.” _Do you think I’m explaining because I know or because I just am?_ “I like everyone. Dani, Jorge, Vale…” _Go on, dare you._ “…even that guy who keeps winning. What’s his name?”

He stared at me, still complete unsure as to whether I was being serious or not, and narrowed his eyes slightly. “Marquez?”

“That’s it.” _Maybe my gender stereotype is working positively here. Apparently girls who have Dani Pedrosa on their phone could still not know what your brother is called?_ “Marc Marquez. _Small fucking bastard._ ”

I watched his face carefully as I said it, smirking, wondering if he’d ever seen or heard of that Rossi interview, wondering if he’d see that as a signal without having to ask or if he’d see it as just an original and offensive phrase to describe his brother that I didn’t know was his brother. “Hmm.” Smirk.

“Hmm?” _Stop looking at me like that._ “What?”

“He does win a lot.”

“He does. Some would say too much. 9 in a row. Going for Doohan and Agostini…”

_She knows. Surely she knows?_ “So you like bikes.”

“Yes.” _You are unbelievably unreadable, boy._ “I do. I like racing. You?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, slowly and warily, and looked away again. “You should have mentioned that before…”

“Hmm, maybe. Because we’d have something else to talk about?” _Or because you wouldn’t have talked at all?_

“Yeah.” He nodded and kept looking at the wall, a fountain of zero information. “I like Dani, too.”

“Dani’s a great rider who’s had some terrible luck.”

“Exactly.” He nodded and smiled to himself before looking back at me, slightly less wary but still trying to figure it out. “People say he shouldn’t have been with Repsol for 9 years without a title, but I don’t understand that. Every time he’s been in a title fight, he’s-“

“…been injured. I know.” I smiled at him and shrugged. “As a Pedrosa fan, _I know._ But 2 more, now….”

“Yeah, 2 more. So this is another thing we have in common.” Not so wary, smile back. “Fans of Dani Pedrosa.”

“Yup.” I nodded and took my turn to look away from the tractor beam of his eyes. “Although, like I said…I like them all. Just amazing, what they do.”

“It is.” He nodded his agreement and leant back again, as he had at first. “But I really respect Dani for getting back up. And Marc.” The way he said Marc, so unflinchingly familiar, sent a shiver down my spine. “Marc did too.”

“Hmm. 2011.”

“Wow.” He grinned and smiled back at me. “You know your stuff…”

“I think I do.” I smiled back, wondering if we were past the point of having to say _yes I do, and I know you_. “Think you do?”

“I’d hope so.”

_Oh, really._ “Ok. I’ll test you, then. Who won Estoril 2008?”

“Lorenzo. First win.”

“Yup. Brno 2012?”

“Pedrosa. Last lap.”

“Who was on the podium in Motegi 2010?”

“Hmm…Stoner, Dovi…or Dani? Rossi? After the Yamaha battle...”

“Indeed. But Dovi. Dani was injured. Again.” I smiled and tried even cheekier. “Who started the 125cc race in neutral that day?”

“Ha. Marc!”

I smiled to myself again at the way he said it and grinned. _Surely you know, now._ “Who started 38th in Moto2 at Phillip Island 2011 and where did he finish?”

_So you know._ “Marc. 3rd.”

“And how much did Bradl cry about it?”

“Probably a lot.” He laughed before grinning and looking back at me, shockingly not freaked out, eyes sparkling at me and how I was seemingly a fan but also a person. “Now you. Why did he start 38th?”

“Crash with Wilairot.”

“Who started 33rd-“

“Marc Marquez, Catalunya Caixa Repsol Moto2 team. Valencia 2012. Wet.”

_Fuck. Ok then, try this._ “Who came sixth in Montmeló 2012 in Moto3?”

“Sixth...” I smiled to myself, more than impressed how he was still smiling at me, and pretended to think about it. “Hmm…this guy who rode in the CEV, I think. Riding with Monlau. Wildcard. No talent. Appalling race, coming sixth and battling Sandro Cortese. Can’t remember his name…won his first race in Motegi last year.”

He held out his hand again and smiled, wariness replaced by nerves, maybe a bit of relief at me knowing, and definitely some intense interest, shaking mine again as though introducing himself, this time for real, sending little electric shocks up and down my arm. 

“Alex. Marquez. Estrella Galicia 0,0 Moto3 team. Pleased to meet you.” A smile, even wider than before, eyebrow raised. “You liar!”

I went red at that, shrugging, and then turned back to look at the wall, biting my lip to stop grinning. _Oh we actually have a thing happening._ “Me? _Summer break_ is what you said.” _Me and Alex Marquez. Having a moment. In a lift._

“But that’s true!”

“Yeah, summer break from winning 2 races already! That I saw!”

“Well…yeah.” He grinned and nodded. “Yes I did. And you did?!”

“Yes! I went to Montmeló, like I said. And I went to Assen and took a trip to Amsterdam so I could pretend it was work related. Maybe I’m good luck…”

He looked at me like _whatever_ and motioned around the small space. “Yes, you are bringing me great luck.”

“Pff! Track luck. Fair?” He nodded, smiling and accepting, and I made my tone as business like as possible for the next bit, his face following my mood completely and falling. “So…now we’re on the same page, we need to have a serious discussion, Alex Marquez.”

The nervous grin was now replaced by pure nerves alone. _What?_ “What about?” _I mean, you know…and you seem normal…and nice…and you know…please don’t-_

I looked back and smiled, raising my hands slightly in an _oh, you know very well_ kind of gesture, smirk growing as his face got more and more nervous, and finally watched him relax into a laugh as I explained. 

“Jack. Fucking. Miller.”


	3. Leap of Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everything so far ♥ too lovely...!
> 
> I'm falling into this, fast. ;)

_OH MY GOD._

I put my hand into my pocket again to double check it was still there, pulling it out and scrolling through to double-double check. And it was.

_OH MY FUCKING GOD._

*

4 hours earlier

“So…Alex Marquez, Estrella Galicia Moto3 team…you’re still talking to me.”

“Yup. I am.”

“Even though you know I know who you are.”

“Yup.”

“Even though I might be about to sell everything you’ve said to the highest bidder?”

“Good luck with that.” He smiled and then looked at me. “Most of it has been you telling me about ‘Jack Fucking Miller’. What exactly would you sell?”

_Hmm. Good point._ “Well I know why you’re here…”

“A lot of people know why I’m here. And it's only a check up.”

“Well…I know lots of other things too.”

“Oh, really?” He gave me another cheeky smile, challenge stated, and raised his eyebrows. “Please do tell.”

“I know…” _Nothing of any interest to anyone._ “…that Marc gets irritated when his brother gets trapped in a lift....and other amazing stuff.”

“Wow.” He looked back at me with big, round eyes and then cracked into a grin. “That will SELL!”

“Pff. Ok. Fine. But you know what I mean…”

“I do. And even though you lied and cheated your way into this conversation, I don’t think you’d do that.”

“No?” _You’re completely right._

“No.” He looked back at me and gave me a sideways smile, questioning the statement, asking me to prove him right. “Just a feeling…”

_Just a feeling._ “Hmm. Well…” I cleared my throat and nodded at him. “You’re right.”

“I know.”

*

3 hours earlier

“So…Moto2?”

“Hopefully. It’s all happening behind the scenes at the moment, but looks like I might end up teammates with Tito.”

“That would be really helpful for people who own Marc VDS t shirts and whose favourite riders were Dani, Scott Redding and Alex Marquez.”

“Woooaahhhhh.” He grinned and raised his eyebrows at me. “The deception gets worse!”

“What? Redding? I know he’s-“ _a bit of a dick…_

“No! I’m one of your favourite riders?!”

“Ohh.” I made an ‘eek’ face and nodded, quite red but still definitely smiling as much as him. “Yup.”

“So you really knew exactly who I was the second you got in here?”

“Yup.”

“Wow. I’m impressed.” He nodded, face showing that very impressed-ness, and smiled again. “Usually they scream…”

_They._ “Hey! Firstly, we aren’t a they…fans are…well, ok no. I’m a _me_. And I don’t scream. You’re just people. Talented, amazing people, often very beautiful people, but still just people.”

“Sorry!” _Beautiful people. Does that include me?_ He held up his hands in a slight surrender and grimaced through a grin. “It’s hard to remember that when Marc is your brother.”

“I can imagine." _Sorry sorry sorry._ "Sorry if I was a bit harsh there…”

“No, it’s ok. Sorry I generalised.”

“Forgiven.”

“Thank you. Same.” Another moment that made my bite my lip as his head, still leaning lazily against the wall, turned back to me to make eye contact. _Grrrrrr GOD stop it._

“So…” He raised his eyebrows and held my gaze. “…you don’t _scream_ …?”

*

2 hours earlier

“Ok I’m bored now.”

“Even though I’m here?” His bottom lip jutted out and his eyes went as round and innocently beautiful as ever. “Hmm?”

“Yes.” I didn’t even think about it until a second after, and reached out and poked the lip back into place, gently. As though that was normal. As though it didn’t feel like poking an electric socket. _Oh God. I touched him._ I went bright red and ‘eeked’. “Sorry...”

“That’s ok.” He shrugged and a flash of _feel free to do it again_ went across his face. _That is, if I’m reading this right._ “I know I’m not that interesting…”

_Oh so you take the apology for what I said, but what I did was fine?_ I felt my heart start to ramp back up to the original rhythm it had been keeping during the first hour, like it was yelling _ALEX MARQUEZ_ in my chest, his cheeky face impossibly difficult to ignore. “You’re very interesting. I just don’t like being inside when I know it’s sunny. I don’t like sitting on a really uncomfortable floor in some of the only clothes I own that aren’t scruffy merchandise, and I don’t like how warm it is.”

“Good points. So…” He sat up for the first time in a while and pulled off his hoody, flash of bare skin burning my eyes beautifully, and then handed it to me. “Sit on that.”

“What?”

“Sit on that.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s scruffy merchandise, and now I’m not as hot and you’ll be more comfy.”

_Sensible as ever. But ARGH._ “Oh. Ok. Thank you. But it’s not very scruffy, believe me.” _And if anything, you're hotter._ I got to my feet, feeling his eyes following every move and praying to God I could at least manage a few seconds looking relatively elegant, and folded the hoody before putting it back down almost next to him, where I’d been before, and then freezing.

Because he moved it. Closer.

I stared down for a few seconds, wondering what the protocol was in this situation, breath and heart rate quicker than ever, before his eyes met mine and his eyebrows went up. “Problem?”

“N-No.” _Smooth._ “That’s er…” Cough. “Close.”

“Is it?” He looked down at it and then back at me, all innocence. “I didn’t notice.”

_Fuck you, you beautiful, beautiful creature._ I raised my eyebrow and then shrugged and sat back down, both our legs out in front of us, bent at the knee, his arms leaning on his knees, so, so close I could almost feel the blood in _his_ veins rushing as much as mine, two similar smiles fading across the lift. 

“Yeah Me neither.”

*

1 hour earlier

“I feel like we’re going to die here.”

I laughed and shrugged, feeling very similar. “Yeah. Maybe we will.”

“Although I’m pretty sure Marc’s probably ringing them every 10 minutes to get me out.”

“I can imagine.” _That sounded weird._ “I mean…I imagine…I don’t know. That seems to fit the image.” _Will that do? ___

“Image?”

_Maybe it will._ “Yeah. Fast and nice, but ultimately impatient as fuck.”

He laughed, movement making his arm brush mine, and nodded. “Pretty much. What about my image?”

“Yours?”

“Yeah. Mine.” He turned and looked at me again, causing another flurry of internal movement as I tried to emotionally tread water and not get drowned in his eyes. _Mission impossible. They are bottomless and tidal._ “What’s my image?”

“Hmm.” I wondered how much truth to tell before my brain yelled _just go swimming_ , and took a deep breath. “To me, you’re fast, and nice. More patient than your brother. Calmer. And you seem like…I don’t know.” I sighed and raised my eyebrows at him. “You really want to know?”

“Yeah.” Unflickering, unwavering eye contact. “I _really_ want to know.”

_Not that I’ve ever thought about it. Because that would be weird._ I gulped slightly and shrugged helplessly, aware that this could make the tide turn against me significantly. “Well you seem like there’s a lot going on behind the scenes. I don’t know why. Kind of like Jorge Lorenzo.”

He spluttered, grinning but wide eyed. “LORENZO?!”

“YEAH!” I whacked him slightly on the leg for the :O face and marvelled how that wasn’t weird anymore. “I’m not comparing who you are, if you have a problem with that. Just…in your eyes. Even on the TV…like there’s stuff going on in there you’re not letting on.”

_There’s stuff going on in there you’re not letting on. There is._ “Even on the TV?” _Especially now._

“Yeah.” We were now staring at each other, fatally close together, and I could almost imagine that maybe the lift had suddenly fallen into the Earth, because it couldn’t have been _me_ doing that alone. “Like…” _Like right now._ “…like in person.”

_Ok._ “Do you like it?” His eyes flicked from my eyes to my lips and back. “…?”

_Does that mean I’m right?_ Cough. “Y-yeah…I mean…you’re my favourite Moto3 rider for a reason.” _Please don’t kiss me._

“Because of my eyes?”

“No, because of what they say.” _Please kiss me._ I went bright red and cringed, finally able to break the eye contact and looking away, wondering why I had to say _THINGS LIKE THAT at a TIME LIKE THIS._ “I mean…yeah…” _Maybe I should just take my chances with a jump for freedom._ “Sorry, that was weird.”

“Maybe a bit weird.” He smiled and shrugged, eyes still focused on me, intensity apparently not a worry, and I froze as his index finger traced the seam on the side of my jeans, from upper thigh to knee, my skin responding to it like a blow torch. _Oh God. Oh God. Oh God._

“S-sorry.” Gulp. “Maybe I’m just weird.”

“Maybe.” He smiled and shrugged. “But interesting.”

I risked a look back and found myself swimming again. _Stop._ “Really? I mean…really.” _Never, ever stop._

“Yeah! It’s always interesting to see what people think. Especially people who aren’t just screaming.”

“Maybe internally, I’m screaming.” _For help or desperation, I’m not sure._

“Can’t be that bad.” He nudged me with his shoulder and smiled, eyebrows raised. “Or I’d hear it...?”

_You're going to cause my painful death._ I stared straight ahead, the reply that I would have said to anyone else in any bar in the city hovering on my tongue, heart hammering me and daring me to, and then looked back.

“Well. Maybe you will…”

*

20 minutes earlier

_“Hello, sorry to have kept you waiting so long.”_

We both jumped slightly at the sudden noise before I got to my feet and pressed the button to reply, looking at Alex attempting to say _like we’ve been waiting 20 minutes in a plush reception_ , smirk I got in return confirming he was thinking the same. “Ok. You have news?”

_“Yeah, they’ll be here in 15 minutes.”_

_15 minutes. And now that actually makes me really sad._ “Right, ok. Thanks.” I let go of ‘reply’ and slowly sat back on the floor, hoping my childish disappointment was better hidden than it felt, nobody talking for at least the first 30 seconds of our new countdown. “So…”

“So…” He nudged me with his shoulder again, this time staying there, forcing me, in the nicest way possible, to lean against him before I felt a deep breath move his chest and then me. “15 minutes. I’m almost a bit sad, now.”

_Don’t fuck with me._ “Hmm.” _Suddenly this is comfortable._

“Hmm?”

“Hmm.” I looked up at his face and smiled, sadly. “Yeah. It’s been a weird and terrifying but interesting experience. For me, anyway.”

“For you? You think I’ve been bored?”

“Maybe?” I raised my eyebrows and then felt everything explode as his arm suddenly found its way round my shoulders and his lips kissed my hair. _Oh God. Oh Goddddddddddd._ I tried to find my voice and felt him laugh ever-so-slightly as the reply came out slightly hoarse. “Is that a no?”

“Hmm. That’s a no.” He squeezed me slightly and I could see the smile on his face reflected in the polished metal opposite as I finally gave in and really leaned against him, head resting on his chest, wondering how my heart beat hadn’t killed me yet, or physically attacked him. _When we walk out of here, no longer terrified and trapped and crazy, this is going to take a long time to get over._

“I’ve done a good job of ignoring how scary this has been, then?”

“Yeah. Have I?”

“Yup.” I nodded and closed my eyes for a second as the faintest hint of something deliciously masculine and inviting hit my nose. _Life goal achieved: smell Alex Marquez._ “Can’t imagine a better partner to be stuck in a lift with.”

“Good.” He nodded before wriggling slightly, trying to get into his pocket, and then pulling out his phone. _Calling Marc?_

But no, he wasn’t calling Marc. 

“Right, Olivia. 13 minutes left. So what’s your number?”

*

_OH MY GOD._

I put my hand into my pocket again to double check it was still there, pulling it out and scrolling through to double-double check. And it was.

_OH MY FUCKING GOD._

Alex: _Hi there ;) this is my number. Hopefully talk soon :)_


	4. Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS.
> 
> Ok so obviously this was going to be updated after THAT photoshoot ;) but...thank you so much for the responses, I'm addicted to them and to Alex.
> 
> Please keep it coming and keep me on the right track, this is a truly terrifying one to write and post ♥
> 
> Thank you, gracias, gràcies, as always ♥

“Hey.”

Alex smiled at him through the open window and slid into the passenger seat. “Hey.”

“So…was it bad?”

He felt himself start to smirk, at the whole weird day, at the latent terror, at the way Marc was looking at him like he thought he was about to cry. _You kind of seem like maybe you cried._ “Nah, not too bad.”

“Really?!” The older brother checked the road and pulled out, risking a glance at his sibling, who was now staring the opposite way out the passenger window, smiling to himself, taking a few deep breaths to readjust to this new, old reality.

“Yeah. Good company.”

Marc shot him another look of disbelief and then shrugged. “Oh. Ok. They know who you were?”

“Yup.” Alex smiled back at him and nodded. “Eventually.” _Instantly._

*

I usually got the metro back home, but I was well north of Passeig de Gracia by the time I realised I wasn’t jogging, I was supposed to be going somewhere, and eventually decided walking would be faster. Which it wasn’t, but at least it was outside after the day trapped indoors. _Trapped sounds so negative, though. Cocooned. Cordoned off._

I honestly didn’t know if he was going to follow up on the promise of contact, but one thing that made everything that little bit different was the fact I had _his_ number. _He could have taken mine and then disappeared, but no. We swapped. Which was his idea._ I grinned the heat of the evening sun into submission and soon found myself stood just inside my front door losing my mind all over again, a horribly beautiful conflict between Alex Marquez the beautiful person and Moto3 rider, Alex Marquez the real person I had actually talked to and started to actually get to know in some small way, and Alex Marquez the _18 year old._ In all honesty, the second one was winning. If he’d been anyone, just the whole day would have been enough to make me slightly tingle. _But 18._

_But so beautiful, and calm, and funny. And interested. And soul-searchingly doe-eyed._

I sighed to myself and banged my bag down on the kitchen table before sighing some more and leaning on the top, memory of the way his finger had traced my jeans burning through the fabric, before eventually going for the only option I could imagine would help.

Ice cold shower.

*

“You’re quiet.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re quiet.” Marc frowned at him as they settled onto the A-2 north of Martorell, sun dipped far enough for the headlight beams to show. “Sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, fine. Sorry. Distracted.”

_Distracted._ “What by?”

_Of course, you want to know every millimetre of the day._ Alex smiled at him, enjoying the feeling of having something he wasn’t going to nor had to explain, and shrugged. “Nothing much. Just been a weird day.”

“But in good company, you said.”

“Yup.” He sighed and then felt himself flash tingly as his phone buzzed in his pocket, distracted once again, and angled himself away slightly to protect himself from the prying eyes that were trying to catch the image on the screen and on his face. _Good company._ He opened the message and grinned.

Livi: _Wasn’t lying the whole time…. ;)_

Attached, a picture of an open wardrobe, AM12 t shirt pride of place. _Nice apartment._ He zoomed in slightly and looked through the reflection caught in the mirror on the still-closed door of one side, smiling to himself as he saw what it was. _Haha, should have closed the door._ He jumped slightly as it went again, then grinned again even wider.

Livi: _Should have closed the door… :/_

_Yup. But not gonna lie, I’m glad you didn’t._

Alex: _Jajaja yep! Oh dear… ;)_

*

_OH DEAR._

I stared down at the phone and went bright red despite being alone. _THAT’S ALL YOU’RE GOING TO SAY?_ I cursed the wine that had made me brave enough to send it in the first place even as I took another sip, wincing and then looking back at the picture. _Can’t be that bad, right?_ I stared another few seconds and then gulped. _No, it’s actually fine._ Denim shorts and a black bra. _Could have been naked. And that’s ALL the wrong message._

I nodded to myself and then sighed again and put the phone down again.

_Is it?_

I was about to throw the phone out the window down into the street before it went again, the vibration repeating itself in my chest. _God, get a grip._ I also then panicked that the phone contained the only trace I had of his number and wrote it on a post-it, nailing it almost literally to the notice board, and then took a deep breath and looked.

Bea: _So are you still having dinner with Jordi?_

_FUCK._ I looked at the clock and breathed a sigh of relief, quickly going through the calculations and realising I would make it.

Livi: _Thanks, you reminded me ;) and yeah…meet you after somewhere near Liceu?_

Bea: _Let me know. And I guess you’ll be screaming more about certain people than him? ;)_

Livi: _It got worse, sent him a bra picture by accident…_

Bea: _ONLY YOU. Jajajajajajajaja :P_

Livi: _He’s 18. EIGHTEEN._

Bea: _When you were 18 you were almost married!_

Livi: _EXACTLY. Look how that worked out! Right, showering._

Bea: _Ok, just tell me one thing…did he reply?_

Livi: _Yup: Jaja oh dear… ;)_

Bea: _Jajaja…OH DEAR. ♥_

*

I made it just in time, able to walk in looking reasonably similar to how I’d left the house, and took the kiss on the cheek and the smile and returned them, sat down, ordered, talked. Laughed because I was supposed to. Went to the bathroom that I didn’t need and stared in the mirror.

_Bye bye. Sorry._

I walked back to the table and took a deep breath.

“We need to talk.”

*

“You’re still quiet.”

“Shhhhh I’m asleep.”

Marc prodded him and grinned as he squirmed. “You’re not asleep. You’re pretending to be asleep so I leave you alone.”

“You know me so well. Why isn’t it working?”

“Because you’re being weird!”

“I’m not being weird! I’ve been stuck in a lift all day, there is no mood you’re supposed to be in!”

“Well I thought you’d be happier to see me.” His brother turned to him and gave him a ridiculously dorky grin. “I know down the mine life is hard too, but up here we were worried!”

“Pfff.” _Down the mine. You’re such a wonderful idiot._ “Sorry, I know. But I’m fine.”

“Fine.”

“Fine..?”

“Fine is not a Marquez word. Fine is an _urgghh I’ll say fine so I don’t have to say shit_ word.”

Alex laughed at that, properly, and sat up further in the seat. “Ok, FINE. Honestly I’m just…talked out. Relaxed for the first time all day. Despite your driving…” His voice got slightly higher pitched and he covered his eyes as Marc gave someone the finger and pulled out into the fast lane. Gulp. “So stop being so parental.”

“Oh you didn’t just say that, Alex Marquez.”

_Oh God._ Alex winced as the pedal was truly pushed to the metal, fingers digging into the door as he held on for no real benefit whatsoever, used to it but always surprised. “You know..." _ARGH._ "It would be ironic if I died now.”

*

“Talk?” Worried eyes, maybe _selfishly_ worried eyes. “Why?”

Cough. “Because this isn’t what we want it to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” _We don’t fit. I’m bored. Part of me has been bored since June._ “I don’t think we’re going to work. Again.”

He took a sharp breath and slowly put down his fork, face full of confusion. “What?”

“This.” I motioned between us and took another breath. “I’m sorry. We tried?”

“Yeah and it’s working.”

_No, no it’s not._ “It’s not working-“

“It’s working fine!”

“Shh!” I looked around and then frowned at him and the petulant tone. _And you’re supposed to be the mature one._ “It’s not working for _me_. Sorry. Not like this. It’s just the same as before.”

“I don’t understand.”

_Nailed it._ “I know. You don’t understand. You don’t understand a lot. Which would be a starting point, except that you’re not making any attempt to find out.”

“Livi, come on. Stop being s-“

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

He stopped, eyes wide, and then shrugged, passive aggression rolling over the table cloth like a tsunami. “Oh I’m _sorry_.”

“Yeah, you’re always sorry. You _were_ always sorry. And I don’t remember ever having to say that to you _once_. “

“I don’t und-“

“I KNOW. You don’t understand. You thought we were fine. Well, we were fine. But _fine_ isn’t good enough.” I got to my feet and put a 50 Euro note on the table, shaking much more than I wanted to admit, and then let out the breath I was holding.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to meet Bea, and think.”

“Oh, typical.”

_Hole in one._ “Bye.”

“Wait!”

I stopped a couple of paces away and turned, sigh already left the building. “What?”

“Is this it?”

_Is this it. That’s what I’ve been asking myself, mate._ “I don’t know. But it is for tonight. Bye.”

*

“You’re seriously going to go to bed?”

Alex nodded at him, slowly like he was a small child, eyes wide, and then smiled. “Yeah, I’m going to bed.”

“It’s 1045.”

“Yeah.”

“But…it’s 10…forty…six now.”

_Yes Marc. That is the time._ “Yeah…?”

“And you’re going to bed.”

“If you don’t leave me alone, I swear you’ll be waking up dead.”

His brother’s eyes widened at that, grinning at the cheek, and then his eyes followed him to the door. “But it’s early.”

“Yeah, it’s early.” Alex stretched himself out, only member of the household who could touch his fingertips almost to the ceiling, and nodded, yawning. “But I’m tired.” Pause for more yawning. “And we’re training at 9.”

“Ok. Fine.”

The younger brother smiled to himself before stopping in the doorway and peeking back round, unable to resist. 

“ _Fine_ is not a Marquez word, Marc...” 

He grinned and laughed as a cushion flew past his face and hit the wall next to him before ignoring the rest of the protestations and plodding his way upstairs, using the bathroom, and then opening his door and sighing, relaxation count only getting higher. _Peace._ He flipped the light outside and then got undressed, leaving boxers on due to the now-known risk of Marc poaching him in the night to post on Instagram, and got into bed, eyes wandering over his room, stopping on the Piqué shirt. _She’s older than you, too. And you’re fine with it. Right?_

He pulled his phone awkwardly off the bedside cabinet and put it on his chest before reaching to turn off the light and blinking slightly at the change in light, features now lit up only by the screen, scrolling through the messages, checking through twitter, and then taking a deep breath.

Alex: _You never replied. Was ‘oh dear’ misleading? :/ ;)_

_Please reply._ He stared at it for five minutes, nothing happening, mind power and telepathy not switched on tonight, and then felt his chest vibrate and snapped his eyes open. _Pleasee…_

Livi: _Maybe a bit… Sorry to scar you (or scare you)_

_YES._

Alex: _Neither! I didn’t want to be that guy licking my phone screen making you think that’s all I wanted!_

Livi: _You’re not that guy? :P_

Alex: _NO! But I did almost lick the screen. Just a bit. :)_

Livi: _I think I’m flattered. And a bit tipsy so :/_

Alex: _If it helps my case, it’s more exciting that you’re replying than that you sent me a bra picture. Ok?_

Livi: _Ok. :)_

Alex: _Good. Now I’m going to sleep after finally escaping my brother. ;)_

Livi: _Lock the door ;) *HORN*_

Alex: _Jajajaja URGH don’t remind me. #instahorror_

Livi: _It’s cute, don’t worry. Maybe I licked my screen…just a bit? ;)_

Alex: _OH, really? ;) jaja…this was a crazy day. Thank you for not being a crazy person._

Livi: _Thank you for the same. Sleep well, little Alex Marquez._

Alex: _*grumpy face* I’m the tallest…_

Livi: _I meant it in a good way. Or maybe in a way that will leave me tossing and turning all night…not sure yet._

_Don’t do that, please._ He typed out the reply, adding and deleting kisses for a full minute, before finally sighing and just firing it off. _Just…take a leaf out of his book and live before you think. Scary but more fun._

Alex: _Ok forgiven. :) Goodnight. xxxx_

He tried to pretend he wasn’t waiting for the response before his head hit the pillow, grinning, once he’d read it.

Livi: _Goodnight_

Livi: _xxx ? ;)_


	5. Ne Le Dis A Personne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12 Kudos = posting right now ♥ thank you!
> 
> Title (English: Tell No One) is the name of a great french film directed by the glorious Guillaume Canet (story is unrelated, promise ;)).

The perks of going to bed early were that he was also up early, and sat at the table eating cereal, reading the newspaper, still of the house so calm before his family – or honestly, Marc – woke up. Realising maybe he would look a bit middle aged from the outside but also aware that the paper was actually interesting and the calm was good, so it didn’t really matter. It lasted a good half hour, or 3 espressos, until his brother dragged himself down the stairs and sat opposite him, spell broken but replaced by another.

“Morning.”

“Urgh. Why are you so _happy_.”

Alex smiled at that, Marc starting to reciprocate, as he was bound to do by the rules of being Marc Marquez, and wordlessly pushed coffee at him. The older brother took it and downed it before pushing it back, grinning.

“Thanks.”

“Are you expecting me to get you more?”

“No.” Accompanied by a face that said _of course not but absolutely yes_. 

Alex rolled his eyes at it and went for more, coming back to the same place to find his newspaper commandeered and the rest of _his_ coffee gone.

_I hate you._ Marc seemed to hear the internal monologue and looked up, grinning. 

“Hmm?”

*

_Japan. Care about Japan. Cherry blossoms. Hmm, lovely. Asia. Wow. Japan. So cool._

I wasn’t doing a very good job of convincing myself my brain was on the task in hand, and it was made a lot worse by the sight of 3 of the most beautiful guys in the world unloading a van across the road from my balcony that I was now sat on. 

_Japan._

I wrote three more words, repeating the mantra, before finally letting my brain off the hook and allowing the connections to attack me.

_Japan. Motegi. Suzuka._

Sigh.

_Asia. Talent Cup. Red Bull Rookies. Karel Hanika._

Big sigh.

_Jack Miller._

I flipped the lid down on my computer and tapped my phone to see if there was anything there, knowing there wouldn’t be since it was on loud and hadn’t made a sound, but still disappointed anyway.

_ALEX MARQUEZ._

*

“Pfffffffffffffffffff.” Marc hauled himself onto the sofa and grinned innocently at his mother’s disapproving face. “Sorrry…”

“Hmm.” She raised an eyebrow and smiled before walking past him out the room and whacking his muddy feet slightly further off the sofa. “Shower, please. Then lunch.”

“I’m a World Champion, you can’t order me around anymore!” He grinned to himself as the inevitable response echoed back from the kitchen. 

“SHOWER, MARC. NOW.”

He waited the requisite couple of seconds for effect and then pulled himself back to his feet, knowing the smile on his mother’s face matched the one on his own.

“Okkk….”

“Where’s your brother?”

“Just coming _out_ the shower.”

“Tell him lunch will be ready in 20 minutes.”

“Okkk….”

And again.

*

“Want any help?” Alex walked into the kitchen and smiled at the _oh wow one of my sons is actually asking that question_ look on his mother’s face. “Hey, I’m the good brother. Remember?”

“I always remember.” She pulled him in to kiss his cheek and then ruffled his hair as he went a bit red, caught between _mature people love their parents even in public_ and _GOD MUM DON’T._ “But I’m fine, thank you. Good training this morning?”

“Yeah. Kicked his ass.”

“Good good. Someone has to.”

They shared a laugh before Marc walked in and narrowed his eyes at the obviously guilt-ridden mischievous faces.

“What.”

“Nothing.”

“WHAT?”

“Nothing. Just telling mum how I kicked your ass.”

“Yeah, well…” Marc’s face relaxed and he shrugged, accepting and grinning, before stealing a piece of bread, just avoiding getting his hand whacked and throwing it into his mouth. “Somebody has to.”

*

_ALEX MARQUEZ._

_Ok, well this is pointless._ I was in the same place, computer closed, staring at it like it was still open. _So ride, city or gym._

I weighed up the options for a while before deciding on ride and spending 20 minutes looking for the key, eventually finding it of all places in the bathroom cupboard (?) and then finally finding myself with two feet on either side of my bike, staring out the garage door, praying for strangely calm traffic, which was always made worse by the one way system that insisted on sending me back towards Diagonal before I was allowed to turn round and escape north to the ring roads. _Deep breath. No death. Everything will be fine._

I think I let that breath out for the first time about 25 minutes later, on autopilot or terrorpilot enough to have not even made a decision where I was going and ended up following the road all the way back round towards El Prat and then further, a plan eventually forming to have lunch in Tarragona, since that seemed to be an actual task worth riding over an hour for. So I did, and I found a friend for afternoon coffee, pretended work was going great, didn’t mention _Alex Marquez_ since something told me, even just for his sake, that I should only trust myself and Bea with that information as of now. _As of now. Like something else is going to happen?_

I rode back much calmer, brain at least able to slightly function, and spent the rest of the evening doing the work I was supposed to have been doing all day, phone on silent and forgotten since I’d had bad experiences before with sitting at traffic lights in the middle of the city, waiting for green, phone in my jacket pocket ringing and creating a private party I couldn’t get at to stop. 

I got in bed at just before 2 am, opened the phone to set my alarm, and then felt myself go white hot.

3 missed calls.

_Mum._

_Bea._

_ALEX._

I checked the time on it and growled in irritation as I realised that, even though it had been fairly early when he’d called, it was now 2am and there was no way of calling him back. My brain started going into overdrive again before I realised I had texts, too, and checked those.

Alex: _Tried to call, obviously you were doing something more important :P off to Indy tomorrow, so it’ll be harder to keep in touch. (Assuming you want to keep in touch.)_

I sighed and melted down into the pillow, putting the phone on the bedside table and staring at the ceiling.

_I want to keep in touch._

_Eighteen._

_But I want to keep in touch._

_But you’re eighteen._

_And act less like it than I do._

*

“You’re being weird again.”

_OH MY GOD MARC._ “NO, I’m NOT.” He widened his eyes at his brother and flipped him off. “I’m just thinking.”

“Thinking.”

“THINKING.”

“What about?”

“POISON OR KNIFE, WHEN AND WHERE, WHETHER YOU WOULD SCREAM.” He laughed and snapped his arms up to protect his face as Marc threw another cushion. “Hey!”

“Hey? I’m being really nice and you’re planning my murder!”

“Yeah but it’s only a plan.” He grinned and threw the cushion back, but more gently. “At the moment…”

“Pfffff. I’m just worried. I know you don’t like lifts-“

“No, it’s not that.” _If I tell him, then I really won’t be left alone._ “I think it’s the contract stuff…moving up to Moto2…you and your crazy life…” _The way I know I wouldn’t have talked to her like I did if I hadn’t let my guard down and what that means for the rest of my life._ “And being trapped in a lift with someone nice, who knew who I was but didn’t go crazy.”

“Hmm…” Marc narrowed his eyes and studied his face for a few seconds, wondering whether to buy it, before Roser and Julia finally both sighed and looked over at them.

“Boys…we’re trying to watch this.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

Equal _eek_ grins, before Alex got to his feet. “Back in a few minutes.”

*

_Please answer…_ He listened to it ring and ring before eventually sighing and turning back to the back door, freezing when he saw Marc.

“Who are you calling?”

“Nobody.”

“Nobody has a specific phone number?”

_Bastard._ “Yeah. 93-F-U-C-K O-F-F.”

Marc laughed and held the door for him as he went back in. “You know I’m not going to leave-“

“YEAH I KNOW. But honestly, I was just calling my voicemail because I had a missed call. And I came into the garden because THIS-“ He pointed between them and poked Marc in the ribs. “Was happening in the living room, too.”

“Sorrryy. But-“

“Don’t ruin it. Just say sorry.” Alex raised his eyebrows and grinned at the disgruntled face in return. 

“Fine.”

“Fine is not-“

“ARGGHHH!” Marc poked him back before stomping away through the kitchen door and upstairs, grinning to himself and already regretting _ever_ having said that. _But I don’t believe you for a second._

*

The phone alarm of the next day was a lot more painful, Alex finding it difficult to sleep now they were staring down the barrel of another race weekend and he actually didn't want to go, sleeping too late and not enough before the blare woke him up. _Well, no. I want to race, more than anything. But Montmelo or Motorland would be pretty good right now. So I can..._ He trailed off the thought and smiled as he saw there was a message already waiting. _So I can go and find that nice apartment with the nice girl in it with the great shorts and bra and convince her I don't want to fuck her and run away. And that I'm old and wise._

Livi: _Sorry I missed it, I was working :/ when do you leave?_

Alex: _Morning! :) Ok, reasonable excuse I guess :P Today, flight is at 4._

Livi: _Not too bad then! Just after breakfast. ;)_

Alex: _I know I'm technically a teenager but FYI I was up at 710 yesterday. :P_

Livi: _Two words: Planeta Calleja. Jajajaja :P_

Alex: _I was at a test!_

Livi: _Sure... ;)_

Alex: _Pffff. It's like talking to my brother. :P_

Livi: _Jaja :) On that note...have you told him?_

Alex: _Told him?_

Livi: _Just...I went for a ride yesterday and met up with a good friend...but I didn't tell them. Don't know what to make of that?_

Alex: _Well that depends on you I think. So you didn't sell me out?_

Livi: _Haha, never. Just me and my absolute bestest friend since forever know I have your number. Depends on me?_

He took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes, wondering how to put this and eventually just diving in, so much easier in writing than in person.

Alex: _Well I like you. I want to get to know you better. Because I hope I already know you a bit? So if you want that, too...then I guess there's something to talk about..._

Livi: _Something to talk about? You mean more than just 'lol guys I got trapped in a lift with AM12'?_

Alex: _Exactly. And I love the way you can't be bothered to write my name :P_

Livi: _That's just the way I think about you, sorry. :P_

Alex: _As a racer not a person. FINE._

Livi: _Fine is not a good word! :P and no, not like that._

He stopped and felt his eyes pause over that, goosebumps attacking. _Fine is not a good word? No, it's not._

Alex: _So you think about me?_

I sighed and read it a couple of times before feeling all restraint melt. _All the fucking time._

Livi: _Maybe a bit. As a person and as a racer. Although I don't think they're two different things._

Alex: _No?_

Livi: _No! You are a racer. That's it, isn't it?_

Alex: _Yeah. It is. :) Well...I need to get up now. I will update you on the bathroom, breakfast, my outfit, Marc's outfit, my packing..._

Livi: _Jajaja I read that as 'grow up' and I was like yes, yes you do :P But no need, I'm watching you_

Alex: _One day you're going to regret this. When I'm 30 and dashing and no taller than now :P_

Livi: _Jaja...sorry! There aren't many things I can pick on..._

Alex: _Marquez family trait: utter perfection._

Livi: _You wouldn't dare say that in person, would you? ;)_

Alex: _No ;) I'll talk to you later. (and I hope you aren't watching me!)_

*

Starting off the day with contact meant my brain could kind of work for a while, so I finished the article properly by lunch and then sent it in, feeling a weight off my shoulders at now having a few days free, or not meant for writing, because I now had to decide where I was going to write about next and why, and the pitch it. So I stood in front of he map for a while, wondering, before finding my eyes constantly returning to one place, clenching my teeth at the stupidity, and grinning uncontrollably in between. _Come on, really?_

"Afternoon. It's me, Olivia...yeah good thanks...yeah you got it ok?...Great....yeah I'm just looking for inspiration on my poster of the world....yeah...European, yeah....oh, ok?...yeah that sounds good....East of Berlin, basically?...ok yeah, looking now...I think Vienna or Bratislava. Or both."

I waited, eyes flicking between the word _Brno_ and the word _Bratislava_ on the wall, and then grinned.

"Yeah, I'll send you a plan by 4...?"

*

Alex: _At the airport. Checking in. Marc's bag is too heavy again. #yawn_

Livi: _Jaja common problem?_

Alex: _Every fucking time._

Livi: _Grrrrrr_

Alex: _Are you working?_

Livi: _Yeah, planning the next trip :)_

Alex: _Can't you just come to Indy? ;)_

I felt my pulse quicken and took a few breaths, policy of _DO NOT TELL HIM THE CRAZY PLAN_ immediately blown out the water.

Livi: _Funny you should say that...no I can't, but...I think next week I'll be in Bratislava and Vienna..._

Alex: _I feel like you want me to smile but I don't know why :/?!_

Livi: _Well I'll be done by Friday..._

Alex: _But I'll be in Brno?_

Livi: _1h 14 minutes without traffic._

He stared at that, starting to grin, and then got snapped out of it as Marc reached around to grab his passport out of his back pocket, putting it on the desk for him.

Alex: _Answer the phone when I call you in a few minutes._


	6. Seriously?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be tomorrow but it's too damn easy to write ♥ and you're being too addictively good at making the speediness worth it :) thank you!

“Hi.” I took a deep breath as I heard the _hi_ in return, imagining the face attached to it. “I picked up this time…”

_“You did! But I’m in the men’s toilets hiding so can’t talk long…"_

“You say that like you usually use the women’s…”

_“Jajaja…NO. Ok…You’re serious?”_

_About what? Make a list a mile long._ “About Brno?”

_“Yeah, Brno.”_

“Well…” Another deep breath. “How do you feel about the idea?”

_“Happy! But I’d feel even happier if you walked in right now with a ticket for Indy.”_

“Sorry I can’t.” _God, you actually really like me. And we’re just talking on the phone like that’s normal._

_“I know. And that would be hard to explain…”_

_So we are going to explain? Or the opposite?_ “Well I’m doing the trip. I didn’t talk to you before I had to send the plan, so…I’ll definitely be in Slovakia and Austria because it got approved straight away.”

_“Well I’ll be in Brno.”_

_Oh I know you will._ “Alex?”

_“Hmm?”_

“If we meet up…how would it work?”

_“I don’t really know. I just like the idea of you being there.”_

“Aren’t you going to be horrendously busy, though?” _And bless you._

_“In the day, yeah. But at night I’ll be free.”_

I ran those words through my head before he seemed to have done the same and clarified.

_“I mean…we could go and get a meal or something…”_

“Yeah.” Slight cough. “Of course. Well I’ll be watching the racing, too…so I won’t be sat there being impatient. Not that I would be, anyway.”

_“Ok are you serious about this because I’m starting to look forward to it.”_

_Me too._ “Yeah, I am. Are you? You really have time to sneak off and find a 26 year old you met in a lift?”

_“I am. And no, not for that. But sneak off to find YOU? Yes. That’s different.”_

“Alex?”

_“Yeah?”_

“I’m coming as a friend. Ok?”

There was a telling pause before a slightly flustered and mumbled agreement. “ _Hmm._ ”

“Is that ok?”

_“Yes. Of course. And now I’m definitely excited so don’t back out.”_

“Ok, good. Me too, and I won’t. Promise.”

_“Ok. Good. So you’re coming to the track, too?”_

“Yeah. Just bought a ticket.”

_“You didn’t have to buy it-“_

“Yeah I did. I’m not being that person.”

_“What person?”_

“The person who makes you think I just want free stuff from you.”

_“I wouldn’t think that.”_

“I didn’t think you would but I still think it’s important.”

_“Oh. Ok. But please can you ask me first in future?”_

_Oh please let me make your dreams come true, please…_ “What?!”

 _“Err…yeah. Oops.” Assuming you want to go to another one. Pleasseee. “Don’t want this to be the last, to be honest.”_

The smile in his voice made part of my heart disappear into the ether. _Oh God. This is it now._ “Seriously?”

_“I’m the serious one.”_

“I know.”

_“So that answers the question. And I have to go now, otherwise Marc will think I have stomach problems.”_

I laughed at that and nodded to myself before realising he couldn’t see that. “Ok, I understand. Have a good flight.”

_“I’ll try. What time do you usually go to sleep?”_

_What?_ “About 230am, being honest. Why?”

 _“Ha! Who’s the teenager now?”_ He laughed ignored my protestations. _“Because I’ll call you properly later from my room. In peace. Ok?” If you want to talk to me?_

_Wow._ “Ok. Any time before 3am just text first and I’ll let you know if I’m awake.” _Properly?_

_“Perfect. Bye…”_

“Alex?”

_“Yeah?”_

“If you forget, it’s o-“

_“Trust me, I won’t forget. Bye bye.”_

“Bye.”

I put the phone down and stared at it for a full ten minutes, then called Bea.

“Ok shit got real you have to come over right now.”

_“You’re in luck because I finished work early. Do I need to bring clichés like ice cream and tissues?”_

“No, you need to bring yourself and maybe some wine.”

_“So shit got real as in shit got good.”_

“Shit got insane and you’re going to tell me if it’s good.”

_“I will try my best but it sounds like you already decided.”_

_It sounds…like you already…decided._ I put the phone down and stared at it some more before picking it up as something else crossed my mind, logging into twitter and finding the obligatory just-posted ‘we are at the airport’ tweet.

@LiviOhNotLoi: @alexmarquez23 have a good flight, ‘serious one’! Wish I was going, but hasta Brno…

I read it back, hoping it was innocent enough if we were keeping whatever it was a secret, before grinning again like a Cheshire Marquez.

_Alex Marquez (@alexmarquez23) favourited one of your tweets!_

Oh, did he.

_Alex Marquez (@alexmarquez23) started following you_

Oh, did he.

DM: @alexmarquez23: @LiviOhNotLoi: I really hope this is you ;) :/

DM: @LiviOhNotLoi: @alexmarquez23 did he think you had diarrhea? ;) jeje

DM: @alexmarquez23: @LiviOhNotLoi: touch and go…

DM: @LiviOhNotLoi: @alexmarquez23 so many jokes I could make but have a good flight :) xxx

DM: @alexmarquez23: @LiviOhNotLoi: oooooooh hello! Jaja bye, "friend". Talk later. 

DM: @alexmarquez23: @LiviOhNotLoi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx jajaja :P

_OH DID HE._

I went back to my staring until waking up quite a while later once the doorbell rang.

*

“He really, really likes you.” Her eyes stared at me from under raised brows, knowing me too well for me to be able to hide any of my reaction to that whatsoever. “That much is clear.”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm?”

“Hmm.”

“Why do you doubt that?”

“Because part of me doesn’t want to believe it.”

“Why?”

 _You already know why._ “Because I really like him.” _And it’s terrifying._

“No problem then.”

I glared at her again and then shrugged. “Bea, he’s eighteen years old.”

“Yeah, he is. Everyone is at some point.”

“But he’s 18. Right now. 8 years younger than me.”

“Yeah, but-“

“EIGHTEEN.”

“Shut up.” She put her glass down and levelled her eyes at me, knowing that I understood the look completely: _will you just fucking listen to me please._ “Everyone becomes, like…a proper person at different ages. I think maybe I was 19 or 20 before I became the first version of who I am now, would you agree with that?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Ok. But you weren’t. Maybe that’s the problem. Because of him – sorry I’m not a fan and never will be – I think you only got that when you left him. The first time.” She raised her eyebrows at that and I shot back a _no we’re not talking about that right now_ before she carried on. “So…a lot older. I don’t mean you were immature, I just mean you didn’t really know who you were. Make sense?”

 _Too much, as always._ “Yes.”

“Good. So, maybe it seems difficult to believe, and I know he’s a guy, but he seems pretty straight up fully formed human being. From what you’ve said. And from watching him…he’s obviously not a dickhead.”

 _Such a poet._ I smiled at that and took a deep breath, nodding. “But 18. That’s serious.”

 _So it goes without saying that he’s not a dickhead?_ “But is it more important that he’s Alex or that he’s 18?”

“I don’t know.”

“I do.” She took a sip of wine and glared at her phone before pressing cancel on whoever was calling her. “Sorry. Right, well…there must be another example.” She narrowed her eyes, thinking, and then grinned. “Ha! There’s an obvious example that I’m surprised you’re not already yelling at _me_!”

“Eh?”

“Well…sometimes things just happen that seem like they won’t work… _whenever, wherever_ …but women we’re _las de la intuición_ , it doesn’t mean you’re _loca_ …it just means your Hips Don’t Lie. And your hips want to get to know Alex Marquez, intimately.”

“Oohhhhh. AH!”

“Exactly. And that’s more years I think. Like 9?”

“Really?!”

“Yeah. And so, he wasn’t 18…but you’re not 34. Or Shakira.”

“I’m not. Although I have been in a long term relationship with an Argentinian.”

“HA. God that’s true too. URGH. Sorry…” She cringed and then smiled again, back on topic. “But that seems to work just fine. In fact it works enough to make me unable to listen to her new album through pure jealousy.”

I laughed at that and nodded slightly, sipping my own wine. “But I’m not sure life decisions are supposed to be based on celebrity relationships.”

“If he’s anything like his brother in a few years, you _will_ be a celebrity relationship.” She noticed the look on my face at that and immediately started trying to back track. “Fuck, sorry! Don’t think about that. Please. Sorry?!”

I nodded, breath stolen for a minute, and really considered that. _Didn’t think about that even once._ “Fuck.” _And IN A FEW YEARS?!_

“Sorry.”

“It’s ok.” _ARGH._

“No, it’s not. Because in case you didn’t notice, I am very pro-you and Alex. And I feel like that point was a negative thing that didn’t need to come up, yet.”

“Me and Alex?”

“You and Alex. Get rid of the denial.”

“Can’t.”

“Fine.”

“Trying, though.”

“Progress.”

“Small.”

“Good enough. For now.”

I took another deep breath and nodded, smiling again. “You know he’s going to call me when he’s checked into his hotel? And texted me this morning, this afternoon, called me from the airport...”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t do that if you don’t like people, do you?”

“No, you don’t.” She squeezed my hand and then poured us more wine. “And you don’t do that if you’re the kind of guy who’s interested in one night stands and nothing else. At any age.”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm?”

“Hmm.”

“Come on, spit it out.”

“Ok.” I took another deep breath and shrugged. “If we’re being honest? This is why I walked out of the restaurant. He didn’t do anything wrong. I’d just spent the day with Alex and…it wasn’t the same. I mean, obviously not…he’s a 39 year old half-Argentine history professor and Alex is an 18 year old cerverina Moto3 rider…but…I…I don’t know how to explain it…it was just different. It felt flat. Like I could be reasonably happy for 50 years with him, but that would be it.”

“Same as before, then.”

“No, actually.” I smiled sadly and shrugged again. “I did marry him, remember. And I didn’t feel like that then. But…” _Oh God._ I realised where my train of thought had ended up and found myself almost on the verge of tears at the panic created by what I was about to say, looking back at her and trying to say it with my eyes instead of having to say it with my mouth, eventually grabbing a Marlboro from her packet on the table and almost running off towards the balcony. She gave me 3 minutes and then followed.

“You don’t smoke.”

“No, still true.” I blew some at her and shrugged. “Or will be in a minute.”

“I’m not judging. I’m a human chimney.”

I laughed at that and nodded before finding myself half hugged, arm round my waist, and leant my head on her shoulder. “Do you know what I was going to say?”

“Yes I think so.”

“Are you still going to make me say it?”

“Yes because I think you have to.”

“Well, fuck.” We both laughed and she let me go, content I was more able to deal with myself again, and then locked her eyes on mine.

“Come on.”

“Right. Ok.” I nodded and stubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray, keeping the eye contact to a minimum, temporary coward. “But…when I married _him_ , I didn’t have anything to compare it to.” Deep breath. “That’s what I was going to say. Yes, I’m giddy and it’s fun and everything else, but…actually seriously, underneath the slight screaming and who he is, to everyone else at least...as in ‘AM12 Moto3 rider brother of Marc’…I just feel like there’s something there. Something insane.” Another deep breath. “And amazing.”

She nodded at me and grabbed me into an overly violent hug, trying to raise the mood again, not surprised in the slightest. “I know.” Squeeze. “But that’s not a bad thing. Maybe a scary thing, but not a bad thing.”

“Hmm. You know?”

“I’ve not seen you like this for years. You’re on fire. And another thing about the age thing: he’s not freaking out, is he?”

“Maybe! We don’t know-“ I pulled away and had myself shh-ed again.

“We know enough to know that he keeps making the moves and just seems to see you as a person.”

“True…”

“Sounds pretty mature to me.”

I smiled at that, looked off over the street, and then glared back at her. “This smear campaign on my maturity has to stop.”

“It can. If you start putting him before the number eighteen written on a page.”

“Bargaining now, eh?”

“Yup.”

“Hmm. Fine.” I shrugged and then find myself start to grin, again. “I will try.”

“That usually means you win, so good.”

“You’re really telling me to just dive into this?”

“Does he want you to?”

“Yeah, seems that way.”

“And do you trust him when he says he’s not ‘that guy’?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“So if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But sounds like it would be for a good reason if it didn’t. Not because of age. So what are you going to lose?”

“The chance to sit here and be able to imagine good thing after good thing without actually having to dare to see if they happen?”

She nodded at that, grinning, and then raised an eyebrow. 

“So, fuck all…”

*

I looked at the clock again and sighed. _2.37am._

And tossed and turned some more. _2.38am._

And did that until past 3, with nothing.

_You actually forgot?_

Another half hour. Nothing. And then, finally, _3.37am_.

Alex: _Please still be awake…? :/_


	7. Conversations with Bed People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for everything! I'm loving it, hope you are too and thanks again ♥
> 
> Title taken from Buffy ep 'Conversations with Dead People'. (bed is better than dead, right? ;))
> 
> Sorry if it's not quite up to standard. Was more difficult this one, for some reason ♥ let me know?!

I picked up the phone with the biggest grin on my face for a long time, only putting it down an hour and a half later when the sun was already creeping over the horizon. _Properly._ We had talked properly. About everything and anything, laughing, slightly arguing, grinning. Ending with:

_“Ok goodnight.”_

“Goodnight.”

A few seconds of silence.

_“I don’t want to hang up.”_

“I was waiting for you.”

_“Well I will happily sit here with the phone on my pillow all night….so…”_

I laughed and took a deep breath, realising the same was probably true of me. But it couldn’t be, because he had stuff to do. And so did I, nothing like his, but still. _Life. Thursday. On a few hours sleep._ “I would too, but you have an important weekend.”

_“I do. I can snore to you on speakerphone if you’ll let me?”_

“Ha. No. Ok, go to sleep. Go to sleep and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” _I like how it's apparently up to me._

_“So you’re going to let me keep bothering you?”_

“You’re not bothering me.”

_“Promise?”_

“Promise.”

_“Ok good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.”_

I took another breath and bit my lip before nodding to myself. “You will. Alex?”

_“Yeah?”_

“When I see a message from you, it only bothers me in a good way. Ok?”

_“Ok. Night.”_ I could hear the grin from across the Atlantic.

“Night.”

*

Alex: _Morning! As a measure of how much I trust you to not sell me out, here’s a hilarious picture of my brother:_

I looked at it and then spluttered into my coffee in Plaça Reial, picture in question being one of Marc face planted into the tray table in front of him on the plane, obvious little wet patch of drool on the pillow on top of it, slack jawed and very relaxed. _And adorable. But wow you really must trust me._ I looked up and studied the scene around me for a few minutes, wondering how many people just got sent asleep messages of the MotoGP World Champion drooling, without him even knowing, and then smiled again at how it didn’t seem that crazy anymore. Marc was Alex’s brother. _Not Alex is Marc’s brother._

Livi: _So you’re not the Instagram type? #ISmellRevenge ;)_

Alex: _Haha no! He’d only do something worse ;) :/ sorry I kept you awake last night!_

Livi: _Worth it. What are you on now? Track walk?_

Alex: _Yeah just the on the way…Rins is really quiet and moody so I’m texting you :P_

Livi: _Oh so I’m second choice?_

Alex: _Now you sound annoyed, no. I thought you’d be more annoyed if I didn’t have a reason :P_

Livi: _You’re a good enough reason by yourself. ;)_

Alex: _I smell progress. ;) Where are you?_

Livi: _Plaça Reial. Coffee + Ipod. I love this city :)_

Alex: _Now I miss it. And I miss being a random stranger in Plaça Reial with coffee +Ipod._

Livi: _Is it that bad?_

Alex: _Being recognised? No. Doesn't happen that much, but it makes me nervous, especially when I'm alone. And I never really want to wander round with anyone except Marc. (and you can imagine that's difficult)!_

Livi: _I can. Well after Brno I will walk you around Barcelona and protect you. Ok? Or still nervous?_

Alex: _Still nervous, for both of us! But that sounds amazing. Make it moonlit and you have a deal._

Livi: _Moonlit? And how would you get back to Cervera? ;)_

Alex: _In the morning. Jeje...ok we have arrived…ciao xxx_

Livi: _A presto xxx you cheeky bastard._

Alex looked at that and then grinned to himself, deflecting RIns’ sullen glare with a beaming smile, then took a few minutes for the feeling to sink in before getting into work-mode and getting on with the afternoon. _Forgot to ask you if you’d be awake again. Shit._

*

Alex: _Repeat of last night: please tell me you’re awake…_

I breathed a ridiculous sigh of relief and then grinned to myself. _It shouldn’t matter this much already._

Livi: _Snore_

The phone immediately started to ring and I took a deep breath before pressing ‘answer’.

“Hey.” _Wow. Well that’s one breathy bedroom voice._

_“Hi. I’m finally free. You weren’t asleep?”_

“No, promise. I’m in bed, but nowhere near asleep.” _Slightly better._

_She’s in bed. Gulp. “Ok, good.” Pause. “I mean…that you weren’t asleep. Why though? It’s 326am there!”_

“Yup.” I sighed to myself and replayed the night before’s conversation with Bea before finally daring to just be honest. “I couldn’t sleep because I knew you were going to call.”

_Oh. My. God. “Oh. Ok.” Please never take that back._

“Ok?”

_“More than just ok. I’m always worried I might call and you won’t answer. Permanently.”_

“What?!”

_“I feel like since about hour 2 of the kidnapping I’ve been a bit too eager. And maybe that gave the wrong impression…?”_

“Oh! Well…that’s not what I thought. But what impression would that be? Hmm?” I chuckled to myself as there was a short burst of breathy panic down the line before a kind of answer. _And ‘kidnapping’._

_“The impression…that I wanted to take advantage of no camera being in the lift and then run away...?”_

“Ok, no.” I laughed to myself, hoping it sounded as affectionate as it felt, and shook my head. “Not at all. I’m just surprised. And if you think you were forward then I’m glad you met me now and not a few years ago.”

_“Haha, ok. Why surprised?”_

“Because…”

_Because of who I am? “Because I’m still ‘Alex Marquez’? Marc’s brother? Or 18?”_

“All of the above. But…now I know you. More. And I’m less surprised and more happy.”

_“I’m glad you said that because I was starting to get frustrated.”_

“I know I could tell. Sorry.”

_“That’s ok.”_ The tone made it perfectly obvious it was. _“Sorry it took so long. Emilio decided we should go to a team dinner.”_

“That’s ok, I was just worried you’d forgotten.”

_“I said I wouldn’t yesterday and that didn’t change. Not thinking about much else to be honest. Racing, and you.”_

“O-ok.” _But I said ‘til death do us part’, once._ “Sorry again…” I injected a bit more puppy dog eyes and smiled at the reply, imagining the eye-narrowing.

_“Hmm are you slightly tipsy? ‘Friend’?”_

“Ha. No! Not anymore. I’m just in that weird half way point between being very tired but also wide awake.”

_“You’re sure I didn’t wake you up?”_

“No, you didn’t wake me up. I’m wide awake because you make me wide awake.” I cringed slightly at that and then relaxed again as he didn’t make it weird.

_“Same. Although it’s not that late here.”_

_Just taking it all in your stride, you smooth eighteen year old wunderkind._ “Yeah what are you doing now?”

_“I’m in bed, too. Need sleeeeep after flying and today. Sounds easy, so tiring.”_

“Haha. Alex?”

_“Yeah?”_

“I’m a travel writer.”

_“Hahaha. YEAH you are. Sorry. To me you’ll always just be a weird person I got stuck with…”_

“You’re stuck with me?”

_“Well I don’t know. Am I?”_

_Oh God. Mouth meet brain, brain meet mouth._ “Maybe shouldn’t have said that…”

_“Why?”_

“Stop doing that.”

_“What am I doing?”_

The mischievous twinkle in his voice actually made me smack the bed in frustration. “You definitely definitely know what you’re doing. I can imagine how wide and innocent your eyes look right now…”

_“Hmm maybe a bit. Is that a problem?”_

I took a deep breath and thought of the wise words of the evening before, that unfortunately were now a while ago and fading. “Well I wanted to talk to you about that.”

_“As long as you want to talk to me, that’s fine.”_

“I do. I had an interesting chat with my best friend last night. About you.”

_“Ooh ok this sounds more promising…”_

“ALEX. STOP.”

There was an evil giggle down the line that I joined in with before I coughed and carried on.

“Ok, you know your age freaked me out.”

_“Yeah.” Past tense._

“Well she reminded me that people are people and that it wasn’t fair to judge who you are because of that. So I’m not going to. Now, you’re just Alex. No number. Well, only 12.”

_“She did? What’s her address?”_

“Why?!”

_“I need to send her presents.”_

_Aww._ I laughed at that and felt the words really start to sink in, realising they might be right. “It’s a bit weird for me. But I’m going to start ignoring it, ok? Ready?”

_“Ready?” Ready. Ready? Yes. I am ready._

_3, 2, 1…_ “3, 2, 1…” I listened to the nervous silence on the end of the line and then coughed, grinning. “You’re in bed…”

_“Yeah.” Oooh._

“Alone?”

_“Yeah!”_

“Me too. Can we not pretend that we both didn’t figure that out straight away and ignore it?”

_“I was scared you’d heard me go ‘oooh’ when you said it…”_

“Haha. No I didn’t but thanks for telling me.”

_“No problem. Now tell me you’re wearing my t shirt…”_

“Wait.” I took a selfie that I figured couldn’t be much worse than the way I’d looked in the lift, AM12 t shirt on, hair a bit insane but other than that both ok looking and family friendly, stupid face included, and then sent it to him. “Picture.”

_“Oh my God you are! Goddd.”_

“What?” I frowned at the way he’d said the last word and felt a shiver run down my spine. _God._

_“You’re so beautiful. Can I say that?”_

“You can say that. Thank you? But I pulled a stupid face…”

_“Good. You are, even with the face. Maybe more with the face. And you’re actually wearing it.”_

“Better t shirt on than t shirt off?” _This has to stop soon…Please make me stop soon._

_“Well I didn’t know t shirt off was an option…”_

“It isn’t.”

_“Well then that was cruel.”_

I laughed as he did and nodded to myself, definitely beaten on that one. “Haha sorry. Ok, so what are you feeling about tomorrow? Changing the subject.”

_“Ok. Well grrrr. Although you aren’t here, so maybe changing the subject is a good idea.”_

“Don’t.” _You want me to be there, don’t you?_

_“Hmm?”_

“I’m way too aware of how far away you are right now.”

_“Ohhhhhhhhhh.”_

“WHAT does that mean?”

_“It means I thought it would take me until I was 30 to convince you it was ok to say things like that.”_

“And you were willing to put in the time?”

_“I was seriously considering it.”_

“Ok well…that’s amazing.”

_“Is it?”_

“Er…yes?!”

_“Ok seriously, looking at this from a sensible perspective, I’m 18. I live at home. I’m not that pretty, and my job is very dangerous. You are 26, with a nice apartment, VERY pretty, and your job is just cool. How are YOU finding it amazing that I’m the one who wants YOU?!”_

I took that in, _sensible_ , _18_ , _pretty_ , _dangerous_ ….and then finally _I’m the one who wants YOU_ , and then sighed. “Because I already knew how awesome you were before I met you, so I’m still trying to catch up…?”

_“Well you’re 3 seconds clear now and I think I got penalised for my jump start.”_

“Ha. No, no penalties here. As long as that’s the only start you jump.”

_“Olivia! Was that a dirty joke?”_

_Sounds like you enjoyed it._ “Yes. Problem?”

_“YES. DISTANCE.”_

“Get used to it. I’ve used up a lot of race destinations on work already…”

_“Ok rewind. That’s just sad.”_

“Sorry. Alex?”

_“Yeah?”_

“There’s something we need to talk about in Brno. Ok?”

_“I don’t like the way you said that.”_

“Not about you. _Us?_ …just about me. Nothing to do with age, you, Marc…MotoGP…ok?”

_“Ok…?”_

I cringed at the puzzled, guarded tone and then took a deep breath and wondered what else I could say, unwilling to have the whole conversation on the phone. “I promise it’s nothing that has to make a difference for me. Whether it makes a difference is up to you.”

_“Ok. You don’t want to talk about it on the phone?”_

“Not really. Face to face.”

_“So you’re definitely coming?”_

“Yes.”

_“As a friend?”_

_That audible glint will kill me before I’m 30._ “I’ll come there as a friend, and we’ll see what happens. Better?” _Because you may run. Far away._

_“Much better. Now I’d better go…although I don’t want to…”_

We went through the same ritual as before before finally my head hit the pillow and I switched my brain off, final words echoing in my ears.

_Alex?_

_Yeah?_

_You said before it’s dangerous. Can you call me after FP2 please?_

_Yeah?_

_Thank you. I mean, I’ll watch…but…_

_You want me to call you before I go out?_

_No, you don’t have-_

_I meant more…is it ok with you if I call you before I go out?_

_Then yeah. Please. My superstitions will feel better._

_Superstitions?_

_Nothing much. But if you stalk my twitter more, you’ll see a good luck and be safe tweet for all of you before each weekend. So to say it voice to voice would be great._

_To hear it will be better. Night night, Livi Oh Not Loi._

_Goodnight Baby Babychamp._

_Pfffffffffffffffffffff._


	8. Detective Marquez (Senior)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feels a bit different to a few others of these so far but see what you think?? ♥
> 
> Thank you as always! ♥

_Welcome to Round 10 of the…_ I drowned it out as the words started, aware that by this point there would probably be no phone call, that knowledge making me pout, a lot. And worry. Camera on the EG 0,0 garage, me watching every movement even more intensely than normal, Rins sat there ready, Alex – other Alex – not. I frowned at the screen, trying to contain and rationalise my disappointment, knowing the feeling all too well by now, and then jumped three feet in the air as the phone rang. _Oh Alex. Everyone in your garage is going to hate me._ Knowing that last minute faith-repaid feeling too well, too.

“Hello! God this is leaving it late!”

_“Sorry I know…first chance and last chance I had. Be quick..”_

_Smirking, definitely smirking._ “Ok, good luck. And be careful. Please?”

_“Always. Are you watching?”_

“YES.”

_“The camera’s on us isn’t it?”_

“Yes.”

_“Ok watch the back left of the garage closely…”_

The words stopped and I stared at the TV before Alex’s face appeared in the background and grinned, something that looked suspiciously like… - _no he didn’t_ \- popping back out of sight before he carried on. 

_“See me?”_

“Did you just blow me a kiss?”

_“Yeah, I did. Getting bored of pretending I don’t want to.”_

_So the calm and controlled you fades a bit once you’re wearing leather._ “Not complaining. Be safe.” _Because I don’t think I’d recover if you weren’t._

_“I will. Livi?”_

I realised I hadn’t heard him say my name since I’d told him what it was and found my stomach do a full somersault, all the times I’d said _Alex? Alex? Alex?_ ringing in my ears, wondering if it did the same to him. _Yes._ “Yes?”

_“Keep watching. Bye bye.”_

I said my bye and then watched as he walked into the garage, phone gone, and sat on the chair. _There’s a few irritated faces there._ I could imagine the conversation - _Who are you calling? The girl from the lift! WHAT?! Stop that- NO!_ and smiled to myself as I kept my eyes on him and he sat as he usually did, eyes round and wide, staring up, before he then did the one thing he _never does_.

_Bet you wouldn’t dare wink at me in person._

I marvelled at how he knew he was winking at me and I knew he was winking at me, but no other person in the entire world had any idea why Alex Marquez had suddenly decided to notice the camera.

_But I do. And that’s enough._

Livi: _;)_

Both practice sessions went well, he called again after FP2, I lost my mind about how normal it all seemed, and then actually got some sleep. Before he called again before FP3, this time with time to spare, and then qualified on the front row, me feeling slightly better about obviously not being a distraction.

And then another late night phone call skirting around the _God I can hear it in your voice and I wish I was there too._

And in between, another _date?_ with Jordi. With all the same feelings as before: not many of them.

_We need to talk in Brno._

_Hmm?_

_We need to talk in Brno…_

*

“Something weird’s going on.” Marc jumped slightly as he realised where he was and who it was going _eh?_ next to him. Cough. “Sorry. My brother. He’s being weird.”

“Weird?”

“Weird. Like...suddenly obsessed with his phone. More than normal. Secretive. Quiet. Goes to his room early…I mean, I know he can’t drink here, but-“

“Right. Sounds like an obvious problem.”

_Small man, big knowledge._ “Does it?”

“Yeah. Sounds like he’s met someone.”

“What?!” Marc finally turned to his teammate properly and felt his mouth drop open. “Alex?!”

“Yeah…” _Why is that so crazy?_ “Don’t you think?”

“Well…pfff. I don’t know! Alex?!”

“Your brother must have…” _Oh how do I say this?_ “…experience, right?” Dani watched him turn purple and chuckled to himself. _Yup I’m asking that._

“Y-Yes!”

_Aw you really are close. You’re blushing on his behalf._ “So…?”

“But…not like, a girlfriend. Just…a few nights, when…he’s disappeared…you know. Not…a _girlfriend_. I don’t think?!”

“Well maybe he met someone he likes more than that.”

“But…how?”

“What do you mean how? Have you seen him?!” Dani grinned at the look on Marc’s face, caught between _yeah I know_ and _excuse me I’m still prettier_.

“I mean, he’s been at home. With me. Even then, he was already weird.”

“Ok. Well…when did it start?”

“Hmmm…” Marc tried to rewind slowly enough through the past week to not miss it, eyes widening and turning to his teammate to whack him on the arm in realisation, Dani wincing and scowling at that. “Sorry. But I think it started when he got stuck in that lift.”

“What?!”

“Oh, yeah. He got stuck in a lift last week, for like…6 hours.” 

“Alone?”

Marc’s mind rolled over the exact words, smile spreading across his face. _Good company._ “No.”

*

“Ok, feeling good?”

_“I was too nervous but now I feel better talking to you.”_

“Aww. Well I’m glad. You know what I’m going to say..?”

_“Jack. Fucking. Miller.”_

“Yup.” I laughed as he did and took a deep breath. “Be careful.”

_“Always.”_

“But really.”

_“Really.”_

“Ok enough with the…” I trailed off and bit my lip, shrugging and then ploughing on. “Teenager phone call. Sorry…”

_“Pfff!”_ There was a pause obviously designed for effect before the brattiest Alex Marquez I’d yet heard. _“Oh my God I can’t believe you said that.”_

“Don’t!”

_“But it’s just SO UNFAIR. GOD.”_

I giggled slightly at first, then he giggle replied, and then eventually I was making noises I really didn’t want him to hear, pressure of worrying about the race making me slightly over the top.

“Ok _baby_. I’m sorry. Have a good one.”

_“Ok _babe_. I’ll try. Bye bye.”_

“Bye.”

_Well, I walked straight into that one._

*

“Really though. I mean…the chances of being stuck in a lift with someone a similar age, the opposite gender, that you find attractive, that finds you attractive…that is interesting and interested in you…they’re not good odds.”

“Well if that’s the only possibility, then maybe odds don’t matter and it must be.”

“Hmmm.”

“You know he’s 18, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So it’s completely normal.”

“Hmm.”

“Also…” Dani turned back as he was about to head off to the bathroom. “Opposite gender. Is that a presumption or a fact?”

_WHAT._ “Eh?”

“Just saying. Could be another reason why he’s not telling you?”

“He’d tell me.”

“But he hasn’t.”

“But he would tell me that.”

“Would he?”

Marc glared at his teammate in the nicest way possible, taking a few seconds to actually consider that, and then nodded. “Yeah. He knows it would be fine.”

“Good.” Dani seemed weirdly proud of that response and finally walked off, shooting Marc a Vale-esque wave behind his back before turning the corner.

_Doesn’t he? He’d know that?_

*

“Ok. We need to talk.”

Alex had opened the door smiling before he groaned at the very business-like seriousness in his brother’s face, coupled with the tipsiness in the rest of him. “Oh, do we?”

“Yes. Let me in.” Marc stuck on a fake moustache and pulled out a tiny plastic gun, Alex no idea where those props had come from but laughing despite himself. _You won’t break me. But points for trying._

“Hmmm. Ok.” He kicked the door open to let him in and laughed as Marc dived straight for his phone on the bed, finding it locked, trying the code he knew, finding that not working and growling in frustration.

“Fuck I thought that would work.” He blew the tache free with a blast of breath and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at his brother as Alex took the phone back. “Just pleasseeee tell me what’s going on?”

_Pleeaasseee._ “Your puppy dog eyes don’t work on me.”

He raised the gun and pointed it at Alex’s head before eventually just throwing it across the room at him and folding his arms. 

“Well I’m not leaving until you convince me that you’ve told me the truth.”

The younger looked back at him, smirk affectionate but also incredibly frustrated, and nodded, trying to stay serious. 

“Ok, fine. Bye...” 

And then walked out, laughing all the way down the corridor at the _arrgghhhhhhh!!!!_ echoing out his room, pulling out his phone and checking he _hadn’t_ actually managed to unlock it, bracing himself as the footsteps started to chase him down, hand eventually grabbing him to a stop.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“You know what, ok? What’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on.”

“Liar. Dani thinks you met someone.”

_DANI THINKS THAT?!_ He felt himself start to turn slightly green at that and took a few breaths. “You talked to _DANI_ about this?!”

“Er…yeah. Sorry. By accident…” _Ooopps._

“By accident.”

“Sorry…”

“ARGH.” It didn’t matter how many races and Championships his brother won, Alex was a Pedrosa fan. And an embarrassed one.

_Don’t tell him about the virginity question._ Marc tried to hide that from his face with a smile, deciding the other half of the conversation would be more than distracting enough. “Ok well…Dani thought you might have met a guy. And that you’re gay? And that’s maybe why you didn’t want to tell me…”

“WHAT.” The younger brother repeated the same face as before but much, much worse, fists balled by his sides. “WHY WERE YOU DISCUSSING MY SEXUALITY WITH DANI PEDROSA.”

_Ok so this definitely didn’t help._ “Bec-“

“IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION.” Alex made it back into his room and shut the door before his brother could follow, collapsing down on the bed and just _groaning_ , answering every 2nd or 3rd knock with a quiet _fuck off!_ for what felt like hours, until finally feeling calm enough to walk back over to it and peer outside.

And see Dani.

_WHAT THE FUCK._

He took a few deep breaths before opening it, smile wide and slightly faked, glance left and right looking for his now-AWOL brother, eyes eventually resting on an amused Pedrosa. "Dani! Hi."

"Hi."

"Have I been telling you to fuck off?" _Cringe._

"A couple of times."

_ARGGH._ "Sorry..."

"I'm not even going to ask and assume you thought I was Marc?"

Alex laughed at that and nodded, holding the door open to let him in. "Sorry. What's up?"

"Nothing. Just curious what's going on. Thought I might be able to help...?"

_Is this the part where you come out and profess your love for my brother?_ "Help?" _ARGH._

"I think I might have made things a bit worse...teasing Marc about you maybe having a boyfriend..."

_Oh please not a Pedrosa dad-chat. Please._ "I don't-"

"It's ok. You can-"

_A Pedrosa dad-chat. Fantastic._


	9. Mariposas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you ♥ 
> 
> Hope you like it. Let me know?? :) ♥
> 
> Let's jump off the cliff ;) ...

I didn’t remember _ever_ having been as nervously excited as this. The first three days of the week had been pretty fun – coffee shops in Vienna and history and ‘New Europe’ in Bratislava – but ultimately my brain was on tunnel vision for Thursday morning, because Alex had changed his plans around slightly and was now arriving to Vienna airport at 835am from El Prat. _And I don’t want to know how many questions you had to answer to change that._

After surviving the chat with Dani, that I’d been recounted in perfect, heart-warming but cringey detail, he’d eventually just told Marc this: _I have met someone, and I don’t want that to be a public thing. And I don’t want to talk about it, because I’m really enjoying having something a bit private. Ok?_ And shockingly, maybe hearing the tone and being told by Julia that it was understandable and had nothing to do with _but he can tell me everything_ , he’d actually slightly accepted that. So, according to Alex, there was slight teasing but nothing too terrible. And the _question question question_ had been replaced by _cheeky look cheeky look cheeky look_. Which was apparently better, because at least it was quiet. I was starting to understand that _loud_ and Alex didn’t always go together as well as _loud_ and Marc seemed to. And that was ok with me.

So I stood there, waiting in an airport I didn’t really know, waiting for someone that my common sense told me I didn’t really know either, knowing I’d made too much effort on my hair and clothes, knowing I looked even older than I was because of it, knowing he’d changed around the whole day just for a few hours of anonymous tourism with me, knowing it was daylight outside and wondering how that would change the mood of the past week, mostly having been late night but clean phone calls, and my heart was hammering in my chest. And the plane landed, and people started to filter through, and then finally he appeared, and all the bad nerves melted, replaced by good ones. _Mariposas._

_Oh God._

However much effort I’d made, he looked like he’d come from a photoshoot. And that’s almost what it felt like; watching him walk towards me like it was a runway, wondering what was going to happen when he got there. And what happened is that he locked his eyes on mine, still walking, smirking but in the best way, then looked me up and down and wiggled his eyebrows, before finding himself there, looking down at me, still smiling, height difference not that big but making his eyes seem even wider and deeper and more drownable, and something in his face changed as he saw mine, and the same bad nerves disappeared, and I felt an arm wrap around me and hand rest in the small of my back, nose catching that same hint of what I had in the lift, memory overwhelming, and he smiled into a chaste, brief but very real kiss, both of us briefly pausing the moment, eyes closed, before pulling away and taking a breath each. 

“Hey.”

 _I fucking hate you, you beautiful, beautiful whatever you are._ I tried to catch my breath from the lightning bolt of that, kiss and thought, lips tingling, starting to grin like an idiot and staring back up at him. _You’re too lethal._ “Oh, hey. Just casually…‘hey’...”

He smiled at that and nodded, eyes flicking between my eyes and mouth, hands now properly around my waist, making no secret at all of anything whatsoever. “Did the kiss not elaborate for me?”

I saw the cliff a split second before it got there, said a prayer, and then jumped off. “Maybe it did.” _Did the kiss not elaborate for me. Wow._

“Good.” His fingers brushed my hips as he took his hands back, hoisting his bag onto his shoulder and giving me no choice about the hand-holding, setting off towards the café close to us and squeezing my hand as I followed. “I need a coffee before we do anything, ok?”

“More than.”

He smiled at the guy behind the counter and ordered me a double espresso and one for himself, me wondering how he’d known that but then remembering I’d maybe told him, but still impressed that information had been retained, and then let go of my hand to pay and hand me mine, taking his after and then nodding towards the doors. “Drink and get moving? I don’t have long.”

 _I know. I really know._ “Perfect. Taxi?”

“Perfect. Where to?”

“Heldenplatz. We’ll start there.”

He nodded and followed me outside to the taxi rank, waiting, sipping, feeling my eyes on his face and then turning back to me, smiling, squinting slightly in the sun. “What?!”

 _Nothing. Nothing._ “Nothing.”

“Don’t believe you.”

“Well maybe one day I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. But not now.”

“Mystery. Ok.” He necked the rest of the coffee and somehow managed to throw the cup into the bin at long range, smiling back down at me and taking a step forward so I was once again surrounded by an attack on my senses from all sides. “One day you’ll tell me?”

“Yep. Ok?”

“Fine with me.” Those eyes doing that dance between mine and my lips. “That’s fine.”

I frowned slightly and raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought that would be more difficult.”

“Well…” He brushed some hair away from my face and his fingers skimmed my skin as he put it gently behind my ear, noticing the shiver I couldn’t avoid, eyes flashing with something as he did, still smiling, or smirking, or a combination, something knowing in it, content with the answer. “You say one day.”

“You don’t seem the patient type.”

“I’m not.” His eyes left mine and glanced at the next taxi, which was going to be ours, before fixing back on me. “But one day implies there’ll be one. So I’ll take that.” He smiled at the combination of bliss and horror on my face and then held the door for me to get in, which I did, moving over to let him join me, finding myself in exactly the same position I had been in the last fifteen minutes of our captivity: kiss into my hair, arm around my shoulders, nose assaulted by pleasure, fabric of his t shirt on my cheek, before we started moving and he let me go, hand instead on my knee, unconsciously squeezing and looking back at me.

“Glad I came?”

I nodded and smiled, taking a deep breath and looking out the window. “Yes. You?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” _Or absolutely fucking terrible._

We sat there in comfortable silence for a few minutes, now out the airport and on the autobahn headed for the city, before he turned back to me.

“Livi?”

“Yeah?” 

I turned towards him, expecting something very different, and suddenly felt hands in my hair, lips on mine, tongue this time, gentle but very definite, something new and desperate about it, sharing our coffee, then hand back around my waist, pivoting me towards him, every single reservation I might have had just blown out the water, self-restraint killed instantly as he nipped my bottom lip before pulling away, leaving me probably looking like I was stoned out of my mind, panting at him, everything on fire. _God._

He stared back at me for a few seconds, smiling at my reaction and his, then realising I was wearing lipstick and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, seeing the red, still smiling, still something in it I couldn’t unravel, and then sat back straight and put his hand back on my knee. I left it a few seconds, breath gradually going back to normal, and then turned to him and nodded, casual as I could manage. “Well…I agree. You make good points.”

He grinned at that and raised his eyebrows, amused but confused. “What..?”

“Oh, sorry.” I faked the sorry face, some of my personality returned, and then grinned as he caught on. _Yeah, exactly._ “Did the kiss not elaborate for me?”


	10. Teenage Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the responses! ♥
> 
> 26 Kudos = first update of two. Because Dani. ♥

_Teenage dream._ That’s what it was. But instead of that filling me with any sort of negativity, it was just…what it was. Happy people, spending time together. Laughing and joking and me trying to help him understand every word of the English translations in museums, eventually admitting that culture was great but ice cream was better, sitting opposite each other sharing the tallest sundae I’d ever seen. The obligatory cliché as he whacked me with the spoon, lipstick of the morning kissed and eaten off a while ago, vanity gone with it, and that _tongue_ being completely unembarrassed in leaning forwards and circling the end of my nose to grab the little patch of caramel that had been left there. And it wasn’t weird. It wasn’t comfortable, because it was still all too exciting and new, but it wasn’t weird. 

We took a lot of stupid selfies with stupid faces in front of different pretty buildings, and he took a more normal one of just himself for twitter, me leaning forward to whack his admittedly-by-me ruffled and abused hair down, patting the adorable expression of _hey get off_ and _ooh hello_ off his cheek as he turned his head and kissed my palm before it could escape. The whole 5 hours were spent full of the smallest gestures that said the biggest things, from an _eek!_ shared as someone crazy looking walked past us, to the hand that had now found a permanent residence on the small of my back whenever we stopped to look at anything or read anything, and this time under the fabric of the t shirt, thumb brushing over the skin unconsciously, creating shivers that he felt and confirmed by pulling me in a bit closer.

He had to be at the track by 530pm, which meant we had to leave at about 330, so we went and picked up my bags from my hotel at 3 and then encountered the first person who recognised him, in the hire car office, but she didn’t say anything definite, we both looked at each other and logged it and breathed a sigh of relief, and she didn’t have it confirmed, because it was my licence, my passport, and my contract.

I had a hotel very near the track for the 4 nights of the race weekend, my flight back home from Vienna on Monday afternoon, and I hadn’t asked or mentioned anything about it both for my own sanity and for his. That was a whole different dam that I didn’t want to be responsible for bursting, aware that I was probably less nervous about that prospect than he was. _Eighteen._ So we drove, and he was a surprisingly nervous passenger at first, too, explaining that away with tales of driving with Marc and the constant terror of that, me thinking how strange it was how quickly ‘Marc’ had changed from this guy who cut the cable, yes accidentally but grr, of my favourite rider in Aragón to the brother of someone who was already a part of my life that I considered important. _And apparently a fan of airplane drooling and fake moustaches. Face to face with big brother for the first time is going to be interesting._

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.” He cracked one eye open, dozing after he’d calmed into the knowledge that I drove like a sensible person, and pursed his lips, studying me. “What?”

“Are…I don’t know. Are you going to tell your family? Or anyone?”

“About you?”

I went slightly red and coughed. “Yeah.”

“Oh, I see.” He grinned and stretched, fully awake again with no horn needed, and shifted slightly in the seat. “Now there’s something to tell them, is there? Hmm? _Friend?"_

I smiled at that, knowing the point would have to be conceded, and then decided I’d go the opposite way to how he probably expected. _Because it’s too late. It was too late when he rearranged a whole flight for 4 hours of fluffy nothing._ “Yeah, there’s something to tell. I’d appreciate it if I was the only one you’d ice-cream kiss from now on. K?”

He’d been half way through a swig of water when I’d said it, and spluttered back into the bottle, eyes wide, gasping. “What?!!”

_Good what or bad what._ I cringed and risked a glance in his direction, overwhelming expression definitely one of surprised glee and amping up my heart rate further. “What?” _Playing it cool. For once winning that even in the face of Alex Marquez: garage ice queen._

“What do you mean, _what_?!” He motioned at me, disbelieving, and then narrowed his eyes at me, smiling, as my exterior started to crack.

“I mean…what?” _Innocent face, breathe..._

“WHAT?!!” 

“SHUT UP, IDIOT.” I grinned, went slightly red and pinched his knee, earning a yelp and a light smack on my own. “Stop saying ‘what’ and respond to the actual thing.”

“The thing…?”

“The THING…”

“And _I’m_ the idiot.” He grinned at me, visible out the corner of my eye, and then I saw him nodding. “Ok, I’ll respond to the _thing_. But first can we stop at this service station please?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not being a dick. Stop at the services.”

I looked at him in a sort of _oooh authoritative, ok then_ and smiled as we pulled into the car park and I put the hand brake on, wondering whether the break was for talking, weeing or eating and getting an answer fairly quickly.

“Ok. Now get out the car.”

I did as I was told, shutting the driver’s side door and leaning against it as he got out the other side and walked round the back towards me, some of the excitement from what I’d said, or admitted, still shining in his eyes, before he was close, as close as before, maybe an inch and a half between us, staring down at me, half smile, some nerves, more than before, eyes wide and clear and saying much more than he’d probably ever comfortably be able to enunciate with his mouth. “Respond to the thing?”

“Yeah.” I narrowed my eyes and waited, far too close together for it to be anything other than _when_ , not _if._ “The thing.”

“Ok. Well…sounds alright to me, I guess.” He smiled as I did and let himself commit to the show with a fakely-unbothered shrug before going serious again and staring at me, unflinching, smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “But…let me elaborate.”

My eyes were closed before his lips met mine, warm and soft and incredibly gentle at first, much more thought behind it than before, hands slowly going round my waist and up, under my T shirt, crotch and torso pressed against me, leaning us back against the car, fingers splayed over the skin of my back like they knew every inch of it already, tongue playing with mine, teasing, intensity increasing as he felt me respond, my hands doing the same, welding us together, his feet shuffling forward slightly to make us even closer, steadying us against the hot metal and glass of the car as everything else was forgotten. _Elaborate. Fuck._ He growled into my mouth slightly as I nipped his lip, fingers digging into my back, gentleness fading fast, noises definitely not car-park friendly as I dared to move one hand lower and just under the waistband of his jeans, that triggering a kind of _huh_ noise that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up until he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine, both of us breathless. 

And I thought _ok, now we get back in the car_ , but instead, he waited a few seconds, and maybe reading my mind from earlier about the hotel room and bursting the dam and his age and possible nervousness, he smiled at me, eyebrow raised, and then moved a kiss from lips to jawline to neck, hitting, somehow, the one point on me that made me absolutely insane. But he seemed to know that and aim for it, felt the wave of reaction go through me, and then went back to looking down at me, as if challenging me to tell him he hadn’t proved a point.

_You proved a point._ “H-How.”

He laughed slightly at that and grinned, way too self-satisfied for it to be anything other than slightly annoying and very adorable, and then shrugged. “We’ve kissed a few times now.”

“Yeah.”

“In the taxi, when I put my hand on your neck, I felt it. Same as this.” I braced for whatever it was going to be before I felt his had find its way back under my T shirt and his thumb gently elicited another wave of _oohhhhhhh_. “I pay attention.”

_OH DO YOU._ “Hmm.” 

“Hmm?”

I coughed and went slightly red, looking round wondering if anyone was on the way to arrest us, before nodding and shrugging in concession, smiling. “Ok.”

“Ok…”

“Yeah.” _Come on, you can’t be beaten by a rookie. At least, not without a fight._ I kissed him again, distraction enough to allow me to find that same spot that had created the _huh_ before, and smiled as it happened again. _I pay attention too. And this is so very, so so very dangerous._ “Ok. Me too.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah. _Huh._ ” Smirk.

“Ok.” _STILL not intimidated. FUCK._ “Guess this is going to be a fun weekend, then…” He grinned and then walked back round to the passenger side and got in, waiting for me to do the same as I looked up at the sky, bit my lip and took a deep breath, then acquiesced and got back in. _FUCK. WE ARE GOING TO._

Nobody said anything for another few miles, me going between bliss at everything and guilt at not having told him about _that_ , until eventually he turned to me and studied me driving for too long for me to not crack and turn and look at him. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, what?” I nudged his knee with my hand and waited.

“Oh I’ll tell you.” He settled back down into the seat and grinned, smug as fuck, before shooting back the obvious answer that I’d again walked straight into, eyes wide. “ _One day_.”


	11. Big Brother Is Watching You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I always change the spelling of hoodie/hoody every five minutes...which one's actually right?!
> 
> ♥

Even after a day AWOL, he insisted on dinner with me, not in public because _because_ , but room service at the hotel, in my room. And I’d dropped a lot of hints that it was going to be _just_ dinner, and he still didn’t seem to be more interested in sex than talking to me and spending time with me, so I organised it in advance and made way too much effort, again, on hair and clothes and everything, before remembering how I’d felt in the airport and at least changing my outfit. Because when I’d dropped him off at the track, EG 0,0 communications guy waiting for him, he’d left his hoodie and ducked his head back in to steal a kiss, which was gratefully received and slightly judged by the guy waiting, and said that it was mine. 

_“It’s the one from the lift. That you sat on.”_

_“I know. Are you being romantic or possessive?”_

_He shrugged slightly, forearm muscle deliciously flexed in front of me when he was propping himself up, and then grinned. “Both. Ok?”_

_“Ok.”_

_“Ok…”_

_“Ok. Now fuck off and do your job.”_

For that I got an even wider grin and a little salute as he walked away, turning back to look as they went round a corner, and then I finally relaxed into the seat and almost screamed at the sky.

_Done. Way too fucking late, now._

I turned around, nodded my thanks at the security guys who let me back out, and pulled into the car park of the hotel, which was 3 minutes drive away, trying to breathe. Then checked-in, pre-ordered the food, got ready, and then changed back into sensible clothes. Alex Marquez’s very definitely not-sold-to-the-public hoodie, obvious team wear, obviously not new, little hole in the end of a sleeve, slightly faded. Smelling fantastic. _Not that I’ve spent 5 minutes sat on the bed, smelling it. Because that would be weird._ I contemplated _just_ wearing the hoodie and underwear, he was tall enough to mean there was enough fabric to get away with that, but then thought maybe that was too whore-ish, despite how vividly I could imagine the burning eyes that would enjoy that view a lot, and pulled on black jeans. Va-va-voom hair, va-va-voom make-up, very ordinary clothes. It was a combo that made me feel comfortable and un-self conscious, so I went with it and then went down to the bar. _Jeans useful for the public, too._

The hotel was close to the track, but I hadn’t really considered that in terms of who would or might also be there. So I opened my laptop, transferred the photos from the day, wrote some notes to help me write a decent piece once my brain could focus again _which will be never_ , and then went through them. The good ones, aka the ones of us being stupid. _We look so happy._ That kept echoing round my brain. Although Alex often looked pretty happy, the difference in me was weird to look at. Usually I looked happy in photos, yes, but always _aware_ that it was a photo. Always the one trying to remember to pull in my cheeks slightly, make sure my hair was right…but in these, I obviously hadn’t given a shit. And consequently, they were photos of us, not photos featuring us. I tried to stay away from the sentimentality a bit longer before eventually giving in and setting one as my phone lock screen, checking the time and realising I was only half an hour away from dinner. So I went outside to call Bea, needing that to keep me somehow still sane, and bummed a cigarette from a guy in a Repsol Honda shirt, _still_ not thinking that through as to what it meant, and dialled her number. She answered, we talked, the cigarette guy realised I was Spanish and tried to pretend he wasn’t listening in, me careful to not mention any names, and then the next time I turned round I felt myself freeze and go very, very quiet. 

_FUCK._

Even if you’re not a superfan, Santi Hernandez is an easy guy to recognise. And Santi Hernandez is also a heavy smoker, and was now happily smoking away and chatting to the guy who seemed happy to have a reason to still be there keeping some sort of eye on me. I realised, from what I’d said already, that he’d probably figured I was there for the race, and knew a rider, and I didn’t think about the hoodie at all, until another figure walked out, grinning. And then I looked down at myself and _panicked._

_FUCK FUCK FUCK._

I zoned back in to Bea’s voice yelling at me to keep talking and tried to, trying to figure out an under-the-radar way of explaining the situation, eventually realising that would be impossible in Spanish and switching to French. _I’m glad we both did a foreign language degree. And I’m glad this isn’t the FIA._ I said enough to explain the immediate problem – Santi and Marc, although not by name, and hoodie – and she just _laughed._ She just laughed, or more giggled, and I went back into Spanish to tell her to shut the fuck up, smiling but almost unwillingly, realising the mistake as the emotions had bubbled over into the volume of my voice, and the three Repsol guys stopped and slowly pivoted towards me, staring.

_FUCK FUCK FUCK._

I ended up with full-on Senior Marquez eye contact, staring at him, him staring at me, no one saying anything, the faintest hint of Catalan cackling coming from my phone as she was still going. _Fuck._ I rationalised maybe they won’t figure it out, maybe I just seem crazy, maybe the language offended them, still staring at Marc, before I saw the flash as he put everything together, eyes flicking to the sleeve of the hoodie I was wearing, hand to my ear to hold the phone and therefore sleeve-hole visible and confirming for the older Marquez what he’d suspected. His eyes went wide and mouth dropped open.

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck._

I said my tense and quick goodbye to Bea and cancelled the call, complete silence now deafening, waiting for something or someone to happen. Marc, as was maybe to be expected, took the initiative. “Oh my God.”

_Well, at least he spoke first._ I thought back to my earlier thought of the day, _face to face with big brother is going to be interesting_ , and cursed the beautiful irony. “Hmm?”

“You!”

“W-What?” I tried to go for innocence before realising that normal fans probably wouldn’t be stood there looking quite so guilty, cursing the obvious nerves in my voice. _Although you are a world champion, bitch, so you must be used to it._

“That’s my brother’s hoodie.” The older Marquez grinned and took a couple of steps towards me. “There’s a hole in the sleeve.”

“It’s my hoodie. And yes there is.” _That’s technically true now, right?_

“So he gave you the hoodie?” 

_DIdn’t buy that, then. Fantastic._ “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” _Just talk your way out. It will be fine._

Marc narrowed his eyes slightly, my tone obviously reasonably convincing, and I watched the doubt wage war on the _I’m so sure_ of a moment before. “Really...”

“Really.” I nodded, eyes wide and innocent, realising I’d kind of stolen that expression from his brother, that making me ever-so-slightly smile and turning the internal debate in Marc back in favour of being sure. _Fuck._ “So you’re with the team, then? If you have that hoodie. _Coincidentally_ with the same hole as my brother’s...”

My eyes flicked from Marc to cigarette guy to Santi and back before I tried to shrug, nonchalant, suddenly aware of how close we were actually stood, then froze, again, as my phone went. My phone; on silent, not too bad, my phone; that was still in my hand. My phone; that was in my hand, close to Marc, visible to Marc, and lit up like a Christmas tree after receiving a text. My phone, with a picture of me and Alex lit up like a Christmas tree on the lockscreen, right in Marc’s face. _Surrender. Surrender?_ I kept staring at him as the eye narrowing detective look changed into a cheeky, maybe slightly red-faced smile, confident now, of course, that he was right, eyes taking me in and silently judging me. In a good way, not a judgemental one, but still making me quake.

“Ok.” I took a deep breath and nodded. _Surrender._ “Yes, it’s me.”

The slightly cocky MotoGP champion in front of me suddenly dissolved into a slightly-nervous Spaniard as he had it confirmed, self-conscious and somehow seemingly intinidated by _me_ , looking down at my hand as I held it out in introduction. I could see Santi very much enjoying witnessing this from behind him, grinning through his beard like the world's most mischievous teddy bear, and took another deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Olivia. Pleased to meet you."


	12. Espíritu Santi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironically for chapter 12, not much Alex.. ;)
> 
> Thank you SO SO much for everything so far! ♥ hope you still like it? Let me know?!

“Say _hello_ , Marc.”

He blushed deep red at that, sending Santi an extremely embarrassed glare that the older man seemed to revel in, but it did give him the necessary kick to actually speak to me. “H-hi.” His hand closed around mine, eyes boring into mine as he shook it. “Nice to meet you.”

 _Oh my God. YOU are NERVOUS?!_ “Y-you too…” _Sleep well on the plane?_ I tried to push that image out of my head and concentrate on breathing normally, oxygen important for sense, everything suddenly real now it was _Marc Marquez_ staring back at me. Not because he was a MotoGP World Champion, because he was Alex’s brother. And Alex wasn't there.

He took his hand back and put his hands in his pockets, still nervous, still staring, a few awkward seconds passing, the two guys behind us sharing a look, before he said that word. 

“So…”

That broke the ice, again, like it had before. The reflection of the moment from the lift, the first word Alex had ever said to me, and everything that had got us into, the subtle differences between them and overwhelming similarities making me giggle like an idiot, going red as I did and leaving him turning back to Santi with a face I imagined said _what the fuck has she taken?_

“Sorry.” I coughed and smiled at him, I hoped warmly and soothingly, not wanting to come across as completely insane, and then took a deep breath to explain. “It’s just…that’s the first thing Alex said to me. With the same face.”

“Oh.” Marc blushed again slightly and then grinned, the smile coming back at me now warm and genuine, liking the fact I’d explained and that I wasn’t laughing _at_ him, and nodded. “In the lift?”

“In the lift.”

“KNEW IT!” He turned back to Santi and pointed at me, grinning. “Eh?” 

The older man smiled at him, happy he was so proud of himself but not terribly impressed, and the two onlookers both moved a bit closer, conscious that the one-on-one of our conversation was a bit awkward. _Thank you Saint Santi._ “Impressive detective work.”

“I heard about that.” I smiled at the _oh fuck what has he told you_ face as Marc turned back to me. “I think the moustache made all the difference…”

“Oh God. What else has he told you?!”

I laughed at that and shrugged, teasing coming as naturally as it did with his brother, taking a second to try and judge the mood before taking the plunge. “Well I’m not completely sure but I think I’m a girl?” I looked down at my crotch and then back up at him with an _eek_ face, smiling smugly at the realisation and nodding. _Yes. Everything. Go purple._ “But maybe it would be best to check with Private Investigator Pedrosa...?”

The Honda rider turned even more purple _again_ at that, mouth open and voice stolen, Santi and the other guy now in fits of giggles, before he bit his lip, very amused but extremely embarrassed all at once. “Well…” He trailed off and motioned in front of himself with his hands, the gestures saying absolutely nothing at all but having nothing else to try and say instead. “Fuck!”

 _Not yet. Haha._ “Sorry I couldn’t resist.”

“Maybe I deserved it…”

“Maybe?” I sent him a look that I hoped said _you know you gave him enough shit_ , wondering if he’d read that, and then feeling a little shiver as he completely did.

“Ok yeah I deserved that. I was maybe a bit too…inquisitive…”

“Inquisitive...” I nodded and narrowed my eyes as I accepted another smoke from silent Repsol man, smiling back at him, leaning in for the light. “That’s not really the word.”

“Maybe not.” The Honda rider shrugged at me in a way I could only describe as _bashful_ and then turned back to Santi, nodding his head at me. “Drink?”

Evil Teddy Bear, enjoying the discomfort far too much, shrugged innocently. “Well why don’t you ask her?” 

“Ok. People.” Marc sighed and hung his head for a second before holding out his hands as though he was steadying himself on dry land for the first time. “How about we all leave me alone, stop purposefully making this even more awkward, and go and get a drink.” He seemed to wince before turning back to me, not sure what expression he was expecting, changing into a smile as he saw mine and raising his eyebrows. “Olivia...?”

“Sure. That sounds good. But I do have a dinner date with your brother in 20 minutes.” I blew the smoke away from us and flicked some ash from the end of my cigarette before remembering the text message that had given everything away and realising it might be Alex. “Actually let me check this message…”

Alex: _So so sorry but I’m going to be late. Like…an hour late :( … can you give me a quick call? Xxx [kisses aren’t optional anymore :P]_

“It’s your brother.” I looked at Marc and smiled at the flash of something in his eyes as I mentioned him, then shrugged. “He’s asking me to call him. Give me a second?”

They all nodded at me, seemingly incredulous, and I took a few steps away, still able to be overheard but at least pretending it was a bit private, and called him. “Hey. Sorry it took a minute.”

_“Don’t worry, I thought you were mad.”_

“No, not mad? Why would I be mad?”

_“Because I’m late..?”_

“Yeah, but you’re a Moto3 rider on a race weekend. If I saw you for five minutes that would be impressive.”

_“Oh. Ok…good! Well…I lied. Hour and a half…”_

“Don’t sound so nervous it’s still fine. I’ll rearrange the food now. Ok?”

_“Perfect. Like you. See you sooooon.”_

“You will, and no I’m not, but also…have you got one more second?”

_“Always.”_

“Ok well…” I turned back to Marc and smiled at him, staring again. “Your brother figured out who I was because I’m wearing your hoodie.”

There was a long groan and a possibly audible face-palm before a stressed, _“Right…”_ echoed down the phone, me holding my breath, Alex groaning again as I smiled at Marc’s knowing face, still staring at me. _Yeah you know he groaned._

“Sorry baby.” 

Santi and Marc turned to each other and mouthed ‘baby’ with wide, gleeful eyes.

_“Is it bad? Is he there right now?”_

“Not too bad.” I grinned again and took a drag on the cigarette, loving the two Marquez reactions almost side by side. “And yeah he is here right now.”

_“Tell him I’ll genuinely kill him if he does anything bad. Anything at all.”_

“Ok, hang on.” I put my hand over the mic and leaned towards the other three, hissing as though I was actually trying to keep it a secret. “Alex says he will genuinely kill you if you do anything bad. Anything at all.”

Marc grinned and shrugged. “Ok. Noted. He’d have to catch me first, though…”

“He says you’d have to catch him first...”

_“Tell him to fuck off.”_

“You can’t expect me to say that to someone I just met…”

_“Say it. Or I will run over there right now and find that spot on your neck-“_

“OK. Shhh!” I cringed slightly, grinning, and turned back to Marc. “Fuck off.”

The older brother’s mouth fell open again, eyes wide but seriously enjoying the fact that I had a sense of humour, before yelling back loud enough for Alex to hear. “ALEX MARQUEZ, WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT!”

 _“I heard that. Pfff. GOD I did not want this to happen yet. Sorry…”_ Sigh. _“I just liked having you all to myself.”_

“You still have me all to yourself, don’t worry.” More Marc and Santi expressions.

_“Hmm.”_

“ _All._ Promise.”

There was a soft chuckle down the line before the wonderfully audible smirk in the response really got me. _“Oh really?”_

“Yeah. _Really._ ” And yet more Marc and Santi expressions.

 _“Ok well…don’t say that to me right now because I have to look at Alex for another hour and a half.”_ There was a muffled thump before an ‘ow’ and a laugh. _“But that sounds like a very good outcome. Maybe I should have told him straightaway.”_

“Nah I liked it too.” I smiled at Marc, who was still studying me in a mixture of amusement, friendliness and wariness, and sighed. “I thought you might freak out.”

_“Me?”_

“Fair point. Ok I’ll see you in a bit. Go and be busy.”

_“Ok. But I think you forgot something?”_

It took me a second to get it before I felt myself go bright red and hang my head slightly, conscious of the audience. “Kisses?”

_“Yeah. Jeje. Besitos! Byeeeee…..”_

“Bye.” I cancelled the call and turned round to check the damage, knowing I was grinning too much, finding a faintly amused silent Repsol man, a very amused but in a kind of Dad-way Santi, and a slightly red and nervous Marc. “Ok…drink?”

“Drink.” Santi, seemingly my ally from the start, felt the mood perfectly and wheeled Marc around and back towards the door, pushing him in front and falling into step with me following, cringing internally but feeling slightly better as I got another message.

Alex: _Don’t worry. If I like you, he’ll like you. ♥ xxx_

Alex: _And in case you didn’t realise, I really fucking like you ;) xxx_

I found myself in step with the Teddy Bear and blushed as he looked at me and gave me an all-too-knowing smile, eyes narrowed. "24?"

 _Ah, yeah. That whole age thing._ Cough. "Er...26..." _Please don't arrest me._

He made a kind of _comme ci comme ça_ face and then cracked into a grin. "Well I'm very impressed."

"Impressed?"

He laughed slightly and nodded towards Marc. "Well, _he_ was intimidated...and he's a 21 year old World Champion...and I'm slightly intimidated."

"Ah. I see." I shrugged and smiled, glad to not have been judged, wondering how cheeky was too cheeky and then going for it. "Well. Alex is not. _Believe me_ , I've tried..."

He laughed and held the door back into the bar for open for me, nodding and the faintest hint of red on his cheeks. "Stop there, please."

"Yes I've had to say that." _I need to be gagged._ Then it was my turn to go red. _WHY, BRAIN. WHY._

"Ok." Another classic Repsol Honda laugh. " _Please!_ "

We all sat down round a table and I ended up, as I'd maybe expected, straight opposite Marc, eyes still ticking over something as he tried to figure me out. _Like an old-person zoo. Just ask, please..?_ He seemed to realise my nerves and smiled, doing just as I'd urged.

"Can I, er...ask you a question?"

I nodded and gulped, knowing what was coming, just throwing it out there as quickly as possible and saying a small prayer. _Please don't call Dani for a dad chat._ "No need." Deep breath. "Twenty six."

And the look on his face...

There were a few seconds silence before he rubbed his hands over his face and laughed, going bright red and leaving me glancing at Santi wondering why, _bad, or good?_ pleading from my eyes. But Marc, to his credit, answered the question himself as he looked down into his drink, cheeks still red, and grinned to himself. 

"Lucky bastard."

_Oh. I see._


	13. Czech Mate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deep breath. ;) ♥ thank you!
> 
> There will be more terrible play-on-words titles in the future, too. Sorry ;) ♥

It got better, to the point where I actually felt calm enough, laughs coming easier, everyone more relaxed, that I could apologise to Marc. Because normally when you meet people you don’t sarcastically blackmail them into laughing and blushing. “Sorry If I was…er…rude? Or mean? Before-“ _When the first thing I said to you made you purple…_

“No, it’s ok. I’m not used to it because people are usually too polite, but it was...refreshing.” He grinned and raised his eyebrows.

_Don't do it, Marquez senior._ “Don’t know if _refreshing_ is what I was going for…I’m just sarcastic. When I’m nervous. Especially when I’m nervous…”

“Nervous?” _The patented cheeky Marquez eyebrow raise._

“Yeah. Nervous. Even despite the fact that I’m a fan of MotoGP and you’re the current World Champion, you’re the most important person to Alex in the world. So it’s pretty important that you don’t hate me.”

He looked back up at me, eyes dark and serious and intense, challenging me to answer, mood changing completely, and then nodded. “You’re serious about him?”

_This is the test moment._ I took a deep breath and started to nod, hoping I was choosing the right words. “It’s all new at the moment…but yes. I don’t want it to stop. So if he doesn’t either, then-“

“I don’t either.”

I went slightly red as I realised who it was who had _finally_ appeared, and what that hint of something on Marc’s face had been caused by. _You._ “Hello.” Still looking at Marc, him looking up at his brother just over my head, satisfied with his deception and my answer. “Finally…”

“Sorry.” I heard the sheepish look and had it reflected on Marc’s face, as though he was actually a mirror for him. “But I’m here now.” And then hands squeezed my shoulders and a kiss hit the top of my head, and Marc suddenly wasn’t a mirror anymore, he was just happy, quietly, taking in the sight, and nodding.

_I think we passed._

Alex reached down and stole a sip of my drink before settling down next to me, hand wrapped around my knee.

_Yeah I think we passed._

*

Because the cat was now out of the bag, we had dinner in the restaurant in plain view of everyone, and had to go through some slight awkwardness as Marc, Santi, loads of other team members and Emilio, who intimidated me completely, were also doing that, albeit quite a distance away. But after referencing the awkwardness for enough minutes we broke it and everything went back to ‘normal’. Even the fact that we had a normal setting was in itself not very normal, but I had my hand held across the table, fingers playing with mine, exploring them, finding out which was the most comfortable. And then dinner was over and the bill was put on my tab, and we were walking out into an ambush. That I was slightly grateful for, because I wasn’t sure where we’d been going. Outside? To my room? Somewhere else? But we ended up in the smoking group again, me realising that neither Marc nor Alex minded too much, and where Santi went Marc often followed, and where me or Marc went Alex often followed, so if I was cut out the scenario those three would still have been there. And it wasn’t awkward. It was pretty chilly, and I was glad of the hoody, despite how weirdly out of place I’d felt in the restaurant, and Alex’s hand was immediately round my waist again, me doing my best to blow the smoke away from his face but him obviously choosing that over no body contact, fingers brushing skin again in the small of my back, Marc noticing, sending me a smile, me replying. _We are passing the test._

After a few minutes the group broke away, and luckily we were left alone outside to have the discussion that was responsible for my heart rate. _Calm. Calm, simple question._ “So…you’re sleeping in your motorhome..?”

“Well I don’t know.” He grinned at me and moved to stand in front, hands round my waist. “Am I?”

_Cheeky cheeky cheeky._ “That’s up to you. I’m not sleeping with you tonight - I mean, sleep, yes. If you want. But nothing else. Because I’m not doing that until we talk about what we need to talk about.” _Because you might run away. And I can’t-_

His face went from cheeky to fully nervous in a flash, big, wide, concerned eyes staring down. “I’m worried about that.”

_Me too. ME TOO._ “Well like I said…it’s not going to affect me. It’s up to you.”

“Well let’s talk about it now, then. Get it over with.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Livi.” He pulled me into a hug and squeezed, lips brushing my hair. “Don’t be so scared. It can’t be that bad.”

“I don’t know if it’s that bad. I don’t know what you’re going to s-“

“Neither do I, but I know that if it’s a problem now it’ll be the same problem every day until we talk about it.”

“Ulterior motives.” The words got lost in the fabric of his new hoody, and he pulled away to stare down, wondering what I’d said, mirroring my nervous smile.

“Eh?”

“Ulterior motives. I just told you basically that I’d sleep with you after we talk.”

He laughed at that and shook his head, hands cupping my face. “No. I know it’s not like that. It’s about getting closer without being honest. I understand.” The following peck on the lips was a good full stop.

_Getting closer. So it’s not going to be a quick fuck for you either. Not that I really ever thought it would._ “Exactly.” _I still slightly hate you for your perfection._

“Right, so let’s talk. In your room, because it sounds like we need privacy, and then we’ll decide what to do. Ok?”

_Beaten by a rookie. Again._ I nodded and pulled him back inside towards the lift, both of us getting in it, pressing the button, and then grabbing hands way too tight, grinning through the slight but genuine fear.

“Well…if it happens again, at least we know it must be our fault…”

I laughed at that and squeezed his hand, that obviously some sort of signal, and he wrapped me up again and kissed me, properly, enough for me to wonder about cameras in _this_ lift, before the doors pinged open and we turned, slightly red faced, hoping no one was waiting.

But they were.

And I saw Alex look at me as if asking me if I knew who it was, and I felt myself smile in that awkward, wholly regretful way, confirming that I absolutely did, before he looked back at his dad and smiled.

“Ok. Dad…this is Olivia…”

Julia looked more pleasantly shocked than anything, and to my eternal delight after standing in front of his eldest son with an outstretched hand for far too long earlier in the evening, he stepped forward and offered me his first. _So the dad and the brother of the World Champion take the initiative, and Marc just waits._ “Nice to meet you.”

_Cringe._ “You too.” I shook it and smiled, looking back at Alex for a sign before Julia spoke again.

“So Marc was right?”

Alex nodded and smiled, blushing slightly but over the moon. “Marc was right. For once.”

His dad laughed at that and then the fact that we’d been going _up_ in the lift seemed to hit him and he looked a bit lost, eventually settling for “is this your floor?”

Alex looked at me as I nodded, cringing again. “Yeah, this is…our floor.”

The word _our_ found my hand back in his, squeezed, confidence re-imbued, and we walked past and out into the corridor, Alex smiling back and nodding.

“Night, dad. See you tomorrow.”

To his eternal credit, if Julia did blush or cough or have one of those _oh my baby’s growing up_ moments, it didn’t show.

We turned the corner and stood in front of the door.

_And there's definitely no way out of this now._


	14. The Opposite of Amnesia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah stole a bit of FOB for the title ;)
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts! So appreciated ♥

"You boys better not be drinking before a race Friday."

Marc grinned up at his dad and shook his head, pointing at the glass in front of him. "No. Diet Coke."

"Good." The oldest Marquez looked up at the barman and grinned at his son straight after he'd said it. "Beer, please."

"Pfff." Marc smiled back and then grabbed a quick sip of the pint, laughing as his head was swatted away. "That's mean."

"I raised you, I need some reward."

"Championships not enough?"

Julia laughed again before giving his eldest a half-hug. "No, they're not. But who you are is definitely reward enough." Pause. "And beer."

_Love you, too._ Marc laughed again and nodded, acknowledging another couple of team members who'd just walked in. "Thanks."

"Just the truth. Now, I need-"

"Let me guess." He shared a look with Santi and then looked back at him, smirking, enjoying being the eldest, let into the world of concern about his brother after many years being in the same category. "You met her."

Julia pursed his lips and nodded. "I did."

"Well she's 26."

"Speak of the devil." Santi nudged his rider and motioned at Dani over the other side of the room who'd just walked in, all three of them sending him a little wave, the older rider smiling back, eyes flashing with friendly recognition, meek but waving back. _Aww, Dani._

"Come on, Dani's not the devil."

"Just a joke, don't get so...defensive of your boyfriend." 

Marc rolled his eyes and smacked the bearded teddy bear, a regular occurrence occurring once more. "Stop. That advice was actually really helpful. I doubt Alex would have been so calm about us finding out if he hadn't had that chat with Dani."

"I know, I know."

Satisfied with that, Marc turned back to his dad and then cringed slightly at his face. _Ah yeah, you have no idea what I'm talking about._ "Dani talked to Alex. Because he thought maybe Alex wasn't telling us anything because it was a _guy_ he was hiding."

"Oh. Ok." Still not comfortable, but not negative. "That makes a bit more sense."

"Don't worry. Like _you_ told _me_ in Indy, it's not about us, I think he just felt like Dani wasn't too close to home."

"Ok."

"Promise."

"Ok. On that topic...26..." 

"I know." Marc raised an eyebrow and laughed at his dad's blush. " _I know._ But she seems nice."

"You met her?"

"Yup. Earlier. She was wearing the hoodie and I figured it out." He smiled as his dad did actually look proud of that, more forgiving of the easiness of the task than Santi had been. "She had a few drinks with us before Alex came back. Where did you find them?”

“In the lift.”

They shared a look that Marc confirmed with an amused nod. “Ok…”

“Floor 3 is _their_ floor.”

“Wow.” Marc grinned and took another sip of his drink. “Well…” _Nothing I can say is going to work._ “…well.”

*

Opening a door should not be difficult. Opening a door knowing what was on the other side of it, though, was fairly difficult, and my fingers were shaking as they held the key card, as though I’d just used it to chop 93 lines of coke and was on my way out of the mortal realm. But if he noticed, he didn’t say anything, and followed me into the quiet, calm and finally private space as though he did that every day. Travelling for work and therefore for free, being normally a non-smoker and never drinking too much meant my wallet was pretty full, and therefore the room was more of a suite, and we could sit on the little sofa to talk instead of being too aware of the bed right there, waiting. But I didn’t know really how to start the conversation at all, what to say to make the initial shock less, whether the initial shock would dissolve into acceptance or whether he’d walk out and not come back. _Or walk out and then come back?_ Eventually, he took the initiative _again_ and pulled me into the comfiest place in the world – wrapped around Alex Marquez on a sofa with your head on his chest – although I reasoned Santi, in his teddy-bear-ness, could give him a run for his money on that one – and got the ball rolling.

“Shall we start with where we left off?”

“Hmm?”

“The _thing_.”

“Oh, the _thing._ ”

He grinned and I tried to take a calming breath as his fingers started playing with my hair. “Yeah. Because I liked the whole Hollywood gesture when I did it, but I never said anything. Although I think you got the point.”

“Yeah. I did.”

Kiss on top of my head, again. “Good. But yeah, I would also appreciate it if I was the only one you ice-cream kissed from now on, too.”

_How do you remember the words I used?_ “Ok. Well…good.”

“Good.” He gave me a squeeze and sighed happily. “Good. So-“

“Wait.” Deep breath. “Because what we need to talk about relates to that, too.”

“Right…” Nerves back. “Just tell me, then.”

“I will.” I coughed and sat up slightly, suddenly too claustrophobic and too hot, pulling off the hoody to reveal the possibly too-revealing black vest I had on underneath, his eyes following every inch of that, unsure, wondering why I’d sat up, me realising a second later. _Because when I tell you, I can’t take it if you push my away. So if I sit here, you can’t._ “It’s about me. My past.”

“Right…”

“First, to make sure you don’t panic completely, I have _no children_ and am not pregnant.” I smiled at the _really, I won’t panic_ look before it dissolved into obvious relief. _Ha. Got you._

“Right. I hadn’t thought about that…”

“I can see that from the look on your face.”

Gulp. “But it wouldn’t have been a problem.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Not lying. It would have been terrifying, but it wouldn’t have been a problem. And also, I would have serious questions about your parenting skills if you’ve been going to sleep at 5am on a school night.”

_Again, your perfection is too much._ I whacked him on the arm and gave him a look. “Don’t joke.”

“Not joking! That’s a genuine concern.”

_Maybe I shouldn’t be nervous about this conversation. Because I’ll never reach the end. I’ll be impressed to death in 5 minutes._ “Sure. Ok. Well that’s one thing, anyway.”

“Ok. There’s more?”

_Oh yes._ “Yup. Similar kind of more.”

Gulp. “Right…”

“Ok, just…when I say it, don’t freak out.”

“I’m not promising anything but I’ll try.”

“Please at least promise now even if you break it.”

“No.” He smiled at that and shook his head. “That’s not how you treat a promise.” _FUCK YOU._ He seemed to read my impressed annoyance and smiled, nodding. “Carry on...”

“Ok.” _Deep breath._ “Well…when I was 18…” I could see his eyes go from nerves to something more wholly negative, maybe expecting another age excuse, so I squeezed his hand and shook my head. “No. This is about me. Promise.” I let that sink in and smiled, aware this was it. “Because when _I_ was 18…” Gulp. “I got married.”

*

I’d expected shock, horror, or screaming, and got only one of them. Shock, definitely, but more wariness and expecting me to carry on further. So I took another deep breath, almost overdosing on the oxygen of it all, and nodded. “When I was 18, I got married. And it didn’t last. He’s 13 years older than me. History professor. That’s how I met him, which was extremely against the rules. Everything was fast because we…well, I…thought it was perfect. So we got married a week before I turned 19, and we were together, properly, for 5 years.”

Speechless. Cough. Gulp. “Right…”

“Right. So we split up two years ago.” Gulp. “And then last year, or maybe January this year, we decided to give it another go. I’d been and lived in Sao Paulo for a year, met someone there that I thought eventually confirmed that Jordi – my husband’s name – was actually right for me. So we started slow, just seeing each other every now and again, nothing serious. It hasn't been serious since we split up. But I thought it could maybe work…”

Still absolutely zero reaction, face completely still.

“But then…” _Cliché alert. But be aware of what this implies._ “I met you.”

And he was very, very aware of what that implied.

“And it’s not going to work. I don’t love him. I made a big mistake when I was 18, and then I almost made it again. But I didn’t.”

Nothing.

“Alex?”

Still nothing.

“Please say something…”

He coughed and seemed to finally wake up from the trance, face still neutral but eyes properly focused back on mine, before he got to his feet and frowned. _Please don’t leave._ “Right. Ok.”

“But I-“

“No, wait.” He shook his head at me and then took a deep breath. “So you’re saying you’re still mar-“

“Yeah.”

“Jesus.”

I had a sudden, inappropriate flash of memory go through my head, Bea drunkenly insisting to me that Jorge Lorenzo was actually Jesus, and tried to keep my scared-of-conflict and nervous brain trained on the situation. “But I-“

“Does he know about me?”

“It’s not an exclu-“

“That’s a no.”

“That’s a no. But-“

“No, no but." More frowning. "I’ll see you later. I need a while.”

And he did, finally, walk out, the slam of the door feeling like a slap in the face, and I melted into the cushions, in serious pain.

*

_But I’ve already started telling him I don’t want him. I’ve already cut all the cords but a few. I’ve already told you that I don’t love him because I’m comparing it to how I feel when I look at you. You just don’t understand how hard it’s going to be to make him believe me when I say it. How you’ve not been under threat since the second you said ‘So…’ and I’ve just been scared._

I'd been sat there a while before I looked up at the ceiling in a desperate attempt to save my eyeliner, lip wobbling and then giving up and heading into the bathroom, staring myself down. _Should’ve told him sooner. Not Alex, him. Should’ve-_ I gritted my teeth to stop myself crying and then pulled out my phone, knowing it wasn’t fair to follow or cry or scream or shout at Alex, realising the only thing I had any control over was the other side of the equation. _And I can shut that down right now._ So I stood on the balcony, dialled the number, and got ready to really cry. _Because I usually do._

I listened to the rings and said a few practice words to steady my voice, shake leaving it before he answered, feeling wholly more prepared.

_“Hello.”_

“Hi, it’s me.”

_“I know. How are you?”_

“Surviving, thanks. You?”

_“Fine.” Fine. Never good. Never bad. Always the grey area._

“Good. Well we need to talk.”

_“I thought you were in Austria?”_

“No, I’m in Brno. Czech Republic, For the race.”

_“Race? F1 or what?”_

If there was anything he could have said, nasty or vindictive or confusing or controlling, to make me think I was right, that beat it. _No, not F1. Not F1 at all. Not here. But of course you don’t know that. I know your favourite paragraph in Cien Años de Soledad off by heart, and you don’t even know that._ “No. MotoGP.”

_“Bikes.”_

The way he said it made me actually clench my teeth. “Yes, bikes.”

_“What are you doing there?”_

_Falling for Alex Marquez._ “Going to the race…”

_“Well I guess that’s one thing to do with your weekend.”_

“Yeah, it is. My favourite thing. That’s why I’m calling.”

_“Look I know you love it but I don’t want to-“_

“Oh don’t worry, you’re not going to hear about it. And I do love it. And I don’t love you.”

_“For God’s sake, Olivia. Are you drunk?”_

_Yeah because I’m such a heavy drinker and you know me so well._ “No, I’m being honest. I already told you, I don’t think this is going to work. And you begged and pleaded and bought another chance, but it’s still not going to work. This is it, I mean it. From me, there are no hard feelings.” _Liar._ “But I don’t want to see you again unless we have to to organise the divorce, and I’m _not_ going to change my mind. I’m sorry.”

_“But-“_

“No, no buts. I don’t love you. Maybe I did, but I made a mistake. And I’m not going to keep repeating it because that’s the definition of a fool.”

_“You are drunk.”_

“No, I’m not. I have a brain, sometimes I have a way of speaking that you don’t seem to like because it makes you remember that." _Ouch._ "But this is it. So say whatever last things you want to say, and go back to the whiskey glass I can hear in your hand.”

There was a long pause, obviously for effect, before the dam burst.

_“Livi please don’t…”_

I sighed and ducked back inside to grab the hoody from the sofa, sitting on it like I had in the lift such a scarily short time ago, that making me feel more able to stand up to it than anything else, and leant back against the wall to wait for it to finish.

And it was a long goddamn time. And there was no knock on the door. And that definitely hurt the most.

And I realised 10 minutes after I'd finally given up on talking to him that the reason I was crying had absolutely nothing to do with _him_ and everything to do with _that._

_But he said see you later._

Deep breath, mascara rescue staring myself down again.

_You said see you later. Didn't you?_


	15. Dust and Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so...the point is to show to the difference between "arrgghhhh! :D :D :D" and what she's feeling for Alex...?
> 
> Just in case I didn't nail that. ;) (please let me know!)
> 
> Thank you so much for everything on this! ♥

I’d pretty much realised or thought I had by 11.36pm that he wasn’t coming back. Whether that meant forever, tonight, for a week or a month, I didn’t know. But Jesus did it hurt.

I sat on the balcony for a bit longer, basically crying at the sky trying to pretend I wasn’t, and then decided that enough was enough and set off on the very classy journey to the car, eyeliner more Motley Crue face-stripes, hair also more Motley Crue, everything rough. But nothing was going to help as much as driving around with something painfully cry-worthy on the stereo, smoking out the window yes fuck the hire company, letting part of me at least be distracted.

I took my phone. I wore the hoodie. It passed midnight. 

And then it rang.

*

_“Where did you go? You didn’t check out because I checked but I-”_

“I’m driving. Or, I was driving around. I’ve pulled over.”

_“Driving?”_

“Yeah. Driving and crying and smoking.”

_“I said I was coming back.”_

“I thought you’d be asleep by now. I thought you’d gone.”

_“Do you feel like_ you _could sleep right now?”_

“No.” _Race weekend. Rider. Unable to sleep. Hit with everything. Eighteen years old. Still calls back._ “Not at all.” The guilt was getting heavier. _Crushing is the word._

_“Well me neither.”_

“I’m sorr-“

_“How far away are you?”_

“About 10 minutes.”

_“I’ll meet you outside the hotel in 10 minutes then.”_

The phone went dead and I dropped it onto the passenger seat with a thud, sniffing horribly, guilt overwhelming but relief giving it a run for its money, before pulling a 180 and screaming back. 

I drove back like I shouldn’t have and parked the same, wiping the worst of the make-up back upwards into a kind-of line, whacking my hair back down, reasoning that wouldn’t matter so much given what I’d just told him, and then set off back towards the front door, knowing he’d probably beaten me there and praying to God he’d waited. _This is the 5th or 6th time already I’ve not had enough faith. And that says as much about me as it does about you._

Because he had waited, he was leaning against the doorframe, and he looked like an _actual_ angel.

*

“Hey.”

“H-Hi.” _Please voice, please work._ “S-sorry.”

“What for?” His posture wasn’t particularly open, but it wasn’t closed. His voice was a bit duller than normal and I could hear the same effort to keep it steady as I heard in mine. But he was there.

“For…everything. For never having quite enough faith when you say you’ll call, when you say you’re coming back…for not being open with you. Twice.”

Wobbly smile.

“But I haven’t cheated…on you? I mean…I don’t love him. And I’ve not slept with him for a long time, ok?”

“You haven’t slept with me yet. That’s not the definition of cheating.”

_No, it’s not._ “I know. But I’ve basically just been trying to leave him for so long, and I didn’t dare.” _With me…yet. Yet._

“But now you have?” 

Those big, brown eyes, suddenly a lot closer to mine, willing me to say the right thing.

_I hope this is the right thing. Although I can’t say anything else because this is the truth.._ “Yeah. Now I have. I called him, after you left, and I made sure he understood that it was _over_. I’m still married to him. I can’t change that overnight. But I-“

“Ok.” 

“Let me-“

“No, ok. It’s ok. It’s not _good_ , but it’s ok. If you prove it.” He pulled something out of his back pocket and put it in my hand, squeezing slightly and making sending shivers up my arm. “Sunday morning, 8am. EG 0,0 garage. If you’re there, we’re ok. If not, just don’t sell me out and I hope you’re happy.”

I looked down at it, pit pass, lanyard, everything, and felt myself unceremoniously whimper slightly. _You are perfect. Surely._ “W-what?”

“Look…I…I hate it. I hate what you told me. But I believe you, 99%. And if you come on Sunday, and you’re willing to show people, and there’s not some guy sat in Barcelona going to turn on the TV and choke on his breakfast, then ok. Back to 100%.” Deep breath. “I, er…talked to Dani again…”

_The silent types are the ones to watch, they say. In this case, for incredible reasons._ “Right…” I wasn’t looking at him, I was looking at the floor, cowardly _again_ , and I felt a finger gently hook under my chin and lift my face to look at his, wishing I could stop the ridiculous amount of tears that were still threatening.

“Right.” He nodded down at me, faintest smile, and put some hair behind my ear, hands going round my waist as he leant in and his chin rested on top of my head, vibrations of his voice going straight through me, rocking us ever-so-slightly from side to side like it was a lullaby. “And he made a good point…that if I’d known, before…I wouldn’t have just given up and walked away. So why would I do that now?” 

_I didn’t even meet you yet, Pedrosa. And you’ve saved my ass._ “Because I lied.”

“Well…you didn’t tell me the truth. But I never asked.”

“Don’t make excuses for m-“

“I’m not. _That’s_ the truth.” He squeezed me for a couple of seconds and then kissed me on the forehead before letting me go, eyes on mine, lip nervously bitten. “So…I hope I’ll see you in the morning…”

The restraint he obviously needed to manage to walk away at that point was very obvious. But he did it. 

“Goodnight, Livi. See you on Sunday.” 

I said it when he was, I thought, too far away to hear, but his head did move ever-so-slightly back towards me.

“Night.”

*

Once he was gone, and I waited until he'd completely disappeared, I went back inside, walked towards the lift, pressed the button, mind just replaying every single tiny detail, guilt heavier than ever, relief even heavier, and then got in. As did someone else.

_Me and lifts. It's a thing_.

I pressed the '3' button in silence and then felt my breath catch as I realised who it was. Dani didn't move. _So floor 3 is you, too?_ I was starting to wonder if he knew who I was, if he was aware quite how much he deserved to wake up bathing in gold coins and caviar and anything else I could ever repay him with, before he eventually coughed and turned to look at me. "You're Olivia..."

I took a deep breath and nodded, daring a glance at him, heart hammering, emotional wreck and scared of going under in the presence of _Dani_.. "Y-Yeah."

I saw him smile out the corner of my eye, realising I was more nervous than him and turning to me, hand held out. "Dani."

_OH MY GOD I KNOW, BABY. I KNOW. YOU'RE MY SUN._ "Olivia. B-but you can call me Livi." I smiled and turned to him, somehow, shaking the hand, mesmerised by the eyes. _DANI. DANI MY SAVIOUR_.

"Ok, I will." Little smile. Cheek-pinching cuteness.

_Dani_. The door ping as we arrived at Floor 3 made me jump and I had to replay the moment a few times to be sure I hadn't yelled "DANIII!" in the shock, but obviously not since he held out his hand to usher me out in front, everything normal on the surface, no small Honda riders turning and running. _Ok,lil Dani. I'll go first. No problem. I owe you the world and everything in it for fixing my life_. He smiled at me and nodded, about to head off the opposite way, before I felt myself actually reach out and grab his hand, touch burning and another flash of panic whether I'd yelled his name or not. "Sorry..." _Big fucking cringe_. I took my hand back and froze as he turned, eyes puzzled but not negative, waiting for me to explain myself, me trying not to just fall to my knees and cry. "I-I...just..."

"Hmm?"

"I...just...wanted to thank you." Gulp. Wobbly voice. "For, er...talking to Alex. Saving my ass."

"Ah. He told you?"

"Yeah." I nodded and pulled out the pit pass, holding onto it like a life raft, hands shaking. "He told me. He gave me this. I have to be there at 8 on Sunday, and then we're ok."

"And you're going to go...?"

"YES." I grinned at him and nodded, him smiling back, and felt the tears well up in my eyes as I watched him realize the same was happening, the most mournful _oh no please don’t cry_ expression taking over, that at least controlling the tears and making me have to fight a new war against reaching out and actually pinching his cheek.

“I think I gave the right advice, then?”

“Hmm.” I squeaked slightly and nodded, smiling it away and running a finger under my eyes. “Sorry I’m a mess. I’m very relieved. And thankful.”

“Don’t worry. You’re welcome.”

_He’s not leaving. Say something._ “I didn’t really imagine _this_ as the moment I met you, to be honest. It’s a lot to take in.” _Not that._

“What?”

_So the news of my Pedrosa-adoration hasn’t yet reached Pedrosa. Great._ “Well now I made it even more awkward.”

“No, it’s fine. What do you mean?”

“Hmm.” _Oh fuck it. If this works out with Alex, he’s going to have to not ignore you anyway._ “Well I love MotoGP…”

“Yeah…?”

_So easy to talk to._ “…and you’re my favourite rider.” I felt the nervous sarcastic joke happening before I said it but was powerless to stop. “…so I kind of expected I’d meet you, we’d get married and I’d move to Geneva..?”

You’d imagine Dani was easier to make blush that his teammate, but he really wasn’t. Not a hint of blush, just a warm, deep laugh and a nod. “Ah, I see. Sorry about that.”

“That’s ok.” I laughed with him and felt the nerves start to disappear, realising why. _You know it's a joke. Because you know it couldn't be anything else. Because of Alex._ “I think that dream’s over from my side, too.”

“Well Cervera’s a nice town. I’m sure you’ll be equally happy there.”

He paused for a couple of seconds as he realised what he’d implied, me doing the same, and then gave me the most knowing smile in the _world_. 

"You're killing me."

"Sorrryy." _Not sorry at all._

"It's ok. Where shall I send the gold bullion and caviar?"

"What?!"

"Your reward. Fed-ex or shall I talk to the concierge?"

Another deep, warm laugh and a nod as he got it. ““It’s ok. You’re welcome.” Another heartbreaker of a smile. “Goodnight, Livi. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

_Night night Dani._ “Goodnight.” 

I watched him go, went back to my room, took off the hoodie, replaced my vest with a Pedrosa t shirt, then an Alex one, then eventually went for Alex under Dani, and then went to sleep. After one last message, lockscreen of our faces, feeling like I missed him already, but knowing that was going to end on Sunday. Sure about it.

Alex: _I'm not going to call you until Sunday. Want to let it sink in. But I mean it - 100% if you're there. Goodnight. xxx_

Livi: _I will be there. I promise. Your kind of promise. Be careful. ♥ xxxx_


	16. 100%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, remember me?! ;) Sorry sorry I have visitors this weekend and it's difficult to find time! Can't promise when anything will be updated again until tomorrow night...
> 
> But thank you and I hope you like it! ♥

Friday was difficult. Since I’d really started to care about him – the extent of which my brain had decided to skirt around indefinitely – we’d not had a session where he’d been on the bike and he hadn’t called before and after. So it was nerve wracking, and even as a fan, surprisingly irritating to not get an immediate, full, non-PR friendly version of the low-down. But obviously, worse was how much I missed him, and it felt like my superstitions were out full force as the clock ticked towards the green light for FP1. But in the way he always seemed to be able to, already, he kept my faith stoked by again winking at the camera. So no calls and texts was apparently not quite the same as _no communication_. I was wandering round the track trying to keep my brain busy by trying out different settings on my camera, ignoring the ‘elephant in my consciousness’, as his absence was, and it did work reasonably well until I checked through the photos in the lunch break and realised I had 80% Alex, 1% Rins by accident but nice photos, 14% Dani, and 5% Marc, Vale and Jorge. It was usually the exact opposite way round, because the Yamahas were, for me, the prettiest. So I smiled at myself for that, obviously not paying attention to my own distraction tactics, and Bea called. To tell me Jordí was sat on my doorstep. 

_“I went to pick up that letter for you and someone obviously let him in the building because he was literally just sat there. Half asleep. So I think he’d been there for a while.”_

“Right…” _Fuck._ “Well…I was going to call him tomorrow anyway, give him chance to let it sink in, then tell him about Alex…what did you do? What did he say?”

_“Well I think you should call him tonight, seriously. And I told him to fuck off. In a reasonably nice way…?” ___

“Should I believe you?”

_“You know I’m a sweetheart underneath…”_

“Yeah, I do.” Pause. “Underneath…”

_“Ha fair point,,,well yeah I don’t think I was mean, just firm. And he did leave, and I told the doorman so you should be ok now.”_

“Right, ok. Thank you. A lot.”

_“No problem. And well…I guess I expected it. Did you?”_

“Yup. At least a bit…but in the building when he knows I’m not there is a bit stupidly pointless.”

_“Story of his life.”_

“Ouch!”

_“I’m not sorry! Do you think Alex will make it to Sunday morning?”_

“WHAT?!”

_“Argh! No…I mean do you think he’ll last without you or crack and call you?”_

“He’ll last.”

_“You sound sure…”_

“I am sure. He’s that guy. He meant it and he’d thought about it.”

_“Self-restraint. Wow. Well that sounds promising…”_

“Don’t make me think about that!” I put my other hand over my free ear and sang a few _la la la’s_. “Please.”

_“Why?!”_

“Because yeah it sounds very promising but the thought of it and the fact that I have to wait until Sunday is driving me crazy.”

_“Wow. You are in deeeeeep.”_

I took a deep breath and thought about that, looking back up at the screen and smiling as I saw who was on it. “I am. And he’s about to go out again, so I’ll talk to you soon, ok?”

_“Ok. Have fun. Take photos of EVERYONE though. AND…blow Jorge a kiss from me?”_

I laughed at that and nodded, getting back to my feet and heading off back where I’d come from. “I will. I already have.”

_“Thank you. Byeee!”_

*

Saturday was a similar story, but the news from home was better, ie no Jordí. I hadn’t called him the night before because I wimped out, but I resolved to do it after Moto2 qualifying, judging I’d be happy enough to not give in to any emotional blackmail. And I was, and I told him, and had to keep putting the phone down on him because he was yelling, eventually hating myself slightly for turning off my phone, knowing Alex wasn’t going to call but sad to lose the chance to talk to him if he did. I turned it back on a few hours later in the lift on the way down to the bar and had 12 missed calls, none from Number 12, all from Jordi, and felt an annoyed but proud sensation of irritation, before forgetting all about it when Marc got in the lift. With Santi, again. On pole. Of course.

I wondered how much he knew, greeting very warm, then realised he knew everything as he stopped on his way out and turned back to me.

“You’re going to go, tomorrow…right?”

“Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”

He didn’t get that, Santi did and filled in, and then he nodded and smiled, pointing towards the bar.

“Ok, good. Want a drink with us, then? Alex is staying in the track again. But I think we should tweet a picture to measure his self-restraint.”

_Bastard._ I raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Ok. Sounds good. But…this self-restraint…will it really be broken? By that?”

“No.” Immediate, sure answer. “But it’s _always_ worth a try.”

“Evil.”

“He’s my little brother. I’m meant to be evil.”

“Not sure that’s quite the truth…”

“Well no one else gives him shit, so I have to.”

“So the rule is that he must get shit for something?”

“Yes.” Marc grinned and held the door into the bar open for me. “Like I said, I love him to death, but he is my little brother.”

So I spent the night in the bar with them, the only one drinking, ate with them, the only one still drinking, and then was the random person in the background of a tweeted photo. And it must have tested him because he obviously realised the way around the problem – Twitter rules hadn’t been set. So I got a DM.

DM @alexmarquez23: @LiviOhNotLoi So not funny :P

DM @LiviOhNotLoi: @alexmarquez23 don’t worry baby, you’re prettier than him

DM @alexmarquez23: @LiviOhNotLoi yup ;) jeje…now stop it and I hope I’ll see you in the morning!

DM @LiviOhNotLoi: @alexmarquez23 well I’ll be there and I’m guessing they won’t replace their Championship-contending rider, so…

And he didn’t reply again, but he did tweet Marc.

@alexmarquez23: @marcmarquez93 you deserve the name ‘cabroncito’ grrrrrr

@marcmarquez93: @alexmarquez23 jejejejejeje ;) :P

*

I got up at 6am on Sunday. Which was physically and mentally painful, but I’d realised the second he passed me the pass that I would have to. For a start, no one wants to go on TV looking like shit. Secondly, no one wants to go on TV as the girlfriend of a rider looking like shit. Thirdly, no one wants to walk past Linda Morselli looking like shit. So I spent a long time getting ready, not over the top but everything _right_ , even though he’d met me looking half-melted in a lift in Barcelona, and by 715ish I was reasonably satisfied with the result. I went down for breakfast to find the breakfast room empty except for Dani and a couple of guys from his side of the garage, and to my completely teenage joy, he waved. And waved me over. So I ate a very high-social-pressure breakfast, maybe a bit less than usual, sat next to him. And the way he ‘explained’ me was adorable, again.

“Alex Marquez’s girlfriend. Or…” He looked at his watch and grinned at me. “Will be in 45 minutes.”

_45 minutes._ I nodded at that, suddenly terrified, and tried to smile it off. No such luck.

“Don’t panic. You’re really not that aware of the cameras and stuff once you’re down there. Promise.”

“Hmm.”

“Honestly.”

“Hmm…”

“Honestly!” He smiled again and then checked his watch again. “Are you driving down? Or want a lift with us?”

_Dani Pedrosa, just casually offering you a lift to the track. And you’re going to accept more because you don’t want to be late to meet Alex than because it’s Dani Pedrosa._ “What time are you leaving?”

“7.45. Early start today.”

“Then that would be great, thanks. Helps me know where I’m going at least…”

“No problem.”

“Why are you going so early?”

“Sometimes I just do. Not had much PR stuff this weekend so it’s easier to get to bed and sleep early, then when I’m up I don’t like waiting round.”

_Well you are a MotoGP rider…_ “Make sense.”

“It does.”

We left the breakfast room at 740, the crew guys had a smoke, then I was ushered into the car and we actually started moving towards the track. Which sounds like an obvious thing, but actually seeing the gate get bigger, and not be in control of the car and the speed, felt like the future rushing up to give me a slap in the face. But I took a few deep breaths, tried to ignore the overwhelming paranoia that he wouldn’t be there or he’d changed his mind, got pulled down to the right place by the Repsol guys, then found myself standing face to face with a patiently waiting, beaming Moto3 rider. My heart hammered as we stared at each other, a few seconds to take it what it really meant, and then he cleared his throat.

“You came.”

“I promised. Your kind.”

“Hmm.” A slight smirk.

“You did my trick of giving in to paranoia?”

“Maybe a bit.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“You won’t need to.” He smiled again, wide and honest, relieved, and very very happy. “Like I said, 100%.”

“100%.”

His arms went round my waist, eyes locking onto mine, hand under the hoody, cool summer morning kept at bay by the new, shared body heat between us, and then pressed his lips against my ear.

“I’m glad you’re here. I think this has been the hardest 30 hours of my life to not give up and call you.”

“You know, I did keep thinking you might…”

“Oh I _really_ wanted to. But I thought it would be better if at least one of us had some self-restraint…”

I laughed slightly at that and felt his grip tighten, more and more sure I was really meant to have turned up and it meant everything he wanted it to. “You’re evil.” I pinched him in the sides, my hands similarly skin-on-skin, and felt his muscles shiver underneath them, pressing himself closer. “But maybe I like it.”

“Hmm. I’m staying in your room tonight.”

“Not even going to ask?”

“This is 100% isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” I nodded against his chest and smiled as a kiss hit the top of my head. _One hundred percent, completely._

And then we embarrassed ourselves slightly by sharing a kiss, a proper kiss, that once it started meant the first time we looked at the clock it was 818am, Alzamora trying to get our attention, cheeks red and flushed for both reasons, staring at each other and sharing a few breathless seconds before finally the moment was gone, to be repeated again though, I knew, and he got to ‘work’.

“Be careful.”

“I will.”

“I fucking mean it. I can’t deal with it if-“

“I know.” A long hug, another quick kiss, and a smirk from Alex Rins as he walked past. “ _I know._ ”


	17. Hole In One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argghhhhhh fuck I'm so nervous about this. I'm normally a wimp anyway, I know...but this is straight first person narrative and arrgggghhh! :/ ;) Please please be honest and let me know any way you want?!
> 
> Love you so much for the responses so far, thank you! ♥
> 
> These are basically just snippets from the Brno Sunday (same race results as real life up to this point), and the rating has changed! Warning! ;) :/

“Ok. When I open the door, we’re not nervous, we’re not…anything. Ok? Just you, and me, and…”

I trailed off and watched him nod, cheeks flushed, eyes black, hair ruffled and abused by my hands, biting down on his bruised lip, maybe the tiniest hint of nerves but a bigger hint of something else. “Ok…”

I stared at him for a couple of seconds, body screaming to just yank him inside, before I realised what the other part of his expression was. “Are you still smirking at me?”

“No…”

“Fuck you.” I glared slightly and then grinned again. “You’re _still_ not nervous, are you?”

“Not much. But the first part? Yes.” 

He let the ‘s’ hiss at me for a couple of seconds before he reached slowly, slowly behind me, fingers pushing gently into the back pocket of my jeans and finding the key card, eyes locked on mine, leaning towards me, lips close, smell intoxicating in the extreme. Pulling it out, dragging it around my hip, grazing the skin under the thin fabric of the t shirt, holding it up in front of me, then reaching back, putting it in the slot, pulling it out, the _beep_ as it unlocked suddenly breaking the control, the door slamming back as his lips crashed against mine and sent us through it. He kicked it shut behind us and I found my t shirt over my head before we crash landed against the first wall.

*

“I’m so proud of you.” I wrapped him in a hug and pressed my lips against his ear, on tip toes to manage it, voice low and private. “And I’m _so_ proud to be here with you.”

He nodded into my neck and hung on for a few seconds, pressing a kiss against the crook, before pulling away and locking his eyes on mine. “Hmm. Fourth. But I’m so proud to have you here. Well, I’m proud to have you.” He smiled at that, maybe a tiny question on his face as if checking he had got me, pushing some hair behind my ear and taking a deep breath. “How was it? Down here?”

I shrugged happily, not really sure how you explain what it feels like to watch someone important to you blast around a track at excessive speed, with other people in the way and trying to be. “The attention? Not too bad. Your dad was really nice to me, and the team. But watching you…” I smiled and pulled the sleeve of the hoody up slightly to reveal my left arm, blood drawn by the fingernails of my right hand through the stress. “I don’t know how they do it. I mean, they’re nervous…but I felt like I lived and died between every corner.”

His face looked down at it and then back at me, round puppy dog _aww_ , before he pulled it towards his face and kissed it. “I think you get used to it.”

“I’m not sure I will.”

“Well at least take it out on the team instead of yourself.” He grinned and then tilted my chin up for a kiss, then took my hand and we started the walk back to Repsol Honda, to Marc and Dani and the rest of the day. 

“Alex?” I squeezed his hand and felt him turn his head to look at me.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“What for?” Another squeeze in return.

“For forgiving me and letting me in.”

He pulled us to a stop and almost rolled his eyes, affection setting: extreme. “I forgive you. But it wasn’t that I was mad – I was just freaked out and confused. And worried you were telling me because you didn’t want this to be serious. But- Nah ah ah!” He grinned and clamped my mouth shut with his hand, shaking his head. “Wait!” I poked my tongue onto his fingers and got a satisfied eyebrow raise in response. “Ok. Did you think I’d really care you did that?”

I nodded and his hand finally let me talk. “Maybe.”

“Well if I thought that was gross then tonight would be pretty disappointing…”

“Ok don’t.” I grinned back and motioned at the nearby overhearing ears. “Pleeassee…”

“I hope you’ll be saying that ag-“

“Don’t!” Another grin, before finally he stopped and carried on with the actual conversation.

“Ok. Well I wasn’t mad, I was just threatened. But you’re here. And ok, so you weren’t – or aren’t – happily married. But still, you came here. For me. And that feels pretty amazing.”

“I never thought about it like that.”

“Well I did.” He pulled me in, arms round my waist. “You stood in a church and promised your life to someone, and ok maybe it wasn’t perfect. But you broke that for _me._ ”

I nodded and we stared at each other for a few seconds, eyes mirroring each other going from happiness to understanding to something I didn’t yet want to consider. “I would have left anyone for this.” I cringed slightly at the cliché and then smiled as his eyes lit up. _I’m not joking. I really would have._ “So I hope that feels even better.”

“That feels amazing.” He nodded and then leant down for a kiss, both of us laughing slightly as some ‘members of the public’ wolfwhistled, pulling apart to find a red faced woman wanting an autograph, which she got from an equally red faced but very happy Alex Marquez, next to an equally red faced but very happy me. 

*

 _“A fresh face in Alex Marquez’s side of the EG 0,0 garage this weekend cheering him on, although we can’t speculate on what relationship…”_ Nick trailed off as Alex wrapped me in a hug and attacked a kiss out of me. _“Obviously his girlfriend, although a new face in the paddock…”_

*

“You know you said you would have left anyone for me?”

I hummed a _hmm_ into the pillow and shivered again as his fingers traced a line from the nape of my neck own my spine, me facing away from him, in bed after midnight and relaxed after a long day, feeling even more fire ants under my skin as it got lower and lower.

“Well I wondered…even Dani?” His hand stopped and he prodded me lightly in the kidneys, me yelping slightly and turning back over, smiling.

“What?!”

“You love Dani. A scary amount.” His grinned at the look on my face and nodded, eyebrows raised, some of his attention now on my chest since I’d turned over. “Yeah, I saw you trying to pretend you were all sorry Marc came 4th.”

I pouted back at him and then grinned, snuggling closer. “Well…I’m always disappointed for whichever Honda or Yamaha rider isn’t on the podium, for a start. But yes, ok…I was cheering for Dani. But I didn’t scream or cry, so that’s progress…?”

“You normally scream and cry?!”

“No?!” I grinned and nodded, going slightly red. “Maybe a bit. For Dani.”

“Ok. I’ll remember that. And why do you love Dani?”

“Because he always gets back up. And he’s just one of those quiet, dignified people, you know? Whatever’s said about him, he’s never a dick. And he’s amazing.”

“Hmmm…”

“Not convinced?”

“Well…” His hand traced around my waist and pulled me in so we were flush against each other again, tangled under the sheet, lips very close to mine. “I can think of another way to make sure I am…”

“I bet you can. In fact…” I pinned him to the bed and looked down before raising an eyebrow at him. “I can _feel_ you can.”

He groaned as I shifted my weight and started to crawl down him, head going back into the pillow, exposed neck too inviting for me to not pause and create another little bruise before carrying on, hand in my hair, very gentle, just for the contact, not for the control. “God. I…” His breath caught in his throat and I felt another flash of fire go through me at the little noise that made, tongue now circling his tip, teasing, his hips fighting a desperate battle between forcing the issue and enjoying the game. The hand in my hair got tighter and I traced one hand over his hip, swallowing him down and hearing the low, guttural groan vibrate through the bed towards my ears. 

_I know._

*

His t shirt followed mine onto the floor, his back already covered in a few scratches I’d caused before we even reached the bed, back of my head smarting slightly where we’d hit the wall and rebounded on the desperate zig-zig across what now seemed like too big a space, bed too far away. He nipped my bottom lip as my hands fumbled successfully with the button on his jeans, both of us now tasting blood, and I felt a hint of uncertainty as he tasted it before I ran my hand through his hair and kept pulling him, harder, towards the bed, eventually sitting on the end, him staring down, getting the message, breath light and coming in quick gasps, so incredibly beautiful, ruffled and flushed, and I could almost feel my eyes burning him as I looked at it. _Wow._ He seemed to notice that and smiled, almost imperceptible nod as I started to move back, lying down to let him slowly crawl over me, everything slowed, his fingers undoing the button on my jeans this time, kneeling over me, the zip pulled down, and I arched my back towards him to free myself from them, his fingers curling into the fabric to help before they ended up on the floor too and he looked down. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He smiled again, finger tracing a line from my collarbone through the middle of my chest and down to the waistband of my panties, snapping it lightly against the skin and then locking our gazes again. “So beautiful.”

I knew I was blushing, and he seemed to notice and shake his head slightly, lips meeting mine again to reitereate as he propped himself over me, tongue still tangy and metallic with the taste of blood but now not trying to devour me whole, trying to know everything and say everything, moving down my neck, leaving a trail of saliva and bruises, a chuckle as he hit that same spot as before and felt me tremble, another as he leant down closer and the bulge in his jeans came into contact with my stomach, both of us groaning into another kiss as we automatically moved against each other for the friction and I moved my hand down his back, under the now loose waistband of his jeans, under the fabric of his boxers, fingernails digging in and eliciting that same animalistic growl as it had before, before he sat back up and we somehow wrestled his jeans on to the floor, and I pinned _him_ to the bed, sitting on top of him, friction unbearably teasing, and reached around to undo my bra, his hand beating me to it, and shockingly, unsnapping it instantly. _Wow. Hole in one._ He smiled at the little flash of surprise on my face before sitting us up, me curled around him and face to face, breath hot on each other’s cheeks, and he trusted me to keep the balance as both hands pulled the straps down each arm, bra going the same way as the jeans, now just one piece of clothing left each, his mouth kissing down my neck, again, patience incredible, before his tongue circled my left nipple and flicked it, teasing, vibrations humming into my skin, my legs clamping around him harder in response, back shivering as his hands pulled me in, fingerprint bruises left all over my back.

“I need to ask you something.” I pulled away slightly and got his face level with mine again, staring back at him, both of us panting. “Are you clean? Have you been tested? For everything?”

A flash of surprise before a half smile. “Yeah. But I have a-“

“No.” I raised my eyebrows and smiled before leaning even closer and resting my forehead against his, both of us closing our eyes. “If you _promise_ you are, and you _know_ you are, then I know I am. And I’m on the pill.”

His tongue flicked out and traced my bottom lip before I felt a nod. “I am. But I don’t want to pressu-“

“No pressure.” I pulled away slightly and we locked eyes again. “I trust you.” I saw the first, tiny hint of nervousness as he realised what was really on offer, and I smiled and nodded, hand going through his hair, partly to remind myself he was real. “Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Ok.” I smiled again and pushed him back down onto the bed, crawling backwards and hooking a finger under each side of the waistband of his boxers, slowly pulling them down and freeing his cock, expecting him to expect more before they were on the floor and I was suddenly the one pinned down, him repeating that with mine and still somehow finding the restraint to start from my neck, to collarbone, chest, nipple, stomach, rougher than before, as I knew was my grip on his hair, pressure leaving my skin red, teeth marks I wouldn’t notice until the shower the next morning, before finally his fingertips pulled my legs further apart and the journey continued on my inner thighs, the skin more sensitive, knowing I was writhing slightly and that making him smile, getting so so close and then moving away again, his index finger then suddenly, gently, pushing inside, feeling myself arch towards him, feeling myself groan, feeling him move slightly further back up the bed towards me, propped over me, eyes questioning and black with lust, before mine answered and his mouth captured mine again, hand still between my legs, fingers tracing cruelly slowly upwards, finding my clit and smiling into the kiss as I groaned again, distantly aware in the back of my brain that I was _begging_ and whimpering, everything trembling, before he slowly, gently pushed inside, incredible restraint and inch by inch blissful torture on both of our faces, until finally I wrapped my legs around his waist, back arching towards him again, hands clawing, and pulled us together. And then his forehead rested on mine for a second, and we _paused_. 

*

“Are you asleep?”

“No.”

“Good. I need the bathroom.”

“Do you need my help?” I smiled into the dark as a hand slapped my ass slightly.

“No! I need you to untangle me, though.”

“Awww.” I rolled away slightly and let him go, bedside light going on and giving me a front row seat to watch that perfect body move across the room towards the bathroom. _You are perfect. You’re actually perfect._ I listened to the sound of him using the toilet with a slight smile, then the flush, then made sure there was the noise of the sink being used, and then traced the return journey before he got back in, light off again, and pulled me back to how we had been before, spooning, his hand over mine around my waist, kiss pressed into my hair at the back of my head. 

“Sorry. Goodnight.”

I settled in against him and smiled as his hand squeezed mine in the dark, satisfied sigh. “Goodnight.”

*

I expected, after everything, that maybe he wouldn’t be desperate to just _take_ , but I realised a split second after, when we were staring at each other, that _he’d_ stopped first. And he looked at me with the most incredible expression on his face, and then gently started the kiss again, hips slowly starting to move, me responding, everything working perfectly in time, like we’d practiced too many times to not know exactly what to do next, what we each wanted and how. I could feel my fingernails digging in too tight, him seeming to like it more than not, and I could feel the cyclic intensity of the kiss as we moved, before I fought back and then was on top of him, his hands going around me and pulling me in and down, roughly, chest to chest, hips still moving, grunting slightly, breath getting more and more desperate as I sat up again, feeling he was close, hitch in his breath confirming it and his fingers going back to where they were before, intent on making me come at the same time, no complaints at all about that as I felt the gasping get back into the same rhythm for each of us, faster and more desperate with each thrust, me moaning and him making that same, low growl as his fingertips dug into my hips. I saw the flash in his eyes as he heard my breath catch, intensity building, muscles tensing, eyes locked together, unfocused but so aware of the look on each other’s faces, what we were doing to each other, unravelled and lost in it completely, how it felt in those last few seconds before everything got suspended and I heard _Alex_ echo across the room, head back and neck tense, feeling my muscles move around him, making him finally give in himself and let go, a string of expletives coming from both of us as we collapsed together, sheen of sweat covering every inch of skin . I stayed where I was for a few seconds, hanging my head, hair falling forwards, everything like jelly and elastic, feeling his arms holding me there for a second, breath hot and humid, before we ended up side by side staring at the ceiling, breathless, silence long and amazed, chests both heaving up and down for a few minutes.

“Wow.”

I nodded and felt his eyes turn to look at me, head falling to the side to meet his gaze, taking in the flushed cheeks, some hair plastered down on his forehead, eyes shining at me. “Yep. Wow.”

And I watched him smile slightly, felt my hair moved back off my forehead, and then felt myself pulled in again, his chin resting on the top of my head, hand moving down my back, breathing taking a few minutes to go back to normal, kisses coming back first before he murmured in my ear.

_Wow._

"You really mean _wow_...?"

I smiled, almost relieved there were _some_ nerves, and nodded, bringing my face back up to level with his, locking our gazes together. "I really, _really_ mean wow."

"Ok." Tiniest smile, biggest kiss. "Good."

"No." I nipped his lip and grinned. " _Wow._ "


	18. What If

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the comments and everything, guys! Sorry I couldn't reward your epicness quicker ♥

“Morning.”

The nibbling of my shoulder woke me up, luckily facing away from the window where we’d never shut the curtains, light blinding.

“Good morning…”

I smiled into the pillow and groaned slightly, stretching out and feeling some after effects from the night before. “Morning…”

“And now I find out you’re not a morning person…”

I laughed slightly and shook my head, another groan. “No I’m not a morning person. But I am smiling.” I propped myself up on my elbows and looked back at him, smiling and grimacing, first one slightly winning. “Which is a small miracle...”

“Ok, I won’t push my luck then and ask for a kiss.” He gave me an ‘eek’ face like I was some sort of sea creature and then grinned at the reply, satisfied.

“Ok fine I’m now a morning person.” I grinned and shared the promised kiss before snuggling down against him and pressing a kiss to his chest, arm around me and holding me in. _Safe. I feel so safe. Pathetically safe._ I was already curled up like I was hiding from a bomb blast, enough length in his limbs to surround me and make it feel like I could actually survive one. “Alex?”

“Hmm?”

I felt the vibration shimmer through my hair and clung on completely, him feeling the sudden, random and terrifying sense of desperation go through me, arm tightening its grip around me in response. 

“Are you ok?”

_I’m ok. I’m just…_ I nodded and bit my lip, desperate now to not explain, not have to risk scaring him, and to admit to anyone in the world other than Bea that I wasn’t maybe completely bulletproof. But that went out the window quickly as he shifted down the pillow slightly, eye to eye, and his fingers brushed my cheek. “Hey. Open your eyes.”

I did, nervous, wondering if he’d read it. “Hmm.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing wrong.”

“Livi.” Serious voice, eyes searching mine, big and brown and captivating. “You can tell me. Anything. You can tell me anything and it will be ok. I promise.”

“Hmm.”

“Tell me.” Kiss and another look. “Tell me now. Please.”

“Ok.” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again, that feeling like a better defense than anything. “I never felt like this before.” _I sound like a small child hiding from a bomb blast, too._

“Well how do you feel?”

“No.” Gulp. “I mean, I’ve never felt like this before. This. You.”

“Ok. Well me neither.”

_How are you not terrified by that._ “And that’s not scary?”

“Maybe.” Fingers brushed gently through my hair and I felt brave enough to open my eyes again, his hovering right in front of me, that spark of affection reminding me too much exactly what I meant. “It’s scary. But only because I worry you don’t feel it. And seems like you do.”

“I do. But what if-“

“No what ifs.” He smiled and pressed a finger against my lips, grin widening as I pouted at it and then tried to nibble it. “We don’t do what ifs. Since 2011, we don’t do what ifs. We do today, we prepare for tomorrow, and we don’t do what ifs.”

“2011? You mean Marc’s crash?”

He nodded and the affection got even more, if that had been possible. _But that’s kind of the family business. Making the impossible seem normal._ “Yeah. So don’t worry.” He pulled me back in to where I had been before, feeling me relax and planting a kiss in my hair. “I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”

“But what if-“

“No.” I felt him shake his head and smiled into his chest, still curled up.

“Sorry. I just…it’s scary. For me. To be so invested in someone. There is only one place I should feel safe, ok? In my own bed, with the doors locked, with a light saber.”

He laughed at that and gave me a squeeze. “There’s a really bad joke about _my_ light saber in there somewhere.”

I giggled at that, both of us shuddering at the movement, and then felt it go back serious again as he carried on.

“But you feel safe? Here?”

I nodded and felt myself melt as he really made sure we were pressed flush together. 

“Well that’s good. Because you are. And we can stay like this as long as you want. So just poke me when you want to get up.”

_Maybe never._ “What if I never poke you?”

“Then I’ll have to keep waiting. No what ifs.”

*

I did poke him, eventually, feeling the panic of _oh my God what would I actually do if this disappeared_ finally start to disappear, realising with a strange mixture of relief and horror that he'd caught a glimpse of the sort of mess in my chest that hadn't really still been sorted out after the last few years, and months. We ordered room service and ate it, toast crumbs, in that way they always do even when you sound the toast-crumb alarm before you eat it and are very careful, ended up rolling around in the sheets with us, sandpaper on skin, annoying more because _how_ do they do it rather than any real irritation at it, and then we shared a shower, and he watched, captivated, as I put on liquid eyeliner, and then we checked out, thinking everyone would have disappeared, and finding Emilio sat in the reception area very much not disappeared.

“Hi…?”

“Morning.” He coughed and looked up at us, surprised, giving us a wary smile. Or rather, giving me a wary smile. “You still here?”

“Was going to ask you the same thing. You’re meant to be testing aren’t you?”

“We are. They are. Lunch. I’m waiting for them to tell me if Marc is ever allowed to stay in this hotel again.”

Alex laughed and grinned at that, eyebrows raised. “Oh?”

“And Dani. But Dani didn’t seem that bothered.”

I grinned at that, brain conjuring up all sorts of amazing 80s rockstar scenarios, before the manager sighed and shrugged. “Personally I don’t think it was that bad. They are next to the track, so I don’t really know how they’ve made it this far without someone doing things like this.”

“Ok pleaseeee tell me what they did.” The Moto3 rider gave the older man puppy dog eyes and sat down opposite him, me mirroring him and waiting.

“You didn’t hear it last night?!”

“No.” Cough, red face, Emilio catching on immediately. “We were a bit busy…”

“Ah. Ok…well your brother commiserates better than he celebrates. And Dani the opposite. So it was one big party, and ended with a race from there…” He pointed just outside the front door. “To there.” The distant back door out into the gardens. “In full leathers, only knee and elbow sliders allowed to touch the floor.”

We looked at each other and then giggled, both seemingly thinking the same thing, along with the general image of that: _but…DANI?!_ “Oh…”

“Yeah. Marc won.”

“Fairly?”

The manager grinned at Alex knowingly, one eyebrow raised, and then shook his head. “Nope. He basically grabbed Dani, sat on him and then threw himself over the line.”

We both giggled at that image, still feeling the same _but DANI?! REALLY?!_ , before I had another nerves-creating fake confidence moment.

“Damn.” I shook my head, feigning heartbreak, and then grinned at the 1999 champion. “The one time Marc actually sat on Dani and I wasn’t there to see it.”

He went red, Alex went red and turned to me, eyes wide, mouth half open half grinning, unbelieving. “Excuse me?!”

I shrugged and grinned, loving the way only me and Marc seemed to be able to create that look on his face, between horror, joy and complete embarrassment. “Just a joke…”

We both looked back at Emilio, who had no idea to deal with it, very very amused but face red, also maybe a tiny hint of panic in his eyes, _yeah, maybe you’ve asked that before, too,_ and then retraced our steps back to the car, back to Vienna for a late lunch in a pavement cafe.


	19. Back To The Rat House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rathaus = town hall in German...all I can do is apologise for how shit the joke is ;) ♥
> 
> THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING! ♥ hope you like it!

“Can we tweet a picture, please?” He smiled across the table, eyes wide and eyebrows raised, before sucking some more milkshake up the straw and looking at me with the most adorably innocent face. “Pleasseeeeeee?”

_You’re a prince. Really._ I stole the milkshake and took a sip, him really not caring at all and looking smug about it, before I shrugged. “Well…are we doing that? Really public? Like… @LiviOhNotLoi is my girlfriend? Like…the Maverick Viñales kind of thing…?”

“What?!”

“Yeah! He’s one of those who’s all ‘this is my girlfriend’...But then you have the king of the social media girlfriend-“

“Aleix Espargaro..or…?” He accepted all of that and its wonderful weirdness with no problem after the initial _this weird world outside the paddock_ look, amusement taking over, then frowned slightly as he tried to figure it out. “Well it’s between him and…”

“You’re trying to decide between _lalindaa_ and _inlau_ , right?” I grinned and laughed at the _what the fuck?!_ on his face and nodded. “Yeah sorry they stick in my head like that. Like Scott Redding…I have genuinely called Scott Redding _Redding Power_ in conversations before.”

He giggled and took back the milkshake, getting down to the bottom now and the noise in the straw like Noo Noo from the Teletubbies, which I knew was too old and British for him to understand, me having half grown up there, but it suddenly hit me and left me giggling at him, everything suddenly pulled into focus and incredibly weird, air and breath becoming a problem, him joining in because of how crazy I’d gone, begging me to tell him why. “It’s just weird, you won’t laugh.”

“Try me.”

“Ok.” I took a few big gulps of air in and ran my fingers under my eyes to catch the laughter tears a bit. “There’s a British children’s show that I used to watch when I lived there…I mean, when I was the right age for it. And it’s called Teletubbies and its kind of nonsense, but the main characters had a hoover called _Noo Noo_ and that sounded just like it…” I looked at his face and smiled, feeling too much affectionate _aww_ bubble up at the expression for me to do anything but pull him in for a kiss to wipe the _what the fuck I want to laugh because you are and I love seeing you laugh but I really can’t because it’s not funny_ off it. “I told you…”

“You did. Fair enough. But-“

“I know, I know.” I giggled again and then coughed, grinning at him. “It’s just…a few weeks ago, everything was different. So different. And now, somehow, I’m sat in Vienna with YOU, drinking a milkshake, weird childhood memories, best sex of my life, leaving everything behind, so much to look forward to…it’s all just a bit insane. And slightly hilarious.”

“If this is slightly, remind me to stop trying to make you laugh.”

“Ok.” I smiled back and nodded, making the same noise with the straw. “Your jokes are shit anyway.”

“You love them.”

“Yeah.” We stared at each other for a few intense seconds before he took a deep breath and steered us back on course, that word sending a flash of nervous fear across the table. “I do.”

“Well…ok. Back on topic. You know…Marc’s kind of…famous, now. I mean really famous. I’m kind of known because of that already, but if I keep doing well then that’s going to get worse, you know? So…I don’t know…is that ok? I mean, is that going to be a problem?”

“I thought you didn’t do what ifs…?”

“This isn’t a what if. This is a ‘prepare for tomorrow’.” He fake glared at me, shaking his head.

“Ah ok. Big difference?”

“Yes! Big difference!” He whacked my knee under the table and grinned, nodding.

“Right, ok. Well…I don’t know. I mean…it would never make me walk away but I can’t say I’ll find it easy. Is that fair?”

“Yeah. Very fair.” His hand caught mine across the table and squeezed, finger tracing over where you could still see a tan line from my wedding ring if you looked really closely. I thought that would remind him of something negative, but instead he just smiled at me, nodding, eyes seeming to invite me to replay the _I would have left anyone for you_ , reassuring me it wasn’t a problem. _Which I should be doing for you, but apparently older does not mean wiser._

We tweeted the picture, he tagged me, I watched my Twitter explode, and his, Marc the little bastard also retweeting it, and then everything went even crazier, and we sat in a park on the grass, or more accurate, we lay there for an hour or so, my head on his stomach, his hand playing with my hair, looking happy and him certainly feeling fairly happy, but I was seriously gritting my teeth underneath, before eventually feeling it bubble over.

“Jesus Christ! People are so mean.”

“Hmm?”

“Seriously…this girl is literally just telling me to fuck off. And she looks about 12. And another one calling me a bitch. And then this one is even worse. And she’s-“

“Livi…” Affectionate warning that I was getting too worked up. “What did you just say.”

“She told me to fuck off?”

“No…” Weary, affectionate patience. “Next bit.”

“She looks about 12…?”

“Yeah.”

“Well she does.”

“So…maybe she’s a jealous kid and really not worth the time to get annoyed about it.”

I growled at the plain, obvious common sense and closed the app, staring at the sky for a few seconds before giving in and re-opening it again with another growl, his slight laugh moving his stomach muscles up and down with my head on them. “Put it down if it’s annoying you!”

“Pff. You’re still on there.”

“Yeah but I’m not mad. I’m ok with it. Stupid people exist, but so do nice ones, so I’m just reading those.”

“I think I’m only reading the bad ones.”

“I know.” He laughed slightly and prodded me in the side of the head. “Stop it.”

“But I-“

“No. Put it down.”

“No!”

“Right, fine.”

I waited for a possibly physical attack but none came, then thought maybe I’d actually won, then looked back at the screen of my phone and realised one does not simply defeat a Marquez.

@alexmarquez23: @LiviOhNotLoi PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN ♥

I grinned and pushed my head against his stomach, making him yelp slightly. “Don’t make it worse.”

“I’m not. I’m just not going to let it affect anything.”

“Affect anything?”

“Me and you. Why do I care if strangers like it or don’t?”

“Because they’re being mean about my hair?”

“Well…” He sat up and moved my head onto his lap, staring down at me and smiling. “Maybe they are. But I love your hair. And your eyes, and your legs, and your ass, and your everything. All of you. So don’t change them for 12 year olds on Twitter, keep them for me, and everything’s fine. Right?”

_Goddamnit._ I smiled and pouted up at him and then nodded, leaning up slightly to receive a kiss. “You make too much sense. My age and maturity feel threatened.”

“Being a Marquez made me wise. But secretly.”

“Secretly?”

“Well we laugh too loud for most people to take us seriously, so…”

“Yeah that’s true.” I yelped as I got poked and then sat up, next to him, both ending up cross-legged. “But that’s a good thing. Hidden depth.”

“Maybe…or maybe it’s sometimes really fucking annoying. I mean, what if-“

“WHAT IF?!”

“Pff.” He grinned and looked away, then looked back down at me and smiled. “ _What if_ you hadn’t seen that? Hmm?”

“Well…I did. So you prove yourself right. No what ifs. Pointless.”

“Did you just say I’m _right_?!”

“Yeah.” Pout. “Don’t make it worse.”

“Wow. I feel very honoured today.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“I live with Marc. I’m not.”

I smiled at that and then took one last scroll through the responses. _Ouch, ouch, ouch_. But then I looked back at him, and annoyingly, he really was right.

“Ok. Fine. Just this once, you were right. Now we need to go.”

“Can’t we stay forever?”

“No.”

“Pleasee?”

“No. Races to win, people to overtake…” I pulled him to his feet and started the journey back to the Rathaus car park. 

“Yeah, actually…it’s Silverstone next…”

“I know.”

“Another European race…”

“I know…”

“Another weekend where you could cheer on Dani…”

I squeezed his hand and nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it. I think I can do Saturday and Sunday if you want…?”

“YES. I want. And sleep in my motorhome. Like a proper girlfriend.”

“Oooh!” I grinned and nodded. “Sounds good. Although I think the hotel was good this weekend…”

“Yeah. Definitely.” He grinned back and wiggled his eyebrows. “But next race, if you’d be there…that would be amazing.”

“Well I’ll try and sort it.”

“Well then I’ll _try_ and change my sheets.”

“Wow.”

“I know. Commitment.”

_STOP IT._ “Just one question, 18-year-old-Moto3-rider…” I pulled him to a stop and raised an eyebrow. “When you change those sheets, who washes them?”

“HA!” His face went the smuggest shade of smug in the world. “Me! I do my washing. If you want the proper teenager in our house, that’s not me.”

“Let me guess.”

“Yeah. I think he knows our mum kind of likes doing it and isn’t really that bothered about pride.”

“As long as he doesn’t have to do it.”

“Exactly.”

“Well that’s good because I am not washing your shit. Ever. Unless it’s at least 40% my stuff as well.”

“To be honest, I think she’ll love you so much you could post your laundry to Cervera and she’d do that, too.”

_ARGGHHH._ I smiled and pretended to consider it. “Maybe sometime…” _Stop using that word. And stop being adorable. And stop being so casual about things like actually meeting her._ “You want me to meet her, then?”

“I do. But she would kill me if my dad and Marc had met you and she hadn’t. So if you want to see me alive again, you’re going to have to wipe that look off your face…” He grinned and poked my cheek. “And stop being terrified of everything I say that goes beyond _tomorrow_. Ok?”

“So you admit you keep doing that?”

“Yup.”

“And she won’t hate me.”

“Nope.”

“Does she know about me?”

“Yup.”

“How much?”

He grinned and laughed and then started pulling me along again. “ _Too much._ And on that topic...did I hear you say _best sex of your life_?!”

"No..."

"Ha! So I got something else right."

"No..."

"Just give up."

_Yes._


	20. Mutual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gone a bit quiet...hope that's because I'm impatient or you don't need to complain rather than because you're getting bored? ;) ♥
> 
> Let me know how y'all feelin'? (yeah, still missing Nicky.)
> 
> And as always, thank you ♥

It took a couple of hours for two things to really sink in, when I was playing and re-playing it over in my mind on the flight with his head lolled onto my shoulder, sound asleep and again impossibly angelic.

_You asked me about fame, about if you keep doing well, about all of that. But that kind of fame is going to be years._

And the second one.

_“But I love your hair. And your eyes, and your legs, and your ass, and your everything. All of you. So don’t change…”_

I told myself tens of hundreds of times to not read too much into that, before the seatbelt light came back on and I had to nudge him gently awake. “Hmm?”

I looked down at the ruffled hair and blurry eyes and the expression in them, trying to take a snapshot before it changed and got more awake. Because even when he really wasn’t sure where he was and really didn’t want to be woken up, there was _still_ that same spark of affection in there when he looked at me. Unconsciously. _And probably the same in mine. And at some point, we’re going to have to talk about that._

“We’re going to land soon. Seatbelt.” I smiled and pecked him on the lips as I leaned over to grab the seatbelt and did it up for him, that making him relax back into the seat again, eyes closed, smile, hand finding mine and giving it a squeeze. 

“Thanks, mum.”

“Not funny. Go back to sleep.”

“Already.” He made a few little snoring noises and then cracked one eye open. “Have I drooled on you?”

“No.” I grinned and shook my head. “Don’t worry. _That_ doesn’t run in the family.”

“Ok that’s good.” He smiled again and settled back with his eyes closed. “Livi?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m tired. And it’s still so far to Cervera…”

“I know, baby.” 

That word elicited a little pout through the smile. “So…”

 _Finally._ “So you actually think you have to ask?”

That sent both his eyes shooting back open to look at me. “Really?”

“Yes, Mr 100%.” I grinned and pinched his cheek, no other gesture capable of communicating how incredibly, heartbreakingly adorable he looked. “You can sleep at my apartment. I’ve been waiting for you to ask all day.”

“That’s mean. I’ve been trying to dare to ask you all day.”

“I thought-” I got the rest of what I was going to say stolen by a kiss, him fully awake now, arm pulling me in to lean on him and finally freeing my shoulders from cramp of 2 hours with a heavy head on them, worth every second for the breath-taking view. “Just testing you wanted to.”

“Never do that. Assume I want to. Assume I want two things: a) you, and b) to win races and race.”

“That’s very sweet, but also the wrong way around.”

“Ok yeah maybe a bit. Level?”

“If you didn’t want to race and win races as much as you do, I wouldn’t l…” Cough. “Like you as much as I do.”

He picked up on that and I felt a nervous little breath move us slightly. “Well, good. Because that’s the one thing that will never change. The thing I can control, anyway.”

“Hmm?”

“Well I can’t force you to _like_ me, can I?”

I grinned and felt some red-faced relief at that and the way he’d said it, lacing our fingers together as the lights of the coast started to move up closer towards us, trying to sound as innocent as possible. “Oh. Is that not what’s been happening?”

He smiled at that, both of us looking out the window, before finally turning back and fake-glaring at me.

“Sometimes? Just sometimes…I hate you.”

I grinned and nodded, definitely agreeing. “The feeling is mutual.”

*

“Have you brushed your teeth?”

“No.”

“Have you even taken off your clothes?” I whipped the sheets off him and stared down at the same jeans and t shirt. “That’s a no.”

“Hmm.”

“Don’t go to sleep yet…come on…”

“Nooooooo.”

“Teenager alert.”

“Don’t be evil. I’m tired.”

“So am I. But when adults go to bed they have to get changed and brush their teeth.” I grinned as he flipped me off and his hand collapsed back onto the bed. “Or at least one. Would you like me to help?”

Nodding and smirking.

“Right, ok.” I gave a fakely exasperated sigh as I crawled over him and sat on him, maybe a bit too hard and sending an _oof_ of breath at me. “T shirt. Arms up.” He complied with a massive grin, eyes still shut, loving the whole thing, and I threw his t shirt across the room before unsnapping the button on his jeans, moving back to pull them off, them ending up on the _Alex’s clothes_ pile too, then one sock, then the other, and then found myself pulled down for a kiss. 

“Ok. I’ll take it from here.” He smiled, eyes open again, seeing the hint of disappointment on my face, before I understood what he meant as I got pinned down and he started to pop open the buttons on my shirt.

“I thought you were tired.”

“I am. It doesn’t have to go that far.” He leant back as I sat up to let him pull the shirt off, hand undoing my jeans. “But this part is equally fun.”

“It is. But I did just eat a lot of food. So it’s also slightly like torture.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Eh?”

“I told you before…I think you’re amazingly beautiful and that includes everything, not just when you just left the gym and you’ve not eaten for three days.” He smiled at the look on my face and nodded, putting a full stop on that point by planting a kiss just above my belly button.

 _Perfect._ “Well you’ll be a heartbreaker when you grow up.” I watched him blush and smiled. “I’m joking. You’re perfect already.”

Another blush.

“Seriously.” I nodded and traced my finger down his chest. “You’re perfect. This little scar here…this one here…” I watched my finger as it made his skin shiver. “All perfect. All Alex Marquez, which is my favourite.”

He smiled at that, looking quite timid again, not really sure how to take that when it was serious and directed at him by someone who cared, and wasn’t just screaming. “Thanks…?”

“Believe me, _it’s my pleasure._ ” I sat up again and wound my hands round his neck, letting him unclip my bra, again either very skilled, very concentrated or very lucky, or maybe all three, and then slowly lay back down, him pulling the straps down my arms. _It’s amazing how comfortable this feels. Not boring, just right._ “Sleep?”

He nodded, threw the bra across the room, and then propped himself over me, eyes on mine. “Sleep. I am really tired. I’m just worried you’ll th-“

“Don’t worry. I won’t. As long as you'll be here in the morning.”

“Ok. And I will.” He let himself lean a bit lower and kissed me before lying down next to me, face to face over the pillow, both automatically throwing the last piece of clothing over the room, sharing a smile at how neither of us had doubted if that was going to happen or not as I clicked off the light. “Goodnight.”

“Ok, no. There’s tired, and there’s mean.” I moved in closer and ran my hand down his back, pulling him in. “I do want a goodnight kiss.”

“Ok. I can probably manage that.” He responded and wrapped me up as close as possible, lips on mine and hand edging down my back to my ass, making me shiver. "Goodnight."


	21. Alex Marquez Is My Gynecologist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I think I'm getting braver...? ;) No plot whatsoever. 
> 
> ♥ thanks for all the everything!
> 
> Couldn't resist the title...I love The Mindy Project and I may steal more titles ;) (two already planned ;))

“Morning.”

_So fucking chirpy._ “Mornjdf.”

“Still not a morning person?”

I shook my head into the pillow and disappeared under the sheets before he joined me under there, not giving up. 

“It’s 930. Come on…”

“Noooo.”

“Come on….”

“Nooooooooo…”

“Right, that’s it.” 

I grinned and braced for the attack, thinking it would be a tickle or a kiss, and being _very_ wrong as I felt his hand go straight between my legs, mouth onto my neck. My eyes shot open and I moaned and shifted slightly so he had better access, too positively shocked to process it, feeling him smile into my skin, before I ran a hand through his hair and immediately gave up on sleep. “Ok morning…morning….” _How do you have skills, baby. How do you have SKILLS._ “Morning morning morning morning morning…” My voice got higher and shakier until I eventually couldn’t really speak, his mouth now half way down on the journey to Platform Wet and Excited. _But will it get there._

It did, and my hands bunched into the sheets as his tongue circled my clit, once, twice, tremors making me writhe slightly and weld my head against the pillow. _Jesus fucking Christ._ “Alex…”

The hum as he answered sent another wave of fireworks through me, words undoubtedly coming out of my mouth but no idea what they were, the word _fuck_ appearing repeatedly every time his tongue went back up to that sweet spot, eventually realising that and staying there more, flicking and sucking, more swearing, nose grazing it again each time his head dipped lower and I could feel his tongue straining, feel the pressure building, muscles tensing, hear my breathing catch and get louder and louder, little whimpers that seemed to encourage him. “… _Alex_ …”

His mouth hummed again and my fingers dug into the sheets even more, the reminder, almost, of _who he was_ and hearing his voice even more exciting than what he was doing. And then he circled again, once, twice, sucking again but not moving back, leaving the hot, wet heat exactly there, tongue darting out and flicking, gentle but incredibly accurate, two fingers slowly joining in and slipping inside me. I clamped my eyes shut and felt myself start to literally scream. _FUCK._ ”… _close_ …”

I felt another vibration that might have been _I know_ before the pressure got stronger and rougher, rhythm faster, fingers moving in time, and grabbed his hair way too hard to hold him there, another string of swear words before I felt my back arch towards him and my eyes rolled back in my head, stars swimming behind my eye lids, muscles spasming as I came in a wave of desperate writhing and heard his name echo around the room. _Fuck fuck fuck._

I collapsed back onto the bed, eyes still shut, chest heaving, and heard a satisfied little chuckle in the back of my brain. _Skills. How do you have skills._ I opened my eyes after a few seconds, vision starting to return to normal, or a stoned version of normal, and looked down as he wiped his face on the sheet and then crawled back up so we were face to face, evilly adorable grin staring down at me, sweat covered forehead and breath still hard to find.

“Good Morning. Awake now?”

I smiled back at him, still kind of slack jawed and uncommunicative, and ran my finger through his hair as he smiled back and leaned down to line my neck with kisses. “…yeah…”

“Good.”

His gaze locked on mine again and I moved up towards him to make the hint, legs going round him to pull him down, feeling his erection against my stomach and clamping us together. “And now you don’t even have to try and hold on….”

“Pride.” The word got lost in my mouth as I smiled and nodded against him.

“No pride. Come on.” I pressed my lips against his ear and ran my hand down his back. “Just _fuck me._ ”

I loosened the grip of my legs to let him move lower, everything still incredibly sensitive and making me bite his lip slightly harder than I’d dared to before as he slowly pushed inside me, eliciting a delicious yelp before I wrapped my legs back around his waist and held him there for a second. “3, 2, 1…” He grinned and sunk his teeth into my shoulder as he started to move, fluid motion in his hips only interrupted as my fingernails dug into them, pulling harder and harder every time I felt him start to be more gentle, forcing him to take until eventually he got the message and gave up, thrusting hard and desperate, breath shallow, grunting at me and then growling as my fingers dug into his ass cheeks, pulling them apart slightly and running a finger through the crack to his hole, that either making him desperately turned on or panic absolutely, I wasn’t sure, but his eyes flashed with something incredibly intense, burning at me, black and filled with complete lust, before he closed them and growled again, neck tensing and suddenly stopping, letting himself go and collapsing on top of me, swearing. 

I wrapped my arms around his back and held on for a few seconds, kissing a gentle line down his neck, listening to his breath start to slow, the feeling of being so connected overwhelming, before he rolled off me and stared at the ceiling, panting.

“Fuck.”

_I know._ “Yep.”

“Fuuuuck…” He let out a kind of whine, letting everything sink in, grinning, before I felt myself pulled in towards him again, tongue finding mine, exploring again, gentle again, soothing the taste of blood and the bruised lips.

“Good morning.”


	22. #Besame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ thank you ♥
> 
> Sorry very tired. *besitos*

“Alex?”

“Hmmm…?” He shifted slightly next to me and then propped himself up on his arms, looking at my face then shaking his head. “No.”

“You don’t know what I’m going to say!”

“You want to get up.”

“Hmm…no. I don’t _want_ to get up, but I do want food.” I poked him and smiled at the little yelp in return. “What I mean is, I will die very shortly if I don’t get food.”

“Shame.” He turned over to face me properly and grinned, eyebrows raised. “Because I already ate, so…”

“ALEX.”

He just grinned at my face and nodded, loving it far too much. “Yes?”

 _Ok well I don’t actually…_ “I don’t actually know I just felt like I should be offended.”

“Pffffff.” He grinned again and then sat up, back muscles like the world’s most gloriously sexual tapestry, my fingers automatically running over them. He looked back and smiled again. “Ok, food? Where has food? Food is here?”

“Was that meant to make sense?”

“Yeah but your fingers are distracting me.”

“Says the sexual alarm clock.”

He laughed at that and nodded before pulling me up with him and yawning. “Ok. Do you have food or do we need to go and get food?”

“I have no food. Well, I have a jar of Nutella and a bottle of red wine.”

“I think that’s a perfectly acceptable breakfast.”

“It’s not even the morning anymore.”

“Brunch.”

“Still not.”

“Well, I guess you’re right. Nutella and red wine for _lunch_?! That’s just way too far.”

I giggled and the poked him in the back. _Stop being so fucking PERFECT all the goddamn TIME._ “I agree. So…the question is…are you ready to head out into the big wide world?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether you promise _you_ won’t get freaked out if I get recognised.”

“I won’t. Promise.”

“Ok, then…yeah. But round here, not further down to-“

“No, round here. I think that’s a better idea.”

“Ok.” He nodded and threw the sheets back, leaving both of us sat there exposed. “And one other thing….”

“Yes…” I sighed, faking the exasperation, knowing the tone too well already, secretly very excited at what I _knew_ was coming next.

“Shower.”

I cracked into a grin and nodded, getting out and pulling him after me. “Sounds like a deal.”

*

“I’m not going to make it.” I stopped and leant on my knees, grinning at him and motioning towards the door. “Go on ahead without me.”

“Ok…” Friendly exasperation. “This…” He waved his hands at me to indicate my whole situation and then put his hands on his hips. “Is too similar to Marc. I’m hungry too, but you just take a breath, focus on the positives, and keep walking towards the café.”

“Can’t.” I pouted and shook my head. “Won’t. I’ll die before I arrive.”

“Livi…” I could tell he was in that strange mid-point between genuine, bone-crunching irritation and humouring, happy affection. “Please…”

“Just tell them that I liked their croissants the best and scatter me in the Seine.”

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, mouth smiling but getting more and more irritated. “OLIVIA. WALK TOWARDS THE CAFÉ.”

“Make me.”

“I will drag you.”

“I’m too heavy.”

“Right, that’s it.” He walked back the few paces towards me and I thought he was going to drag me, but instead he just smiled, all business-like and not-taking-any-more-of-this-shit, and then picked me up and started marching us the last few yards towards the door. Maybe I screamed slightly, and wriggled a bit too much, before he put me down outside and nodded at me as if saying _well, you made that happen._

“Wow.” I fluttered my eyelashes at him and grinned, pulling him in and wrapping my arms round his waist. “You’re sttrroonnngg.”

“Yep.” He nodded down at me, completely ignored the 1940s Hollywood flirting, and then gave me a squeeze before opening the door and pointing inside. “Go. Food. Get heavier.”

“Hey!”

Eye roll. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

I shrugged as though I was very annoyed, stomping past him and sitting down at one side of a table, grabbing the menu, staring down at it and making my voice sound as annoyed as possible. “Well I suppose I’ll be having the garden salad, then.”

“Don’t.” He laughed and I could feel his eyes on my face. “Don’t be mean, you know I was joking. Please have steak. Eat 4 kilos of chocolate, I really don’t care what you…” He trailed off and coughed, my eyes now back on his, eyebrows raised and waiting in smug amusement. “Maybe I’ll rephrase. I care what you look like, as in…I think you’re beautiful. BUT…I care more what you _feel_ like, so if you would like to eat a herd of rhinos, that is fine and will not change how I feel.”

 _NAILED IT._ I really grinned at him, leg finding his under the table and watching him relax, feeling slightly cruel but also in awe. “Sorry. I _was_ joking...” _Just once, I think I’d actually feel better if you fucked up and offended me. To prove it’s possible._

“I know. I’m used to it by now, it’s ok.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, like I said on the plane…sometimes I hate you.”

“Well like I said on the plane…sometimes I hate you too.”

I felt his foot nudge mine again and then found my hand laced through his, both of us grinning down at the menu. _And sometimes…_

*

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

I looked away from the TV and up at his face, curled around him on the sofa, staying over another night. “What?”

He waved his phone in my face and swore again, growling at it. “My brother.”

 _Of course._ “What did he do now?”

He laughed at that, movement jigging me up and down, and then sighed and relaxed his head back, staring almost at the ceiling. “I love how you’ve only met him a few times and you know the question is _what did he do NOW_ …”

I shrugged and giggled slightly at that too, sitting up more and then taking the phone as I was offered it in lieu of an explanation, looking down at the screen and biting my lip to stop laughing. A picture of Alex’s empty bed.

“Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not.” Cough. “I’m not laughing at all.”

He fake-glared at me and took it back, sighing again and eyes closing for a second, whiny giggle coming out. “He’s evil.”

“Well, could be worse.” I poked him and got out my phone to reply. “At least this time you’re not actually in it.”

*

@marcmarquez93: I think @alexmarquez23 has been kidnapped! He didn’t sleep in his bed last night and he’s still not home… any ideas @LiviOhNotLoi? ;)

*

@LiviOhNotLoi: @marcmarquez93 @alexmarquez23 jajaja :P

I attached the drool picture from the plane.

DM @marcmarquez93: @LiviOhNotLoi nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Jajaja

*

Alex went for the ‘ignore and conquer’ approach.

@alexmarquez23: Goodnight! #moonlight #Barcelona #besame ;) @LiviOhNotLoi 

And _he_ attached a picture of me, smiling at him and blowing a kiss in Plaça Reial, on our previously promised moonlit walk, eyes wide, lips very red, eyes focused just above the camera, where his had been, looking at him in a way I _knew_ the second I saw it I’d never looked at anyone before. And he seemed to sense that too, looking at the picture and then back at me, putting his phone back in his pocket, pulling me back in, and taking the kiss he’d been promised, stood under a streetlight like a cover shot from a Carlos Ruiz Zafón novel.

“Livi?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I stay until Friday?”

 _I hope you mean the first Friday in March, 2073._ “Well…I have to work in the day...at least a bit, anyway...”

“I know. That’s fine. I should train, too.”

My brain decided that was a good time to remind me of the impending flyaways, knowing I couldn’t go to all if any and making me nod and squeeze his hand, suddenly huddling a bit closer. “Then yes, you can.”


	23. Don Juan de Cervera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU so much for every comment/kudos/read....I love you very much for it, I hope you keep liking it and as always feel more than free to yell about anything...good or bad ♥

“So…”

_You and that word._ “Yes…?”

It was now Thursday night, or evening, and I was just finishing the piece on Vienna and Bratislava. He’d been for a run around the much quieter area that I lived in, a few people recognising him but no one stopping him, and I was very impressed in the new steely nerves at being in public, and alone. But after that, he had been a complete nightmare and would not leave me alone.

“When will you be done?”

“About 10 minutes. I’m proof reading.”

“Ooooh ok. What are we doing for food tonight?”

_Ten minutes once they start, not ten minutes if you keep interrupting._ “I don’t know. We can talk about it in ten minutes.” 

He gave me an ‘eek’ face and went back to staring at his phone. “Ok…sorry…”

I smiled at the laptop at the adorableness and then took a deep breath, begging my brain to focus for 10 more minutes. And I did, and finally sat down next to him and nudged him. 

“Done. Food?”

“Wooooooo!!!!” He grinned and wrestled me down onto the sofa in a messy kiss, everything immediately rumpled. Which was fine, because ‘everything’ was an Alpinestars t shirt and jogging bottoms. “FINALLY.”

“Hey! I told you I would have to w-“

“I know, I know. I just didn’t realise how hard it would be to leave you alone.”

_Well when we get to Motegi, you’ll definitely have to get used to that._ “I know, me too. But I’m done now. Dinner?”

“Yes.”

“Shall I cook or shall we be lazy? Again?”

“I definitely need to test your cooking skills at some point, but…lazy? You’ve been working. Sorry I can’t cook…”

“Test my cooking skills? Hmm?” I poked him and narrowed my eyes. “And why’s that?”

“Well I’m hoping I will be running from the airport back here in a few weeks and you can reward me for my victories with lots of home cooking and kisses…”

I smiled at that, feeling the little zing of the joke I could see he’d been trying to dare to make, the one with the word _housewife_ in it, before thinking better of it. “Well yes please run back here. And please win. And…kisses, yes. Cooking…maybe.”

“So you’re not coming to Japan?”

_You sneaky fucker._ “Well…Motegi no. I can’t. I only just went there…I can’t do it again.”

“But you could take leave…?”

“I could.” I nodded and prodded the cheeky grin. “But I could also take leave properly when you’re not busy, and we could do something together…?”

“Ok. Fine.” The tone was disgruntled but his eyes were beaming at me. _Yes, I’ve thought about it._ “So where do you want to go?”

“Well you have no smart clothes here, do you?” I’d relented the day before and done the washing, for my sake if nothing else. “Did you have smart stuff in Brno?”

“I have a shirt and dark jeans? Will that do?”

“Yes. That will do. And we’ll have a proper _date_ …sound good?” _God we’ve never even had one. Not really._

“Perfect.”

“Ok, give me a while to get ready and _do not come in the bedroom._ ”

*

“Wow.”

“Like it?” I did a little twirl and felt myself melt as his arms went round me and he nodded, eyes on fire.

“ _Wow._ ”

“Good.” I looked back at him and shared the feeling, him looking iridescently fantastic, as always. “I thought you’d like it.”

“I do. Because…” He trailed off and skimmed his hand down my back, pressing his lips against my ear and making me shiver. “I can see _every_ curve.”

I nodded into his chest and squeezed him in return, pulling away to look back up at him again. “You know you make me feel beautiful, _all the time._ ”

“Well you are.”

“I don’t know about that. But I know I’ve never felt so…” _Loved._ “…I don’t know. I’ve never felt like someone really, really gets their breath taken away. By me...”

He smiled down and nodded, hand tracing the hair behind my ear. “Well you take my breath away. Clothes, no clothes, make up, no make up…”

_I know. And it’s amazing._ “I feel it.”

“Good.”

“And I feel the same. I hope you know.” I ran my hands down his back and into his back pockets, squeezing. “It blows my mind that _you_ want _me_.”

“I’m not sure I’ll ever understand that.”

“Well I don’t think you have to.”

"Good. Right...how long have we got to get to the restaurant before you kill and eat a homeless man?" He grinned at me and then swore as I whacked him. "Ouchy."

"Not sorry."

*

Dinner was fantastic. Maybe we’d spent the week falling into the trap of touching more than talking, but we spent the meal arguing about everything from the German World Cup victory, Iker Casillas and Ryan Villopoto’s possible European switchover/retirement/James Stewart and drugs to Catalan independence, Hamilton vs Rosberg and Oscar Pistorius. Which sounds bad, but it wasn’t, because we both had more than enough respect for each other’s opinions, which I think positively surprised him slightly (I’d been age-teasing maybe a bit too much) and made me feel a bit guilty about possibly being a bit overbearing sometimes. But, the main joy for me was that the eyes looking back at me over the table, flickering candle reflected in them, were just interested. Nothing else. Understanding. Thinking about it. Turning it over, sending it back, asking me questions I maybe hadn’t considered. And compared to having spent 5 years feeling like a Padawan learner with severe learning difficulties in the face of an academic for a husband whose only respect for someone came from the letters he could read after their name, that was incredible. Then we got frozen yoghurt and wandered around town for a while, down to Plaza Catalunya, him tweeting a picture again, going back to talking about racing and pissing around, and then Tito Rabat replied to it. So we found Tito, joined him and whoever he was with, wine flowing relatively freely by this point, and Alex got almost 20 amusedly jealous, passive aggressive but affectionate texts from his brother about the fact he hadn’t been invited.

Alex: _Sorry bro, cool people only._

Marc: _I’m watching our parents watch TV. That’s how exciting my evening is._

Alex: _Go out for a drink…?_

Marc: _I have no wingman :(_

Alex: _You really, really don’t need one! ;)_

Marc: _Need and want are different…_

Alex: _I’ll be back tomorrow, stop it :P_

Marc: _I think you beat me on this one, anyway._

Alex: _????_

Marc: _Luuuurrrrrvve ;) jeje_

Alex: _Shhh! I haven’t told her yet! :P ;)_

Marc: _YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING_

Alex: _I’m the serious one._

Marc: _Or stupid…_

Alex: _Mature. (irony)_

Marc: _:P_

He rang a couple of times, Alex amusedly showing me the screen and the word _Marc_ flashing on it, but keeping the texts very quiet, before another round of:

Marc: _ANSWER THE PHONE_

Marc: _PLEASEEE_

Marc: _You can’t say things like that and then ignore me!_

Marc: _I’ll keep calling until you pick up…_

Marc: _Oh wait actually maybe I’ll call Dani and see what he thinks.. ;)_

Alex: _DON’T YOU DARE._

Marc: _So you are still reading these then :P_

Eventually he relented and excused himself from the table, going outside onto the terrace and answering him.

_“Ok, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”_

“I think so, yeah. And hello.”

_“This isn’t the start of the conversation so pfff. But really? I mean, really?!”_

“Getting there. I really am. I think in a couple of weeks…maybe before, I don’t know. It sounds insane…but…if you think about how much time we’ve spent together…that would be like 40 or 50 dates if you add it up. And I just want more. I…I don’t know. I keep thinking ‘how do you know?’ but then I can’t imagine anything could feel better than this.” He smiled at Marc’s _aww_ and vomit noise before carrying on. “But maybe I’ll wait a bit longer so it seems more sensible and then I’ll tell her. Don’t want to scare her off…”

_“Well I don’t think you’ll do that…”_

“Why?”

_“The way she looked at you in that picture…I think you’re ok on that one.”_

“Really?”

_Still so unsure. “Yeah, really. I’m almost jealous.”_

“Says Don Juan de Cervera?!”

_“That’s very unfair.”_

“Hmmm…maybe…”

_“You know mum is going crazy not having met her yet?”_

“Ah…I thought she might.”

_“Yeah, I think if you tell her you love her and you do love her before she meets her…I think she’ll kill you. And I won’t take that bullet this time, it would be deserved.”_

“Hey! For starters, I am definitely the one who takes the bullets for _you._ Secondly, I know…and to be honest I was thinking about asking her to come up sometime before we leave for England, but…I don’t know. She’s nervous.”

_“Mum or Livi?”_

“Livi!”

_“Well Mum’s nervous too.”_

“Really?!”

_“Yeah I think she’s worried that Olivia wants your money and your ‘Alex Marquez’-ness rather than you.”_

“I was worried about that too.” He listened to Marc respond to that and smiled to himself. “For at least the first hour…”

_“Oh. You’re enjoying teasing me far too much.”_

“Yup. And on that note, I’d better get back to my incredible mojito-fuelled evening with my good friend Tito and my beautiful girlfriend Olivia under the starlit sky of Barcelona.”

_“I hate you.”_

“Love you too.”

_“You knew what I meant. Bye.”_


	24. No Further Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ thank you ♥

By 1230am, we had officially given up on sobriety. Tito and ‘Tito’s other friends’ (we couldn’t remember a single name but I did annoy Alex by referring to one of them as ‘Mr Pretty’) were drinking, a lot, so we drank, a lot. And we’d never been drunk together before. It was messy.

We’d decided to walk back ‘home’, which is the word Alex had used and made us stop and grin at each other with a bit more sobriety. The walk, normally taking a lot less time than the genuine hours we needed to get there, stopping and bruising each other on a few walls on the way back, was a steady zig zag that probably doubled the distance, hands together or arms locked or, for a few streets, a piggy back. By the time we reached my street we were starving again and ate a random collection of snacks from the one shop that was open, crumbs ruining the last remaining bit of class we’d managed to retain, but we did keep it reasonably family friendly past the door on the street until we were in the hallway fumbling up the stairs, desperation starting to grow and slamming us through my front door, tongues and hands everywhere, groaning and grunting and inaccurately groping. 

*

“So, I’m not a morning person…but I think I deal with hangovers better than you...”

He nodded and winced again, hunched over a coffee at my table. “Yeah that’s true. And sshhh.”

I smiled at him and kept our eyes locked together as I took a sip of coffee, slurping on purpose and making him wince again, eyes still burning at me. “Sorry…”

“I don’t think I’m going to be popular tonight.”

“Who’s coming to get you?”

“Marc. So at least I have an extra hour to be sick.” He put his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes for a second, focusing on _not_. “Urgh GOD WHY.”

“I know. I don’t know why I’m ok.”

“You didn’t mix. I mixed. I mixed and …did I… _dance?!_ ”

“Yup. You did. Well. If my memory is accurate anyway…and by well, I mean…I think we went a bit far…in public…”

“Don’t.” He blushed slightly at that and stared into the coffee again, grinning and trying not to. “ _Don’t._ ”

“Don’t blush.”

“But in _public_ …”

“Yeah well…no one cared. Except me. And I liked it.”

“Ok I’m really sorry but I’m actually going to be sick.” He sent me a facial expression full of equal parts love, horror and embarrassment before running off to the bathroom. _Poor baby._

“Don’t worry. You want me to hold your hair back?”

I listened for an answer, wincing at the sound of wretching, before finally one came.

_“You can’t see me but I’m giving you the finger.”_

*

“So…thanks for letting me stay.”

“No problem. Thanks for staying.”

“Sorry if I was annoying when you were trying to work…”

“Only most of the time.”

He grinned at me and then wrapped me up in a hug, lips pressed against my ear, sun burning down on us and both squinting slightly. “This feels really weird.”

“I know.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat, which was plainly ridiculous given that it was only going to be a few days, and nodded. “It does.” _It feels wrong._

“So I’m going to try one more time…” He pushed me away slightly to get eye contact and put my hair behind my ear again, smiling and his eyes tracing that movement. “Are you going to visit before Silverstone?”

_SHHHHHH._ “Like I said…maybe.”

“That’s as good as I’m going to get, isn’t it?”

“Yup. Sorry, I jus-“

“It’s ok. I understand.” He pulled me back in and pressed a kiss into my hair before he started to leave and I grabbed him back, not caring about the World Champion in the car watching, or pretending not to, smashing our lips together and trying to say everything I didn’t think I could yet manage out loud. 

“Be fucking careful. No more Marquez broken legs this season.”

“I will.”

“And don’t take any shit.”

“I will.” He grinned again, nodding at me, slightly breathless, and then slowly walked over to the waiting white Honda and got in.

_Bye bye baby. I’m going to miss you like hell._

I watched them drive off, looking fairly composed I hoped, and then sat down hard on the doorstep and bit the back of my hand to stop myself crying. _Get a grip. It’s going to be days._

*

Alex: _Miss you already. Xxx_

Livi: _I know. ♥_

Alex: _I’ll call you later, is that ok?_

Livi: _More than ok. I’ll be asleep early though… ;)_

Alex: _Jeje SO WILL I. Urgghhhhhhhh. I forgot about Marc’s driving…want to throw up so badly._

Livi: _It would be good revenge to be sick in his car ;)_

Alex: _I’m trying to prove I’m mature…_

Livi: _Fuck it, just do it. ;)_

Alex: _I have a feeling you’ve said that to yourself before ;)_

Livi: _Never! Never about you. And it was never the best thing I ever did. ;)_

Alex: _Please visit…my mum is dying to meet you! (and obviously I miss you already and it’s been…9 minutes, so…_

Alex: _")" (he got left behind)_

Livi: _MAYBE. And idiot :P_

Alex: _Ok…and :P and I realised what I was meant to say. It didn’t feel weird driving away, it felt wrong. xxx_

Livi: _♥_

And I did maybe slightly just a little bit but not really…cry. Just a tiny bit. _Read my mind._

*

It was so strange. The whole place – the whole point of which had originally been a space where only I could touch anything, move anything or do anything – now felt eerily empty, and I spent the rest of the afternoon sat on the balcony, writing, a different kind to normal, just writing everything and anything down, feeling better for it, chain smoking, feeling worse for that, hangover still there but not as bad as it could have been. 

_Miss you._

I forced myself to not text him or call him, at least for a few hours, and then was rescued from my patheticness by Bea, who brought wine, took one look at the dry heave that created, and then went for coffee for me and listened patiently as I whined, and then even more patiently as I gushed about him for another half hour.

“So you’re going to go and visit, right?”

I cringed at the inevitable question and shrugged. “I honestly don’t know…I mean…that’s terrifying. Like…Marc? Ok. I’ve spent a bit of time with him and it’s ok, just some teasing…but he…I don’t know. He accepted it straight away. Accepted me straight away…even when Alex wasn’t talking to me all weekend, I had a drink with him and Santi, you know? So that’s fine. Julia seemed fine, although it was about 3 words…but…” _But his MOTHER. His MOTHER. That everyone teases me I AM._ "...his MOTHER."

“Yeah. I know.” She grinned at me evilly as she took a sip of wine and watched my face still betray my _bleh_ at even being near it. “But I doubt there’s going to be anything but love from that family. You know my Marquez jealousy issues…”

“I know.” I smiled and nodded. “I understand, and I’m sure I’m being stupid and I’m sure they’re the nicest family ever. But _if_ they accept me…”

“So what worries you?”

“My age. His age. How deep we’re in, already. How much he’s not been home. I’m worried they’ll feel like I stole him or something. And then…sleeping up there…that’s going to be cringeworthy. That’s what he asked, as well. So I can’t just go up for the afternoon or anything…”

“Ok, stop.” She grinned at me and put her glass down. “Stop stressing. What’s he actually said to you?”

“Umm…”

“Knew it. He’s told you that she’ll love you, right?”

“Maybe…”

“And who knows her better, Alex, or your paranoia?”

I mumbled _Alex_ under my breath, scowling and knowing she was right. “BUT…I think my fears are valid..?”

“It’s good to be a little bit nervous sometimes. It shows it matters. But...honestly?”

“Always.”

“Honestly, I think you’re a bit scared at how everything’s going so well and your brain is making everything that’s still left to find out like the biggest thing in the world. But you already did the hard part.”

“Hmm?”

“I think he’s head over heels. At the end of the day, that’s what actually matters.”

_I know._ I took a deep breath and nodded, following her out onto the balcony for a smoke. “I know. But-“

“I know, I know.” She grinned at me and lit one for me, passing it over. “So let’s leave that for a while. What’s the story with Jordi?”

I sighed and shrugged, taking a long drag and watching the smoke disappear from the pool of light around us. “Keeps calling. I don’t answer. Left a message downstairs with the door guy. Kept calling. Texting.”

“Hmm. But he’s not shown up again yet?”

I hung my head and sighed again. “No. And I guess the word ‘yet’ answers my next question…”

"Ah. Yeah...sorry..."

*

_"Did I wake you up?"_

"No."

_"Are you naked?"_

"Yes!" _Is this really what these conversations are going to be, now?_ I smirked and wriggled under the sheets slightly. "Very naked."

_"Ok I changed my mind because I might fall asleep and that would be mean because you are soooo hot."_

"Ha. You had another few drinks, didn't you?"

_"No...."_

"Alex..."

_"Ok but only like 7 or 8..."_

"7 or 8?!"

_"Joke. 2 beers. Actually helped, once I'd managed the first sip. How about you?"_

"Not too bad. Alive."

_"That's good. I prefer my girlfriends alive."_

"I prefer the word 'girlfriend' in the singular..."

_"Ooooh!"_ I heard him giggle and smiled into the pillow. _You're too cute. "Don't worry. Singular. I'm not that guy."_

"I know. Don't worry. Miss me?"

_"Fucking loads. I forgot how bad empty beds were."_

"I know. I'm actually hugging a pillow."

_"Awwww..."_

"I know, pathetic. And it's _your pillow_!" I gave a pantomime sob and smiled as he laughed. "I'm never going to wash it."

_"Then I am never staying over again."_

"Ok I surrender."

_"Marquez wins again."_

"Under investigation by race direction; exceeding track limits."

_"Shiiiiiiit."_

I giggled and sighed happily down the phone, everything seeming a whole lot less pathetic than the desolation of the first hour. "Ok baby, I'm going to sleep now."

_"Me too. Dream of me...?"_

"You know if the government are listening to our phone calls they're going to be vomiting everywhere."

_"And that's not a fair deal?"_

"Hmm good point. Race direction will be taking no further action."

_"Woooooo!"_

I smiled at the even more tired and lazy but still excitable tone and took a deep breath. "Ok, night."

_"Goodnight."_

I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before I couldn't resist.

Livi: _No further action...exactly. Jeje ;) Enjoy the single bed, baby! ♥_

And then again 2 minutes later.

Livi: _I'm really really sorry..._

Alex: _Whyyyy?_

Livi: _Er...I text-tweeted that...._

Alex: _AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH seriously?!_

Livi: _Yes so...goodnight, don't have nightmares! ;) *awkward smile and puppy dog eyes* sorryy ♥ trying to delete.._

*

@marcmarquez93 retweeted one of your tweets! 

*

Livi: _GO AND KILL HIM_


	25. Cut and Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had it planned a little differently but mainly through fear of this, but I'm taking the plunge :/ ;)
> 
> Stay with me... ??? :/ I really hope you do... ♥ thanks so much so far!

Livi: _How bad has it been?_

Alex: _Twitter or Marc?_

Livi: _Both…_

Alex: _Twitter mostly just funny but very embarrassing. Marc…you told me to kill him… :/ ??_

Livi: _Oh ok. Need help with the body?_

Alex: _No it’s ok, my parents were surprisingly helpful ;) jejeje…how are you?_

Livi: _Ok. Jordi won’t leave me alone._

Alex: _♥ sorry…but on the phone, right?_

Livi: _So far, yeah._

Alex: _Well you can come up here and get away. Or I can come back later in the week after we’ve done more training in Rufea…_

Livi: _I know. I’m sorry I’m so nervous…_

Alex: _Nervous?_

Livi: _Sorry, nervous about your mum liking me! Not about him! (if that made you worry)_

Alex: _Oh ok. Yeah it did! ♥ and don’t be stupid. She will love you. Like everybody does._

_Like you do?_

Livi: _Well I miss you. :( a stupid amount, because it’s been 2 days. ;) but I think I might come up…_

Alex: _Wooo!! :D :D really?!_

Livi: _Yeah. I’m only sat here worrying.._

Alex: _Do it! Pleasseee? You can live all your teenage dreams ;)_

Livi: _What?!_

Alex: _Single bed, parents house…having to be quiet ;) table manners…and you’ll definitely have to watch your language, Miss. ;)_

Livi: _You make me sound like a zoo animal :(_

Alex: _Yeah…?_

Livi: _To prove you right: FUCK OFF ♥ ok then. Probably. Give me another few hours to think about it. (and ok maybe some part of me likes the single bed ;))_

He didn’t reply to that for a while before eventually it buzzed again.

Alex: _Hi this is Marc. Please don’t come here. My mother will hate you. Thanks, Bye._

I stared at it for a few seconds, eyes wide and heart pounding, 99% sure it was a joke but still panicking, and then giggled. _You absolute bastard._ I was trying to think of a witty reply before realising he’d probably panic more if he thought I’d taken him seriously. Sure enough, 4 minutes later I got another one.

Alex: _Ok this is Marc again and that was a joke, please reply :/ because I have too many death threats against me already :P_

2 more minutes.

Alex: _Just joking she will love you please?!!_

Livi: _Jejeje did I make you panic? ;)_

Alex: _No…_

Livi: _Give your brother his phone back and DO NOT READ THE MESSAGE THREAD._

Alex: _Jejejejeje too late ;)_

Livi: _I’m coming to Silverstone, you know. And I think you’ll blush more than me :P_

Alex: _Sounds like you’re coming up here too…and I doubt it ;)_

I didn’t reply to that, sat waiting for the inevitable before it came.

Alex: _The irony is I was making coffee for him. ♥ traitor._

Livi: _You should send him off to Aleix for a few days and get him some affectionate big brother lessons ;)_

Alex: _Ewwww no :P_

Livi: _Jaja I know. He’s 93% perfect ;)_

Alex: _:D as long as that doesn’t make me 12% perfect then yeah!_

Livi: _Ok fuck it I’ll come up and visit. When?_

Alex: _Wooooooooo!! Oh God do I have to thank him now?! ;) and Tuesday?_

Livi: _Definitely not, it was all YOU. And ok then :) I’ll drive up and meet you outside the University building or whatever it is._

Alex: _You’ve been to Cervera before?!_

Livi: _Yes, baby. I’ve been to Sabadell too ;) #Daniiiiiiii_

Alex: _Freak :P_

Livi: _Jeje. But sound ok?_

Alex: _4pm outside Catalunya Caixa?_

Livi: _Come alone and make sure you’re not followed._

Alex: _Make sure the briefcase is handcuffed to you._

Livi: _Mmmm handcuffs._

Alex: _Please don’t be cruel. ;) ♥ right, after that I’d better go and wank._

Livi: _ALEX_

Alex: _*innocent face*_

Livi: _I can’t even see it but just the memory is enough to forgive ;) ♥_

Alex: _See you on Tuesday. I might be sore :/_

Alex: _I meant from Rufea…_

Livi: _That’s what they always say ;) ♥_

The phone went once more, a photo of said-innocent face, and I stared at it for a few minutes before it took a couple of hours for it to sink in what I’d agreed to, then I started to panic.

*

Sunday night the bed felt cold, Monday night the bed actually felt ok again, memory fading and letting me enjoy the space, and after the 54 phone calls from Jordi, and one doorstep show up, the panic at going up to meet Roser had faded into relief that I was getting away. And seeing him again, obviously. I drove up with no problem and suddenly I was rolling past the Repsol station and down to the terrifying junction I didn’t understand, following signs for the center of town, parking at the end of the street that I thought would lead me down to where I was meant to be meeting him, checking my hair in every shop window, 93 flags everywhere, that making me feel very strange. Because I remembered being there as just a fan, bored one afternoon and dragging Bea the Lorenzo die-hard up to visit the town after watching Planeta Calleja, going to see the bikes in the little museum, writing in the book. _And I think I wrote something about Alex…?_ I looked up to see the sign announcing the fact that I was on that street, checked my watch and then went in, paid my Euros, sure the woman knew my face somehow, smug about why, and how one day or at some point she’d probably realize, and then spent 10 minutes flicking back to try and find what I’d written, eventually finding it.

_Amazing :) but you’d better watch out, ‘the little brother is coming’ ;) #TeamAlex_

_And also, my friend here says she’s not forgiven you for Jerez yet. Jeje_

Bea had written #TeamJorge next to that.

I smiled at the words on the page, amazed at how different everything was, freaked out slightly that it was before Alex was even 18, and then realised I’d better go and do my last de-stress and find him, given that he was rarely late. _And there’s no Pedrosa to give you and lift and make you on time up here._

I walked back through the ant curtain towards reception, pausing to watch a bit of the film, saying my goodbye, and then stopping as the woman called after me. 

“Why didn’t you say?!”

I stared at her, wondering how to deal with that, before she smiled and held out my 3 Euros back. I shook my head. “It’s ok.” _Actually recognized._ Maybe if I was Marc’s girlfriend I’d take it…”

She grinned at that and shrugged, nodding. “Ok. You’re not here with Alex? That would definitely be free entry.”

_Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll be getting some free entry later._ I nodded and smiled again. “I’m going to meet him now. I just came back to look what I wrote in the book earlier this year...before...”

“About Marc?”

“Both of them.”

There was an awkward pause before she coughed and carried on. “Well…he certainly seemed very happy on the TV.”

“Thanks.” _Thanks? Or Yeah? Or ‘me too, yay!’ What do I say?_ “…we are..?”

We shared another slightly awkward smile as I attempted to assess whether that had sounded bitchy before I was back out on the street, walking into a bar and buying 20 Marlboro lights, still a while to go, nervous as hell.

_Who knew love could cancerously and slowly kill you stone dead._

I ended up with a beer sat outside, texting Bea, feeling myself get less and less nervous, almost excited, and then looked up.

_Fuck. Of course you choose today, right now, to really step it up a notch._ I felt my heart start hammering and gritted my teeth. _Of course you do._

He walked over, nervous but purposeful, eyes deader than I remembered, although the eyes I’d been looking into recently were extremely alive.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Finding you.”

“How.”

“Followed you.”

“Some people would say that was stalking.”

“My own wife?”

“Not for long. And I’m a person. Not a title. Or a possession.”

“Here we go…”

“You seriously have the cheek to follow me to _Cervera_ on a Tuesday afternoon and then get at _me_ for my attitude?”

“Just calm do-“

“How about you fuck off?”

He stared at me, mouth dropped open, eyes wide, going redder and redder, getting angrier and angrier. “How about you-“

I was readying myself for whatever it was going to be, tunnel vision on his face, ignoring everything else other than that, and the cigarette he was hating me smoking, hand shaking through a lot of nerves and anger, somehow intimidated as fuck but braver than ever at the same time, and didn’t notice until the barman was stood in front of us, motioning at Jordi.

“Is there a problem here?”

He was looking at me, eyes seeming to understand perfectly the situation, and who I was, and I found myself raising my eyebrows at my soon-to-be ex-husband, daring him to complete the sentence. “Well, I don’t know. Is there?”

He stared back at me for a few seconds, nostrils flared, before turning his eyes on the barman. “There’s no problem.”

“I don’t see you walking away.”

I smiled slightly down at my ashtray at that, nodding, and then looked back up to see him _somehow_ actually trying to intimidate the stranger savior. _Very threatening, with your trousers and belt and tucked in shirt ironed too much and too buttoned up._ I sighed and got to my feet, nodding at the barman once, then again when doubted, smiling my thanks and then grabbing Jordi by the elbow and dragging him back down the street, not saying anything, pulling my phone out of my pocket and texting Alex something had come up and I was going to be late, before ending up back at my car, quieter and less people around, prepared for maybe having to yell, or cry.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Since when did you swear so much?”

“Since I decided I could do what the fuck I wanted. Since when were you a stalker?”

“I’m not stalking you, Olivia. I’m just trying to talk to you.”

_Urgh._ “Did the fact that I ignored you for a week not make my point? Or when I told you it was over and I was divorcing you? Or the fact that I’m with somebody else?”

“Somebody else?!”

_Ah, fuck. You don't know that._ “Yes. Somebody else.”

“Well it’s not too-“

“YES, IT’S TOO LATE. And now I’m late as well to meet him. So thanks.”

“WHY is it?! I don’t und-”

“BECAUSE I DON’T LOVE YOU.”

“And you love _him_ , whoever he is, that you’ve been with five-“

_Yes but maybe best to lie._ “I don’t know yet. But I don’t love you. I don’t love you and I want you to get back in your car, drive back to Barcelona and leave me the fuck alone. Ok?”

“No, you don’t und-“

“No, YOU don’t understand! So I’ll say it again, in a simple, concise way: FUCK. OFF.”

“NO.”

I felt my eyes widen and took a step back as he took one forward. _Oh dear._ “What do you want me to do then? Because I have plans. I’m here for a reason.”

“Him.”

“Yeah. _Him._ To see him, to meet his family. To get on with my life with someone who _cares_.” I bit my lip as I felt the outrage start to fade into something else, still incredibly angry and righteous but suddenly overwhelmed by a wall of everything, by how much time I’d lost, by how many bad decisions I’d made, by how I was never going to be able to rewind, by how I never would anyway if it meant never meeting Alex, by how lucky I was for that to have happened, by how much I really didn’t deserve him and his wonderfulness after lying and dragging this mess to the door of an 18 year old Moto3 rider with the most famous motorbike rider in Spain as a brother. Mainly, by the knowledge that I really wouldn’t and couldn’t rewind, and that meant that I had to be there, screaming at this now stranger on a street in a rural Catalan town, making the mother of all scenes. _Because I can’t have one without the other. No cut and run this time._ I took a deep breath and felt myself get suddenly, scarily calm, locking my eyes back on his and taking the step forward I should never have taken back a minute earlier. “I went to Brazil to get away from you before. I’m not fucking running this time.”

And I’d laughed slightly, affectionately, at Alex’s nerves about Jordi in that text. I’d felt my heart melt at how cute that was, and how it had seemed so over the top at the time, thinking _aww baby don't worry, you don't know him._

And then he smacked me in the face.


	26. An Officer and a Gentleman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for all the comments/kudos/etc ♥ makes such a difference to writing! And to life ;) ♥ hope this isn't a let down..! :/

It took a few seconds for me to realise what had really happened, hand going to my face, fingers coming back red, pain of it hitting my consciousness a bit late. Shocked? Very. But it wasn’t the first time I’d been hit in the face (drunk woman in Madrid got there first) so it was shocking how and why and _who_ , but I didn’t freak out too much, I thought, given that I’d been punched in the face out of nowhere. I looked back at him after a few seconds, eyes flicking from the red of my fingers up to his face, feeling myself really glare, jaw clenched, and watching him realise in a flurry of panic what he’d done, where and to whom.

“You fucking idiot.”

I spit a bit of blood out at his feet and shook my head.

“You fucking _idiot_.”

He was still staring, wide-eyed, maybe more shocked than me, still panicking, waiting and waiting to see what I’d do. And I really, really wanted to be that person who turned the other cheek. And I realised Alex probably would; maybe not if he’d seen this, but if he’d been hit himself. But I wasn’t him, and I didn’t, and my foot had connected with his crotch before he was suddenly on the floor, screaming, and part of me was high-fiving myself at the satisfaction, and part of me was horrified. _It was clear cut. I hope it still is._

And the other part was left cringing as the police pulled up behind us and I panicked they’d only seen that part, before I turned to the guy running over to me and he saw my face, re-calibrated his opinion, and stopped yelling at me. 

And then the other part of me suddenly remembered everything else, and where I was, and why.

I listened to a bit of the _ok stay calm please move away from the…_ before nodding and scrabbling at my pocket for my phone. 

“Can I just text somebody really quickly..?” 

He looked at me like I was insane, nodding, pulling Jordi up off the floor, and I took a few deep breaths as it started to sink in.

*

“What the fuck?!” 

“What..?” 

Marc was on taxi driver duty again, although his brother could now drive, the habit had kind of stuck. And he had shockingly little to do for someone who ruled the world.

“I’ll read you the message: _Hi baby sorry I’m going to be late, some crazy stuff happened and I’ll try and call you in a bit…_ then after I asked what happened and where she was: _I’ll explain when I see you later, I’m with the Mossos D’Esquadra..._ ”

“Whaaaaat?!”

“I know. What the fuck?!” 

“Did you ask more?”

“Yeah I just got a ‘can’t talk now don’t panic’…”

Marc checked the rear view mirror before indicating and pulling over to be able to look at him and talk properly, silence suddenly reigning. “Well…what do you think happened?!”

“I’ve no idea?!”

“Well…I mean, I guess she’s not the criminal…right?”

“You really think my taste in women is that bad?”

“No! She’s awesome…but…”

“But?”

“But I was just checking! Calm down. Do you know anyone else she might have talked to, properly?”

“Probably Bea. Her best friend. And no I don’t have her number.”

“Ok, well... Bea? Second name? Or…twitter?!”

“Ok that’s actually a good idea.” The younger brother opened the app, clicked on @LiviOhNotLoi and DM’d who he really hoped was not a random Bea who tweeted me all day, got her number, and then was stressed enough to not be nervous until he was already three words into the conversation, when Marc noticed him suddenly tense up and look at him like a dazed rabbit, realising he was talking to a stranger, and an important one. 

_“I was told not to tell you yet. For good reasons though! You don’t need to worry, she’s fine.”_

“I don’t care what she told you to tell me, please just let me know what happened. Please…”

_“She said you might freak out.”_

“Well I can’t get more freaked out than I am already so pleaseee…PLEASE.”

_“I’m Bea by the way. Nice to ‘almost’ meet you...”_

“Sorry but please, just tell me.”

_“Ok well…Jordi followed her up to Cervera. They argued. He hit her...”_

Marc watched his brother’s face go whiter and whiter until he turned and looked at him again, a slow pivot with wide eyes, making him really nervous for the first time since he’d started rationalising that it must be something very minor, not able to hear the other side of the conversation. He watched him put the phone down, some manners back and saying a proper goodbye, and then watched him lean forward and dig his fingernails into the dashboard, knuckles going white, eyes closed and jaw clenched.

 _Oh shit._ “So she told you what happened..?”

“Yeah.” Gulp. “Can we go there? Please?”

“Yeah we can. You going to tell me?”

“Start driving and I’ll explain.”

 _Ok so actually something fairly serious._ He felt his own pulse quicken a bit and got them back in motion. “She’s ok though, yeah?”

“Hmm. She’s ok. But her husband hit her in the face.” 

_Holy fuck._ Marc took that in for a few seconds before risking a glance back at his brother, trying to weigh everything up, wondering which was winning: rage, tears, frustration, or shock. And then worrying about when they got there when he realised rage was most definitely winning.

“Shit. Well…let’s stay calm, and I’m sure she’s fine, and we’ll sort everything out. Ok?”

“Oh I’ll sort everything out. I’ll sort _everything_ out.” He smacked his palm into the dashboard, making Marc jump, and then turned to stare out the window. “Cunt.”

 _Calm. Please…_ He looked back at him again and turned the radio off, Alex taking a deep breath. _Please…_

*

By the time they got there a few minutes later, a bit of sense had returned, and Marc went in first, making the woman at the front desk drop her pen as _Marc Marquez_ walked in, beaming smile, PR everything turned on, and leaned on the counter, eyes on hers, Alex just behind him.

“Hi…”

Cough, blush. “Hello…”

“Hi...María.” He read the badge and then made eye contact again. “I think you have a friend of ours here.”

“Hmm?” Cough. “Sorry, by what name?”

“Alex’s girlfriend Olivia just got hit by someone. We came to see how she is, what’s going on…any chance you could find out?”

She stared up at him for a few seconds before nodding, still overawed by who it was, native of the town or not, and picking up the phone in front of her.

“Thanks…”

*

“You a bit calmer now?”

“Hmm.”

“You know she’s fine. Otherwise she’d be in hospital.”

Alex slowly turned to glare and then raised his eyebrows. “Thanks, that’s helping.”

“Sorry. Sorry.” Marc smiled at him and put an arm round his shoulders, that reasonably difficult given the height difference, and squeezed. “You know what I’m trying to say…”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Always.”

“You don’t have to sit here and wait you know.”

“Hmm…” Marc turned and smiled at him, pleased to see a much more normal Alex back in the place of the slightly scary one. “I think I kind of do. Call it my repayment for…everything?”

His brother actually laughed slightly at that. “Well to be honest I’d rather use that for something good. Like…well, just if you stopped, that would be fine?”

“That’s asking too much.”

Another slight laugh. “Yeah maybe I’d miss it a bit.”

“WHAT.” Marc grinned at him and bumped shoulders with him, letting themselves get distracted for a few seconds and easing the pressure before his voice went back to serious. “But seriously, whichever you want. I wait, or I go? And I can pick you up whenever, just call me…”

“Honestly? I hope it’ll be done soon, and I kind of want this moment for us.”

“…and the effervescent Officer María.”

“And María, yeah.”

“Ok. Do you think she knows we’re here?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what they tell you when you’re being interviewed…”

“Well yeah I’d hope you don't.” Marc smiled at him and got to his feet, stretching, already having waited a long time and feeling the effects. “Give me a call when you’re ready, then. I’ll explain to mum and dad.”

“Ok.” Alex mirrored him and pulled him into a hug, a real, tight hug, and nodded into his shoulder. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Always.” Marc squeezed him and then pulled away slightly to get eye contact. “You’re _sure_.”

“I’m sure.” Another hug, talking over his shoulder, noticing María noticing them. “I feel like I have to do this by myself.”

 _Ok baby brother. I understand. And I’m very proud._ He communicated that by giving him another squeeze and then ruffling his hair, earning a slight scowl, but also an expression of massive appreciation in his eyes. “Just call.”

“I will.”

Marc nodded, waved his goodbye to María, who blushed, and made him kind of blush as well, the _Don Juan de Cervera_ reputation definitely unfounded when no drinks had been added, and then walked back out onto the street, amazed it was already almost dark, looking at his watch and then pulling out his phone to call home, listening to it ring, holding his breath slightly, feeling a tinge of sadness at how badly Alex, and, he imagined, Olivia, had wanted this to be perfect, wanted to knock on the door and meet his mother in the best circumstances possible, and then his mother answered the phone and he let that feeling fade, aware most than most people of the pointlessness of ‘what if’. _We don’t do ‘what if’._

“Hi, it’s me. Sorry it was ages.”

_“Are you ok?”_

“I’m fine. Alex is almost fine, we think Olivia is fine.”

_“Ok, well that’s good. What happened?”_

“Not really sure. I just know that Olivia’s…” _Olivia’s husband that you don’t know about._ “…been hit by someone, but she’s ok, but the statements and everything have taken a while. Alex wants to meet her alone so I’m leaving, then I’ll pick him –them- up again later. Which I don’t think will be too long.”

_“Someone hit her?!”_

“Yeah…I think that’s kind of for Alex to explain. I’ll see you in a few minutes, ok?”

_“You’re sure he should be left there on his own?”_

Marc smiled at that and rolled his eyes slightly, nodding. “Yes, mum.”

_“Ok honey. See you soon, then.”_

“Yeah. Bye…”

*

I didn’t have a clue they were there. I just hoped my message had done enough to not make him panic but still tell the truth, and sat through hours and hours of statements and explaining and charges this, charges that, but aware that at some point after the initial few minutes they seemed to have massively defrosted from the professional, courteous caring into something that was very definitely, and relief-filledly, a big form of bias in my favour. That was a minute after Marc and Alex arrived, although I didn’t find that out until I was finally done, thinking I’d have a smoke, let it sink in, and then call him. But I walked back out through the double doors into the reception, the noise of the door causing movement on the other side of the room, and then felt my hands drop to my sides, one holding a bag of ice that had numbed my lip to acceptable levels of ouch, and saw him stand up.

 _Oh God, you’re here._

I stood where I was, frozen, feeling the breeze as the officer behind me took evasive action at me suddenly having stopped, Alonso reactions to be proud of, and met his eyes, suddenly conscious of the state of my face, and everything, of the time, of how I’d wanted this to be perfect, of how I’d really no idea that he’d been sat there. And the look on his face let me know that he knew what had happened, because there was no puzzlement at all, just worry and concern, some anger simmering away, and a lot of caring.

“Alex.”

He smiled at that and nodded, looking at me as if to say _what you really didn’t think I’d be here?_ , walking over and standing in front of me, finger instinctively going to my split lip, very gentle, as if checking it was real, before his eyes locked on mine, searching. “Hey.”

“Hi.” I gulped and smiled at the look on his face, answering the silent _are you ok_ , realising that maybe the whole ‘oh I’ll just call him later and calm down alone’ train of thought had been more than mostly bravado, trying to hold it together. “You’ve been here the whole time?”

“Pretty much. Marc’s going to come back and pick us up.”

“Marc was here?”

“Left about 20 minutes ago after I asked him to.”

“Oh.” I smiled at that, the good old big brother, and then felt myself suddenly wrapped in a hug, face gently pulled in towards his chest, conscious of the damage, and finally gave up on it, fingers curling into the back of his hoody and holding on for dear life. “Imrllglurhe.”

“Hmm?”

I felt that vibrate through me and moved my mouth out the fabric slightly, taking a deep breath to try and not embarrass myself. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Of course I’m here.” The words hummed into my hair near my ear and he squeezed me again. “What do you want to do now?”

“Go home.”

“When you say home…”

“Sorry. I mean go…” _Cliché alert._ “…with you.”

“I’m glad you said that.” He pulled away again slightly to fix his eyes on mine, seeming to realise the audience and why I was maybe somehow still in one piece, and then leaned down for a kiss, again very gentle, running his tongue over my bottom lip, over the split, making me almost whimper slightly, just at the gesture, and at everything it said. “So let’s go and call Marc, and we’ll go ‘home’, and we’ll have some food, and we’ll make sure we remember today for something better than what happened. Ok?”

 _I love you._ The realisation, truly, properly just _knowing_ , made me pause for a second before I nodded, tears pricking at my eyes, annoyed with that but not because he was seeing it; because other people were, taking a deep breath, letting myself follow him out, hand intertwined with mine, reassuring squeeze. _God, I love you._ “P-perfect.”


	27. Roser Without A Thorn

We sat on the curb waiting for Marc, like the couple of teenagers half of us were, me smoking another cigarette, him just sat completely still, holding me up as I leant against him, hand woven through mine and nothing much said, me not wanting to burst the dam until we were in private and him seeming to understand that perfectly. The only words he’d said since he’d rung his brother were a quick check if I was ok, followed by my _no, I’ll let you in later_ , received with a nod, patient as ever.

Marc got there, and smiled at me so differently to the cheeky guy I’d started to get to know, getting out the car to give me a hug, that again almost making me give up and cry, but not quite, intoxicated on World Champion. And we got in the car, drove to their house, and it took until we were stood outside the door, Marc going in first, Alex hanging back as I suddenly stopped, for me to realise what was waiting for me.

“You know you don’t have to worry about anything.”

“Hmm.”

“Look at me.”

I did, and swallowed hard at the look on his face, too much affection and worry in there. “Hmm?”

“You don’t have to be nervous here. I promise.” He took my hand again and gently pulled me to the door, then inside, and the door was shutting behind us and I realised that was it. We were in. I was officially visiting his parents. He walked us through into the living room, Marc appearing out the kitchen drinking milk out the bottle and sending me a wink before walking off, and then we were stood in front of Julia, and Roser, and my heart was hammering in my chest.

“Dad…Livi…you already met.”

“Nice to see you again. I hope you’re ok?”

The concern on his face was so real, eyes friendly and recognising, that at least immediately making me feel welcome, something familiar in this strange situation, something more than Alex connected to racing and Brno and the person I was a few hours ago before I’d had some of that almost literally knocked out of me. I smiled at him and nodded, taking a deep breath, realising I was maybe cowering against Alex slightly, feeling his arm snake around me as he somehow noticed the minute movement towards him. “I think I will be, thanks.”

Julia nodded at me and smiled again, before both our eyes turned on Roser and I took another deep breath as Alex did the introductions again. “Mum…this is Livi. Livi…this is my mother, Roser.”

I don’t know what I’d been expecting, but what I got was the widest, most motherly smile in the world as she took a few steps towards me and practically wrestled me disapprovingly away from Alex, seeming to think I should have been pushed towards her. She wrapped me in a hug, kissing my hair, giving me a gentle squeeze, careful of my face, holding onto me for a second. “It’s lovely to meet you. I’m so glad you came to see us.” She pulled away again, arms still on mine holding me in, and smiled. “And I’m so sorry for what’s happened today.”

“Thanks. I’ll be ok. I just wish I’d met you in better circumstances…”

“Don’t be silly. If there’s anything at all you want or we can help with-“

“I can look after her, mum. Ok?”

“I know sweetheart, but-“

“It’s fine. Honestly.” Alex kind of grabbed my hand to wrestle me back and smiled at his mother. “Thank you, but _it’s fine._ ”

“Ok, ok.” She smiled at me again and took a satisfied breath. “Well like I said, it’s lovely to meet you. And if you do want anything and Alex can’t help…” She sent him a look that seemed to say _she may be your girlfriend but you can’t cook and do first aid like I can, son_ , “…then we’ll do anything we can. Ok?”

I nodded, slightly choked up, the legendary and Bea-jealousy creating Marquez household warmth out full-force, and smiled back at her. “Th-thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now the food is almost ready and waiting, if you’re hungry.”

Marc chose that moment to yell back down the stairs _“that’s one thing he didn’t tell you – she eats like me,”_ footsteps getting louder, everyone with the same affectionate hatred on their faces, me going slightly red, embarrassing yes but also perfectly judged to make me feel a bit more normal, brain already thinking through replies I’d not dare give when making direct eye contact with his mother, before Roser rolled her eyes and smiled again. “Thank you, Marc.”

“No problem.” He walked back in and grinned at me, that coupled with the hand in mine finally starting to make me relax. “Yes, Marc. Thank you _so_ much.”

The older brother grinned again before fixing his eyes on Alex’s. “I’m right, though, yeah?”

_He_ looked down at me and gave me a sideways smile, shrugging. “Maybe a bit…”

And I smacked him on the arm, he yelped slightly, Julia and Roser looked at each other in a positive way, sharing something unsaid, and then we were sat around the table eating, talking, laughing, like it was completely normal. And it almost was, and I held it together, because Marc was kind of right. So maybe it wasn’t going to be pretty when I remembered everything again, but it was worth pushing it out of my brain for a while to eat. Because otherwise, as I’d told Alex many times already, I would die horribly within the hour of first feeling hunger. Marc sent me a few looks, checking I was ok, me wincing sometimes at my sore face having to chew admittedly delicious and welcome but slightly painful food, and I realised that I was starting to get the same kind of treatment as Alex: the piss ripped out of me as much as possible, but if or when something actually required help or anything serious, it was given freely and immediately. And Alex…he was sat close enough for me to feel aware he was still there, leg against mine, little gestures and touches shared that you didn’t really notice once you were comfortable with someone, but not close enough for me to have to cut him down to get at my plate, which I realised could have been an option since I seemed to get more hungry the more I managed to eat. And he explained the situation, fully, about who Jordi was, what had happened. And they accepted that, too. 

And then, too quickly it seemed, Julia and Roser insisted we didn’t help with the dishes and shooed us away. Marc went out; everyone aware that maybe we needed that moment, as much as watching it appear wasn't pleasant. The atmosphere was still warm, the house still radiating the nicest feeling in the world, but the quiet wasn’t enough to chase the memory of the day away, and I was gently pulled outside into the back garden, Alex stood behind me, arms round my waist, fingers going into my pocket and pulling out the cigarettes, sensing I kind of wanted one but was aware of where we were, pulling one out and slightly failing at putting it in my mouth, first hitting cheek and then nose, both giggling slightly, finally getting it right, then holding the lighter up in front of us and pressing a kiss into my neck as I took it. “I won’t try and light it. I like your eyebrows.”

I laughed at that, snuggling against him, and lit it before pushing the lighter back into my jeans, head back against his chest, smoke spiralling above us, feeling guilty about that but not enough to stop, feeling myself gently rocked from side to side for a few minutes as we stood there, lips humming into my hair. “So I think your parents like me.”

He nodded into my hair and gave me another squeeze. “I think they really do. And I told you you didn’t have to be worried.”

“I know.” I finished the cigarette and put it where instructed in a plant pot, ending up face to face with him this time, arms round my waist. “But it’s important. Because you’re important.” _You understand what I'm trying to dare to say?_

“Good.” A little smile, chaste kiss. “Because you’re important. And also I was right." _Are you really trying to say that?_

"Ok, yeah. Maybe you win this one. Just this once."


	28. 1 + 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beyonce song.
> 
> And thank you, so much ♥ 
> 
> Hmmm...some of the conversation could need a warning if you've ever been in the situation, or still if you haven't. I don't know, it's hard to judge. I just know it was strangely emotional to write, and I really, really hope you like it. ♥

I took the offered hug again, still in the garden, and melted against his chest, another few silent minutes passing before he pulled us back inside, refusing the offer of coffee, saying a goodnight for us, seeming to be able to say everything he needed in a few words as so often happens with close families, and then he was opening his bedroom door, and then it was closed, and I was sat on the edge of the bed suddenly aware that we were in private, properly, and bit my lip for a few seconds, breath slightly faster, knowing myself too well to not apologise in advance. “S-sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” The main light was replaced by a bedside lamp and his fingers curled around the hem of his – or now my- hoody, gently pulling it over my head, then one shoe, then the other, then my t shirt, the initial confusion replaced by another unceremonious sob as I realised what he was doing. “Adults have to get undressed and brush their teeth. Or at least one, right?”

I nodded and smiled through a few tears, aware this could look pathetic but somehow not feeling that at all. Just grateful. Looking forward to the moment when we were finally wrapped under the covers. “R-right…”

He smiled to himself, pulling off his own hoody and t shirt, and jeans, skin glowing in the low light, and then pushed me to lean back as he undid my jeans and I lay down to help him pull them off, everything in a tidy heap next to the bed before he pulled me back up, unsnapped my bra, put that on the pile, kiss on my neck, and then final underwear, before he got in next to me, arranging the sheets around us, pulling me in, arranging us how we’d been when I’d first really, really let my guard down, in the hotel, the morning after, how I’d told him I felt safe, light clicked off, low voice murmuring at me. “Ok?”

I nodded, trying to swallow down the tears, feeling myself start to fail, his fingers whispering lightly over my back, lips pressing a kiss into my hair.

“Livi, it’s ok. Please. I can’t imagine how it-”

I cut him off with a kiss, fingers digging into his back and pulling him in, no other way to communicate what I meant, lip sore but not enough to not make it worth it, cheeks wet and all of me starting to shake, kiss reciprocated with equal feeling before I was pulled in again and finally let go and really, _really_ started to cry, for I have no idea how long, no idea how loudly, not caring and being encouraged not to. 

*

“Marc’s staying out tonight.”

Julia looked up at his wife and nodded, smiling and sighing, satisfied that, if she was satisfied by whatever message he’d sent, he could be too. “Ok. What time is it?”

“11..30…4. Tired?”

“Yep. Do you think…er…do you think Alex and Olivia have gone to sleep?”

“Look at you, blushing!” She grinned at him and rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. I imagine they’re probably just getting a bit of privacy.”

“Hmm. Poor girl.”

“Girl?”

“Well…you know what I mean…”

“I do.” She nodded and held out her hand, pulling him up off the sofa. “Sleep?”

“Sounds like a good idea.” He smiled into a kiss and then turned the light off on their way out the room, checking the door was locked, plodding up the stairs, then pausing to look at each other as they reached the top, flash of blushing fear at hearing any kind of noise replaced by two equally regretful, empathetic faces, listening to a bit of it at least, unable to have not heard and then unable to walk away.

_“I’m just so sorry that I dragged you into this. I never thought he’d do-“_

_“Shh. Please stop it. It’s not your fault. You know that, don’t you?”_

Silence.

_“Ok I am going to keep asking you that until you answer. Look at me….right. You know, you KNOW, that it’s not your fault that he hit you. Right?”_

_“It’s not…like…abuse though. It was a moment of-”_

_“Livi. Ok, so he’s not hitting you for months or whatever. That doesn’t make a fucking difference. You shouldn’t be scared of him. And you were already a bit, weren’t you?”_

_“M-maybe a b-“_

_“Right. That’s the same thing. I don’t care how hurt he is or how much he doesn’t want to accept it…even before, you left the country because he wouldn’t leave you alone. And now he’s done it again, and this time he’s hit you. That is not your fault. People get hurt in breakups. And I know you didn’t want to hurt him, and I know you don’t like that. But it’s not an excuse. There is NO excuse. You understand? There’s no fucking excuse.”_

_“But-“_

_“There’s no buts. Me, Marc, my dad. Dani. Yeah, oh I see…Dani still makes you smile! Well…you could do anything to us. Anything, and none of us would ever hit you. There shouldn’t be a button you can push that sends someone crazy. It’s not anything at all you did or didn’t do. You didn’t love him, you left him. It’s that simple. He followed you an hour away from your house and hit you. So tell me, now, please. That you KNOW it’s not your fault.”_

Roser looked back at her husband, eyes welling up, seeing the same in return, 18 years of blood sweat and tears reflected in a pool of pride. _We did a fucking good job, somehow. We really did._

_“Ok. It’s not my fault.”_

_“Good. Again.”_

_“It’s not my fault.”_

_“Better.”_

_“Yeah. A lot better.”_

_“Please…just keep that in your head. Please. People who love you…they don’t hit you. Ever.”_

_“I know that. Rationally. I’m sorry I’m all over the place…”_

Julia motioned at their door, about to start moving towards it, both feeling guilty but desperate to hear more, emotions still running high at the fact that it was Alex _the baby_ who was saying those things, before the voices started again.

_“Don’t be sorry. Why are you sorry?”_

_“Because I’m a mess.”_

_“Hmm...it's not too bad. Your right eye is eyeliner-free, and I think most of your lipstick is probably on me by now, but-“_

_“Don’t. You know what I mean.”_

_“And you know why I’m joking. Don’t apologise for being you. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, ok? I…I love you.”_

They looked at each other, aware from the tone and the sudden nerves that they seemed to have just inadvertently heard Alex say that for the first time, almost as nervous as he was waiting for the answer, listening to it and then finally managing to pull themselves away before hearing anything else, aware that that was definitely going to be private.

*

_Oh my God._ “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously.”

I cut him off with another kiss, tears coming back, overwhelmed again, pulled against him as tightly as I could be, hand running down his back, coming up for air and taking a deep breath. “I love you, too.”

“Don’t feel like you have to rep-“

“I don’t. I love you. I really, really love you and I’ve been trying hard not to blurt it out in case you got scared.”

“Oh.” Another kiss. “Same here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You can ‘hashtag AskMarc’ tomorrow if you want. I told him when we were out with Tito and he called.”

I giggled at that slightly, chest feeling like it was going to explode, too much emotional rollercoaster over too short a time, letting that sink in, taking a few deep breaths, everything all at once, eventually ending up forehead to forehead with him, breath on hot each other's cheeks, maybe five or ten minutes like that until we were both calm, eyes closed, breathing steady, lips almost brushing as I spoke again. _Wow._ “Alex?”

"Yes?" His eyes opened again and locked on mine.

"Make love to-"

"Yes."


	29. Hooking Up Is Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I can only say sorry if it's a bit shit...my laptop died and stole the first draft which I hadn't saved :(
> 
> Sorrrrry. ♥ I hope it's ok-ish, and thank you SO MUCH for all the comments/kudos etc.
> 
> And the title comes from Mindy again. ♥

“Morning.”

The familiar scene, me groaning and getting further under the covers, him awake and happy about it, started again. “Noooooo.”

“Yes, my love. Good morning.” He chased me under the covers and found my mouth with his, tongue gently running along my injured lip, waiting to be let in, and being let in, a few minutes passing like that, definitely waking me up, before he pulled away again, slightly breathless. “Sorry I don’t think it would be a good idea to use my other wake-up techniques here…”

I pouted, grimaced as that hurt, and then nodded, stretching, settling back down under his arm as his hand started playing with my hair, having woken up together already enough times to know that this is what happened next. He woke me up, I didn’t like it, he made sure I did, and then I dozed for a few minutes. 

*

_“Morning.”_

“WHO IS THIS?!”

_“Didn’t you look at caller ID?”_

_Oh, it’s you._ “No. I didn’t. Hello.”

_“Morning. Were you still asleep?!”_

“Yeah. I was.”

_“Sorry! Although it’s past nine. So…you know…”_

“Hmmmm. What’s up? Why are you calling me?”

_“Because I need to tell you something.”_

“Ok. Hang on.” Marc sighed and untangled himself slightly from the sheet, looking around and remembering where he was. _Sofa. Urgh._ “Right. I’m kind of awake. What’s up?”

_“This is slightly embarrassing…but Alex pocket dialled me last night.”_

“Oh dear…” _Cringe._ “Er…was it bad?”

_“Not too bad. I think he told Olivia he loves her for the first time. And what happened to her? Did someone hit her?!”_

“Yeah.” _Oh yeah. Yesterday. All of yesterday happened._ He yawned and tried to really make himself wake up. “Yeah her husband hit her. In Cervera. Followed her…”

_“Fuck. Well what I heard makes more sense, then. Is she ok?”_

“Yeah I think she will be. Alex-“

_“Alex was amazing.”_

“Oh God…how much did you hear?!”

_“No! No. I just mean…he said all the right things. Very impressive.”_

_I shouldn’t ask but I’m going to._ “What did he say?”

_“Basically that people who love you don’t hit you, and that it wasn’t her fault. He said you, me and your dad would never hit someone, and that there’s no excuse.”_

“True. He said you?”

_“Yeah…?”_

“Sorry, I don’t mean I thought you would, I was just wondering why you.”

_“I think your brother’s girlfriend is a Pedrosa fan. And I hope that annoys you.”_

“Grrrr. Yeah she seemed pretty happy in Brno. Too happy.”

_“Well I think it’s cute. I like it and I have a plan.”_

“As long as it doesn’t involve stealing her, that sounds nice.”

_“It doesn’t. But…anyway…I was calling to say, try and delete the call log? Because I think he’d die of embarrassment.”_

“Ok. I’ll try when I get home.”

_“Oh, you’re not at home?!”_

“No, I’m at a friend’s house. Alone on the sofa, don’t sound too excited.”

_“Glamourous.”_

“Yup. But…you said he told her he loved her?”

_“Yeah. She replied, too.”_

“God. I mean…he said he might but..that’s pretty serious.”

_“Hmm…you don’t sound too happy about it?”_

“I am! I’m happy for them.”

_“But…”_

_But…_ “I’m just…worried.”

_“Worried.” By which you mean jealous?_

“Yeah…” _Yeah._

*

“Ok…ready?”

I nodded at the look on his face and yawned again. “Yeah. I look alive, right?”

“Beautiful as always.”

“Urgghhhhh.”

“Still…”

“Urgghhhhhhhhhhhhh…”

“Still….”

“Ok I give up. Open the door. Release the Kraken.”

He giggled at that and then did, pulling me out after him and downstairs, finding no one else in and a well-stocked kitchen, me sitting at the table poking my lip and Alex glaring at me every time I did as he made coffee and breakfast, sitting down next to me and smiling, finger tracing the red and then eyes searching mine. “You’re ok. Today. Yeah?”

I nodded, breath taken away every time he did that, suddenly switching on the serious, and smiled into the kiss. “Yeah. Today, I’m more than ok.”

“Good. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I took a few painful mouthfuls and then felt the spoon taken out my hand, my chair moved round to face him, face somewhere between evil, lustful mischief and Mother Theresa, holding it in front of me and grinning. “Sorry. I forgot, I’m the nurse…”

And maybe we took advantage of the empty house a bit too much.

*

Marc got back about an hour later, subdued, hungover a bit or maybe just tired, it seemed, and sat on the sofa flicking round channels, attention focused on one thing for about 20 or 30 seconds at a time, until finally Alex turned to him and raised his eyebrows. “Are you ok?”

“Fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” _Oh I’m sorry, is this annoying?_

“I’m fine.”

“You’re sure?”

“Not funny.” He glared and threw a cushion across the room. “I’m sorry I did this to you if this is how annoying it is.”

“It’s ok.” Alex smiled to himself again, looking back at the TV. “But are _you_?”

“OK.” Marc pulled himself to his feet and stalked towards the door, teeth gritted, amused but also genuinely on the verge of detonation. “I AM OK. PLEASE STOP.”

“Are you _sure_?”

“Right, bye.” The older kept walking, nostrils flaring, knowing he deserved it and that making it even worse, reaching the back door and piling out into the fresh air, then stopping and staring. “Oh. You’re here.”

*

_Oh. Yeah I am. Sorry?_ “Hi…”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean that badly. I was just…escaping…” He sighed and looked at the sky for a second, shrugging to himself and walking over.

“Escaping?” I smirked at him and raised my eyebrows. “ _Are you ok?_ ”

“Ok, FUCK OFF.”

I felt my mouth drop open and then grinned at him. “Harsh. Because you deserve it.”

“I know.” Deep breath, smile, eyes amused, but still subdued. “I know.”

_He’s not leaving._ I blew the smoke out of the corner of my mouth and then felt my heart do a little jump as he sat down on the bench next to me. _Oh, ok. He’s really not. Champion time. Champion sharing?_ “Want to talk about it?” _To ME?!_

“Hmm.” He sighed again and then stole the cigarette from me, blowing smoke the opposite way, making me splutter but not from the cheekiness – that felt kind of ok and I knew I wouldn’t have offered – but from the fact that he wanted it. “Woah there, Marquez. Slow down. You’ll die young.”

“Hmm.”

_Ok. So something actually is a bit wrong._ I realised I wasn’t getting it back and lit another, desperately trying to figure out the protocol for the situation, studying his face. “Talk to me if you want. Feel free.”

“Hmm...”

“Marc.”

“Hmm?”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Hmmm. First…are you ok?” He looked back at me, eyes locked on mine, full of concern, and the joke died on my lips. _Yes I am, thank you._ “Yeah. I’m a lot better, thanks.”

“Alex kiss it better?”

_There we go. Spark back._ “Well…he kind of kissed it worse, but it’s not too bad.”

“And they say I’m the aggressive one…”

“I’m not saying _anything_ else about this.”

“Yeah. Good idea.” He grinned at me and gave me a kind of ‘eek’ face. “Sorry. Trust me, I don’t want details.”

“Well you won’t get them, so it’s ok.”

“Good.” Eyes back on mine, smiling, slightly sadly. “You know...” Sigh. “Sorry. This is all just a bit…weird.”

_Take your place at the back of the line, man. The World Champion just stole my cigarette._ “What is?” I tried to keep the tone interested but not gossipy, realising he obviously did want to talk. But might be easy to spook.

“Well…you. My baby brother. Seeing how he is with you…” More smoke blown away from us, eyes going back onto the distance. “I didn’t really think about it until I talked to Dani.”

_Dani._ “You talked to Dani?”

“Yeah? Earlier on. Just some, er…team stuff to talk about…” _Phones to hack, coups to organise…_

_Right. Team stuff._ “And then me and Alex?”

“Not like…gossiping…just…” Another swirl of smoke left his mouth and I had to pinch myself slightly again. “…just…I mean…you love him, right?”

“Right.”

“Yeah. And he loves you.”

“Well that’s what he tells me.”

He smiled at that, nodding, eyes on mine again, so warm, genuine happiness for us in them. “But…ok. I think it’s just weird…Alex. In love. Before me. And not just…before me…I mean…he’s so young.”

_Believe me, I know._ “I know. I really know. Although it’s kind of easy to forget…”

“Yeah, I know.” Another knowing smile. “I know we should probably switch ages to go with our personalities.”

“Hmm…maybe a bit.” I smiled back and snuggled slightly more into my hoody, weather unseasonably cold, feeling another zing go through me as his leg nudged mine, too lazy to whack me for that by hand. _I guess I’ve really been let in, now._ “But you’re just different.”

“We are. But also very similar.”

“That too, somehow. That’s what’s freaking you out?”

“No. I’m happy for you. I’m happy for him. It’s good to see him so happy. I just…I don’t think I ever considered the idea of him falling in love before me. And it’s weird. And it’s just…I don’t know. It’s making me realise I don’t actually like hooking up with someone for an hour and then walking away. I mean, it can be fun…but you guys have as much fun. Right?”

I took a deep breath and nodded, feeling some nerves creep back in, nowhere near qualified for this. “We do. Because we’re both idiots. Well...I am an idiot, he has a lot of patience.”

“Exactly!” He laughed and yelped slightly as I whacked him. “Hey! See?”

“Yeah, I see. So what you’re saying is you want that? Because that’s not weird. I think that’s understandable.”

“Yeah, I guess. Something like Olivia, for someone like Alex. Sounds pretty good. But I’m supposed to be Don Juan de Cervera…”

“Who says?” _Something like ME?!_

“It’s what everyone expects…”

“And, being honest, what you have been delivering…”

“Ok maybe slightly yeah.” He grinned at me sheepishly and then shrugged. “I just…I don’t know. It’s really hard. Finding someone. And I always thought that a fan would be weird. But you’re a fan…and maybe he didn’t know that for the first hour or whatever – and yeah he told me that – but he knows that now. And he doesn’t find it weird. But why? Seriously?”

“What do you mean?”

_What DO I mean._ “Sorry I'm talking too much. I _think_ I might still be a bit drunk. But I should also point out that I've done a LOT of training this last week. Ok? And...I think I mean…he just let his guard down. Common sense says ‘noooo don’t do that’, but he did it anyway. And look. At you. Look what you guys have now. ”

_I’m going to have to hug you._ I smiled at him as I suddenly realised the problem and took a deep breath, chest getting a bit tight and feeling that classic _oh I wish I could make it go away_ , winding my arm around his shoulders and pulling him in. “You’re worried because you wouldn’t dare.”

"Yeah, pretty much."


	30. Alex Marquez Is My Personal Trainer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The results from the Tumblr Marc and Dani poll have not yet been decided ;) :/
> 
> And yeah, I stole _another_ Mindy title. Sorry. :/ ♥ I just adore it too much.
> 
> I hope you like it...let me know? ♥ thank you so much, guys!

Bea: _Where are you?_

Bea: _Hellooo_

Bea: _Seriously Olivia, this is unacceptable._

Bea: _Livi pleaasseeeeee answer me with some form of communication…pleasseeee_

Bea: _I’m pregnant with Dani’s baby_

Bea: _I’ve gone bald_

Bea: _I’ve been maimed by a seal_

Bea: _And my hair is on fire RIGHT NOW_

Bea: _Ok I give up_

Bea: _I didn’t mean that, obviously. (This is Sparta)_

Bea: _One day I’ll look back at this and laugh, but right now I’m crying_

Bea: _I never thought you’d be the one to ditch your friends for your boyfriend_

Bea: _It makes me physically ill_

Bea: _To be honest, Alex makes me physically ill. I don’t know how you sleep in a bed with that thing…_

Bea: _jejejejejjejeje ;)_

Bea: _Ah well…was nice knowing you...I’m off to find new friends who have the sense to fall for Cardus instead of mini-Marquez. Useful ones. ;)_

Bea: _OLIVIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

I giggled my way through the 17 messages, holding up the phone for Alex to see, Marc having recovered from his morning hangover/tiredness/emotional harrumph to have left for Silverstone, Julia with him, in time for the Day of Champions. Alex was leaving the next day and Roser was out, so we were curled up on one sofa, pretending to watch TV but more watching each other, trying to muster the energy for a run, which I was apparently going to take part in, and my phone had been on silent.

“I should probably call her or something. Sounds like she’s having a fairly interesting day with the seals and being pregnant by Dani and then being on fire.”

He laughed at that again and nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead, starting to move to let me go, eyebrows raising to check I meant _nooooo stay here_ when I yanked him back in. 

“It’s ok. I’ll just make sure she knows you can hear.”

“Oh. Ok.” His face disagreed.

“Don’t worry baby. Women only bitch bad things about men when they have good reason to.”

“Oh? You don’t have good reason to?”

“The only reason you’d have to not hear is if you’d blush too much or vomit from the nice things.”

“Aww.”

I mimed vomiting, sticking my tongue out and then finding it captured straight away, another excuse to share another kiss, every single one made good use of in at least the last 2 hours _or 2 weeks_ , then dialed the number and listened to it ring, then grinned at the answer.

_“FINALLY! JESUS.”_

“Ah…this is a bit awkward but I’m actually Olivia? But…” I grinned at Alex. “I do have my own personal Jesus here with me if that helps…”

_“Urgh. Young love. Urgghhh. HI ALEX!”_

I smiled and then grimaced as the yell hit my ear. “Ouch. And she says hi.”

“Hi…”

_“Pffffff. You ouch? Me ouch! Where have you been?! Or do I not really want to know…?”_

“Hmmm…I would tell you but Alex is going a bit red so maybe I’ll wait…”

_“Jeje. Man I can’t wait to meet him properly. Sounds like he’s going to be the easiest prey in the world.”_

I moved the phone slightly away from my ear and grinned at him. “She says you sound very easy to embarrass. I’d be worried about that.”

“I am.”

_“Stop talking to him. Talk to me! Aren’t you wondering why I sent you 17 text messages?”_

“Just thought I’d found _another_ stalker, really…”

_“Ok you must be feeling ok if you can joke about it.”_

“I’m actually feeling better than ok. My lip is only slightly sore, my ego is recovering, and I’m all warm and snuggled on a sofa with the man I love.”

_“Oohhhhh you said it! I’m guessing he said it back since you’re saying it right now?! Wooooooo!!! Also…good tactics there with the covert info passing.”_

“Yeah, all of that.”

_“I love you too, I hope you know that. And I hope I did the right thing telling him everything?”_

“You did. And I do. And thank you. Now, tell me…why 17 messages?”

_“Oh there wasn’t a real reason I just wanted to check up on you.”_

“Ok well you’ve done that now. I’ll be back in the city tonight.”

_“With or without?”_

“With.”

_“Man you guys seriously make me ill with your adorable-ness. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow then. Alex off to Silverstone?”_

“Yeah. I’m going on Friday night so I expect you at my front door tomorrow at 8pm.”

_“Sounds like a deal. Have fun. Don’t suck him dry.”_

I bit my lip at that, trying not to laugh too much, able to predict the exact shade of red Alex’s cheeks would go, and said my goodbyes, going back to the kiss, pulling his hoody off, hands finding bare skin, and then realizing that my cheeks had gone that exact same colour as there was a warm, polite but very definitely _oh please stop_ kind of cough from the doorway. We locked eyes with each other, cringing, and I wondered why Alex wasn’t turning round to greet her before I felt the very definite reason why he should face away from her AT ALL COSTS for a few minutes at least. 

“Hi. Sorry.” I sat up slightly and cringed, trying to remind all three of us I wasn’t a teenager, voice going weirdly formal. “Have a good day?” _Stop giggling you adorable idiot._ I smiled at Roser, her frowning slightly at her son who was still facing me, and then grabbed the hoody from the floor in front of us and threw it at him, I hoped, as though I was suggesting he should put it on, rather than as though I was trying to cover something up. _18\. Now he seems 18._

“Yeah thank you. Feeling better today?”

“I’m fine now, thanks so much for your help.”

“Always welcome, dear.” She smiled at me and then pointed at Alex, still not moved, some of the patented Marquez spark most definitely on her face, making me cringe slightly in anticipation of what she was going to say, but conspiratorially involved and saving me from the worst of it. “Alex Marquez, do you really think I don’t know what’s going on here?”

I bit my lip again, regretting it again as I had before, then burst into a proper fit of giggles and sat up properly, untangling myself and leaving the hoody to at least visually protect some of his dignity. “Come on, game’s up.”

Roser smiled at me and nodded, all too knowingly, and then walked through into the kitchen. _“Are you guys going before dinner or do you want me to cook?”_

I looked at Alex, eyebrows raised, letting him decide, hoping it would distract him from the burning volcano of his embarrassment. 

“To be honest, right now I would like to fall into the middle of the Earth and never come back.”

_“I can still hear you.”_

“Ok, mum! Ok.” Slight face plam. “I think we’ll be going before dinner…?”

I nodded and shrugged, happy with either, and then found myself pinned down to the sofa again, wriggling, trying to be quiet, eyes wide at his cheek. “Stop it!”

“Too late now…”

_“Ok I can STILL hear you…”_

We both laughed at that, cringing and guilty but also desperately wishing alone-in-the-house came true again, and then begrudgingly sat up. “Ok, I’m going to smoke another of my last pack ever. And then…vomit… _sports_.”

“Yeah, SPORTS! Ha…And I was going to ask you. Did Marc steal one?”

“Earlier? Yeah.”

“Hmm. Ok.”

“Why?”

“I just wondered, because he smelt like it and I hoped it wasn’t from kissing you.”

“No it really wasn’t, don’t worry. Although it could have been from hugging me.”

“Hugging you? Marc?!”

“Yup. I think I made it through the wall of giggles into being reasonably trusted.”

“Aww. Wow. I almost feel guilty at being harsh, now.”

“I think it was deserved, don’t worry.”

“Oh it was, I just like being the nice one.”

I pressed my lips against his ear and made sure it was a very low whisper, no response from the kitchen so obviously getting away with it. “ _You’re definitely more naughty than nice.”_

He turned his head to me and pressed a kiss on my cheek, not blushing at that, eyes devilish, although, I realised, he really didn’t blush much at things between us. It was just other people. _Like nerves. Never nervous with me. Not even nervous slamming me through a hotel room door._ “Maybe I can be both.”

“You’re living proof that both can co-exist.”

“Yes.” He grinned and then pulled me up to my feet with him, pointing outside and then upstairs. “Right. Smoke. Then we’re going running. And you are going to do very well. And it’s going to be fun.”

I groaned and sullenly stomped off away from him, some of it genuine some not, then took an extra-long time to smoke two, then went back in to find him looking incredibly and annoyingly sports-ready. 

“Do I have to?”

“No. You don’t. But you said you wanted to.”

“I did, when it was an idea at 2am and I felt full of chocolate ice cream.”

The chocolate ice cream memory made us share a look for a second before he nodded, smiled, and then shrugged. “Well frankly that’s not a champion’s attitude.”

“Pffff. Frankly…I KNOW.”

“Come on then, let’s do it. Go and get changed.”

I sighed over dramatically and then did as I was told. _DON’T DATE ATHLETES. IT HURTS._

*

“Ok wait. I’m going to die.”

“No, keep going. Keep going and it will go away.”

“My getting-bigger-at-every-meal stomach or the pain?” _Even talking and yelling, I sound like a dead cat. And he sounds like he’s on a stroll through the Louvre._

“Both!”

“Hey-“

“Disclaimer: you’re beautiful as you are but you wanted to change yourself hopefully for yourself not me, so here we are.”

“You know that…” Panting, real panting. “…makes me realize I must love you. Because that’s true.”

“Eh?”

“I SAID…YEAH, THAT’S TRUE. SO I MUST LOVE YOU.”

He stopped, reaching the designated finish line miles before me, away from everything on a trail, able to yell at each other without being overheard, and then turned back and grinned, nodding. “Yeah I heard you. I just liked it.”

“Fuck you!”

“Good intensity! Come on, only…500 miles to go!”

“I’m close!”

“Heard that before!”

“I’m blushing! But I’m not stopping!”

“Good! Come on! You can do this!”

“I’m in PAIN!”

“But GAIN!”

“But PAIN!”

“Dani would want you to run faster!”

“That’s cruel!”

“In fact, Dani’s here! He’s really proud of you!”

“Noooo don’t!”

“What?”

“Don’t! This isn’t good enough for Dani!”

“Well then run faster! Come on!” He started clapping, desperately trying to buoy my spirits, actually doing an annoyingly good job of it. “300 miles now! Dani’s grinning!”

“Is he?”

“He’s loving it. He’s practically crying with pride!”

“Alex I hurrtt!!! Don’t let him see my tears.”

“He can’t, don’t worry. Come on!!”

“Urgghhhhh pleasseee can’t I walk the last bit?”

“NO!"

"But-"

"Ok I didn’t want to have to use this…but if you don’t make it all the way here, I’m not having sex with you tonight!”

I panted a few more breaths, really feeling the burn, the last bit uphill, and then put on a last burst of speed, grinning despite the severe physical trauma. 

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!”


	31. French Me, You Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! Thanks so much for all your readings/comments/kudos!!! Amazing ♥ So appreciated!!
> 
> Another chapter, another Mindy title, which is the one I first wanted to use in the first place but here we are ;)
> 
> I hope you like it?? :/ ♥

@LiviOhSoupOh: Hey everybody! Like my new name? ;) #timesarechanging

@alexmarquez23: Fuelling up for this weekend!! ;) 

@LiviOhSoupOh: @alexmarquez23 so I can cook ok then?

@alexmarquez23: Yeah everybody @LiviOhSoupOh can cook ;) #keeper #actualsoup

“Oh God. Well thank you.”

“What?!”

“6…7….9…10…jealous hate tweets. And actually loads of questions about my face.”

“Well just explain?”

“Explain?!” I back at him and elbowed him slightly, Twitter timetable not wholly honest since dinner was about an hour ago and we were now curled up on the sofa, or more, spooning on the sofa. “How?”

“I don’t know. Don’t stress.” He pressed a kiss into the crook of my neck and I felt the vibration of the reaction hum as he felt me shiver. “Just say someone hit you.”

“That’s kind of obvious.” I sighed and then cringed as I read a few more. “Although maybe I should explain, since some people are asking if YOU hit me. And some people are asking if you BIT me.”

“Argghhhh ok PLEASE?!”

“What should I put?!”

“Got hit in the face by my soon to be ex-husband, here’s his picture. You have 24 hours, dump the body carefully…?”

I laughed at that, typing but not quite word for word, and snuggled against him a bit further, feeling another moment of slight awe at how he managed to judge every mood very well 99% of the time. “Ok, how about… ‘Yes I got hit in the face…not pressing charges…and @alexmarquez23 is a good nurse :) ♥ ..?”

“What?!”

_You sound very puzzled._ “Er…which bit?”

“The not pressing charges?!”

_Oh, shit. Yeah I didn’t mention that, did I._ “Hmm…yeah…” _Please don’t be mad…_

“Ok, sit up.” 

I did as I was told, ending up facing each other sat cross legged on the sofa, that a lot easier for me with my lack of Bambi legs. “Sorry I forgot I hadn’t told you yet…”

“Hmm well.” He shrugged at me and sighed slightly. “That’s happened before…”

_Oh so actually quite hurt._ “Hey, don’t be mean.” I frowned and tried to take his hand, feeling it pulled away slightly and that definitely making the point. “Are you…really mad?” _Is this our first fight?_

“No. I’m not really mad. I might be. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Er…because I was worried what you’d say…” _Like now…_

“Well it’s not up to me, is it?”

“What?”

“It’s not up to me what you do. What did you expect me to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…get angry? Try and make you do it, or what?”

“Yeah…I guess. I certainly thought you’d be mad. Or worried why…”

“Ok well I am worried why, but I’m more worried why you didn’t tell me.”

_So am I, now._ “Look…I think…maybe I thought you’d get mad. Ok. Maybe you are. Maybe you think it’s a bad idea…but I think I’m maybe not used to this.”

“This?”

I saw the worry in his eyes and grabbed his hand again, this time allowed to. “You. Or, just…us. I don’t mean I don’t trust you, I mean…I’m not used to not having my decisions second guessed and pressured and someone else thinking they know best.” I waited to see what the reaction would be to that and then felt myself relax slightly as he squeezed my hand. 

“Ok. I understand. And it’s ok.” He looked back at me and then nodded. “If it doesn’t happen again. Is that fair?”

I nodded and smiled back. “I trust you. I promise.”

“I trust you. So..ok. Now I want to know why.”

“Why..?”

“Why you’re not pressing charges.”

_Oh._ “Because it wouldn’t teach him a lesson.”

“Ok…how do you know? You thought he would never do something like that.”

“I know. And I was wrong. But the second he did it, that was the lesson. Honestly. He couldn’t believe it. I think he was more horrified than me. I’m sure he won’t do it agai-“

“But-“

“No, this is different. I’m not being naïve, I just know he won’t do it again. To me, or to anyone else. So I wouldn’t gain anything and neither would ‘society’ or whatever…I don’t know if he’s going to leave me alone, but he won’t do it again.”

Alex had listened to that like he listened to everything, taking it in, thinking about it, nodding slightly, obviously making sense. Until the words _I don’t know if he’s going to leave me alone._

“You don’t think he’s got the message?!”

I sighed and shrugged, moving round to put my feet on the floor and stretch my legs, him doing the same. “I don’t know. Honestly. But if he hasn’t, it will just be annoying. Not dangerous.”

“And you’re just going to let him off with this and let that happen?”

“What else can I do?”

“Get the police to make him leave you alone.”

“It’s not that bad yet, come on.”

“Come on? What?! I sat in a police station for hours the other day and had my arms around you whilst you cried yourself to sleep. And it’s ‘not that bad’…?”

_Oh God._ “But like I said-“

“He won’t do it again. Yeah. Ok.” He got to his feet and grabbed his hoody off the sofa. “I’m going for a walk for a bit. Don’t wait up.”

“Wait Alex you do-“

“Just give me a while, ok?”

I shrugged and nodded, wincing as the door banged, and then sat there for a few minutes, not really knowing how long he’d be, before snuggling back into the sofa, which I’d used to think was only big enough for one and now felt empty, and went back to twitter, trying not to cry. _Don’t wait up. Like ‘don’t wait hours in the police station’. Yeah right._

DM @26_DaniPedrosa: @LiviOhSoupOh Love the name..! Jeje. Are you ok?

I stared at it for a few seconds, caught between Pedrosa glee and Alex pain, and then took a deep breath. _He will be back. You will talk. Hopefully he’ll understand._

@LiviOhSoupOh: Everyone asking, I’m ok thanks! :)

DM @LiviOhSoupOh: @marcmarquez93 can you DM Dani and say I would reply but I can’t DM if he doesn’t follow me?

DM @marcmarquez93: @LiviOhSoupOh yeah sure…are you ok? ;)

DM @LiviOhSoupOh: @marcmarquez93 ok thanks :P your brother’s angry about not pressing charges :(

DM @marcmarquez93: @26_DaniPedrosa she says you need to follow her for her to reply. And do you have any fizzy water in your motorhome?

DM @26_DaniPedrosa: @marcmarquez93 oops! Thought I did. Thanks :) (and no :P)

DM @marcmarquez93: @LiviOhSoupOh done :) and I can imagine…let him cool off and I’m sure he’ll talk about it :)

_@26_DaniPedrosa started following you!_

DM @LiviOhSoupOh: @26_DaniPedrosa thanks Dani :) I’m ok :) Alex is a good nurse!

DM: @26_DaniPedrosa: @LiviOhSoupOh good! So see you this weekend?

DM: @LiviOhSoupOh: @26_DaniPedrosa hopefully! Currently arguing, hopefully not serious :/

DM: @26_DaniPedrosa: @LiviOhSoupOh :/ ok…well I hope everything’s ok. And your name is making me giggle every time I read it. ;)

DM @LiviOhSoupOh: @26_DaniPedrosa jeje me too, me too ;) will your boss be mad?

DM @26_DaniPedrosa: @LiviOhSoupOh I think he’d love it! See you soon! X

I stared at the kiss for about 10 minutes, again completely caught between pain and glee, and then took a deep breath, put my phone down, and stared at the ceiling for a while, half asleep but desperately trying not to be to prove a point, until eventually the door went and I realised I had to let him in again. I opened the door to a half drowned Marquez.

_Holy SHIT._ “Is it raining?”

“No.” He looked down at himself and then back at me. “I just went for a swim in the fountain.”

“Refreshed?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and smiled then walked past me back into the apartment,noticing the shabby eyeliner in my trying not to cry and voice going a bit quieter. “I don’t want to argue.”

“N-Neither do I.”

“It just makes me very worried, ok?”

“I understand. And I’d probably be the same in reverse. But it’s important to me. Being a good person. Being a better person than him. Giving him the chances…because I don’t care anymore.”

“Hmm?”

_Oh shivering baby._ “I don’t care about him. I’m giving him the chance for me. Because I like being that person, and I want to be that person, and you deserve to be with that person.”

_I love you._ “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m worried.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. But I’m not going to change my mind. At least, not right now...”

He looked at me again, shivering again, and then nodded. “Ok.”

“Ok?”

“But if he does it again, I am going to kill him.”

“I would be ok with that.” I smiled at him, moving a bit closer, and then felt myself relax but go extremely tense a second after as he wrapped me in a hug. Hopefully fight over = relax. Very very cold and wet Alex Marquez = tense. “Argh you’re cold!”

“Yeah I know!”

I wriggled to try and get away and found myself grabbed even tighter, my clothes now starting to soak through as well. “Urgghhh don’t be evil!!”

“You deserve it.” He grinned and squeezed me again before finally letting go and pulling off his hoody, the sight completely captivating, drips running down his forehead from his hair, hurt and anger in his eyes replaced by mischief and lust. “That's a shame…now we both need a hot shower…”

_No, I need a COLD shower._ "Shame, yeah..." We looked at each other for a few seconds, both starting to smile, properly, before I raised my eyebrows and took a deep breath, suddenly surprisingly emotional, lip wobbling, extent of the _Alex has gone Alex has gone please Alex come back_ panic starting to sink in. "But before...we're ok?" I swallowed hard, knowing I was giving that away, and then started to relax as he put his arms round my waist again and stared down at me, slight smirk. "Well like I said, I'm not happy about it. But we're ok, yeah." He watched my little pathetic sob of relief and his eyes went round and mournful, that definitely making it worse. "Awww, God! Don't cry! We're ok. Sorry I needed to think about it and calm down. Ok?" Nodding. "Ok. Now kiss me, you idiot. My tongue is cold..."

_Thank God._ It took about 8 seconds for us to make it to the bathroom, only underwear left, shower on to warm up, kisses messy and skin slippery, holding each other up to wrestle the last garments free and not fall over before just about keeping the glass in tact as we went through the door in a tangle, warm water making us both relax slightly before I got pressed against the cold tiles of the back wall and shivered. "Arggh!"

"Cold?" He moved his mouth off my neck long enough to say it and then went back again, a bit rougher than we were used to, skin tingling, definitely not complaining, exorcising the demons.

"Cold...hotting up..."

He hummed against my skin again and I ran my fingers through his hair, from the nape of his neck upwards, guiding his head slightly lower and then pulling him closer around the waist, stomach to stomach, hard already, grunting slightly at the contact and then moaning into my mouth as I wrapped my hand around him before pulling him under the water and feeling his legs tremble slightly, switching so he was against the wall to make staying on his feet easier and then kissing a line down from his collarbone, his hand in my hair this time, head back against the tiles after stealing a glance at me, eyes burning through the even more water trickling down his forehead and then closing as my tongue circled his tip and he growled, hand grabbing a handful of wet hair. "God..."

I smiled at that, the noises and whimpers and words and ways of him always getting to me almost as much as the touches, and then circled again before swallowing him whole, and feeling some of my hair probably disappear forever as I did. 

_Probably worth it. I do usually get paid back pretty well for this.._


	32. Are We Friends Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arggh those races! Craziness, such conflicting emotions! But everyone's ok :)
> 
> Enjoy...?? Please let me know, bit of a filler one, I know... ♥

“Are you asleep?”

I said it as quietly as possible, fully expecting no reply, before a finger traced my ribcage and the pillow moved as he moved his head, voice whisper quiet, but still slightly louder than mine. “No…what’s up?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“You ok?”

“Yeah…just…thinking…” I sighed and took the snuggle that was offered, head under his chin, aware my mood was probably crashing into him like police sirens. “About stressful things…”

_I know._ “Don’t do that.” I could hear the smile in the dark and gave him a squeeze. “But can I help?”

“Well…” _Yes, ask him at 1am the night before an early airport run. Very fair._ “Silverstone…”

“Yeah…?”

“Well…my parents live in England…”

“Ah….” He nodded against me slightly and squeezed back, knowing that could be a negative entry into a conversation. “Right..?”

“So…I kind of have to go and see them. I was thinking of driving up on Monday…” _My voice sounds so small when I talk to you._

“Ok..?”

_Deep breath._ “And I wondered if you wanted to come with me…” 

It hung over us for a few seconds before there was a quiet _oh_.

_That’s one noise you make that I can’t read. Other than when you moan it._ “Oh? Positive oh or negative oh?”

“Hmm..maybe a bit of both. Nervous oh.”

_Ok. So you don’t know either._ “No pressure. I didn’t want to _not_ ask. But I don’t mind if you don’t feel ready…” _Or if you realise how much I’m lying._

“You know.” He seemed to take a few seconds to breathe me in and readjusted us so we fit together better. “Moments like this make me feel so lucky.”

“Lucky?”

“Lucky.” A hand ran down my back and I instinctively shivered, his lips moving closer to my ear. “When it’s all quiet, and everyone’s asleep, and it’s dark and peaceful. And we’re almost asleep. But still talking. You’re still right here. No ‘goodnight’ and then the door gets shut…”

“Oh. I know.” I pressed a kiss to his chest and sighed again, but contentedly, letting the moment run its course, suddenly soft and intimate and not about stress. “But still…slightly sorry for bringing up stressful conversations at 1 in the morning.”

“Not stressful. Not for me, anyway. Will they like me?”

_No._ “Maybe that’s why I find it stressful. Honestly? I think they’ll need a lot of time. I mean, they won’t hate you or anything…but you know, they’re older…the generation gap is huge. They’re really traditional. They won’t believe you’re with me. Especially not after Jordi. They won’t like that you’re a motorbike racer. They won’t like that you’re 18, but maybe we shouldn’t tell them. And they won’t like the version of me that you make me into.” _And WILL they? Not would?_

“What?”

“I don’t mean that badly.” I shifted up the pillow slightly so we were face to face and could just about pick out the outline of him, just enough light to know we were eye to eye. “I mean you make me _me_. But they spent 20 years trying to make me into something different. Or that’s how it feels sometimes. I love them and they love me, but I’m not what they imagined.”

“Ok…what kind of different?”

“The sensible, boring kind. Although I think I’m sensible enough. Sensible is making the most of everything, isn’t it?”

There was a slight pause before a finger traced my cheek. “Definitely.” I felt the breath suddenly a lot closer and his mouth met mine, gentle, patient, tongue waiting to be let in, then pulling me in again so we were flush against each other before he broke away, slightly breathless. “And I don’t mind. Do you want me to come with you?”

“I want you to be happy.”

Another hidden, cheeky, audible smile. “Answer the question then…”

“Hmm…then yeah.”

“Ok then. Monday. I’ll sort it out. I’ve got to be back for a day at Rufea on Wednesday, but I can do Monday and Tuesday. Sound ok?”

_Sounds like heaven. Or, sounds like taking a piece of heaven with me into limbo._ “Yeah.” _Shaky voice, playing it cool again._ “I-I love you. You know?”

“So…I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Yes.”

“Ok.” He moved back to how we had been before, for actual sleep, and then moved back in to peck me on the lips. “And I love you too.”

*

“ALEX. GET UP.” _How is THIS happening._ “WE NEED TO LEAVE IN 45 MINUTES.”

“Hmm…”

“NO HMM!” I noticed the cheeky and definitely more-awake-then-it-seemed smile and ripped the sheets off him, trying not to lick my lips at the view. “NOW.”

“Hmm…”

“Oh so you don’t want to make the most of our last 45 minutes?” I put my hands on my hips and grinned as his eyes shot open. “Ha! Awake.”

“Yeah I’m awake.” He sat up and grinned at me, eyebrows raising at the stern pose. “I was just paralysed by shock.”

“What?”

“YOU being awake!”

“Right.” I narrowed my eyes and then grinned, trying to ignore the way he turned over, lying flat on his back, naked, hands behind his head. _Like a challenge: resist me._ “Anyone would think _I_ was the teenager.”

“Hey! Low blow.”

“Easy doesn’t mean bad.”

“Lucky for you…”

“Ok, that is TOO cheeky.” I glared at the bitten lip, nervous but very amused, and then shrugged. “But fair enough. Although I would argue it was love-at-first-enforced-entrapment.”

“Romantic.”

“Always. Now GET UP.”

“Right, fine.” He gave the most teenager-y sigh and got out the bed, body ridiculously perfect, muscles rippling as he moved, walking away from me towards the bathroom, stretching, making me feel like I’d been thrown in a burning volcano. 

“Do you want breakfast?”

_“Don’t mind. I can get something there. Why?”_

“Because I think we have time f-“

_“Knew you couldn’t resist!”_

_Cocky little shit. And everyone thinks that’s your brother._ “Well…could _you?”_

_“Shower! Now!”_

_Yes, Sir._

*

“The invisible woman returns!”

I glared at her as she walked in and then returned the squeeze I got with an equally violent one. “Hi. I know, I know. Sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry. Well, you don’t have to be sorry if you tell me you’ve been taking full advantage of the perfect Moto3 rider body that is now officially _yours._ ”

I laughed and nodded, eyes wide, and got two glasses out the cupboard to start our planned catch up with wine, which Bea had brought, as promised. “Er…yes.”

“Ok…well I know you don’t usually like talking about things like this but I have to ask-“

“Ok, no I don’t. But I slightly understand the curiosity. So quick fire questions, I’ll try and dare to answer. Ok?”

“Ok! Woo!” She took the glass offered and took a sip, putting it back down, eyes narrowed and trying to figure out where to start. “Ok well I really am out the loop, here. Was he nervous?”

“Not more than me.”

“Was it good?”

I blushed slightly and stared down into my wine. “It was _screamingly_ good. Well..it _is_. Every time.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yup.”

“Seriously?! Eighteen though!”

“I know! I know. But…well, he knows what he’s doing. But I think mainly he just pays attention. I don’t know…like it turns him on as much as me doing things to him if he sees what he’s doing to me…”

“Oh _really._ And what exactly has he done to you, young lady?”

_Of course you fucking take that as a way of making my cheeks turn cherry._ “Bitch.”

“Ha! But seriously.”

“Ermm…everything?”

“Everything…”

“Everything that doesn’t involve props. Fair answer?”

“Ok I have to ask. When you say _everything_ , are you including anal…”

“Bea I fucking hate you.”

“So that’s a yes..?”

“That’s a ‘look at my face and that is the only answer you’re getting’.”

“So, a yes. Ok.”

“Please stop.”

“NO! Ha. It’s too much fun watching you blush.” She took another sip of wine and her eyes twinkled at me over the rim. “So what about the other way around..?”

“I’m genuinely not telling you any of that. That’s unfair.”

“Boooo. You and your morals.”

“Yup. Nowadays, anyway.”

She laughed at that and took a big gulp of wine, lulling me into a false sense of security. “So…everything…how is he with the tongue?”

_God._ “Er…like I said before…he pays attention…”

“Wow ok. So is it like…a regular thing now?”

“Me and Alex’s tongue or me and Alex having sex?”

“You and Alex having sex.”

“Well, er…yeah?!”

“Ok, ok! I don’t know, do I? I’ve not really spoken to you about fun stuff for ages.”

“Hmm, true. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry, you have been quite busy. I’ll forgive you.”

“Thaaaanks…”

“No problem.” Another grin. “So…it’s serious?”

“He told me he loved me. And I replied. And I think we both really, really mean it. So...yeah.”

“SERIOUSLY. ALEX MARQUEZ.”

I nodded and cringed slightly, taking a sip of wine to calm my nerves. “Seriously…”

“So you’re officially making love then, now?” She winked at me and seemed to delight even more in my face. 

“Yes. Fine. Sometimes we fuck, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we make love. Every time he does things to me I never knew were real feelings instead of clichés. Now this conversation is over.”

“Booooo.”

“Oh there’s more, don’t worry.” Deep breath. “He’s coming to meet my parents next week…” I watched her face fall into nervous, excited horror and nodded, exactly the same thing I was feeling. “I know...”

*

"So how was the Day of Champions?"

"Good."

"And why are you being weird?"

"I'm not. You're just ridiculously happy and I'm normal."

"Grumpy."

"Not grumpy. Just...not in love."

_Oh my God._ Alex dropped the fork and stared at him across the table. "Are you jealous?!"

_She didn't tell you. Great._ "No..."

"Bad liar."

"Not lying. I mean...I don't know." Marc mirrored his brother's fork placement and sighed. "I'm not jealous of _Livi_ , but I think I'm jealous of what you have. Ok?"

"Don't worry, I'm not..." _What?_ "Thinking anything about that. But...really?"

"Hmm." _Or maybe I'm just bitter after I come 4th._ "Maybe. Please don't tease me..."

The younger brother nodded at him, aware the tone was on the other side of the _I'm being straight up right now, take me seriously_ , and smiled. "Don't worry. You'll find it."

"But the looking sounds really annoying. Can't I just get trapped somewhere with someone and fall in love? Preferably the day after Cheste?"

"I'll make sure _los Reyes_ get the message but I can't promise anything."

"Pffff. And she didn't tell you?"

"Tell me?"

"I talked to her in the garden about this. I kind of assumed she'd tell you."

_Oh. Really?!_ "Oh."

"I mean...not in a bad way...I mean...it's not like she's keeping something from you, it's just-"

"No, it's fine. Honestly." Big, round Alex Marquez eyes whose promises meant the most. "It's ok. You can be friends with her, can't you? You can talk to her. It wouldn't be fair if she just told me everything."

"But there's nothing I don't tell you." _Except that one thing._ "That's why I didn't tell you this, thought I'd been beaten to it."

"YOU?!"

Marc grinned at him and then picked up his fork again. _You have superpowers, bro. You and Dani have mood superpowers._

*

@LiviOhSoupOh: Funny story...missed my flight. #myfault

@LiviOhSoupOh: Funny story part 2...got a later one, hired a car, broke down. #notmyfault

@LiviOhSoupOh: Funny story part 3... @alexmarquez23 didn't wait up

@LiviOhSoupOh: Funny story part 4... Whittlebury Hall is way comfier than your motorhome @alexmarquez23 :P 

DM @26_DaniPedrosa: @LiviOhSoupOh you know we could have let you in?

DM @LiviOhSoupOh: @26_DaniPedrosa are we friends now? Who is we?! And I am drunk, sorry bout that Daniiiiiii

DM @26_DaniPedrosa: @LiviOhSoupOh me and Marc (has a key) and Santi are still awake, and yeah we can be! Eager..? Jeje :P

DM @LiviOhSoupOh @26_DaniPedrosa don't make me admit how much I love you, lil Dani. Pedrosista a la muerte. :D

DM @26_DaniPedrosa: @LiviOhSoupOh I think you should go to sleep, superfan. Goodnight! Marc says goodnight, Santi laughed. x

DM @LiviOhSoupOh: @26_DaniPedrosa I'm already criinngggginnnngg. See you tomorrow, BABY SAMURAI POWER! 

*

I dropped my phone on my face when I went to sleep, or maybe that's what made me go to sleep. And I woke up to a very _oh so you remember me?_ Alex face at 7.25am, followed swiftly by a very quick bed test and check out. And then I looked at my phone. And then part of me died of shame.


	33. Rascasse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY! I've had a _guerra_ with the hotel all day about the wifi which wasn't working, but HERE I AM! ♥
> 
> Missed you so much! Thought I'd post first and respond to everything after, yeah? ;)
> 
> *blush* ... hope you like it... I have more written, and I have a harbour view balcony and a packet of Marlboros... estad atentos? ;) ♥
> 
> Please let me know!!

Nothing else over that entire weekend went to plan. Not for me, anyway. Dani, to his credit, didn't mention my eternal shame and was completely normal. Whether because it didn't really feature in his life too highly or because he was a gentleman and aware that, somewhere underneath the fangirl, there was a safe human being, I wasn't sure, but in the end the outcome was the same and my cheeks remained un-cherried. My mother called me half way through MotoGP Q2, to my great Pedrosa irritation, to tell me one of her friends had invited them to Kendal for the weekend and they were going to go, wouldn’t be back until Tuesday night. That made me giggle, a lot. _Kendal. KENDAL._ Alex didn’t really understand it, and fair enough it wasn’t that funny, it was just the two worlds colliding that was insane. _Them in the Lake District in a campervan. Me in the Repsol Honda pits at Silverstone._ She seemed to expect me to say ‘ok we’ll come then instead’, but I knew Alex couldn’t and I found myself rescheduling, really not wanting to face the barrage alone. So after Misano was arranged, which made more sense anyway since Marc was going to Tavullia so there was no Rufea that week, and everything seemed a tiny bit brighter. So we were going to go to ‘my house’ – where I’d grown up, or almost, but no one else was going to be there. And that felt like a good first contact, not too much but not everything at once. And Alex was extremely excited about rural England, which was adorable but, as I knew too well, completely unfounded.

Good races for all the Rufea Team made Sunday evening pretty fun, before me and Alex went back to Whittlebury Hall, both of us having changed our minds about driving up ‘later’ and having some drinks instead, and finished off the bed test we’d started on Saturday morning. Results: hard wearing.

*

“So…this is it.” I motioned at the house and tried to read the expression on his face. “Where I spent half my childhood. The non-Barcelona half…”

“Wow.”

 _Oh…ok?_ “Wow?”

“Er…yes?!” He laced his fingers through mine and followed me to the door, slightly wide eyed. “You never mentioned the fact your family is rich.”

“They’re not. Not really. They wanted a big house, so they bought one. They don’t have boats or fancy cars or anything…it’s all in the house.”

“Still. You’ve seen my house. Maybe Marc’s bank account is pretty full now, but…wow.”

I shrugged slightly, not really sure what to say, before turning the key in the lock and pushing open the front door, the strangest feeling of worlds colliding hitting me as I did. “Well tonight it’s all ours.” I squeezed his hand and pulled him through into the kitchen before letting go and putting the kettle on, earning a questioning look. “What?”

“Are you doing what I think you’re doing?”

“Well that depends. What do you think I’m doing?”

“I think you’re making tea.”

“Half British.” I grinned and nodded, pulling out two mugs, finding the ones I’d abandoned a few years ago and smiling as I held them up. “Pedrosa or Hayden?”

“I feel like you want Dani…”

“I _always_ want Dani.”

“Hey. We talked about this…” He grinned and grabbed me from behind, twirling me off my feet slightly and giving me a squeeze. “Don’t be evil.”

“Sorry.” I gave him ‘Dani’ and held up the Nicky Hayden mug. “Just this once, I’ll put my lips around Nicky…”

“Evil. Eww.”

“Eww?”

“I mean…I’m sure he’s an attractive guy, but…he’s a guy.”

“He is. He’s a guy. He’s a duuuuude.”

Alex giggled and shrugged, giving up on that battle, not threatened in the least. _And I’m so glad, because that means you know I mean it when I say I love you._ I made the tea, noticed his face at the milky-ness as he valiantly fought to finish at least half of it without spitting it out, and then took him on a tour of the house, ending up in my old room, even though I’d been back still decorated as it had been back then, him fascinated by everything, as was I in a way. _I changed so much and I hardly even realised. But some things, the important ones, still the same._ I sat on the bed and watched him go through everything, me fine with that, interested by what he found interesting, and then all my teenage dreams came true as I got pushed into the mattress by a World Championship motorbike racer, in my old bed, and this time it wasn’t a dream, it was real, and it was the weirdest, greatest feeling. Until I had to press pause, briefly.

“Ok, ok. Stop.”

“What? Ok?” He propped himself back up and stared down at me, eyes wide. “Did that hurt too much?”

I smiled and shook my head, reaching up to return the bitten lip to prove _definitely not_ , and then wriggled away. “I don’t like these posters staring at me.”

He turned over to look at what I meant and laughed as I pulled down the Rossi and Pedrosa posters off the wall and turned them face down on the floor. “Seriously?!”

“Seriously. I mean…Vale? And that facial expression? Definitely not. And Dani…well that’s just ultimate threesome kind of territory…” I watched him go bright red and his mouth drop open before he face palmed. 

“Oh God. Seriously.”

“Just being honest…” I grinned and laughed at the horror. “Aww don’t be traumatised….”

“I’ll be traumatised forever.”

“If it makes you feel any better I’ve only dreamt about it once…”

“NO! That’s worse!”

“And you weren’t with me that night…?”

“EVEN WORSE.”

“And, er…you and Dani didn’t have much…contact?”

“PLEASE STOP.”

“Hmm…ok…” I pushed him back down onto the bed and grinned as I straddled him, friction enough to make him grunt, still hard despite the Pedrosa nightmare, and slowly bent down for a kiss, his hands finding my hips. “Well how about we try some of those things we talked about…would that make up for it?”

His eyes seemed to darken even as I stared at them, lust reignited and Dani horror forgotten immediately. “Seriously…”

“Seriously. And here is even more deliciously _naughty_ ….”

“Hmmm…” He hummed into my mouth and then turned us over and pressed us together, both groaning at that, before he pulled away again. “You’re going to tell me you have a secret box of _naughty_ things in here now, aren’t you?”

I could feel the evil in my smile as I watched his face go almost slack jawed at the thought of it. “Top drawer.”

He opened it and stared into it, confused. “Ok well there’s a teddy bear and some old moisturiser…”

 _In that layer, yeah._ “And a hole, back right. Hook your finger in there and pull.” _And then repeat that in a few minutes on me, please._

He did, face somewhere between awe and fear, mouth watering, and pulled out the fake bottom, staring down. “Ohhh Olivia. You naughty, naughty, _naughty_ schoolgirl…”

“Hmm.” I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips. “Maybe a bit…”

“Do I want to know the story?”

“I’d rather we wrote another one…”

“Yeah, me too.” He grinned and dropped the handcuffs lightly onto my stomach, metal cold and making a little puff of air leave my mouth at the shock. 

“Anything else you want?”

“Up to you…”

“Well…I own it, so…”

“Right.” He nodded, grinning like a child in a sweet shop, and handed me lube, a candle, some matches, crotchless panties and suspenders. “Are you going to put these on?”

“Do you want me to?”

“YES.”

“Ok, then.” I grinned and got off the bed to do just that, his eyes following every move. “Like what you see?”

I just got a grunt in response, licking his lips. 

“Ok then. That everything?” 

“You want more?”

“Well…that depends on you.”

“Well that depends which way round we’re doing this.” He pulled out the strap on and held it up, eyes black and shining, cheeks slightly red. “Because there is a lot of fun in this box.”

 _OH MY GOD._ I felt my mouth drop open and stared. “Alex SERIOUSLY…”

“Hmm…” He ran his eyes over it and then back at me. “Maybe yeah?”

“Oh My GOD.”

“Good or bad oh my God…”

“Good. GOOD!” _Fucking MINDBLOWN._

“Well…can’t promise I’ll like it but I can promise we can try it…”

 _Oh my God._ “Seriously.”

“ _Seriously._ ”

“SERIOUSLY…”

“I’m very straight. So I’ll never experience the, er… ‘real’ version…”

“And you’re not freaked out?!”

“Nope. Although you own it…so…”

 _Ah. Yeah._ “Ok true but…maybe I needed a while longer to realise I was straight…”

“Ah we’re back in ultimate threesome territory…”

I went slightly red and shrugged, nodding. “Maybe. I wouldn’t say no, to be honest.”

“Oh God, STOP IT.”

“What?!”

“It’s actually _painful_ how turned on I am.”

“Hmm I know. Wait there.” I grinned and walked out, heading for the bathroom and laundry cupboard, wolf whistled at as I disappeared round the corner, and came back with a towel. “If we’re doing this, you’re not getting come on my duvet cover.”

“But I…” He trailed off as he realised. “Ah. No. I see what you mean.”

“Right we should probably have a word or something…for if we want to stop…genuinely…”

“Ok. What?”

“I don’t mind.”

“Well I don’t mind. Something we won’t forget…”

“What won’t you forget?”

“Something racing related…”

“I feel like something from MotoGP would be a bad idea…”

“Why?”

“Because every time you hear it you’re going to remember this…”

“Ah. Yeah…well F1 then?”

“Hmm…Rascasse.”

“Rascasse?”

“Ok?”

“Ok.” He nodded and sat back on the bed as I crawled over towards him, picking up the handcuffs in my teeth and dropping them on him, straddling him. 

“Hello Officer Márquez. I’ve been very, very naughty…”


	34. Heroes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll reply in a second, thank you SO MUCH! ♥
> 
> Right, well...not sure if you wanted/expected more continuing on from the last chapter..:/ ;) I have a few bits and pieces but ultimately decided it was time for this one....ok? :/ ♥

Misano was amazing, for the race at least. I’d never been to an Italian race before, and the yellow was incredible. And they were rewarded, and Marc took the crash pretty well, Dani giving him a bit of a verbal slap round the face by all accounts, the whole ‘you were my hero’ dynamic evidently worth something even after 2013. I was surprised by that – after Phillip Island and 2011 and everything I would have expected it to be shrugged off philosophically quite quickly, but apparently the difference, Alex said, was because it was Marc’s fault. Which made some kind of sense.

Alex was slightly frustrated after two seconds in a row, but happy to be closing the gap on _Jack Fucking Miller_ , as we called him reasonably affectionately ever since I had in the lift, and then we were suddenly on a flight from Bologna, closing in on the moment I’d been dreading, everything from the weekend starting to hit me. It had been... _eventful._

*

“Ok. So I said I have a plan…”

“You did.”

“Well the plan was going to be in Silverstone but I had an even better idea and I need your help.”

“You know, I’m not sure how you live without me. I’m supposed to be your teammate, not your concierge.”

“Hey! Just because you don’t notice the nice things I do doesn’t mean I don’t do them.”

“Aww. Sorry. Maybe they’re just not noticeable…”

“Nope. You’re just in your Marquez world forgetting about the rest of us.” Dani noticed the flash of hurt cross his teammate’s face and frowned slightly, having been joking completely. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean that. Ok?”

“Hmm.”

“You’ve not changed.”

“What?”

“Since the first day you walked in in Cheste, you’ve not changed. Don’t worry.”

“Not worried…”

 _Liar._ “Well…maybe you have actually. But in a good way. Ok?”

Marc nodded and smiled back at him, genuinely a lot happier with that. “Oh. Ok…”

“I mean, you have another chance to ruin my birthday this year but I’m less nervous than last year…”

“Hey!” The younger Repsol rider whacked him across the back seat and then went slightly red at what he’d done. _Oops. You’re Dani. Not Alex, or Olivia, or friends from home who whack me back even harder._ “Sorry…”

“I’ve felt worse.” The smaller rider grumbled at him before cracking back into a smile and then staring out the window at the worsening weather. “But seriously, I need your help. Well, I need Alex’s help…but I think if you ask there’s less chance he’ll give it away…”

“Right…”

“Olivia wears Arai helmets, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Marc nodded and cast his brain back over the one time he’d seen them riding. “Think so. Because she loves you so much.”

“Right. Well I want to know what model and size it is.”

“Eh?”

“I was going to just give her a little signed replica one, after she got hit? Because _yes_ she loves me more than she loves _you_ , and I thought she’d appreciate it. After this weekend…I’m going to give her a full size, custom replica of my helmet from Montmeló. With a message from me.”

Marc stared at him for a few seconds before really starting to smile, watching Dani nervously unsure of how to respond to what he said. “Aww. That’s so nice.” _Maybe that’s why she loves you._

*

“Are you really still not nervous?”

He shrugged at me from the passenger seat and smiled. “Yeah, a bit. But it’s not like I have to live with them is it?”

I raised an eyebrow at that and grinned. “Not sure you quite have to ‘live with me’, either…”

“Hmm…” He grinned at me and then turned to look out the window. “Yet…”

 _Woah woah woah._ “What?!” 

“Well…is that not normal to you? Living with the person you love?”

 _Common sense wins again. Above the other kind of common sense going ‘but Alex, you need to be out getting drunk and not giving a fuck about anything, you’re 18!’_ “W-well…yeah. But-“

“But…‘Alex, you’re 18! 18! Argh! Way too young! Know your place!’” He grinned and winced as I smacked his leg then squeezed my knee, shrugging. “Oh my God, Alex! Oh my God! Who are you taking to prom!”

“Shut up!”

“Ha! No. You’ve had a few moments like this all weekend. Can you please stop being surprised that I don’t want to act like a dick and would rather spend time with you and my brother and the team? And proper friends, doing nice things like sports and dinner and movies and stuff?”

“I’m not surprised, I just…I know _you_ don’t want that, but then my brain keeps yelling-“

“OH MY GOD, ALEX! You’re EIGHTEEN!” He mirrored my shocked face and grinned again. “Yes. I’m 18. All the better for me, I get even more time with you.”

“Eh?”

“Well I’m 18. So by my reckoning, if you don’t start smoking and keep training with me, you’re going to die first.”

 _Fucking long haul, then._ “Oh lovely.” _Wow._

“Just being practical. Being older, you’d have thought you’d have thought about that, to be honest. But yet again, it’s all down to me…”

“Fuck off.”

“See, so mature…”

“Alex…”

“Ooh it’s the warning voice…”

“ALEX FUCK OFF.”

“Ha. At least I won something this weekend!”

We both laughed at that and looked at each other before I squeezed his knee and shook my head. “Nawww baby you were amazing!”

“Hmm…in front of _Jack Fucking Miller_ I guess, but still.”

“And here’s me thinking I’d fucked the grumpy out of you last night…”

He giggled at that and locked eyes with me briefly, one of those little zings of _something_ going through us at the memory. “If I say you have though, does that mean you won’t try again?”

“Never.”

“Then yeah fair enough you really did.”

“Oh, _I know._ ”

He giggled again slightly and stared back out the window for a few minutes, comfortable silence back, before I jogged my own memory by going over the _live with you…yet…_ “I just remembered something _else_ that you have to explain…”

“Eek.” He turned back and stretched out slightly, snuggling down into the seat, rain outside obviously not as interesting as he’d hoped. “In my defence, every other time I have lasted longer…”

I grinned and rolled my eyes, daring a glance back and finding the most adorable face in the world. “No, not that. The, er…note on your toothbrush in my bathroom? _Please Miss Livi can I stay here_?”

“Ah.” He nodded and smirked again, flash of nervousness gone. “Well…can’t say you’re surprised by what I just said, then…and it’s true. The toothbrush was begging me!”

“Oh really? So it’s his fault?”

“Never my fault. It’s usually Marc…or the inanimate object…”

“Well…” _Probably true._ I tried to hide the smile at that and frowned. “I’m a bit annoyed, to be honest.”

“Really?! Sorry I th-”

“Yup.” I indicated to turn off the motorway and then smirked at him. “I was going to ask but now that’s ruined…” I watched the relief hit his face and then smiled again, just a smile, loving every little thing I was getting in return; happiness, relief, surprise, and love. _So much affection in your eyes and it’s all for me._ “Fucking hell you are so beautiful.”

He blushed slightly and the rain was suddenly interesting again. “Don’t.” 

“Hey, look at me.” He did and I glanced over again, longer this time, waiting at traffic lights at the end of the slip road. “Don’t blush. I love all of you, don’t worry. But don’t blush when I say that.”

“It’s just weird hearing that…I’m the awkward one, Marc is the good looking one. That’s how it goes…”

“Well lucky for me it isn’t anymore.” I pulled into the services and turned the engine off, both of us staring forward at the rain, before I laced my fingers through his above the handbrake. “You’re amazing. And you’re holding me together. You know that?” _Well I guess if he wasn’t scared off already, he won’t be now. So let’s keep digging the hole, apparently._

I felt my hand get squeezed and then my hood gently pulled up over my hair, kiss on my cheek. “I’m not taking credit for that. I’m sorry I couldn’t win it for you yesterday. I tried.”

“What?”

“I was going to dedicate it to you. But more than that, I wanted to give you something to celebrate.”

I bit my lip and looked out the window, taking a deep breath and trying not to give it away. “W-well like I said, you’re amazing.”

“Look at me.” I did and felt my chin gently tilted up into a kiss, his hand combing through my hair under the hood and pulling me in slightly closer. “You know racing is my job. And I love how much you love it and how much you’re…proud of me? …I love it. And it makes me feel amazing when I get back to the box and the look in your eyes…it’s incredible. But I’ve been doing this forever. It’s not that impressive. You’re good at your job, too. And I hope you feel the same as I do when I say that. But everything this weekend…that’s not your job. You don’t train for that. So it’s definitely, definitely more impressive. Ok?”

“Not more.”

“Yup. More. And I think it’s incredible that all I have to do right now is hold your hand. You know a lot of people would be locked in my motorhome near the Adriatic, crying and refusing to leave?”

“Hmm I was tempted…”

He smiled at that and ran his thumbs under his eyes, cupping my face and pressing a kiss on my forehead. “I know. But you’re not. We’re here…and I’m here. And the second you think you need me to do more than just hold your hand, tell me. And we’ll stop, or we’ll leave wherever we are, or we’ll do something different, or get in bed early and we’ll make it ok. Ok?”

“O-ok.”

“Ok. Good.”

“I think now.”

“Now?”

“I-I don’t know if I can do this. Not today. Not…I don’t know. I just feel like I want to turn round. Every mile I want to turn around. But where to I don’t know because going back is worse than going forward.” 

He noticed the sudden kind of shiver that went through me and reached under my seat to pull the lever and move it back, trying to make more space for a hug before giving up on that and getting a jacket off the back seat to wedge on the handbrake so he could move over slightly without impaling himself. Somehow we both kind of fit on the driver’s seat and he leaned over to hit the button to lock the doors and then settled down again, arms pulling me in, relaxing only when I did, fingers tracing patterns on my arm. “Right. If you want to turn around, we can turn around. If you want to sit here for a few minutes, or hours, and see if you feel better, we’ll do that. If you want to wait and stay somewhere else tonight, then see how you feel tomorrow, let’s do that. Just visit for a few hours. Ok? There’s no rush and no pressure.”

I nodded into his chest and felt my fingers curl into the fabric of his hoody, something they’d done way too many times over the past 3 days. “Th-thank you. And I meant it. You’re holding me together.”

“Well I meant it too. It’s you. Moments of being upset aren’t a weakness, you know?”

“Hmmm…well I don’t know. But if you weren’t here I’d be…I don’t know. I’d be…” The kind of clichéd truth hit me and I sobbed slightly into the fabric and shivered again. “I’d probably just be the same as before. And I wouldn’t know. You know? I wouldn’t _know_. I’d never have found out what he’s like. I would be living with him. I would be feeling bored, but safe. I’d be completely oblivious, but actually, I’d just be a on a countdown and I-“

“Don’t. We don’t do-“

“I know.” I smiled and nodded, trying to sniff as elegantly as possible through the ruined mascara. “What ifs. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Be divorced.”

I laughed at that slightly and took a deep breath, nodding again. “Yup. As soon as possible. As soon as possible.”

“Good.”

“Alex?”

“Yes.”

“Can I stay in Cervera until the locks are changed?”

 _That will take an hour._ “You can stay in Cervera for as long as you want, and there doesn’t have to be a reason.”

“Thank you. Will it be ok-“

“I told my mum what happened. I hope that’s ok. And I believe me, she’ll be harder to convince than anyone that you should ever be allowed out our house again.”

I smiled at that and nodded again, eyes now closed and at least pretty dry, the rhythm of the rain doing a good job of calming me down, the steady, slow breath moving me up and down helping, the person curled around me definitely making the most difference. “Why does it seem so easy for your parents?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…obviously, no one’s perfect. But look what they made. You and Marc. You’re amazing. But not only that, they’re just…I don’t know. They just keep getting it right. Even with me. A stranger.”

“You were never a stranger. But you know someone else does that as well?”

“You.”

“I’m trying. But no. Maybe one day, and I’ll have a go at putting that into practice and see if I manage to raise a World Champion. But I mean you. You’re doing that, you know?”

“But I-“

“I know, you were wrong in the end. And I didn’t agree with you. But you were a better person than me. It backfired, but you tried.”

“Don’t think so. But not worth much though now, is it?”

“Well…that depends. It’s the thing I love about you the most, so don’t regret it. Please?”

“You love that I try AND fail.”

“Yep, exactly.” He prodded me in the ribs and gave me a squeeze. “No. I love how you manage to put everyone before yourself but not in that boring way. Like the fact that it’s my Ipod plugged into the stereo right now even though you would definitely rather be listening to Shakira. You pass me the first of anything that we order or cook. You smile at people on the street because they don’t look happy. You sit with my head on your chest for 2 hours and listen to me kind of implode with self-doubt and let me moan about Miller and Rins and everyone else, and you pick up all the pieces and put them back together. So don’t stop trying. It’s just that some people aren’t worth it, but you don’t find that out until after.”

 _How did we end up in this conversation. And how did I convince Alex Marquez I was worthy._ “Come on, you’re making me sound like Mother Theresa.” 

“Ha! No, not quite. I don’t think Mother Theresa ever shocked her boyfriend into an accidental orgasm with slippery fingers in places they really weren’t expected…”

“Hmmm maybe sorry?”

“Hmmm I think after we took that one a lot further there’s really no need to apologise.”

I smiled at that, mood finally starting to lift, both of us consciously pushing ourselves to a happier place, and propped myself up slightly to get eye contact. “There you go, surprisingly me again…”

“That time I was definitely the surprised one.” He grinned and pulled me in for a kiss, little _hmmm_ of pleasure going through both of us before I finally felt a bit of fire start to return, staring at each other for a few seconds before I nodded.

“Right. I can do this.”

“You can.”

“And I really hope what you just said is true.”

“You’d better start believing-“

“Nah, it’s cool. I know. I’m Saint Olivia. I just meant I really hope I’m not fucking boring…”

"NEVER. You're my hero this weekend."

"Don't. You know what I'm going to say to that."

"I'm telling you the truth. Maybe we can both be heroes, right?"

"Just for one day..."

"You know, I'd rather do forever and ever."

I smiled into the fabric again and breathed him in for a few seconds, things like that making my heart really start to explode. "Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"You know you said I do all those things..."

"Yeah...?"

"How many David Bowie songs did you listen to before you met me?"

"Hmmm." I felt him smile and press a kiss into my hair. "Ok fair enough. We have a _Modern Love_..."

"I love you."

He nodded and gave me a squeeze before opening the locks again and starting to stir. "I love you too. And I was trying to do another one but all I could think of was Let's Dance, and I really don't want to dance right now."

"Yeah me neither." I grinned at him and pressed a kiss on the end of his nose. "But seriously." I gulped again and took a deep breath, realising how pathetic this would seem if I said it to anyone else on the planet. "Please don't drop me."

He pressed his forehead against mine and let our breath mix, lips almost grazing as he talked. "Not a chance. Not a _chance_."

"Right then." I pulled away and smiled, getting us out the car, hand welded to his, squeezing and taking a deep breath. "Let's get some food. Then step 1, the newly diagnosed cancer patient. Then step 2, the Catalan locksmith. Then police, again. Then lawyer. Insurance. Easy."

"You missed one."

"I know." I paused and took another breath. "Might leave that one, indefinitely."

"Not a chance."


	35. Cocaine and Mojitos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First half of explanations...
> 
> Really, _really_ nervous about these two chapters?! :/
> 
> And warning for some health stuff :/ ♥ never usually put this kind of stuff in, but there is a reason...!
> 
> ♥

Wednesday - before Misano

_“Are you ok?”_

“Not really.” I bit my lip and tried not to give it away too badly. “Bea’s helping. And other friends. That I promise I do have. But-“

_“I hope you’re going to say ‘but you’re not here’…”_

“I was. Remind me again how I lived a successful life without you?”

_“Cocaine and mojitos.”_

“Ah, yeah. That’ll be it….” We both paused to laugh slightly before I took a deep breath. “I’m not sure if I can do this weekend…”

_“Please don’t say that. Because I can’t come home. Well, I could come home but-“_

“Don’t you fucking dare. You know the rules.”

_“I’m not sure putting me first all the time is very fair.”_

“Well I’m not sure the last corner of Jerez 2013 was very fair but it happened.”

_“Ouch!”_

“Hehe. Couldn’t resist…spending too much time with a Spartan at the moment.”

_“Boo hiss.”_

“Ha! Pfff. Actually…how have you not met Bea?”

_“Because every time we’re both in Catalunya we lock the door.”_

“Ah…yup. Ok…well I’ll put that on the to-do list. In fact, if your brother’s feeling brave enough to be himself around her, I think they’d get on soooo well. Ironically.”

_“Sounds like a set up to me…”_

“Nope. I think Bea’s Lorenzo soul would die. But it would be funny, if nothing else.”

_“Well that sounds like a plan then. That we can talk about tonight when you get here.”_

“I’m not sure going to a race is the best idea right now.”

_“I understand. But seriously…what are you going to do at home?”_

“Feel less like I’m uncaring and just ignoring it…”

_“And drive yourself crazy. In fact…wait a second…”_ There was some rustling before another voice came on the phone and another part of me died.

_“Olivia. Hello.”_

“Hi Dani…” _Fucking cringe._

_“You know we’re having a meal tonight and there’ll be a space empty if you don’t show up..”_

“I hope he knows how cruel this was.”

_“I think he does. Has it worked?”_

“Yes.”

_“You know, you get me a couple of drinks and this power I have over you would be soooo useful.”_

“And you know, if I wasn’t in love with your boyfriend’s brother, that would have made me faint.”

_“He’s not my boyfriend.”_

“Knew you wouldn’t be ab-“

_“No, I mean…it’s just sex. Promise.”_

“DANI!”

_“Just a joke! See you later, Olivia. Ciao…”_

I felt my heart explode for a split second, coughed, checked my reflection in the stainless steel of the oven, and noticed all I could see was red. _Sense of humour or hiding in plain sight? My God._ “Hey baby. Ok, fine. It worked.”

_“Ha. Knew it would. Besides, then we can have the morning together, too. So tonight we really can have cocaine and mojitos. Just without the cocaine.”_

“Dammit! That’s the best bit.”

_“I know. Shame. But please get on the flight. Because I will come back there and fetch you, because you really shouldn’t sit in that apartment just-“_

“Ok, ok. Fine. Fine. Maybe you’re right.”

_“I am. And you shouldn’t feel guilty. You’ll see her on Monday. And your dad. And maybe it’s good to let things like this sink in for a while.”_

“Maybe. I just…it seems pretty surreal. But then at least they caught it early…”

_“Exactly. Just…get here, and we’ll respectfully forget about it for a while, ok?”_

“Ok baby. Sorry I keep calling you baby, I hate when people do that normally.”

_“Is it an ongoing age joke or just affection?”_

“Affection. Can’t help myself…”

_“Good because I love it. And I love you. And I’ll see you later.”_

“Bye bye, baby. Say bye to Dani for me…”

_“I would but Marc stole him.”_

“Typical…”

*

“Ok I’m at the airport. Can you text me the address of the restaurant again?”

_“Are you coming straight here?”_

“Yeah I think so. Think it’ll be easier. Plus then I get to change in the airport bathroom like a secret agent.”

_“Priorities.”_

“Not even kidding, I have the soundtrack to Casino Royale ready.”

_“Ok. Suit or dress?”_

“Allllllll _Vesper_.”

_“My knees are going to be weak again, aren’t they?”_

“I really hope so.”

_“Well they kind of always are…”_

“Why thank you, Sir. Same, same. Right I’m boarding. See you very soooon. And Alex?”

_“Hmm?”_

“Thank you for bullying me. I would have gone insane.”

*

Saturday

_“Are you still coming on Monday, dear?”_

“Yes, mum. We are. Should be with you by the evening. Ok?”

_“Sounds wonderful. We can’t wait to meet Alex. You are still bringing him?”_

“Yes of course.”

_“Good. That will be lovely then.”_ She trailed off and I could already tell there was most definitely something else.

“What’s wrong?”

_“Nothing.”_

“Don’t lie.”

_“I don’t think it’s best to talk about this over the ph-“_

“Please just tell me.”

_“I don’t-“_

“Please.”

_“Are you sitting down?”_

I took a deep breath and wound my fingers through Alex’s. _Please please please no no-_ “Y-yes.”

_“Ok. Well I’ve been talking to the doctor a bit more over the last-“_

“Please tell me quicker.”

_“Ok. It might be hereditary. Or at least, a slightly higher risk. Probably nothing too m-”_

I took a few seconds to understand the words, expecting it to have been something about her, before I must have zoned out because the phone was gently pried from my fingers, Alex said a cursory explanatory goodbye into it, and then he pulled me in, maybe having heard enough of that to have a clue, jaw clenched and lips whispering in my ear, nothing much, just enough to remind me he was there. _Cocaine and mojitos. Please. Or maybe just you._ I stayed there a few minutes, trying to let it sink in, mind spinning, and then sat up, staring at him. “You heard?”

“Yeah.”

“Can we not talk about this until after the weekend?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I want a drink.”

“I think Marc will have beer.”

“I think that sounds like a plan. What time is it?”

“Early enough.”

“Think he’ll have cocaine and mojitos?”

“Only on Wednesdays, sorry. Today’s special is amphetamine.”

I caught his eye and smiled, trying to communicate how appreciative I was at the playing along, and then yelped as I was hauled to my feet. “Fuuuck!”

“Not yet. Later.” He grinned and licked the end of my nose, same appreciation for how we were going to jump this hurdle, at least at first. “ _Later._ ”


	36. "Dani Pedrosa Is A Cool Motherfucker"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, filling in the Misano gaps ♥
> 
> Please please please let me know what you think! ♥ I think I overdosed on Dani ;)

_Wow._ I smiled again as he murmured again, tiny adjustments in how he was snuggled down, little noises that were so adorable I wanted to record them and make a whole album of it, and ran a finger over his cheek. _Wake up, my love. The alarm would have been 3 minutes away._ “Alex…race day...”

“Hmm…”

“The alarm would be about to go off, baby.”

“Hmm.” His eyelids fluttered ever so slightly and I rubbed my nose against his, still asleep but on the edge.

“Not hmm. Good morning…”

“Hmmmmm….”

“Nope.” I smiled at him and blew some hair off his forehead, wondering if that would work, and after another little moan and stretch one eye opened. “Oh. Hellooooo.”

“Urgh. You’re awake first.”

“I am. So miracles do happen.”

“Maybe they do.” He managed both eyes open, smiling at me and combing some hair behind my ear, stretching more, that reverberating through the mattress. “What time is it?”

“Almost alarm time.”

“Hmm well that’s good.”

“Is it?”

“Yup. Because I lied…I don’t have to be there earlier than normal.” He moved in closer and his eyes flicked between my eyes and mouth, biting his lip and making me lick mine. “I just knew you wouldn’t let me set it early…”

“And you look so innocent, Alex Marquez.”

“Hmm… maybe to everyone else.” His tongue flicked out in a split second attack before he grinned again. “But _never_ to you.”

*

Bea: _I know you’re at the team meal tonight after the race but...Please pick up?_

I stared down at it, frowning and wondering what would make her not just call and call. “Hey...”

_“Hi. Sorry if I panicked you.”_

“Hmm…depends why. You ok?”

_“I’m fine. But I just turned up at your building to check the mail…”_

I felt my heart hit the floor and immediately went through a million and one terrible possibilities. _Fuck._ “Right…”

_“It’s Jordi. The new door man didn’t realise who he was.”_

“Please don’t tell me what I think you’re going to tell me…”

_“He’s been in here.”_

“Fucking hell. What?!”

_“I know. I thought I should call and tell you. I called the police and they got rid of him, but…”_

“But…”

_“It’s a bit of a mess.”_

“What kind of mess?”

_“It’s not great. Please…just stay calm. Most of your other stuff’s ok-ish. Most of your MotoGP stuff is trashed.”_

_Oh my God._ I felt myself start to panic at that, looking around to see if anyone was too near, wanting this to be a bit more private, suddenly cold all over and then hot as I thought of something else, walking out and down towards the beach. “Bike?”

_“Fine. He probably thinks they’re kept in a zoo or something. Didn’t go in the garage.”_

I laughed slightly at that, tears appeared but not yet rolling, and sniffed. “How bad is it?”

_“The champagne bottle from Silverstone is smashed. The photo Alex gave you is in 4 or 5 bits, ripped up. The visor from the signed Hayden helmet isn’t on the helmet anymore but the signature’s fine and I think it’s repairable. Hang on, let me check more…”_ There was some rustling as she obviously went through some stuff, checking the damage. _“The photo prints all seem ok-ish, actually. All the glass is smashed but I think they’re ok…the autographed 250cc Pedrosa one is fine. Ah, except the Montmeló Moto3 2012 one. Alex has been ripped off it.”_

_Jesus._ “Right…” I choked it down and waited for her to say something else, not really sure what I should be asking or why.

_“Like I said, the police came and took him away. They wanted you to come back but turns out if you drop ‘Marc Marquez’ into conversation the law becomes a bit elastic…”_

“Oh you didn’t?”

_“Would he care?”_

“Well, no, but-“

_“I know you don’t want to use it but this isn’t ruining anything for you. Ok? I’m determined. Now I’m going to get it kind of sorted out before you get back, but you need to ring the insurance people on Monday. Ok? And the police, to confirm I’m not also a crazy trespasser.”_

“Ok. Did you check the wardrobe?”

_“Ah. No…hang on…”_ She obviously walked through and opened it, then winced. _“Again, everything’s fine except merchandise. Although he left all the Por Fuera stuff. I guess he doesn’t know what that logo is.”_

“My Dani t shirts…”

_“They’re not ok.”_

That seemed like some sort of final straw and I felt myself start to crack, tears definitely now on their way down my cheeks, biting my lip and Bea staying quiet as I knew she knew she should. _You bastard. Everything before, even everything now. You know that’s the one thing that has always been my favourite thing._ “I-I’ll call you back, ok?”

_“Whenever. I love you, Livi. I’m so sorry.”_

I nodded and cancelled the call, biting the back of my hand slightly, before someone obviously turned up and poked me in the back, making me jump, not knowing the state of me, and I turned round to see the most mournful brown eyes staring at me once he realised. _Oh not you. Please not you._

“Hey. Are you ok? We saw you walk off…”

I shook my head and shoved my phone back in my pocket, trying to stop my lip wobbling and sniffing. “No. Not really.”

“It’s not your mum is-“

“No. It’s not.” I smiled at him and took a deep breath, words seeming insane. “My ex-husband has been in my apartment and smashed up all my MotoGP stuff.”

“What?!”

I watched the expression on his face and just wondered how I’d ever, ever lived without these people in my life. _Genuine, hard working, a little crazy, this one sometimes a little grumpy but with a heart bigger than he is._ “Yup. Bad things come 45 million at a time." _Actually._ "I think I need a shopping trip to your merch stand.”

“God. Oh my God…that’s horrible...?!”

“Hmm I think most of your stuff is pretty nice, actually.”

He smiled at that, pulling me into a hug, awkward but genuine, and I felt myself completely _melt,_ waves a few feet away seeming to add to the calming atmosphere. “How are you joking right now?”

“Well…you know. It’s not cool to cry in front of cool people.”

“Oh ok. Am I cool?”

“The coolest. You should sell t shirts that say _Dani Pedrosa is a cool motherfucker_ on them.”

“That sounds like it would sell pretty well.”

I pulled away slightly and sniffed again, tears on cheeks but not too bad, and nodded, trying to grin. “I’d buy it.”

“You really don’t have to. I will make it happen! And give me a list of everything that’s gone, ok?”

“Wh-“

“Because you don’t have to buy it all from my merchandise stand. Or anyone else’s. Not the VR46 stuff anyway. I’ll call Vale and we’ll get everything sorted. This year’s…there might be some last year’s left too.”

“But you don-“

“Yeah, I do. It won’t be a problem. And it will help, at least a bit?”

“It would be amazing.”

“Then we’ll sort it. Whose is it?”

“Yours. Mostly yours. He didn’t touch the Jorge stuff. A couple of VR46 things, some Marc. Alex…”

“No problem. Tomorrow, I’ll call Vale and find out how we sort it. Right?”

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s a massive honour to have started to get to know you, you know that?”

He went slightly red, seriousness never usually a thing I did, ever, around anyone except Alex and Bea, and shuffled on his feet slightly. “Wh…”

“I just mean…sometimes people meet their heroes and they’re disappointed. I’m not disappointed. Ok…” I sighed and smiled at him, awkward but somehow happy I was talking at him. “Fangirl alert…ready?”

“Fire away.” The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled back at me, taking my lead and sitting on the sand, waving ‘it’s ok’ as I lit a cigarette. “I’m getting more used to it.”

“Right.” _Too many mojitos for this._ “You’ve been my favourite rider ever since you won your first title. Not because you’re pretty or because I’ve got some teenage crush on you. Although I really do…” I grinned at him and felt my chest constrict as he raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, killing me hard-ly. “Not because of that. Because you just keep going. And that’s important. Maybe it sounds stupid and God knows I’ve had enough shit from people about it, but people like you, Rafa Nadal, Fernando Alonso. Marc. Jorge. _Alex._ You’re all different, but you’re so important. Because sometimes people need examples, because not everyone’s born with everything they need to face what they have thrown at them. And watching you ignore everyone…what was that quote? _El tigre no pierde el sueño por la opinión de las ovejas_? That attitude literally kept me going. So many times. And watching you on track fighting and winning, sometimes losing, sometimes getting hurt but always getting back up…that’s worth a lot to me. And that’s why he did it. That’s why he went into an apartment full of reasonably expensive stuff and only smashed up MotoGP stuff. Photos. T shirts. Nothing over a hundred Euros. Because he knows that’s my thing, and he knows what it means to me, and he knows it doesn’t cost me much in money, it only costs me in hurt. So…sorry I’m slightly tipsy but you get what I’m trying to say. Just…as a fan…thanks? For being that. For even being here right now, in person, which blows my mind, listening to me nervously blabber at you about how amazing you are even though I don’t know you very well. Just…it’s worth it. I don’t know. Every time you get back up, and I’m sure I can say this for a lot of people who support you, that gives us an extra something to get back up again too. And I know I’m so lucky, because I don’t have to do that on my own anymore. I have Alex. But still…it means a lot and it always will and thank you Dani and you’re amazing and now I’ll be quiet.”

He stared at me sideways for a few seconds as I nervously stared ahead, cringing, blowing some smoke away from him to my right, feeling my heart hammer and despite the alcohol knowing I’d said almost what I wanted to but also knowing I had to blush. _Please do what you’ve already had to do before. Just breeze past it._ “I’m not sure what to say.”

“M-Maybe just forget I said anything. Sorry. I’ve had a few too many…”

“No, I never want to forget you said anything. I just don’t think I’ve had _enough_ to drink to reply how I want to.”

_Oh._ I swallowed and felt his hand go round my shoulders, pulling me in, and leaned into it as though that was completely normal, heart now nearing 190bpm. “Oh.”

“Oh? It makes me very proud to have inspired people like you. And thank you for saying that, now I have something else to think about when I do hit the floor and sometimes wonder why I keep doing this to myself.” He smiled and gave me a squeeze. “Now, I have a feeling this is an Alex thing. He was in the bathroom and Marc saw you go and thought someone should follow you. Do you want me to go and get-“ He stopped as his phone vibrated in his pocket and pulled it out, holding it up for me to read. “Ah.”

Marc: _She ok? You’ve been a while and Alex can’t find you._

He smiled at me, typing a reply and showing me what it was, and then pressed a kiss into my hair and squeezed again. “He’ll probably arrive running…”

Dani: _Not really. Across the road on the beach under the second palm tree. Send Alex?_

He wasn’t running but if he’d been Dani’s height it would have been at least a brisk jog.

*

Monday

“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.”

I smiled into the pillow and wriggled slightly as some very curious fingers traced over my side. _Back to normal._ “Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.” _Yesssss._

“Yes. Definitely.” Lips hit my neck, gentle but with a definite purpose, the curious fingers now exploring the front of me, pulling me in, moving lower. “Please wake up.”

“Ok. Ok…” I waited a couple of seconds, already feeling impossibly turned on, and then suddenly turned over and grinned at him. “MORNING!”

“MORNING!”

I grinned at the wide eyes and accepted a very sloppy, lazy and heavenly kiss, snuggling down and moaning into his mouth before I got pinned down. “What are the chances of breakfast in bed?”

“Very very high.”

“Good. Better work up an appetite then…”

“Hmm. First though…you ok?” He scattered a gentle line of kisses down my neck and then smiled, eyes on mine, close and searching. “A bit better now than yesterday?”

I nodded and smiled, running my fingers down his spine and feeling his skin shiver. “A lot better. And even if not…you are so perfect…” I recaptured his mouth with mine and nipped his lip as he pressed himself lower, “…that I think you could heal _anything_...”

“Cliché…”

“Yup…” I grinned and nibbled his ear lobe. “Shut up.”

“Yes, Miss.”

“Oh _don’t_ bring that into it…”

“You know what I thought last night…” The words came out in between gasps and kisses as and when his tongue was free. “Is that we’re going to have to sleep in that bed again tonight…”

“Which…one…”

“The bed that made my ass sore.”

The words rang around the room for a few seconds before we both burst into giggles and I nodded, forehead to forehead, his eyes shining at me in happy cringing, and I squeezed his ass to earn a yelp.

“Oh, THAT bed.”

“THAT bed. With your parents there…”

I grinned and raised my eyebrows, trying to keep my breath steady despite the path his fingers were starting to race. “Well then I guess you’ll have to gag me…”

“Ohhhh Olivia…”

“Your eyes have gone black again.”

“Hmm really? Don’t know why. But your cheeks look a bit flushed…and…what’s this?” He grinned, pure, delicious evil, as his hand left between my legs and he sucked his fingers, eyes locked on mine. “Hmm tasty…think that needs better investigation…”

I relaxed into the pillow, blissfully distracted by Alex Marquez’s tongue once again, and ran my fingers through his hair as my eyes rolled back. _Good God._ “I-I think you’d better dig deep…”


	37. Fresh Scenery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much plot...
> 
> Needed to put something down to kickstart it again after yesterday :( ♥

_“Olivia…? Where are you?”_

I glanced up at Alex and saw the same expression staring back at me. We’d talked, laughed, enjoyed a meal. They’d raised their eyebrows at him slightly, and I knew there were words behind the scenes to be said, but it had been mostly positive. But she would not leave us alone.

“In the bathroom, mum.”

_“Bath or bathroom?”_

“BATH.”

_“Are you decent? I need to talk to about something.”_

“Er…maybe not right now?”

_“Haven’t you got enough bubbles to-“_

“Yeah, I think we have.” I cringed and waited for the ‘we’ to sink in, not having meant to say that, and then heard the flustered noises on the other side of the door, Alex blushing darker pink than the faded teenage-era towels we’d been given. I mouthed ‘sorry’ at him and smiled at the face of pure horror.

_“Did you say we?”_

_Yes, mother. I did._ “Hmm…yeah…”

*

Monday, after the weekend and the way I’d felt on the way, we decided to leave everything unsaid and leave those phone calls for the following morning. Just try and smile through it, not think about too much, and enjoy it as best we could. And my parents seemed to want to do the same. Alex was intimidated, I could tell easily, as I think they could, but we sat close enough together during dinner for my leg to be against his, reassurance constant, very impressed with how he was dealing with everything. When we got there, they weren’t there. So we went for a walk around the village, pretty out of place in our tight jeans and motorbike merchandise, but weirdly, for the first time since Vienna, completely relaxed out in public. No one in a 50 mile radius was going to know who he was, and it was bliss, and we ended up in a tea room – him still wide eyed and charmed by all the ruralness, me frowning up at the trees knowing Autumn was coming and feeling relieved I wasn’t going to be there to see it. Then, we went back, we walked in, I introduced him, and then in a blur we were sitting down eating.

“So, what do you do, Alex?”

My mother, in the way she always had, continued speaking her native language, English. My dad, as he always did, refused to leave Spanish unless there was a particularly juicy English word he wanted to use. So she asked in English, she replied in English, but everything else was in Spanish. That, at least, made it a bit easier.

He looked at me, eyes a bit wide, wondering if I’d really told them nothing, and I shrugged slightly, trying to communicate the truth: _I told them you were important. I told them it’s serious. I told them nothing else._

“I’m a motorbike rider.”

“You mean, you race?”

“Yes.” He nodded and took a deep breath as my hand squeezed his knee under the table. “In the World Championship.”

“Hmm.” Half impressed, half extremely wary. “Is that a serious career?”

“Yes.” I raised my eyebrow at her and nodded. “He’s a contender for the title this year, in the lower category, and next year he’s moving up to the next level. Moto2? The one just below MotoGP.”

“Oh. So you win races?”

“Yeah.” Alex smiled at that, bashfully shy again, and nodded. “I do. I’m second in the championship at the moment, and it’s my second full season. In 2012 I won the CEV…the Spanish national championship?”

“Oh. Well…”

_Come on, say your last name. Mention your brother. Because they’re going to know who that is. Or he will._ “Yeah.” I realised he wasn’t going to and gave him a look. “Alex Marquez? Estrella Galicia 0,0?”

“Marquez?”

I nodded and took a sip of my drink, Alex pink again, but happily. “Yeah…you might know who my brother is a bit more than me…”

They looked at each other and we looked at each other before anyone carried on.

“Youngest World Champion ever…”

“Yup.”

“21…”

“Yup…”

I braced myself for it, my dad finally taking part in the conversation, and squeezed Alex’s knee again. 

“And you’re his younger brother..?”

“Yes.” Alex did the same as me and took another sip of win to escape the intense gaze. “I am. I’m eighteen…”

We both cringed, that by now not shocking or weird to me because he was _Alex_ , just because of the look on my dad’s face, and carried on eating. And they immediately changed the subject.

*

“Yes, mum. I said we…”

_“I thought Alex had gone out for a run..”_

“He did. He’s back now.” I raised my eyebrows at him and then poked him to make him talk.

“Y-Yeah…I’m back now…” He went red again and looked at me like he wanted to kill me.

_“Maybe I’ll, er…try again tomorrow, then…”_

“Ok. Goodnight, mum. I love you.”

_“Night honey. You too. Goodnight Alex…”_

“G-goodnight…”

We waited until she’d obviously left until I grinned at him and he sent a massive wave of bubbles heading for me. “Hey!”

“Hey?! What the fuck was that?!”

“Sorry…didn’t really mean for that to happen…”

“Pffff.” He narrowed his eyes at me and then grabbed the sides of the bath as my foot got a little adventurous. “Livi…”

“Oooh, warning voice…”

“Livi they might hear…”

“They might. Sounds like a challenge…?”

I smiled at the perfect split between _Oh God Yes_ and _Oh God No_ written on his face and moved across to sit in front of him, turning round, friction as I leaned back sending a shiver through us, and felt his arms curve around me, lips murmuring into my neck. “Not here, though. In bed…”

“Yeah. Too slippy here…too…something.”

“I think I know what you mean.”

“Not again…you know you have to stop reading my mind at some point?”

“Nah.” He gave me a squeeze and slid us further under the water so we were almost up to our chins. “It’s a superpower. Can’t turn those off…”

“So that’s your secret…?” I ran my tongue over the bit of his arm I could reach and then nibbled. “That’s how you know what you’re doing?”

“It’s not how I know what I’m doing. I know what I’m doing because we fit.” He moved again, so I was perfectly surrounded and cocooned, and then pressed his lips against my ear. “You know what I mean.”

“I think I do.”

“I know you do.”

“It’s scary, isn’t it? How quickly I get all pathetic when you’re not here.”

“It makes me feel masculine and powerful.” I laughed at that and nudged him before laughing at the next bit. “But then a second later I’m the same, so…” 

“Ok.” _I’ll never be able to let that sink in. Surely, at some point you’re going to wake up and realise I’m really not that interesting._ “That makes me feel a bit better.”

“Hmm.”

We settled back again, one of those moments that are incredibly intimate but somehow completely comfortable and normal, and I closed my eyes and let us drift on it for a few minutes before he moved again, hands giving me a squeeze, signal to move, and I felt my breath catch in my throat watching him slick his hair back, drip rolling down his nose, completely unaware I was watching, wrapping the towel round his waist and looking back at me, blushing slightly as he saw me watching, standing there and waiting, letting his eyes flick over me. “Problem?”

“So many..”

“Feeling ok?”

“Thank you for checking, I’m feeling ok. You going to ring Marc?”

“Yeah, I’d better. I know he’s nervous about the Ranch and everything…”

“That’s so adorable.”

He narrowed his eyes at that and then grinned. “That word is reserved for me. Ok?”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry.”

“And Dani.”

“Ok cool, thought that was going to get awkward…”

I got my ass slapped slightly on the way back into the bedroom, en suite now seeming like God’s greatest gift, and snuggled down into the sheets, memory of the last time we’d been there sending little fizzes through me as he dialled Marc and talked, sat on the chair opposite, as always a complete joy to observe when he didn’t know it was happening, towel teasing, hair still wet and messy, a picture of perfection worth taking a picture of. So I did, and he looked back at me and smiled, look of anticipation on his face, I imagined, the same as on mine. Saying his goodbye, cancelling the call, dropping the towel and walking back over, turning the main light off, lower light suddenly making everything seem closer.

“You know the last time we were here, we abused this bed quite a lot.”

I nodded, eyes locked together, him staring down at me. “We did.”

“So we should probably make up a bit for that, right?”

I nodded again, feeling myself just give myself up so terrifyingly quickly as his tongue found mine and his fingers grazed over my ribs, so gentle, leaning lower as my hands went round him to pull him down, mouth on my neck, humming against the skin in response to the noises I could hear coming from me as two fingers traced between my legs and then pushed inside, tongue flicking over my neck as I pushed my head back into the pillow, hand going through his hair, eyes shut, breath quickening as his movements did.

“God, Livi…”

The noise I made wasn’t really words but he got it.

“Like this…it’s just…” _The things I can do to you._

He pulled his fingers out and slowly pushed inside, lips back on mine, no taste of blood like last time we’d been there, everything slow and gentle and all the more incredible for it, his movements so fluid they felt like one carrying me off to somewhere else, finally feeling myself switch everything else off, only him, and us, and _this_ in my brain, one of those nights, like the one after I’d been hit in Cervera, where I felt like I’d just surrendered but in the most positive way, in safe hands. In good hands that knew what I wanted and needed and gave it, and got the same in return, before he pulled out and sat back, pulling me up towards him, face to face and forehead to forehead as I wrapped my legs around him and pulled us together, breath hot on my cheek, my hands around his neck, panting at each other, his eyes locked on mine, both dark and desperate.

“You’re so beautiful. Coming undone…” _Unraveling_.

I shivered as the words whispered into my ear and smiled, feeling my cheeks flush pink as he nibbled my lip and started to move, kisses raining down between my lips and collarbone, the noises coming from him making the hair on the back of my neck stand up and joined by more of mine. _You’re more._ “More…”

“Shhhh…”

I bit my lip as we somehow managed to grin at each other, aware of where we were, and ended up swearing quietly through our panting, getting faster and more desperate until finally I toppled over the edge, him joining me a second after, biting down on his lip hard enough to draw blood, desperate to not make too much noise, me running my tongue over it to soothe it and resting my forehead on his, muscles twitching and breath gradually slowing, pulling out and lying back down, pulling me in, _we need another bath_ , fingers playing patterns on my back as we stayed quiet for a few minutes, just enjoying the afterglow.

“Livi…”

“Hmm?”

“You’re coming to stay in Cervera this week?”

“Hmm. If that’s ok.”

“Of course. You wouldn’t rather I came to stay with you?”

I smiled and shook my head slightly, tracing my finger over his chest and then tilting my head up to get eye contact. “Not yet. If that’s ok…fresh scenery.”

“That’s ok. You know...after we get back from Asia…”

“Yes?”

He smiled and bit his lip slightly nervously. 

“Um...how would you feel about me spending more time at your place?”


	38. "What's My Line" (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicked another Buffy title ;) ♥
> 
> Sorry if you were wanting some lighter relief here, it's maybe not as 'jajajaja' as normal...but paciencia... ;) ♥

“H-hi. I was told to call you about a break in at my apart-“

_“Olivia Álvarez?”_

“Yeah, that’s me. I guess I have the right number, then.”

_“You do. Now, all we need to know at this stage is when you’ll be back in Catalunya to start sorting through everything.”_

_Wow. The Marquez effect. ‘Whenever you want…’_ “O-ok. Well…Thursday evening…”

_“Ok. So if we arrange a time on Friday?”_

“That would be fine. Great. Well…you know…” I looked up at Alex and felt myself manage a smile at the wide, nervous eyes looking back at me, sat opposite each other next to the breakfast bar, chairs rotated to face each other, his responding smile making mine wider and a lot more genuine. “But that would be ok.”

_“Ok. I understand you don’t plan on going back to the apartment straight away?”_

_And how do you know that…_ I praised Bea’s obvious clandestine conversing with the officers of the law and nodded to myself. “No, I’m not. I’m going to be in Cervera.” _You know why…?_

_“If it’s more convenient we can arrange the appointment there…”_

“That would be good. Thank you.”

_“No problem. You know where to find us?”_

_On the road down from Rufea. I do._ “Yes. I’ve been there before.”

_“Ok. 11am on Friday, is that ok?”_

I took a deep breath and nodded, hating having a specific time in my head to now hone in on, but happy to be one less task away from a successful enough day. “Yes, that’s fine. Thank you.”

_“No problem. Goodbye, Miss Álvarez. Have a good day.”_

I replied and cancelled the call and looked back at Alex, letting out another breath and managing to smile back. “One down. Cervera, Friday at 11am.”

“Oh? That’s good.”

“I think when Bea said she mentioned who you were; she was being a bit dishonest. I think she meant she threatened them with some sort of Marquez Mafia or something.”

He laughed slightly at that and shrugged happily, no problem with it, and then leaned in to press a kiss on my forehead. “One down. Next?”

“Pff. Next…insurance I guess. See how it stands when the doorman lets the wanker in.”

“You be ok for that one? I need to call my mum and dad.”

“I will. Thank you.” I watched him nod and smile and walk to the door and then bit my lip. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

_God, even after I few seconds I forget how you look at me and then do you it again and…_ “You know at some point, I’ll be the same person I was before, right?”

“What?” He frowned and turned back round to face me properly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” _I mean the person who laughed and joked more than wobbled their lip._ “I mean I hope everything will be a bit more fun again. I’m so-“

“Livi...”

I smiled and took a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly and nodding. _Warning voice._ “Sorry…”

“Oh, you will be...”

“Ok leave!” I pointed out the door and grinned at the knowing smile on his face. “Don’t do it. I know everyone’s out, but don’t do it.”

“Gone.”

I smiled as he went and yawned slightly, smoothing down the paper I was looking at to get the number, and then dialled it before smiling again at the now empty door. _Even when you’re gone, I’m smiling._ I put it on speaker and dabbed at the buttons to choose options, confident enough that I’d end up on hold to put the kettle on, proved right, and then slurped my way through half the cup before someone finally answered. And confirmed it _sorry that sounds awful but tough shit_. I sighed, nodded to myself again which I kept failing to realise they couldn’t see on the other end of the line, then took the rest of my cup outside to sit on the wall, next to the empty garden chairs, making no sense, and lit a cigarette before doing what I’d been told to do a while earlier but had been too nervous to. But happily nervous.

I listened to it ring and then held my breath as it connected, by now familiar voice sending another fan girl squee through me. _Oh my God I have your number and you answer the phone like you actually want to talk to me._

_“Hello! How are you?”_

“Hi. I’m ok thanks, lots of fun so far with the police and insurance. You?”

_“Urgh. I can imagine. So bad news? And I’m good, thanks.”_

_You’re amazing, actually._ “Bad news. I need your merchandise aid package, I’m afraid.”

_“No problem. It’s all on standby and ready. Now I need a list of everything…how long is that going to take?”_

“You know, I thought I was being all coy and not letting on how obsessed I am…”

_“Of course. I expect there to be no more than 30 to 50 items.”_

“Dani?”

_“Yeah?”_

“Fuck off.”

He giggled down the phone and I felt my heart melt. _Please just let me have a tiny pet one to carry round with me. Please?_

_“That’s maybe a bit harsh…”_

“I’m feeling fragile.”

_“Don’t bite the hand that feeds!”_

“You know if you’re going to feed me as well, the bill’s going to go up considerably.”

Another laugh, another small heart attack for me, and then finally I was sat listing half a catalogue of Dani merch directly to Dani, little pencil scribbles audible down the line as he took notes, face redder and redder but heart more and more warmed.

_“Well…it’s not too bad…”_

“Um…that’s the first bit?”

_“Fucking hell.”_

I grinned at that, the language usually less colourful, and agreed. “Yeah I know. Sorry…”

_“You know what I’m curious about?”_

“Hmm?” _Please say your sexuality._

_“Do you wear this stuff when Alex is there? Like, when you’re together?”_

I contemplated the joke for just long enough to know I should dare to make it. “No. When we’re _together_ , I make _him_ wear it...”

Splutter. _“You’re evil.”_ Giggle, audible blush.

“Sorry…I can’t help it. I’m programmed to be a dick.”

_“Nah you’re just funny, and maybe slightly weird.”_

“So you would like me to keep my humour filter turned off?”

_“Yeah. Although I worry I’ll regret that decision..”_

“Is that a challenge?”

_“NO!!”_ He laughed again and then coughed to clear his throat, tea break obviously over and ready for round 2. _“Ok so hit me with the rest…”_

I did, more colourful language, a nice chat in general, friendly goodbyes that made me squee again. And then arms picking me up from behind and twirling me around, a few more minute of glorious distraction until I sighed happily and wrapped my arms around him under the unzipped jacket. “Hmm. I’ve been thinking…”

“…yeah…?”

_Yes, exactly. About that._ “About what we talked about last night…”

“Right…” He pulled away slightly and stared down at me, eyes round and nervously expectant, making me nervous too. “Please let it be good…”

“First, I’m sorry I needed to keep you hanging for a while…”

“That’s ok. I understand.”

“Still, you know. I hope you know it’s nothing to do with how much I love you-“

“Don’t be stupid. Just tell me…?”

“Ok.” I nodded and took a deep breath. “Honestly? I don’t want to live there anymore. I really don’t. I was already slightly thinking about moving, but now…I don’t know. It sounds stupid because people have break ins all the time and they don’t fucking fall apart. But it’s just…I got that place for me. It was meant to be…safe. You know? And he’d never been in there before. It was free of all that. No one except me and Bea has ever slept there. Except you. He never did. And now it just feels…tainted? And I know that’s kind of what he wanted to achieve, but it doesn’t feel like it did…”

“Right…making sense so far. Kind of. In your special way…” I smacked him for the smirk and found myself grinning back.

“Hey. I’m making so much sense! But yeah…so I don’t want to live there anymore. I think my notice is 4 weeks…” _You know, Motegi…_

“So you don’t want me to bring down more stuff that you’ll then have to move out?”

“Kind of. But…” _Come on. Dare._ “I don’t want to live in the city anymore. If I want to go out and have some drinks, or anything like that, I have enough money to just get a hotel. Or I can stay with Bea. I don’t like riding through all the traffic to get out to the roads that are actually fun. I don’t like the noise all the time…because I’m away so much anyway, mostly in big cities fitting a week’s worth of stuff into 3 days, back on a plane…well, you know. And I, er…I think my priorities are a bit different, now…”

“Ok…you say now…you mean because you’re older or be-“

“Because of you.”

“Oh.” He took a deep breath and then smiled. “I was worried you were going to spend this speech telling me ‘sorry but I really don’t want your shit in my house.’”

“Nah, I do. More hoodies for me…”

“More hoodies. More me?”

“Obviously yeah that is the best bit…”

“Good. Ok, I’m still smiling. Why do I sense a but?”

“Not a but…I just…I don’t think we’re ready to move in together, not fully…ok?”

“Ok…”

I watched his face fall and leaned up to peck him on the lips. “Not all the time. But I would love you to bring some stuff to my house. I would love you to have stuff there, I’d love to have your stuff there when you’re not. You know, you having a key…I think that sounds great…”

“Ok. But you mean…after you find somewhere new, right?”

“Exactly. But…if you want to look at some places with me, that would be good. Maybe, with the…er…future in mind?”

“The future.”

“Don’t be scared.”

“I’m not scared. How far are you thinking?”

“How far are _you_ thinking?!”

“Well…I don’t know…” He blushed slightly and bit his lip before he carried on. “I mean…there’s before next season. Then there’s…for us to move into together at some point…before next season? In five years? Don’t know how long you want. And then there’s, you know…needing extra bedrooms…”

_Holy shit._ I felt my own chest constrict and wondered how he was so calm, eyes obviously widening and giving that away, being manhandled back to the wall and sat down on it gently but forcefully. “Wh…”

“Stay calm…”

“But…wh…I don’t…”

“Ok, breathe.” He grinned at my panic, obviously finding it adorable and worrying in equal measure, as usual ice cool and no panic in him at all. “I don’t mean this week or anything. I mean…well, I don’t know. I guess we’d have to talk about it properly…but…I kind of imagined being retired before having kids. Don’t worry – I’m really not wanting them now. That would be insane. But…assuming you want them…I do…but when I retire I’m hopefully going to be sort of, 30+. And that makes you almost 40, which I guess wouldn’t be good for you, or for-“

“Alex. Stop.”

“Ok…” He stared down at me; another cigarette now lit and eyes still wide, staring at the floor, and waited. “Stop panicking.”

“Can’t.”

“You can. Come on, few deep breaths.”

“Few deep drags.” I blew the smoke away from him and then finally managed to make eye contact again. “Alex…you know what you’re saying, right?”

“I know exactly what I’m saying. I think I just realise that I mean it in a long time, and am not planning on making a junior Marquez army any time soon. So relax!”

“But you’ve ev-“

“Yeah, I’ve thought about it. Of course I’ve thought about it. You haven’t?”

“Ok maybe I have…”

“So why all this?” He smiled again, different to before, and crouched down in front of me to take my hands. “What’s so scary?”

I thought about it for a few seconds and then took a deep breath. “Honestly? I’m not that scared for me. I’m scared for you.”

“For me?!”

“Hmm. You’re so young, baby. To be thinking about this-“

“Please don’t. I am, and that means that I do things like…leave cereal bowls next to the bed and stuff…but…does it make a difference? By the time this stuff happens I’m not going to be 18 anymore, you know. I’m getting older every day…”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“I think I’m getting older more than every day.”

“Hey, no. Come on…it’s not that big a gap.”

“Sometimes it feels like a vampire novel. You know, like it’s not fair for me to love you because you should be with-“

“Don’t. It’s not that bad. It’s not going to matter at all, ever, except for this one thing. Right?”

“You mean kids…”

“Yeah. I do. You know you never said if you do want them?”

“I do.”

“Ok, so we’re on the same page. Right?”

“We’ll never be on the same page. I’ll always be further towards the end.”

“Please, Livi. Please…”

“I’m sorry I need to just…go for a walk for a while. Ok?”

“What-“

“No, please. Sorry. I’ll be back in a few-“

He suddenly realised what else might be on my mind and swallowed down a lump in his throat. _Oh, I understand._ “You talked to your mum about-“

_I did. I did._ “Yup.” I felt my lip wobble and took a few more steps. “I’ll be back soon. Ok?”

“Can’t I-“

“No. Not this time. I’ll be back in a bit, ok?”

It really wasn’t, but he did let me go.


	39. "What's My Line" (Part 2)

“It’s me, again.”

_“Hello, me again…!”_

“HI. Sorry I just need to talk to mum.”

_“Ok…sorry. You ok?”_

“No, I’m not ok. I’ll explain but I really-“

_“Ok, ok. She’s here.”… “Alex? Are you ok?”_

“Hi. Sorry. And no…” 

_“What happened sweetheart?”_

“Nothing happened. I mean…I…don’t know where to start.”

_“Is it something with you and Olivia-“_

“Yeah but not like that. We’ve not had a fight…well, not really…I just…you know her husband broke into her apartment…”

_“Yes.”_

“Well…I mean…last night we were talking about maybe…moving in together? Or at least spending more time together, and then she says she wants to leave the place she has now…so we were talking about that, about her finding somewhere that we could both eventually move into…”

_“Ok. That’s a big step you know, darling...Is that what you want?”_

“That’s what I want. More than anything. It’s not her pushing me, mum. It’s almost the opposite…”

_“Oh, ok. Ok. Wow…”_

“And then I asked about whether we’d need any extra bedrooms…you know…how far into the future we were talking about…”

There was a sharp intake of breath from the living room in Cervera and Alex bit his lip. _“Alex you know you’re still very young-“_

“I know, don’t. I mean in the future. A long way into it. But…obviously, Livi’s older. And she’s always really aware of that…you know she said it was like a vampire novel…but…” He trailed off and took a few breaths to try and sound as calm as he wanted to and then carried on. “But I don’t care. It’s not that bad. It’s not like its decades. We’d just have to judge it right…”

_“Ok sweetheart. So…does she have a problem with that?”_

“N-not really…she just…ok you know her mum got diagnosed with ovarian cancer…”

_“Oh God, no I didn’t. Oh poor girl! Is she ok? How is her mother? What’s-“_

“They caught it really early, Livi’s being a hero. Brave face and everything. But…it could be hereditary…or, you know. Higher risk to her…”

_“Oh God.”_

“Yeah.” His voice finally cracked and he sniffed, not really having said that out loud himself since he’d known, somehow making it real. “I think…I don’t know what I think. But I can’t make it better. I can’t fucking do anything about it and I don’t know what to do or say, I don’t know how you deal with this situation. I don’t know if talking about all this future stuff was stupid, kids…given…you know. I don’t-“

_“Shh, shh. It’s ok. Take a few deep breaths, better. Ok. Where’s Olivia at the moment?”_

“Sh-she went for a walk, on her own.”

_“After you talked about this?”_

“Yeah. And I…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say…she’s never _ever_ walked away from me before. You know?”

_“It’s ok. We’ll work it out. Ok?”_

“But how can we-“

_“Just stay calm, and let’s start at the beginning again. Ok?”_

Alex nodded to himself, taking a deep breath and rolling onto his back, splayed out on the bed, and bit his lip again. “Ok..”

*

I only realised where I was going when I got there, and I sat down on the bench hard, lighting another cigarette and realising the horrible irony, biting down on my lip.

_I hope you understand._

I sat there for about half an hour, just trying to breathe and think about everything, trying to stop panicking, trying to figure out how to say everything to him without being the kind of bitch that just walked off when he was obviously upset as well. 

Then I walked back, slowly, still concentrating on calm more than anything, and then paused at the front door for a few seconds, eyes closed, and went back in.

“Hey.”

He was sat on the sofa playing on the Xbox that I’d abandoned there a few years ago, and immediately put the controller down and turned the TV off. “Hi. You ok?”

“Hmm…not really. But I’m really sorry I walked off, ok? I know that just made it worse, I know this isn’t fun for you either-“

“Don’t keep-“

“No, listen. I mean it. Be honest…you’re feeling this too, aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah…”

“But, it hurts. Doesn’t it?”

“But it’s not about m-“

“Yes, it is. It’s about you. It’s all about you.” I gulped slightly and sat down next to him, leaning my head onto his shoulder and feeling a kiss pressed into my hair. _Because look at you._ “Because I love you. And ok, so a few things happened…but this has to stop. I hate it. Don’t you? Be honest.”

“Well, yeah but-“

“I’m worried about my mum, and I’m pissed off my apartment got turned over. But I’m worried about you, because I’m worried you want things that I won’t be able to give you when you want them. And I’m worried about you repeating my mistakes.” I looked sideways at him and nodded, lacing our fingers together. “And I didn’t realise it was a mistake for years.”

“You think I’m making a mistake with you?”

I closed my eyes for a second and squeezed his hand briefly before looking back at him. “No. I don’t think you _are_ , I’m just worried it’s possible.”

“Do you not believe how I feel about you, or what?”

“No, I believe you. I love you, too. This, us…It seems insane. And for me, forever is fine. Forever is a dream come true. But for y-“

“Ok, this is getting annoying now.” He took his hand back and sighed. “You’re getting ravelled up in my age and everyth-”

“That’s not what-“

“It kind of is, really. Because I’m telling you that I love you, and I’m telling you that I want you…problems, hurdles, whatever…I don’t care. I just want you. It kind of sounds like you’re trying to tell me you know best and that if I’d just change my way of thinking a bit, I’d realise you’re right and fuck off and leave you.”

 _Woah._ “That’s not what I mean.”

“Well then you’re explaining everything wrong. It’s not difficult, is it? I love you. You love me. I have no interest in cheating on you, you have no interest in cheating on me. We work, we have so much fun. We help each other when nobody else can. How, I mean really, _how_ is that a mistake?”

“But is it really that simple?”

“Yes.” He let out a long sigh and then took my hand again. “It’s really simple. I don’t…I mean…ok so I wasn’t really looking for anything like this. I don’t, or I didn’t…have loads of one night stands or anything, before you. I’ve never been that kind of person…but now I have found you, I don’t want anything else. Ok? The idea that you’re somehow depriving me of something because I can’t go out and have drunken sex with people is so fucking ridiculous.” He actually laughed slightly and then locked eyes with me again. “You know? How many people I meet for a random night of fun am I going to let fuck me in the ass with a strap on, Olivia?”

I blushed slightly and found his smile annoyingly infectious. “Well I don’t-“

“I do know! Fucking zero. Ever, ever, ever. Can you _imagine_ that story? ‘Marc Marquez’s brother likes it up the ass.’ Seriously.”

“That’s not a good basis for a relationship th-“

“Yeah, it is. Because it’s about trust. I trust you. But it’s getting boring. Ok? Hearing all this stuff, that’s doing the damage. Seeing you hurt or upset is horrible, but I can help, and I love being able to help. But all this doubt-”

“But-“

“No. I mean it. _I mean it._ There’ll be some day when I need a few more hugs, and I know you’ll give them to me and love me. Why are you so shocked when I-“

“Because you’re incredible.”

“And you are.”

“But I’m seriously not. I’m seriously not that-“

“Ok, now I’m going to go for a walk. When I come back, you’re going to look at me and tell me what you want, what you honestly want, without trying to decide what you think I want because I’ve already told you so keep your fucking nose out of trying to second guess me…” 

He nodded, eyes wide, finger genuinely wagging at me and slight smirk, and then walked off.

And I sat there, still wallowing in everything, before remembering the first time this whole thing had even been in my mind, and Bea chain smoking on my balcony, and the way she'd made me say out loud what I was thinking.

_I've never felt anything like this before..._

And I remembered her line about when people become who they are, how he seemed pretty level headed, and took a deep breath. _It's me._

One more cigarette in the garden, my parents back first, judging, wondering where he was, mood flat and awkward, even worse for him I imagined as he had to run the gauntlet back through them and the house to find me. 

"Right. Are you Olivia...?" He poked me and even stole the cigarette for a drag, blowing back in my mouth, so close and _back_ and hypnotically perfect, again, _yawn_. "Because that other person was fucking boring."

"Pfff!" I grinned and elbowed him slightly, maybe a bit too hard, sending him sprawling onto the grass yelping and grabbing me down with him, sat on his crotch and glancing back at the house to check we weren't observed. "This person is rude!"

"Ha. Says you...really...?" He smirked at me and pinched my sides, giggling at my wriggling. 

"Pfff. Again."

"I want my answer, if you're Olivia."

"I am Olivia. But you can call me Livi."

"Hi, Livi. I'm Alex. I love you."

"Oh well that's terribly forward..."

"Ok seriously, now? Just answer the question."

"Fine." I narrowed my eyes at him and then leaned down for a kiss. "This is driving me crazy. Let's stay with your parents for Aragon, then go to Japan early, yeah?"

"Not answering the question, Olivia. But yes? That sounds amazing."

"Good. Right, I'm going to get rid of that place, put my stuff all in storage, come to the Asian races with you...and then before Cheste I'll look for somewhere. With one bedroom, right now. Somewhere in a sensible distance of Cervera. Somewhere that you can spend as much time as you like there, and have stuff there but if I say 'not tonight', you go home. Ok?"

"No. Amazing." He grinned, pushing me off and then hoisting me up, carrying me back in the house and nodding red faced at my dad on the way to the bedroom, kicking the door shut and dumping me unceremoniously in the middle. "You really had me worried, there."

"If in doubt, look in the mirror."

"Oh you only want me for that, then?"

"Yeah. So hurry up. Get it all out..."

He leant down on top of me and grinned, wickedly, licking his lips and making me shiver. "Want to help?"

"Maybe..." I turned my head as he leant down and felt another shiver as his lips pressed against my ear, tongue flicking over the earlobe. "What's it worth?"

"Hmm..." He pretended to think about it before grabbing me between the legs and grinning at the half muffled little yelp I made. "Well..."

"Ok, ok, ok, ok...fine let's have ten kids and move to rural England next week..." My voice got higher as the unzipped the fly and popped the button on my jeans, hand shoving roughly under the fabric and making me groan again. _Rough enough. Just rough enough._ "Ok I'll give up work and learn how to cook...?" Still more. "Ok ok...I'll...do...anything..."

"Hmm...sounds promising. Anything?"

I grabbed his head down into a kiss and nodded. " _Anything._ "

"Ok." He pulled away long enough to get eye contact and punctuated it with a gentle kiss. "Then just trust me, and love me, and stop panicking..."


	40. Ta-dah!

We were fine, after that. Although _fine is not a Marquez word_ so maybe we were back to being incredible. And back to laughing, and messing around, and the next night we went out for some food, just the two of us, gastro pub, the full British middle class experience for him, which he loved, and then walked back hand in hand like we were 14 on the way back from the school disco.

The mood in the house had been flat before, and it was worse when we got back. My mother is not a talker and I don’t think my parents had really talked about anything, my dad not willing to push, understandably, but all of that coming out in passive aggression towards me and Alex, especially him, little things I don’t think he noticed not knowing them very well, but me knowing them too well and in some ways having been waiting for it.

“I’m sorry.” I shrugged slightly helplessly and lifted the spoon for him to eat, sat at the breakfast bar again, muted TV noise filtering through from the living room, tongue swirling wickedly as his eyes flashed, tiny shake of the head to tell me _no we’re focusing on this now_. 

“Hmm. Ok, that one’s my favourite.”

“Really? I thought you’d go for the caramel one.”

“Hmm…it’s good, but I think this one. I’ll let you judge.” He grabbed the spoon off me and repeated the process in reverse, my eyes now probably communicating the same wickedness without even trying.

“Hmm…ok…” I nodded and had to concede. “It’s actually amazing.”

“I know.” He nicked a spoonful and whacked it into his own mouth before giving me a bit more. “You know you’re lucky you’re with the right brother…”

“Yeah I know!”

“Aww! Poor Marc. No, I mean because Marc plus sharing food, especially desserts or good food, would end in a big argument.”

“I kind of get that feeling.”

“I’m not putting that all on him, though. I take full credit for the fact that it’s me stopping us arguing right now.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really.” He grinned and proved his point by moving the dessert slightly away from me and laughing at the pathetic disappointment on my face. “See…?”

“Maybe.” I pouted and gave him my best puppy dog eyes. “Can you push it back now, please?”

“No. I think I’ll finish this one.” He took a spoonful and took great pleasure in overdoing the whole show, noise delicious and tastier than the food, fair enough, me biting my lip as his tongue positively writhed around the spoon. “Hmmm…”

“Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it.”

“Hehe. NO.”

“Alex…”

“Aww it’s pleading Olivia again…what do you want, baby?”

“I want ice cream.”

“Ok. Ok, open wide…” I did and clamped my teeth around the spoon to steal it back. “Hey!”

“Hmm?” I grabbed it all back and heaped a massive spoonful into my mouth before grabbing his t shirt and pulling him in to share it, messy and maybe a couple of drips, cold definitely, tasty in the extreme. “Ok.” I pulled away and unceremoniously lifted the hem of my t shirt to wipe my face, going for humour over grace and him then following suit and rubbing his face straight in my cleavage. “Hey!”

“Hmm?”

“Cold!”

“Pfffff.” He grinned again and leaned back to throw the spoon into the sink, missing horribly and looking at me like a wounded hamster. “Oops.”

“And you think I’d want to live with you…” I sighed and smiled at him before going over to pick it up and dump it in its intended location. “Hmm?”

“Don’t know if that’s funny yet…”

“It is. Because I do want to live with you. Just not 7 days a week.”

“6?”

“5 and a half?”

“Hmm…sounds ok.” He grinned and held out his hand, quite late by this point and reading my gaze flicking towards the living room door, and pulled us over towards it to spend a few more minutes with my parents, me going in first.

“Hey…what are you watching?”

They both looked up, seemingly surprised we were there, and then my mum spoke first. “Documentary about Florence.”

I looked at Alex, that kind of acceptable to me, and got a similar face in return, sitting on the sofa, wary of how close and everything, my parents sharing a glance from their separate arm chairs. I looked at Alex, both of us finding the distance between us weird, and then took a deep breath and snuggled down as I normally would have done.

“Do you really have to have your hands all over each other, Olivia?”

I could have felt the heat of Alex’s blush from a mile away and gave him a squeeze. “Yes, mum. This is how we’re comfy. Ok?”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm.” I nodded and leaned up to peck Alex on the cheek. “Sorry but this is just how we are.”

“Even if-“

“Even if anything.”

*

By the time we got back to Cervera, everything seemed better. I’d left with the promise to visit again before Cheste, had a talking to about his age and all of it that I’d tried my best to grit my teeth through, and then we’d been back in Catalunya, sun back, we were back, and back in a house that felt warm in every corner.

Alex and Marc went to Rufea on the Friday, I went to back to the police, and I was pretty much fine. Now there was something else to look forward to, nothing seemed that bad, at least in terms of Jordi. He wasn’t allowed to communicate with me, couldn’t see me or bother me, and he seemed to be taking it seriously. I started the ball rolling properly with the divorce, and by the time I got back there was just Marc sat on the sofa, playing on the Playstation, smiling at me as I walked in and pausing the game, which I thought was very impressively restrained given the swearing I’d overheard from the _street_.

“Hey.”

“Hello. How’s it going, champ?”

“Pretty good, pretty good. Didn’t fall off. Had a shower…”

“So many positives.”

“Exactly. Diet coke in the fridge if you want.”

I nodded and ruffled his hair on the way past, earning me a bit more swearing as the game kicked off again, and cracked the can open, staring out the kitchen window. _I just ruffled Marc’s hair. And it’s normal. Life is so weird._ I walked back in to find him on the phone, that explaining the silence or almost silence, and then frowned at the seemingly clandestine conversation, nervously looking at me as though he didn’t want me to overhear.

“Yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine. Yeah…yeah. Shut up, because… _you know_ …” Another look at me. “Yeah exactly. Alright, see you later.” He put the phone down, blushing slightly, and then carried on playing, something obviously going on.

“Ok come on…”

“What?”

“You know what.”

“No idea what you’re talking about.” Smirk. “I’m playing, be quiet.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry…of course…”

He smiled at that again, eyes still on the TV, and nodded. “Yup. My lips are sealed. And, my parents are away for the weekend.”

“Oh?”

“Yup. Last minute plans…”

_That seem like they might be your doing…_ “Ok…you’re really not going to explain…”

“No.” He picked up the other controller and threw it at me. “Get involved or go away.”

“Pff.” I smiled at that and then nodded, picking it up and waiting for him to restart the game, me deciding to annoy him and play as Real. “Where’s Alex?”

“Nowhere…”

“You’re a bad liar.”

“I know.” 

“Shut up. I want to beat you fairly.”

“Not going to happen.” I grinned and gave up on the conversation, starting to concentrate on the game, and beat him 3-1, leaving him stalking off to drink a large amount of milk out the bottle. “Told you…”

“Why can everyone beat me on the Playstation?”

“You’re a bit shit?”

“So you don’t even think you’re good? Oh, great.”

“Hmm, I’m ok. A sensible game with guns or cars, I’d really kick your ass.”

“Oh well-“ He stopped talking as his phone started ringing and picked it up. “You here yet?...oh right ok. Yeah, the, er…others should be back in 5 minutes. Ok…yeah turn left…yeah at the end of there turn right…found it? Yeah I think I can hear your car. Alright…bye.”

He looked at me, face still the picture of innocence, and then walked past me to the front door, pulling it open and inviting whoever it was back inside, a conversation of _yeah we’ll get it later_ stopping as I walked in, Marc turning to Dani and beaming, arms spread like he’d dug him up with a treasure map.

“Ta-dah!”

I grinned uncontrollably and tried to not actually scream, all of me wanting to just run over and hug him into oblivion and finding myself shaking on the spot to not do it. So, instead, he walked over to me and wrapped me in a hug, making me quiver like half set jelly. “Hi.”

“H-hi…”

“Are you _still_ starstruck?!” Marc smirked at me and then smiled at Dani, both of them enjoying me, the normally worst-mouth-on-any-of-us, being nervously mute. “Come on, he won’t bite. He’s only small.”

The older HRC rider glared at Marc for that and whacked him slightly before pointing at the can in my hand and raising his eyebrows. “I, er….thought this was going to be a party?”

“It is, it is." Marc grinned and motioned at me. "But everything’s hidden because your groupie is too nosy and would have guessed.”

“Hey!”

“Which bit?”

“I..”

“Yeah, exactly. Both true.” The older Marquez grinned at me and nudged me on the way past us back to the kitchen, chain reaction making me nudge Dani, apologising like I’d headbutted him at Misano in 2009.

“Livi, calm down. It’s fine.”

“Ok, you say it’s fine. But you don’t seem to understand…normally I’m prepared for you.”

“Prepared for me.” His eyebrows went up over a smirk. “Hmm?”

“Well…normally you’re at the track, in your natural habitat, and I have a few hours and days and weeks to prepare.”

“You’re being slightly serious this time, aren’t you?”

“Hmm…maybe slightly?”

“Ok. Well-“

“Ok, I can’t actually find where my mum put anything. By which I mean beer.” Marc walked back in and put his hands on his hips. “Maybe garage?”

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea.”

“Ok.” 

I accidentally shared a look with Dani, so much said, starting with _he always interrupts_ , going into _I don’t really mind_ and then ending on _it’s hilarious how he doesn’t know and then after that he still needs every idea confirming by someone else, preferably older than him and female._ I nodded back and took a sip of Diet Coke, nerves dissipating, giggling into the can and looking back at him. “So maybe I was being slightly serious…but it’s insane. Alex, it’s normal. Alex and Marc together, it’s normal. But…especially right now? I’m just sat in someone else’s house with the Repsol Honda riders looking for beer they hid from me. Two months ago that idea would have made me faint.”

He smiled at that, understanding the crazy and bit, and then poked me in the direction of where Marc had disappeared to, beer hunt on, until we paused in the door as a very chuffed _aha!_ echoed out, and then the younger rider appeared laden to the nose with beer, muscles flexing, making me look away slightly, one of those rare moments where Marc’s physical form was hard to ignore. I turned back to Dani, found him also looking away, frowned at that, and then went in to see if there was more stuff. There was a lot more stuff.

“Ok…when you said party…?”

“I’m the only international guest. But…well. A few people. Not loads. It’s just…some of Marc and Alex’s friends can drink beer like water. Tito can drink wine like water. And, er…someone else is pretty good at that too, we hear.”

“Seriously…”

“You think you know who Marc-“ He stopped what he was saying as Alex obviously got back and yelled hello, another familiar voice joining in and my grin making it obvious I more than knew who that was.

“YOU INVITED BEA.”

“Yup.”

“YOU BROUGHT BEA TO MARC’S HOUSE.”

“Yeah…?”

“I don’t know if it was a good idea….” I dragged him back in to find them, “…or the first strike of the rebel alliance.”

“Why? Is Bea…” Dani trailed off as he saw her for the first time, understanding perfectly and instantly, and then burst out laughing. “Ok so Bea is a Lorenzo fan.”

“Yes, Bea is a Lorenzo fan.”

I wrapped my friend in a hug and tried to not get ravelled up in the t shirt, hoodie, or flag, Lorenzo’s land, planted in the sofa already, grinning at her, wondering how she’d dared, and then raising an eyebrow as I saw Marc come in, notice, laugh, and kiss her on the cheek like he’d met her before.

“Ok. Guys…?”

“Hmm?” She widened her eyes at me, wondering why, and then the penny dropped. “Yeah, sorry. More spy activities…”

“B…what?”

“Excuse me.” Alex swooped in front of me and smiled. “Do I not get a hug or a kiss or anything?”

“Oh, sorry.” I grinned back and nodded, wrapping my arms around him and making, apparently, everyone else cough in slight awkwardness. “Sorry…”

Marc smirked at us and then reminded me what I hadn’t bothered to do, introducing Dani to Bea and watching him adorably kiss her on the cheek too, both blushing slightly, the rider definitely more, before I caught Marc’s face and raised my eyebrows at him. _Ok?_

He smiled it off, as always, and walked out calling _beers?_ over his shoulder, sitting himself back down, once everyone had answered and we were chatting, waiting for the others to arrive, straight in between Bea and Dani. _Oh you actually like her?_

I watched him for a few minutes, enjoying the chatter echoing through the house, and decided yes. He definitely did. And then Dani got up, pushed himself up off Marc’s leg, and raised his eyebrows at his teammate.

“Present time?”

“Present time!” He nodded and got up, beaming, and turned back to us. “Back in a minute…”

I looked at Alex, face pleased and definitely not going to explain, and sighed. “More secrets…”

“More secrets.” Bea grinned and winked at me, and then downed the rest of her wine. “Also, how weird is it that we’re just sat here with _Repsol Honda_?!”

I nodded and her and grinned, Alex rolling his eyes. “I know. See?” I turned back to him and pointed at her. “Normal people understand!”


	41. Teenage Mutant Ninja Marquez

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't resist, it won't leave my brain ;) ♥ we're pretending it happened a few weeks earlier ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoy?! Thank you ♥
> 
> Please forgive/enjoy the extra lil dose of non MotoGP related fangirling ;) ♥

“Ok…seriously…present?”

The two riders beamed down at me and nodded, answering in unison, too perfectly adorable. “Yes.”

Dani grinned even more and then pointed at me. “Close your eyes.”

“This is cruel. I would never normally close my eyes in dangerous company.”

“Who’s dangerous?”

“You, Marquez. Senior.”

“Maybe a bit.” There was a little explosion of _jajajajaja_ before Marc carried on. “But if Dani asks…”

“Yes, exactly. Fuck off.”

“Ooh…” Marc.

“We call that ‘warning voice’.” Alex.

“I call that ‘bitch voice.’” Bea.

“I call that a sensible attitude.” Dani.

“You’re always sensible.” Marc.

“Yeah. That’s why _you’re_ the fifth Ninja turtle.” Dani.

“Hey! That was so much fun to-“ Marc.

“It’s fine, at least they ask you to do the cringeworthy things now…” Dani.

“Cringeworthy? I was practically Zorro for-“ Marc

“Guys. Enough with the lovers’ tiff, ok?” Alex.

Spluttering, a round of audibly red faces.

“Guys, I’m essentially blindfolded here. Please…”

“Bet she’s said that before…” Marc.

“Don’t.” Alex.

_Jajajajajajajaja._

“Warning voice.” 

“True though, if you really wanted to know.” Bea.

“Fuck you, you’re meant to be on my side!”

“My morals are flexible.” Bea.

“You're a shit Spartan.”

“Oh Olivia you take that back…” Bea.

“Wait, does that imply that our morals are flexible?” Marc.

“On track? You? Yeah. Not a bad thing. You’re a Ninja Turtle, it’s ok.”

“Not me?” Dani.

“Never you, pumpkin.”

Pedrosa _jejejejeje_ followed by an Alex huff. “Hey…”

“Sorry baby.”

“Ok…” Alex.

“Oh, er…I was talking to Dani.”

“Right that’s it, I am putting myself in charge. Livi, open your eyes.” Alex, grinning.

I did, cheeks burning slightly, no idea what to expect, and got hit in the face by a mountain of merchandise thrown at me by every one of them. “Argh!” I looked down at everything and felt the happiness go from nervous cheek to emotionally unstable. “Oh my God…”

“Good Oh My God?”

“Amazing oh my God.” I picked up a few things and looked at them, Dani stuff, Marc stuff, Alex stuff. Heaps of it. “Guys…” I looked back up to them and bit my lip, voice cracking slightly. “Thank you so m-“

“Not done yet.” Marc grinned at me and pulled something out from behind his back and my mouth dropped open. “This is for you.” He passed me the knee slider and smiled again. “From COTA this year. The one race you support me, right?” He winked as I nodded.

“Yeah. You and COTA is like Senna and Monaco.” I read the message and swallowed, hard. _Welcome to the family… ;) Marc_. “Thank you. Again. So amazing.”

He nodded at me, slightly shy now, and stepped back to let Alex go next. _Dani last?_ “Livi…so…it was really difficult to figure out what to give you, since…hopefully soon all my stuff will be yours too, or at least…in our house.” He smiled and kissed the top of my head. “So it’s not actually something from me or racing. But…eventually…Marc had an amazing idea, and we made a few kind of starstruck phone calls…” He grinned at me and passed me a photoframe, and I choked. 

“Oh My God…”

“You remember singing it t-“

“Yeah.” I nodded down at it, tears definitely escaping my eyes now, and carefully put it down before wrapping him up in a hug like I’d fall over if he wasn’t there, voice muffled in his chest. “I remember.”

“I remember, too.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He pulled away slightly and ran his thumbs under my eyes. “Crying again..”

I laughed at that and nodded, sniffing slightly and sitting back down where I had been before, reading the message written at the bottom of it properly. _For Olivia…It sounds like I should be proud to have inspired someone like you…I hope he makes you as happy as the reason I wrote this song! Shak x_. “This is fucking ridiculous.”

“Wait, just wait…” Alex grinned at me and then Dani stepped forward. _Oh God. This is going to break me._

“Olivia…so…after you got hit I was going to give you this, so…here you go.” He passed me a little signed replica helmet and I was about to start crying again before he shook his head and grinned, looking back at Marc, who then opened a box on the floor and passed out what looked suspiciously like a helmet. _Oh my God._ “Alex said you really liked the helmet from Montmeló. So, here’s your version. Should be the right size and everything. And maybe a little bit different.” He passed me the bag, expression the most incredibly adorable thing I’d ever witnessed on God’s green Earth, and waited as I pulled out the helmet, choking slightly again, tears streaming. “I…” I stared at it for 5 or 6 seconds before Alex filled in for me.

“I think she means she loves it and thank you so much.”

“I think I got that.” Dani caught my eye again and smiled, realising I’d read the extra little message. _Every time you get back up, it gives us an extra something to get back up again, too._

“You remembered that from the beach?”

“I think I’ll always remember that from the beach.”

“Ok." I bit my lip again and then went for the customary sarcasm to diffuse it. "Alex…sorry but it’s over. I’m going to marry Dani.”

“It’s ok, I’ve been expecting it.” He smiled and took the helmet from me so I could go over and hug his hero, rocking us from side to side and really, really meaning it, then going back to Alex and feeling his arm curve around my waist, giving him a quick squeeze to defuse the joke. 

“Thank you, Dani. I think you know what it means, but…thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

*

By 11pm, the house was reasonably full, the drinks we around a third gone, and Marc and Bea were sat opposite each other at a table, some sort of drinking game or competition, _for the honour of Sparta_ , Alex and Dani were chatting to some people and laughing and joking, and I was having a smoke looking in, enjoying the moment far too much to not take a quick break for a snapshot. _It’s me. I think it is actually me with the issues, not him. I can imagine this in 2 years, in 5 years, in 10 years with less drinking and more toddlers, godfather Marc, godmother Bea, maybe Marc and Bea? But then obviously Dani would be the most important godfather. And Alex could be a World Champion. All of them could, some of them for the 4th, 5th, 6th time._ I tried to block out everything else, focusing on that and how it made every nerve in me tingle, and then threw the cigarette down as Bea appeared to smoke one.

“Oh? Lost?”

“No!” She grinned and pulled me into a hug, handing me another, inevitably, and we stood side by side as we smoked. “Just _cogiendo fuerzas_. I tagged Dani in. He’s definitely going to lose, now.”

“Ah. Ok…”

“What does that tone mean? Hmm?”

“I mean…you’re getting on pretty well…?”

She shrugged slightly, sideways smile and raised her eyebrows. “Maybe…”

“I think he likes you.”

“Hmm, I think maybe he does.”

“I sense a but…”

“Hmm. Trying to figure it out.”

“Did you notice…” I trailed off as Tito appeared, what I was going to say definitely not for his ears, and then changed it to something else. “Well what kind of…getting on well?”

“Fun.” She smiled at me and Tito, rolling her eyes as he pleaded for a cigarette, getting one and lighting it, naughty face on, and then sighed. “Not like you and Alex, anyway.”

I smiled at that, watched her go back in, Dani tagging her back in opposite Marc, and tried to read both of their faces as they faced off again, the Ninja Turtle mask now on Marc’s face taking a while for me to register, and then spent the next ten minutes arguing with Tito about the best childhood cartoons either of us could remember before Alex appeared and stole me back.

“Dance.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Yessss.” He hissed it at me and nibbled on my neck before dragging me through the people, licking my lips as I got another fantastic view of his tight, dark jeans and just-toght-enough alpine stars t shirt. I’d forgotten about the mask on Marc again and giggled, and then found myself pulled into the middle of the room and slow danced to heaven and back by an Alex that had apparently been looking for me for too long, no one in the house caring about where our hands were, about how we looked, about the things he was whispering in my ear, some people clapping and wolf whistling, Marc and Dani and Bea all turning to look at us welded together, sharing a flurry of happy looks with each other.

_Just a normal house party with drunk Dani Pedrosa, Teenage Mutant Ninja Marquez and the love of my life._


	42. Get Shorty

“Alex, it’s 3am. I’m old.”

“I’m not.” He grinned evilly again and shook his head. “There were 26 cans of Red Bull in there earlier. There must be one left?”

“You’re really not going to let me go to sleep, are you?”

“Nope.” He grinned again and woke me up in a serious way with a wet, sloppy, incredible kiss. “Not like you could with this music anyway. So pound one down and let’s goooooooo…”

_Pound one down. Oh Lord._ “Ok, baby. Ok.”

I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking a can (8 left) of Red Bull, saying an apology to Fernando Alonso, and then screamed slightly as someone appeared on the other side of the door and growled at me. “FREEZE!”

I bit my lip, now realising who it was, and closed the door before pivoting slowly to look at him, eyebrow raised, trying not to look at the mop he was brandishing, arms flexing as he grabbed it, t shirt replaced by a skin tight neon green vest. “Shouldn’t you be in the sewers?”

“Not tonight. Tonight, I am policing the party.” He nodded, dead serious, and then grinned. “And YOU are stealing Red Bull!”

“It’s not stealing, Raphael. I’m on a mission for Alex.”

“Hmm…” His eyes narrowed behind the mask before he grinned again. “Raphael? So I’m the _bad_ boy…”

“Marc Marquez you’d better not be flirting with your brother’s girlfriend…”

“OLIVIA HOW DARE YOU!” He grinned and winked and then bounded off back into the main room, leaving me giggling uncontrollably, spitting a bit of Red Bull down myself as I misjudged the amount of time I needed to calm before I tried to drink it, Dani appearing too soon after that for me to remain elegant. Luckily, he was nowhere near elegant.

“Oliviaaaa.”

“Hello there Pedrosita. How’s it going, man?”

“It’s going ok. I’m drunkkk.”

“I know, baby. I can tell.”

“Are you not drunk?”

“Not really. Not too drunk…”

“But WHY.” He whispered that and lurched forward slightly at the same time, covering his hand with his mouth to speak. “Why not when it’s freeeeee?!” 

I giggled at that, wanting to ruffle his hair and just drunk enough to five minutes later have a slight panic about whether I actually had or not, and then found myself manhandled back into the living room, music still blaring, and then _Dani_ started to _dance_. And he was good. Not sexy, although he wasn’t trying to be, but the skills were impressive. “Are we going to have a dance off now, Dani?”

“I dunnooo.” He grinned and wound his arm round my waist, smell intoxicatingly masculine and _Dani_ as he leaned in to talk at normal volume in my ear. “Are we?”

“Well I’m game if you are.”

“ _¡No hay huevos!_ Not drunk enough.”

“OH YES I AM.” I grinned and nodded, crushing the can in my hand and throwing it across the room at Marc, who turned around like a true ninja but had no idea where it had come from, and then rolled up my nonexistent sleeves. “You wanna dance?”

“Shorty wants to dance.”

I stared at him for a few seconds, so hilarious it would have been easier to just silently lose control of my bladder rather than actually laugh, and then grabbed him into a hug. “I love shorty! But he’s going down. Ready?”

“Or maybe he could just stay here…” He wrapped his arms round my waist and rested his head on my shoulder, snoring noises and everything, and I kissed his cheek before pushing him off, hand accidentally grazing boob on the way back, eyes flashing with momentary panic before I reached around to squeeze his ass and laughed.

“Even, no harm done. Now show me your moves…”

*

“FREEZE!”

“No.” Bea raised her middle finger, the non-cigarette holding one, and raised an eyebrow. “I’m above the law.”

“Oh, really?” Marc smiled at that and then planted his mop in the lawn, forcefully enough that it stayed upright. “Well I never said I was the law…”

“Never liked rules much, did you?”

His mouth dropped open slightly, gleeful at someone daring to be cheeky, slight genuine outrage. “Hey!”

“Hey..?”

“Hey.” He narrowed his eyes again, flashing black in the moonlight under the mask, and then leaned in to hoover a spiral of smoke from the air in front of her face. “And no, I don’t like _rules_.”

“Want one?” Her eyes flicked between his and his lips, his doing the same in reverse, and then took another drag and blew back in his mouth, properly, even closer. “Or want to share?”

*

Dani won the dance off, fairly and squarely. Pocket rocket was fired up and I was flagging, and I conceded defeat on round 6, Alex holding me up and throwing another Red Bull at me, Dani throwing his arms in the air and grinning, then immediately seeming to forget where he was or why and wandering off to the kitchen again.

“I think I should follow him.”

Alex looked down at my in complete horror. “What?!”

I leaned in closer and pulled his head down to my lips. “I said, _I think I should follow him._ He looks dangerous. To himself and for the _bomberos_.”

“Oh.” He laughed to himself, obviously slightly relieved, and then ran his hands down my back and squeezed my ass. “Ok. But no more ass squeezing, please?”

_Ah, you saw that._ “Jealous?”

“For the first time, yeah. A tiny, tiny bit…a Dani sized bit…”

“Sorry, baby. Just joking around.” I pulled his lips down to mine and pushed him against the wall to prove the point. “I’m all yours.”

“Ok. I know.” He pulled away, eyes black and chest heaving, smirking, and pointed at the kitchen. “Chase the Dani.”

_Man, you could have said ‘get Shorty.’_

*

“Share.”

“Ok.” Bea grinned at him, the cooler night air sobering Marc up enough for him to stop being quite as insane, and did it again, eyes locked together. “More?”

“M-more…”

And again. “More?”

“M-more…” He took another step forward so he didn’t have to lean in to be close, noses almost touching, and wound one hand round her waist, thumb hooking in the waistband of her jeans. “More?”

She nodded, did it again, and then leaned in to close the final centimeters between them, cigarette thrown away and forgotten, groaning as both of his hands wound around her and his tongue begged to be let in. _This is a bad idea._ Backed up against the wall, hands pinned above her head, _Marc Marquez’s_ tongue printing terrible images on her neck, knee wedged in between her legs and making her slightly howl at the moon. _But maybe bad ideas are sometimes amazing._ She grabbed his hair and pulled his head back, momentary confusion on his face immediately replaced by another groan as she smashed their lips together again, hand popping open the button on his jeans and making him grunt into her mouth. 

_Bad, bad idea._

*

“Dani…watcha doin’?”

He swung the fridge door shut and gave me the most innocent face in the world. “Nothing…”

“Hmm.” I narrowed my eyes and nodded at the fridge. “Hungry?”

“Yes…”

“Eyeing the pizza by any chance..?”

He looked at the floor and then looked back with puppy dog eyes. “No…”

“You can have the pizza if you want.”

“Really?!” His eyes lit up like I’d just given him 4 World Titles. “Really?!”

“Yup. I gave chase so you didn’t try and use the oven in this state.”

“Oh.” He nodded violently and sat on a stool as I got the pizza out and turned the oven on. “Wise Olivia.”

“Hmm, maybe this once.”

“Where’s Marc?”

“You mean Raphael?”

He giggled and nodded. “ _Bad_ Raphael.”

I stared at him for 2 or 3 seconds, paused in front of the oven, and then closed my mouth, which had dropped open. “Yeah…”

“Marc.”

“Yeah, Marc. I don’t know. Why?”

“Not seen him for a while…j-just…wondered.”

_Don’t._ “You like Marc?”

“Yeah! But he wins too much. Pffffffffff.” He grinned and nodded, suddenly ducking down to look into the oven and almost swan diving off the stool. 

I reached forward to grab him, letting out an ‘oof!’ as I misjudged it slightly and ended up with him headbutting me in the stomach, hands on his shoulders. “Careful…” I pushed him back upright and smiled, checking he was still with me. “It’s going to be 10-12 minutes. Or, a bit quicker if you want me to nuke it?”

“FUCKING NUKE IT.”

_Ok, then._ I whacked the temperature up and then grinned at him again, everything just too much. _Oh, Dani._ “Ok there, champ?”

“Hmm-mmm. When will it be ready?”

“Soon.”

“Now?”

“No.”

“Grrr.” He growled and folded his arms, again swaying on the stool, and I took a deep breath to try and not lose my mind. _Really, someone should be videoing this._ “What do you want to do while we wait?”

“Hmm…sleep?”

“No…”

“Ok then…hug?”

“Er, maybe later?”

“Ok.” 

“You could come outside with me while I smoke?”

“Or…” He made a _naughty naughty_ face and raised his eyebrows. “ _We_ could go outside and smoke.”

_Ok, stopping one kind of fire is enough. He wants to, fine._ “Ok.” I instinctively held out my hand for him to take and pulled him back out the kitchen, catching Alex’s eye and hoping he got my _there is a pizza in the oven that needs to come out in 8 minutes, in case I forget_ hand signals, not a chance in hell, and pushed open the back door.

And stopped.


	43. Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for much for everything, guys! ♥

_OH GOD._ I stared at them for a second, neither of them having seen me or Dani, and then turned back round trying to make sure he didn’t see it, unsure if my suspicions were something ridiculous or something real, backing him back into the house, eyes on his face, nothing on it to betray him feeling anything other than drunk and hungry and confused by the change in plans.

“I-I think maybe we should leave that a wh…” I trailed off as the door opened behind me and Marc and Bea kind of crashed through it, yanking each other through the living room, to the stairs, and up the stairs, Alex giving me a look, me returning it, and then staring back at Dani. _Definitely saw it this time, right?_ “Or maybe smoke now?” _And Marc Marquez, your trousers were open._

“Yeah.” He swallowed and nodded, smile not as wide as before, I was sure, or maybe completely dreaming. “Now.”

“Ok…” I shot Alex another look, amazed as he returned hand signals I interpreted to mean _your pizza will be ready in 5 minutes, darling_ , and pulled the Pedrosa back outside.

*

“Oh God…”

“Hmm?”

“I’m in Marc Marquez’s bedroom…”

“Yeah, you are.” He nipped her lip again and nodded, hands pulling her t shirt off by the hem, his going the same way, his jeans soon pulled off, then hers, wrestling each other over from the door to the bed, Marc pinning her down, hands above her head again, and grinning. “Ok…now…mask on or mask off?”

She grinned back, pulling him down to feel the bulge in his boxers graze her stomach, and winked. “Mask on.”

*

“You seem a bit more sober?”

Dani swayed on his feet to prove me wrong and looked back at me with wide eyes, blowing smoke at my face, probably by accident. “Hmm?”

“You ok?”

“Me? Fine.”

 _Hmm…_ “Really. Fine?”

“Yup. Fine.” He nodded and smiled, not doing bad at it, and then almost fell over in shock as Alex banged the door open a bit hard and appeared with the pizza, oven mitt on, carrying it on that, no plate. 

“Practical.” 

He nodded and grinned at me and then proffered it at Dani. “Grab on.” He did, and they kind of pulled it apart, most of it with Dani, which was probably going to be needed given the light shining in his eyes as he basked in the brilliance of having hot food, and then sat down on the grass in front of us, mostly dry and encouraging us to follow suit. “So…whose idea was pizza?”

I nodded at Dani and smiled. “His.”

“Good idea.”

“AMAZING IDEA.” He grinned through a mouth full of pizza and nodded. “Thank you, Olivia.”

 _I love how you full name me when you’re drunk._ “No problem. You turn the oven off?” _Other you, one I normally call ‘you’._

Alex nodded and gave me a little salute, smirking at my slightly-more-mature instincts and holding up the pizza for me to take a bite. “Yasss. Oven, off. Bomberos averted.”

“Maybe.” Dani shrugged and widened his eyes. “Unless Marc and Bea start a fire…”

 _See, I don’t know whether you actually mean that, because Bea has actually done that before, in a minor way, or because you think it was hot. Or you think one of them is hot. Or you think what they’re doing is hot. Or why you’re talking about it._ “Hmm, who saw that coming?!”

The two guys raised their hands and we all giggled slightly, lapsing back into silence for a few seconds as we all chewed. “I’m a bit surprised though.”

“Really?”

Alex nodded and shrugged slightly. “I mean…I thought that whole conversation he had with you was all ‘oh, one night stands aren’t so fun anymore…’”

“Hmm, true. He is drunk, though…” I frowned slightly at Dani’s face, not sure what it meant, but tried to not give that away too much. 

“Hmm. Still. I get the feeling Bea isn’t the cuddling kind…”

“You’d be right. I’m wayyy better.”

They both nodded, Alex giving Dani slight side eye that I found adorable, and then blushed. _GUYS._ “Thanks, but I was joking.”

“Well obviously I agree.” The younger Marquez beamed again and offered me more pizza. “Because I luuuurrvvveee you.”

 _Oh so you are still drunk._ “I know, baby. I lurrrvvee you too.”

“Promise?”

“Promise…” I raised my eyebrows and smiled. “Right?”

“Hmm’k.” He grinned at me and then looked at Dani again, his pizza pretty much demolished, and frowned slightly. “Ok, mate?”

“Hmm.”

“Maybe you should have some water…?”

“No.” He shook his head and then seemed to remember to smile again. “I think I _need_ more drink.”

Me and Alex looked at each other and then back at him.

 _And why?_ “Not sure about that…”

*

“Fuck….”

“Good?”

“Fuckkkkkkkk!” She arched her back and nodded, bite mark left on her shoulder again as the rhythm started to increase, fingernails digging into his back and growling slightly. “Fuck…”

Marc grunted the approval at that and mashed their lips together again. “Hmm.” _Agree agree agree agree._

*

“Did he really say that?”

I sort of woke up from my trance and shook my head slightly to try and be awake, me and Dani now lying on the back lawn staring at the stars, Alex back inside, kind of feeling the privacy vibe. “Eh?”

“Marc said he was bored of one night stands..?”

I watched the spiral of smoke whisper up from his mouth and nodded, hoping he could catch that out the corner of his eye. “Yeah, he did.”

“I’m surprised.”

 _You’re even half interested?_ “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean…look at him. He could have anyone he wanted…”

“Hmm, probably. Probably anyone in the house except me, Alex or Tito. I get your point.” I turned my head to smile at him, trying to keep zero undertone in what I was saying, and felt my heart melt slightly as he turned at the same time and nodded, smiling back.

“Exactly. Wouldn’t you take advantage of that?”

“Hmmm I think he kind of is, though…”

“But…you know. Thinking that in the first place…I’m just surprised.”

 _Sometimes, we’re all surprised._ “Hmm…”

“Hmm?”

“I think he’s a bit jealous of what me and Alex have. Think he’s a bit bored with everything being crazy and feels like he needs a bit of an…anchor, I guess. Make sense?”

“Hmm. Perfect sense.” 

*

“Wow.” Bea let out a long breath and closed her eyes as Marc collapsed next to her.

“Wow? Really…?”

 _Awww._ “Yeah, really.” She turned her head to smirk at him and nodded, leaning in for another kiss from _those_ lips and pulling the mask off his eyes. “ _Really._ ”

“Good.” He grinned and accepted the kiss hungrily, arm going round her again and pulling her in, murmuring into the kiss and feeling warmth spread through his chest. “Hmmm…”

She smiled into it, hand running down his side, a few minutes passing like that until pulling away. “Right, shall we get back to the party?”

_What?!_

* 

“So you and Alex…” Dani was now just about sat up and stable, still smoking, still outside, still talking to me. “…did you really meet in a lift?”

I laughed at that and nodded, shrugging at the lunacy. “Yeah, we really did meet in a lift. Insane, right?”

“Hmm.” He smiled and shrugged, much much more sober I thought, and nodded. “Maybe a bit insane. But you’ve got to meet somehow, I guess. Why not in a lift?”

“Good point I guess. Online dating probably wasn’t going to work, was it?”

“No!” He laughed and bumped shoulders with me. “Especially since you were…are? were…married.”

“True. Don’t remind me!!”

“Sorry. Bad topic?”

I thought about it for a few seconds and then shook my head, and honestly. “No, actually. Not after nights like tonight. It’s a good topic. Like I escaped from a Chinese prison.”

He giggled at that again, my sober-ometer going down again, and nodded. “Good. Because you’re so good together!”

“Thanks…? I hope so. I…I feel that. I know he does. He said ‘we fit’ and I think that’s basically it. But to be fair, he’s just…he’s amazing. He makes me so proud. Every day.”

“Awww.” Dani gave me a quick squeeze and nodded, throwing his cigarette away. “I think that’s definitely it. You seem to fit really well.”

I took a deep breath and felt a smile spread over my face as I looked back in through the window and caught sight of Alex and Tito in the kitchen, discussing something animated but positive, and obviously about bikes, and watched him for a couple of seconds. _Amazing._ “So…how about you? We never hear about Mrs Pedrosa…”

He laughed at that again, maybe slight nerves, and shook his head. “Well, there really isn’t one…”

“’Long term relationship’?”

“Hmm, there was. But not anymore. This is why I live in Geneva - _nobody knows._ ” He whispered that and grinned. “But days like today do kind of make me miss home.”

“Catalunya still home?”

I smiled at the statement as he replied, a quick reminder he was 28 and not the 12 he’d been acting for the past 4 hours. “Yeah, Spain will always be home.”

 _Ok. Definitely a bit more sober._ “Geneva is so gorgeous though. The lake and everything…and the peace…”

“Hmm, true. I def-“ He stopped as the back door opened and we both turned to look who it was, me frowning and feeling my heart sink slightly.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” She lit a cigarette and smiled, looking like she’d just finished an hour in the gym, which I imagined not that I ever imagined is what it felt like, and sat next to me on the grass. “How sober are you?”

“I’m quite sober now.”

“I’m more sober, but still drunk enough to be a problem.”

We both laughed at that and looked at him. “You’re never a problem, Dani. Always a joy.”

“Hmm?”

“Really. I’d carry you to Andorra if you needed it, don’t worry.”

He beamed at that and took another cigarette from Bea as she leant across me to offer. “Why thank you.”

I nodded and we carried on chatting for a while, no animosity from Dani towards Bea as far as I could tell, until eventually _he_ broached it. “So where’s Marc?”

She smiled to herself and pointed upwards. “Upstairs still, I think. I wanted to get back to the party. Although not many people left now…”

I looked at Dani and found him already looking at me, a look that normally I would have interpreted to mean _’she doesn’t like to cuddle’, he said he was bored with one night stands, right?_ but the situation making me completely unsure as to whether I was making it up. “Oh, right. You not want to stay?”

“Hmm, nah? It was fun. But don’t want to snuggle or anything.”

Another look.

“Oh, right.” I blew some smoke away from us and sighed. “So…you say not many people left now?”

“Nah, just the people you’d expect. A couple of Marc’s friends, I think they’re on their way out. Then Tito, that girl who keeps following him around, Alex, and you guys.”

“And Marc.”

“And Marc.” She nodded and smiled at us before getting to her feet, fairly steady, and ruffling Dani’s hair on her way back in. “See you later, lovebirds.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled, Dani doing the same, happy we were both completely unblushing about that, and then settled back into silence, about to start talking again as I noticed Marc reappear, him and Bea doing a slightly awkward dance around each other on the way past, and was heading for us. “You know, I think I’m just going to go and find Alex. Back in a minute, ok?”

Dani looked up and nodded, rubbing his arms slightly against the cold, and I made it through the door just before Marc made it out, plan completely saved.

*

“Hey, baby.” I wrapped my arms around him from behind and squeezed. “Who’s still here?”

His hands laced through mine and squeezed before pulling me around to the side and draping a lanky arm around me. “Just the people who are staying, I think. What time is it?”

“4 o’clock…almost.”

“Uff. And you’re still alive!” 

I glared at that and then smiled, nodding, and accepted a kiss. “So who’s sleeping where?”

“Not sure. I think Dani in my parents’ room, Marc on the sofa, me and you in my room and Tito in Marc’s room. Assuming the bed is guest-safe…” He smirked and laughed at my crinkled nose. “Yup. But we were going to watch a movie first. Ok?”

“Ok. At least we can snuggle.”

He buried a kiss in my hair and nodded before putting a few more pots in the sink. “We can. Best part of the day.”

“Awww.”

“What? I enjoyed the party. But this is still the best bit.”

“Same. Although Dani dancing is one of my Top 5 life moments.” I grinned at his agreeing giggle and followed him back out into the living room. “So what are we watching?” 

“Whatever. I was thinking Avengers?”

“Ooh ok. I’m awake again! And then Shawarma after?”

*

“Oh. Sorry, didn’t know anyone was out here.”

“Oh, am I anyone?” Dani smiled at him and nodded at the grass. “Or I can go if you want..?”

Marc shook his head nervously and took the offered space, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, laughing slightly as Dani had a packet open and offered to him already. “Pedrosa! Smoking?”

“Only at Teenage Mutant Ninja parties.”

“Ah, then that’s ok.” His fingers went to his face to check for the mask and then shoulder slumped slightly at the memory of when he’d taken it off. Or rather, when it had been taken off. “Same.”

“I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”

 _What are we talking about now?_ “Sounds like a deal.”

“Cool. Nobody’s getting fired, then.”

“Hopefully not! How drunk are you?”

“Now? Ok-ish. Before? I hope nobody videoed.”

Marc laughed at that, bumping shoulders with him, and nodded. “Hmm, same. _Same._ ” He shot his teammate a knowing look and they both nodded. “Although I think I did a good job policing the party? The only things broken are the things I broke.”

“If that’s your definition of success, then that explains a lot.”

Marc laughed again, a proper Marc laugh, hollow feeling from a bit back fading, and nodded, blowing smoke away from them and then looking up at the sky. “Thanks for coming, Dani. You came a long way for a party.”

“Hmm. Well, couldn’t refuse an invite like that, could I?” 

“Hmm?”

“If I remember correctly, you didn’t actually ask.”

Marc felt himself go slightly red as he remembered the phone call and thanked the low lighting of the moon for the privacy. “Ah. Maybe not…”

“But I’m glad, because I might have said no.”

“Hmm?”

“Yeah…you know, I keep forgetting its ok to do things like this. Being teammates with Casey and Nicky was great, but you didn’t or couldn’t just jet off to Kentucky for a party for their brother’s girlfriend.”

“Ah, yeah. Bit too far?”

“Bit too far. Bit too awkward. But now it’s ok.” The older man smiled at him and then stubbed his cigarette out. “It’s nice to feel like I have a few friends back in Spain again. New ones who haven’t faded away or don’t want anything from me.”

Marc nodded at that, taking it in, blowing the last of the smoke away from them. “I’m glad you think we’re friends.”

“Ah this is awkward…I meant Olivia…”

The younger rider laughed slightly at that and then narrowed his eyes back at him. “Don’t ruin it.”

“I’m not.”

“I know.” He broke the eye contact again and nodded, _perfectly judged,_ both lapsing into comfortable silence again for a couple of minutes before Marc’s eyes fixed on what was in front of him. “Oh, wow. The mop! I mean…sword. The sword is still upright.”

“Hmm?”

The younger rider pointed at the mop and grinned. “I must be stronger than I look.”

“Ah. You did that?”

“Yup.” He grinned and flexed an arm, skin smooth under the moon, neon vest now replaced with an alpine stars t shirt. “Teenage Mutant Ninja Marquez.”

“Teenage?”

“Well, hmm. Maybe not anymore.” He grinned and stubbed his own cigarette out before bracing himself as Dani got to his feet, pushing on his shoulder. “Where are you going?”

“I think they’re watching a movie.” He smiled and offered his hand to pull Marc up, accepted, warmth against his palm making the rest of him shiver against the weather. “Ok?”

“Sounds good.”

The older rider let him go first and then realised he was still a bit drunker than he’d thought, reaching forward to pinch his teammate’s bicep. “Hmm, ok. Fairly impressive.”

Marc stopped, surprised but not negatively, and then flexed again. “Think they’ll let me on the team?”

“I think any team would like you on board.” _For team, read ‘I’m sorry she left you.’_

“That’s a relief. I’ve been training hard.”

“Eating pizza?”

“Er, yes?”

Dani smiled at that and let him through the door first, accidentally following him into the kitchen, Marquez house still not mapped out very well in his brain. “Ah, are you looking for pizza, now?”

“Yeah.” Marc opened the fridge and then pouted. “Oh…”

“Yeah…sorry…”

“You?!”

“Yup…”

“Pfff.”

“If it makes it any better, Olivia said I could.”

He narrowed his eyes at him and then shrugged, smiling again, happy enough with that, before grabbing some bread and Nutella instead. “Ok. Just this once.”

*

“Right guys, I’m heading off.”

I looked up, guiltily almost having forgotten she was still there, and nodded. “Ok. Sure you don’t want to stay?”

“Yes, thanks.” She grinned at me and helped unravel me from Alex for a hug. “Er, especially now.”

“Ok, I understand. Did you have fun?”

She grinned wickedly and nodded. “I really, _really_ did.”

“Good.” I smirked at the tone and then followed her to the door, taxi already waiting, and then we said our goodbyes. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“You will. Tuesday, yeah?”

I nodded and smiled as she gave me a thumbs up and got in the car, waving as it left, and then went back in and re-snuggled with my Marquez. “Knew she wouldn’t stay. Especially not after that…”

“Hmm?”

“Like I said, she doesn’t do snuggling unless she’s…head over heels, I guess.”

“Oh. I see what you mean.” He moved around a bit to get me into a comfier position curled around him, my brain smiling at that as he knew what it was without asking. “Yeah I’m surprised. Usually it’s Marc running…”

“Well, that you know of…”

“That I know of?”

“Yeah, I mean…maybe he was just more relaxed this time. Because he knows she won’t fuck him over.”

“I’m glad you said ‘over’…”

We both giggled at that and then jumped as Tito let out an almighty snore from the other sofa, waking himself up.

“Hey there buddy, ok?”

He nodded, confusion slowly disappearing as he looked around, and then rubbed his eyes. “Urgh.”

“You don’t have to stay up if you don’t want.”

“Hmm…”

“There’s no honour in it. Drink a pint of water and then go to bed.” I smiled and nodded, knowing the desperation to say yes to that in his eyes all too well, and then grinned as he gave in and got to his feet.

“Ok, yeah. Fuck it. Am I still sleeping in Marc’s room?”

“Think so.” Alex nodded and then grinned slightly. “Maybe, er…check the duvet before you go to sleep…”

“Ewww.”

“But, seriously…”

“Yeah, I know. _I know._ ” The older rider grinned at that and then stretched, walking off towards the kitchen to get the aforementioned pint of water, Marc walking back in past him and slapping him on the ass.

“Where’s he going?” Crumbs hit the floor.

“Bed.” _I love how I’m apparently the one who has information like that._ “You?”

“Did somebody mention Avengers?”

“Yup. We were waiting for you, genius billionaire _playboy_ philanthropist.”

He grinned at that, slight blush, alcohol wearing off but chest puffed out slightly, and nodded. “Ok, then. I think I’ll make it. Although once Scarlett Johansson turns up, I’ll probably not sleep until Alcañiz.”

Everyone laughed at that, _everyone_ agreeing, as Tito walked back through, sipping water and lazily waving. “Night, guys. See you tomorrow.”

“Night.”

We watched him go and then Alex prodded me and stretched us out. “Well at least we have more sofa space.”

“True. Where’s the DVD?”

Marc shook his head and necked the last bit of sandwich, shuffling forwards over the floor to the computer still plugged into the TV, now quiet, previously the DJ. “Hjkhaidwmeyyeee.”

“Was that ‘HDMI’?”

He gave me the finger and nodded, ass in the air as he went through iTunes to find it, laptop on the floor, Alex remembering at the same time as me how loud the music had been and stretching for the remote, turning the TV volume down from about 50 million to a sensible volume for a Hollywood movie that started with an explosion. Dani walked back in, water and popcorn in hand, almost mirror image of Tito, putting a bowl in front of our sofa and then sitting on the other side of the sofa Marc had vacated. “Avengers?”

“Yup.”

“And then Shawarma after?”

Me and Alex looked at each other and then back at him, laughing, wagging a finger. “Too late, beat you to it.”

“Pff. Typical.” He grinned and then pointed at Marc. “HDMI or…?” _Why is he on the floor?_

“HDMI! Patience, people!” Marc grinned to himself as he readjusted the screen and then sighed as it didn’t start to play. “I think someone pulled the cable out.”

“Right, hang on.” Dani walked over to the TV and peered behind it, nodding and pushing it back in. “HDMI 1?”

“Yup.”

“Is that-“

“Woo! Yeah, thanks.” 

The older rider nodded and then nudged Marc’s ass with his foot on the way back to the sofa, making me realize that everyone was now in socks, and making Marc lurch forward and his face almost connect with the screen. “Hey!”

“Hmm?” The picture of innocence.

“Is that my Aragón 2013 revenge?”

Dani grinned at that and nodded as the movie finally started to play and Marc moved the laptop out the way so it wasn’t distracting, taking his seat next to Dani again, the distance between them small but big enough, me and Alex stealing all the space on the bigger sofa. _And I wonder what would have happened if Bea and Tito needed seats._ I looked at them for a couple of seconds, both focused on the screen, both snuggled in almost identical Honda hoodies, and watched them absentmindedly take it in turns to grab a bit of popcorn from the bowl between them.

I focused back on the screen for a few minutes, lost in the movie, until I caught the muted flurry of _oh, sorry, you first.._ and awkward eye contact as their hands obviously went into the bowl at the same time.

 _They seem to run on some kind of electricity._ I giggled at that quote, making sure my eyes were back on the screen and sensing them both nervously turn to check I wasn’t laughing at them, and then we lapsed back into silence for a while, Alex going to sleep, which I realised as his arm went slack around me, and eventually I stretched and sat up just before Loki opened the portal.

“I think I’m going to take him to bed.”

They both nodded at me, smiling in that way people do when someone’s being nice to someone they love too, and watched me gently wake him up and coax him upstairs.

“Come on, Captain Steve Márquez. Bed time.”

“Hmm?”

“Come on, baby. Let’s go to bed.”

“Hmm. Ok.” He nodded at me, all bleary eyed, and as we waved our goodnights and set off up the stairs, me proving the personal training was paying off as I managed to hold him up.

_Night, guys._


	44. La Fée Verte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is the old skool french name for absinthe 'the green fairy'...
> 
> Enjoy...?
> 
> Please let me know about this... ;) ♥

“Alex…” I rubbed my nose against his to see if he was still awake, eyes fluttering open and making me unable to resist a kiss. _God. Good God. Every time. It’s almost embarrassing._

“Hmm?”

“Do you think Marc’s ok? After Bea left?”

“Hmm…don’t know.” Eyes closed again, on the very very edge of awake. “Probably. See tomorrow I guess…”

“Hmm. Dani’s there now anyway isn’t he…”

“Hmm.”

_You’re really not taking this in._ “I, er…I’m going to run off with Dani tomorrow and we’re going to start a porn shop.”

“Hmm.”

“Then probably a few movies. Start small, just me and him, you know. Tasteful but hardcore.”

“Hmm.”

“Then maybe next, him and Marc. There’s a big market for hardcore MotoGP porn…”

“Hmm.”

“Ok.” I grinned and bit my lip to stop a giggle. “Night night, baby. Love you.”

“Hmm.” 

That one was accompanied by a slight nod and squeeze before he fell off the edge into sleep.

_I really hope you don’t remember that in the morning._

*

“Bowl’s empty.”

“We shouldn’t eat more.”

Marc nodded his agreement and then pointed at the bowl left in front of the other sofa. “But…but look…”

“Too far away.”

“I might be able to reach.” The younger rider leaned over the arm of their sofa, balanced on the crotch, arms grabbing fresh air, and almost fell off. “Hold me.”

“That’s quite forward…”

Marc giggled and had to stop and grab the sofa. “Don’t! I’ll fall. You know what I mean.”

“Hmm.” Dani grinned to himself, shaking his head at the sight, and grabbed his legs. “Right…”

“Further up. Please don’t make that joke.”

“Don’t know what you mean.” The older rider grinned again and hooked two fingers through the back belt loop on Marc’s jeans. “Right, got you. Bear in mind, if you fall off and I yank you, these are going to come down.”

“Bear or _bare_ …?”

Dani suddenly pulled and Marc lurched, both giggling, the younger turning his head back to glare. “Stop it. I’m so close.”

_Don’t. Don’t. Don’t make that joke._ “Hmm. Come on, then.”

He stretched out again, effort enough to have made a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and his fingertips brushed the edge of the bowl a few times before he finally hooked it and picked it up. “WOOOOOOO!!”

“Shhh!”

He plonked himself back down and made a little ‘eek’ face, tipping the contents into ‘their’ bowl and settling back in, other bowl rolling off onto the floor, wriggling to readjust his jeans after the almost Pedrosa-wedgie, and then looked sideways at his teammate and grinned. “Still drunk me. Still drunk you?”

“Still drunk.”

“Popcorn?” Marc grabbed a handful and then smashed it straight on Dani’s face, hand coming back slightly damp where he’d smeared it over the spluttering, tingly from the feeling of slight stubble, none of the nerves from before there now, _just Dani. No problem_. 

“Fucking hell.”

A _jajajajajajajajaja_ loud enough to make a sleeping Tito turn over and frown, upstairs in Marc’s room, echoed through the living room. “I said still drunk.”

“I think you meant ‘still a bastard.’”

“Pfff.” Marc pouted and then grinned again. “I have the perfect thing to help.” His eyes flashed with pure evil as he got up and almost jogged off through to the back door, Dani left wondering why he’d not wanted to move from the sofa enough to dangle over the precipice like he was climbing K2 just to get more popcorn and yet was now athletically pattering around the downstairs area, and then stretched out more on the sofa to wait, obviously more tired than he thought since he almost drifted off, feeling his nose twitch as something touched it, waking up again with a yelp to find a damp mop being wiped over his face.

“Fuck off!”

“Don’t panic! I lied before, it’s not really a sword!”

The older rider laughed, that laugh on the edge between laughter because something is funny and tears of pure desperation, and whacked it away, Marc twirling around with it and then dropping it with a clatter on the other side of the room. “You got me. Disarmed.” He held up his hands and grinned before stretching and yawning. “Sorry. I’m tired but…urgh. I don’t know.” Little shrug. “You know?”

“You ok?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and then shrugged slightly. “Yeah…?”

“Ok, just asking.” Dani yawned again, in response to Marc doing it again, and then flopped back where he had been before. “Uurgghhhh I’m too old for this.”

“Pffff. I think we all remember Brno.” Marc raised his eyebrows and then nodded, grinning. “Yeah, so don’t try and pretend you’re all mature or anything, Pedrosa. It was my 18 year old brother who turned that oven off.”

“Pffffffff. Well…” He motioned with his hands, nothing really he could say since it was completely correct, and then shrugged and closed his eyes for a few seconds, giving up and grinning. “True.”

“Ha. Marquez wins again.”

Dani gave him the finger before his eyes shot open again, swearing at his burning finger. “Fuck!”

“I only flicked it.” Puppy dog eyes. “Although we already decided that my power is very, very great.”

“We decided that did we?”

“Well, you know. I said it, you agreed…like usual…”

“I think you’re definitely still drunker than me.”

“I agree.” Wide, manic eyes. “Definitely.” He raised his arms like he was about to dive and Dani cowered out the way, realizing he was actually going to do it just in time and Marc almost pulling it off, landing half on the sofa in a heap with an ‘oof’ and a giggle.

“Fucking hell!” Dani giggled and looked down at said heap. “If you snap yourself in half, I’m not explaining to Nakamoto.”

“Yeah I think I misjudged that slightly.” The younger rider grinned and pulled his face out the cushions. “Sometimes you’ve just got to make the gap…”

“Well, to be fair, you didn’t hit me this time.”

“Hmm. I’m sorry I did.” Suddenly a bit more serious, eyes dark and round and staring. “You know that, right? I know I said it before b-“

“Yeah, I know. It’s ok. Water under the bridge.” _Wow._ “Ok?”

“Hmm. Ok.” He smiled again, mood back up, and wriggled onto the sofa fully, clothes yanked around and giving Dani a flash of midriff that seemed to burn white in the low light. “God. It’s hot. Is it me? Or is it hot?”

“Ok, did you just drink?”

“What?!”

“I mean, you didn’t take anything seriously stupid?”

“What?!! No!”

“Sorry!” He held his hands up this time and eeked an apology. “You just seem…crazy.”

“Crazzzzy.”

“Yup.”

“Ok well I admit that when I fetched the sword, I did have a swig of something ssssspecial.”

“Something..?”

“Hmm…absinthe…”

“Oh God.” Dani grinned and rubbed his hands over his face, wincing. “I thought the green fairy was done a while back.”

“Hey! If you mean the vest, then you should know that I love that neon vest.”

“Noted.”

“Also, I wasn’t a fairy. I was a turtle.”

“Important distinction?”

“YEAH.” 

They both laughed again and Marc ripped his hoodie over his head, throwing it over the room and then snuggling down in the sofa again, much lower, t shirt hiked up his back, chin almost pressed to his chest. Much closer to the equally reclined Dani, who hadn’t moved. “Ok, fuck it.” He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, Dani instinctively wanting to yell at him, despite it not being his house, and then shrugged and accepted a drag. 

“Your mother will kill you.”

“Yup.” He grinned and shrugged, taking the cigarette back and then fumbling around for something to use as an ashtray, eventually hooking the old popcorn bowl from the floor with his foot and wagging it at Dani to grab, which he did, and plonked on Marc’s lap. Hard. “Ufff! Fuck!”

“Sorry…”

“That face doesn’t look very sorry.”

“Sorry…” He tried better puppy dog eyes and got a nod of approval. “Still sore, are we?”

Marc blushed proper, deep burgundy and concentrated on flicking the ash into the bowl like it was keyhole surgery. “Don’t.” 

“Embarassed?”

“Yes.”

_Oh._ “Oh? Why?”

_He doesn’t know you wanted to snuggle, Jesus. Just…blah._ “I crashed through my own house with someone’s hand pretty much down my pants, in plain view of most people I love…?”

“Ah. Don’t remember that very well. I was verrrry drunk.”

“Hmm.” Still staring resolutely down, fingers tingling as Dani’s hand appeared in his limited view and stole the cigarette again, took a drag, and returned it. Feeling his gaze fixed on the side of his face like it was a laser. “Hope everyone was.”

“She’s nice, though. Bea…”

“Hmm. Is she?”

“She seemed nice to me.”

“Hmm.”

“Don’t think so?”

Marc stayed quiet for a few seconds before shrugging. “Yeah, I think so. Really nice. Just…pff.”

“What?”

_Stop pushing._ “Ok, fine. I didn’t like the way she just left.”

“Sorry if I’m b-“

“No, it’s ok. It’s just…kind of embarrassing.”

“It’s not.”

Marc kept up the intense staring and shrugged. “Hmm. But yeah…I don’t know. Just…makes me feel weird. Like it’s just like…a service or something. ‘Bang bang oh thank you see you later’…”

Dani laughed slightly at that, making Marc kind of realize what he’d said and join in, and then nodded. “I know what you mean. Not really what you want, now?”

“Hmm…no.” Another few seconds of silence, stubbing the cigarette out in the bowl and checking if it had fucked it up, eyes still resolutely downwards. “Not really. I’d rather have something like Olivia. You know?”

“You know, I kind of do.” He nodded and smiled as Marc actually looked up at him, surprised. “Someone where you can spend all day being idiots but after that…you curl up together and go to sleep. Yeah?”

“Hmm.” _Exactly. Fucking exactly._ “Pretty much.”

_Like this?_ “Hmm. I think the key is to be friends.”

“Friends?”

“Yeah. Like Alex and Livi…if humans didn’t have sex with each other, ever, they’d still love spending time together. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah. I guess. But then…I don’t know. I don’t understand.”

“What?”

“I don’t understand why she’d just want to leave…I mean, it wasn’t like…soft porn and candles or everything, but it wasn’t just…I don’t know. It wasn’t like we just fucked in the back garden and then grinned and walked off.”

“Maybe she just wanted some fun…” _I don’t understand that either, to be honest._

“Hmm. I guess. I mean…I’m not that bothered…I mean, honestly, ok? I’m not trying to be all proud or anything, I just…it’s not about her. I don’t really want her, either. Not…like, for ages. I mean, you’ve seen her, right? She is soooo fucking hot. Like, Olivia is so totally Alex. Warm and just…you know what I mean. But then Bea….FUUUUCK. You know?”

“Yeah, _I know._ ”

They smirked at each other slightly before Marc carried on. “Yeah, she’s all…I don’t know…like Angelina Jolie or something. Just something about her…like she could wrestle a tiger and actually have a chance of winning.”

Dani laughed at that again, reference and whole idea completely fucking weird and fuelled most definitely by absinthe, and then nodded. “I kind of get what you mean. You like that?”

“What, like the dangerous thing? Not really. I mean…if I hadn’t been drunk and wearing a fucking Ninja mask I wouldn’t have said more than 4 words to her face to face because I’d have been wayyyyyy too intimidated.”

“You?!”

“Yes! You know me better than that. But I was, so I did, and Tito’s face will probably be slightly pink from smeared red lipstick when he wakes up on my pillows. But…I don’t know. I think…note to self…don’t fuck intimidating women when drunk and dressed as a ninja turtle.”

“That’s a good rule.”

“It is. I feel like we should toast it.” He leaned over the arm again slightly and grabbed an errant bottle of Diet Coke, uncapping it and taking a swig before offering it to Dani, him repeating the gesture.

“I hope you don’t have any diseases. You or the tiger lady.”

“Hmm?”

“Bottle sharing with youths. Ewww.”

“Youths?!”

“Pretty much. What time is it?”

“Too fucking early or late.”

“Hmm.”

They lapsed into silence for a while, comfortable, staring and thinking, before Marc grabbed the blanket he was meant to be using to sleep with and snuggled under it a bit, almost for security.

“Sorry I…” Suddenly serious again. “Sorry I’m talking shit ab-“

“Don’t be sorry. Why?”

“Because it’s…I don’t know. Kind of pathetic-“

“It’s really not. Seriously. It’s the opposite.”

“Really?” Marc looked up at him again and held his gaze, everything about it saying he would definitely believe the answer.

“Yeah, really. You could be fucking your way around the entire country right now but you’re sat on a sofa with your teammate wanting to snuggle.”

Marc raised his eyebrows and grinned at that, Dani blushing and narrowing his eyes.

“You know what I mean.”

“Hmm…”

“Fuck off.”

“No. I’m sleeping here.” The younger rider closed his eyes and snuggled slightly, pulling the blanket further around himself and making his teammate’s breath catch slightly. “So you’re the one who needs to fuck off.”

“I would but I think I’d die before I reached the top of the stairs.”

“So small and weak…” Marc smirked, throwing some of the blanket further over to cover some of Dani, eyes still closed, and sighed. “Never mind. Just stay here. Tito’ll be screaming at us to drink water and eat egg whites and stuff in a few hours anyway.” He yawned and made himself more comfortable, a couple of inches closer, and then sighed happily.

Dani laughed at that and nodded, doing the same, and then turning to him again. “You ok, though?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you ok?”

Marc opened his eyes again, tiny flash of surprise as he realised how close they were, and then shrugged slightly sadly. “Hmm. I’ll be alright.”

“Sure?”

“Hmm. I just…” He shrugged and closed his eyes again, voice soft and small. “…just kind of wanted a hug to be honest. Sorry, being pathetic again.”

Dani took a deep breath, alcoholic haze pushing him into it, part of him screaming him out of it, and gently moved his arm round his shoulders, pulling him in a bit closer and shaking his head. “I know the feeling. Not pathetic.”

Marc tensed as he felt it, alcohol stealing that feeling away almost instantly and replacing it with warmth, and then gradually relaxed against him, mind empty of anything, breath slowing and slowing as he relaxed. “Hmm. Night.”

The older rider did the same, both of them making tiny adjustments in how they were sat so they were more comfortably together, and drifted off soon after with his head leaning on Marc’s. 

“ _Night_.”


	45. Las Ruinas Circulares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dunno why but the title is from _Ficciones_ by Borges and kind of seemed to fit in a weird way? [story completely unrelated though ;)]
> 
> Thanks so much so far, hope you like (please let me know!) and more ALEX soooon!! PROMISE. ;) ♥

Dani woke up first, and froze. He vaguely remembered being on the sofa and watching the movie, he vaguely remembered holding onto his teammate as he reached for popcorn, and he remembered the face meet mop incident. After that, he had no idea how they’d ended up how they were now.

_I was supposed to sleep upstairs. Why didn’t I sleep upstairs?_

He moved slightly, terrified of waking him up or giving away that he was awake, nothing in his brain except the fact that he really didn’t want to move. _This could be good, for the day. If someone could bring us a sandwich, this could be good for the day._ He knew it couldn’t – he had no idea if Marc saw anything at all in this except a drunken accident, but he was pretty sure that as soon as anyone else appeared, he’d wake up and jump six feet in the air and not look him in the eye for a week.

Dani tried to keep his breathing the same as it had been, thinking the younger man would probably deal with this whole thing better if he thought he’d woken up first and moved, since the position meant Dani couldn’t do that without waking him up.

_Maybe I vaguely remember him saying he wanted a hug. Maybe I gave him a hug and he drifted off…_

He tried to relax again and shut out any reasoning or anything else, eyes shaded from the sun by Marc in front of him, and closed his eyes to wait.

_But we didn’t spoon. I put my arm round his shoulder but we didn’t curl up. His hand wasn’t on mine. It wasn’t this comfortable._

*

I woke up before Alex, another rarity. I could hear Tito snoring from our room and smiled at that, definitely waking me up more, and then gently pulled away and had a shower, not much hangover, wondering what the rest of them would be feeling like. I put on the comfiest outfit in the world – a pair of Alex’s boxers and Alex’s hoodie – and then crept downstairs, wondering why I was creeping, wondering why I was holding my breath slightly, realizing as I walked through the door. _Oh my God._ I looked at them for a few seconds, two people that, if they’d been any other or in any other situation, I would have said were the cutest couple, and sniffed the air slightly, smoke still there, spotting the ashtray on the floor and knowing instinctively that the Marquez was to blame. 

_Oh my God._

I smiled at them for a few more seconds, wondering how they’d ended up so spooned – asleep and fallen on each other slightly yes, but this was a definite arms around each other situation, and then crept past into the kitchen, grabbed a Red Bull and then went outside, briefly wondering about the absence of the mop, and sat on a chair in the sun, drinking the healthiest breakfast ever.

_This is either going to ruin something, or make something._

*

Marc frowned as he woke up, sun blinding as it streamed through the window at them, mumbling complaints about that under his breath and then turning over slightly, brain not turned on, feeling the other person there, remembering Bea, connecting the dots wrongly, then snuggling back down against a chest, vaguely aware of an arm moving around him again, smiling into it, feeling perfectly cocooned. _Ok, I’m not moving ‘til you do._ He stayed like that for another dozy 10 or 15 minutes before moving again, something clicking in his brain as he realised the chest was flat, and then blinked open his eyes.

_Holy fuck._

He felt his breath catch as he hit fully awake, staring at him, thanking God he was still asleep, wondering how much movement would be too much and wake him up, wondering how to escape as best possible, wondering how this had happened.

_But I’m so comfy._

He pushed that out of his mind again, closing his eyes and realizing his palm was flat against Dani’s chest, listening to his heart going faster than he expected, skin feeling cool under the thin fabric of his t shirt, and then opened them again.

_You see, this is all I wanted. Just for a bit._

He bit down the panic again and managed a slight smile at that, mesmerized by the way Dani looked when he was so calm and off guard, and then gently, gently started to move off the sofa, relieved that no one seemed to have come down earlier and seen it.

He managed it, he thought, and picked his hoodie off the floor, pulling it on and walking into the kitchen, same ritual, can of Red Bull and then heading for the garden, panic rising, and then stopping.

*

“Hey.” He seemed to jump a mile in the air and I smiled at him as calmly as I could, waiting to see what he’d say. “Ok?”

“Hmm. Morning.” He rubbed his eyes slightly and stretched, hoodie giving me a big flash of midriff and then making me bite my lip. _You didn’t look at that before you put it on, did you?_ It was Dani’s. 

“How long have you been here?”

“Hmm…20 minutes? 5 cigarettes and a hoarse throat. No hangover though, really.”

“Ah.” He blushed and sat opposite me, signaling at the packet and getting a nod in return, lighting up. “I’m in a lot of pain.”

“Hungover pain?”

He looked at me like _what other kind is there?!_ and then nodded. “Yeah. Urgh. Looking at you looking so fucking fresh really isn’t helping.” He stuck his tongue out and then necked half the Red Bull, leaving us sat in silence for a few minutes, before he looked back at me, suddenly fidgety.

“Don’t tell him.”

I frowned and then raised my eyebrows. “What?”

“Da…” He cleared his throat and then looked away. “D-Dani. Don’t tell him.”

I studied him for a few seconds then took a deep breath. “Tell him? What?”

“You know what if you walked past.”

 _Hmm. Fair enough._ “Are you freaked out?”

“No.” Too fast. He cleared his throat again and looked back at me, reading the expression perfectly and immediately giving in. “Yeah, I’m freaked out. Can I have a bit just…on my own?”

I nodded and wrapped him in a hug from behind before walking off, pressing a kiss into his hair. “Of course. Don’t panic.”

“Hmm…”

“Don’t panic.”

*

“You didn’t tell him, did you?”

I looked back at Dani and shook my head. “No. He doesn’t know you were awake.”

“Good. I mean…God, this is weird. I mean…” He levelled his eyes at me and raised his eyebrows slightly. “You promise you’re not going to tell him?”

“Promise. Nothing to do with me, it’s ok.”

“Ok. And I didn’t move because…because I wanted him to wake up first, ok? Or think he did. So he could move and think I didn’t know-“

“Dani, it’s fine. It’s completely, completely fine. Promise.”

“Promise?”

“I promise on my special Dani Pedrosa helmet.”

His lips twitched slightly into a smile at that, tone a bit lighter, and then pulled on his hoody, something different in the way he did, noticing me notice, blushing, staring and waiting for me to say something. “You want to go for a smoke and a walk? The opposite way to Marc?” I pointed at the front door and raised my eyebrows. “..?” _And you know that’s not yours, and you’re loving it._

“Wh…why?”

“Because…well, you either know why or you don’t. Shall I go and find my jeans?”

He stared at me for a few seconds, pushing his hands in his pockets, and then nodded, not looking at me. “Ok. S-sounds good.”

“Give me a minute.” I smiled at him and nodded, heading out the door, before he called me back. “Yeah?”

“Alex can’t know. If talk to you…you know?”

I nodded again. “I know.”

*

“This is weird.” Dani cleared his throat again and looked at me. “What do you think I’m going to say?”

 _Honestly? Eek._ “I don’t know…if I really expect you to say one thing or another, but I, er…have my suspicions..?” We were about 10 minutes away from the house, just wandering, no one around to find it weird. “But I don’t want to freak you out.”

“I, er…I don’t think you will.” He locked eyes with me and raised his eyebrows slightly. “I really don’t think you will.”

 _Woah. Ok then._ I gulped and nodded, stopping at the nearest bench and sitting opposite him, just enough room for me to be cross legged. “You’re bisexual. You’ve known for a long time. You’re perfectly comfortable with it now. But you’re never had a relationship with a guy, not really. That’s why you live in Geneva, because it’s more anonymous. Stop me if I go wrong…”

He give me a little rueful smile and shrugged. “Not yet…”

 _Woah woah woah._ “Ok. It’s never been a problem in the paddock before…but now it’s starting to be a bit awkward sometimes.”

He nodded.

“Because of Marc…”

He nodded again, and I let out a long woosh of breath, locking eyes with him and seeing a mix of happiness, horror and sadness. _Holy fuck._

“He can’t know. He’s so straight…I don’t want to lose him as a friend. Ok?”

“Ok. I said already, it’s not for me to tell anyone, don’t worry. So, do you…I mean…how strongly do you feel?”

He winced slightly at that and looked away, stealing my cigarette for a drag and then passing it back. “I’m not…in love with him…I just…I don’t know. I care about him a lot.”

“And you weren’t jealous last night?”

“Hmm…” He shrugged slightly and smiled. “I’m used to it. I think it’ll hurt more when he finds someone he cares about. Just sex…hmm. Just didn’t like seeing him hurt. You know?”

*

Once me and Dani were back, not much more said, everyone was awake. Alex and Tito were making eggs in the kitchen, singing a Sinatra duet in reasonable English, Tito the woman, which was fantastic, and they both, against all odds, seemed ok-ish. A bit tired and wired but nothing too terrible, serving up a massive pile of breakfast, Alex insisting I sat on his knee, for some reason, and let him feed me. Which lasted about a minute until the lack of pace and precision annoyed me and I bumped Tito over to have my own chair. Dani was fine; Dani wasn’t freaked out. Dani kept sending me little looks trying to double check I still promised to not say anything, and I kept sending Dani the same little nods in return to make him relax. Marc was not fine. He stared at the plate, alone and outside, eventually wolfing it down, and then wordlessly walked through past us and up to the shower, spending about 40 minutes in there, water so hot the steam was billowing out the door.

I knocked, worried, and at least tried. “Marc...are you ok in there?”

_“Not really, no.”_

I bit my lip at the sound of his voice, small and cracked, like he was really not very ok, and nodded on the other side of the door. “Ok. Everything will be ok, you know?”

_“Please leave me alone a while, Livi.”_

“Sorry. Just...I’m here. If you want to talk about anything? I’m here and I won’t tell Alex or Dani or anyone. Ok?”

There were a few seconds of pause before the words came back, a bit louder, him probably stood closer to the door, maybe out the shower. “ _Thanks. I think…maybe later. Ok?_ ”

“Whenever you want. Just say the word.”

There were another few seconds of silence before he spoke again, me somehow knowing he would and waiting for it.

_“Livi?”_

“Yeah?”

_“Th-thank you.”_

_No problem at all._

I really, really wanted to hug the door.

*

The rest of the day was spent basically the same as the first bit, for us. TV and movies, terribly bad food that was actually amazing, everyone lounging in the living room. Except Marc, who went out for a run, God knows how given the state of him, at 2pm. And was still gone by the time it got dark, running until his legs were shaking and lungs burning, finally coming back in and wordlessly heading upstairs for another shower, another long shower, and then nodded his way through us to the kitchen, opening himself a beer and putting the hoody back on, the one that he hadn’t yet realised wasn’t his, still in a bit of a daze, and after about 10 minutes I went out to check on him, Alex starting to but then being convinced against it by me, pretext me wanting something from the kitchen.

I closed the door behind me and noticed the relief on his face as he turned and saw it was me. _It’s a big honour for my presence to be a relief._

“Hey. You don’t seem very ok.”

He laughed slightly at that, slightly bitterly, and took a deep breath and a swig of beer. “Hmm.”

“You want to talk? Or want me to go…”

He considered it for a few seconds and then shook his head. “Talk. Please?”

I nodded and sat down next to him. “Whatever you want. You freaked out?”

“No.” He answered far too quickly and then sighed. “Ok, yeah. Yeah. Seriously…I…what the fuck?! What…I mean…wh-”

“Calm down.” I moved my chair closer, surprised by how he suddenly really was freaked out, calm confusion replaced by chest heaving, knuckles pretty pale as he grabbed the arms of his chair. I pried a hand free and laced my fingers through it. “It’s ok. I promise, it’s ok. Ok?”

“Hmm…”

“Marc, come on. It’s ok. Let’s talk about it, and in a few hours, and when you wake up tomorrow, it will all be fine. I promise. I _promise_.”

“But how can y-“

“Hmm. Alex doesn’t gossip much about me, eh?”

“What?”

“You’re not the only person sat in this garden who’s been freaked out by a similar thing, ok?”

“Wh…really?”

I nodded and squeezed his hand, feeling him squeeze back, and offered him the rest of my Red Bull and another smoke. “Do you remember anything?”

“From last night? Too much.”

“From the sofa.”

“You mean…I mean…you mean you think we-“

“No. No, I’m just wondering how you ended up like that. Do you remember?”

He visibly calmed again, hand still resolutely not letting go of mine, and then nodded slightly. “I think I said I wanted a hug. He put his arm round me…not much in it…you know, just like…normal…”

“You normally hug and stuff?”

“Yeah. Yeah? That’s normal isn’t it?”

“Well, if you’re obsessed with being normal, you’re going to have to surrender your titles…”

He laughed slightly at that, taking a few deep breaths, tension going, and then took his hand back, eyes communicating an incredibly deep _thank you_. “Ok, sorry. Yeah, we hug and stuff. I mean…not like…that? Last night. I’m not like ‘oooh Dani I’m feeling sad please hold me’ or anything…”

I nodded and smiled, trying to encourage, and he did carry on. 

“So, yeah…then I think we fell asleep…I did, anyway. And then I woke up…and I didn’t really realize…” He trailed off and took a few drags in silence before fixing his eyes back on mine. “I didn’t know it was Dani, but I didn’t want to move. I turned over and kind of…snuggled again…and then woke up properly and realised and…thank God. Would have been so awkward if he’d known…I mean…God…what’s wrong with me? He’s just…I mean, he came all this way for a party and he ends up on a sofa asleep and probably no idea how I…I don’t know. How I accidentally made it weird. I feel like I…I don’t know. I just…I don’t know how I feel but I know I’m so fucking glad he has no idea about it.”

 _Oh._ I tried to cover the realization and then took a drag and looked away. _You think he’d be freaked out. And you think it’s ‘your fault’._ “So you snuggled...sorry not a good word, but…I’ve done that with people by accident. Me and Bea spooned a few times like that, it’s not a weird thing. Once I woke up with her hands in places they really shouldn’t have been…but we were drunk, and it wasn’t weird.”

“It’s not the same.”

“No?”

“You’re girls.”

“We are. Although we’re both kind of bi-curious girls, or were, but it still didn’t make anything weird. We’re not even remotely interested in each other, you know? Like sisters. So it’s fine, just funny.”

“Well this feels weird so it must be different, ok?”

“Ok, ok.” I nodded and took his hand back to squeeze. “It doesn’t have to be weird. Between you…it doesn’t. It doesn’t have to be weird in your head, either.”

I left it at that and wondered if he’d read the unspoken bit. _With us, it wasn’t weird. Because we’re not interested._

“You want a few minutes?”

He nodded and I got up, wrapping my arms around him from stood behind his chair, and pressed a kiss on his cheek before resting my chin on his head. “Don’t panic. About anything. I promise.”

“Hmm.” His hands grabbed my forearms and held me there for a while, thumbs stroking the fabric, slowly calming down. “Hmm.”

I left it a few more seconds and then bit my lip, pulling away and taking my seat again, hand finding his again, holding on, waiting, letting his breath get slower and calmer, thumb gently making patterns on top of his, wondering when or how to say much else, eventually deciding I just had to go for it. “Marc?”

“Yeah?”

“Shall I bring you your hoody?”

He looked down and I felt a shiver go through him. _Sorry, I had to make sure you knew._ “Fuck.”

“It’s ok. It’s still ok.

“It’s not. It’s really…fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK fuck f-“

“Hey, hey hey. Shhh.” I gave his hand a squeeze and then walked round to crouch in front of him and grabbed his hands properly. “Why are you freaked out? If he doesn’t know, and it means nothing, why are you freaked out?”

His lip wobbled slightly as he stared down at me, and then his eyes flicked off into the distance and he took another, shakier breath, voice quiet. “I didn’t move.”

“You said you didn’t know it was Dani.”

“I didn’t. At first.”

“And then…?”

“And then…” He swallowed hard and finally looked back at me. “And then…I did. And I didn’t…well, no. I moved quite quickly…”

I left it a while before prompting the unspoken bit. “But…”

“B-But…” Another breath. “But not all of me wanted to..?”

“Right. Well, why is that so bad?”

“What?! Because he’s my teammate! Because he’s my straight teammate! And I’m straight, and everything was fine and I had my _hero_ as a friend and now I’ve just gone and fucked everyth-“

“No. No, you haven’t fucked anything up. It’s up to you, you understand? Listen to me, ok? It doesn’t matter what you’ve got in your head or why. It doesn’t matter whether society is telling you it’s weird or not. Not at all. If you want to hug someone, curl up with someone, do anything at all…it doesn’t matter who they are, as long as they want it too. You understand?”

“Hmm…”

“So fine, you’re a straight guy, Dani’s a straight guy. You’re both drunk and you’re feeling a bit…hurt, after what happened…you fall asleep and then end up like that. It’s fine. It would be fine if you got married because of it, it’s still fine if it means absolutely nothing. Am I making sense?” I felt a shiver of guilt at some of that, remembering Dani's face as we'd talked, but ultimately I meant what I'd said to both of them: this was private, both sides.

His eyes felt like they were burning through mine, something back, words getting through, finally. “Yes.”

“Good. _Good._ Now, if Dani doesn’t know, what’s so fucking weird? Other than you running through the sewers all day…” I risked a smile and finally found a weak one in return. “See? If you want it to be, it’s the same as it was at this time yesterday, except now we all look like shit.”

Another actual smile. “Seriously though, I-“

“No seriously, no nothing. You hugged a man, you were both comfy. Everything else is up to you and your head, not whatever you’re told is weird or isn’t. Now, are we ready?”

“Ready?”

“Well I thought you were meant to be a superhero or something…not a crybaby…”

His eyes flashed with the exact mixture of annoyance, arrogance, fire and amusement that I’d been trying to find, and he suddenly leaned forward and whacked a peck on my cheek. “Right. Fuck that.”

“Boom, here he is. Honestly thought I was going to have to ring Santi for a while there…”

“Santi?!”

I nodded and smiled, squeezing his hands again. "Yeah, Santi. You know, world’s greatest hugger?”

He held the door open for me and followed me in, both heading to the kitchen to grab another beer, him pausing to yell through and ask if anyone else wanted one. Dani did, Marc gave me a slight look, and then he came back again. 

“Hmm…wasn’t the problem too much hugging in the first place?”

I grinned at that and shrugged, accepting my bottle and following him back through, curling up around Alex again, Tito at the other end of ‘our’ sofa, and watched Marc pause for a split second as he noticed where the empty seat was, smiled at Dani, passed him the beer, and then sat down, clinking their bottles together and pointing at his chest.

“I, er...seem to have stolen a child-size hoodie…”

Dani laughed at that, gave him the finger, and then shared a tiny, tiny look with me. 

_Thank you for whatever you said. And didn't._


	46. Home Defeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for everything guys! Hope you like... ♥
> 
> Chapter 46, big conversations ;)

Saturday night was weird, like a MotoGP homeless shelter. Obviously, Marc, Alex and Tito spent a lot of time together, but having Roser and Julia away meant that the older rider stayed the weekend, which wasn’t normal for them either, and Marc wandered in to the kitchen where me and Alex were cooking (or truthfully, where I was cooking and Alex was watching and tasting)) to say Dani was going to stay as well. I didn’t know what had happened in the hour or so in between the meltdown and the announcement but he seemed happy his teammate was staying and the other two didn’t bat an eye since Marc was apparently normal again. 

We sat round the table again for the food, which was surprisingly kind of ok, and the conversation was fun and interesting until we somehow (me and Dani, mainly, showing our age slightly) ended up talking about Europe, xenophobia and gay marriage. He brought it up, and we did share a quick look at the topic, before Tito made me wince slightly. 

“I don’t really understand why it’s important.”

I looked at Dani, wondering if it was to him, wondering if his sexuality was something that meant it had to be or if he still had the wife and two kids image in his brain, and saw a slight smirk. “Why?”

“Well…I just…I don’t understand why there can’t be two different things. You know, marriage for men and women and then something else for men and men, or whatever.”

“Everyone should be equal.”

I raised my eyebrows slightly at that and looked at Marc, unlikely conviction in the statement, forkful of pasta now in his mouth and stopping any subsequent response, and he looked back like I was on fire. “Wh-ttt.”

“Feel strongly about that?”

“Yeah, kind of. Especially after…you know…”

I watched Dani splutter slightly and dived in to save it. “You mean after what I said about me?”

“Yeah. Pretty much. And how much of a bastard your straight husband is.” He grinned at me and shovelled more in. “Plsss…” Swallow. “Plus, it doesn’t matter, does it?” He looked at me again and smiled. “What society says…all that matters is yourself, yeah? If people want to get married, they should be able to.”

I nodded at him, strange but fantastic feeling of having made an impression on the World Champion who prided himself on only listening to useful information, and then smiled. “Pretty much. I agree. Don’t you think?” I looked back at Tito and found a considered smile, starting to relax again.

“Yeah, I guess. Never really thought about it until now.”

 _Well I thought two of us had, apparently change that to three._ “Yeah, I’m not offended or anything. Nobody else is, right?”

Everyone shook their heads.

“Cool. So…I don’t know. I agree. Although as the only married person at the table, I can say it’s really not that great.”

“Wouldn’t do it again, then?”

I shrugged and smiled back at him, Marc now apparently my new best friend. “I don’t know. Don’t really see the point after everything so probably not.”

Everyone else immediately turned to look at Alex, me realising that problem far too late. 

_Fuck._

“Everybody finished?” He blushed under the stare and started collecting plates to take back into the kitchen, leaving quickly and not saying another word.

“Shit.”

“Sorry, didn’t think about that. You…and him…”

“Does he want to get married? Or what? I mean-“

“Not now, not now.” The older brother grinned at me and then nodded at the kitchen door. “Don’t panic. Go and ask.”

 _Ok so yeah maybe good advice can go both ways._ “Ok…” I shuffled off after him, suddenly nervous again, and leant against the doorframe, watching the face of concentration really not that needed, obvious defence. “Hey. You left in a hurry.”

“Hmm?”

“You ran off.”

“No.” He carried on stacking before grabbing some coffee out the cupboard. “Just wasn’t really in the conversation.”

“Says the laziest Marquez in the house.” I smiled at the little smirk of admission and nodded. "Come on, talk to me.”

“Don’t think there’s much to say after that.”

 _Awww God._ I walked in properly and wrapped him in a hug from behind. “It was just a hypothetical conversation. Ok?”

“Hmm.”

 _Ok more firepower needed._ “Stop.” I reached my arms round him and made him. “Talk to me. Please?”

A little huff. “What do you want me to say?”

“What you’re thinking.” I unravelled myself and turned him to face me. “Please. Honestly.”

“I don’t know if talking about this stuff again is a good idea right now.”

“Right now?”

“It’s not a simple conversation is it? And the last time we had it you walked off.”

 _Ouch._ “That wasn’t the same-“

“It kind of was. It’s ok, let’s just leave it until-“

“No, let’s not leave it.”

“Look, I don’t want to hurt you, ok? We’re doing ok. No one’s had any meltdowns, we’ve had a good party. Let’s not.”

“This isn’t the same as kids.”

“Why?”

“Because kids might not be up to me.”

He frowned and shrugged, confused. “Well it wouldn’t just be up to me, would it?”

“No, it wouldn’t. But kids is about…possible. Ok? Marriage is…different.”

“Different.” _Possible._

“Different. A free choice.”

“That you wouldn’t take. Oh, ok. That makes it a lot better.”

 _Woah._ “Hey, come on. Stop-“

“I’m not doing anything. I think I’m going to go for a walk, to be honest. I’ll see you later.”

I stared at the hole left in the doorway and wondered how and why that had gone quite so downhill so quickly, walking back in to the table, finishing the coffee task for him, sitting back down.

“Ok?”

“No.”

“He left.”

“Yeah.” I looked back at Marc and shrugged a bit pathetically. “Is he…I mean…has he talked to you about it before?”

“Getting married? No, not really.”

“So it’s not like…one of his dreams or anyth-“

“No, but what people want changes, doesn’t it?”

“Does it?” I knew I’d said it with a little bit too much _something_ in it and winced. “I mean, yeah-“

“Yeah, it does.” Another look. “It can change a lot. When you meet people, get to know people. When you get trapped in lifts and fall in love with people.”

“I know. Sorry.” I sipped on my coffee and then sighed again. “I didn’t mean him. You know?”

“Well who else are you planning on getting divorced for?”

“I’m not getting divorced for Alex, Marc. I’m getting divorced for me.”

“Hmm…”

“Seriously, don’t. I didn’t leave anyone for him. I would have, yeah. But I didn’t. I just gave up on something.”

“Well…he was sat right next to you.”

I wanted to yell but bit my lip instead and slowly felt myself admit he was right. “He was. It just felt like a hypothetical conversation.”

“Hypothetical conversations can tell you a lot, though.” Dani raised his eyebrows and waited. “Don’t you think?”

 _Everybody, everybody agrees I was a dick._ “Right, yeah. Ok. I was a dick. Ok?”

“Hmm…better…” Marc grinned again and then shared a look with his teammate that I saw reflected on Dani’s face as a _are we talking about something else, here?_ “He’ll be back in a few minutes, don’t worry.”

“And then what do I say?”

“Well…what would you say now if we had that conversation again?”

I took a deep breath and shrugged. “Honestly I don’t know.”

“Well then you’d probably better think about it.” 

_Oh thanks, hadn’t realised that._ “Everyone’s a bit bitchy tonight, aren’t they?”

Marc and Dani looked at each other and then back at me, smirking, mood lifting, me narrowing my eyes in response. “Nope.”

“Ok, ok. Fine.” I smiled and pretended to huff to my feet, Tito smirking into his coffee, probably weirder for him than anyone else, and took the last few things through to the kitchen. “I’ll have a smoke and think about it.”

“Thought you were a casual smoker?”

“It still smells in there, Marc. Don’t be cheeky.”

“I’m an elite athlete, I can get away with it.”

“You can get away with less than what you think.”

“Ok yeah you win.”

I popped my head back round the door and pretended I was appalled. “Marc Marquez did you just give up?”

“Yup.” He nodded and grinned at me, on his feet and ironically headed back to the sofa. “Saving myself for this.”

“What’s this?”

“Fifa. Full concentration this time, and-“

“You know the key is to put effort into the battles you can actually win, right?”

“Fuck off. This is war.”

I let that one go and looked back at Tito and Dani. “Who’s playing him first?”

Dani smiled. “Me.”

“Let him play as Barça, and play as-“

“I know. Even despite my loyalties, _I know._ ”

_Oh do you._

“I thought you said you weren’t very good?” Tito.

“I’m not. But he’s a fucking disaster.”

We all laughed at that and a muted _fuck off_ echoed back from the sofa. _Marc, proper Marc is back._

*

“Hey. Can I talk to you?”

To their credit, they immediately paused the game (25th minute, 2-1 to Dani and Real). “Yeah. Private?”

“Yeah.”

I nodded and followed him out, the sound of Camp Nou coming alive again behind us as we walked out, my brain vaguely commenting how unfortunate it was going to be when Marc inevitably lost. _Home defeat. Ouch._ We reached the kitchen and stood leaning on opposite counters, me deciding to dive in first. “Look, I’m sorry. Ok?”

“What for?”

“For not thinking about it before I opened my mouth.”

“So you still agree with what you said?”

I sighed and shrugged. “Honestly? I hadn’t thought about it. It’s not in my mind anymore. I’ve done it once and it…I don’t know. It turned out to mean nothing. So it just wasn’t a question I’d thought about.”

“Right.”

“Don’t be like that, let’s talk about it.”

“We are, I just don’t like what I’m hearing.”

“Ok, well…like I said to Marc…it was a hypothetical conversation. I wasn’t thinking about you or not you or-“

“You see that worries me. Because I was thinking about you.”

“I don’t mean I’m not thinking about you in the future. The real future, the one we’re actually-“

“Still.”

“Ok…” _How did this happen._ “Look, I love you. I said to Marc before, as well, that I’m not getting divorced for you. I’m doing that for me. Because I don’t want to be married to him anymore. But…even really soon after…ok, the night after I met you, I went out for dinner with him. Jordi. And I walked out. No real reason, normally it would have seemed like a fairly nice evening. But I’d spent all day with you in that fucking lift and it just felt…wrong. After a few hours with you. I would have left him for you then, even if it had been a proper relationship again, because I love you and it just feels…right. You know?”

“Of course I know.” Softer, definitely more defrosted.

“Exactly. It’s not about committing to you, I promise. It just doesn’t seem like a special thing to do anymore.”

“Getting married?”

“Yeah.”

“But being married.”

“Is there a difference?”

“There is to me. Like…the day and everything? Ok. Yeah, I understand that. But wearing a ring…having something always there, even when we’re not together, to just remind you…I want that. I didn’t really realise how much I wanted that until you said that stuff but I do. I really, really do.” He held up his hand and then shrugged. “You can’t come to every race forever. But it’s important to me that there’s something-“

“But does it have to be a ring?”

“Well there’s not much else I can wear on track, is there?”

“You’d keep it on, then.”

“Yeah, I would. All the time. Every corner. And that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Not the day and the ‘oooh we’re married, look at these doves we threw in the air’…it’s about the day after and the day after and the day after, when you look down at your hand and you’re reminded.”

“Every corner.” _That’s a great way of putting it._

“Yeah, exactly. I mean, I don’t mean I want to marry you tomorrow, not that we can…but…I’m going to ask you at some point. Even if you say now that you’ll always say no, basically.”

“It means that much?”

“It means that much. Even now, I don’t like being on track with nothing on me that says that.”

 _Wow._ I let that sink in and felt myself nod. “Ok.”

“Explain what ‘ok’ means.”

“Ok means…” I took a few steps forward and wrapped him in a hug. “Ok means that ‘round every corner’ sounds good. And if it matters that much to you, it matters to me.”

“So you’d do it just because I wanted to.”

“No, it’s not like that. I’d do it because you make good points, because I love you, and because anything I can do to show you how much you mean to me is a complete honour. Ok?”

“Sounds kind of the same.”

“Look.” I lowered my voice and prodded him. “Can we stop this now because you know I hate admitting when I’m wrong…” I looked up and smiled, eyebrows raised, watching that sink in, wondering what on Earth I was letting myself in for, or when. _But I think I really mean it._

“Oohhh, that’s what this is, is it?” Big, wide grin.

I looked away as pantomime coy as I could and then shrugged. “Mayy beee…”


	47. Hot Medusa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know?? ;) ♥
> 
> Thank you!!

Aragón had all been planned before Bea and Marc had ended up in Marc’s bed is what I realised. Because she was supposed to be coming too. And to my eternal surprise, she did actually turn up. We talked about it a bit before the race and she seemed to try and skirt around it a bit, which puzzled me if it was honestly only for fun, but then it all came out eventually, over 5 million Marlboros and a couple of drinks not shared by the guys, on Thursday night in Alcañiz. I got recognized in the paddock very occasionally by ‘members of the public’, but we were under the radar and pretending we’d not both had recent sexual intercourse with the first brothers to lead Championships simultaneously, as it would be by Monday. Or that’s what I kind of slurred at her. Although, I added, I did not ever want to forget that I got to do that with Alex Marquez ‘all the time’, ‘but how often’, ‘still way too often believe me.’ Then I told her she should apologise to Marc.

“What?!”

“I know no one made any promises or anything but I don’t think he expected you to just-“

“Oh come on, Livi. He’s a 21 year old World Champion! He’s not going to give a shit if I-“

“Actually he kind of does. Or he did. As in, we needed a bit of a hug afterwards to make him feel better.”

“WHAT?!”

_Yeah, we hugged. Not him and Dani spooning and maybe half in love with each other._ “Yeah. So maybe just…say something? Or just-“

“What can I say?!”

“I don’t know! Just something like ‘hey, sorry if you were getting different signals, you’re amazing but I was just looking for fun’?”

“So treat him like a naïve 17 year old girl, like I’m some sort of-”

“That’s harsh. Why is it naïve? From his point of view, I turn up in Alex’s life and everything about it screams ‘this won’t last’, and then…look!”

“Yeah but they’re two different people-“

“Yeah, they are. Alex spent days convincing me he wanted more than just fun, I think Marc kind of assumed you got that from the way he was looking at you.”

“The way he was looking at me?”

“Yeah. Like he really likes you. And looking at your eyes when you talk, not your chest. Ok?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“But…really?!”

“Yes…”

That went on for a while, until eventually we got back to the track, a lot more sober, and I said my goodnight to her, me in Alex’s motorhome and her in another with a spare bed, and wrapped myself around my glorious boyfriend.

“Hi Alex Marquez.”

“Hello Olivia. Drunk? A bit?” He grinned at me and laughed at the innocent face and pout.

“Hey! I’m not even joking.”

“Aww sorry. It’s ok though, as long as you don’t throw up on me.”

“I’m not drunk. And I would never, you’re too pretty…” I grinned evilly and disappeared under the covers, moan echoing through the bed as my lips made their way down his stomach, hand in my hair. “Wait…” I popped up again and grinned. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” I leaned up and got the messiest, most satisfying kiss.

“Right I’ll carry on now…”

*

_Oh house guests at 1136pm before practice. Great._ “What?” He called through the door and waited, honestly expecting it to be his brother, or Emilio, or someone with a proper reason. 

_“I think we need to talk.”_

_That’s a girl. A girl who wants to talk to me._ He gulped as he realised through the foggy brain who it was. _Well, no. A woman that I need to drink some serious vodka before I can look in the eye. Outside. Now. I have no vodka._ “Do we? Didn’t seem like it…”

_“Don’t be a dick.”_

“Me?!”

_“Yeah. You’re a 21 year old World Champion who looks like a fucking Greek God or something. Didn’t really expect you to want much from me, to be honest.”_

Marc stalled at that and stared around the room for a second, aware how rude this was in one way but equally rooted to the spot. “Right…”

_“Going to open the door?”_

“It’s late. And I’m not drunk enough to talk to you face to face.”

_“Is that trying to imply that I’m hideous?”_

“NO! God no.” He swallowed again and wrenched the door open, not quite meeting her gaze. “The opposite.” Eye contact, just about.

“Marc Marquez did you just say I’m too beautiful to talk to?”

“Kind of…although when you say it like that it sounds cheesy…” _Just don’t look at her, and it’s fine and my sense of humour works fine and-_

“Not cheesy. Christ, Livi was right. I’m sorry.”

“Eh?”

“Look at me.”

“Hmm…”

“Marc, I’m not like a…hot Medusa or something…”

“Course not.” He managed to look back at her again and the faintest real, cheeky smile appeared. “Livi told you to apologise?”

“No. Well…she said I might have reason to apologise. But nothing else. Shit…if you think she’s just been talk-“

“No, not what I meant. It’s ok. And you’re a bit drunk.”

“Yup. And cold…” She pouted up and kind of forgot about the fact that entering the motorhome might not be a great idea. “Wait no act-“

“No, come in. It’s not messy, and I’m fully dressed…”

_Not for long._ She smiled and went in past him, both pausing a millisecond as they passed close together, feeling the same thing from the garden at the party, the sudden jolt of it being a complete necessity to jump each other as quickly as possible, this time unaided by too much drink and Ninja Turtle masks. “Ok, well…I came to say sorry, anyway. Maybe I assumed wrong.”

Something in the genuine tone and posture made the image break slightly and Marc found himself finally feeling like an equal again. “Did I…I mean…I didn’t exactly push you away though, did i?”

“No.” She coughed and then smiled slightly sadly. “Maybe…maybe I’m a bit fucked in the head, you know? Maybe I got used to being the one to run off so that I can pretend it’s what I wanted.” _Fuck that was a bit honest._

“Oh…” Marc had absolutely no idea how to take that. “Oh…”

“Oh.” Bea smiled at him and nodded, little shrug, and then leaned up to peck him on the cheek. “Goodnight. Sorry if I hurt you, and good luck tomorrow.”

He nodded mutely and watched her get the couple of steps as far as the door before coughing slightly and managing to find his voice. “Er…tomorrow night…you want to have dinner or something? Nothing special, just here. But…” _Deep breath._ “…just us?”

She stood there for a few seconds thinking about it, looking at him nervously fidgeting, and then took her own deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, maybe I do.”

Smirk. “Maybe...”

_Fuck off._ “It’s what cool people say when ‘yes’ is too scary.”

“Ah, ok.” He smiled at that and then crossed the distance back to her and wrapped her in a hug. “Thanks. For being honest. And nice.” _And making me feel less intimidated. And also dealing with how unsmooth I am right now._

“You know you never said anything.”

“What?” _We’re still hugging. She smells great._

“You never said anything when I got up and left.”

“Ah.” He shrugged slightly and they pulled away from each other. “Medusa., you know…”

She grinned back at him for a second before whacking him on the arm, both laughing, Marc in that special, evilly brilliant way, watching her walk off and give him the finger behind her back. “Goodnight Babychamp.”

“Goodnight, Medusa.”

“Don’t..” She turned round, feet still moving the opposite way, and grinned. “Don’t.”

“Me? What?!” Cheeky grin.

“You know what. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He waited a couple of seconds, her turning around again, timing it to perfection.

“ _Maybe…_ ”


	48. Whenever, Wherever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patience isn't a Marquez family trait, right? ;)
> 
> Nerves...hope you like ♥ and thank you!

“Ok…?” I wrapped an arm round his waist and squeezed, something obviously a bit off. “Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“Alex. Come back to me…” I smiled and stopped us, standing in front of him with raised eyebrows and waving my hand slightly. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.”

“Once more, with feeling…”

He finally properly focused on me and then nodded, tucking some hair behind my ear and smiling. “Sorry. Yes, I’m ok. Bit sore…bit stressed.”

“Massage?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Ok then, it is. Are we still having dinner with M-“

“No.” He looked back at me in a mixture of apprehension, happiness and nervousness. “He’s having dinner with Bea.”

“What?!”

“Yup…”

_Thanks for telling me, bitch. Jesus. But-_ “Like…a date?”

“I think so. Like a date…” He started us walking again and then held the door up into his motorhome, something still off, not very interested in Marc’s lovelife (which was weird), and then sat down staring at the wall.

_Please talk to me._ I made sure the door was shut and then walked over, straddling him, noticing the slight _not in the mood for sex_ vibe fade as I just wrapped my arms around him and pressed my lips to his ear, nothing too sexual about it. _I’m just too short to try it most other ways._ “Please talk to me.”

He nodded into my shoulder and pressed a kiss into my neck as his arms pulled me in. “Sorry.”

“No need to say sorry. What’s up?”

“Nothing, really. I’m just stressed. I just keep going over and over ‘well if Miller wins this and then I do this, but what if this and what if this…’…I think it’s being at home and having so many people asking constant questions.”

_Thank you._ I nodded and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I can imagine. But you don’t need to be stressed. I know that’s easy to say, but the only thing you can do is your best. And stressing and thinking like this…that makes it harder to do your best.” I got off him slightly and pulled him down so we were lying face to face. “I know you know that, I just hope it helps to hear it.”

“It helps to hear it.” He nodded before pulling me in so I was flush against him, arm draped over me, fingers under the fabric of my t shirt in the small of my back. “It helps to hear it from you.”

“I’m glad my opinion matters.”

“Always.” He rubbed the ends of our noses together and smiled. “ _Always._ Except when it’s about you, when you should never ever listen to yourself and only ever listen to people who love you.”

“Saying I don’t love myself?”

“Yup.” He gave me a _we’ve had this conversation before and you just need to accept that you’re worth loving_ kind of look, fingers digging in slightly to make the point. “But…” He let out some breath and then closed his eyes. “It’s getting serious now. It’s not a maybe anymore…it could actually happen.”

“You can do it, and you’re ready to do it.”

“I’m not s-“

“:Listen. You’re a Marquez. And I don’t mean you’re related to Marc, I mean you’ve come from the same place. Ok? You and Marc are different people. Different racers. But you come from the same place, and you’ve been given the same things to believe in. And those are good things. Ok? They’re things that work. Hard work, determination…you know, a list of Jorge Lorenzo quotes…” He smiled slightly at that, eyes still closed, and nodded. “See, so you’re different, but you have the same tools in a lot of ways. And they can be successful, Marc shows that. But…remember Marc had the best bike. I’m not saying your brother’s not incredible, but he always had the best bike. He also had that crash and everything in 2011, I know. It’s made you even more different people on track, I think. But your achievements are just as incredible this far, and they’re going to be just as incredible from here onwards. You don’t have the best bike, and you’re racing a seriously good group of guys. There’s no pressure from people whose opinions matter. None at all. And I can’t explain to you how it feels to watch you do what you do. You make me so proud.”

“But I haven’t won f-“

“Yeah well, Moto3 is fucking insane so ending up in the top 5 is amazing to me. Not that, though. You’re just…” I bit my lip, surprised at the sudden strength of emotion, and pulled him in as close as humanly possible. “You’re an inspiration. Not on track, every single minute.”

He smiled again and pressed his lips against mine. “Well maybe now I have good back up.”

“You know, that really must mean I love you.”

“Hmm?”

“Back up isn’t offensive.”

He smiled again and finally opened his eyes, fixing them on mine, unwavering and fascinating. “You know what I mean. I’m yours, too.”

“I know. Did I do ok?”

He nodded and closed his eyes again, hand combing through my hair. “How did you know it was about Marc? Or, you know…a bit anyway.”

I smiled to myself and snuggled down against his chest, feeling correctly the conversation was almost over and we were going to take a few minutes to digest the events of the day. “Because…I don’t know. Just…I know you?”

“Hmm.” The hum and nod with the slight smile seemed to underline the calm silence around us and I felt another one of those moments hit me, where I realised where I was, with whom, everything…and more and more, that it didn’t seem crazy anymore. The Honda guys, anyway. Coming face to face with Valentino Rossi that morning was not in that category. “Can I say something else…?”

“Anything.”

“I want to say sorry. For how I was on...whenever it was. About the marriage thing. I think I just panicked…but I shouldn’t have-“

“You know you’re so fucking weird. You’re EIGHTEEN! Why are you PANICKING because I DIDN’T want to get married.”

“You know why.” Self-assured, cheeky, cheeks slightly red. “But I like the past tense.”

“Pfff. I’m still trying to readjust everything in my head to get used to this, but apparently that bit sunk in ok.”

“Good.” Another slight grin. “Sorry though. Ironic immaturity?”

“You? Fuck off. Never.”

“Ok, then. Get married in the spring, then?” 

“Don’t push your luck…”

“I’m joking. You know that. I hope.”

“I do but my heart’s now going faster than Marc round COTA.”

“Shhhhh.” He grinned again and planted a kiss in my hair, hand going to my chest to feel the thwack of my heart setting lap records. “No panic. I think we have time.”

“You really don’t mean soon?”

“Nope. Not soon. That’s fine. But like I said, I might ask. Just to know, to see you wear it...”

_That sounds more and more like a dream than a nightmare._ “Stop it…”

“Deep breaths, you pathetic little munchkin.”

I giggled at that and whacked him in the ribs. “Evil.”

We lapsed into silence for a while before he spoke again, lips close and voice quiet. “Livi?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re sure?”

“Still important to you?”

“Not as much as I thought, but yeah. But mainly, I want to know that you don’t regret what you said.”

“I don’t regret what I said. And if when you ask, there’s no date, there’s no pressure…if you’re happy to be engaged for a while, and I think I might need a long while, then I mean it. More than I thought.”

“Good.” He wriggled around slightly and pressed a soft kiss to my lips before pressing them against my ear again. “Open your eyes.”

I did, and felt my breath catch. _Jesus Christ._ Another few seconds of wide eyed shock. _Jesus Christ._

“Olivia. I love you, and one day…whenever, wherever…when you’re ready, I want to make that official. Will you marry me?”

I stared at him for a few seconds, eyes flicking between the ring between our faces and his eyes, shining at me, knowing somehow what I was going to say, judging it perfectly, judging the lack of drama and big gestures perfectly, judging my taste in very simple jewelry perfectly. Judging the words perfectly.

_Speak! Words, come forth!_ “Y-you mean...one day...”

He nodded and smiled, nerves gone again. “Whenever. This is a promise, not a plan.”

_Then yes._ I realised more than anything why I was so shocked. _Because I immediately started screaming yes! in my brain._ “Promise?” _Please stop shaking, I’m cooler than this._

“Promise. June 2040?”

“And if I’m not ready?”

“September 2060. Not a problem.”

We shared a smile before I took one more deep breath and then found myself nodding, relief at being allowed to flooding through me, panic dissipating, readying my tongue for the words and then finding them hit my ears. “Then yes.”

His eyes lit up again as he actually heard the word, nerves maybe having been more well-hidden than honestly gone, and pulled me in for a kiss after a massive sigh of relief. “Fuuuuuuuucking hell you took your time.”

I laughed into his mouth and then pulled away, his hand finding mine, both of us watching as he gently slipped it on my finger, memory of the first time I’d felt that playing in my mind, difference incredible, almost laughable, our eyes locked together and the most amazing surge of something zinging through us as we paused for a second and took a few breaths. “Sure?”

I nodded and managed to gasp the word out into his mouth as I got pinned down and then lifted up, carried down to the bed, head spinning in all the right ways. “I’m sure. Sure.” _God I actually am sure. I'm sure. How am I sure? Why haven't I wet myself?_

“Good.” He put me down on the end of the bed and then stood there looking at me for a few seconds, grabbing my hand and looking down at the ring. “You know I knew you might say yes. Or I hoped. And I knew that would make me happy, but…I can’t explain.”

I squeezed his hand and nodded, other arm going round his waist to pull him a bit closer. “I know. _I know._ Let’s try and show it instead, yeah?”

He nodded and pulled his hoody off, ruffling his hair, cheeks flushed, eyes burning with something even more incredibly addictive than normal, crawling over me until we were eye to eye again. “Yes.”

"And I want to tell you a secret." I pressed my lips against his ear and whispered through an involuntary moan as his hands started on my clothes. "I wanted to say yes, straight away."

"Really."

"Really." I nodded and arched my back to let him pull my jeans off. "So who's the pathetic munchkin now?"

He laughed slightly and pinned me down again, friction through thin fabric now evilly teasing, nibbling my earlobe, then down my neck, words vibrating and humming over my skin. 

"Nope, still you."


	49. Swapping Paint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I have had serious internet issues on my travels!
> 
> But here we go... first one for today, more right now :D Thank you so much for reading! ♥

Marc spent the final ten minutes panicking, as he’d kind of known he would. He realised the second she left that a date on a race weekend, the night before qualifying, was a stupid idea. Stupid. But he’d said it, and he had the feeling that it had been a do or die kind of window of opportunity. And he wanted it. A lot.

_Just should have remembered how fucking nervous this stuff makes me._

He looked in the mirror again and grimaced, pulling off the white t shirt and going back to the original grey one he’d had on in the first place, no idea what looked good on him or not, only really aware of his appearance in terms of whether his hair was kind of ok or a birds nest, and that, at least, was kind of behaving.

_Fuuuuuck._

He looked at the clock again and let out a sigh. Ten minutes.

*

Part of me had been expecting a call about clothes or make up or something else stress, cliché at the forefront of my mind, but I realised by about 10 minutes after the time she was meant to meet him that, actually, Bea never did that. She liked what she liked, she wore what she wore, most people thought she looked intimidating and harsh but extremely hot, but never whoreish, and she was fine with that. That was kind of the point.

I imagined she’d gone for tight dark wash jeans and a 99 top, again to annoy him. Black boots. MAC Russian Red. But then I found the note.

_You didn’t answer so Alex let me in and I stole it…guess what it is? ;)_

I went through my bag and started to grin, realising straight away what it was, the only flash of red that should have been in there, gone.

_And I remember you saying to me ‘never, I’d never wear…’_ An MM93 vest top.

And I imagined she looked good enough in it to stop traffic.

_Poor boy._

*

The knock on his door sent Marc scrabbling over to it way too quickly, then having to awkwardly pause behind it to make himself seem less desperate, finally pulling it open and feeling the breath leave him completely.

_Wow._ “O-oh my God.”

She raised one eyebrow and nodded, little shrug, coy, but not too coy, and then smiled at the look on his face. “I like the way you feel on me.” He went even redder and his eyes flashed, and she grinned. “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

Marc stuttered, couple of shots of vodka he’d slammed a few minutes ago starting to have the desired effect, and then cleared his throat and took a breath. _Come on._ “I hope you’ll be saying that again.”

“Oh, hello. This is the Marc I remember from the other night. Not that nervous guy, who leaves his date stood on the doorstep whilst he stares at her…” She clicked her fingers and smiled. “Hey there Babychamp, my face is up here.”

Even redder. “Wh…S-“

“Just let me in and take a deep breath.” 

He nodded and opened the door further, beckoning her past, feeling himself fizz as she planted a kiss on his cheek, lips leaving a perfect outline of red, his fingers going up to it automatically to feel the trace. “Want a drink?”

“Hmm…water, please.”

“Ok.” He nodded and closed the door, getting her a glass of water and then calling the hospitality people to bring food, the few minutes between that and it arriving suddenly seeming a blur rather than anything too terrifying, chatter starting to get more normal, although granted he was concentrating on not looking at her and the vodka had kicked in. The food arrived, they ate, he looked down at his plate with the same tactics, some small glances and smiles, talking but mainly eating, both of them. She noticed that, obviously. And then, finally, he looked up at her, properly, and their gazes locked.

“Why are you so nervous?”

_Just look at you._ “Hm…thought I was hiding it a bit better?”

“Nope.” Bea grinned at him and then got up, his face falling as though she was just going to leave, and walked round the little table and grabbed his hand, pulling him up and over to the sofa, ignoring anything and everything else, pointing at the TV and then looking back at him, perched awkwardly next to her. “You said dinner and movie, like a proper date. What do you want to watch?”

He stared at her a few seconds and then smiled slightly, shrugging, pointing to the stack of DVDs out and visible. “Oh. Well…I don’t mind.”

“Liar.”

“Eh?”

“If I said ‘ok then, let’s watch a documentary about Russian oil rig workers’, you’d probably mind.”

He shrugged as though that could be completely his favourite before cracking into a smile and nodding. “Ok fair enough. But I don’t mind out of the available options. Fair?”

“Fair. Which is surprising…” She grinned to herself and then felt a reminder of how they’d ended up slamming each other into the exterior wall of the house in Cervera as he dared to whack her on the arm. 

“Seriously, I race fair. I’ve made a few mistakes…”

“Indeed.”

Another whack. “Look, you want to be here because you said yes. So give up on the Casey Stoner and admit that maybe sometimes…swapping a bit of paint can be ok…”

_Here we go._ “Swapping paint.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, faces closer than either had really realised as she’d been flicking through film options and he’d been watching, and then Bea started to smile as Marc started to go red. “Was that too f-“

“No. I was more thinking…sounds like a good analogy.”

“Hmm.” His eyes were like something between oil and gold. “For..?”

“Swapping paint.” She grinned slightly, evilly, and wiped the end of her index finger over her lips, tracing Marc’s bottom lip a second later and seeing it go pink as some of the lipstick stayed put. “Hmm?”

He stared at her, mouth now slightly open, tongue slightly visible, air between them thick with electricity, before she put down the DVDs and shuffled slightly closer. 

“Cat got your tongue?”

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly into a smile, still paralysed, vodka bravery now a distant memory, and he waited as she moved forward, closing the distance between them slower than he thought he’d be able to manage to control himself for, lips on his a few seconds later, soft and gentle, nothing like before, tongue tracing his bottom lip, hands going round him, pulling him in, that finally waking him up and sending his own around her to pull her closer, leaning back against the back of the sofa as she gently pushed him back, straddling him, his hands going down her back to rest on her hips and sending shivers through her. _Jesus Christ._ Other than the sensory overload of being _caressed_ by Marc Marquez’s tongue, all she could distantly think was _Jesus Christ_. “You know…” She broke the kiss and stared down at him, both out of breath and panting slightly, eyes black. “You’re a fucking amazing kisser.”

_Really?!_ That thought must have been evident on his face as she raised an eyebrow and nodded, smiling.

“Yup. Now I can feel what I’m doing to you…” She ground down on him slightly and felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck at the soft noise that made, denim on denim followed by a little growl. “Would you like to feel what you’re doing to me?”

They stared at each other for another few seconds until she gently moved Marc’s hand to the top button of her jeans. 

“Hmm?”

*

“How is it possible…” I rolled over to check the time on the alarm clock and then back again to where I had been before. “That you seem to be getting better at this.”

He grinned, cheeky and proud and cheesy but also slightly red faced, and shrugged. “Hmm…good teacher?”

“Thanks for the ego boost but I think it’s just natural talent. You started off _screamingly_ good anyway, so….”

He grinned again and pulled me in, fingers dancing down my back. “For what it’s worth, I always pretend that this is normal now, but honestly, my brain explodes every time.”

“Just your brain…?”

“Fuck off.” He prodded me and then laughed into the crook of my neck as I tickled back. “You know what I mean.”

“Hmm, I do.” I relaxed against him for a few minutes, both of us a bit messy and sticky but all too comfy, and then finally sat up. _Dinner time._ “I’m hungry.”

His eyes widened for a second before he grinned. “SHIT!”

“Pffff. I’m not that bad-”

“CALL THE POLICE! EMERGENCY!”

“FUCK YOU, ALEX. FUCK YOU.”

“STOP YELLING! YOU’RE CRAZY ALREADY!”

“I’M HUNGRY!”

“FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!” He ripped himself out of bed and started flailing around the room for clothes, me giggling and watching, eyes displaying all too obviously the truth that I was getting used to. _I fucking adore you._

“Stop.”

“But you’ll _die_. Or you’ll KILL PEOPLE. ME!”

I laughed again and got up, another flash of realisation as it hit me that we were both naked and didn’t even seem to notice, intimacy a strong point since Brno but now so normal that my self-confidence was sky high even when giggling and naked. “Ok, ok. Shower?”

He stopped at that, lips pursed and eyes wide, and then nodded. “Yeah ok that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Ok. Go and get it warm.”

“God I have to do everything round here…”

“I know.” I watched that perfect ass disappear and raised my voice so he could still hear me. “Some Moto3 riders would make their mother do all their washing, their girlfriend cook for them and go around after them picking stuff up…but _never_ Alex Marquez, right?”

I didn’t think he’d respond to that and he didn’t really, except to correct me.

_“Fiancé, Livi.”_

_Oh yeah._ I looked down at my hand and smiled, still wearing something after all. _We debut at dinner._

*

“You like me.”

She hadn’t been expecting a conversation after that point, and his fingers were clasped on the button, ready, waiting, making her desperate to think about something else to control herself if he insisted on talking. “What?”

“You. You like me, honestly?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth.” His hand let go and they both went around her again, resting on her hips, enough pressure for her to feel like she was being held onto rather than just there. “You like _me_ , or you like what I look like, or you like what I am?”

She frowned slightly at that and then shrugged slightly. “All three. In that order.”

“Hmm. Ok. And are you going to fuck me and run?”

_Oh so a bit of confidence back._ “I didn’t really think about it. This is a date, not a wedding.”

“Hmm. But I did.”

“I know.” She kept her eyes on his and leaned in for a chaste kiss. “I’m not promising anything past tomorrow, but…tonight, I won’t.”

“Won’t?”

“Run.”

“So you’ll stay? Or you’ll stay long enough to make me feel better and then run?”

_Ouch._ “I don’t make promises. But I won’t just get up and go after 5 minutes.”

“Ok. But it’s not a promise. I won’t die if you run off, I just wanted to know this time.”

“Ok.” She nodded and they stared at each other for a few seconds like board members over the table before she felt another shiver as his fingertips suddenly dug in. “Hmm. Is that lights out?”

He grinned and suddenly hoisted them to their feet, her legs wrapping round his waist, arms round his neck, kiss messy and wet and a lot more desperate than the first one, staggering for the bed. 

“Yessss.”


	50. Smokescreen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And again ♥

Dinner ended up me, Alex, Emilio, Santi, Julia and Roser, and a few other team guys from Moto3 and MotoGP, and Dani. He noticed first, somehow, from the other end of the table, and I saw his eyes catch the ring, flash with something, and then lock on mine, grinning, eyes now bursting with joy and _arggh really?!_ and then even more of all of that as I nodded and put my finger to my lips, no one else paying attention, the _shh_ temporary until they noticed. Alex noticed, as he seemed to notice even if I moved half a centimetre in any direction, and looked at me quickly, then followed my look and then grinned at his brother’s teammate. _YES. ENGAGED. WOO!_

I realised then that the _shhh_ and the original ‘see who realises’ plan were both going to be shortlived. Alex glanced back at me again, another little silent conversation, and I shrugged and nodded, readying for however he was going to say it.

“Ok…can I say something?”

I leaned in as everyone went quiet, realising something and hoping the whisper was low enough. “Marc’s not here. He’ll be pissed if you tell-“

“Marc’s not here, no. But that’s his own fault.” He said that normal volume and shrugged, smiling, turning back to everyone else and their _eh?_ faces. “We have something to announce…”

I studied Emilio and Santi and Roser and Julia as they shared a quick look with each other, thinking the face was probably because the serious way Alex had said it made it seem more likely that the next words out of his mouth were going to be _I’m going to be a dad!_. I grimaced internally at that and then bit my lip to not giggle. _Teasing people is fun. Sometimes. And I am kind of eating for two. Although God knows I already burnt it off-_ I took a little breath to try and stop that train of thought and then felt my hand grabbed.

“Nobody panic, there‘s no baby.” The youngest Marquez grinned at his manager and his mother and I giggled. _Same wavelength._ “But..there will be a wedding. Maybe soon, maybe in decades…but I asked and Livi said yes.”

There was a little short silence before a happy outburst of noise, Dani’s voice cutting through to my ears the clearest, congratulations echoing around us, Santi beaming and bear hugging Alex from the side, making me jealous, Emilio smiling knowingly and happily at his rider before Roser’s eyes found mine and I took another breath.

_You sure about this?_

I nodded back at her and felt my smile get even wider, maybe a bit of relief, as she got out her chair and walked around to behind us to grab us both in a hug, big kiss on both of our cheeks, beaming, Julia a reflection of his wife.

_And I get all of you in this deal, too._

We finished the meal, me and Santi went for a smoke, Alex had a little _now, son…_ chat with his parents, which they didn’t keep secret from me and I knew was no reflection on me, before Dani appeared outside and gave me a sideways smile as I passed him a cigarette.

“I fell and dropped my cigarette in your hand. Official story.”

He nodded and Santi grinned at us both, three little pillars of smoke disappearing into the darkness above us, and then I remembered what else was happening not too far away and felt a little pang of regret as he asked that exact question.

“Where’s Marc?”

“He has a date.” Santi wiggled his eyebrows and grinned, me glad he’d been the one to answer, straight up and normal and not giving me time to give away why that might hurt.

“Oh.” 

I took in the little nod and half smile, followed by him taking a _long_ drag and looking away, and tried to gauge it. _Not like before. Definitely not. Less casual. In all ways._

“Yeah, with Bea. Don’t think they’ll prove very compatible though.” _Please leave, Santi. Just right about-_ To my eternal gratitude he actually did, heavy smoker and faster smoker and done and dusted way earlier than me, disappearing back inside.

“Hmm. Don’t you?”

The difference between the show for Santi and the honesty now hit me slightly. _Ok so actually this does hurt._ I remembered what he’d said about it probably hurting more if Marc cared about someone, and realised he probably realised what I had before: she was the one who had left, and Marc had wanted her to stay. And now she’d said yes to an actual date. “No. I don’t.”

“Don’t…you know…give me false hope, ok?”

“Hey, I’m not.” I bumped his shoulder slightly with mine, pretty much the same height, and smiled at him. “I’m really not. I don’t…I mean, don’t think I’m being a bitch, but Bea isn’t that kind of person. When or if she settles down, I think it’s going to be a moment where she meets someone and _bang_ , it’s done. Until then, she’ll have fun.”

“Like you and Alex? The first part.”

“Hmm maybe? Although that was more, for me, a kind of slow, deliciously inevitable slide into suddenly being engaged to an 18 year old with no escape.”

“Ah ok. No bang…?” He raised an eyebrow and I giggled slightly, like a baby goat, biting my lip and trying to frown. 

“No, zero bang. Until Brno…then…bang bang bang bang bang-“

“Ok, ok. I get it.” He joined me in the laugh and then threw the cigarette butt down, looking away again. “It’s been a bit weird.”

_How did I become this trusted person in the middle._ “Weird?”

“Yup, weird. Me and Marc.” He shrugged to himself and glanced back at me. “Did he say anything to you?”

I felt my heartbeat ramp up as I desperately wanted to yell _yes he was fucking freaked out as fuck and that’s because it wasn’t that simple for him either_ , but managed to shrug slightly and water that down. “About you? Nothing specific.” _That’s true. That’s ok?_

“Ok.” He looked at me like he was well aware of what was going on and I found myself trying to pick a sentence out the mine field.

“He didn’t laugh it off.”

“Well I guessed that, given the state of him all day, and then that sudden switch after you talked to him.”

“Hmm…” _Stop it._

“It’s ok, I understand.” He nodded and gave me another knowing smile. “Makes me feel a lot more relaxed about my half of the secrets you’re keeping if you won’t talk.” 

_Deep breath._ “Good, I guess?” I smiled and then dropped the cigarette I’d kind of forgotten about, stamping on it and then sighing. “You know it’s ironic how well I stopped him freaking out when I need about 4 hours with Alex holding onto me like a baby to get over the tiniest thing.”

He shook his head and smiled again. “Nah, I think they’re not tiny things, and it’s always easier to give advice than take it, right?”

“I guess so. Especially that kind of advice, when you’ve lived through it.” I took a deep breath and went for it. “You know. You know, you remember that drunken conversation where I said that stuff about my past? Things I'd...tried and how it had... _confused_ me a bit?”

He looked at me like I’d been struck by lightning, or maybe that’s what he felt like. “Confused?”

“Hmm. That’s what I talked about to get him to calm down, so who knows…” I nodded back behind us at the door and started to go, trying nonchalance, aware I was hovering on the line, maybe way across it. _Please just...get me? I think you do._ “Make of that what you will?”

The guilt was terrible, but equally, I trusted Dani further than a steroid fuelled Soviet-era shot-putter could throw him, and the look on his face told me I'd done the right thing.

"Seriously."

"I didn't say anything."

"Ok..." The tiniest smile, before his hand grabbed mine and squeezed. "You actually didn't, so don't worry."

I looked back at him, paused ready to leave, and smiled as he held out his hand for another smoke. "Don't get addicted, Pedrosa."

"Too late..." He let that hang in the air between us and raised his eyebrows before lighting up, obviously not talking about that at all. "But thank you."

_Make of that what you will._ "Didn't do anything."

Another smile. 

"Of course not. I meant for the smoke."


	51. Witchcraft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a chapter of this story that actually belongs in this story... ;)
> 
> Sorry I posted the wrong one before! ♥
> 
> Enjoy?

“So…it went ok.”

Alex looked at me like I’d told him I’d set his bike on fire. “Ok?!”

“Ok..” I smiled at that and nodded, letting myself get pulled in, his phone discarded onto the side table and forgotten as only a naked woman seemed to be able to make him do. “Maybe it went well.”

“It went amazingly well.” 

I shivered as his fingers gently played down my back, aware of the hour and the practice the next day. “Stop it…”

“Not doing anything….”

“Don’t even try that face on me, Márquez.” I grinned at the second expression and then gave up, rolling over flat and putting my hands up. “Ok, I give up. 3, 2, 1…”

“Wow.” He grinned at me and then pinned me down, hard already, eyes dark and deliciously evil. “How romantic.”

“Yup.” I gave him a warning scratch over his back and smiled into the kiss as the copper of blood swirled around our tongues. _Ok then, this time’s like that._ “Always.”

*

_I slept with Marc Marquez._ She turned over to look at him again, asleep, incredibly beautiful in the low light, and then stared back at the ceiling. _Again._

It hadn’t been like before. Less alcohol, more care. Nothing like making love, but still…not the kind of drive thru experience she was used to, and used to wanting. _And I don’t actually regret it. Much._ He was good. From what she’d heard about the brother, it was down to the same thing – actually giving a shit about the other person and paying attention. But that wasn’t really it. He was also addictively, dangerously beautiful, had a laugh that could have made the KGB pack up and go home, and enough charisma to power a small Andalucian village for a century. 

_But he’s 93. He’s Jerez, and Phillip Island 2011, and Silverstone. He’s the one I know I don’t agree with._

She knew that sounded stupid to some people, but it was a genuine thing. Fan of Jorge Lorenzo because of who Jorge Lorenzo was. Admirer and fan of Marc Marquez too, anyone should and could be, but there was a line there somewhere with Marc that made her stop and shake her head. 

_But that’s on track. Right?_

Not being able to sleep was kind of normal for her when someone else was in the bed, or at least, someone she didn’t love or didn’t know well enough to not care. And she knew that was a bit weird, and didn’t really know why, whether it was just different, or whether it was some great, terrible paranoia about losing control when you sleep and wanting to know who was there to see that. In bed, at least. Planes, trains and automobiles were a different matter, public snoring no problem.

She watched him for a few minutes, so relaxed, lip slightly swollen, little noises humming across the pillow every now and then, and wondered how they’d ended up like this. He’d done exactly the same thing as at the party – nervous question _but really, don’t lie, did I actually make you- Oh! Ok_ , and then pulling her in and going for another kiss, different to those before, more in it, tongues playing and exploring, slowly, hands doing the same. No purpose, just because it felt good. And it had felt very, very good. And relaxing, weirdly. And then he’d not said anything else about it, steadfastly refusing to ask, and turned over and turned off the light, lips murmuring a goodnight against hers, breathing starting to relax as she replied and moved down the pillow slightly, pressing a kiss to his chest and letting out a nervous breath as his arm snaked around her. _Goodnight. Yes, I’m staying._

But now she was somehow a foot away again, not remembering moving too well, knowing it would have been her. And she watched for another few minutes, sighed, and then turned over, away from him, trying to get comfy and ignore him to at least get a bit of sleep.

“Hey.”

She started slightly at the noise and turned back, both voices soft and slightly hoarse from not being used for a while. “Hmm?”

“You leaving?”

“No.” She smiled at him through the dark, just visible enough, and shook her head. “Not leaving. Trying to get comfy.”

“Was I not comfy?” He smiled back and traced a finger down her arm. “..?”

_How do I…_ She shrugged slightly and then nodded, moving a bit closer, sighing before whispering across the pillow. “Sorry. You were. Don’t tell anybody but…I have massive mental issues.”

He grinned at that, shaking his head, arm back around her and pulling her closer, whispering the same way, eyes bleary but still bright. “Sorry to break this to you but _everyone knows._ ”

“Don’t.” Another grin. “You know what I mean?”

“Not really, no.” He moved another couple of inches closer. “But I want to, if you want to explain.”

_For some reason I am going to._ “I can’t sleep. Ever. When someone’s in bed with me. As in…you know, someone I don’t feel…comfortable enough with?”

“Oh. Ok..”

“Sorry…I mean…I like you, and I’m comfortable as in…the bed is good and the company is good, but…I’m not in love with you. And you’re not Livi, or my mum or something. You know?” 

“Hmm. I know what you mean. But I don’t share that.” He snorted a pantomime snore and then finally managed to get her back to where she’d been before, lips whispering a lot closer, feeling her giggle against his chest. “What can I do..?”

“Not sure you can do anything.”

“Hmm…sounds like giving up, to me.” He ran his fingers over her spine and pressed a kiss on her lips. “I don’t like giving up.”

_Jesus. He’s made of witchcraft._ “Me neither. But accepting the inevitable is different…”

“Hmm, it is.” The words were making everything around them vibrate slightly. “This isn’t that. Take a few deep breaths.”

“Hmm…”

“Just do it.”

She actually did, trying to relax, trying to stop her brain from whirring on overtime, and after a few minutes it suddenly seemed a lot better, not likely to sleep, but at least resting comfortably. “Go to sleep. You need it.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” He kissed her again and then shifted up the pillow slightly so she was resting more on his chest, another kiss into her hair, fingers gently running through it, feeling the effects in her breath. “See? Better.”

“Hmm…”

“Just relax, and go to sleep.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Positivity.”

“Ok.” She nodded slightly, fingers still gently going through her hair, impossibly, irresistibly relaxing, feeling the warning cries of _this is intimate! this is intimate!_ start to fade as he pressed another kiss in her hair, more and more intoxicated at the little things she was absolute not used to.

“Goodnight, again.”

_Goodnight._

This time, she beat him to it, and he was the one left awake a little bit longer, feeling himself moved ever so slightly as she breathed in and out, the moment one he’d never really experienced before like this, tangled up in someone and not caring if he got numb limbs whilst he was asleep. After a few minutes he dared to shift them slightly, more on his side, curled around her, feeling his heart fizz as she murmured at the movement, still asleep, and then moved in an inch closer, satisfied little _hmm_ humming through the air, moving to fit them together.

_Goodnight._


	52. He Fell First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥

“Morning.” She smiled down at him and leant in for a kiss. “Have a good day, be careful.”

“Hmm…”

“Marc?”

His eyes finally opened properly. “Hmm?”

“Thanks. It was nice.”

And then she was gone, and he was waking up more, realising what was happening, and groaning. _Typical._

7.12am. 

_It’s not like you have to be anywhere before me._

*

Qualifying was good. The weather was glorious, Dani and Marc ruled, and Alex set himself up well for the race, too. Bea seemed a bit strange, not as confident as normal and a bit quieter, but obviously nothing terrible so I left it for her to say if or when she wanted to, Marc not treating her as I would have expected him to if it had been a disaster during the few times they came into brief contact throughout the day. Dani was the opposite of her, like a rocket powered version of himself, no trace whatsoever of the conversation we’d had the night before. And Alex was being weird, but in that way that I’d come to realise meant _yes I’m hiding something but it’s something cool so don’t fuck it up_. So I didn’t try and find out, stayed patient, and then somehow, maybe proving quite how helpful it was to be under the wing of Emilio, we were having a late night moonlit picnic in the run off to T1. Maybe for most fiancés that would be a nightmare, but that was pretty much the coolest thing I could possibly imagine. 

“You talk to her?”

“Bea? No. You talked to Marc.”

“Hmm. She stayed…”

_Wow._ “She _stayed_?!”

“Yup.” He nodded and shrugged, passing me the wine bottle I was motioning at. “Left really early without much said, but she stayed…”

_“Make of that what you will.”_ All I could see in my mind was Dani. “Hmm.”

“Hmm?”

“Hmm…I don’t know…I guess wait and see?”

“Hmmm.” He mimicked the noise I’d made and then put a square of chocolate on his tongue, sticking it out and raising his eyebrows. “Wanna share?”

_You are an idiot._ I leaned in and nodded. “You’re an idiot.”

*

The Moto3 race the next day caused several people in and around the garage to have several heart attacks. Being so close to next door and the Miller garage was a bit awkward too, after what happened, and I looked at Marc and he looked back at me and then we seemed to countdown to asking what the other thought.

I said, “One dry line. Alex on it. Shouldn’t have tried the outside.”

He said, “Miller wouldn’t have moved either.”

Then we nodded, letting the tiny tiny hint of a smile appear at the corner of our mouths, aware what this could mean by the end of the race, and tried to not be too evil about it as we then watched the Fenati duel unfold, 20 points and the Championship lead in the bag, messy kiss in Parc Fermé, even messier hug that Marc got in on and squeezed us both to within a few seconds of death.

And Dani and Marc got off the line well, Lorenzo on the chase, astroturf causing casualties early on, leaving them free at the front, taking it in turns to scare everyone in the pits.

And then it rained.

*

By the time Aleix came in, me and Alex were both staring at the screen waiting for which would come in first. It didn’t seem to be an option anymore. Dani, or Marc? I reckoned Dani and Alex agreed, both thinking Marc would always take that extra bit of risk. 

But they stayed out, and again, and again, until finally Jorge was roaring into earshot and sparks were grinding up from the 26 emblazoned Repsol Honda as Dani skidded across the run off into Turn 1, leaving everyone in both sides of the garage wincing, breath held until he got up and seemed ok. He carried on and came in to change, in which time Marc had also managed to bin it coming out of Turn 2, pretty fast despite the fact it had seemed like he’d been doing 50mph for the last 3 laps, bouncing as he did, sprinting back to the bike, getting going again. Chasing the Mallorcan a minute up the road, nothing to be done.

And it hurt. Coming over the line, head in hands, smile and philosophical response after when he talked to the press. But it really, really hurt. Aragón was his favourite track, and he’d literally thrown it away.

It was a bit strange, going from the happiness of Moto3 to then both sides of the garage we were in being so muted and disappointed, and I eventually left Alex for a few minutes for a smoke, knowing exactly where she’d be and proved more than correct.

I poked her in the back and whispered it near her ear. “Congratulations Spartan, first win of the year!”

“Shhh! Won’t they throw you out?”

I smiled and shook my head, holding up my hand and the ring as though that was a paddock pass, which actually it kind of was. “Nope. Don’t think they’re in any kind of state to do much other than pack up and mope around.”

“Yeah I feel bad for them. I’m happy for the win, don’t get me wrong…but ouch. And here? Feels like Marquez town.”

“I know. It’s weird, because I can’t do anything. If that makes sense? Like I can’t just grab Dani and Marc and snuggle them better…”

“Well, you could…” She grinned and winked at me.

“Could does not mean should. I think snuggling would be too far.” _Speaking of which…_ I decided to leave that for later and took the offered cigarette. “So what are you doing now? Staying for the Rookies?”

She nodded and pointed across to the stand opposite. “Yup. I’m going out there with all the _public_. Urgh.” She grinned and then shrugged at my face. “Want to come?”

“Hmm..” _Yes._

“But…”

“But it feels a bit evil to not sit quietly and be sad.”

“Hmm. But…” She trailed off as she seemed to realise what she was going to say, shocking herself not easy, and I realised why a second later when she finally spit it out. “But…you know, they aren’t like that. You know…” Breath. “Marc was the one who fetched Santi after the black flag thing. Don’t dwell on it…”

I raised my eyebrows at that, getting a little nod and shrug in return, perfectly aware of what I was getting at, _a MARQUEZ example?!_ and then we escaped the paddock and headed out into the rain like the proper hardcore fans we used to be, getting back to the others looking like melted Joker figurines, that sight enough to crack a smile even on Marc’s face, obviously agreeing with my assessment of what we looked like since the first thing he said was _Why so serious?_

“Feeling a bit better now, then?”

“Hmm, yeah. Maybe..”

“So what’s the plan?”

“Home, later. Dinner here I think. Possible celebrations not cancelled but fucked. You’re coming?”

I nodded and gave Alex the finger as he walked in and exploded into giggles at what we looked like. “Well, actually, I don’t know now.”

“N’awwwwww.” The younger Marquez seemed to be on top of the conversation and grabbed me in a hug from behind, twirling me round and whacking a kiss on my cheek. “Sorry sorry sorry please??”

“Hmm. Ok. Sold.”

And then the awkward bit as Marc looked at Bea and waited, not pathetically hopeful but not nonchalantly shrugging either, and she shook her head. “Sorry. I’m off, now.”

“Right…”

“But thanks for everything.” She took a couple of steps forward and managed to kill the awkwardness with a kiss on the cheek that Marc returned on the lips, arm round her waist and giving her a squeeze.

“I guess…see you…whenever. If you need help sleeping.” He smiled slightly at the knowing flash of _this is intimate!_ as she blushed slightly, maybe because she knew that I would know exactly what that was about, and then it was gone again and she was walking away, me following, not looking at me so she didn’t have to answer the question.

“You stayed.”

“Yup.”

“Did he mean you couldn’t sleep?”

“No.” We reached the car and she blipped it open. “I slept.”

“You slept.”

“Yes, I did. I went to sleep wrapped around him with his fingers playing with my hair and it was pretty much like magic. Ok?”

_Ah yeah, of course._ “Right, of course.”

“Don’t.” She gave me a knowing look and then bit her lip to try and stop herself grinning. “Just don’t.”

I pretended to zip my mouth and smiled as she drove off, turning and walking back with my face titled upwards to the rain, too late to do anything but try and enjoy it, everyone dispersed again once I got back, Julia and Roser wisely leaving early, not many people left, just me, Marc, Alex, Dani, Santi…Emilio. The same few mechanics. Everyone that was usually there. That is, since Dani had wanted to be a part of it and realised socialising could be positive. And since Puig had left.

We headed for hospitality, no vibe to it except just _we need fuel please put some on some plates_ , not the kind of dinner we’d had on Friday, last task of the day hastily rearranged after the disaster. Not too bad, me on one end, Alex to my right, Marc to my left, Dani next to his teammate, both a bit downcast but not too bad, until the TV in the background showed Marc crossing the line, head in hands, then the crash, then Lorenzo crossing the line, finger in the air down at turn 1. 

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

He was gone before me, Alex and Dani really had chance to try and stop him, looking at each other as though trying to nominate the person to follow, for some reason me getting two nods towards the door and following him out. _This isn’t gay cuddle confusion this time, lads. I’ve not got a clue what to say._

“Hey.”

He looked back at me with a kind of knowing apathy, expecting someone to follow, not really sure whether that was good or bad. “Hi.”

“Sorry, I got nominated…”

He smiled slightly at that and did the same as at the party, taking my freshly lit cigarette with no question, giving me a cheeky little smile as I raised my eyebrows at him. “Nominated.”

“Yeah, I think everyone thinks I’m really good at talking to you, now.”

“Now?”

“After that time you cuddled Dani Pedrosa…”

“Ah, ok.” He went bright red but laughed anyway, shrugging slightly. “Not sure this is quite the same.”

“I know, but I couldn’t exactly explain that, so here I am. At least making you smile, which is good.”

“Hmm.”

“I would cuddle you but I think Alex would mind.” 

“That’s ok.”

We smoked in silence for a few seconds before I felt his mood drop again and bumped shoulders with him. “Hey. Where’s that black flag attitude? Hmm?”

“Hmm. I just…that was more important I guess, but this…I don’t know. I love this track. And after what happened last year…”

“I know.”

“Hmm.”

“Hug?”

“I thought cuddles were off?”

“Well…cuddles and hugs are different.”

“Hmm, tell that to Bea.”

_Ah._ I looked sideways at him and smiled slightly sadly. “Yeah, she, er…she doesn’t do cuddles to feel better, really. She’s more likely to watch Kill Bill and smash up her house with a samurai sword.”

He nodded at that and smiled, seeing how that could easily be true, and then shrugged. “Yeah well…just tonight, maybe it would have been nice to not just drive off.”

_Oooh dear._ “You know, I think I’d feel like you, too. But she’s…who she is. If it makes you feel better I don’t think she realised the scale of it, she was quoting you at me earlier. Black flag, taking Santi out…”

“Really?”

“Yup.”

“Huh.”

“So I think she thought you’d be all _jajajajajaja_ pretty quickly.”

“Hmm. Still…”

“I know, I’m not making excuses.”

“Ok. Maybe hug yes.”

I grinned at that and nodded, flicking the cigarette away and giving him a very good squeeze. “You know when you retire in millions of years, you’re going to be the king of Aragón. Don’t worry.”

“Hmm.”

“Honestly.” I tried to pull away and felt him cling on, shaking his head.

“Livi please can we just go for a walk or something or just…”

“Hey, shh.” I pulled away slightly, allowed to as I obviously wasn’t letting him go, and looked up at his face, the same crack in his voice I knew well enough from Alex’s. “What’s going on?”

“Shit day.”

“Yeah, I know. But…”

He shrugged slightly and pulled me back in. “I know. I don’t know.”

“I feel like I should go and get Alex.”

“You hug better.”

_Or Dani._ Who then appeared behind Marc, only visible to me, quite a way away but eyes going wide and concerned as he saw us, reading my _no I’m not sure either but he’s pretty upset_ facial expression perfectly. I pressed my lips against Marc’s ear for the privacy and gave him another squeeze. “Hey, someone came outside. You want to let me go for a few minutes and we’ll have another smoke and just take a break?”

“Hmm.”

“Come on, you’ll be alright. I’ll give you a clue…it’s the only other person who probably feels a bit like you do tonight.”

“Noooo.”

“No?”

“Too embarrassing.”

I squeezed again and shook my head. “He fell first…”

“Hmm. Maybe.”

“No, literally. Sparks flying, ass burning. Definitely fell first.”

“Ass burning?”

“Cheeks, ass…everyone had a shit day.”

“Hmm.”

“Right…now you’re taking advantage, Marc Marquez. I felt that squeeze.” I pulled away and grinned at him, definitely looking a bit brighter and a hint of cheek, and pulled him over to his teammate, sitting on the low wall next to Dani, Marc in the middle, me on the end. Another round of cigarettes, Dani even having brought a coffee outside that he shared with me, Marc not wanting any, and we gradually got the conversation going over the race without Marc trying to change the subject, Dani navigating their way through the ‘but if’, ‘if only’ that was pointless in the long run but seemed to at least confront the frustration, Marc’s arm then locking through mine, needing something to hold onto, another one of those moments for me that hit me straight in the chest at how I’d been let in, and I squeezed his hand and watched Dani notice, share a look with me that seemed to be grateful I was there and but mournful he wasn’t enough, and I waited another few minutes before Alex popped his head out and it was the moment I was waiting for.

“I’m going back in.” I squeezed Marc’s hand again and ruffled his hair slightly on the way past, passing the cigarette packet to Dani and smiling, not giving them a choice about whether they followed. “Look after him, yeah?”

*

“Am I being a shit brother?”

“No.” I squeezed his leg under the table and shook my head. “Don’t worry.”

“I get the feeling it’s not just about the race…?”

“Hmm, maybe. I think a combination…but at least Dani’s there now.”

“Yeah.” Alex nodded and then smiled at me. “You know it’s really weird how I can watch you holding hands with him and I don’t care?”

“Weird?”

“Yeah. I thought I’d be really jealous. Like…when you went outside before, the day after the party? I saw you hugging him from behind the chair and…it’s just nice.”

I wasn’t really sure what to say to that. “Well yeah obviously there’s nothing to be jealous about…”

“No, I know. But even watching you dance with Dani I kind of wanted to knife him. Slightly.”

“Just slightly mortally wound him.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and grinned and then leaned in for a kiss. “But I’m not jealous. I think that’s good? For a while I worried it was-“

“No, that’s good.” I cut him off and nodded. “I don’t think these things are about how much you care, they’re about how much you know I care. And you _know._ ” I held up my hand with the ring on it and smiled at him, nodding. “You know.”

“Yup. I do.”

“Good. Because I feel a bit left behind in the big gestures…so I have a plan. To hopefully make sure you know even more.”

“Oooh!” He grinned and nodded at Emilio for coffee, pouring mine first. _Gentleman._ “Is it soon? Any clues?”

“No clues, and it’s in…” I counted the days and hours. “Pretty much exactly 3 weeks not counting the time zone difference.”

“Phillip Island.”

“Phillip Island.”

“Ok, I’m intrigued.”

“Bring waterproof clothing and baby wipes…”

He looked at me for a second in horror before another massive grin, blushing slightly at what he wanted to say and stealing a glance at Emilio before I shook my head.

“No.” Another shake of the head. “Whatever you’re thinking, just no.”


	53. Just Feel Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 53 and no Tito...sorry :/
> 
> And title is a song by Santana ft Steven Tyler :) ♥

It was awkward for a few minutes, before Dani finally sighed and turned to him, having had enough of the way they were holding their breath and making small talk. “You know, we need to talk.”

“Talk?”

“Hmm. I think I need to admit something.” The older rider took a deep breath and tried to choose casual words. “I know why you’re being a bit weird. Because I woke up first.”

Marc felt his heart start to bang against his chest and tensed. “What?”

“Don’t, you know what I’m talking about. And I don’t want it to make things weird because I’m pretty sure we have the best teammate relationship on the grid. For years. And it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme, does it?”

Marc was silently paralysed. _What._ “You…you didn’t move...”

“No, I didn’t move. If I’d moved you would have known I was awake and I didn’t want it to be awkward. I thought if you woke up and thought I didn’t know, it wouldn’t be too weird. But it’s still a bit weird.”

There were a few seconds as Marc tried to decide which bit to reply to. “You think it’s weird?”

“I think maybe you’re a bit freaked out?”

“You’re not freaked out.”

“Nope, I’m not freaked out. I was comfy and drunk.”

“Me too. But it’s weird for you?”

“No, sorry. What I mean is, you’re still being a bit weird. After Misano, before the party…I came over and gave you a hug and it was completely normal. But I didn’t today, because I could just see you kind of…wary of me?”

“Oh.”

“Is that true?”

“Hmm. Maybe a bit?”

“But hugging Olivia is fine.”

“Yeah.” He said that like it was obvious and then started to explain before trailing off and praying Dani didn’t read anything into it. “There’s no…you know, risk of anyone getting the wrong idea…”

_The wrong idea. But there’s a risk with me?_ “Ok. Just wanted to say, really…don’t be weird.”

“Hmm. I’ll try?” _Even though everything is weird._

Dani nodded to himself and then took another deep breath. “So you’re not wary anymore?”

“No.” Slight smile.

“So I can do this?” The older rider snaked his arm round his teammate’s waist and squeezed. “Without it being weird.”

“Hmm.” Marc tensed for a few seconds before relaxing and leaning against him slightly, too much to resist, trying to keep it casual. “It’s not weird.”

“Good.” Dani squeezed again and they sat there for a few minutes before the younger rider took a deep breath and then turned to look at him.

“Where are you going, tonight?”

“I was meant to be staying in Barcelona.” _Oh great tense. Like I’ve already said yes._

“Were meant to be?”

“Well I’m guessing you’re about to ask me if I want to come back to Cervera to the now not-really-a-party…”

“Yeah, I am. United front in the face of massive, massive mistakes…?”

“Ok. On one condition, though. I am not sleeping on the sofa. I crashed and it hurts.”

“Well I crashed too.”

“Well then I guess Alex and Olivia will have to find somewhere else to sleep.”

Marc smiled at that and then nodded, shrugging, getting to his feet and pulling Dani up behind him. “I guess they will. But you’re telling her.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s very fair. You could tell her you’d killed 50 kittens and she’d still forgive you.”

“I like how you’re not bothered about your brother.”

“Nah.” The older Marquez held the door as he walked back in. “He’s the junior, that’s just tough.”

*

We got back to the restaurant/bar in Cervera in better spirits, Dani’s presence creating some looks of happy surprise because, as I was learning, Dani 2.0 was a very different animal to the one before, and a popular one. Except in press conferences, when he was definitely the least. But it was ok, we had a few drinks, nothing too much, chatting and going round the room, Alex beaming and telling every single person he could about the engagement, and then realising _oh my God I haven’t even tweeted it_ , as though events weren’t real until explained on social media, and we took a few photos that could have been a lot worse and he did finally press ‘tweet’ and then we watched the responses come in. Mostly good, some horrible as usual, now not bothering me at all. No Tito was a bit weird, but living in Almería meant Cervera was a big detour (I didn’t think about Geneva and that kind of detour), but eventually we were piling into some taxis and heading back to the house, me and Alex and his parents in the first, Marc and the others in the second, childhood friends getting a lift most of the way home. 

And then, when we got out and paid and Roser was opening the door and the other car pulled up, I realised we still had the baby Samurai, and that the invite had been more than _come to the party_ , and Julia and Roser didn’t bat an eye at the 3 time World Champion following _their_ 3 time World Champion into their living room, the others walking home from Casa Márquez, hour late and everyone now quite tired, parents vanishing to bed, and everything almost exactly the same as the party except that no one was that drunk.

Me and Alex had the same sofa, they had the same sofa. No one mentioned sleeping arrangements. We watched the first half of a movie, I fell asleep, and then woke up at the top of the stairs with a little yell as I panicked at moving, being carried unexpectedly, Alex then giggling and a weary _shhhh_ echoing into the hallway from his parents’ room, us looking at each other in an _oops!_ and then giggling again once behind his closed door.

“Sorry, I was confused.”

“Yeah apparently.” He grinned and rubbed his ears. “It sounded like you’d been run over.”

“Pffff. It was a feminine yell, ok?”

“Hmm…” He grinned and then flipped the light off, leaving me vulnerable to attack from all directions, which is where the attack came from. “Shhh!”

“I’m trying.” I bit my lip as his hand pushed under the waistband of my jeans and tried to try harder. “I’m _really_ trying…”

*

It took Dani and Marc about 45 minutes to realise Dani hadn’t actually said anything, and that everyone else was now asleep or un-disturb-able, turning to look at each other with an annoyed face, more beer drunk, everything normal, slightly leaning on each other. “Fuck.”

“Your fault.”

“My fault? It was your job.”

“Yeah. You didn’t remind me.”

“Oh, I see. Fine.” The younger took another swig of beer and then shrugged, avoiding Dani's poke of blame. “Well it’s your fault, so you’re having the sofa.”

“I knew you’d be a shit host.”

“Me?! Pfff.” Marc grabbed the beer out his teammate’s hand and then shrugged. “I’ll have this back then.”

“Oh that’s how it is?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“A bottle of beer doesn’t make a good host.”

“4. But what does?”

“Well…in Geneva, you do things properly. Wine, dinner party, nibbles. You know, middle class things that everyone pretends they like, with shit music on in the background.”

“Ah ok, that makes sense.” They grinned at each other before Dani caught on and narrowed his eyes.

“What?”

“Explains a lot. I didn’t realise I had Mr International here.”

“I’m so international, I speak bad French.”

“I speak amazing French. From Moulin Rouge. So voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”

_Definitely not weird anymore, then._ “I thought you were having the bed.”

“Yeah, I am. And I’m a bit drunk, and I’m tired and in some pain, and apparently I don’t have to worry about you jumping me in the night, so whatever. It’s a big bed. I’ll build a pillow wall down the middle if you think I’m gross.” _What the fuck am I saying._

“Seriously.” _Seriously._

“I don’t care. I want to go to sleep and I don’t want to sleep on the sofa but I don’t want to feel bad for making you sleep on the sofa either.” _Or sleep on my own and both on the sofa isn't going to happen._

Dani studied him for a second, everything seeming to be just that, practicality, and then nodded. “Ok. If you promise you won’t be weird.”

“Promise.”

“And promise you won’t tweet pictures.”

“Promise.” Devilish grin. “Probably…”

_He offered. In a normal way. Remember that._ “Ok, then.”

“Right.” Marc nodded, happy with that outcome, and pulled them up. “One more drink and the last cigarette in the packet and let’s go to sleep, and wake up tomorrow ready to win the next fifty races.”

Dani nodded and followed him outside, sharing the cigarette, and the beer, both maybe now a bit more intoxicated than they’d thought, trying not to giggle too loudly, and then the older rider pillaged his bag for toouthbrush and stuff to sleep in, headed for the bathroom, and then somehow found himself paused outside the door of Marc Marquez’s bedroom, ready to go in and join him in the bed. _What am I doing._ He stood there a few seconds, breath suddenly fast and nervous, before the beer took over again and he pushed it open, walking in and finding him asleep, already, one arm under the pillow, facing the empty side of the bed. Breathtaking. _Jesus._ The older rider tiptoed across the room and gently got in, thankful Marc had gone for the same alpinestars t shirt idea, no skin, and then winced slightly as the sleeping figure murmured and his head popped up. “Oh. Sorry…”

“S’ok.” He smiled up at him and nodded. “Sorry I fell asleep.” He struggled up slightly and turned away to grab the light pull, turning it off and then moving back to how he’d been before, that possibly the worst option as Dani just wanted him to turn over and ignore him or suddenly confess he felt anything at all and close the distance. But neither happened for a few minutes, and Dani felt himself start to relax a bit more, enough space for it to be completely innocent, eventually ending up facing Marc on his side, watching him sleep, or watching him try and sleep, he wasn’t really sure, until a few more quiet words whispered across the pillows.

“I really fucked up today.”

“Hmm?”

“Sorry, were you asleep?”

“No.” He shifted down slightly so they were more eye to eye and felt his heart fizz as Marc’s eyes opened and met his. “I fucked up, too.”

“Yup. But…I kept going. You crashed, and I knew you had because I saw you go in the corner of my eye, and I still went round again. What the fuck was I thinking?” Eyes closed again.

“Same as me…not so many laps left, worth the risk…”

“But it was so fucking wet.”

“Yup, and we fucked up.”

“So badly that the guy who came 13th in the last wet race beat us both.”

“Yup. Although to be fair he did win Le Mans in the wet by like…17 seconds, once.”

“Hmm. Still.” _You remember that?!_

“I know. You’re not normally like this?”

“Hmm?”

“After a mistake. What’s wrong?”

“Hmm…I think the pressure." He went quiet for a few seconds as though trying to decide how far to go before sighing. "This year…especially after the first wins and everything…I just…I don’t know. It feels more and more like people don’t realise that I’m not indestructible and it makes me feel so desperate to prove them right.”

_Ah._ “Nobody’s perfect.”

“Not even me?”

The tone was the furthest from arrogant, all the tabloid screaming shot down at once. “Nope. You’re good, but we’ll chase you down again eventually.” He watched Marc smile at that and nod, and then felt everything tense as a hand found his.

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to make it weird, but can I do this?” He moved over slightly until his head was under his teammate’s chin, nestled close enough for Dani to put his arm around him if he chose to but not so close that it was definitely, definitively sexual.

_This night is going to ruin me._ The older rider nodded against his head and took a deep breath, trying to remember how to find oxygen, and then sighed, giving in, arm going around him, pulling him in and hair standing up on the back of his neck at the satisfied _hmmm_ that murmured back at him. “Like I said before, I wasn’t freaked out.”

"Hmm. I'm sorry."

"Why."

"Sorry for being...whatever."

"Don't be sorry." Another deep breath, another massive leap of faith, and another adjustment of how close they were, Dani shifting to make them both comfier, they way the younger rider's body curved against his and seemed to fit making him flash white hot, desperately desperately hoping he was far enough away at least below the waist to hide the physical reaction. _Because that would definitely be weird._ "Just feel better."

"Hmm. Goodnight, Dani." He gave his teammate a squeeze and then almost nuzzled into his chest, realising and catching himself. "Sorry..."

_No, please carry on._ "Stop apologising and go to sleep." He dared to ruffle Marc's hair slightly and squeezed back. "Tomorrow will be better." _Or my worst nightmare, and the day after we broke everything._


	54. Don't Mention The-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok now I think I have to leave you hanging a while, I'm moving on again ♥
> 
> Tomorrow I think I'll be back? We shall see. But thank you! ♥

“ALEX WAKE UP I NEED TO KILL YOU.”

It was one of those rare days when I was awake first. This time, to go to the bathroom, thus stepping on a _piece of upside toast with jam on_ that must have been there at least four days.

“Hmm…”

“NO. NOW OR IT’S GOING ON YOUR FACE.”

He suddenly curled up kind of like he had when Marc had blasted him with the horn and then pulled the covers up, peeking over. “Is it bad?”

I picked up the toast and wagged it at him. “It could be worse but I DON’T WANT JAM FOOT. EVER.”

He stared at me for a second, the genuine, incredibly strong anger I’d felt at first now fading into something bordering on hysterical giggles, and then ducked under as he saw it start to head towards him. “Nooooo!!! SORRY. Sorry sorry sorry sorry please…”

“I SHOULD DO IT.” I grinned at him as he peeked again and then whacked it into the bin, him flinching. “But I won’t because your face is too adorable.” I sat back on the edge of the bed and wiped the jam off onto a tissue, that then heading into the bin too. “But you are emptying that bin, today. And I am going to start house hunting.”

He nodded and closed his eyes again, safe from attack, and pulled me back in. “Yeah, single bed is getting annoying. Plus I really want to fuck you properly. Noisily.” Massive grin.

“I like how you say that so casually.”

“Well…yeah…” He opened one eye and trained it on me before grinning again. “That’s what it’s called, right?”

“No, I’m offended. It’s lovemaking.”

“Oh, sorry. Of course.” He giggled as I tickled him and then inevitably got the upper hand and had to jam his hand into my mouth to shut me up, extreme ticklishness one of my many useful skills.

 _Also I like the ‘I need to start househunting’, ‘yes you do because I need these things’._ I finally got left alone and kissed again, messy and gross but wonderful at the same time, and then sighed reasonably happily, despite still needing the bathroom. “I really hope everyone else is awake.”

“Hmm, they are now.” 

*

“So, are you going to mention it or am I?” Roser smiled at her husband across the kitchen and took his empty mug as he passed it over.

“What? To be fair this time wasn’t too loud-“

“No, not Alex.” She gave him a knowing look to agree with the point and then rinsed the soap off the mug. “2 World Champions were in our house last night. Alex and Olivia have a single bed.”

Julia felt his eyes widen as he realised that was true, mouth opening slightly and then closing as he had no idea what to say. “Well…”

“Well?”

“Marc and Tito used to sleep together all the time.” He went red and backtracked, both giggling to themselves. “You know what I mean.”

“I do, darling.” She pecked him on the lips and then sighed. “And your red face seems to tell me that you know what I mean, too.”

*

Me and Alex made it downstairs to find a lonely Julia reading the paper, smiling and nodding at us, trying to ignore the way Alex pinched my ass on the way through to the kitchen, then shouting about fresh coffee and rolling his eyes to himself as the inevitable morning squabble started, breakfast something that we never got quite in sync, me wanting to leave the cereal to go soggy, Alex thinking that was a crime against humanity, sometimes there wasn’t the right flavour yoghurt, sometimes there wasn’t quite enough of whatever we both wanted and we had to share which we did because we were nice but also secretly both got very bitter about and there was a 3-4 minute post-breakfast Cold War.

No Marc or Dani, nothing said. I didn’t think Alex had really thought about it, but I had. I’d thought about it the second I’d come downstairs to see one Spanish man reading the paper, apparently not traumatised by finding his son and _his_ teammate curled up on a sofa together. _So there’s only one place they can be, really._

Julia went out shortly after, leaving me and Alex flat out on the sofa, flicking around shit daytime TV until we were a bit more awake, the plan then to go for a run. It reached 930am, and then finally the toilet flushed upstairs and I held my breath slightly. _Someone’s going to come running down here with a red face in 3, 2, 1…_

But they didn’t. I kept waiting, but there was the sound of the sink, the bathroom door opening, then closing, footsteps across the hall, back into the bedroom, door closed.

I realised Dani must have left, or Marc must have woken up super early and also left, at least temporarily, maybe out for another casual half marathon to Kamchatka and back to burn off the weirdness. 

And then there were _voices._

I looked at Alex and tried to gauge his reaction, him paying no attention at all, face disgusted by something, which by looking at the TV I realised was whatever kind of weird insect this show was about, head tilting to the side to try and figure out what it was, nothing to say he’d even spared a thought for any of the fact that Dani was apparently in bed with Marc.

I was about to bring it up when my phone vibrated and we both jumped slightly, my pocket close enough to him as well for him to get a little fizzy shock, and then read the message and bit my lip. _Oh my God._

Marc: _We’re injured and we need coffee. Please Miss Livi?_

Dani: _We’re injured and we need coffee. Please Miss Livi?_

To Marc and Dani: _You’re not injured and I’m not a waitress_

Dani: _PLeasseeeeee?? *puppy dog eyes*_

To Dani: _It’s cruel to use you to communicate._

Dani: _Jeje ;) did it work?_

To Dani: _Yes it worked and I want a full puppy dog eyes show when I bring them up. Ok?_

Dani: _Cool. Clothes on or clothes off?_

To Dani: _Just stay as you are…? ;)_

Dani: _Clothes on then :P just sleep happened here :)_

To Dani: _Ok :P on the way._

Marc: _Thank you ♥_

To Marc: _Flirting and grovelling only works for Dani :P_

Marc: _Then get my fucking drink here right now_

I knew my laugh was loud enough to have been heard and there was an equal and opposite _jajajajaja_ from upstairs before I pulled myself up and poked the still hypnotised Alex. “Baby…baby…”

“Hmm.”

“Look at me. Don’t worry, they’re in the TV. They can’t hurt you.”

He grinned and whacked me on the leg slightly. “They’re just gross.”

“Hmm…I’m making coffee and waitressing it upstairs. Want another?”

He smiled at me and shook his head, eyes immediately back on the screen. “No thanks I’m fine but if you look back left of the cupboard there’s an old skool Pedrosa mug.”

I stopped and turned back, wondering if that was for me and my fangirling or because of what I thought it meant. “Hmm?”

“What?” He looked back and frowned. “For Dani. There’s an old HRC mug at the back of the cupboard.”

 _Right then. Second option._ “Dani’s upstairs…”

“I imagine so since Marc is talking to someone and my parents went out…?”

“Right…”

“Plus I know you know so stop being weird. Tito’s slept on top of Marc millions of times, including one time we don’t talk about when Tito and Tito’s bad stomach slept on Marc. All over Marc.”

I giggled at that and nodded, fair enough. “Right, ok. On top of him?”

“Drunk Tito…he kind of leeches on and then goes to sleep.”

“Ah, ok.” I studied him again, still not really paying attention to me, and nodded. _Right._

“Plus I know you were texting Dani.” He looked up again and grinned, prodding me in the leg. “Because you go all gooey.”

“GOOEY?!”

“Gooey.” He nodded and smiled into a kiss before trying and failing to pinch my ass again on my way out, never going to happen given that he was refusing to move from the slouch. “It’s disgusting.”

“Fuck off.” I yelled that over my shoulder and then made the coffee, dodging round his attempts at sabotage to get to the bottom of the stairs and then starting the climb, wondering how this was going to go.

I knocked on the door and then gently kicked it open, maybe not as gently as I could have done since there was a _fuck!_ from one of them as it slammed open. “Sorry…coffee?”

“Ohhh yeahhhhh.” Marc, grinning and rubbing his hands together.

“Thank you.” Dani, always good manners. Puppy dog eyes promised and delivered.

“You’re welcome. Happy birthday.”

He blushed and smiled. “Thanks…”

“Yeah I remember, sorry…but this year I don’t have to tweet you!” I ruffled his hair and then took in the sight before me, finally managing to grin at them. “Morning. Sleep ok there?”

“Hmm. Good. What did you step in?”

“Eh?” I put the mugs down on the bedside table, bed against the wall and Dani nearest the edge, and smiled as Dani passed one across to Marc, both the same ‘order’ and somehow knowing that.

“This morning you yelled and I thought you were going to kill him.”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry. Jammy toast.”

“Ew…”

“I know. But even worse is that it’s got to be from before the race, so it’s old jammy toast.”

“Ewww again.”

“I KNOW.” I grinned and then motioned at the set up they had going on, mouth ahead of sense and eyes widening. _Just don’t mention the-_ “So…who was on top?”

There was a moment on both of their faces when I thought I’d judged it completely wrong for the first time in the company of either, a combination of blue murder, blind panic and _extreme_ red-facedness, but then Marc, of the two the one I wasn’t expecting, threw a pillow at me and pointed at the door, laughing and shaking his head, eyes rolling slightly, muttering a knowing _fuck off_ at me, not worried by it at all, awkwardness vanished as quickly as the thunderbolt moment that had brought it, them going back to _jajaja_ and normal chatter before I’d even made it to the top of the stairs.

“Nice try. We’ll call you for refills.”

I made it mostly to the bottom before stopping and silently screaming to myself. _GUYS._ I was about to bolt for the garden and my phone before I realised the one person I would normally have trusted with this was the person who’d been in his bed the night before.

I chain smoked half a packet and wondered how I was still able to do that – switch it on and off and not care about having one or not – before Alex’s head popped out and he pointed at his wrist, no watch there but point made.

“10k. Easy day…” He grinned at my groan and nodded. “Easyyyy day.”

“You know when I’m dying, later tonight…”

“Yeah…”

“Will you look after me and pretend you still like me even though I can’t walk?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, just checking.” I ran upstairs to change and paused as I heard the conversation from Marc’s room.

_“…and I don’t really know, I mean…I’m worried I’m just a bit pathetic because I need like…an Olivia…”_

_“An Olivia?”_

_“Yeah, you know…just, someone who has my back…”_

_“I think she has anyway, you know. Not many almost sisters-in-law put as much effort in as her.”_

_“I know. I know…she keeps saving my ass.”_

_“Hmm me too. Sometimes, anyway. Lucky for us, Alex deals with her so the whole mess keeps working.”_

_“Jaja true. You like her?”_

_“Yes, I like her. 10 years ago I might have loved her.”_

_“Woah there. Jaja. I was going to say ‘same’ but then I would have been 11, so…”_

_“Jaja. Don’t go there…”_

_“Where?”_

_“Remind me how old I am, again.”_

_“Nah, it’s ok. Doesn’t make much difference if you’re not a complete dick, does it?”_

_“What a great way to put it.”_

_“Shut up I’m tired and I ache.”_

_“Pff I know. But again, I’m in more pain. I’m old.”_

_“You are. And I promise there is actually a birthday card downstairs somewhere…”_

_“It’s ok, I got offended and a free coffee. I’m 2-0 up and it’s not even half time.”_

_“Jaja. Shame about Rufea. That would actually have been worth…”_

I took a deep breath and pulled myself away. _Thank you and bless you but also...ARGH._

*

A Lil Bit Earlier

“Ah…morning…”

The younger rider opened his eyes, slightly sheepish, and then felt himself relax as Dani smiled at him and then let it turn into a full grin. “Morning. Alive?”

“Noooooooo.” Marc shook his head and buried his face in the pillow, now further apart and more normal sleeping positions. “No no no no.”

“Weird?”

A little nod, still buried.

“Ok.” _Deep breath._ “Well you have two choices…”

“Hmm…”

“One, either stop being such a princess…or let it ruin today and maybe more.”

“Hmmmm.” Muffled, still. “It cnt rruu tdayy.”

“What?” The older rider poked him in the back and grinned at the yelp.

“I said…” He pulled himself up and stared at his teammate, eyes locked together, hair ruffled, squinting at him slightly, letting himself smile and blush. “It can’t ruin today. Happy birthday.”

 _You remembered._ Dani looked at him for a few seconds, nobody moving, and then smiled, nodding. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Marc sat up properly and stretched before plonking himself back down and shaking his head. “Nope.”

“Nope?”

“Nope. I was going to go and get coffee but nope.”

“Creaky?”

“Yup.” He nodded and then grabbed his pillow to stuff on Dani’s face as he leaned over to grab his phone, grinning at the splutter that created. “I’ll text for room service.”

“Just for one I guess if I’ll be dead.”

“I can always drink yours, its ok.”

The grinned at each other again before finally getting the order sorted and relaxing back down, both staring up at the ceiling. “I think Rufea is cancelled.”

“I agree.”

“So what can we do until my flight?”

“Lie here and make Livi bring us things.”

“Works for me.”

They turned to look at each other again before Marc suddenly found himself darting forward to peck his teammate on the cheek, quick and not thought through and making him panic absolutely, locking eyes after, trying to stammer out _happy birthday_ again and then saved from the moment as the door banged open and the coffee was steaming in.

_Oh my fucking God why did I do that._


	55. I, The Great Dani Pedrosa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much guys!
> 
> Amazing to log back in and see responses and kudos and everything!! ♥ sorry for the wait!

We got back at 1130 and there was still no sign, although someone had obviously been down for food since everything in the kitchen was slightly messier, in that _Marc has been in here_ kind of way, and I imagined that, despite his slightly spoilt reputation, he had probably bothered to be the one to get food since it was Dani’s birthday, so the tracks were fresh Marquez. The older rider’s flight back was at 430, I knew that, and the evening was meant to be a meal in Geneva with his friends. Until then, though, he was apparently going to stay in Cervera, in bed with his teammate, eating God knows what kind of charcoal briquettes Marc had managed to create with the toaster.

With Julia and Roser still out, it took all of 3 seconds for me and Alex to decide we were going to shower together, that opportunity rare, and we thought we’d done a great of job of being quiet enough to not completely embarrass ourselves until we were dried off and clothed again, walking back into the living room to Marc doing his best impression of me, them apparently now downstairs. On one sofa. 

“ _Oh Alex…Oh….Oh…_ ”

“FUCK OFF.” I knew the colour of my face was more purple than even red. “Please...”

“ _Ohhh…..oh…Ohhhhhh…_ ” 

I stopped in front of him to attack him physically and then found myself starting to smile. _Ha. Actually…_ “Yeah, what of it?”

He faltered slightly and looked at me, realising where I might be going with it and already going pink. “Wh…”

 _Yeah, exactly._ “I don’t fake.” I grinned and blew a kiss at his brother. “So if you’re not used to hearing that…” I bent down so our faces were close and grinned at the bright burning red I was now looking at. “Maybe you should try harder.”

Dani giggled from the other side of the sofa, blushing slightly, taking a swig of coffee and resolutely staring at the TV. _“Burrrn.”_

I did feel quite cruel. And I did have to repair it slightly. But it was very satisfying.

“Did…I mean…did Bea say-“

“No.” I dropped the evil face and kissed the top of his head. “I’ve not talked to Bea about you. I don’t like talking about that stuff, anyway. Mostly.”

Now Alex’s head popped out round the door from the kitchen. “Mostly.”

“Mostly. I had to answer a few questions, most of which were just ‘yes, really.’ Or ‘yes, every time...’” 

He went a bit red and disappeared again, grinning and smug as hell, before I looked back down at Marc and mirrored his pout. “For what it’s worth, she’s the kind of girl who will turn all the lights up bright and stop you if you’re not doing it right…”

“Hmm. She didn’t do that.”

I nodded and winked at him before heading for the kitchen. “I know that much, _baby_ champ…”

*

The plan had been Rufea on Dani’s birthday, but we ended up going for lunch instead, somewhere in the middle of nowhere that was amazing, private, and delicious, all piled into Marc’s car like a strange champion’s school trip, me and Dani ending up in the back, actually holding hands for a couple of miles in terror at some of Marc’s driving, Alex’s knuckles similarly white on occasion, before we arrived unscathed and got a table in the garden terrace area, me still smoking sometimes, Dani and Marc having the odd drag, Alex still the only saint. We ate and talked and laughed and had the kind of outdoor sunny lunch that they sell in clichéd thousands to couples planning to retire to Spain. Fields, sunshine. Great food. Wine for everyone except Alex, who had managed to convince Marc he should drink since he’d crashed the day before _don’t worry it’s fine not a problem honestly I’ll drive home please please have some wine_ , and was visibly more relaxed knowing the rollercoaster was over, the knowledge his brother would not be controlling the car stronger than the 13% we were getting through a bit too quickly. And we sat how we always seemed to now, me and Alex opposite Dani and Marc, brothers facing each other, me facing Dani. And watching him. And how he looked at Marc, and how sometimes Marc looked back at him. And how it would have seemed to everyone if they hadn’t been P1 and P2 in the MotoGP World Championship. 

We all decided to go to see Dani off at the airport, Alex driving again, obviously I would choose the car journey with my fiancé and my hero over 2 hours in a house with Marc making me fetch him things, and so older Marquez came along too, which got a lot of _oooh! Look!_ in the airport, Repsol Honda plus baby Babychamp plus random woman in Nicky Hayden t shirt, just to confuse everyone. And I hugged him, and Alex hugged him, and Marc hugged him for a tenth longer, although no one really noticed, then we headed back to the car and got in it and drove away, and my brain finally translated what I’d half heard one Repsol whisper to the other.

_Not going to say anything about that-_

_No._

_Ok. See you in Japan._

_Happy birthday._

My fingers hovered over the keys before I gave in.

To Dani: _Something happened didn’t it?_

It took a few minutes but it came.

Dani: _You mean in the bed?_

To Dani: _Yup._

Dani: _Not really. He went to sleep quite quickly._

To Dani: _Where?_

Dani: _Head on my chest._

To Dani: _You know you should just tell him?_

Dani: _No! I hinted at some stuff a bit anyway and he was :O but I got a happy birthday peck on the cheek, and that is more than enough :) He won’t be interested in hugging me once he’s back on the top step, anyway!_

To Dani: _Disagree._

Dani: _Be realistic. He’s just had some bad races._

To Dani: _I could say the same thing, and it’s more than that._

Dani: _Hmm…other problem…your friend is a beautiful woman (and she’s taller ;))_

To Dani: _Yup, and she really likes him. That bit I don’t know about._

Dani: _To be fair I don’t think Marc does either. But anyway, whatever. Thanks for everything :) see you soon…you and Alex (+ Marc? idk) should come to Geneva. (although you will have to be a bit less noisy in the shower)_

To Dani: _ARGGHHHHHHHHHHH ;)_

Dani: _Too cringe?_

To Dani: _Jejeje no, we brought that on ourselves ;) (sorry!) it’s just….YOU’RE DANI PEDROSA_

Dani: _Ah ok. YES! I, THE GREAT DANI PEDROSA, WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO MY HOUSE._

To Dani: _ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

Dani: _Right boarding now, shhhh :P_

To Dani: _Ok. Have a good birthday, and a good flight, and generally just :D_

Dani: _I will! Bye bye! :*And delete these messages please?_

To Dani: _Already done. xx_

*

“So you’re just going to ignore that-“

“Yes. Please?”

“Ok.” _If it makes you uncomfortable that means it’s more than just a split second, right?_ “Now are you going to fetch food or me?”

“Hmm…” Marc snuggled back down under the covers, top half of his face the only thing visible, and gave the best puppy dog eyes he could. “Up to you?”

“Nah I just wondered how rude you were going to be.” He grinned and suddenly yanked the sheets off his teammate. “Go and get me food. It’s my birthday and my crash was faster.”

Marc turned over and buried his head under a pillow. “Noooooooooo.”

“Seriously.”

“Noooooo…”

The older rider dared to poke him in the side. “I thought Alex was the lazy brother.”

There was another muffled something that Dani deciphered as _he was but then he got Olivia boot camp_.

“Boot camp? So if I yell at you enough you’re saying a Marquez is trainable?”

“No, I’m too wild.”

 _Sometimes you make it too hard to just…not._ “And wild is hiding under a pillow is it?”

“Hmm.” A nod moved said pillow before the middle finger nearest Dani popped up. “Fucking crazzyyy.”

“This is awkward.”

_why._

“Because if you weren’t you I’d normally just pull your boxers down.” _Too far?_

There was a muffled gasp before both Marc’s hands smacked onto his ass, protecting said boxer shorts and giggling into the pillow. “Nooo!”

 _Even if I was 17, that was cheesy flirting. And you’re just laughing along._ “Ha. Well…I’m not going for food, on principle.” He left it a few seconds and then smiled to himself as Marc sighed and sat up.

“Right, _fine._ Toast?”

 _Winning is always fun._ “Please…”

“Right…” Another sigh, a badly concealed grin, and then the best ass on the grid disappearing out the door and down the stairs, returning with toast, eating that watching a repeat of the same insect horror that had hypnotised Alex, then both dragging themselves downstairs once the shower noise started, Marc then suddenly stopping as something hit him, trying to brush it off, Fifa incredibly interesting all of a sudden once he’d realised and gone pink.

“Wait.”

“Hmm?” _It really took you this long?_

“You said…normally.”

 _Yes I did._ “When?” Dani frowned as though he had no idea and then shrugged.

“Before. You said _normally I’d just pull your boxers down._ ”

“Oh, yeah? Just joking. And it worked.” _Nonchalance._ “Why?”

 _YOU AND THE PERSON IN BED WITH YOU WEARING BOXER SHORTS CAN BE A ‘NORMALLY’?!_ “No reason.” _Dani Pedrosa. DANI PEDROSA. Saying-_

"You know...I mean...you _know_ , right? That I'm..." Dani looked at him trying to decide whether he did or not before the moment was gone again and Alex walked in, Marc left 4-0 down after a while, brain whirling and slight red hot panic back, the kind that had left him running for the hills quite literally after the party.

 _DANI PEDROSA. BOXER SHORTS? DANI PEDROSA_.


	56. Glitter in the Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song by Pink :) romance and fluff turned up to 11. 
> 
> Thank you, again. ♥ Hope you like!

We dropped Marc off at the house on the way back and then made it into the estate agents before they closed, Alex driver but then also, surprisingly, a very sensible house hunter, keeping me in budget despite temptation [pool] and setting up a sensible route to look at places the day after, everywhere in or around Cervera, which actually only filled me with excitement and the nagging paranoia of being too invested too early had started to fade. Then we took all the details leaflets back to the Marquez house and sat at the table going through them, Julia and Roser back and sharing glances that fell somewhere between horrified, happy and proud, Alex still the sensible one, both of us realising after we’d whittled it down to a few options and cancelled a few of the appointments that the vast majority had two bedrooms. He didn’t bring that up and neither did I, but we had a quick look that said more than enough before he squeezed my hand and smiled to himself.

_And you’re letting me be part of it._

I’d realised that, too.

“You know…obviously I said I didn’t think we should move in together…”

“Yeah…”

Both of us looking down at the table pretending we weren’t paying much attention.

“Well…I think…I said maybe 4 or 5 nights a week, right? How about we say all of the time, but if I say ‘ok, tonight, I want to be on my own…’, you don’t get offended, and you come back here.”

He grinned to himself just in the corner of my eye and then nodded as though he was casually fine about it. “Sure, if you want. And no jam foot.”

“Yeah.” I took a deep breath and nodded, grinning. “I mean…we’ve spent a while here now, with even more people around, and sleeping in a single bed. And I’m not used to it…”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t feel like I need to escape. And I’m not used to that. But…I need you to really mean it, ok? That it’s not going to cause problems if I say-“

“It won’t. I promise.”

“Promise.”

We finally looked at each other and he grinned again. “I promise, absolutely. Ok?”

Another deep breath. “Ok.”

And then he was moving all the papers out the way and leaning over for a kiss, slightly smug, maybe kind of knowing that was coming, lacing our fingers together and pulling my hand to his mouth.

“We might need the spare room, though.”

I started to panic again before he grinned and nodded in the direction of the slouching brother, hidden Marquez on the sofa behind us. “No, for him.”

_Ah. Ok. And maybe Bea. Or Dani. Or, apparently, both, on a rota system._ “I can deal with that.”

*

I’d considered buying, but then it seemed a bit unnecessary, and would take longer. So I put mine on the market or started doing that, knowing I was going to have to go back there before Motegi at some point to make it presentable, and then we spent Tuesday going round options, the morning pointless and annoying since nowhere was right, and then finally pulling up to something scarily similar to what I’d kind of had fixed in my head: rural, but close enough to useful things. Close to Cervera, on the Barcelona side. Private. Garden. Small, but perfectly formed.

And we felt it when we walked in, not saying much but hands held a bit tighter, hmming and ooh-ing at things, then walking out and getting back in the car and turning to look at each other.

“I want to live here.”

He smiled back at me and nodded. “I know. Me too. So perfect…coming back from races, just locking the door and…yeah. I know. Me too.”

I grinned and leaned over for a kiss. “Also…”

“I know what you’re going to say.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yup.” He grinned and nodded at me. “Far enough away from neighbours…”

“Yup.”

“Same priorities as me?”

“Hmm…well…” I shrugged and then grinned, “Sex, then teenage Marquez ninja parties?”

“Ohhh yeahhhh.” He laughed and grinned before we walked back over to the woman and suddenly I was meant to be signing a lease before Motegi, Alex’s name not on it but that no problem for the landlord after a quick call, that seeming like the last important thing I wasn’t quite ready for. But it wasn’t a problem for him.

“You know tonight…”

He turned the music down slightly and rolled his window up to hear me a bit better. “Yeah?”

“Can we go to Barcelona and stay in a hotel?”

“Yeah, if you want to.”

“I do. And tomorrow I need to go to my old place and at least assess the shit.”

“Ok, well I’m free, I can train in the afternoon. Where do you want to stay?”

“I want to stay in a ridiculously expensive room in the W and I’m going to pay.” He started trying to protest and I shook my head. “No arguments.”

“But-“

“No. Tonight, I’m treating you, ok? I’m getting enough free tickets and hotels and God-knows what following you around.”

“But-“

“Ok normally I love the Marquez attitude but shut the fuck up and decide what nice clothes you’re going to bring.”

A few seconds of silence before a well over the top and grinning sigh. “Ok…”

*

Alex Marquez is very attractive wearing jogging bottoms and a dirty t shirt. Or leathers. Or even a hoody and jeans. He is very attractive wearing nothing. But in a suit that he suddenly seemed to have grown into, standing on a balcony waiting for me, staring up at the sky, eyes firing up as he saw me, was something completely unforgettably breathtaking.

“Wow.” I grinned my way over and took another deep breath to try and get some breath back. “ _Wow._ ”

“Ok, right?” He did a bit of a spin and then pulled me in to a chaste but close kiss. “And you…” Another one. “You….”

“Hmmm?”

He pulled away to get eye contact and I felt naked already. “You look _incredible._ ”

I felt myself go slightly pink and then melted into a kiss, everything a bit more formal and controlled given the clothes, but somehow that being a positive, rare as it was, and different. “Thank you. Dinner?”

“Dinner.”

And I realised in the way there were no jokes about appetite or getting angry that tonight was going to be a little bit different. A little bit less _jajaja_ , and made of glances and touches and moments that from the outside seem like nothing and from the inside feel like a novel. And it was. We hardly even talked, we both realised in the lift on the way back up after a couple of hours near silence but perfectly so, sharing a knowing smile at where we were then, but everything just seemed that little bit more special. And nothing got ripped or destroyed on the way to the bed, everything was unbuttoned with care, the lighting feeling like a movie, fingers tracing slower, every new inch of skin revealed with more care, more attention. And given more care and attention; what seemed like hours of a kiss, then hours of something a little further, then finally naked and slow and perfectly timed, rep lipstick smeared over his face and then the pillow. Nothing exciting. Him on top, me underneath, the original and classic. But done right. Perfectly on script, making me feel worshipped and like the only woman in the world.

Then wrapped in a sheet back on the balcony, arms going round me from behind, fingers lacing through mine, kiss draped over my neck, lips pressed against my ear.

“I love you.”

I nodded and leant back against his chest, letting the silence settle back for a while, knowing there was no rush, both of us refocusing on the twinkling lights of the city for a few minutes. “Alex?”

“Hmm?”

I turned round and tried to keep my voice steady, staring up at him and both our eyes flicking between locked together and each other’s lips, that same sparkle of something a little bit different still hovering around us. “I think tonight was the best night of my life.” _Wrong tense._ “Is…”

He smiled slightly, nodding and pulling me closer, before finally he leant down to press his lips against mine again, soft and gentle before starting to re-light the fire we’d already tried to put out, hands moving lower and then scooping me up, back inside, back to the bed. “Me too.”

“And I love you too.” I had a sudden flashback to Brno and the days before, such a short time ago but unrecognisably different, walking around Vienna like the teenagers only half of us were, and smiled into the pillow as his lips moved lower, feeling the hum of a soft laugh vibrate against my skin, every other time I’d felt that echoing through me, memory after memory overwhelming. “In case the kiss didn’t elaborate for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Have you ever wished for an endless night?_  
>  Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight...  
> Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself,  
> "Will it ever get better than tonight?" 


	57. Feel Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you, back soon ♥

I could tell something was happening, of the negative or confusing kind. When we got back, Marc was grumpy and quiet, and Julia and Roser as equally confused. And then at 830 he disappeared into the dark in a flurry of banged doors and aftershave, obviously out somewhere to impress, quickly.

I left it until about 9 before I picked my phone up and wondered.

To Dani: _Something happened again…?_

Dani: _Yeah last night he had a few too many beers (his reasoning) and asked me if I was gay/bisexual after what I said_

To Dani: _And you said yeah…_

Dani: _Yup._

To Dani: _And he said..?_

Dani: _He didn’t reply, which wasn’t very nice given how big a deal it is to tell him, and so I got a bit irritated_

To Dani: _And..?_

Dani: _Answered the drunken phone call (me sober) and told him that, then he was sorry and put the phone down and that’s it. So nothing today…?_

To Dani: _Ah ok. We were out last night and most the day, so no idea either. Windsurfing?_

Dani: _Yeeeeehhhaaaaaa!!!! Jaja :D tomorrow!_

To Dani: _Woooooo :D!_

I wasn’t expecting another reply but then jumped as my phone buzzed again, and then bit my lip as I saw it.

Bea: _So Marc Marquez is on his way to my house, and somehow this is positive._

To Bea: _Ah ok wondered where he was off to smelling so fresh ;)_

Bea: _Ooohhhh I’ll make sure I try that out. And positive continues: ‘I’m not staying and I’m not being pathetic. Party replay? ;)’_

To Bea: _Not staying is positive?_

Bea: _Er yeah more room in the bed? Marquez sex + alone in bed = fuck yes_

To Bea: _Hmm…maybe I’m going soft in my…teenage relationship ;) :P but…be careful with him. Yeah?_

Bea: _You mean physically or emotionally? ;)_

To Bea: _Emotionally. Everything else I won’t comment on ;)_

Bea: _Lucky next GP’s in a while…I have a feeling that driving all the way down here to have sex with me will probably make it worthwhile ;)_

To Bea: _Hmm…don’t want to know! But remember hugs are free?_

Bea: _So am I :P but seriously…the hottest guy in the world is currently driving to my house literally to just fuck me_

To Bea: _Er….sorry but he’s actually sat next to me on the sofa…kind of drooling on my shoulder…_

Bea: _You’re really selling it_

To Bea: _Don’t need to. I have Alex Marquez :P_

Bea: _Hmm I was going to say ‘I have Marc Marquez’ but I don’t really ;) just for a bit ;)_

To Bea: _Ok but be careful with him. He’s a sweetheart (wayyyyy underneath… ;))_

Bea: _Don’t :P if he doesn’t like the rules he shouldn’t play the game_

To Bea: _Casey retired, careful what you wish for :P_

Bea: _Pfff whatever…not all Marquezes want fences and babies and houses and rings :P <3 _

I smiled at that, wondering whether it was my business to say _hmm maybe?_ or my business to sit back and wait, see what happened, let him realise what he was dealing with by himself. I left it a while and settled back under Alex’s arm for a while before daring to delve a little bit.

To Marc: _Hey there…you ok? Left in a rush._

Marc: _Yup. And I already got here and know you know where I am so stop fishing for dirt, Olivia :P_

To Marc: _Jaja right FINE. Enjoy your fuckbuddy. :P_

*

_Right. That’s what she’s said I am? Or what?_ He frowned slightly at that for a second before shaking his head to clear the image and accepting the beer, taking a few big gulps and then letting his eyes focus on her, leaning in closer, beer then back on the table as his hands were suddenly full of something else, tongue battling and fingers already grappling with the button on her jeans as they messily made their way over to the bed, somehow not nervous this time, not feeling fragile, nothing else other than _she is hot and I get to have sex with her right now_ in his brain. How long that would last he wasn’t sure, but he found out about an hour later when he leaned in for a softer kiss and was met with a smile and a peck on the lips, Bea sitting up and looking down.

“Thought this was going to be more…bang bang, hmm?”

“Hmm…maybe I changed my mind?”

“Ok but that wasn’t the deal.”

“No but how bad would it be if I went home…maybe…say, tomorrow?” He knew the expression on his face was the one Roser referred to as _cute cruelty_ , taking puppy dog eyes to the next level. “I won’t try and snuggle you if you don’t ask me to.”

She looked at him for a second, caught between the should and the could, before shrugging and nodding. “You actually like me.”

A split second of frown got replaced by a slightly more shy nod. “Yeah. I think I do. Not saying I want to move in with you and propose to you before you’re even divorced…but…”

She waited and then raised an eyebrow, smiling. “…but?”

“But I like spending time with you. Now I’m confident enough to actually talk to you.” He grinned and then ran his fingers down her back. “And I’ve not heard you screaming Jorge’s name recently, so…”

“Aragón.”

“Ok, you know what?” He sat up too and then levelled his eyes at her. “I’m not like…the devil or whatever, ok? And you just drove away. So you don’t like being attached to people blah blah fine, whatever. But that was the worst day of my entire fucking year and you just drove away.”

“I’m not your girlfriend, Marc. What did-“

“No, I know that. Believe me, I know that.”

A few seconds of silence reigned as she looked away before he ran his fingers down her arm. “I get it. You’re not a fan on track. But I’m real, and I’m right here, and we have fun and I don’t understand why you left, then. And I don’t understand why you seem to like saying things like that. Fine, cheer for Lorenzo. I don’t really care. I love racing and fans and everything but honestly, it’s not like most people in my life go around wearing merchandise telling me I’m special….everyone supports different people and everything. But what do you expect me to do? Just have sex with you and leave?”

“Well..yeah. That was the whole point.”

“Oh, right. Ok.” He started getting out the bed and then got pulled back. “What?”

“Sorry.” Deep breath. “Sorry I’m being a bitch.”

He stared at her for a few seconds before shrugging. “Not sure what you want me to say because yeah, you kind of are.”

_Ouch._ “Aragon was shit?”

“What do you think?”

“I thought you were Mr Bounce Back?”

“Yeah well, not then. It’s fine now…Motegi, home of Honda. Win the title. I’m not crying about it. But you just drove off…”

“But if I stayed and made you feel better, what does that make me?”

“Just a nice person. Simple. Like I said, I like you. I’m not trying to marry you. But…seriously, why are you so scared?”

“I’m not scared. I just think it’s simpler this way.”

The way she said it made him defrost slightly and nod, recognising the brick wall. “Ok. Well I’ll maybe see you after the flyaways then.” He kissed her shoulder and took a bit of a breath to remember the moment before getting up and heading to the bathroom, unaware of the eyes that followed, followed by a sigh. He did get a goodbye kiss, though, followed by an annoying drive home and a few things knocking on the door to his consciousness he didn't want to think about.

To Dani: _Sorry. I'm glad you felt like you could tell me :) I know I'm being a dick lately, try and ignore it? ;)_

Dani: _Always the winky face. ;) Ok. Thanks for that :)_

To Dani: _Alex moved out..._

Dani: _I know. Feeling ok about it?_

To Dani: _Happy for him! Very weird though. I need to move out of here at some point! Always imagined I'd move in with him :/_

Dani: _I think everyone imagined you'd do that! Move to Almeria with Tito :D_

To Dani: _Not a bad idea! Haha. I don't know, we'll see. Anyway, sorry._

Dani: _It's ok. Thanks for saying it :) Goodnight?_

To Dani: _Yup, goodnight. x_

The kiss almost accidentally put there in a sleepy haze in Cervera as Marc drifted off completely fucked up the sleepy haze in Geneva as Dani sat bolt upright.

*

I walked round the block twice before finally making it up the stairs to my place, pausing again outside the door and then going in. I’d expected it to feel invaded and horrible, expected to probably cry or just generally feel the whole cloud of negativity hit me. But it didn’t. It was weirdly detached.

_Maybe just because it’s not home anymore. It’s just some rooms with some stuff in._

I walked around to check everything, noticing Bea had obviously managed to get the visor back on the signed helmet and it was now fine, and then pulled it on, looking like a freak but happy about it, and sat on my bed and zoned out for a few minutes, thinking. Then I smiled, looked down at the ring, and gave the room the finger before putting the helmet down, turning on some loud music, louder than I’d normally have dared to play in the building, and started sorting through everything. It took the rest of the day and most of the next, sleeping there alone and having a funny half conversation with Alex during which he fell asleep, then listened to him snore for a while and cancelled the call, turning over and taking a deep breath. _Last night here._

And then it was done, everything was packed, the guys I’d hired had taken the only furniture in the place I’d actually owned – sofa, desk, a chair and a bed - and I was stood in a queue in a small office renting a van big enough to pack everything smaller into, Alex walking in before I reached the front and greeting me with a poke and a kiss, both of which caused everyone in there to turn and look at us, a few of them recognising him and the word _Marquez_ ricocheting around in Chinese whispers. And he didn’t care. Compared to the first nervous time we’d been out together in the city, he was like a different person. We got the van, we loaded it up, we drove back up to Cervera with very bad car karaoke, and then we left it on the drive pending move in date. Which we then got a call saying could be _tomorrow._ So we said yes, I went into the office to sign everything, and then we went back and Roser cooked for everyone and that veil of nostalgic but happy sadness seemed to be everywhere, everyone aware Alex was leaving. Everywhere, that is, except for him. He was beaming and glowing around the house like he was high on something. Then we got up, packed some of his stuff but not all, added that to the truck, and went to get the keys. And went back to the Marquez house, had lunch together, and then drove away after a round of goodbyes that were strange and emotional, only moving a few miles away but still a whole new chapter, and we were gone, Roser and Julia fading into the distance in the rear view mirror, Marc appearing and hugging them both. _Must be weird for you. Should I be sorry? Because you like me, but sometimes it feels like I stole him too soon._

We pulled up to the house, got out, nothing said, and he grabbed me off my feet and yanked me inside and straight upstairs to where there was a bedroom with nothing in it, which didn’t matter but was a bit painful on the floor, and we had to unpack everything sticky and post-sex unshowered slightly gross, which didn’t seem to matter much either since we ordered in pizza, sat cross legged in the empty sitting room, and then decided against re-building the bed and piled all the soft stuff in a heap in the empty bedroom and got in it, drifting off very quickly despite the floor, night unseasonably hot and making us unconsciously keep throwing the sheets off ourselves and onto the other, apparently getting it right at some point and them ending up on the floor at the end of the ‘bed’, waking up naked and finally cooler, sunlight streaming in.

“Morning.”

I grinned back and rolled closer. “Morning.” 

We held the eye contact for a few minutes until I nodded at his face and smiled again. _I know exactly what you’re thinking._ “We’re going to wake up here and say that a lot from now on.”

He nodded and grinned again, sitting up slightly propped on his elbow and staring down, and then leaned down for a kiss. “Hopefully forever. Until we move, anyway.” He grinned at my slight _arrgghhhh the future_ face and nodded. “Don’t be scared. Everyone has to grow up some time.”

I glared at him and then yanked him back down. “Fuck you.”

An evilly beautiful _feel free_ purred into my ear, skin standing up on the back of my neck. _Feel free. I do._


	58. Flyaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-boarding posting, so no responses possible for a while. :(
> 
> ♥ thank you!

“Ok, so…you’re sure you want to come with me?”

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“But what ab-“

“Nope, shut up. I’m sure.”

I fake glared at him and then pulled him in for a hug, walking him back to lean against the kitchen counter and share a kiss. _I know you’re sure but I still feel a bit guilty._ “Ok. I’ll call the taxi? And come back Tuesday? Or you want to come back-“

“No, that sounds good.”

“Ok.” I gave up on trying to allay my guilt by convincing him he didn’t want to come and booked the taxi, checked we were packed, which apparently was something Alex wasn’t all that great at, and then we were locking up the house for the first time and heading down to El Prat, on the way back to England and my parents, for my mother’s surgery.

*

She looked different. More worn out. Although that was definitely to be expected, and at least she sounded the same as she had on the phone. Nervous, but hopeful. Ready. My dad seemed to be sticking to the _ignore it and it will go away_ philosophy and that suited me as long as it didn’t seem detrimental. Alex avoided him at most costs, which was relatively amusing and understandable, but had to change by the time we were all waiting for it to be done, worried and stressed and too tired, Alex fetching drinks and just generally being that person that makes everything a little bit easier. And it went well, and she woke up reasonably happy, and we got back to Spain, I thought, not too much different to how we’d left: if anything, happier.

But the reason why Alex had been avoiding my dad quite so much came out in the slightly irritable taxi journey back, both tired and sat on very obviously separate sides of the back seat, unusual in itself, and had not an argument, but certainly an unpleasant conversation. About honesty, which I thought was random to bring up, and then once back at the house I realised what had happened.

“You said you’d found out more.”

“I have.”

“Stop lying to me.” Serious, serious voice. “I talked to your dad and he seems to think it’s my fault that you’re ignoring it, so thanks for that, but your mum has been trying to talk to you about it for ages and you’ve been ignoring her. Right?”

I bit my lip and felt my heart sink slightly. _Fuck._ “I googled it…?” It was one of those things that you realise is incredibly stupid as soon as it leaves your mouth. _Because I convinced myself that was enough._ His face said the same thing. “I don’t want to.”

“I understand that.” Slightly defrosted. “But it’s not going to go away.”

“Yeah, EXACTLY.” I suddenly felt myself snap and threw the water out my glass into the sink. “Exactly. It’s not going to go away so where’s the rush? Hmm?”

“To find out and know and figure out what to do.”

“And if there’s nothing to do, then what? No kids. No kids, ever. Unless we start pretty soon, which we’re not going to do, so then that’s most of what I ever wanted completely fucked. So why would I? Just for a while maybe it’s-“

“I know, I understand. It affects me too, ok? I-“

“Oh, I KNOW it affects you. It keeps me awake at night how much it fucking affects you.”

“That’s not how I meant it. I’m worried about _you_ , here and now and in the future, not whatever you’re-“

“I know that and so am I but what can I-“

“Find out, that’s what you can do.”

I shrugged, classic irritated _I know you’re probably right but I don’t want to accept that_ , and then slammed outside to go and smoke, leaving him sighing and leaning against the kitchen counter, illuminated for me through the window, staying there a few minutes and biting his lip, obviously upset and trying to calm down, that killing me, and then he got a beer out the fridge and slumped down on the sofa, staying there staring at the silent, black TV until I went back in and sat down next to him.

“Sorry.”

We hardly ever fought, so I wasn’t really sure how that would go down, until I felt a hand on my back and a kiss on my shoulder. “It’s ok. I’m sorry if I’m-“

“No, you’re not doing anything. You’re completely right, I’m just terrified.”

“I know.” The words were low and straight into my ear, arms going round me and pulling me in, head ending up on his chest, fingers through my hair, just talking random things at me until I was calmer and my breathing was back to normal. 

“I will, I promise. But right now, I really want to focus on you and the championship, and Marc and Dani and racing…and all of that. Ok?”

“You promise, sometime before we get back from the flyaways you’ll call and-“

“I promise.” I snuggled down even further and nodded. “I really promise.”

*

The flight to Motegi was long, and Alex spent most of it with his face firmly planted in my shoulder making a gloriously gross-if-it-was-anyone-else wet patch that showed up dark grey on my light grey t shirt, visible until well after we’d landed and headed for the hotel. I’d persuaded work to take two pieces I’d written a couple of years before I got the job that I knew were still current, and so didn’t have anything knocking on the door until at least post-Phillip Island. He was now the leader of the Championship and everyone in the media seemed to have suddenly realised, so he was busy with that and with Honda with Marc and Dani until he was tired enough to curl himself around me in bed and go to sleep. I figured he would probably do that every night until after the race, depending on the outcome, and whilst it was slightly frustrating, it was also adorable and the sheer beauty of feeling his breath move us gently up and down as I played with his hair was more than enough to compensate. I hadn’t really spoken to Bea much, although I’d had the run down from her and Marc about what had happened – different sides of one story that, although I loved her more than anyone (obvious exception), I found hard to invest in. To me, Marc seemed right. Because I knew her and her issues and her everything else, and I knew the look when she’d driven away from Aragón. Not boredom or actually wanting to leave, just scared of what would happen if she stayed. And I knew the look on Dani’s face that said almost the same thing every time he looked at Marc and Marc looked back: _anyone else and I’d believe it, but I’m too scared to make the leap because it’s you._ And Marc was still in Denial Town population 1 (or 93), and the fact that he’d now curled up with the older man twice – and kissed him, briefly – was apparently all normal for a 21 year old straight MotoGP World Champion, which it most definitely wasn’t. Or it could have been, if the part he’d liked the most hadn’t been the part where emotions came in and physical comfort went out the window.

Japan was pretty fun. I’d been there a few times and knew my way around well enough to not be annoyingly bored all day, and the track was brilliant. More and more people in the paddock were getting less wary and starting to realise I was there to stay and not going to run off and shout my mouth off, so it was getting warmer and warmer, and Julia especially made an effort to invite me into all those ‘family members and team only’ kind of moments that would otherwise have seen me sat there doing nothing much. Roser had been immediately warm, and she was my favourite surrogate mother in the world, but Julia had taken a bit longer, and we were only just getting to the stage where a laugh and a joke were now on the same level, accepted finally and completely, maybe after Alex had obviously decided it was most definitely for keeps.

The divorce was going well and nearly through, he’d been restrained officially from contacting me and given a punishment I didn’t even bother to read through for the damage to my stuff, and everything was starting to get better and better, sometimes just the thought of the fact that we, _we_ now had a house to go back to, only our stuff and memories, everything would be exactly where we’d left it (which was pretty messy), and anyone else around was invite only. And we’d planned a fairly big party since Marc was, in all probability, going to go to Australia a World Champion. So before Cheste, there would be a party.

Dani had a tough weekend, and Marc had a great weekend. Or, good enough. Jorge ruined it slightly by being faster than anyone had expected, but it was refreshing to see a different winner, for me, although Dani off the podium hurt. And it hurt him. And Marc won the title, and Sunday night started off the next chain of Repsol Honda friction.


	59. 3 + 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! Again, may not be able to respond for a while! ♥

Dani left his garage and was back at the hotel well before Marc, finding him to say well done first, a hurried and but appreciated hug and a few words before he left, not noticing the slight sigh in his wake. Back at the hotel, later, he was packing and just generally moping around, unhappy off the podium and feeling guilty as hell about not trying harder to be more warm to his teammate, because after all, he deserved it and he’d never once thrown it in his face all year. Even in press conferences when asked who was going to be his fastest rival for the weekend, Marc had kept saying ‘Dani, and Jorge and Valentino of course…’. There was no reason other than selfishness for him to not go down and try and take part for at least an hour.

But then, Marc hadn’t exactly dealt with his defeats that well recently, anyway. Brno yes, and that night had been a lot of fun, but since then he’d come running to Dani every time something hadn’t been perfect, even when they hadn’t for him either, but never to say ‘are _you_ ok’. And the more he thought about that the more it started to seriously grate, until he was ignoring the messages he was getting, annoyed they were even coming, normal little fizz of something whenever his teammate communicated with him not there anymore.

Marc: _Hey…are you not coming to the party for a while?_

Marc: _Sorry I know your race wasn’t good but it might help?_

Marc: _Dani? Did you leave already?_

Marc: _Please don’t ignore me…?_

Eventually his manners kicked in again and he at least responded.

To Marc: _Hi, sorry not really in the mood, but well done…you deserve it :) don’t drink too much!_

There was no response for a few minutes before a knock on his door and a groan. _Oh great._

*

Alex was definitely either the drunkest Marquez in the room (impressive) or the drunkest person in the room (even more impressive), by the time I watched Marc slip away, putting his phone back in his pocket, feeling I knew exactly who that was about. But Alex had won his race, which was actually more than Marc had managed, and now the lead was even bigger and he was seriously taking advantage. Not annoying, yet, just incredibly happy, hands everywhere, everything a bit messy and not caring. And it was good. I’d had enough for it to be fun and not really notice the annoying things sober people notice, and every time he came back over or dragged me off to talk to other people I went happily, enjoying seeing him so unguarded and unbothered, Santi sharing a few looks with me about this new and excessive Alex that apparently didn’t come out to play very often.

And then, a bit later, Marc reappeared, and I watched him down two shots in quick succession across the room, then fumble his way across to me and Santi, Alex wayward again, and nod outside. “Smokers!! I need you.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Yasss. Verrry drunk. And I need drink, and I need to smoke, and I need no one to complain. ¡Vamos!”

I looked at Santi, wondering which one would give in first and realising it was going to be me, before I nodded and linked arms with him to manhandle him outside, fresh cool air a bit of a shock, him plonking himself down on a step outside the hotel and then sighing. 

“You ok there, babychamp?”

“Wwwwooorrlllddd chammppiioonn!!!”

_Yes, you are._ I nodded and grinned at the grin before sitting down next to him and passing him a cigarette, then watching the hand-eye coordination of the champion disappear completely, taking it back and lighting it before passing it to him again.

“Thanksss.”

“No problem. Saw you pounding those shots down in there. Everything ok?” I lit my own cigarette to fill the mini silence with something and then looked back at him.

“People missing.”

“Are there?”

“Yup. People should be here. But he won’t.”

The _which one are you talking about_ faded on my lips as the pronoun came out. _Ok, so that one._ “Well you are rivals, and he didn’t get on the podium so-“

“No, it’s not that.”

The speed he put me right made it immediately obvious that this was another one of those moments where only honesty was going to come out, and I braced myself slightly. “Right…did you talk to him?”

“Yeah.”

“Upstairs?”

“Yeah. I texted him but he didn’t come so I went up.”

_Right._ “And…”

He stayed quiet for a few seconds before leaning his head down on my shoulder and sighing. “And…don’t think he likes me anymore.”

_Awwww._ The way he said it left me no choice in how quickly I wrapped him in a half-hug. “Don’t think that’s true. I think he’s just having a bad day at the wrong time.” _He likes you so much he wants it all, not just half._

“Nope. My fault.”

“Your fault? For what, winning? Because D-“

“No, Dani isn’t like that. I think I should have paid more attention.”

_What the fuck does that mean._ I waited for more before giving up and prompting. “Ok. What do you mean?” _You mean you finally realised, or what?_

“I mean…I feel bad and he makes me feel better but then I just went off and ignored him when he’s feeling bad.”

_Yup. But…_ “You won a championship, though. W-“

“Yeah but I didn’t do it right. I mean…” He trailed off and then swayed back upright. “I mean…I didn’t say it right. Upstairs.”

I used the new freedom of movement to pull my freshly vibrated phone out my pocket. 

Dani: _Is he with you? Was I too harsh?_

I bit my lip and sighed. _Oh, ok._

To Dani: _He’s here, what did you say?_

Dani: _I said you can’t choose when people are in the mood to be happy or not, or something, basically just…I don’t know. I know it’s a bad day for it but I’m sick of picking up the pieces and then just getting a laugh and a ‘ciao!’ when I’m not ok. Make sense? I mean, he didn’t even invite me. (and I know that sounds stupid)_

To Dani: _Makes sense but yeah bad day for it._

I focused back on Marc, unbothered by or not noticing the break in conversation, and took a deep breath. “Right…what did you want to say?”

“Hmm?”

“To Dani, what did you want to say?”

“Oh.” Sigh. “Don’t know really. Just…you know…I wouldn’t even be here without him, probably. I mean…there was Crivillé first, but then…Dani. And it seemed really possible, watching this guy from near where I’m from winning races and then championships. And then…in 125s, I always thought ‘ok well he did it once so I can too’, and I did, and then again in Moto2. And he came to see me after I crashed in Sepang and he was suddenly Dani, not this other rider from Catalunya, and now…he’s my teammate. I think that’s why he makes a difference, because I remember 2011 and all that and my brain just goes ‘but where is Dani with the good advice’ whenever stuff goes wrong. But that’s ok isn’t it? He’s my friend, I hope. And I owe so much to him, and I didn’t know how to say that so I just laughed it off and tried to smile through it and make him come down here so maybe I’d get drunk and brave enough to try again but he seemed like he wasn’t in the mood, and I understand why but-”

“Ok, stop. Give me a second.”

“Hmm?”

“Give me a second, and keep all that in your head.”

“Ok.” Glassy eyes smiled back at me and then shrugged, taking another drag, throwing that one away and them pawing at me for another, nothing saying he had any idea I was texting Dani.

To Dani: _Ok, you are right, but today is not the day. He’s upset because you are, and he’s just given me a speech you would definitely want to hear. So…just smile, and yeah, remember everything and maybe say it to him another day, but please come down here and just be…you. For a bit?_

I waited a few seconds, knowing it would take a while to read and respond to, before me and Marc jumped three feet in the air and yelled in tandem as a _beat you to it_ whispered down in between our heads, me turning and standing up successfully, Marc effectively rolling onto the pavement in a heap.

“Fucking hell, Pedrosa. I know you’re small, but…JESUS.”

He grinned at me, twinkle of something probably close to _I know and you’re right_ in his eyes, and we both looked at Marc, just about pulling himself upright and then grinning up at us, all the traces of the previous conversation gone. “Dani!”

“Hiiii.” He sat down next to his teammate and stole the cigarette. “How’s it going?”

“Good, now. Sorry I’m drunk. Sorry I was drunk. Sorry I said-“

“All ok. You won the title. Sorry I was in a shit mood.”

“Was.”

“Was.” I watched his fingers brush Marc’s as he handed the cigarette back and the tiny glace they shared at the same time. “But now I’m here and being less grumpy.”

Marc nodded and grinned at him again before I found myself leaning down in between them, as Dani had done to make us jump, and finding two of the most perfect sets of brown eyes sparkle back at me. _Except for one. He’s more perfect._ “You know we were having an interesting conversation.”

“Shhhhh.” Marc smiled through his finger on his lips and went a bit pink. “I said more drunk and brave!”

“I think you’re brave enough.” I prodded him in the back and then looked at Dani, flicker of confusion and curiosity beaming back at me. “Ask him what he was saying.”

And then I walked back in, daring a glance back to see what the fallout was, and saw Marc nervously take another drag on the cigarette, looking away, before his eyes locked back on Dani’s and I saw the nervous little hitch in his breath as he got ready to say it. _See, plenty brave._

About ten minutes passed before they came back in, smiles on both, shot shoved into Dani’s hand by his rejuvenated teammate, knocking it back, then another, Santi joining them and giving him some shit about it, from what I could see, and about an hour later a hand went round my waist and pulled me slightly away from the conversation I was having, or listening to, and I found myself wrapped up in Pedrosa, lips against my ear, breath warm, that enough to be heaven anyway.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, you did.” He gave me a squeeze and then let me go, arms still holding me in front of him. “So thank you.”

I was rescued from having to respond by Alex, the extent of his drunkenness immediately apparent from the giggling, red-faced words that came out his mouth, making me go purple and Dani’s mouth drop to the floor.

“Hey! So you guys ready?”

_Oh dear._ “Hmm...what for?”

He looked at me and wound an arm round my waist, evil grin, before turning to look at Dani. “Well we’re the ultimate threesome, right Livi?”


	60. Code Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the picnic..
> 
> and thank you! ♥

Dani: _Code red! Olivia needed._

I stared down at the screen and then over at the snoring, sleeping Alex, completely conked out and undoubtedly best left for at least 30 hours. _Fuck. What does that mean?!_

To Dani: _Only just woke up and got this, what do you mean? Ok?? :/_

I waited nervously for tears or horror before it went again and I sighed. _Oh._

Dani: _Sorry think I sent it last night when we couldn’t get in the room. Morning! Alive?_

Marc: _THANKS FOR WAKING US UP, DICK_

To Dani: _Ah ok…you know that requires an explanation? ;) ‘we’?_

To Marc: _FUCK YOU_

To Marc: _And also yay world champion :D <3_

Dani: _Nah not this time…Santi’s on the floor too, and someone we thought was Alex but then is probably not…assuming you have Junior Marquez? :/ ;)_

To Dani: _I have him :D_

Marc: _Pffff MORNING! Breakfast in 45 minutes?? Bring my brother if you can find the lead ;) hehe_

To Marc: _Urgh ok. Are you one of those people who smiles even when hungover?_

Marc: _No. :D :D :D :D :D jaja_

Dani: _See you there apparently. :/ ;)_

*

It took 15 minutes to get Alex from dead to alive, including a glass of cold water that was cruel but hilarious and adorable. Eventually, we were downstairs for breakfast, Marc still wearing his champion shirt that reeked of champagne, grinning, Santi even more bearded than normal it seemed, like a wild Yeti with wilder eyes, Dani cute and scowling and obviously in some pain, unshaven and distractingly hot, Alex looking like he was wearing Halloween ghost make up. Everyone else seemed ok, annoyingly.

“Sleep ok?”

“So well.” Marc grinned and then nudged his teammate. “But Dani snored. And Santi kind of…growled. Through the night.”

“Must have been a bit cosy in there?”

“It was ok. We were in the bed, they were on the floor. I think someone else was in the bath but they left early so we’ll never know. Possibly Tito.”

“I wish you’d recorded it.”

“Urgh don’t.” Dani shook his head and leaned forward over his coffee. “Just don’t. What I remember I want to forget and what I forgot I’m scared I’ll remember.”

Everyone laughed at that before Marc nudged him again. “Pfff. It was good?”

“It was good. Even your speech…” He turned to his teammate and fluttered his eyelashes. “That bit I remember.”

Marc went a bit pink and stared at his own coffee. “Leave me alone, I was being nice.”

“You were.”

I watched for what I thought was going to be another nudge or a smile and then realised what had actually happened: Dani’s hand had squeezed his knee under the table. I caught the eye of the older rider and got the most coy little smile and shrug in return, daring me to say anything about how he’d done it and Marc had just smiled and accepted it, and then went back to my coffee. _God forbid should one of you have a bad race in Phillip Island._

“OH GOD.” Alex suddenly went bright red and planted his face on the table. “Oh _GOD._ ”

I looked at Dani, he looked back at me, and then we both remembered that moment too.

_Oh yeah. Big mouth._

I tried to gather words and rubbed his back, eyes away from Dani as best possible. “Don’t worry, it didn’t actually happen at least…?”

I grinned as a middle finger appeared and then blushed at Dani again, him being one of those people it's really hard not to look at and make eye contact with. 

_I really hope you think it was a joke._

*

I’d decided I would call the doctor on Monday in Australia. The plan for Alex which he knew about but didn’t know what it was – and it wasn’t that grand – was an admittedly cold picnic on the beach, somewhere special to me, and hopefully somewhere that would make a difference to the occasion. But first we had to get there. 

Marc and Dani left for the airport before us, slightly less hungover although the older rider had steadfastly refused to shave, and I nervously read the message from the airport.

Dani: _Didn’t catch you to say yes there were people in the room but they were asleep first and then…well, not much if we were both female probably. But he gave me a full body hug and another peck. On the lips. And said ‘sorry you had a bad race, night night. ’(Don’t think he remembers), I’m playing grumpy_

To Dani: _Any closer to just saying it?_

Dani: _Nevvveerrr! :O_

To Dani: _Ok but honestly…it’s definitely not nothing, you know?_

Dani: _He suddenly cared about me basically because I told him to…not reading anything into it._

To Dani: _I swear I’m going to lock you in a room for a week when we get back_

Dani: _Prison or you mean together?_

To Dani: _Together. :P_

Dani: _Oh then please do ;)_

To Dani: _Get to your gate, Pedrosa. <3_

Dani: _Marc is trying to convince me to buy aftershave because he likes how it smells._

To Dani: _Say no, walk off, wait til he leaves, go back and buy it, then wear it next time he knocks on your door. #tricksofthetrade ;)_

Dani: _Ok fuck it that’s a great idea :D_

I waited ten minutes and then grinned.

Dani: _He won’t let me go, we’re dying with Santi in the smoking lounge. :(_

To Dani: _See, nothing makes a Pedrosa give up, not even people thinking they’re straight. ;) What was it? We’re in duty free I’ll buy it??_

Dani: _You know it was fine until you turned up, I could almost ignore it :P_

To Dani: _Pfffff all that ‘jajajajajaja’? ;)_

Dani: _Fair enough :P BOSS I think, blue bottle…can’t remember the name…_

To Dani: _Done. And Alex had wandered off so no questions ;) (and it smells really good *tasty*)_

Dani: _Part of me wonders if I should just put this effort into stealing you :P_

To Dani: _Oh darling just say the word ;) (and please delete that because I know you know it’s a joke and I love my fiancé and I couldn’t resist but…you know ;) especially…you know… ;) *blush*)_

Dani: _Might forward it to Alex…and well I’d kind of assumed that was a joke but OH WOW jaja_

To Dani: _I have way bigger bargaining chips right now :P and FUCK shut up._

Dani: _FUCK?! ;) Jeje. True ok, sorry sorry sorry…_

To Dani: _Forgiven. Smoking lounge at C45 or D67?_

Dani: _Don’t know, maybe the first one._

To Dani: _We see you!_

Dani: _I can see you texting me, put the phone down, fool_

To Dani: _:P_

I added a real life tongue out once we got in there just for good measure.

*

Phillip Island was all ok for Marc, and although Lorenzo looked fast, he did crash. But then Marc had his moments. By the time the race came along, Dani was at least a bit happier, not liking the track but then also putting in some much better laps in qualifying, something in the setup found, and Alex was on fire all weekend, lead safe, P2, very satisfied. And then MotoGP, where I remembered my _God forbid one of them has a bad race in Phillip Island._

When I saw Dani come off, or almost, my thoughts turned to wondering whether Marc, if he won, would remember Motegi and what he’d said. After I’d finished crying, anyway. There’s something scarier about not seeing Dani come past when you know he’d been there a few corners before. But he was ok, just a moment of bad luck, again, and another Iannone moment of bad judgement, again, but then my thoughts turned to much more once the word _Repsol_ came on screen emblazoned on whoever the faller was. I turned to Alex and cringed, him the same, although at least., again, he was ok. The pack up was glum, again, like Aragon, and everyone was back at the hotel what seemed like days before everyone else. We left them in the bar and went off for the picnic, and then came back from the picnic to find some of them still there, two of them, sat side by side nursing drinks, leaning on each other, getting in the lift and watching the doors cut the scene off.

*

“Ok, bed.”

Marc nodded and hauled himself off his stool. “Bed.”

They walked over to the lift and pushed the button, waiting, both on the same floor so no awkward conversations as yet, got up there, walked out the lift, towards their rooms, both heart rates amping up slightly the further they got.

“Night, then.” Dani took no chances and turned to his door, keycard out and already open, heart hammering, feeling it more than even on the sofa that first time in Cervera. “See you in the morning.”

He watched Marc not move out the corner of his eye and turned back, eyebrows raised. “Ok?” _This is going to be the death of me._

“I was just thinking about what you said in Motegi.”

_Christ. So we’re diving in, then._ “R-right…?”

They stared at each other before Marc took a tiny step forward and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I keep doing it.”

_I’m not._ “What?”

“Kind of…using you?” The younger rider broke the eye contact and stared nervously at the floor. “I mean…when I feel bad. But you feel worse tonight, right?”

_Well P2 is gone, I’m in pain again, and I want you so badly it hurts. So yes._ “I-I guess, maybe. But it’s ok.”

“No, it’s not. I want to make you feel better but even then I’m just confused.” Marc sighed and finally locked his eyes back on his teammate’s, shaking head-to-toe ever so slightly, voice quieter, words hitting Dani in the middle of his chest. 

“You want me to sleep in your room?”


	61. Islands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song by the xx who I kind of hate to be honest but the Shakira version is great (yup superfan :)) and the lyrics are very fitting ;)
> 
> "Buen finde a todos, toca descansar un poco / Have a nice weekend. It's time to rest :)" jeje ;) happy halloween!

“Ok, you ready?”

“Well I don’t know.” He smiled at me from inside the massive coat and spread his arms, perched on the edge of the bed. “You said dress warm, is this ok?”

I nodded and grabbed both his hands to pull him up. “I think so. Depends how cold you’re feeling.”

He shivered and then grabbed me into a kiss, finally walking hand in hand out the room and having our customary _jeje we’re in a lift_ moment as we went down to the lobby, out to the car and I finally blindfolded him and pushed him into the passenger seat. “I’m impressed how much you trust me.”

“You’re a good driver. Plus I don’t have a choice.”

“You can’t see me right now but I’m swearing at you.”

“I would expect nothing less.” He grinned to himself and snuggled down in the seat as I started the engine and pulled away, glancing in the back seat to check I had everything. “But you know I do since last time I wore one of these it was a bit more…trusting than whatever we’re doing now.” 

I blushed slightly and nodded before realising he couldn’t see that and squeezing his knee. _Hope you like this._

*

“Right. We’re here.”

“Yeah I thought so since we stopped.”

“You’re such a smart arse today.”

“Me?!”

“YES.” I manhandled him out the car and evaded a sloppy attempt at a kiss and then grabbed the bag with everything we’d need, leaving him stood there looking a bit lost, adorable as always. “Right, ready?”

“No, I want to stand here with no idea what I’m doing and freeze for a bit longer.”

I whacked him before he could complete the grin and then starting pushing him down the path, more careful now since it probably would be best if we both got out alive, progress slow and safe until I knew he could hear the sea and I stopped, putting the bag down and then ripping off the blindfold.

“Ta-dah!”

The smile was wide and a lot less cheeky. “Beach picnic?”

I nodded and dived half under his coat with him, going back to a bit more serious. “Beach picnic. This is a special place for me, and I wanted to bring you here.”

“You going to explain?”

I nodded into his chest and gave him a squeeze. “Yup. Now fire up the stove thing, we’re doing this properly.”

*

It was genuinely delicious, simple as in basically just grilled meat and bread, messily scattered around us and in us, dark enough to keep the dignity just about intact. And then I cracked us a beer each, laid out the blanket properly and pulled him down to stare at the sky, hands lacing together and turning to look at each other with a smile, satisfied sigh, and then I was taking a deep breath.

“Phillip Island 2012. This beach, although a lot later…it’s so weird but amazing to be back here with you.”

“Ah. You were here?”

“Yup. Marc won the title, Lorenzo won his. It was a pretty amazing day, I’m sure it was for you too. You came…ninth I think? And after I came down here, it was really late and freezing, but I came down here and something kind of broke…and I sat here, and I cried. For hours is what it felt like but can’t have been that bad. But not even bad tears, although a few for Dani’s title hopes…I think it had just been a really long year and…I finally felt like I was free. I mean, I just came here, for no real reason. I just got on a plane as a fan and came across to the other side of the world, no Jordi, no one else. Just me and a ticket, running away but in the best way. And I sat here, and I wondered how I’d ever got interested in bikes at all, when that had happened, and then I realised it didn’t matter, all that mattered was that I had, and it was my favourite thing ever and it made me feel like I didn’t really think anything could. And it was sat here that I finally realised that I really couldn’t stay with him. I tried one more time, half hearted, walked away from after a few hours with you, this year. But I sat here and I just realised quite how big a mistake I’d made, and it was the worst moment of my life, until it suddenly seemed hilarious, somehow. I mean…really? Ok so I’m a Pedrosista and we’re a bit more low key than some moteros, but seriously…I mean, seriously...I married an academic. I married an academic and spent the honeymoon in museums, and you know what the first thing I did was when I got home?”

He realised he actually needed to answer and turned onto his side, eyes shining into mine, hand squeezing mine. “No. Race?”

“Yup. MotoGP race, as if that wasn’t enough of a clue.”

He happily frowned at me before pulling me in as my eyes filled up slightly, wondering what else I was going to say.

“But I decided to come to Phillip Island about a month before the race, because I had a massive argument with Jordi, again, because I’d missed something he’d wanted me to go to, because I went to Albacete instead.”

I nodded as he realised what I might be about to say, timeline connecting, eyes locked together, everything starting to crash over me as I tried to not be pathetic, words eventually spoken into his chest and a soft _wow_ finding my ear.

“Yup. I saw you win the CEV.”

*

“Ok now we really have to go.”

“Noooo.”

“I know baby but we’ll probably be eaten by Australian beasts.”

“Nooo!”

“You were complaining about the cold, not me. Come on, seriously…there’s a bed and a hotel room waiting…” I started to count to three before he sat bolt upright and grinned. _Oh that always works._ “Ha. See?”

“I know, it’s just pretty amazing.”

“I know. Cheesy line: Just like you.”

He rolled his eyes and then shrugged cheekily, accepting that, and looked up again, happy sigh. “Stars are good in Cervera but they are better here.”

I nodded and linked our hands together again. “I know. I live there now, remember?”

He turned back to me with massive round eyes and then grinned, genuine surprise and glee, everything suddenly pulled into focus. “Oh my God you do! We do!” A little giggle before I was pounced on and gave up on trying to keep sand out of my hair. _Life is more important than lustre. Sometimes._

“Did you genuinely forget?!”

“Hmm sometimes it seems like a dream.” 

I closed my eyes for a split second, grinning, and then shook my head and pushed him back up. _I know the feeling._ “Not here. We will genuinely freeze.”

Pout.

“Don’t do that to me you know it’s lethal.”

Even more pout.

“ALEX PLEASE.”

Pout and evil glint.

“Ok that’s it, I’m off.” I made it about three paces before getting hauled off my feet and carried a good 100 metres, trying not to scream and writhe despite the genuine terror at the precarious hold, ground below not sand anymore, giggling. “Let me go!”

“Nevvveerr!”

*

“What?”

The younger rider cleared his throat and said it again, almost a bit less nervous given the look on Dani’s face. “Do you want me to sleep in your room tonight?”

“W…I mean…do you want to?”

“No, I’m asking if you would feel better if I slept in your room.”

 _Casual. Just keep it casual._ “Even after what I told you.”

A nervous flash of something went over Marc’s face before he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re no different to me.”

 _And what about you?_ “Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“Honestly, yeah. I would. But I don’t want to take responsibility for if you freak out. Here.” He passed him the key card, foot in the door so it was open for him, and then shrugged slightly, Marc staring at it like it was on fire. 

“5 minutes. If you don’t turn up, just push that under the door before I have to check out.”

He went in, tried to ignore the look on Marc's face, then rubbed his hands over his face, wondering if that had been a bad idea and made it seem like a bigger deal.

_I guess we'll see._

And then put he put on the aftershave, half cursed himself in the mirror, and got in bed in a t shirt and boxers, part of his brain at war with the other over the odds. 

_I guess we'll see._


	62. Room Service

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ thanks so much!

Dani lay there for what felt like an hour before turning to look at the clock. It had actually been 3 minutes. He didn’t know if Marc was taking it as ‘in 5 minutes’ or ‘during these 5 minutes’, but the countdown was driving him insane. _Because I don’t think you’re going to come in here, but I can’t actually stop hoping. Just a tiny bit. Enough to hurt and regret I ever did it._

He sighed again and stared back at the ceiling before resigning himself to the stupidity and pulling off his t shirt, turning the light off fully and looking back at the clock. _See? Knew it._

*

Marc had frozen the second the key made it into his hand. Suddenly, it wasn’t _oh I’ll make you feel better_ , there was more in it and that more had made his mouth go dry and his skin shiver, in a bad or good way he didn’t know. The only thing he did know was that, regardless of anything else, turning to his own room and curling up alone wasn’t going to feel good. _Like I already decided or what?_

Eventually, he did turn back to his own room, pocketed Dani’s key, strode across to the minibar and downed a miniature vodka, and then stopped on his way back out before kicking off his shoes and jeans, changing boxers, not thinking the morning after sprint across the corridor through at all, and then blanked everything out of his mind before slamming the other key card in the lock and out again, opening and closing the door quickly, leaving him stood half breathless on the other side staring at a dark room, Dani just about visible, now sat up. _Well fuck. I did it._

*

_Holy shit._

He sat bolt upright the second the door went and waited, Marc seemingly equally shocked by being there. _Holy shit._ Eventually the silence went on a bit too long and the older rider held his hand back from turning on the light, guessing correctly Marc may not appreciate that, and found his voice.

“Hi.”

There was a quiet _hi_ from the other side of the room before the figure moved closer, some confidence back, slipping into the double on the other side and staring up at the ceiling, waiting for something, finding his cue as Dani lay back down, turning his head to him.

“I don’t know what it means.”

 _Neither do I._ “What?”

“Here, now. I don’t know. But I wanted to be here more than there, so I came here. Ok?”

Dani nodded at him and then shrugged slightly, understanding that in a way, and then waited some more, sensing it should be Marc’s decision how they ended up, feeling his arm tingle as a finger traced a line down it. _God, please. Just don’t. Or more._

“Are you going to stay there?”

The older rider’s breath caught before he let himself smile at the return of the cheeky sparkle he knew was there despite the lack of light, feeling himself get warmer and warmer from the inside out.

“Because that’s not really why I made the trip, you know?”

*

“Alex.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re not asleep.”

“Yeah I’m asleep.” A hand snaked out the covers and whacked me. “Sorry, sleepwalking.”

 _Dick._ I laughed at that and then prodded him. “Why are you so far away?”

“I’m not, am I?” He wriggled around before his head popped up and I got a sheepish grin, just visible. “Oh. Sorry. That’s not you.” He dragged the offending pillow out the way and pulled me in closer, kiss into my hair and satisfied sigh. “I did think you must have put on weight.”

“Fuck you.”

“Like I usually say, feel free.” He moved again slightly so we fit together properly and then laced his fingers through mine. “But tomorrow. Sorry, my love. Go to sleep.”

 _You’re already half way there, I know._ I nodded gently so I didn’t headbutt him and then followed his with my own satisfied sigh, no comfier place in the world. “Night night.”

A consonant heavy murmur echoed back before my hand was very slightly squeezed and then that was replaced by a light snore, impressive skills from joking to sleeping in 2.3 seconds. _Night night._

*

“Yeah, I’m going to stay here. But you don’t have to stay there. Like I said outside…same in here.”

“Hmm.” Marc left it a few seconds before moving over the bed and curling up around him, waiting for how his teammate always seemed to respond, skin tingling already where he knew Dani’s hand would go. And it did. And Marc realised too late that he wasn’t wearing a t shirt anymore.

 _Same person. No cotton, but same person._ “Better?”

“You?”

“This isn’t about me, tonight. You feel better?” _Same person. Deep breaths._

The older rider nodded and closed his eyes, trying to relax as he felt Marc give him a gentle squeeze, and a small patch of his chest caught fire as Marc’s head turned, lips pressing against the skin, noise echoing through the room, gesture underlined as gentle fingers brushed over the spot.

“Good. Goodnight.”

It came out slightly hoarse but not bad considering. “Night…”

*

“Oliviaaaaaa.”

“No.”

“You know once you’ve formed a word and not just grunted that I know you’re awake, right?”

“No.”

“Oliviaaaaaaaa wake up….”

“Urgh it sounds like you’re really chipper and awake.”

“I am. It’s a beautiful day…we’re in Australia…I’m leading the Championship…I have the people I love most in the world all here with me…one of them is naked…”

I smiled into the pillow and shook my head again. “Nice try.”

“Well I was going to order room service, but-“

“Ok, ok. Room service?” I popped my head up and grinned at the grin. “Why didn’t you say?”

“Because I stupidly always think I’m enough.”

My stomach grumbled on cue and I looked down, face fakely apologetic. “Obviously not.”

*

“Marc. Marc…?”

“Hmm.”

“Marc. Wake up.”

“Hmm..?”

Dani gave up on that, responses sounding like they were actually conscious having been leading him astray for ten minutes already, and moved down the pillow slightly so they’d be eye to eye, running his hand down Marc’s back, still curled up as they had been the night before, giving him a squeeze and waiting to see if that did the trick. And it did.

“Hmm?” His eyes fluttered open slowly, so close to Dani’s they flashed with confusion and panic for a second before they shut again, chest going up and down so much quicker, obvious nerves starting to take over as the realisation hit.

“Don’t panic, it’s ok.”

“Hmm.” The kind of doubtful _I’m not sure what else to say_ sound Marc was too good at.

Normally, Dani night have got up, cut the moment short, given him an escape route as quickly as possible. But he realised after a couple of seconds that yes, he was freaked out, but he also hadn’t moved. So the older rider went for the same response that seemed to help with other negative reactions and pulled him in a bit closer, Marc’s breath hot against his chest, his fingers gently stroking what he realised was skin, not t shirt, hand under that on the small of his teammate’s back, waiting and then relaxing more as Marc seemed to, daring to press his lips against his ear, voices soft.

“You want me to get room service for breakfast?”

The younger rider nodded against his chest, eyes still closed, before his hands suddenly went around Dani, pulling himself closer, pulling them together, no distance left at all and no platonic undertones left alive.

“Please.”

_Please._

“Ok.”

He left them as they were for a few seconds before pulling his arm free and picking up the phone, ordering some food, giving the room number, and then looking back at the sight in front of him, eyes of his teammate now open, unguarded, nervous as hell but not unhappy, and feeling his breath freeze as Marc’s fingers gently moved up his back and into his hair, combing upwards, staying there, exploring, face enraptured by it, as Dani imagined his own was.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

He watched as Marc’s face gradually changed into a smile, tiny shake of the head, voice still low and quiet, before he leaned through the inches in between them and gently pressed their lips together, hand still tangled in Dani’s hair, the older rider feeling himself flash white hot. No tongue, no force, no desire in it. More like a test, pulling away quickly after and closing his eyes again, still smiling slightly, pulling himself back in to Dani and how they had been before, foreheads almost touching, settling back down. 

“No, no problem.”


	63. Dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks so much! I was really hesitant about these plot developments hence the polls etc ;) but I hope everyone's liking it? I'm hoping so, and if you're one of the silent ones I hope you are liking it too, feel free/please let me know? ;) There will be more Alex/Olivia action soon...mainly I'm bringing this pre-Sepang since if I don't I'm going to end up having to wait until after Cheste to write some stuff and since I have a free-ish week and Gasos is done that is not an option ;)
> 
> Much ♥
> 
> Predictably the title is Shakira. (What can I say, she's the only non petrol-fuelled thing I love this much too ;)) The other title option was 'brave little Honda sausage' courtesy of Monocoquemadam's brilliance, but there's not so much sausage in this, so... ;) maybe another day...?

_It must be a dream._ That’s all Dani could really focus on, the reality too much, just trying to convince himself it couldn’t be real. _It must be a dream, this guy still here, still not running, still here._

After a minute or so after the kiss, Marc curled up around him again, he’d given in on trying to create fake boundaries so he didn’t scare him off and just let himself go, letting his fingers gently move over the soft skin in his hands, thumbs moving side to side slowly, all those little gestures that are more than a platonic hug, saying dangerously true things, feeling Marc’s skin shiver under the touch and the occasional soft hum of approval come back at him, amazing the older rider again and letting him dare to actually broach the subject a bit further.

“Marc…” He whispered into his ear and smiled as the body snuggled down a bit closer. “Just say if you want me to stop, ok?”

There was a little intake of breath before he nodded, Dani then biting his lip and needing clarification.

“You mean you will tell me?”

Another little nod.

“Ok.” He let his fingers carry on moving, exploring a bit further, nowhere near to any kind of line, just feeling the soft skin and muscles underneath in his teammate’s back, feeling himself shiver as Marc’s hand ran down over his neck, palm flat in the small of his back now, holding him there, no intention of moving, until finally there was a knock at the door and Dani pressed his lips against his ear again. “Food’s here. Duck under the covers.” He almost didn’t think about it and pressed a kiss against Marc’s forehead as he got out the bed, ruffled dark head of hair disappearing under the white sheets, obviously a person there, but no clue it was Marc Marquez. _If only you knew._ He opened the door to the waiter and smiled, letting him push the trolley past him into the room, smiling his best _yeah I have a woman in my bed_ kind of smile and then breathing a sigh of relief as the door closed them in alone again, getting back in the other side and nudging his teammate. “Ok, safe.”

*

“No, not today.” I shook my head and welded my mouth shut as he tried to push some toast at me again. “It’s not sexy when I’m hungry.”

“But you’re always hungry.”

“Pff. No sex for you tonight.”

His eyes widened before he took a massive bite of toast and grinned. “I seriously doubt your self-restraint there.”

I shrugged and pretended to be annoyed, him not buying it at all, until we’d finished eating and pushed the tray back away from the bed. “Ok well I said tonight…” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes and then grinned. “When we’ll be on a plane anyway, so…”

“Ah ok. Fake promises.” He glared at me before grinning again. “My favourite.”

“Alex.”

“Yeah?”

“We have a 2 hours until we need to be out of here.”

“Yup..?”

“So can we go slow?”

“Slow.”

“Hmm.” I opened my mouth to explain before he nodded pre-emptively and pulled me in.

“Ah. But you’re ok?”

I nodded and smiled into his shoulder. “I’m ok. I just want you to…I don’t know. Just-“

“I know.” He gave me a squeeze and then moved down so he was lying on his side, head propped on his elbow, waiting, smiling and draping himself around me as I blushed slightly at my pathetic-ness and relaxed against him, part of me still slightly irritated by his mind-reading skills. _Just display your fucking perfection in its entirety, once again. Thanks._

*

Breakfast and eyes open was certainly a bit more awkward, for Dani at least. Marc still seemed to be caught between being perfectly happy that he was there with his teammate and trying to ignore who it was at all costs, but one obviously won after they’d eaten, the younger rider wordlessly getting out the bed and walking over to the bathroom, door shutting in a quick bang, Dani left to wonder if that was it. He was in there long enough for the paranoia to start to tell him he should even leave his own room, where to he didn’t know, just to let the younger rider not have to deal with it and put a stop to it. But he didn’t, he stayed where he was, chewed a mint from the pillow the night before in lieu of being able to reach his trapped toothpaste, and then stayed where he was, waiting, until finally the door opened again and Marc came back in, sitting on the edge of the bed, back to his teammate, arms leant on his knees.

“Sorry.”

“What for?”

“I was in there a long time. I’m just freaking out slightly.”

 _Ok. We must have hit one barrier down because now you’re explaining that instead of running away._ “I understand.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.” Dani propped himself on his elbow facing him and nodded, despite being unseen. “I understand because I was freaked out too. Long time ago now, but the same. But-“

“So you’re telling me you’re bisexual but you were freaked out too?”

 _Ah, shit. Maybe-_ “Yes.” Marc didn’t respond for a few seconds so he tried again. “Does that make it worse?”

“Yes.”

 _You were telling yourself you were only freaked out because it’s not you, right?_ “Sorry. I’m just trying to be honest.”

“Are you?”

“Yes. So be honest with me.”

“Honest.”

“Honest, without freaking out. It doesn’t matter what common sense is telling you, if you-“

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t say that.” _Again._

 _Olivia._ “Right…so what do you want me to say?”

“I’m not brave anymore. I just want you to say you want to go back to how we were before-“

“You mean…before, anything? Or-“

“No, I mean an hour ago.”

 _Oh my God._ Dani felt his heart start to hammer again, genuinely having expected another episode of running away. _Oh you mean the best off track moment of my life._ “H-honestly, that was…comfy. So yeah I want…” He trailed off, frozen in happy shock again, as Marc nodded and pulled off his t shirt before switching off the light again, curtains not open and room still dark, finding his teammate in the fake twilight and going back to how they had been before, skin on skin now, fingertips digging into Dani’s back that bit harder, eye to eye but eyes closed, shifting into the touch as the older rider moved his arm back around him. 

_Oh my God. Surely this is going to run out at some point?_

He tried to calm his breathing as the little murmurs started again, his fingers tracing little patterns on his teammate’s back, utter perfection the only thing he could think about, and then froze again as Marc’s hand traced its way back up his back and into his hair, like it had done before, aware what that had meant before, breath catching, Marc’s eyes opening again like before, mouth moving nearer again like before, kiss nothing like before; eyes closed again, more pressure, lips gentle but more definitely there, not pulling away, pulling him in and tracing his hand from Dani’s hair over his cheek and cupping his face before he pulled away again slightly, taking a few short gaspy breaths, leaning in again after the pause like he'd been giving his brain chance to catch up to the new sensations, morning stubble foreign under his touch and against his lips, the noise making him shiver, and this time waiting, lips together, tongue flicking out and daring to ask for more, a wall of confused bliss tinged with absolute panic starting to rain down on him as he felt Dani’s mouth open to let him in, Marc’s fresh from toothpaste and Dani from the mint, tongues gently exploring each other and sending a tremor through each of them, Marc’s hand going back around him again and digging in, daring himself not to let go, daring Dani not to pull away, neither left with a choice as a soft moan vibrated between them, noise of the kiss, now a proper kiss, deafening in the room, Dani's mind fading out into the nothingness of pure, warm satisfaction, the type that melts you when suddenly something happens that you've been daring to for a while.

_And it wasn't even me._


	64. He's My Teammate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much ♥

Dani: _Smoking terrace in 10 minutes, please…if you’re around??_

I stared down at it and bit my lip, then read the next one.

Marc: _Where are you? I need to talk to you, again :/_

I knew which one would be freaking out more, and used that as the basis of the queue system before I realised Marc hadn’t specified a time, but then realised that if Dani told me things I’d then have to act surprised to Marc and might fail, so I went back to that way around.

To Marc: _I’m near our gate, B12. Alex isn’t here._

Marc: _Ok on my way._

To Dani: _Need longer, Marc’s coming to talk to me. No favouritism, I just wouldn’t be able to act surprised enough if you talked to me first. Ok? :/_

Dani: _Oh ok. Makes sense…I’m ok-ish. Don’t think he is._

*

The kiss lasted longer than Dani thought he’d have the nerve for, but the younger rider seemed to be getting closer rather than pulling away, everything getting a bit deeper, tongues fighting with each other more, fingertips digging in, that first soft moan repeated a few times since. And Dani couldn’t believe it. He’d kissed a fair few people in his 28 years of bisexuality, but nothing quite like this. He didn’t know if Marc was just an incredible kisser, if he’d wanted it so much that it was all released now, or if it was some stupid notion of chemistry and they just worked, but it was an absolutely breath stealing, skin tingling and blissful trip to a very tight pair of boxer shorts, trying to keep that literally under wraps and not add anything else to the moment to tip his teammate over the edge back into fear. After a few minutes getting more and more desperate, Marc broke it; Dani’s heart falling through the floor, not daring to open his eyes, waiting for the bed to get cold and the door to slam, and being wrong again. Instead, they panted at each other for a few seconds, Marc murmuring a soft _wow_ that sent fireworks shooting through his teammate at the idea of him feeling it too, before Dani found his lips touched again, gentle again, desperation faded and replaced by what felt like curiosity, Marc’s tongue again gently tracing his bottom lip, patient, another hum of approval, fingers splayed across his teammate’s upper back before they traced lower, and lower, Dani accidentally nipping Marc’s lip as the younger man’s hand reached the hem of his boxers and the tips of two fingers dared to push underneath, not too far, just curious, pulling him closer again, the most incredible noise hummed in return as his lip was bitten, that setting them back onto the road to it getting a bit rougher, before they relaxed, again, and Dani’s fingers went back to playing the pattern they had before, this time as an afterthought, before Marc broke it, again, and pressed their foreheads together, breath gasping across the small space between them, eyes shut, Dani’s now open, fascinated by the sight in front of him, electricity shooting through him as Marc’s opened again and locked on his, a million and one things written on his face, before he closed his eyes again and turned his head into the pillow, taking back his hands, Dani frozen, waiting for it, suspended in the horrible knowledge of what was about to happen, this time knowing it was going to come, fighting back the emotion and biting down on his lip as Marc was suddenly gone, bed empty, abandoned t shirt on the floor and empty plate the only sign he’d ever been there.

_Knew it._

He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, desperate not to cry, and then hauled himself under a very hot shower, standing there and staring at the floor as the water cascaded down off his shoulders, wondering what Marc was doing now, the same scene repeated across the hall as Marc did the same, his forehead pressed against the cool tiles, palms flat on the wall, holding himself up and trying to figure out what he’d just done, or what they’d just done, or why, or what it meant, or anything at all other than the spectacular feeling of those lips on his, working himself up and away from the simple knowledge that it had been the best kiss of his life to the point of gargling shampoo to try and get rid of the memory.

*

“Hi.”

Even the sight of him was enough to know something was going on. “Hi. Ok?”

“No.” Somehow, in once syllable, it went from anger to terror and settled on desperation, so I nodded and held out my hand, dragging him over to the disabled toilet and locking us both inside, immediately finding a World Champion sobbing into my shoulder. 

“Shhh. Whatever it is, it’s ok.”

He shook his head and hung on a bit tighter. “I don’t think it is.”

I gritted my teeth and waited a few minutes, hand combing through his hair, gradually feeling him calm, before I pulled away and traced my thumbs under his eyes. “Deep breaths.”

“Hmm.”

“Look at me. Properly.” His eyes focused on mine and I nodded. “Right, now do you want to explain?”

I saw the flash of panic quickly change into something else, more like regret, but not for having done something, more like the general regret for a situation being unchangeable, hands = tied. “I…I kissed him.”

_Fucking hell. Right._ “Dani?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Ok. When?”

“This…this morning. This morning because I slept in his room. And I was ok. It was weird but it was good. But then…I don’t know…I thought I was doing the right thing and then I got carried away and now…I don’t know. I don’t know what…I just…” He trailed off and looked at me helplessly before sighing and closing his eyes, deep breath to try and calm down, little nod. Textbook self-therapy that worked well. “Sorry.” Voice steadier. “I kissed him, and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Ok. He kissed back?”

“Yeah.” Tiny smile. “Oh yeah. _We_ kissed. I mean…we kissed for…10 minutes? 15?”

_Oh my God. Ok, I see the scale of the problem._ “Right. And how was it?”

“You mean did I enjoy it?”

I nodded and waited for the response, watching his cheeks go pink, eyes go down to the floor, nerves bubble back up with the panic. _Oh baby. Just say it._

“B…B-best kiss of my life.”

I nodded at him and pulled him in for another hug, giving him a squeeze and then getting him back to arm’s length to get eye contact. “Ok, Marc? This shouldn’t be a bad thing. Whatever is going on in your head I don’t know, but it’s not a bad thing. It’s just different to what you expected-“

“But how can it be a good thing?! He’s my teammate. He’s my _teammate_ , Livi. He’s _Dani Pedrosa_. And I just kissed him. I mean, what the fuck?! What have I done, now? How am I even going to go to Indonesia with him never mind the rest of our contracts before-“

“Marc.”

“-before it gets too much and one of us is going to have to-“

“MARC.”

He actually stopped that time, waking up out his tirade and eyes settling back on mine. “Hmm?”

“Is it because he’s a guy?”

There was a long pause before a deep breath. “Partly.”

“Ok.” _I knew that wasn’t the whole thing._ “And what else is it?”

He stared at me for a while longer before shrugging helplessly and giving me a sad smile, honesty pouring out. “Well nothing’s going to happen, is it? I fucked up. I made a big mistake because I was curious and he’s bisexual. But that’s it, isn’t it?”

“What‘s it?”

“He’s bisexual and I was curious, but he’s still bisexual and maybe…maybe I am too, but I’m not just curious about him. I mean…” Deep breath. “No. He’s my teammate. That’s it. That’s all it is, and this whole thing was a fuck up.”

_Whole thing?_ I stammered that out and then took my own deep breath at the answer. _Oh._

“Yeah, all this…trying to make it more. Or, well…letting it be more. Big fucking mistake.”

_So it is more. Ok._

*

He hadn’t said much more after that, panic over again, giving me another hug and then dragging himself back outside into reality, me turning the over way and going to find Dani, sharing a cigarette with him, giving up on trying to be perfectly unbiased and telling him some of what had been said, finding a sad head leaning on my shoulder, nodding, knowing, resigned, before a deep breath and a nod, giving me a hug and then walking away, words ringing in my ears.

_He’s my teammate. That’s it. That’s all it has to be._

I left it until I knew they were boarding soon before sending the same text to both, hoping the wording didn’t give that away too much.

To Marc and Dani: _Look…just…forget this morning, whatever…if you have to. Because even just as a fan, watching you guys and how you get on is fantastic. Ok? And I know these things seem like the end of the world, but honestly they never are. So you kissed…ok. But don’t stop being who you are because of 15 minutes, please. And be nice. Because underneath whatever’s threatening to hurt you there’s a kid and his childhood hero, and two amazing people. Ok? Have a good flight… <3_

I waited for an answer, got none, and then we were on our flight, back in our lives, walking out into the smothering heat of the Malaysian night, turning my phone back on and smiling down at the answers.

Marc: _Just landed. Good advice. I think? I just tried to be normal, and maybe it wasn’t the end of the world._

Dani: _Just landed. Good advice I think. I’m trying to be normal about it, and ok so yeah…not the end of the world. I got an incredible kiss, and he seems like he still wants to be here. So :). See you in KL, maybe talk before?_

And the other one that Marc typed but never sent me: _I just wish he felt like I think I do._


	65. Lather, Rins, Repeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!! ♥

“I’m kind of annoyed I proposed snuggled in my motorhome, now.” He smiled at me and pointed out at the view again. “Look.”

“I know, amazing.” On top of the Petronas Towers, lights of the city spectacular, I did understand the sentiment. Although we both kind of knew it was wrong. “But the way you did it was perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Perfect.” I nodded and smiled at the cheeky little grin and then wrapped my arms round his waist. “Just like you.”

“Awwwww.” He grinned again and then leaned in for a kiss, maybe a bit further than we should have, Alex, other Alex, Rins Alex, making vomiting noises from a few feet away, and getting shown the finger twice in quick succession. 

“He’s being rude again.” The other Catalan rider grinned and returned the gesture, going back to his staring at the view and conversation with a couple of mechanics, the dynamics of the whole trip a bit weird since they weren’t exactly friends, but at least Rins had a sense of humour he was fine with using, with anyone who would take it. And it was quite fun for me, since it was a good sense of humour and another victim for my evil blush-causing skills to attack. 

“I’m quite looking forward to Marc VDS.” The words were whispered low into my ear and meant, but not in a horrible way, more just happy amusement and genuine feeling given how close he was to his future teammate. I grinned into his shoulder and nodded before pulling away and turning back around.

“Jealous are we?”

“No…” Too quick.

“Ah ok. Course not.” I winked at him and watched him go slightly pink again before giving in to a grin and giving me the finger, again. 

“You should put that away, someone will bite it off.” 

Purple. I gave him an innocent smile and got a blushing smirk in return before Alex, my Alex, poked me in the back and whispered in my ear again. 

“Oi!”

*

The first hour of the flight was hellishly awkward, Marc remembering too late a conversation he’d had about plane seats - _but Hector always goes to sleep so sit me next to someone who doesn’t sometimes?_ \- and that was Dani. So they shared an awkward look, boarding surrounded by other people, no eye contact, no contact at all, until finally they were sat next to each other, Marc at the window, Dani in the aisle seat, Marc’s right hand side flushing hot at the proximity, Dani’s left the same. They shared a couple of glances and then both concentrated too hard on the in flight safety video before settling down to sleep, or in reality, close their eyes and concentrate on breathing at a normal pace, pretending it was fine, until Marc couldn’t avoid it any longer and put his hand on Dani’s arm.

“Hey…”

His teammate jumped and the zing at the touch was almost audible.

“Sorry…I need the bathroom.” 

“Oh. Yeah, sorry.” The older rider nodded and almost leapt out the chair, waiting in the aisle and knuckles going slightly white as Marc passed by so close, trying to hold himself back, literally. He watched him go and then froze again as Marc turned back slightly, catching his eye, expression unreadable but definitely on he’d be trying to work out for the rest of the flight.

*

“I thought it was just Dani, but actually you flirt with everyone.”

“I do not!”

“Oooohhh hit a nerve have I?” He grinned at me and poked me, now in the back of the taxi, us having left the team expedition to go and get some food and alone again, air con a genuine oasis. “Because it’s true.”

I huffed and shrugged before turning to stare definitively through the window. “No.” _Jejeje._ “Just attractive people.”

I heard his mouth drop open before I dared to look round. “RINS.”

“Yeah?”

“RINS?!”

“Maybe a bit, yeah.”

“Oh God. Well…I mean…it was nice knowing you.” He smirked and pulled his arm back from around my shoulders, pivoting to look out the opposite window. “Shame, I thought this was going to work.”

“Yeah me too. Never mind.” I smirked to myself and mirrored his pose, absolutely knowing he would crack first, and proved right as he turned back and scooped me up again after at least 12 seconds. 

“Ok fine I can’t beat you at that.”

“You can’t beat me at anything.”

“Oh really. What ab-“

“Shhhh!” I whacked my hand over his mouth and shook my head, grinning. “Not in public.”

“Pfffff.” He licked my hand until I took it away and wiped it on his jeans before turning round slightly and pointing back, view spectacular, even from the ground, mood suddenly changing again. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I know. Me too.” We looked at it for a while before I laced out fingers together. “And I meant it. Proposal out the blue, curled up in your motorhome at a track…maybe the best track…it was perfect.”

He smiled down at me for a second before nodding and leaning in for a kiss. “Like me.”

*

“You again.” _Smiling assassin._

He turned to fake glare at me and then grinned. “My fault you want to die early, is it?”

“Yes. Everything since Motegi last year is your fault.” I grinned back and flicked some ash into the ash tray. “How are you feeling about Sepang?”

“Ok. I mean, I guess the title fight will be over for me by Sunday and that won’t feel good, but ok. We have good straight line speed…”

“You do. But then so does-“

“Vazquez.”

“Yup.” I smiled at him and then shrugged, suddenly realising it was a bit weird that he was here. “Why are you here?”

I realised I’d said it in a slightly aggressive way and then bit my lip at the response, cheek turned up to full again as he held out his hand and raised his eyebrows. “Hi. I’m Alex Rins, Moto3 rider…?”

“F…” The words died on my tongue and he realised exactly what I was going to say, eyebrows shooting back up and grin getting even wider. 

“Excuse me?”

I smirked to myself and then looked away, shrugging, giving in on any pretence at matters. “Fuck off.”

He giggled to himself and then dared to poke me on his way back inside the hotel, shooting me a grin over his shoulder and disappearing. I could imagine the Alex _Marquez_ “oi!” from 3 floors down.

*

Marc used the toilet and then spent 10 seconds staring at himself in the mirror, trying to figure out how he was going to manage to walk back there and sit down again, before eventually he got through it the way he got through most things, which was just going for it and ignoring the negative voice yelling at him. But, he made it back to the seat to find Dani asleep, slightly snoring but not too embarrassing, more just heart warmingly adorable, and then bit his lip. _Fuck._ Normally he would have just gently pushed past and hoped to not wake him up, but the stakes in everything with his teammate were now higher, and he was just reaching down to poke him awake when the older rider moved slightly, snuggling down, little murmur of satisfaction at the new position he was in obviously being comfier, and Marc took his hand back, unable to ruin that. _Maybe I can squeeze through?_

He watched him for a couple more seconds, uncomfortable levels of warmth surging through him at the sight, and then took a deep breath and gently eased past, easier than he’d expected, not disturbing him too much until he sat down, arm on the middle arm rest between them, next to his teammate’s, forearms touching, the fizz that went through him enough for him to wonder how it hadn’t woken Dani up, and he stared down for a few seconds, hands so close, before taking a deep breath and covering Dani’s hand with his own, no idea what he was doing, brain switched off or dead, another surge of warmth going through him as the fingers underneath his twitched, moving like they were trying to reciprocate, Marc trying incredibly hard to not just squeeze his hand and wake him up and say _hey you know you can sleep on my shoulder if you want._

*

_Don’t move._ Dani tried his absolute best to not just wind his fingers through his teammate’s and concentrated on keeping his eyes closed, aware he’d moved a bit, almost unconsciously, too happily surprised by the hand on his to do anything but. _Just don’t move too much and give it away._ He resolutely kept his eyes closed, breath steady, waiting for it to be pulled away, and then felt a tiny, hopefully unnoticeable shiver go through him as Marc’s fingers threaded through his a bit more, not moving, not wanting to.

_Don’t move. Please._

*

He must have drifted off at some point because he woke up just as the seat belt sign came on, Hector leaning over the seat in front and prodding him, blasting him awake, immediately looking to the side to find an empty seat, then down at his empty hand, before watching Dani come back from the bathroom, eyes on his, little smile, both quite bleary eyed, the memory of the last time that had been true sending a glimmer of something through both before the older rider sat down again, nothing said, Marc turning to look out the window, not knowing what to say, before he turned back, starting to smile, blush slightly, glare slightly, everything a little bit, feeling everything start to return to something near normal. But most of all, feeling that horrible pressure of every minute since he’d run off suddenly burst, allowing himself a laugh and Dani joining in, more in the eye contact than a friendly laugh, but definitely a friendly laugh.

“Don’t worry.” Smile. “I washed my hands.”


	66. Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - Aerosmith. Challenging chapter to write! :/ and thank you! ♥

Since the laugh on the plane, everything had been relatively normal. Athough Marc’s cheeks burned after he’d said that, realising Dani obviously knew, they didn’t really have time to themselves as they were yanked into the craziness of Indonesia, flowers and screaming and insanity, but at least, he realised, they were the same through all that as they would have been before: sharing a look every now and then when crazy things happened, and through one crowd Marc found himself, or found Dani, not sure which way round, grabbing his hand and pulling him along behind him, link to normality keeping them a bit sane. It was an honour, and a lot of it was a lot of fun, but it was also a _lot._

By the time they were dancing around like idiots on TV, it was properly back to normal. Whether because they’d not had time to make it weird again or because the hurdle was jumped Marc wasn’t sure, but he was extremely glad of it, and no one in the rounds of Fifa on the bus or in the backstage moments before the insanity seemed any the wiser to the crazy situation between them, the only moment making him catch his breath when Dani, joking around, flashed them his chest, and the memory of his fingers running over that same thing sent a shiver through him. _Not bad though. Not bad? Like I actually…actually what? Like I want that?_. And then, they were on another plane, next to each other again, shorter flight but both needing the few hours rest, Dani in the window seat, arm in the middle, tiny glance at his teammate’s as it ended up next to his, two sets of nervous fingers twitching before Dani turned his palm upright and dared to look at him, nothing said, just the silent offer. And Marc smiled back at him, both incredibly tired, and nodded as he leaned back and closed his eyes, fingers tentatively threading through Dani’s and relaxing as his hand was gently squeezed in response.

“Ok?”

“Hmm.” The younger nodded and smiled to himself, squeezing the hand back. “Tired. Crazy. Fun, but crazy. You?”

“I know. Me too.” He left it at that and nodded to himself, staring out the window as they took off, Marc’s hand twitching as the plane pushed off and they were on their way. 

*

The heat of Malaysia made sure everyone spent an extra-long time in the hotel, the dash from door to track and back to being able to sit in front of a fan made with gritted teeth and sheeny foreheads, although Dani also had to keep licking his lips as Marc’s hair was more ruffled than normal, skin glistening under the sun, everything just making the frustration more almost than he’d felt before. But then, as well as the heat, it all suddenly seemed a tiny bit possible. And that left him in a bubble of happy possibility, the pain of the moment Marc had run off numbed if not gone, new sparks there in its place, smaller ones, just a look or a touch, sure he wasn’t crazy. And then he made probably his only second big and self-caused mistake of the season and found himself sliding across the track watching the exhaust of the 99 liveried Yamaha disappear up the road. The bubble burst, the heat was suddenly the enemy, and he ended up doing it again, sitting back in the garage under the cool relief of the fan, eyes closed, wondering how that had happened, watching Marc stalk the Yamahas, knowing he was going to do it, and knowing what that probably meant. _Jajajaja, bye. See you in Cheste._

He resigned himself to that and packed his stuff, feeling like he’d rewound a couple of seasons almost, back to Phillip Island when he’d pushed too hard too early chasing the same rabbit, watching his title hopes drift away, moping around in that until a knock at the door. _No, not quite ready yet. Go away._

“What?”

_“It’s me.”_

Dani felt himself shiver at the way the words came through the door at him and then took a deep breath before pulling it open, Marc walking past him without a word, leaving them stood opposite each other in the room, the room that this time hadn’t housed any kind of moment, just a room that one had slept in and the other hadn’t turned up to.

“What?”

“You ok?”

“No.” That same bubbling frustration as Motegi started to come back and Dani shrugged at him, despite the fact he was there, that almost more frustrating. “No, I’m not ok. I’m surprised you realised.” 

_Ouch._ “Physically, you’re ok.”

“Just as scarred as yesterday yeah, nothing new there.”

_Ouch._ “Are you mad at me?” The words, said through a frown, suddenly brought the older rider back down with a bump.

“No.” Sigh. “No, I just…I thought you’d gone.”

“No.”

“Well you can’t blame me for thinking that, can you?”

“Probably not. But I already said-“

“Look…to be honest? I just want to go home. I want to go home and forget about this and just get to Valencia and try to do a better job. Ok? I don’t need a pep talk.” _Ouch again._ He looked at the expression on Marc’s face long enough for it to hurt and then back at the wall. _Why did you have to come here right now._

“Forget about this.”

“This whole fucking weekend.”

“Not…me…”

“You?”

“You don’t want to forget about me?”

“That’s not likely to happen, is it?”

“Wh…well I don’t know?”

“Well I’m not the one who ran off, am I? I’m not the one who keeps yo-yo-ing everything between ‘oh I feel bad I suddenly want to spend time with you’ and ‘bye, good race, see you soon’.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it?”

“I’m here right now aren’t I? Although now I’m not sure why.”

“Yeah you’re here now because I already told you I thought you were being a dick in Motegi.”

“Ok, I’m done with this. I’m really sorry you crashed, and I’m glad you’re not hurt, and I’ll see you in Valencia. I’m going to Thailand now; have a good long flight without me.”

And then he walked out, Dani sighing and staring up at the ceiling for a few seconds before feeling everything start to crash down, guilt worse than how he’d felt before he’d turned up, bolting out the door and down the corridor to see if he could catch him before the lift arrived.

“Wait.”

The younger rider paused on his way in lift and sighed, stopping properly and turning, hands out as if asking what he wanted him to do, eyes much more hurt now they'd been allowed to show it, thinking he was safe from prying eyes. “What.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah well…obviously you’ve made it clear how you feel so-“

The older rider was already in his personal space, hand going round his waist, lips stealing the rest of the sentence from his teammate’s mouth before he’d thought through what a fucking terrible idea it was. He felt the shock in Marc dissolve into something different, lips responding, before waking up from the flash of bravery and pulling away, slightly flushed, both staring at each other and Dani starting to stammer as he walked backwards and away, back to his room.

“That’s how I feel.”

Marc just stared at him.

“Sorry.”

“What for.”

“For what I said.”

His teammate was starting to mirror his tiny steps backwards with ones forwards. “So not sorry for that?”

“No.” Dani stopped moving and just stared back at him for a few seconds, eyes locked together, too fed up with everything after the weekend looking so promising and ending so badly, the same soar and fall as the kiss before Indonesia, something snapping as he shrugged at him. “Like I said, that’s how I feel. Go to Thailand, think about it, and I’ll see you in Valencia. And I’m sorry I was harsh. Ok?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, turning and walking off, leaving Marc stood there with a whole new wave of confusion.

*

“I’m really, really angry.”

“I know.” Alex watched in some fear as I knocked another shot back, still scowling. “I’m not happy about it but I still have the lead.”

“I don’t like Jack Miller.”

“I realised.”

I knocked one more back and then shivered slightly as the alcohol fired down my throat. “HOW ARE YOU NOT ANGRY.”

“I’m quite angry but at the end of the day-“

“DON’T PR-SPEAK ME, ALEX MARQUEZ.”

He looked at me with a half grin and wide eyes before grabbing a shot from my hand and knocking it back. “OH SORRY.”

“DON’T MOCK ME.”

He grinned again and pulled me in for a kiss, alcohol swirling around our tongues, before pulling me out my seat and towards the bathroom, me realising where he was going and tugging his arm.

“Alex…”

“Mmm?”

“Don’t. Are you really-“

“Yeah.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “Dare you.”

“If I say yes will you let me tweet Jack Miller?”

“No.”

I swayed as though considering it then grinned. “Booo. But still a good deal.”

*

_That’s how you feel. You feel?_ He took a few deep breaths, wishing more than anything that he wasn’t about to go to Bangkok, Dani destination: Geneva, not enough time to think it through before something got ruined or left too long, desperate to move or do something but not knowing what, eventually feeling his feet start to move in the direction of his teammate’s room and ending up back where he’d been before, hand knocking again, same tentative noise feeling like gunshots. _What the fuck am I going to say? ‘Oh hey, me again. I like you, let’s be friends?!’_

“Marc.”

The younger rider’s eyes snapped up to meet his again before he pushed them through the door, kicking it shut behind them and ending up face to face, palm flat against the wall next to Dani’s head, staring into his eyes. _Apparently I’m not going to say anything. I like you. Let’s be friends._ “You feel like that?”

“Has that not been obvious?”

“No.” Another few seconds of quiet nothing before Marc slowly and carefully leaned forward, lips touching again, feeling that same jolt of _something_ go through him that only seemed to happen with his teammate, not going further, breaking away again and looking at the floor, still close, panting slightly, Dani’s breath hot on his cheek. “Go to Thailand and think about it.”

“Go to Thailand and think about it. Because I can’t keep-“

“I know.” Marc nodded and stood up straight again, looking him in the eye again, and managed a smile and a nod, understanding, then disappearing in a hurry and leaving Dani leaning on the wall, staring at the ceiling, already almost half hard just from the proximity. _Jesus._

_Better or worse?_

He had just about decided worse before his phone buzzed and he felt that same warmth start to creep back in, cursing the evil see-saw.

Marc: _I’m terrified. So you know._

Dani: _I realised._

Marc: _You know what I realised? I keep doing it._

Dani: _Yeah…_

In the airport now, texts not coming back quickly, both preoccupied with other stuff.

Marc: _Well that means something._

Dani: _Don’t, just…think about it._

Marc: _Well I’m on the plane in my seat now, thinking about it, and my hand is cold._

He thought long and hard about it, wondering whether it was too far, before resigning himself and sending it before turning his phone off, undoubtedly for it to arrive once Marc was in Bangkok.

Dani: _I can't keep doing this, because I really care. I don't know if you forget about this the second you walk out or not, but I don't. Ever. I think about this, and I think about racing, and that's it. If Olivia wasn't here I would probably have gone insane. So if you want to talk about it before Cheste, I’m in Geneva without much planned, and you know my address. Safe flight. X_


	67. Know the Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...sorry it's been ages and I'll get replying...
> 
> But I spent my time on the road well? ;) ♥
> 
> Thank you, SO much!

“Home.”

“Home.” I nodded and wedged my suitcase against the wall so it didn’t fall over, captured from behind by a hug before giving him a squeeze in return and then turning round. “Supermarket. Cervera.”

“Can’t we just go to bed?” Puppy dog eyes.

“We could.” I nodded and then shook my head as hope started to take over on his face. “But then our bodyclocks will be screwed and we’ll wake up to an empty kitchen. Then I’ll get really angry and we’ll end up eating more processed shit for dinner.”

“I know.” Giving no shits.

“Just this once I’m actually going to force you.” I nodded at his face and grinned. “Yup. Assuming you’ll come with me?”

“Yes I will come with you.” He gave a pantomime sigh and then followed my out the door, locking it behind us and automatically heading for the passenger door. _So well trained._ “Because otherwise I’ll only get another phone call asking for directions to the-“

“Hey! No. Now I know where the car park is I can-“

“Don’t even try. Bet you, the price of the shopping.”

I gave a blustery nod, aware that was probably going to dent my wallet since I would probably miss the turn off since the ‘P’ sign was in an evil place, and then screamed out the little driveway like Marc would have done, Alex’s face the same.

“Livi!”

“Not driven for ages!” I grinned again and checked the mirrors, road clear for miles, and then did a handbrake turn into the turn off, him going even whiter.

“I don’t want to marry you anymore!”

*

We shopped, I cooked, I lost the bet, and then we lazed on the sofa playing on the Playstation until my phone rang, Bea, and I tried to attempt to convince Alex to pause and wait for me, that not going down well, as it turned out a good decision, and I sighed as I conceded defeat, logging out and watching the sneaky smile as he found a new opponent online. _Yeah you fucker you know I was beating your ass._

I went outside and plonked myself down in a chair on the little patio, weather cool but not cold, and then felt my insides go all warm anyway as the door opened again and Alex through his hoody at me. _Ok actually maybe you’re a sweetheart._ I smiled my thanks and got a kiss blown in return, another one of those moments where everything suddenly got pulled into sharp focus and it was _Alex Marquez_ behaving _lovestruck_ towards _me_ , before finally starting the conversation properly, catching up and chatting, going back in to grab some cigarettes, sound of chain smoking from the other end of the call too tempting to ignore, Alex’s face _tut-tutting_ at me. I went through everything I was allowed to – no Marc and Dani – and we lamented Jorge’s suffering in the heat, Dani’s crash, celebrated Tito’s title – which before we’d headed to the airport we’d dropped in on and it had seemed to be going very well in the Marc VDS camp on Sunday night, Kallio notwithstanding – and then spent a good 20 minutes bitching about Jack Miller, Alex knocking on the window at one point and yelling that he could hear me and I should be less rude, me giving him the finger and ignoring that, this a safe conversation to vent and let off steam in since he was proving too zen about the whole thing. Then, plans for Marc’s party at our house the following weekend, that suddenly making me realise there was someone important who either hadn’t been invited yet or whose possible presence should be checked out. That remembered, I was about to tell her I should go when the phone rang again, _Dani_ flashing on the screen, sadly not literally, and proving the reason I needed to say my goodbye and dive back into confusionville.

“Hey. I’ve been on the phone to Bea for ages and I really need the toilet. Can I call you back?”

_“Hello to you too. Yes, thanks for telling me. 2 minutes or an hour?”_

“Pffffff don’t make it weird.”

_“Says YOU. Ok. No problem. And then I think you’ll need to be away from Alex-“_

“No problem, I’m sat outside now. Ok?”

_“Thanks. Byeeee…”_

“Temporary bye.” I smiled at the chuckle that elicited before putting the phone down and heading for the bathroom, door shut, Alex showering. I sighed and knocked. “Baby I need the toilet…”

“I’m in the shower…”

“I know but I really need the toilet…will you be traumatised?”

“Depends what you need it for.”

I grinned at that and rolled my eyes. “Nothing terrible.”

“Ok.”

I opened the door and went in, glad the shower noise was the same as the toilet noise, and then glared as his head popped round the curtain. “Don’t look.”

“Seen it all before.”

“Not this you haven’t.”

“Really?!”

I nodded and glared some more, face disappearing again, and then flushed. “Yeah I think I’ve seen you piss more times than I’ve had sex with you but I don’t think we’d got over this barrier yet.”

“Bullshit. We’ve had sex a lot.”

I grinned to myself and then yanked the curtain back, yelling at him and then skirting out the way of a splash, back outside. “I KNOW!”

And then paused to make sure the shocked wobble hadn’t actually made him fall over, no head-against-tiles whack sounding out, so assuming he was alive.

_“I hate you.”_

Definitely alive.

*

“Hello. I’m free…sorry I had to fight my way in there past a showering Marquez.”

_“The Alex kind…”_

“Yup. Marc’s back tomorrow. Which I guess might be why you’re calling…?”

_“Yeah. I thought being back home would take my mind off it but if anything I think its worse.”_

“Hmm know the feeling.” _Please breeze past that._

_“Know the feeling?”_

_Fuuuuck._ “Um…yeah…there’s some stuff I need to deal with that I keep putting off. Scenery changes aren’t helping.”

_“Oh, ok. Doesn’t sound like you want to talk about it but if you do, feel free. Whenever.”_

“Thanks, Dani. Maybe I will. Right now though definitely would like to stay in denial.”

_“And there we are back on topic…”_

“Ah. Right…”

_“Yeah. He came to see if I was ok, after the race. I was a bit of a dick, to be honest. I was just fed up. But…he walked off and I felt bad so I followed, then I may have…said more than now I think I should have.”_

“Right…”

_“Right. I kissed him…nothing major…and then said that that’s how I feel.”_

_Wow. Ok._ “As in…I have feelings?”

_“Yeah. And I told him to think about it in Thailand and then we could talk about it, and left him to it…then he followed me back to my room a couple of minutes after, barged in, kissed ME, and then checked he got what I meant, said he would think about it, and then left. And then…he texted me telling me he was terrified.”_

“Wow. Ok…well that’s good I guess? Since before he only told me that.”

_“Yeah that’s what I thought, and he also said his hand was cold on the plane…I mean…actually did I tell you that? On the flight to Indonesia he thought I was asleep and held my hand. Then on the way back I just turned my palm up and again he wouldn’t let go. This is what’s so confusing…it’s not like he just jumps on me, it’s all these little gestures…”_

_Awww._ “Honestly I don’t know how you’re dealing with this, Dani. It must be so frustrating.”

_“Yeah, it is. So I sent him a message before my flight took off anyway, basically saying I can’t keep doing this because I care, and I think about it a lot, and told him that if he wanted to talk about it, I didn’t have much planned until Cheste and he knew my address. Which now seems like the ultimate way to have fucked it up again, plus I forgot the fucking Honda thing in Milan.”_

“No reply?”

_“Nope.”_

“He’s probably just scared again.”

_“I know. But it’s been weeks now…I mean, fair enough, since we properly kissed it’s not that long but…I don’t know. I’ve been through it and I was confused and my head was fucked, but for a few days, you know? But the person that made that happen…I couldn’t stay away from them. Sorry don’t know why I’m being gender neutral, you already know. Anyway yeah, the guy that made me question my sexuality was worth the weirdness. If that makes sense? It was weird and it freaked me out for days, but…days. And then it kind of clicked and I realised that he was more important than whatever craziness was in my head, and…well…here I am. Fine with it. It was weird, but we took it slow, and we were honest. That’s what worries me.”_

“Because he’s still losing his mind.”

_“Yeah. Maybe I’m an idiot, and he’s just a nice, attractive guy I work with who was feeling a bit lonely.”_

“You want me to tell you what I think?”

_“I almost want you to tell me you think I’m right.”_

I nodded to myself and bit my lip before taking a deep breath. “Ok…this is what I think, but I really don’t want to be responsible for-“

_“No, it’s ok. I’m interested but I won’t hold you to it.”_

“Right, ok.” Another breath. “Honestly I think it’s not just that you’re a guy. That’s definitely freaking him out a lot, but I think it’s also that he cares. And that can be scary, too.”

_“But really, I-“_

“No, honestly. He cares, and he’s spent a while feeling like all he wants is someone who’s there for him and who cares about him. I think he expected that to be Bea, but actually it’s the guy in the garage with him every weekend and the stakes if he’s right or wrong are really high. You know what I mean?”

_“I know what you mean and I want you to be right, but I don’t understand why he goes so hot and cold. Just a simple ‘I’ll think about it’ or anything would be fine, but I just get silence.”_


	68. "Algunas veces"

Marc got back the day after, finally, plodding through the front door, me and Alex there to welcome him back and because Roser had been dropping not so subtle hints how it would be nice if we came over. He looked tired but happy, glad to be home, and dived face first into the tiny gap between me and his brother on the sofa with a groan, hands out to grab us both in a hug, face buried in cushions between us.

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.”

“Hey there.” I squirmed from half-underneath him and watched Alex do the same before Marc wriggled over, face up, and looked from side to side. 

“Guys. It’s been a long time.”

“A whole day.” Alex.

“A century. A century of Bangkok airport.”

“That’s a little bit dramatic.” Me.

“No.” He shook his head and pointed at his face. “I’m now 121 years old.”

“Looking good for it.” I nudged his shoulder and grinned. “Sleep on the plane?”

“Yes. Hector snored. No one held…” _Fuck. Ok well they’ll take it as a joke._ “…no one held my hand when I was scared.”

_Aha._ “Awwww.” I pinched his cheek and smiled as Alex elbowed his brother into a slightly comfier position. “Still don’t like flying?”

“No.”

“Ok well we have something that might make you feel better…?” Alex.

“Is it waffles?”

I shared a _oh fuck well that was obviously obvious_ face with Alex before nodding and watching Marc beam. “Yes. It is waffles.” He was suddenly full of energy again and sprinted through to the kitchen, Julia, who’d picked him up, walking in the front door and giving us a _should I even ask_ expression at the sight of his fast disappearing son, the sound of a _hello, stop running, have a good trip?_ from Roser preceding a motherly kiss.

And then he sprinted back, wedged himself back in the gap with a plate on his lap and grumbled cheekily at the people who’d made them as me and Alex stole some, finally finishing the pile and sighing, head back and relaxed, snuggling down. “Ah.”

“Good?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“No problem.” I looked at Alex as we realised he wasn’t going to move and he got up, tugging Marc further down the sofa to complaints, and then re-wedged himself at my end. “You know it’s rude to sit between a man and his future wife.”

“Comfy. Olivia is a good cushion.” His hands were already over his face to protect himself from the whack before I’d even delivered it.

“Fuck off.”

“No.” Eyes still closed, satisfied sigh as I gave up and snuggled down next to him, head on Alex’s shoulder, feeling Marc’s phone buzz in his pocket against my leg. “Phone.”

“Yours.”

“Ooh!” He grinned to himself and managed to blink his eyes open before wriggling it out his pocket. “Good. It wasn’t working in Thailand. Not for texts, anyway.”

_Oh, fuuuuuuuck._ I looked away to pretend I had no idea what he was about to read and then felt his breathing change slightly. _Yup._

He stared at it for a few seconds before pushing it back into his pocket and settling back down, slight frown now present, and I made extra sure to pay attention to him for a few minutes, frown not fading, still flaked out, before he yawned and stretched and struggled up.

“Back in a minute.”

_Off to Geneva?_ “Can you bring coffee?”

“Yes. But might be a while.”

“Important?”

He looked at me like he somehow knew that I knew and then shrugged slightly, from being genuinely unsure rather than unbothered, hint of a smile. 

“Think so.”

*

“Hey. You answered.”

_Of course I answered, I love you._ Dani watched his own eyes widen at that thought before coughing slightly and trying to sound normal, heart suddenly hammering. _What?! “Yeah, course. Back?”_

“Yup. Just. And just got your message…my phone wouldn’t text in Thailand. Or receive them…”

_“Oh.” Ohhhhh._

“Oh…” Marc laughed slightly nervously at everything contained in that word. “Yeah, sorry I wasn’t running away. Again…” 

_“Sorry I thought that. And sorry I sent that…I was just frustrated again. I know it’s-“_

“So you don’t want me to come to Geneva.”

_Holy fuck. “I think you know what I want, ok? You’re always welcome, I just shouldn’t have made it a big thing.”_

“Well there’s a party on Sunday here. For me and Tito…nothing big, just a few people. Like the other one...?” _Please?_

_Does that count as an invite or what? “Right. So…”_

“So I’d like it if you came? And I know that means you’re making the effort again but I just…for me to come to Geneva, I have to explain a lot to a lot of people, and it feels like a big deal. It feels more terrifying than what it is. But if you just-“

_“That’s ok. Sunday?”_

“Sunday. Olivia and Alex’s house.” _Seriously?_

_“Ok, that seems like a b-...oh. No...I made plans...because you didn't reply...sorry. I would but-”_

"Oh." _God try and sound a little bit less pathetically disappointed._ "Ok...sorry. I, er...well...I guess I'll keep thinking and see you in Milan then? Yeah?"

_"Yeah. I'd forgotten about that, as well. Sorry. I just-"_

"Don't worry. I'll see you on Monday night...not too long. And I know, me too."

_"Yup, true. Ok...but have a really good time? Try not to break anything..."_

"Pff...at least I don't cook hot food when I'm dr-"

_"In my defense Olivia was almost sober and she actually used the oven..."_

"Hmm..." Marc could hear the mirrored smile down the line. "Ok...well..."

_"Well." Deep breath. "I guess see you soon?"_

"Yup. And...Dani?" He cringed and bit his lip as he realised the decision about whether to ask or not was now apparently made. 

_"Yeah?"_

"Is it ok if I call you? I mean...I can call you whenever and it's not weird..."

_"Call me whenever. And it's a bit weird, but in a good way."_

"Ok. I definitely know that feeling. See you soon..."

_"Bye."_

"Bye." _Miss you._

He stood there a few minutes after they said their slightly awkward goodbyes, before he remembered the other guest list and cringed. _Bea._ And finally, he took a deep breath, walked back inside, stood in front of me and Alex on the sofa and then nodded back outside, something decided. “I need to talk to you.”

“Me? Or us?”

“Both of you.”

Alex nodded at him and pulled me up, following him outside and sitting pretty much where we had been when he’d first freaked out after the party, Marc taking a deep breath and a cigarette and then looking back at his brother.

“You know when Dani talked to you when I thought you might be-“

“Yeah…”

“You were upset because it was private, right?”

“Yeah…” Alex frowned and looked back at me quickly in puzzlement. “Why?”

“Because I need to say some things out loud that Olivia kind of already knows and I need to know you’re not going to freak out.”

The serious way he said it made Alex sit up slightly, leaning a bit closer, stance open and ready. “Anything, you know that. You talked to Livi?”

“Hmm. Sorry I didn’t mean to shut you out I just-“

“No, it’s ok. If it’s about girls or wh-“

“Kind of.”

“Right, come on then…I don’t think there’s anything you could say right now that would be a problem. Unless you’re been having an affair.” Alex smirked to make his point and then prodded his brother across the table. “Come on.”

“Ok.” Another deep breath, hand shaking slightly as he took a drag. 

“I think I might be bisexual.” 

He wasn’t looking at Alex to see his mouth drop open and went for bombshell number 2 in quick succession. 

“And I think that because I think I have feelings for Dani, and we kissed. A few times...”


	69. Winky Face!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Nicky Hayden ♥
> 
> Right I'll reply now, sorry!

It took 93 seconds for Alex to stop staring and spluttering and finally take it in, if you were a Marquez fan. Folger fans could have made an argument for 94, but 93 seconds of _seriously? Yeah…Seriously? Yeah…_ is what it took before the younger finally sat back in his chair slightly and took a deep breath.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“In a bad way?”

“No. Just in a crazy way.”

“Ok…”

“Dani?”

“Yeah.” 

I studied Marc’s face as he said it and felt my heart jump slightly. _You can’t even say his name without something more being said with it._

“So…you’re…in a relationship or what?”

“I have no idea because I’m freaking out. I’m just…I just…I need you to tell me it’s ok. Ok?”

“Me? Or us?”

“Livi already said it’s ok but Livi’s a girl.”

We all shared a smile at that and I put my hands on my chest as if to check, desired mood-lightening effect successful before Alex carried on. “Well it’s ok. If it’s what you want?”

“I don’t know what I want. I just know it was an amazing kiss and lying there with him felt right. Until I started thinking about everything else and panicking.”

“Lying there with him?”

The older Marquez went slightly pink and shrugged at his brother. “Yeah…I mean…that’s kind of how this started? After the party, we ended up curled on the sofa and…I woke up and I didn’t move. Then we slept in the same bed after Motorland…and I mean…it’s different. Not like sharing a bed with Tito. Less vomit…” Marc paused and then laughed along with his brother, looking relieved that was still possible. “But I mean…like with Bea…” He took another breath and bit his lip slightly. “Like that. But…more. And I kissed him. On the cheek…then Olivia ran in with coffee…then…Motegi…it felt really wrong without him there…and I know I won and he wasn’t on the podium but it felt wrong…then I can’t even remember which race…maybe Phillip Island? Yeah must be…we were in the bar and then we went upstairs…and he’d said in Motegi, you know…‘this isn’t fair because you only want to spend time with me when you feel bad...’ So I asked if he wanted me to sleep in his room…and it was more. Until then it was a bit weird but then it was definitely something…and I woke up and remembered where I was and it was actually positive. And then we kissed…properly…I mean…you know, 10 or 15 minutes, just lying there. Amazing. We got room service, and everything was fine, and I panicked again, but he calmed me down, and we got back in bed…and it really hit me, and I left…”

Alex read the mood perfectly (as was his superpower) and grabbed his brother into a hug. “And…”

“And…” Marc’s eye stayed on mine as he said it. “And I’m still terrified and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“Don’t worry about that. And ok...” Alex obviously squeezed him and then let him go. “What about Dani?”

 _The million dollar question._ “Dani’s bisexual. In Sepang, he told me he had feelings for me.”

I watched them stare at each other for a few seconds, both taking that in, Marc the first time he'd said that out loud, Alex the first time he had any idea, conversation shooting silently between them until suddenly Alex started to grin, Marc starting to mirror, puzzled but happily.

“What?”

“Dani. Dani Pedrosa.”

“Yeah.”

“ _Dani._ ”

“Yeah…!” Marc was starting to grin back properly. “What?!”

“Dani. You want something like Olivia and you end up in bed with her best friend and now you’re saying you have feelings for _Dani._ ”

“EXPLAIN WHY YOU’RE GRINNING.”

“BECAUSE…” Alex leaned forward and prodded him again. “THEY’RE BASICALLY THE SAME.”

“What?!”

I shrugged slightly at Marc as he looked at me, smiling, kind of knowing what he meant but waiting for the inevitable and slightly derogatory explanation, which came.

“Yeah. Olivia’s basically a hot girl version of Dani. Right? But more evil.”

I tsssk’ed at him and squeezed his knee. _Seriously?! But the discount version. The bottom shelf version. The version Made in China and also faulty._

“Come on…” Marc pointed at me and then raised his eyebrows, voice deadpan. “Dani.”

“Keeps getting back up. Always tries to think the best of people. Always thinks about you before her or himself. Loud and a bit insane once you know them but always the one content to sit there and just be there in the background, knowing you can count on them. No drama. Slightly grumpy.” He’d been counting these attributes out on his hand and then cowered as I whacked him before adding one more, trying to pretend I wasn't on the verge of tears at the adorableness. “Physically violent when insulted. Although on Dani’s side that’s more guesswork...”

“Accurate.”

“Well there you go.” The younger brother sat back, satisfied, and then squeezed my hand. “So you have feelings for a great person who cares about you. Does it matter that he’s a guy?”

I bit my lip slightly as he said that and then turned to him, squeezing his hand and locking our eyes together, suddenly emotional. “You know that I fucking love you.”

“I know.” Serious. He nodded and pecked me on the lips, giving Marc the finger as he complained before looking back at his brother, grinning again, us carrying on as Marc stared. “Also Dani swears less.”

“And he has better eyes.”

“No.”

“Yes. But I’m taller.”

“Yes. Slightly.”

“He’s fitter.”

“Yeah probably…”

“He’s not angry when he’s hungry.”

“Definitely true.”

“I love him too.”

“Sometimes I worry.”

I grinned at him before we both looked back at Marc and I realised there was only one thing left that might tip the tables of cringe back towards me. “So basically we figured out that my ultimate threesome is your brother and two versions of me…?”

It definitely worked.

“WHAT?!” The older brother spluttered at me, eyes wide, face back to pink. "WHAT!"

“Yeah and I don’t even care anymore." I stuck my tongue out and shrugged, winking. "Your boyfriend is the second hottest man alive, so...”

“He’s not my b…” Marc trailed off and temporarily forgot what he was saying as his phone buzzed, blushing slightly. _Aha!_ “Dani.”

 _There it is again._ “Saying…?”

“Nothing much...”

 _You already have private stuff._ “Party?”

Marc shook his head and then typed out a reply, smiling to himself as the phone went again. “No he can't. Meeting him in Milan on Monday. He's reminding me to bring some stuff I normally forget.” _Basically._

“Toothpaste."

"Yup." _Basically._

"See he’s definitely Livi. Bossy but really good at hiding it...”

“Oh Alex Marquez you’d better not-“

“See? See what I have to put up with?”

I elbowed him in the ribs and smiled to myself as the conversation picked up again, awkwardness gone completely, dark falling, Roser eventually popping her head out the back door and smiling.

“Ah! I thought you’d run away.”

I got a sideways smile from Marc before he turned back to him mum and shook his head. “Not running, just thinking.”

“Well if you want to think your way through some food it’s pretty much ready-“

I leapt to my feet and bolted for the door, brothers both laughing behind me, woman in front of me laughing too and giving me one of those seemingly female only looks that managed to ask me 10 questions in 1, happy with my little nod and smile to signal all was ok and then moving to let me past, Alex draping his arm round his brother’s shoulders as they followed.

*

Marc: _I told Alex about you._

Marc: _Shit actually I hope that’s ok?_

Dani: _Fine. And, er...Olivia knows. A lot? :/ And there’s something to tell? :)_

Marc: _Well I figured she did :P And I told him I think I’m bisexual and that I know that because I have feelings for someone._

He typed that and deleted it and re-typed it 4 times before pressing send, face pressed into the pillow waiting in fear for the response, Dani’s face in Geneva pressed into the pillow in happy frustration.

Dani: _If you don’t mean me I’m going to be extra-grumpy._

Marc: _I mean you._

Dani: _Does that mean I have to be extra happy? :/_

Marc: _You can just be normal, worked so far. ;)_

_Oh GOD I PUT A WINKY FACE._

Dani: _Jeje ok then ;)_

_WINKY FACE._

Marc: _I’m sorry I’ve not dealt with this very well._

Dani: _Me too sometimes. I think I forgot how crazy it can be._

Marc: _Knowing me? ;)_

Dani: _Nah I couldn’t forget that. ;)_

Marc: _Good! Seriously though…you mean it?_

Dani: _Was going to ask you the same thing. But yeah, I do._

Marc: _I do. I’ll tell you now when I’ve had a beer and Olivia and Alex have made me relax…It’s still weird, but I mean it._

Dani: _Did I fall asleep already?!_

Marc: _Not a dream. I was thinking the same thing._

Dani: _So you’re in bed too? ;) Night night._

Marc: _Don’t…_

Dani: _Don’t what? Sorry if that freaked you out._

Marc: _No, the bed’s just empty. Night night. xx_

Dani: _Goodnight.xx_


	70. Hmmmmm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title's a bit of a clue... :/ sorry not much happening?!
> 
> And thank you! ♥
> 
> Timeline's not quite in line again, first bit after the last :)

“I don’t know why I’m stressing so much. It's tidy and we have food and drink.”

“Exactly. Me neither.”

“Shut up.”

“Honestly I think, if it’s possible, you’re actually getting more rude.”

“Pffffffff.” I stuck my tongue out and then surveyed our little kingdom. “Right…well…it’s definitely all fine. So I’m going to have a shower.” I looked at his face and rolled my eyes. “God, fine…” _Yes please yes please._

“I’ll make it worth your while.” He grinned and followed me down to the bathroom before I paused and turned back round, getting a slight body slam in return as he hadn’t been expecting it. “Fuck!”

“Sorry.”

“Why am I being blocked?”

“Hmm…because…”

“Because…”

“Because I need to have what I would call a ‘maintenance shower’, aka how I stay silky smooth and feminine. And you are not coming in there for that.”

“But-“

“Patience.” I put my hand over his mouth and smiled. “Give me 15 minutes then knock, and then come and get me dirty again. Ok?”

He narrowed his eyes as if actually considering that before nodding and grabbing my hand off his face, pulling me in. “Ok but I’m using a stopwatch.”

“No fair.”

“I don’t play dirty.”

“Oh baby.” I grinned and nodded, faces close together and breath hot, taking in the expression and marvelling at all the little details, everything I could cause. Still. “You know you do.”

“I can try harder.”

“Harder…”

“Harder.” I gave him my best evil smile and nibbled his lip before turning and shutting the door, hearing the frustrated _hnnggg_ from the corridor and smiling to myself as he coughed and tried to control himself.

_“15 minutes!! GO!!”_

I turned on the shower and started taking off my clothes. _Patience._ “Actually might need a bit longer…”

_“Liviiii…”_

“Are you pleading?!”

_“YES. I don’t know what it is today but…ARGH just BE QUICK!”_

_Aww._ “If I’m quick will you be slow?”

_“No. Harder, you said.”_

“Are you leaning on the door?”

_“…no…”_

“Go and do something constructive!”

_“Like...wank?!”_

“NO!”

We both laughed before I heard his feet start to shuffle away.

_“14 minutes!”_

*

It took me 9, because Alex Marquez was waiting outside the door and that tends to speed things up, and then I yelled, wondering if he’d hear that, and then laughed to myself as the puppy-esque scrabbling for traction started in the living room before a knock on the door.

“Ok come in…”

He opened the door and peeked around, eyes wide and somehow innocently evil, and then pouted as he saw I was wrapped in a towel. “Boo. I want naked Livi.”

“Don’t you want to unwrap me?” _Cheesy._ He licked his lips and I nodded. _But so good._ “Hmm?”

“Ok maybe…” He walked towards me and threw his t shirt on the floor. “Mayybbee…”

“Hmm.” I ran my index finger down the middle of his chest and he dropped his chin to watch, eyes looking back up at mine.

“Hmm….”

“Hmm.” I nodded again and then snapped open the button of his jeans. “Hmm?”

“Hmmm.” He nodded and shrugged them down, already half hard and me knowing I was licking my lips, pretence given up on, socks off, his fingers hooking into where my towel was wrapped together and suddenly tugging and letting it fall. “Hmm. Better.”

“Lot better. Shower.”

He turned the water back on and then followed me in, boxers dumped on the pile, tiles cool against my back, shower flattening our hair and adding extra moisture to an already wet kiss, one hand on my cheek, cupping my face, the other slowly sliding down my back and making me shiver slightly despite the hot water, fingers tracing over the crack of my ass then back up, digging into my hip and pulling me closer, new friction as our bodies met making him moan into my mouth. _It’s one of those days._ I wrapped my hand around his cock and tilted my head to the side as his teeth sunk into my shoulder slightly, leaning against me or more like melting, legs shaking slightly, before another kiss attacked me and we were suddenly pushed back against the wall properly, quite glad for the support, feeling my own legs shake slightly as he ground his crotch against mine and planted his hand on the wall behind us, eyes suddenly open again and staring at me, water dripping down his face, me catching a drop from the end of his noise with my outstretched tongue, silent question answered with a little nod. _It’s one of those days._ I leaned my head back against the wall and grabbed a handful of dark hair as he pushed inside, ending up face to face again and taking a second before he started to move, lips on mine again, copper taste of blood back, both suddenly seeming to remember we were alone and the noise getting louder. 

_This is why we moved._

*

Marc: _Hey…not heard from you for a while. Ok? :)_

Bea: _Hello! It’s Mr Silent! :D ;) jeje nah I know that’s me…sorry. CONGRATULATIONS, WORLD CHAMPION!_

Marc: _Thank you!! Jeje :D :P are you coming on Sunday?_

Bea: _That depends on you ;)_

He looked at that and winced. _Shiiiiiit._

Marc: _Jajaja :P no complaints?!_

Bea: _Hmmm…._

Bea: _Hmmmmm….._

Bea: _Hmmm…._

Bea: _No ;)_

Marc: _Phew! Jaja. ;) Ok well I’ll see you then…just wondered_

_And I was supposed to say ‘Oh hey…sorry and everything but nope…’_

Marc: _Also I think we need to talk…_

Bea: _No talking, I prefer fucking._

Marc: _I know that by now :P seriously though, I think…ok I’ll say it now :/ we need to stop this. Go back to being flirty and slightly intimidated friends?_

Bea: _Seriously?_

Marc: _Yeah… :/_

Bea: _Did something change or did I misjudge how you screamed my name? ;)_

Marc: _Jeje ;) something changed…and…not to be a dick or anything but it’s kind of private…exactly what it is…But I thought I should tell you before the party._

Bea: _Well that’s disappointing. We’ll see how you feel on Sunday ;)_

Marc closed his eyes and bit his lip _no, no, no, no_ at the temptation already creeping in, and then felt fate reach down and poke him slightly.

Dani: _You know I said call whenever? Can I text whenever…_

Marc: _What if I’d been asleep?_

Dani: _You don’t do what ifs, apparently. :P_

Marc: _I shouldn’t say things like that, they come back to haunt me._

Dani: _Yup. You ok?_

Marc: _Good. :) A bit cold and too far from my socks. #details You?_

Dani: _Oh #nohashtaginatext yeah I’m good. Warm, in bed. No socks needed because I have sensible heating :P_

Marc: _We have heating, it’s just that no one turned it on._

Dani: _I would offer to share mine but it’s a bit of a trip._

Marc: _Jeje just a bit…thanks though…_

He bit his lips and then dared to type out the next bit.

Marc: _I’m sure you’d keep me warm ;)_

*

 _Woaahhhhh._ Dani grinned down at it and made a little impressed face. _Wooahhh._

Dani: _You mean what I think you mean there?_

Marc: _Do not make me explain!_

Dani: _I’ll take that as a yes._

Marc: _Um...yes._

Dani: _Did you have absinthe again? ;)_

Marc: _No! Ok I ran out of bravery again. Sorry. Night, Dani._

The other end of the line in Geneva sighed and nodded to himself before at least getting a bit of consolation.

Dani: _Night. Xx_

Marc: _Night. I can do kisses... xxxxx_

Dani: _Believe me, you CAN. Xxxxxx_


	71. Cayendo en ella

Marc arrived early, predictably since that was awkward, usually late and this one time not being true to form, leaving Alex running for the door in his towel, dripping water down the hall, opening the door and smirking, nodding, then walking back down to the bathroom and shutting himself back in with me, Marc plonking himself down on the sofa with a beer. And then, equally predictably in terms of awkwardness, Bea arrived next and Marc let her in, me and Alex now drying off and getting ready in the bedroom, sharing a glance at that and listening out for the awkwardness, seemingly not too bad, before it got drowned out by the hair dryer, me with my head upside down and Alex bending down next to me and bumping heads trying to share.

“Get off!”

“Mine’s only short.”

“So many jokes but EXACTLY go and save them; yours will be dry in 5 minutes anyway.”

He grinned at me, both still upside down, and then nodded and made his retreat. 

*

By 10pm, everyone was reasonably merry and more than half the food was gone, Tito definitely merriest and previously hungriest, and we were sat around the living room on the sofas and the floor talking, music on low, completely different to the previous party in Cervera, understandably since there were less people, but no less fun, just more sensible. And Dani’s presence was definitely missed, although Marc and Bea had ended up next to each other and everyone else bar me, Marc and Alex obviously had no idea why that was either a bad idea or a controversial idea, although Marc was texting someone fairly often, face betraying the recipient to me and Alex at least, that same _something_ on it every time he read a new message. And that eventually made Tito notice, too.

“Texting someone exciting are we?”

I looked at Bea to try and gauge the reaction and found her predictably unreadable.

“No…”

“Liar.”

“Not lying. But it’s private.”

_Yeah great that will definitely make sure no one is interested._ “Oooh ok.” Tito grinned at him and then also stole a glance at Bea. “What about your young love?”

“Pffffff.” She grinned at him and shook her head. “Our young…fucking…is apparently over.” She turned to Marc and I could see maybe the words were a little harder to say than they seemed to everyone else. “So yeah please let us in on the secret…new love? Hmm?” She grinned at his pink and scared face before elbowing him slightly. “Don’t be shy. Again…” 

“Not shy. Thanks, you made sure of that.” He narrowed his eyes at her and smiled, brain whirring behind the jokey tone. “And no, nothing like that. Yet.”

“Yet.” She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled, hand squeezing his knee. “So there’s hope left yet, then, Mr Single?”

He stared back and then visibly gulped. “Yep, still single. At the moment.”

“Hmm…ok.” She leaned in close to him and raised her eyebrows. “So…”

“So…” His eyes flicked to her lips and then back up. “I really like you, and it was fun, but I don’t think it’s a good idea anymore.”

“Ouch.” Tito grinned at them both and seemed to look at me to check how I was reacting, hopefully my face not betraying the horrible battle raging in my brain. “So you’re texting someone serious?”

“No! It’s private. Nothing happening, just don’t want to ruin the chance of something happening. Ok?”

“Oooh.”

“Stop…”

“Come on you’re blatantly making it worse!”

“I’m not, and seriously…I would tell the people in this room if there was something to tell, wouldn’t I?”

Me and Alex looked at each other and shared a _only two, apparently_ kind of look. 

“Would you?”

“Yes. But it’s nothing, but it could be something. If it becomes something then feel free to annoy me again.” He grinned through a glare at the non-Marquez member of the Rufea Team and then raised his eyebrows. “Ok?”

“No.” Tito suddenly lunged for his phone and grabbed it, me and Alex going into immediate panic and then noticing Marc’s smug face. “I changed the password. Good luck.”

“Pfff…well I’ll wait for her to text again then, at least I’ll get a name…”

“Still ahead of you.”

The phone buzzed again and Tito looked down gleefully in hope before huffing. “Pff. Fine, ok.”

“No luck?” Alex finally found his voice again and raised his eyebrows. “Hmm?”

“No. Unless she’s called _Private – Nice Try_.”

Marquez junior laughed and grinned at his brother, both sharing a moment at the genius idea and the look on Tito’s face. “Ah ok well…he did learn from the best. Aka me.”

“Ooh so we’re talking something like Olivia? When’s the wedding?”

“Ok, seriously…” Marc sat up slightly and shook his head. “Please leave it.”

Something in the tone made Tito nod at him and hold up his hands. “Ok, ok. For now…” Another grin that Marc started to return before the Repsol Honda rider turned to Bea and raised his eyebrows. 

“Smoke?” 

She looked at him for a second and then nodded, smiling, one eyebrow slightly raised, palm flat against his ass to push him up off the sofa as he started to get up, leaving him giving her a look somewhere between pure hatred and complete need. _Argghhhhh just tell her._ I watched them leave, shared another look with Alex, and then dived back in to the conversation nearest us in the room. _Just tell her and stay 3 feet away from her at all times._

*

“Sorry….for saying that in front of everyone…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not easily offended. Plus I kind of forced you into a corner there…”

“Still. Sorry.”

She looked sideways at him and smiled. “Don’t go all shy on me again. I thought we were getting somewhere!”

_Me too._ “Sorry…again…”

They lapsed back into silence for a few seconds before Marc cleared his throat, voice slightly hoarse. “Have I been a dick? To you?”

“Eh?”

“I mean…I was pushing for more, and then suddenly-“

“Ah. No, it’s ok. I said just sex, I said I’d keep in touch…I pushed you the opposite way. So I think it’s maybe a little bit me. Or no one…” She smiled at him and bumped his shoulder, both shivering slightly in the cooler air. “How about no one’s fault?”

“No one’s fault sounds good.”

Another few seconds of silence, not uncomfortable, more just necessary to gather the nerves to carry on the conversation. “So you actually met someone, huh?”

“Hmm…could say that. More like…me and someone I’ve known a long time kind of…had a moment…and something changed…”

“Ah. Ok. Think I’m definitely going to lose that battle then.”

“What?”

“Well if it’s someone from Cervera you’ve known years I can’t imagine I know you well enough to tempt you.”

“Tempt me?!”

“Hmm…maybe a bit?” She smirked sideways at him again and then shrugged. “Just sex. I really wanted it. More of it.”

“Don’t…”

“See I can see you want to say yes…”

“Ohhh Bea please don’t…”

“Ha!”

“Please…”

“Oh baby I’ve heard that before.” She grinned at him and then rolled her eyes. “I won’t jump on you. But FYI if you jump on me I will definitely not push you off.”

“Pfff argghh I WANT TO.”

“Well, this other girl…is she going to give you this? Soon? Ever?”

“This…”

“Oh I think you know what I mean…”

Marc stared at her for a few seconds and then audibly gulped. _I don’t know. Not the same, ever. But anything? That’s on me. And that’s why this is so hard. Because what if I can’t? What if I’m still running away after a kiss, months down the line?! What if I get to Milan and want to turn round?_ “I don’t know.”

The suddenly honest tone made her frown and stand up slightly straighter. “You don’t know? I thought you were getting into a serious relationship or-“

“Don’t. I don’t know because…it’s complicated. Or it would be…and it’s scary.”

“Does she feel the same about you?”

“I think so.”

“You _think_ so?! God you must be saint!”

“Eh?”

“Well…sorry if I’m wrong but you don’t stop having fun with people until you have a talk with ONE person and say ‘ok, so this is a thing.’”

“I know. I just…I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“I doubt you’ll do that if it’s going to be serious. You’re single? No chat? Nothing decided?”

“Yeah…”

“And she could be doing the same thing right now, right?”

“Well…maybe? I don’t know. But-“

“But you wouldn’t like that.”

“No, I don’t think I would. Or…well…actually maybe not too bad. Maybe until I can…or could…er…” _Fuck fuck fuck._ “…er…be with her…”

_What?!_ “Why can’t you?”

“She, er…doesn’t live in Spain anymore.” _I’m sorry Dani, I’m keeping the pronoun._

“Right…but I guess it’s someone racing related if this all changed on the flyaways?”

“Yeah…”

“So…you spent 3 weeks just talking or what?!”

“Hey! Talking is good. And no, not just that. A bit more, but nothing major.”

“Ok seriously is she like…14 or something? Because you had me in bed within about 4 hours.”

“I know.” He grinned at her and wiggled his eyebrows. “I remember. Mostly.”

“Ha! See. So…?”

“No, nothing age related. God I wanted to come out here to escape for a few minutes and the grilling is worse than Tito!”

“Sorry.” She stuck her tongue out at him and shrugged. “I’m just interested since there’s a lot at stake.”

“Is there?”

“Well…at least two orgams.” She leaned in and blew some smoke at him, Marc automatically taking it in and keeping his eyes on hers, mirror of the moment from the first party, feeling his groin stir slightly. _No no no no…_ “Each.”

_No sex. No sex until I can. Months? Days? Weeks?_ “Stop it.” _Dani. Dani is a man. Sex with a man? Really? Spending my life without women again, ever? Wait, my life?! All of it? Or-_

“Make me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from the Spanish translation of the Oscar Wilde phrase about temptation: The best way to beat it is to give in to it.


	72. The Scars From Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title, bit more FOB. (Thanks to that Tumblr epicness from earlier ;))
> 
> And...well...los geht's...

“I can’t.”

“Can’t…”

“I can’t make you.” Faces close together, still, eyes burning into each other’s. _I can’t do anything._

“This is all very weird...”

“Hmm. It really is.” He suddenly pulled her into a hug and nestled his nose in her hair, relaxing, swell of horrible confusion starting to go away again, then suddenly returning. “It’s really weird and I’m freaking out. STILL. How?!”

_I think we’re talking about something else now._ “Freaking out?” _God you feel good, even just in a hug._

“Like I said it’s complicated…but it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t know if she wants me…I don’t know if I want her…I don’t know how it could ever work because of the situation, I don’t know if I can give her what she deserves…”

“Hey, it’s ok.” She flicked the cigarette butt away from them and wrapped her arms around him properly, feeling him move slightly to fit them together and both feeling a pang of something. “You really like her?”

“I don’t know.”

_You’re making no sense at all._ “You don’t know.” She felt him tense and then relax again as she gently moved her hands to inside the back of his hoody, fingers freezing, nothing much in it, just weirdly feeling relaxed enough to do that. _Intimate. No._ “You don’t know, but you’re stopping seeing other people on the off chance or what?”

“I don’t know if I like her…or how she makes me feel. Or…how I feel when I see how she treats me. I don’t know if it’s worth it, I don’t know why it feels so terrifying…”

“Marc?”

“Hmm?”

“Did I make you ask these things?”

“No.”

_Ouch._ “Oh.”

“No…I just…it was easier with you. Everything is easier with you. Once I could talk to you, anyway….”

_Everything is EASIER with me? But-_ “Ok…” She frowned slightly over his shoulder and then gave him a squeeze. “I’m puzzled, babychamp. Usually if it’s easier, it’s a good sign.”

“I can’t explain.”

“You don’t have to explain, it’s ok.”

“I’m sorry.”

_Oh my God._ She shut her eyes for a second as she realised he was actually on the verge of tears, biting her lip in another frown and grabbing on a bit tighter, hand going into his hair and fingers moving gently from side to side. “Shhh. Don’t be sorry. Don’t be anything. It’s freezing. Come here.” She pulled away and grabbed his hand, pulling him down to the other door back inside and then into the second bedroom, no one in the living room any wiser, standing and staring at each other. “Right. Are you ok?”

_No. Great? Horrible. Dreaming. In love with my teammate. Straight and lonely?_ “No. One minute I’m high on her, the next I just want to run…” _To you._

“Ok.” She tilted his chin up to meet his eyes and took a deep breath. “Look…maybe you’ll just laugh, but I have to ask because…well…I have reasons. You’re ok…as in…this isn’t something…bad…right?”

“Bad…”

“I mean…it’s not anything unhealthy. I mean, up here.” She gently tapped the side of his forehead and melted slightly as he leaned into it and her fingers ended up tracing a gentle line down his cheek. “You understand what I’m really immaturely getting at, right?”

“No, I mean…yeah I understand. My head is fucked but I’m not depressed or anything…genuine. I mean…I’m genuinely fucked, but no medical help needed.”

She smiled slightly at that and started to relax as he did the same. “Ok. Good. Now…what the fuck are you on about, Marquez?”

*

“Alex…” I leaned in and hoped no one else could hear the whisper. “They’ve been gone ages.”

“I know.” He shrugged at me slightly helplessly. “But if he wants to…”

“I know, I know. I just…he’s all over the place anyway and-“

“I know. Give me a minute.” He got up and kissed the top of my head before disappearing to ‘the bathroom’, realising what I had about the other door. _Maybe that was the point all along…?_

*

“I’m really sorry I pushed you now, I was just joking around and maybe a bit hurt. You know?”

“It’s ok. I know.” He turned and nodded, smiling, now both sat on the double bed leaning on the head board. “Sorry I’m being such a girl…”

“Pfff! Girl isn’t an insult, Marquez.”

“Jeje I know. Just knew you’d hate it.”

“Feeling better, then, I see.”

“Bit. The wine is definitely helping. Very foolish to stockpile the alcohol in here.”

“Jeje.” She nodded and clinked her own Rioja against his, a bottle each more because it felt funny rather than because they intended to drink it. “Word.”

“If we could just get a Playstation in here, I would be happy for days.” 

“Hmm…don’t think I’d last that long.”

“Last…?” He turned to look at her again and wiggled his eyebrows. “Hmm?”

“It’s not exactly a secret that you’re made of sex. So yeah, last.” She glared at him a second and then smiled. “Plus it’s your party, man. You should be in there destroying things in a stupid outfit, like normal.”

“Pff. That was once and I don’t think the damage was too bad?! Plus yeah I know…but…with Cheste coming and Alex’s title chance…seems a bit early for a real party. This was always going to be more low key. And it’s been nice. Just good people.” _Almost everyone._

“Which you are not. I mean…low key. You are good. Well actually no...”

“Fuck off.” He bumped shoulders with her and then cringed as a little splash of red wine hit the sheet between them, eyes widening. “Oohhh shit.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll just say it was my first time.”

That sent him bright red, loud and classicly reassuring _jajajajajaja_ echoing round the room, veil of normality back. “DON’T DO IT. God you’re worse than Livi.”

“Oh yeah. Definitely. Wayyyy worse than Livi. Nothing can make me blush.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

*

“They’re just talking I think. In the second bedroom…”

“Really?”

He nodded and shrugged at me slightly before leaning in to talk into my ear again. “Yeah I can hear voices…quiet…I think he might have freaked out again slightly outside.”

“Ah…think he’s told her?”

“Doubt it.”

“Really?!”

“Really. He wouldn’t tell anyone-“

“But he told me.”

“You’re different. He’d trust my judge of character before his, I think.”

“Really?”

“Really. Plus, you’re _mine._ ” He smiled and kissed my cheek. “So you’re safe.”

“I think that was a positive thing…”

“Yup.” 

“But I think he might, because I think he’ll crack. Especially with alcohol…”

He nodded and shrugged, then ducked as something flew at him, Tito grinning and shrugging with a little ‘eek’ face, me realising what it might have been and turning my glare on him.

“Duck…”

“What was that?!”

“Pedrosa cap. You’re being antisocial.”

I shot to my feet and growled. “DANI?!”

The Marc VDS rider looked equally terrified and amused, vibe the one I was going for. “Sorry..?”

“NOBODY THROWS DANI!”

*

“We should get back to the party.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Marc…”

“What?”

“This isn’t fair, come on. On me or on them. Or on you. Or this mystery woman…”

_Not it’s not fair. It’s not fair at all, because I had everything in the world and now I can’t even look in the mirror without wondering what I’m even seeing._ “Some things aren’t fair.” Melodrama was out in force, now half way through his bottle of wine, Bea less but slightly similar.

“They’re not. But this isn’t Lorenzo corner, freshly named…”

He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at her. “No it’s not, this is wayyyy more unfair.”

“More?!”

“Yup. You leave the door open, I don’t care who you are or where, I am going to try.”

“Even when the gap might be too small?” _Is your door open then, or what? You want me to try? You putting your hand resting against mine because you don’t want to say it?_

“ESPECIALLY WHEN THE GAP MIGHT BE TOO SMALL.” He grinned at the look on her face and nodded. “And _especially_ when it’s Jorge or Valentino.”

“You’re evil. Pure evil.”

“Me…? You’re the one who charmed me into bed.”

“Oh yeah I charmed you into this fully clothed emotional breakdown did I?”

_Ironically, yeah._ “Yep. Do you want to know a secret?”

“I want to know all of them.”

“Well then I’ll tell you the biggest one.” He put the bottle down on the side table and then suddenly scooped her up so she was sat on his lap, staring down, sudden change leaving her catching her breath. “The biggest secret…”

“Right…” _It’s his decision._

“But shhhhhhhhhhhh.” He smiled and pressed his index finger to her lips before tracing a line down her neck, over her collarbone, lower, flicking her nipple slightly and then sliding his fingers under her t shirt to the small of her back, drinking in the feeling of her shivering reaction. _This..._

“Marc…” _It’s his decision…_ She bit her lip as his hand slid lower. _His decision. No relationship. His decision. Just sex._

“Shh.” He shook his head and joined his second hand to the first. “Shhhhhhhh…the secret…is why I’m so confused…”

“Right…” _Me too._

“I’ll tell you if you kiss me.”

“I said I wouldn’t push you off, not-”

“Right.” He seemed to vaguely remember that and suddenly pulled them together into a kiss, hands now under her jeans, finding skin and realising she was wearing a thong, fingernails digging in and grinding them together, crotch already responding. _Oh God. This. I couldn’t live without this, could I?_ He moved his hands back up and unsnapped her bra, clothes on both now disappearing quickly, pausing as she did and answering the silent question on her face.

“The person I’m talking about is a _guy._ ”

He nodded at the shock and then pulled her in again, not wanting to think about anything else, not wanting to hear a response to the words, just a response to what he was doing. 

“But _shhhhh_.”

*

“Right…I think we assume young love is back on.” Tito looked at his watch and then shrugged. “Right?”

“Maybe…”

“Definitely. And I know this is supposed to be a party and the sun isn’t up yet but I’m really tired.”

“I’m really glad you said that.” Alex grinned at him and then looked round the room. “Are we all mature enough to admit we’re tired and go to sleep?”

Everyone nodded.

“Right.” He laughed and looked back at me. “Bed stuff?”

“Is in the same fucking place it was before when you asked.”

“Whipped.”

Alex glared at the offending wit-giver and then shook his head. “Other way round, mate.”

I internally face palmed and blushed, realising too late that _that_ completely validated the statement as something much more than sarcastic. _Fuck._ I watched my fiancé disappear into the hallway and shot to my feet to follow, laughter in my wake. _FUCK YOU ALL. THROWING DANI, LAUGHING. GOD._ I made it into our room and pushed Alex straight onto the bed, shock and lack of preparation seeing him bounce a foot off the mattress, _oof!_ and giggles pre-cursing a glare. “Hey!”

“Deserved.” I grinned at him and whacked his feet out the way before pulling out the under bed storage and starting to throw bedding at him, him not doing a bad job at gathering it up, and then manoeuvred the laden beast back to the living room, where he deposited it in a pile in the middle. 

“Right…should be enough stuff here if you all get naked and share body heat, too.”

*

_A guy. Fucking hell._ She moaned again as he turned them over and kissed a line down her neck, tongue flicking over the skin the only thing she’d really had on her mind since the text he’d sent the few days before, hoping more than anything this would happen, feeling guilty yes slightly given everything, but again, _it’s his decision. But-_ “You’re sure you-“

“Just sex?”

“Just sex.” _Because I’m not going to win this. And I should definitely walk away right now and tell you you’re probably in love with him, whoever the lucky fucker is._

“Then yeah. Yes yes yes yes yes...”

_Because you’ve had too much to drink and I pushed when I thought it was-_ She closed her eyes and blasted that thought far, far away as his tongue carried on lower and found her clit, hand grabbing a handful of hair and desperately trying not to scream. _Maybe the lucky fucker is me._ "Marc..."

_Shhhh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see  
> That you’re the antidote to everything except for me..."


	73. Friends, Lovers or Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (another) John Mayer song...
> 
> thank you ♥
> 
> Let me know?
> 
> And more Alex and Olivia soon! #neglected ;)

_My lips are sealed about this if you want them to be. And the real secret will always be safe :) I think this was a mistake. I think it was more than sex for me since the moment I let you relax me to sleep but I didn’t want to admit that so I smiled through it and was…a bit of a bitch. At first, and last night…then I think I hope I helped, and then I made another mistake, or we did. That shouldn’t have happened. If you’re confused…I understand (really ;))…but I’m not going to make anything simpler. Whoever he is, he’s very lucky. And I’ll let you in on another secret: love doesn’t give a shit what you’ve got in between your legs. Even with you… ;) jeje._

_Friends? I think we really could be. No more sex, no more anything for a while. Then friends, I hope._

_Have an amazing race in Valencia, I’ll be cheering (partly ;)) for you. It’s been incredible to get to know you, and I’m sorry I didn’t let you in. But then, maybe it’s a good thing._

_Now…you’re Marc Marquez. SO JUST GO AND DO IT. ;)_

_Bea xxx_

_PS top tip: if he turns you on, the problem is in your head and it WILL fade and become amazing, if it’s the right person. In my experience. (that’s another one I ran from in the end. Got to do something about that! :/ she was a stunner too :( )_

_♥_

He read it a few times and then buried his face back in the pillow. _FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK._ And then picked up his phone and bit his lip.

Dani: _Good party?_

Dani: _Pfff obviously :P_

Dani: _Ok I give up :P see you tomorrow, please don’t be hungover enough to vomit on me! Xxxx_

He read them again a few times and then sat up, white hot panic flashing over him, guilt heavy and settling like evil snow. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

*

“It’s me. I’m at the airport…sorry I wasn’t replying.”

_“You ok?”_

“Hmm…no…?” He rested his forehead against the back of the toilet stall door, knowing that was gross and not caring, bout of bravery not bound to last long and making him blurt it out. “I fucked up really badly.”

_“What?!”_

“I fucked up. I fucked everything up. Maybe. I don’t know. I thought it was a good idea…well no, I kind of knew it was a bad idea but I was so…I don’t know. Bit drunk. But you weren’t there and she was and…”

Dani felt his blood run slightly colder and ground his teeth together, shocked in some ways, horribly proven right in a few others, all of it very painful. _Oh. “Ok, I’ll see you later. Have a good flight.”_ He cancelled the call and closed his eyes for a few seconds, taking in a few gulps of air. _Knew it. Fucking knew it._ He started the engine again, about to have been setting off, and changed the music to something that fitted the new mood, zoning it out and trying to ignore it until it finally came back and bit him, hand whacking the steering wheel in frustration as he crossed the border, destination closer and closer, Marc somehow further. _I knew it. I knew._

*

_Oh God._ The pain of confusion didn’t really match up to the pain of hearing the curt sign off and the phone going dead. _Oh please don’t say I’ve fucked this up. Please._

He nodded and smiled his way through the cursory human contact until he was sat on the plane, staring out the window, Hector’s arm accidentally hitting his and sending another wave of regret through him at the memory of which one it should be, landing and collecting luggage in the same daze, desperate to be stood face to face with him to try and say anything that would matter but equally, again, but for different reasons, desperate to just run. _Run run run run…_

Marc: _Sorry it’s a fucking mess. And the note was very good…thanks? You know what I mean. And…I appreciate the offer but I have to be honest if it’s going to work I think…hope you agree?_

Bea: _Nah it’s ok. Or, we’re fine. You’ll be ok…can be rescued I think. And I think that says a lot…feel free to tell him, although warn me if he’s going to come around here and attack my merch ;)_

Marc: _Thanks again…I hope you’re right! And nah course not, Dani’s way too nice for any Jordi stunts, even if I ran off with you! ;) :/_

He sent that, felt it buzz again in his pocket, and then _panicked._

Bea: _I’m sorry…DANI?!!! FUCKING DANI PEDROSA???!!!!!!!_

_OH MY FUCKING GOD._ He stopped dead and stared down at the phone, more shocked at the lapse in concentration than the response, heart still dropped to the floor, sheen of sweat on his forehead. _FUCK. Oh my GOD. FUCK._

Marc: _Well I hope you’re as trustworthy as you seem, because yeah. Him, me, Alex and Livi know. Now you._

Bea: _DANI! :O and…God I feel evil now?! :/ but also…DANI!!! :D_

Marc: _This isn’t quite the reaction I was expecting…_

Bea: _Your secret is safe with me. And…if it’s Dani, you’re definitely going to be able to fix it. And it is definitely, definitely worth it._

Marc: _What the fuck do I say?_

Bea: _Try the truth. :) I think that will be enough._

Marc: _Ok…and sorry, again._

Bea: _Sorry?!_

Marc: _You said you had feelings…I’m asking you for advice for someone else…_

Bea: _I’ll live. So will you! Let me know?_

Marc: _You’re so hard to figure out seriously :P and yeah, if you want?_

Bea: _I want to check I’ve not ruined anything, I want to know you’re happier, and I want you to know you can talk to me about anything if you want, no it’s not horribly painful or anything. Like I said. Friends?_

Marc: _Sounds like a good deal. And I’m here now, so I guess here goes. Thanks._

Bea: _Thank you for the orgasms, shame it had to end. Now go and pass them on to someone else ;)_

Marc: _Don’t…_

Bea: _remember my top tip: turned on = yes. K?_

Marc: _Hmm…_

And then he was walking into the room, meeting his teammate’s gaze, too many people around to really say anything, just feeling his chest cave in at the look on his face. _I’m so, so sorry._

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Talk later, please?”

“Maybe.”

Marc watched him go and took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out and then nodding to himself. _Fix it. It’s done, so all I can do is try and fix it._

They sat at different ends of the table for the first time in a long time, dinner conversation holding neither of their attentions very long, everyone else kind of noticing but skirting around it, before Dani was the first to go back to his room, no glance, no nothing in Marc’s direction, leaving the younger rider to wait 5 minutes and then go the same way, joking through the last few minutes of public appearance before feeling his heart drop again as he got in the lift and pushed the button. _Please let me in._ The ride up felt like an hour, until finally he was stood there, hand hovering and poised, ready, heart hammering, before the door opened and Dani stared at him for a few seconds, taking in the look on his face, everything he was obviously trying to say, and then nodding behind himself and holding the door open for him to walk past.

_You let me in at least._ “I’m sorry.”

“Right...”

“I’m sorry. It was a mistake, and part of me was just trying to prove that _this_ isn’t real. I had something to drink, and we were talking. I talked myself into the idea that I was straight, again. I talked myself into the idea of just sex being fine, because we – me and you - hadn’t talked about this. Or anything, really. But I know it was wrong because I know it would hurt the other way round. So I’m sorry, and I promise you I’m not that guy. I don’t cheat.”

“I just don’t know if I can keep-“

“You don’t have to keep doing anything. I do. I’m sorry. I can feel what I’m doing and I know it’s not fair.”

“Look…like you said, it’s not like we talked or decided anything, ok? You didn’t cheat on me, I know that, and I weirdly still kind of trust that you wouldn’t. But…I just think…well, I just worry that you like me as a friend, and you’re lonely, and this is too easy to-“

“No. No, no, no.” The younger rider shook his head and took a step forward, taking a deep breath and locking his eyes on his teammate’s. “I promise, it’s not that. I promise it’s more than that. And that’s scarier now, ok?”

“What?”

“The scariest thing is how much more. I don’t know…I mean…physically I’m really nervous. But…I’m so scared of this because it’s already so important.”

“Right…”

“So…can we…can you…try and forget about this? Or at least…I’ll say…I won’t do it again…” _And please say you won’t..?_

Dani studied him for a good few seconds before obviously having found whatever he was looking for. “Ok. And I won’t. If you mean it.”

“I mean it.”

_I think you do, now. I actually think you do?_ “Ok. I do as well. Now…” _You’re really not-_

“I know. That would be too much.” Marc smiled at him and leaned in to press a gentle kiss on his lips, smiling into it, both feeling a weight lift, resting their foreheads together for a split second, breath heavy, intensity suddenly much more, before the younger rider pecked him on the lips one more time, kisses at least now feeling comfortable if not like being set on heavenly fire. _I think…I think…don’t think that..._ “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. See you in the morning...”

“Yup.” He paused in the doorway and smiled at him again, intense gratitude really starting to hit him, relief giving it a run for its money. _If you weren’t so-_ “Goodnight…”

“Go!” More than the hint of a smile. “There’s no way you’re sleeping in here.”

“I know, I know.” Marc nodded back and mirrored the smile, both slightly rueful, finally turning to his own door and letting Dani’s shut. "Promise."

_I know._


	74. Light 'em Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in Valencia, and this is what I did with the last hour ;) ♥
> 
> Enjoy??
> 
> *nerves*

Marc: _The bed is cold!_

Dani: _You’re not sleeping in here!_

The younger rider read that and then grinned to himself, more needing the communication than actually thinking he’d be successful, and then sent it again.

Marc: _The bed is cold!_

Dani: _You’re not sleeping in here!_

Marc: _But…my bed is empty. :(_

Dani: _Yes and you will not be sleeping in here :P_

Marc: _Hi Dani…just FYI my bed feels empty :( …any ideas?_

Dani: _How are you making ME feel guilty?_

Marc: _Oooh is it working?_

Dani: _No I just feel guilty. My bed is extra comfortable today, no assholes in it :P_

Marc: _Ouch :(_

Dani: _Stop sending sad faces :(_

Marc: _But I’m sad…_

Marc: _…because my bed…._

Marc: _Is COLD. :( :( :(_

Dani: _Pure evil. Go to sleep._

Marc: _But…_

Dani: _If you dare…_

Marc: _Perfect opportunity to say… I dare. ;) have breakfast with me?_

Dani: _You seemed a bit different._

Marc: _I think I am a bit. Because it was wrong…I mean yeah obviously, but I mean it felt wrong. And breakfast? ;)_

Dani: _If I say yes will you let me go to sleep?_

Marc: _Maybe tonight. ;)_

Dani: _Stop it I’m trying to be mad at you._

Dani: _And yeah breakfast. Room service?_

_I think he’s going to forgive me. Please._

Marc: _730? And yes. Your room or mine?_

Dani: _Yours. I’ll see you there._

Marc: _:D night Dani. Sorry. Xxxxx_

Dani: _Like I said if you mean it it will be ok. Night xxxx_

The younger nodded to himself and then took a deep breath. _Yup. This is actually making me have butterflies now. Just the thought of you knocking on my door._

He set the alarm extra early to give himself time to hopefully look awake, unaware of Dani doing the same across the hall, and then finally actually went to sleep.

*

_It can’t look like I got up an hour early._ One thought, two heads. _It has to look like I just look like this anyway. And smell this good. And wake up tasting of toothpaste. Which was pointless because I’m about to eat. Probably?_

_Tasting._

Marc stood back and checked himself out, reasonably satisfied, and jumped as there was a knock on the door, catching his own eye again for a bit of last minute bravery; going and pulling it open.

“Hi.” _Wow._

“Morning.” _Wow._

“Come in…” Marc grinned at him and swept his arm back to usher him in, feeling another bundle of nerves slowly start to unravel. _He came. He looks like maybe he also got up early._ “Sleep ok?”

“No.” The older rider scowled at him slightly and then smiled. “I think you know why.”

“You mean-“

“No I mean your text tormenting.”

“Ah, ok. Then…not sorry?” He grinned at him and they both sort of gravitated back to the bed. _Hmm…er…_ “Back to bed? We have an hour.”

“I know. And yeah.” Dani nodded and smiled at him, properly, and then sat himself down, pulling the duvet over his jeans and grinning as he was observed. “Don’t…”

“You just look cute. Can I say that?”

_Cute._ The older rider’s heartrate went back up to 290bpm. _Cute._ “You can say whatever you want.”

 

“Good.” Marc followed suit and got in the other side, starting on some toast, both smiling to themselves, moment of heaven away from the Honda duties of the day. _Best breakfast ever._ “Because you are.”

“Stop it.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m hungry and it’s very distracting.”

“Ok, 10 minutes food, then…50 minutes…not food. Sound good?”

“Hmm what is not food?”

“Wait and see.” _And I will try and figure that out._

Dani’s mouth dropped open slightly before he caught himself and then nodded. _Hmm. Ok then._ “Sounds good.”

*

“Alex…Alex…”

“You can blantantly see I’m playing.”

“I think you’ll want to turn round.”

“Was that supposed to be in a sexy voice?”

“Yes.”

“Ok.” I could see him grin to himself in the reflection on the door outside before he sighed, faking that for definite, and then put the controller down and turned round. “Woowwwwwww…”

“You like?”

“I’m SO GLAD you made me turn round…”

“Told you.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“Just you.”

“And people wonder why I want to commit to you forever…”

_Aww._ “Oh do they?”

“You know they do and I’ll never understand it.”

“Hopefully no just bec-“

“No, not just because of this. Because of the thought behind this.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He was now stood right in front of me, eyes wide and gleaming at the admittedly very expensive but also very worth it underwear. “Now…”

“Now ravish me.” I grinned and nodded at the evil little smirk, then made my eyes as round and innocent as possible. “Please…?”

*

“So…”

“So I will move the tray.” Marc grinned at the look on his teammate’s face and then did just that, bouncing back onto the bed and feeling his heart start to hammer again before turning back to him and taking a deep breath. “Dani…”

“Yes…”

“I’m still scared. But…ok…Bea gave me some good advice. I accidentally told her it was you. It’s done, we’re friends and nothing else. Both fine with that. Well…me happy about it. But she said, basically…if you turn me on, the problem is in my head.”

_Is that a challenge, or…?_ “Right…and she can keep a s-“

“Yeah, I trust her.”

“Right…”

“Kiss me. Again? Like-“

Dani moved forward and pressed their lips together before his teammate could finish the words, hand cupping his face, other hand moving round him to pull him in, ending up lying side by side, like they had done before, Dani now not caring about what else Marc felt, bodies flush against each other, kiss deepening as he got braver, Marc got braver, and his tongue was let in. _No one else has felt like this._ He ran his hand down Marc’s side, feeling him shiver under the touch, and then gently moved his finger under his t shirt, fingers cool against the skin of his teammate’s back, feeling Marc push towards him rather than away, nibbling his lip and moaning again as Dani saw that as permission to do the same. _Was that a challenge?_ He could feel his own jeans getting tighter, friction between them slight but real, skin itching with the need to rid himself of his jeans; knowing Marc wasn’t ready for that. _Will he ever-_ The thought got cut off as Marc’s hand mirrored his own and found its way under his t shirt, assured this time, pulling him in, forcing the friction to grow, arousal now obvious for them both. _Challenge met?_ He wondered how far to take it, content to lie there forever if necessary, Marc’s kiss sending electricity through him he’d never felt before, before finally his teammate broke away, leaving them forehead to forehead, panting, Marc’s eyes suddenly opening and fixing on Dani’s, black through and through. “More.”

“More?”

“More.”

The older rider leaned in again, that moment when their lips went from hovering closer to actually meeting one he’d like to have recorded to replay whenever he needed to feel like he could do anything, tongues meeting each other again, slight taste of blood swirling around them through the sounds of the kiss, room so quiet other than that, both of them even more turned on by being able to hear so clearly the reactions of the other, every gasp and moan echoing around them until Marc’s fingers danced lower again, as they had before, tentatively pushing under the waistband of Dani’s jeans, smiling into the kiss at the reaction that shot through him, groaning again as Dani did the same, further, slipping his hand under the fabric of his boxers and fingernails digging in, pulling their crotches tight together, little explosion of mindblown, happy shock ricocheting from the younger.

“Dani…”

His name was almost enough to not need any more physical contact. “Hmm…stop me if you want me to.”

“No. More…” 

Dani felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up at how needy that sounded, confident for the first time ever that maybe today the playing field was more level, and nodded against him as he slowly pulled his hand out and back between them, hovering over the button to Marc’s jeans, kiss deepening again as Marc pushed against him, that all the signal he needed to snap it open, zip down, and feel a shiver at the reaction gasp from his teammate, pausing again, not wanting to rush, letting the kiss continue before he took a mental deep breath and gently moved his hand back, under the denim, over the cotton of Marc’s boxers, feeling the erection under his fingers and feeling his own painfully straining against his jeans. _Jesus. He’s not running._ He was moaning though, kisses messier and wetter, needy, almost wailing into Dani’s mouth as he moved his hand again, more confident at the way the younger rider was unravelling and seemingly enjoying it, finally daring to push him down into the pillow and straddle him, crotch to crotch, Marc’s face like something out of a dream, guard down, forehead covered in a thin sheen of sweat, eyes staring back up at him, nothing on his face except lust and affection. _My God. I think I do love you._ “Ok?”

Marc ground his hips up and pulled his head back down for a kiss, nodding, still desperate for something to ease the tension, and then lay there panting as Dani pulled away again, realising what he was going to do as the line of kisses and bruises down his neck moved lower, tongue flicking his nipple, grazing over his stomach and then tracing a line of saliva above the hem of his boxers. “Just say stop if you want to.”

The younger rider tangled his hand gently in Dani’s hair and met his eyes with a smile, not a dirty smirk, more just happy, blissful surprise and contentment at the answer. “I don’t want you to stop. Ever.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Dani smiled back, shock dissolving, and kissed the same line, teasing slightly, feeling the way Marc’s grip changed in his hair, before finally he tugged his jeans down and ghosted his mouth over the soft cotton layer left in between them, Marc’s hips bucking up at him as he did, changes in pressure almost making his writhe on the bed. “Dani please…”

Another shiver shot down the older rider’s spine at the words before he tucked a finger into each side of the waistband of his boxers, gently pulling them down, Marc’s eyes now tight shut, that bad or good Dani didn’t know, and felt a quick fire replay of all the moments he’d wanted this, or something similar, flash through his brain. He took another mental deep breath, listening to the younger rider’s breathing panting through the air, chest heaving, and then took his cock into his mouth, slowly, listening to the low, guttural growl echo down to him and feeling his hair suddenly pulled. “God, Dani…”

He circled the tip with his tongue, hand pressing on Marc’s stomach to stop his hips bucking up to meet him too much, swallowing him down again and moaning himself at the noise, increasing the pressure, increasing the rhythm, hand daring to cup his balls and knowing that was a good decision as a chain of expletives littered the air, hand in his hair still tugging, responding to the actions, head pressed back into the pillow, back arched, noises getting needier and louder, pressure building, his other hand now curled into the sheets so tightly his knuckles were white, wailing again as Dani took him deeper again, choking out the word close, lost to the world, muscles in his neck taught before he finally groaned again and came down his throat, teammate’s name growled into the room again, muscles spasming as he came down from it, breath hot and chest still heaving, eyes still closed, panting and still moaning to himself as he finally let go of Dani’s hair and seemed to collapse further into the bed, strung out, not moving as Dani moved back up to the pillow, not moving for a full couple of minutes, the older rider just watching him lie there, face so flushed and relaxed, breathing slowly returning to normal, then suddenly sensing Dani was there and turning towards him, eyes still closed, nuzzling into his neck, fingers tugging on his t shirt to pull him closer, satisfied once he was curled up next to him and felt his arm go back round him, leaning up to press a gentle kiss on his lips.

“I’m sorry I can’t…I mean…you….“

“No, it’s ok.” The older rider moved them slightly so they fit better and pressed a kiss into Marc’s hair. “It’s ok.” _Right now, I will lie here until we can’t anymore, and just watch you looking like this forever._

_But then I will probably have to deal with it._


	75. This Isn't Racing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Replies in a bit, dinner first ♥
> 
> Probably another chapter, we shall see! Thank you!!!!

“Marc…” Dani let the word whisper through the air between them and gently nudged his teammate, who had been worryingly quiet and wrapped around him since he’d had him writhing and panting for more, nothing said about it, clock counting down. _We should have waited. This could be a whole night just here, nothing to move for…_ “Are you ok?”

“Hmm.” The smallest nod moved them both slightly before the arm wrapped around Dani moved down his back and nestled in his back pocket like a lovestruck teenager. The gesture made the older rider’s breath catch slightly, so at home compared to the fear of before, just holding him there and almost reassuring. “So good. I don’t want to move.”

The throbbing desperation in Dani’s jeans had actually gone away after a while, the situation he was in now taking precedent, not even that enough to make him want to move. “Me neither, but we have to go soon.”

“I know.” Marc’s eye fluttered back open and stared into his teammate’s, smile starting to play on his lips. “We should definitely have stuck to the kissing.” He watched as Dani’s face fell and then leaned in for a reassuring kiss. “No, I mean…I need time, which we don’t have now. Later maybe we will. And I can be less…selfish? Again.”

_Seriously, seriously, seriously._ “Oh…”

“Oh?”

“Good oh. Don’t want to rush you.”

“I’m ok.” Marc nodded and pressed their lips together again. “I’m more than ok. Ok?”

“Good.” Dani let himself breathe him in for a couple more minutes, eye to eye on the pillow and smiling, little kisses when Marc moved, finally pulling him in again and running his tongue along his bottom lip, 5 minutes of another breathtaker leaving them gasping for air and then ruefully sitting up. “Right…”

“New Honda. Milan.”

“New Honda, Milan.”

“Later? Are you flying back?”

“No…driving back home then flying to Valencia tomorrow night.”

“Oh.” 

“You’re leaving today?”

“Meant to be.”

“The invite still stands.”

“How would I explain?”

“You know you really don’t have to explain everything if you don’t want to. You’re 21 and the World Champion. Just tell them you changed your mind and you’re going to try out a track near my house or something.”

“I guess…I mean…I _hope_ …they might have to get used to us being a bit more social?”

Dani studied him for a few seconds and then smiled, every new step in the right direction like a dream. “I hope so too.”

*

“I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Neither do I.”

“Please stop crying.”

“Bit late for that.”

“Livi…I’m sorry, ok? I’m sorry but I still believe what I said.”

“Well then maybe tonight is one of those nights you should go back _home_.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“You promised.”

“I promised that if you wanted some freedom I’d disappear for a while. That’s not what this is.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s just another excuse, to be honest.” He shrugged at the look on my face and nodded. “It’s just another excuse so I leave you alone, and that’s not what it’s for.”

“That’s a no, then.”

“Yes, it’s a no. You’re not throwing me out of where I live just because you don’t like the truth.”

The last few words seemed to fly through the space between us and hit me straight in the chest, making me blub unceremoniously and then nod, stalking past him and slamming out the back door into the garden, peace and quiet like heaven and hell at the same time. _Sorry I didn’t realise rules only applied when YOU wanted._

*

Marc: _Changed it. :) Geneva here we come!_

Dani: _Really?? Can’t wait :) any awkward questions?_

Marc: _Not too bad. I just played the ‘I went to Bangkok for you people!’ card and it was fine :)_

Dani: _:) so you’re driving back up with me?_

Marc: _Yes. No distractions until tomorrow afternoon :) I can’t wait tbh…do people in Geneva recognise us?_

Dani: _We can’t hold hands or anything ;) but no, not usually. That’s why I live there :)_

Marc: _22 hours of holiday then :)_

*

“Livi, please come inside. It’s cold.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re shivering.”

“Yeah I am, and I chose to so I will if I want to. Ok?”

“Oh, fine.”

The door slammed shut again and I lit another cigarette. _FINE._

*

“Freeeeeedom!” Marc plonked himself in the passenger side and smiled, snuggling down in the seat, eyes closed and satisfied sigh. “22 hours of holiday!”

“Wasn’t too bad though.”

“Nah, it wasn’t too bad.” The younger rider cracked one eye open and trained it on Dani, cheeky smile irrepressible through tiredness or nerves. “Good bike.”

“Good bike.” His teammate grinned and nodded, both genuinely impressed with what they’d been charged with unveiling, and then started the engine, passing his Ipod to Marc almost automatically, letting him choose the music, and then smiling to himself as his hand on the gear lever was covered with another, briefly and wary of prying eyes, but just enough for his heart to do a little jump. _Marc, driving home with me, to stay in my house, and probably…(definitely?) in my bed. 22 hours of holiday._

*

“Ok.” The door opened again and he came to stand next to me, holding out a hoody with a hopeful, mournful face. “Please, please come back inside or put this on, and please let’s talk.”

“You’ve said enough.”

“I think I’m right, and I’m saying it because I want to help you.”

“I didn’t say you were being mean, it’s just not up to you.”

“But you say the thing that bothers you most is how it might affect me, right?”

“Yeah but the when and where is different.”

“No, it’s not. I know you’re scared but you can’t run away from it.” He tentatively lifted my left hand and played his fingers over the ring. “You’re going to be a Marquez aren’t you? So you can’t run.”

“This isn’t racing.”

“Neither was seeing double for 5 months. You can’t turn it off.”

“Alex…”

“You know I’m right.”

I took a deep breath and threw my cigarette away before finally feeling myself cave in and turn to him, face buried violently in his chest, sobbing again, nodding again. “I know but-“

“No buts.” Voice still calm but a lot softer, arms going round me and gently pulling me back inside. “Let’s go and eat, get on the sofa and just talk about it. Ok?”

I nodded again and took a few deep breaths. “O-ok.”

*

“I need the toilet.”

“I didn’t know this was going to be like having a pet.”

“Hey! It’s only the second time. Plus I drank that whole bottle of water.”

“I know, I know. Which if you remember I said-“

“Don’t drink that whole bottle of water.” Marc nodded and grinned to himself before shooting Dani a glare. “But I’m 21 years old and the World Champion so I don’t have to explain…”

_I knew you’d taken that in. Good._ “Should I regret saying that?”

“No I think you’re safe.”

“I know.” Dani risked a quick sideways smile and nodded. “It’s true. Sometimes you should say no. PR can be ok but you need a life.”

“Hmm, I know. Championship’s done though, so…”

“So you’ve earned a few ‘no’s’.”

“When I’m a diva I’ll blame you…”

“Well yeah, credit where credit’s due.” The older rider smiled at him as he parked up, both getting out and stretching slightly, on the home straight. _Really hope I left it as tidy as I remember._

“That rhymed.”

The younger rider poked him in the side and Dani found himself taking a quick look around to check for observers and then risking a quick slap on the ass. “Shut up.”

They managed to keep it PR friendly inside, until Marc followed him round to the driver’s side and pinched his left ass cheek, hard, lips pressed against his ear and voice low.

“That was playing dirty, Pedrosa.”


	76. The Reality Is The Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI the medical stuff is not really well researched, it's for a storyline purpose, kind of like Gasos. Maybe slight warning for that, not so much in this but coming up?
> 
> And also FYI THANK YOU! ♥

_And here we are. And he’s not here because he was told to be, not here because we have an event, not here along with 25 other people. He’s just here, with me, because he wants to be._ Dani pushed open the front door with more nerves than he’d ever done it with before, holding it open for Marc, normally letting him through first but aware he needed to get the light and not just push him head first into the darkness. He found the light, fascinated by the way Marc’s eyes were wandering around the house, eyes shining and interested in everything, every single interior décor decision he’d made suddenly making Dani squirm slightly, wondering what it said about him, suddenly realising how far in he’d literally just let the younger rider.

“You like it?”

“It’s amazing.” Big grin. “So nice. I’m seriously rethinking Cervera right now!”

_He obviously means moving out of home, not moving in with me. But the thought._ “Yeah I’m impressed you’re still there to be honest. But…I can see the attraction.”

“I worry everyone’s going to _see the attraction_ …”

“Wow you really are feeling brave?!”

“Maybe a bit.” He nodded, suddenly more serious, and then accepted a beer from Dani, following him through onto a sofa and sitting next to each other, the older rider staring sideways at him and grinning. “What?!”

“Just you. Here…”

“I know. Bit crazy, eh? In a good way.”

“Can we talk about this morning?”

Suddenly red cheeks. “Um…yeah?”

“You ok?”

“Ok?!”

“I mean…it wasn’t too far…?”

“Don’t make me talk about this.” The younger rider stared down into his beer, blushing and grinning to himself. “I’ve had flashes of weird panic all day but in general, no…best orgasm of my life. Ok?”

_Wow he’s actually talking. And WOW at what he’s actually saying._ “I think more than ok…” _I think I love you._

“Like I said…I’m still kind of…not sure what I’m doing. But I didn’t stop thinking about it all day and we just drove here from Milan just to be alone for 22 hours, right?”

_On the same page now, then._ “Yeah…” _The best page in the world._

“So why are you sat so far away?”

*

“Ok…so…”

“So.” I gulped slightly, aware of the state of my face, and then took a deep, calming breath and he ran a thumb under one eye to catch some errant make up, now sat face to face cross legged on the big sofa, both in jogging bottoms and hoodies, both a bit of a comfy mess. “So I don’t want to call because I don’t want to hear what they might say.”

“I know. Understandable.”

“And I don’t want to talk about it until I know she’s going to be ok, either. Because everything went well but I…I can’t relax. I won’t relax for about 5 years…”

“I know.”

“And I don’t want to really know anything else. I don’t want to be haunted by statistics or prognoses or anything else because it’s not just me and you, it’s her as well and I don’t want to live under that cloud.”

“But…”

“But this is already a cloud. I know.”

“So…”

“So I’m being pathetic.”

“Nothing like pathetic.” He suddenly seemed to decide that we weren’t close enough and pulled me down so my head was on his chest, fingers in my hair. “Nothing like pathetic, that was never ever what I was trying to say. I can just…tell. Not all the time, but I can feel it there, and I can feel you take an extra deep breath sometimes, see you reply to your parents with slightly gritted teeth…it’s worse. Not knowing is worse.”

“I-I know.”

He nodded and kissed my hair before pulling his phone out his pocket and putting it on his chest, next to my face. “Then let’s do it. I’m right here, and nothing changes except what we know. The reality is the same.”

_The reality is the same._ I nodded and took another breath before pushing the phone back into his pocket and pulling out mine, number already there and waiting, teasing me, pressing dial and putting in on speaker, back onto his chest, waiting for it to connect. _The reality is the same._

*

“I’m just going to say again, now…just say stop if you want to. I understand. Anything at all…”

“I know. I trust you.”

“I know.” _And it’s wonderful._ Dani finally nodded at him and moved his arm onto the back of the sofa, Marc taking that as the signal it was intended to be, moving over and curling around him, the older rider switching on the TV and finding something randomly entertaining to watch, Spanish channels on satellite, pressing a kiss into Marc’s hair almost by accident and then feeling himself melt as a happy sigh echoed up to greet him, his teammate’s hand resting lightly on his stomach, fingers doing the same subconscious dance Dani’s had on the small of his back, just a little more contact. _It’s wonderful._

*

“You’re focusing on the positives.”

“Yup.”

“You’re worrying me.”

“Why?”

“Because I can see right through it.”

“Oh, you know. It’s fine.”

“Livi…”

“Don’t.” I got up and shook my head, already 3 steps towards the bedroom. “I need to just…” _Rewind and not text you back, and let you end up with someone 8 years younger who loves you as much as I do. And who can give you what you want. Is that possible, or is soulmates a real thing?_ “I’m going to bed.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Where else are you going to go?”

“’Home’.”

“I didn’t mean that, baby. I’m sorry.” I left it at that and carried on walking, cursory brush of my teeth, facewipe and quick moisturiser instead of anything proper, leaving my clothes in a pile at the foot of the bed and then getting in, weird without him there, knowing he would follow, wondering if that was good or bad. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before I heard him in the bathroom, same quick run through as me, appearing in the halo of light as he opened the door without looking at me, switching the darkness back on and feeling his way into the sheets next to me without anything said, waiting a few seconds to see if I’d move, realising I wasn’t going to, sighing softly to himself and then doing it for me, fingers lacing through mine. 

“Like I said, the reality is the same. Get the tests done, see where we are, and then we’ll see what we do.”

_Yeah, simple._

“And I know we both want kids but the important bit isn’t making them, you know? Not for me, anyway. Raising them is everything.”

_You’re perfect but you shouldn’t have to choose._

“Livi please please don’t go quiet.”

I gulped slightly and then let the same inappropriate streak that had first got us in this mess run free. “But what about your Marquez super-genes…”

“My Marquez super-genes are worth nothing compared to how amazing it would be to have this with you, ok?”

I felt my heart crack slightly and nodded, wondering if I was imagining the way he was saying it, as though it hurt more than the usual sound advice he gave me, and then tried to nod and agree. “Ok.”

“Please don’t stay over there.”

I took another deep breath and nodded again, moving over, feeling the relief flood off him in waves, and then lay there for about 4 hours thinking, head moving up and down on his chest in the gentle rhythm of his breath, sometimes wanting to grab on so tightly I was worried it would hurt, sometimes wanting to get up, pack, and disappear.

_But until after Cheste, we’re not going to talk about this again. Because that is bigger. That’s 18 years of work. And your Marquez super-genes._

*

Eventually the TV was forgotten and it was another session stealing each other’s breath, hands within the same boundaries as before, before Marc broke away and stared down at him, eyes black. “Bed.”

“Bed.”

“Bed. We need more space.”

“Are you-“

“Don’t know but fuck, Dani. _Fuck._ ” He spoke half of that around his teammate’s tongue again, noises getting needier, hands tugging at him to get up, pulling them up off the sofa and towards the stairs, feeling the eagerness coming back at him and feeling his jeans get tighter, fear overwhelming but suddenly joined by excitement, nervous but real, finally finding themselves pushing the door to the bedroom open and ending up by the bed, Dani sitting on the edge and pushed down into the sheets as Marc kept going, eventually straddling him, kiss still strong and purposeful, the prologue to something rather than a one shot story before he ran away. “Dani..”

“Yeah…” 

“Anything I want to do, you want it, right?”

“Anything.” _Sound less desperate…._

“Ok.” Marc’s eyes flashed at his before his fingers curled around the bottom of his teammate’s t shirt and he pulled it off, eyes running over the skin, picking out little scars, fascinated by the muscles and the sight of it, almost distracted by that as Dani leaned up and pulled his t shirt off, similar eye wandering and appreciation, Marc pressing them together again in another kiss and feeling his arousal grow as skin met skin, everything suddenly seeming more real but this time better for it, pressing their crotches together and both groaning, before Dani felt the hesitation perfectly and pushed against him, turning them over and taking the upper hand back, unsnapping Marc’s jeans quickly, fly down, pulling them off, no hesitation on his face to make him pause, nervous apprehension only, lust even more, nodding slightly as Dani stopped, stood next to the bed now, eyes locked together, hair ruffled, face serious, eyes wide and searching in only the way Dani’s could be, hand paused on the button of his own jeans in a silent question.

_Up to you._

And then a nod, nothing said, so simple, and Dani stepped out of them faster than he could have done for a million euros. _Fucking hell. Fucking hell._ He crawled back up Marc so they were face to face again, thin layer of cotton now the only thing between them, both groaning into another, copper-tasting kiss as he lowered himself down and pressed them together again, Marc’s hands raking down his back, fingerprint bruises that would leave traces for a while, air heavy with the noise of each moan and gasp as they moved against each other, Dani now letting himself go and trust his instincts that this was wanted, honestly, sucking bruises down Marc’s neck and feeling his skin tingle under his tongue, feeling his own skin flash white hot and shiver as the hands on his back moved lower and cupped his ass, pulling him down, roughly, both grunting at the new friction and Marc starting to squirm again, expletives coming back, forehead shiny with sweat, eyes closed for the most part but shining midnight black whenever they opened for a second, finally, moving his hands to Dani’s hips and pausing them, lying there panting, staring up at him, trying to communicate that it wasn’t a bad thing, it was just a question, taking a deep breath. “I’m not ready for…everything.”

“Ok.” The sight staring back at him was enough to cause an Earthquake in his groin. “That’s ok.”

“But these need to come off.” Marc lunged up and nipped the older rider’s lip as his fingers snapped the elastic waistband of his boxers, the word _both_ getting lost in his mouth again, Dani's mind exploding. “Now.”


	77. Pistolero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Marc/Dani until the thought of Alex Marquez has stopped making me cry happy tears ;) :D ♥
> 
> HE DID IT!!!!!! :D ♥ (title inspiration therefore hopefully obvious ;))

“Ok, ok…stop.” Dani pulled away and panted down at him for a few seconds, eyes searching confused eyes below him. _When I want to scream more more more more…_ “Are you sure? I mean… _sure_?”

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve never been this turned on in my _life._ ”

“But-“

“No but. Take them _off._ ”

_Ok then._ The older rider smiled at him again and kissed him again, slower than before, tongue exploring, hand moving from his face down his front to make himself shiver as he slipped a finger under the waistband of Marc’s boxers and pushed him back down onto the bed, knees either side, staring down, completely captivated by the nervous excitement and lust on Marc’s face, sparks firing in his eyes as Dani pulled his boxers off and then followed them with his own, taking a second to pause before their lips met again, Marc slowing as he did, more feeling in it, not that either would admit that out loud, before finally the older rider gently lowered himself back down, cocks sliding together and sending an earthquake of pleasure through both, Marc’s growl setting Dani’s skin on fire, kiss suddenly needier and deeper again, fingernails digging into Dani’s back and pulling him down, noise coming from the younger rider needier and needier, blood on both their tongues, finding a rhythm in the movement that got them in sync, desperation starting to grow before Dani moved the kiss lower, down his teammate’s neck, bruises and saliva in a trail, keeping the friction as he started to move down, Marc’s head pushed back into the bed and hand immediately tangled in his hair, knowing what was coming, chest heaving. _Why was I scared of THIS._ A low moan echoed through the room as Dani’s mouth swallowed him down, no teasing, Marc’s hand pulling on his hair and another growl ricocheting through the bed, hips bucking, mind completely blown. _THIS. Why was I scared of THIS._ He squeezed his eyes shut for a few more seconds as he writhed under him, then opened them again and dared to look, to take in the reality, that almost enough to send him over the edge, grabbing harder onto Dani’s hair again as his tongue circled his tip, trying to desperately to hold on a bit longer, finally feeling himself give in and wail at the ceiling as he came down his teammate’s throat, a bit of hair pulled out with it, eyes glazing over and staring at the ceiling, everything heightened, oversensitive as his Dani moved back up after few seconds, his erection still obvious, moaning into another kiss as Marc pulled him down closer and nodded at the question that got lost in their mouths, not ready to reciprocate the same, but taking as deep a breath as was possible through a mouth that wasn’t his and then slipping his hand between them, fingers gently closing around Dani’s cock, feeling the moan that elicited go straight to his own groin again, the older rider paused in suspended animation for a split second as his brain processed what was happening and with who. _My God. My God. My GOD._ Marc gently started to move his hand, thinking it through as best he could, trying to gauge what was positive and what was negative, no experience but usually successful as a rookie, Dani almost too weak to hold himself over him and being pushed back into the bed, position reversed, Marc’s fingers continuing, his teammate’s breath getting more and more ragged, kisses messier and less on target, before he growled back at him, the same noise he’d heard himself make, his name mixed in for good measure, and hot liquid spurted over his hand, signal to let himself go and half collapse on top of him, little moans still coming from Dani as he panted, littered with kisses until he finally made it halfway back to reality, eyes fixing on Marc’s, both taking a second for the moment before the younger leaned down again for another, chaste kiss, hand finding Dani’s and weaving their fingers together, curling around his side and his other hand tracing little patterns over the older rider’s chest, both still breathless enough for it to make talking difficult.

“Wow.”

“Ok?”

“No, amazing.” Marc propped himself up slightly so they could get eye contact again and smiled, not a funny smile, not a winner’s smile, just warm and slightly nervous and the most genuine one he possessed. “A-ma-zing. Thank you…?”

His teammate smiled back and laughed slightly at that, tiny shrug, hand ruffling Marc’s hair and pulling him in for another kiss. “You’re welcome. And same to you.”

“Hmmm.” The younger smiled to himself again, nodding against Dani’s side, and then yawned. “I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be right now…”

“I know.” Dani nodded back and pressed a kiss into his hair, lapsing into silence for a few minutes before he sighed and gently sat up, yawning again. “Bed?”

“Hmm.”

“I was even going to ask you when you first arrived whether you wanted to sleep in here, but…I guess you probably do.”

“Hmm. Sleep and you. Sounds good.”

_Don’t. I mean…please. Please let that be enough._ “Perfect.” He smiled back down at him and then got up, headed for the bathroom and cleaning himself up, Marc popping his head round the door and walking in, washing his hands, sight making his teammate’s breath catch.

“You didn’t hear me did you?” Marc stood behind him and locked eyes with him in the mirror. “Hmm?”

“No…” _What?_

“I said…” Marc pressed his lips against his ear, eyes still locked together, and watched the spark of reaction. _I know._ “You’re so beautiful.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t…” _Make this more than sex if that’s not the truth._ “Don’t be so…”

“So…”

“So…nice?”

“Oh, sorry.” Marc grinned and squeezed his ass, confidence brimming again, and then suddenly wrapped his arms round him from behind, trapping Dani’s, pressing a kiss into his neck and then looking back at him. “I mean it. And I’m scared, but…you’re amazing. And being here is amazing.”

_And you seem like you really might mean it._ He nodded, unsure of what else to say, hands grabbing Marc’s forearms and turning his head to press a kiss on his bicep. “Hmm. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Now bed.”

“Bed.” They nodded at each other and walked back into the bedroom, getting in opposite sides in sync without having to ask which, and then Dani turned the light off as a warm body met his under the sheets, teammate’s voice low, almost a whisper, nerves evident again. 

“I think I’m doing ok, right?”

“More than ok. More, more, _more_ than ok.”

“Good.” _Because I don’t think I can take it if I can’t do enough to keep you. That’s if I have you…_ “Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“What are we doing here?”

_And I was thinking I wouldn’t dare ask you._


	78. Sweet Defeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually found the song by Jon Allen from googling "Sweet Defeat" since I wanted to check the phrase wasn't attached to something weird... ;)
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for the Kudos boost, always ♥ so appreciated, I hope you like this? :)
> 
> Alex will return as the _campió del món(lau)_ very shortly. Trying to figure out how I ever capture even a 12th of that race and win in a chapter ♥

“What do you mean?” _You’re really asking me if…_

“I mean…” The voice was low and almost sultry, breath hot on Dani’s cheek, fingers running over his chest the only thing confirming that it was reality. “What am I to you?”

 _What am I to you? Of course you ask the question whose answer will make you run. Couldn’t jst say ‘hey, you like me? Really? Enough to not like anyone else for a while and see how it goes? Enough to use one of those words that means you’re mine?’_ “You mean is this more than a few moments…” _Good save._

“Hmm.” The younger rider nuzzled into his neck and let his tongue flick over the skin slightly, another wave of little shivers going through Dani. _God, stop it. Just…_

“Marc?”

“Yeah?”

“I think the bigger question is, ‘What am I to _you_?’”

There were a few seconds of silence before his teammate’s hand went round him again, turning him towards him slightly, face to face on the pillow, eyes reflecting the tiniest spark of moonlight giving away where they were, Dani lost in them again straight away, every cliché he could think of playing out. _Are you going to answer? Or are you going to stop the talking again and distract me, in the most heavenly way in the whole fucking world, but still._ He took a deep breath as Marc’s finger traced his cheek and then became a whole hand, cupping his face and holding him there as he reached out to peck him on the lips. “Honestly, I don’t know. Teammate…”

_Great._

“Childhood hero…”

_Less sarcastic great._

“Friend. Good friend.”

_Great; either very sarcastically or genuinely, depending on what-_

“And something more.”

 _More._ “Something more…”

“More.” Marc nodded and Dani could somehow tell from the little pinpricks of black light in front of him that he was smiling, how he had no idea, too dark for that to be possible. “Something more…something scary, and exciting, but weirdly safe.”

_Safe…scary…exciting._

“I like spending time with you…someone I trust. Someone who makes me feel different to how I have before…”

 _Different. Better?_ “Different.”

“Hmm. When I’m with you; in a good way. When I’m not; in a terrifying way. I mean…everything I know about me comes from being a rider. And this wasn’t something Emilio really went over…”

The older rider joined him in a soft laugh at that and something in it made him relax again, hand going back around Marc’s waist and gently moving over his back, extra contact making it sink in. “I know what you mean. Its fine now, I’d hope good even? But then you go back to the old version of normal after all this different stuff happened that you didn’t expect and it’s weird.”

“It is. You understand?”

“I’ve been through it.”

“Hmm. And it got better?”

“It got a lot better. It went away, and then it became something positive, I think.”

“Right. Well…I’m worried this took so long.” The words were quieter and sent the mood back into worry. 

_Worst fear confirmed, me too._ “This?”

“I can lie here with you now and it feels right, but I’m worried it took so long.”

 _It feels right._ “Some people need longer.” _It feels right?_

“Hmm.” Marc nodded, eyes closing through a little yawn, and then moved down the pillow slightly to fit his head under his teammate’s chin, height difference unimportant in bed, Dani feeling part of his heart break and another part swell to an almost explosion as he did, gesture either saying too much or at least letting him see it as too much. _You’re scared, and what you do is pull me in further. I’ve only ever done that with one person. And I loved him._ The older rider left it a few seconds before pressing a kiss into his hair and daring to go back to the question. “It feels right?”

“It doesn’t to you?”

“It does.” _You sound so worried. Almost as worried as me._

“Ok. Well…so…original question…”

 _I know._ Dani nodded slightly and then took a deep breath. “Well you apologised for sleeping with Bea…is that something we don’t do anymore?”

“Sleep with other people?”

“Yeah…”

“That would be ok with me.”

The words seemed to arrive in slow motion, soft and nervous but very definite, although they left Dani’s reactions for dust; finally settling into a mixture of relief and complete joy. _Right…wow._ “Right. Ok…”

“I don’t know what it means right now, but honestly I can’t stand the thought of someone else…being here with you. Or being with you. And I know that’s a lot to ask from me because I need to take this so slowly but-“

“No, it’s ok.” _By ok I mean ‘it’s my wildest dream’._

“Is it? Because I’m trying…”

“I know.”

“I just…” Marc moved back up and fixed their eyes together again, closer than before if that was possible, taking an audible breath before he said it. “I was just thinking _I don’t think I can take it if I can’t do enough to keep you_. So I…I just need you to know that I’m trying and I want…” Another breath. “I want to keep you. If I can?”

 _If I wake up tomorrow in an empty bed and this was a dream, I’m going to jump in the lake._ “So you have me, then?”

“Well…yeah…” Marc’s tone added the same extra cheekiness that had come back at him, mood lifted from the scarily emotional high-stakes zone he’d been heading into. He moved his hand down Dani’s back and grabbed a handful of ass cheek, squeezing reasonably roughly and grinning into what already seemed like a habitual kiss in response, heart rate starting to relax. “Right?”

“Hmm…”

They relaxed into another kiss, a proper kiss, tongues exploring again, no destination, no desperation, just enjoying the connection for a few minutes until they broke apart and lapsed into another few minutes of silence, breathing calm and the only sound in the room until Marc broke it.

“Dani…”

 _The way you say my name…_ “Hmm?” _I swear it changed._

“Did we just decide I’m in a gay relationship?”

 _Did you just use that word without running off?_ “No…? We decided we like each other more than we like everybody else, I think? It doesn’t need a name…”

 _Oh._ “Oh.” _Oh._

 _Ok now you sound DISAPPOINTED?!_ “Hey…” Dani got them eye to eye again and smiled, hand running through his teammate’s hair. “I meant that to be positive. Because that word is a big one. Ok?”

 _Ok maybe you don’t feel quite as strongly as I thought…?_ “Ok..” _And maybe I feel much, much more strongly than I thought. Because I want that._

“Now sleep?”

“Hmm. Sleep.” Marc leaned in for another kiss and then arranged himself how he had been every time they’d done this, this time no shiver of fear at the vulnerable wonderfulness of it, just settling down to sleep how it felt right to. _I should just say that. Or nothing._

 _Was that what I should have said, there?_ Dani pulled him in a bit tighter and tried to put it out of his mind, concentrating on the moment, rare and maybe not to be repeated, unwilling to invest in the prospect he’d been offered, and then finally felt that same warmth spread through him as he felt Marc relax, asleep quite quickly, him lying awake and staring at the ceiling, fingers gently stroking the small of Marc’s back subconsciously as he let it all swirl in his mind. _It doesn’t need a name. But its name is Marc and its beaten me completely. Again._

He smiled slightly at that thought and finally started to relax again as his teammate hummed slightly in his sleep, words indecipherable but noises positive, almost as though reminding Dani he was there. 

_Game, set, match. And it is the sweetest defeat ever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Well, I was busy going nowhere_   
>  _Hanging out in no man's land_   
>  _When you showed me the silver_   
>  _There in bad luck's ugly hand_
> 
> _Well, I'd given up believing_   
>  _That I'd ever end up here_   
>  _But now I'm happy on that high wire_   
>  _With your voice ringing in my ears_
> 
> _Sweet defeat_   
>  _I'm lying helpless at your feet_   
>  _So it's goodbye to the street_   
>  _I'm so pleased to meet you, sweet defeat._


	79. Danny Kent Is My Nemesis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Mindy title, another 'sorry I'm tired, replies tomorrow!' ♥
> 
> Thanks so much! ♥
> 
> Part One of probably two chapters detailing moments from this weekend etc..
> 
> Thank you Alex Rins and I'm sorry Danny Kent. ;)

Jerez, Pre-test, Tuesday

“Oh my God.” I stopped in the doorway and had to physically push the bottom half of my jaw back into something looking like normal. _Black. And white. And so…_ “Oh my Godddd. Alexxx…”

“Like?”

The little excited face and all its innocence almost made me feel guilty for a split second, before he caught on and that disappeared. “Tonight, if you don’t wear that to the bedroom, I’m never having sex with you again.”

“If you promise not to abuse it…”

“I cannot promise that in any way.”

“But it’s so new…” He smirked at me and my still quivering self and then raised his eyebrows. “So Moto2 livery is approved then?”

“You know how sometimes the spark kind of fades after a while in relationships…”

“Hmm…” His hands found my hips as my legs managed to move me closer. “Yeah?”

“If you wear these leathers at least once a week, I’ll be wet until I’m 80.” 

He giggled close to my ear and then planted his chin on top of my head, pulling me in for a proper hug. “Livi…”  
“Don’t give me warning voice.” I grinned into his chest and then pulled myself away just enough to stare up into his face, fingers finding the zipper. “Or I will make you late for the photo.”

A needy little _hmmppphh_ glared down at me before he pulled his phone out his pocket and then grinned, whisking me off my feet and barelling down the motorhome. “Ok! 20 minutes.”

*

Cheste, Saturday evening

“Livi…”

“Hmmm?”

“I think Jack Miller is checking you out.”

I turned to Marc, eyes wide, and then managed to (hopefully) secretly catch the Australian gaze indeed headed my way. _DON’T COME NEAR ME, I WILL HIT YOU WITH YOUR OWN FAIRING._ “Argghhhh…”

“Don’t look…”

“Trying…”

“I would do something to help but I think I would be killed by Dani and we’d both be killed by Alex.”

“Help? What do you mean?!” I was still kind of awkwardly frozen, both of us talking out the corner of our mouths, both trying to pretend we hadn’t seen him. Which made me laugh slightly after the fact since Marc turning round and telling him to fuck off would probably have had him running and only stopping once he’d reached the Catalan border. 

“I mean something possessive like _this_ …” He grinned at me slightly, evil sparkle, and then ran his hand around my waist and pulled me into a hug, certainly quite different to the ones we usually shared, leaving his line of sight over my shoulder and towards Monsieur Miller. _Not sure this made it better._

“Is he still looking…?”

“Trying to pretend he isn’t. Stay there…” He gave me a squeeze and pressed a kiss into my neck, then ran his hands down my back and squeezed again. “Oh he looks like he’s losing his mind…”

There was a cough behind us before I looked up and saw a very amused and high-eyebrowed other Marquez. _That makes two, kind of._ “Hi baby.”

“Put her down.”

Marc did and I huffed. “Pff. Thanks for ignoring me.”

I grinned at him as he fake glared at his brother and then noticed the audience, catching on very quickly, and then repeating what Marc had done with hands going much lower and tongues finding tongues, Marc reporting he’d gone, everyone loving that little show maybe more than we should have. My brain just about caught up with a few of Marc’s first words in time for me to grab his hand before he walked away and yank him back.

“Oi. Dani would kill you?”

“Ah…” He went red and kind of nodded and half-grinned, bashful as it was probably possible for a human to be, and then shrugged. “Er..yeah…?”

“Ok.” I shrugged as non-chalantly as possible and then poked him hard before he could try and leave again, Alex giving him the same exacting stare. “Which you will fully explain later before Playstation time otherwise you don’t get to play. Ok?”

Alex nodded in solidarity and Marc shot us one more glare before disappearing round the corner, some muttering starting but not really audible, and we sat down on the steps for a few seconds before I lit a cigarette and blew the smoke in the air, Alex’s hand going to squeeze my knee slightly and then pulling me in.

“You know this is actually it.”

“I know.” I leaned against him and sighed contentedly as he kissed my cheek, another squeeze for good measure. “I know, but it still seems so unreal. You know for so many moments of this season, I didn’t even know you?”

“I know. So weird. Soooo weird.”

“Soooo weird. I mean…I would have been pretty invested in this anyway, and I would have been sat pretty close to where I will be, cheering you on…” I pointed up into the stand above the EG pits and nodded at his smile. “But knowing you now…I think I’m more relaxed than I would have been.”

“Really?!”

“Yup. Because I know you properly now. And I know that whatever he throws at you, you can do better. I _know_ that. Before, I just thought I might have an idea.”

“You really think that?”

I sighed as though I was bored and then pivoted his chin towards me, holding his gaze and nodding, smiling. “If him or Kent or Hanika or anyone else wants to play dirty, you already showed you can come back stronger and faster within a couple of laps. And you do it without hitting people. Plus, all you have to do is stare at his Australian ass for a few laps. Even if he wins it with 20 lap records in a row and laps you 93 times, you just have to be the next guy on the road.”

“Just…”

“Just. Easy, for you. Because I’m not sure if you realised yet…” I searched his eyes for a few seconds, tone more serious, and then nodded at his little reactions. “…you’re incredible. I mean, I love you. Here and now. But on the bike, Alex. On the bike…you deserve this. Off the bike, you deserve it. And you have everything you need to win it here.” I tapped the side of his head and then smiled and closed my eyes as he leaned in and rested his forehead against mine. 

“You know I think you missed the main thing.” His lips just managed to reach mine in a light kiss before his arms went back round me again and we sat huddled there in silence for a few more minutes, finally moving after we shivered in time, forehead to forehead again before he opened his eyes and took a deep breath. “This is crazy.”

“I know. And you’re going to go even crazier on that podium.”

*

Cheste, Friday

“I’m so tired. I don’t know what it is…maybe Alex stress…but I’m so tired this weekend.”

“I know. Well, no…I can tell, and I can imagine.” Dani pulled him properly down onto the sofa with him and grabbed him into a massive hug, ruffling his hair and grinning at the complaints lost in the fabric of his hoody. “Shut up.”

“No.” An idignant and pouting face popped back up just above his and then grinned down. “Make me.”

_You’re almost a different person. Well, no…you’re suddenly the same person, even when we start to cross that line._ “So…’I’m tired’ to you is code for ‘please put your tongue in my mouth’?”

He watched the cheeky thought flash in Marc’s eyes and then felt himself blush and grin as he actually dared to say it. “Umm…yeah? Or, you know…whatever you want to put in there. I’m sure I’ll find space.” The younger rider opened wide momentarily and then grinned and actually licked Dani’s cheek. “Ok lied not tired anymore.”

_This could be the future. This could be 80 year old me, and he will still be powered by crack._ “Seriously…do not tease me.”

Teeth nipped the older rider’s bottom lip and pulled it away slightly before Marc stared back down and then shook his head ever-so-slightly, evil lust and completely terrified nerves vying for space in his eyes. “No…N-not teasing.”

*

Cheste, Sunday night

The second his eyes found mine in the crowd I genuinely thought I’d been shot, so much communicated that it was difficult to even scream the right words, Marc kind of the same, everyone just insane, throwing him in the air, possibly damaging him slightly but nothing too permanent, and then I got grabbed up to the barrier and a kiss whacked on my face before he suddenly seemed to calm for a few seconds, repeating how we had been after qualifying on the step, hands hanging on my neck and forehead against mine, panting a few deep breaths with his eyes closed and then nodding and grinning at me, voice low and private, eyes burning.

“I did it...”

“You did it. You earnt that.”

“I did. Love you.” 

“You too, World Champion.”

He nodded again and gave me another kiss before the noise and circus seemed to whirl back into life and he was gone, leaving me and Marc sharing a look and a nod, similar-ish emotions, his hand grabbing mine and squeezing, inexplicable brilliance of the moment something that I’d never forget. _“I did.” You did, and I love how you’re learning that._

*

Cheste, Sunday, 5 laps to go

“I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM.”

“Shh, calm, calm.” Roser shook her head and grabbed my hand, squeezing and giving me a facial expression between agreement, horror, amusement and pride, and passed me a bottle of water, again.

“Calm.” Deep breath. “Calm…” I was getting somewhere before it all kicked off again, fairing bashing and ridiculous, and Julia got splashed in a stream of water from the dropped bottle, not giving a shit and not noticing until at least 10 minutes after. “OK, I MEAN IT. WAR. I’M GOING TO BORROW THAT LORENZO HELMET AND FUCKING-“

“No, you’re not.”

I took another few manic but calming breaths and gritted my teeth, again kind of getting somewhere, and then focused all of my psychic powers on Danny Kent and Alex Rins, switching to English and just about catching two amused Marquez parents’ faces at the stream of terribly British words suddenly appearing re: the Brit, guilt because I didn't really know him to be able to offend him this much but equally, _fuck off Danny Kent_ was pretty necessary. _I don’t deal with stress very well, ok? Alex sorts it out, but Alex is-_

I realised I’d been trying to distract myself from the reality of the complete terror and succeeding too well as it was suddenly the last lap, my brain still in that loop trying to complete the phrase, _Alex is…_ , never quite getting there, until suddenly he was over the line, Danny Kent had taken my advice and it was done, and the other words didn’t matter anymore.

_Alex is...the World Champion._

I burst into tears as was customary.

_And other Alex is the best teammate ever._

*

Geneva, Wednesday

“Oh FUUUUUUUCK.” Marc braced them against the cool tiles of the shower and then heard his groan echo around the room as Dani did it again, the younger rider’s hair flat and eyes tight shut, legs shaking, water streaming down his slightly uplifted face. “Oh FUUUUUUUUCK, Dani… _fuck_ …”

His teammate sank his teeth into Marc’s neck and felt his skin go prickly again as another growl vibrated between them, taking his hand back and pressing them crotch to crotch instead, younger rider suddenly seeming to snap and fingertips desperately digging in and pulling him closer, mouth smashing onto Dani’s like he would die if he couldn’t share his tongue, another desperate wail going through both as Marc’s hip bucked against him, breath gasping and stream of water making them both splutter slightly as it got in the way. 

“Oh _fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck_ …”


	80. Think Like A Pedrosa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Mindy title and sorry I've had really bad internet!! If I'm showing up on tumblr sometimes etc, promise I'm not ignoring comments it's just not working well! :/
> 
> Thank you soooooo much!!! ♥

Geneva, Wednesday

“I brought cof- Oh no actually that was Livi. But…I would have brought coffee if it had been my house?”

“You think your guilt trip is going to work…” The older rider sighed with fake pity under the covers and then grimaced at the light as Marc grabbed the sheet and revealed him. “Urggh!”

“Awww.” The younger rider pinched his cheek and grinned at the scowl. “Poor baby. Espresso please.”

“And what do I get in return?” _Baby._

“Hmm…” Marc narrowed his eyes as if he was seriously thinking about it and then hummed in satisfaction as his kiss found the target. “More of that.”

“Ok!” Dani sat up and looked round the room, both of them starting to giggle, voices still a bit rusty, Marc’s hand going to his teammate’s head to pat his hair down and both, unknown to the other, feeling a little shiver of bliss at these few hours of freedom, Dani especially feeling his heart dance at the gentle fingers that felt at home enough to rake through his hair. 

“Well that was easy…”

*

Jerez, Tuesday

“No, that’s not the deal.”

“But you’ll look so-“

“No! They won’t fit me anyway!” I grabbed his hand and traced it over my hip. “See, you don’t have those.”

“Hmm…” His fingers went a bit further and he grinned. “Well no, I don’t. BUT…I think they’ll fit pretty good, they just won’t zip up…”

“So they won’t fit…”

“But seriously…leathers…unzipped…bra…” He closed his eyes for a second and took a melodramatic breath before I got the evilly effective puppy dog eyes again. “Pleassee…”

I raised both my eyebrows at him, a little hint of genuine desperation creeping through then, and then sat up and shivered happily as his hand found my back. “You really want to-“

“PLEASE.” He grinned at sat up next to me and then bumped my shoulder with his. “I’ll owe you, then…you know what that means…”

_Yup. Useless._ “I do, but since you’re too perfect you do that anyway, so…try something else.”

“Hmm…” He nibbled my shoulder slightly and then left a tingly little kiss there. “I don’t have much to bargain with except begging, really.”

“Hmm…sadly true.” I grinned at his indignant little smile and then slipped out the bed and retrieved the two items of clothes I needed, his eyes tracing my progress, biting his lip, watching as I then grabbed the offending/desired leathers off the back of the door and pulled them on. Sadly for me, he was right, and although they didn’t zip up, they didn’t zip up just enough to look like it was on purpose.

“Oh God.”

“You know if I was evil I’d mention how it’s kind of like wanting to fuck yourself…”

He grinned at that and almost literally salivated at me as I walked back over and stood in front of him, one finger tracing the line where the zip should have been, shaking his head.

“Nope, _definitely_ you.”

*

Geneva, Wednesday

“We should probably have a shower.”

“We?”

“Er…I meant we should both shower, not nece-“

“Relax.” Marc smiled at him, still a hint of cheek but suddenly more vulnerable, and then shrugged slightly, confidence evaporated again. “I mean…I was trying to say…showering sounds good…”

_You mean TOGETHER._ “You mean-“

Marc nodded to cut him off and then smiled at the look on Dani’s face. “Yup. If you want…?”

The older rider looked at him for a second before they seemed to launch themselves at each other, restraint gone, Dani certainly having been desperately restraining himself since Marc’s eyes fluttered open and fixed on his almost an hour and breakfast and a couple of coffees ago now, not knowing if the boundaries had moved in the harsh light of day, not wanting to push, waiting for a sign that he realised as their lips met again he would never have got if he hadn’t accidentally forced it, because the different in the daylight was just nerves, nothing else.

He felt Marc’s hands graze down his back and moaned into his mouth slightly at the feeling, every little thing that usually meant fairly little seeming more like a burning inferno when it was _Marc_ doing it, and then somehow managed to pull him out the bed and across to the bathroom, both standing under the water and looking at each other, taking in the little details and running their hands over little scars they hadn’t noticed before, before Dani pressed him gently back against the tiles and felt a sudden wall of completely desperate affection hit him as he saw the reaction; Marc just closing his eyes, half smile, lips parted just enough to be an invitation, hands loosely around Dani’s waist, content to stand and wait and see, content to close his eyes and trust in a moment of complete vulnerability.

_You trust me completely, for some reason._

He readjusted the plan slightly and pressed their lips together again under the stream of water, different to before, trying to communicate everything that had just hit him, and feeling everything heavenly shiver as Marc’s arm went round his neck, hand playing in his hair, same gentle but not-too-gentle attention given to the kiss, reciprocating the same, or at least, everything Dani hoped he was saying with his tongue he felt Marc was trying to say in return. After a few more minutes like that, everything else forgotten, they finally broke apart and Dani stared at him.

“You trust me?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Ok. If you want to stop-“

“I don’t want to stop.”

*

Valencia, Sunday

Drunken speeches. First Emilio, then Tito, then Marc, and then eventually I was being forced to stand up, mostly successfully, glass of champagne in hand and too tipsy to have saved drunken Pedrosa from the oven if I’d needed to this time.

“Don’t know what to say!”

“Anything! Except, you know…that stuff.” Marc grinned at me and raised his glass. “Please!”

“Fine, fine…well…it’s hard to know what to say because I think I said a lot already but…basically you’re amazing and I love you and I can’t believe that I didn’t even know you when the season started…but now I do, and you know me so quickly and it’s weird saying this stuff in front of other people because you’re looking at me like you know what I’m actually trying to say and failing at…”

He smiled at me and shrugged slightly, nodding.

“Exactly. Please be less psychic…”

“No.”

“Well in that case I’ll just say it. I love what you do and I love seeing you win and seeing you happy. I love how you’ve changed and grown and become who you are now, and mostly I love that the person who picked me up from the Mossos d’Esquadra, held my hand in the hospital in England, helped return everything that got ruined…the person who never, ever drops me…the person that I thank them every day for raising…” I pointed at Julia and Roser and tried to keep my voice steady. “I know that that person is the most important in my world, and now the rest of the world got their first glimpse of you and who you are, properly…even how you stay incredibly, irritatingly calm, and…just well done. I’m so proud of you and I’m so happy for you, and I’m happy as a screaming fangirl for me as well. For us. Me and you. And everyone here. And I love you.”

Alex listened to that with wide eyes like the ones he’d had sat on the chair in the box staring at the screen and then suddenly got to his feet and wrapped me in a hug, both swaying slightly, round of _aww_ going round the table, us ignoring that, the words _I love you too_ whispered into my ear.

* 

Cheste, Friday evening

“Hi. Sorry it’s late…”

_“It’s Friday; trust me it’s not late.”_

“Ok then.” Marc grinned to himself and then collapsed onto his bed. “So I wanted to talk to you…”

_“Right…how was Geneva?”_

“Amazing. I was a bit freaked out yesterday once I was back in the paddock and we were kind of…back to our normal lives but…it was amazing.”

_“Sounds like there’s more to it than that…”_

“Well…maybe a bit?”

_“Do you sleep with him?”_

“No! But…I managed to touch him…” _How am I not incredibly embarrassed by this conversation._

_“So I guess the rule is helping?”_

“Yeah. A lot. Seriously…I mean, two people have ever made me feel like that…I mean, like I need to rip clothes off. You and him. But with him…maybe it’s because it’s all so different and slightly scary as well, but…definitely made sure it’s a problem in my head. My body is MORE than fine with it.”

Bea laughed down the line, slightly sadly, and then nodded to herself. _“And it sounds like you’re getting past that? What happened?”_

“Well…best blow job in the world. Then we had a shower…together…and again…”

_“You said you touched him…?”_

“Ok so when I said blow job maybe I meant more…more…and I made him come.” Marc listened to those words, sounding so weird and somehow still not blushing, and took a breath. “Hand job. Then we went to sleep. Then the shower…and that was kind of undefinable but there were 4 orgasms, 3 of which were mine. And thank God he lives in a detached house.”

Another cackle echoed down the line before she read the _I have more to say but I need you to ask… “Wow. Ok. I’m almost a bit jealous of YOU now!”_

“You should be. Everyone should be. He is _amazing._ ”

_“Awww. You got it baaad.”_

“Yup. I know…and we said it’s exclusive. So…I don’t know what that means…”

_“Sounds like you have a boyf-“_

“Shhh! No. Not ready for that yet.”

_“Ok, ok. Sorry. Sounds like you have found someone who’s worth a lot. How’s that?”_

“Perfect.”

_“Ok good…now…there is definitely something you’re not telling me…”_

“Hmm…maybe?”

_“Spit it out.”_

Marc started to laugh at that choice of words, giving him the perfect way out of the first time he’d really wanted to blush, joke ready and waiting. “Well, no. Actually…I, er…managed to swallow.”

_“OH MY GOD!”_

He listened to the little happy meltdown and took a few deep breaths, this memory still causing a bit of panic, and then felt himself start to join in, classic Marquez _jajajajaja_ echoing into the quiet of the late night paddock. “Yup. Are you proud?”

_“Very! How was it?”_

“It was weeeiiirrrddd! For me anyway. For him…I think I did ok. I got some hair pulled out and I’ve never heard him say words like that before. Or seen that look on his face before.”

_“I guess if there was something to swallow you did a good job.”_

He laughed at that again and then took another couple of breaths, nodding, letting it sink in. “Yeah…I mean…I left him about 20 minutes ago because motorhome sharing all night wouldn’t be a good idea, but…I freaked out when I got back here, I think ‘cause I was on my own and everything kind of hit me. But now I’m ok again. And the thought of doing it again is not…I don’t know. I would do it again. But it’s not that enjoyable? I mean…other than…the reaction.”

_“Yeah, I speak for everyone who gives blow jobs when I say that’s pretty normal. It can be hot and it’s always fun to make somebody squirm, but…it’s not meant to be a chupa chup. Don’t worry.”_

Another round of laughter hit Marc before he found himself lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, feeling the last vestiges of nerves leave him. “Hmm. Ok! I will take your word for it. I guess kind of the same with girls…”

_“Yeah. Exactly. The person getting it really likes it and that’s why you do it.”_

“Ok. This is good. This is very good.”

_“It sounds like you’ve COME a long way.”_

“Fuck off.”

_“Jeje. No trajectory descriptions please. You know what I’m going to ask you now?”_

“Yeah and the idea still terrifies me.”

_“Which way round?”_

“What?!”

_“Which way round does it terrify you? Him on top or you?”_

“Argghh ok I blushed. Gah…I don’t know. I kind of assumed Dani would be top…”

_“Right. Why?”_

“I don’t really know. Because he’s…Dani?”

_"Right...but think like a Pedrosa here...he's probably not going to expect you to-"_

"But...you mean...you think he...I mean-"

_"Yeah...?! He's bisexual. I'm sure he just wants more, whichever way round. Have you talked about it?”_

“No. I keep avoiding it. I just…that’s serious then. You know? If I let him…you know…that’s serious. That’s crossing a line or something…I…I don’t know…”

_“Don’t freak out again.”_ She listened to him try not to and smiled to herself at the adorableness. _“Ok. Why did you assume that?”_

“Because…he knows what he’s doing?”

_“Have you ever had anal…ok actually I don’t need to ask that.”_

An evilly wicked _jajajaja_ crackled down from the Valencian end of the call and almost managed to make Bea blush as he realised what she was asking and then why she didn’t have to. “Yes I have, Miss. Yes I have.”

_“Don’t. Even just the way you’re saying that is turning me on slightly.”_

Another _jejejejeje_ before Marc managed to stop himself slightly. “Sorry. But yeah, I have. We have.”

_“Shhh!! But…the idea with Dani still freaks you out?”_

“Hmm…yeah…a bit. I just can’t see it. I mean…am I being stupid assuming that he’d want to-“

_“Yes. You need to ask…or at least broach the subject. I mean…I think you’d be surprised. And if you sent him over the edge once…or twice…or however many times you have, you can do that again, it’s just that your dick will be having fun at the same time.”_

“You’re a poet.”

_“I know. I hope I’m helping here though, not just making you consider things you don’t want?”_

“No, you are helping, so much. Because I want it.” He stopped himself as he heard that out loud, shivering as he realised it was true, panic rising again slightly as he lowered his voice. “I actually want it, now. I’m scared…and I’m scared I need to give him more and it’s too slow. But I want it.”

_“Ok…well I don’t think he’s in a rush just for this stuff. I think he likes you and being with you a lot more than that.”_

“Really?”

_“Really. But you should talk about it.”_

*

Cheste, Saturday

“Finally.” Marc flopped down onto the sofa and grabbed the controller. “Urgh and all of that for the second row.”

“Yeah you actually had a tiny tantrum, too. I was impressed. Luis Salom wasn’t.”

“Pfff.” He grinned at me and then shrugged slightly. “Fucking annoying in the last qualifying of the year though.”

“Yeah, I know. But second row, and you will undoubtedly destroy everyone.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence but it’s harder than it looks.”

“Nah, didn’t meant it like that.” I snuggled down next to him and sighed happily as he moved himself slightly to let me lean on his shoulder. “Not taking it for granted. The opposite; it’s even more impressive.”

“Thank you.” He pecked a kiss into my hair and then put the controller down, twiddling his thumbs pretty literally, ruining my zen mood.

“Stop it. He’ll be back soon.”

“Hmm.” He moved his arm around me and gave me a squeeze, feeling the same shiver at the temperature and huddling slightly. “I’m too lazy to go and change the heater.”

“Me too.”

“Well then I guess we wait and freeze.”

“No problem.” I nodded and dragged him down into a comfy and completely unsexual spoon, pulling a spare hoody over us as well and then half going to sleep before almost rolling off onto the floor in shock as he suddenly spoke.

“You said you wanted to know about Dani…”

_Ok yeah I really do._ I managed to wake up slightly and nodded. “Yeah. If you want to tell…”

“Hmm…I talked to Bea a bit about it? And don’t really want to go through that all again…but…it is a thing. As in…we’re exclusive. DON’T USE A SCARY WORD.”

I smiled at that and shook my head, giving him a squeeze and feeling my heart do a little happy dance. “Ok, ok. Well…wow. So I guess you’re less freaked out?”

“I am. I mean…we’ve not…done some stuff…? But I’m just taking it slow and it’s ok. No complaints, anyway!”

“Jeje ok.” _Woah I’m pretty sure that means you have had those glorious lips around what I imagine is that glorious Pedrosita._ “Want to tell the truth about where you went on Tuesday?”

“Ah…”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm…maybe I was screaming Dani’s name in his shower.”

_Showering together. Wow and WOW._ “Well…I’m very happy for you.” _Don’t squee. Do not squee._ “And slightly losing my mind about how cute it is.”

“Pfff. We’re manly. It’s not cute!”

“Hmm…you both can be manly but it’s still very very cute.”

He was about to rebuff that again before finally the door opened and Alex appeared, leaving both of us sitting up and pointing and yelling at the temperature controls, no greeting or recognition of who he was at all, his face betraying his displeasure at that and wordlessly turning the heating up before then turning and grinning, launching himself on top of us and laughing at the loud, double _OOF!_ as he crash landed.

“Ow!”

“Whatever.” He wriggled about a bit before Marc finally stopped laughing enough to push him off onto the floor, Alex grabbing me and taking me with him, that landing a lot harder. “Ow!”

“Sorry baby.”

“Yeah your face looks really sorry.”

He pouted and grinned into a quick kiss before hauling us back up next to Marc, me in the middle, and grabbing the other controller.

“Right, 45 minutes, no distractions, no Moto3, no Championship, no Jack Miller talk…ok?”

Me and Marc nodded in time as the game started up, understanding that perfectly, Marc spending the next 45 minutes using me as a middle man to violently attack his brother and just generally make life difficult, usually bumping my shoulder and sending a chain reaction down the line. To his credit, Alex did not retaliate. Which was a useful attitude and would prove so 15 hours later.

*

Cheste, Sunday

I watched Marc lean down to talk in his ear just before he left, knowing it was one of those moments no one else would ever understand except the two of them and seeing the same thing written on Roser’s face.

“He can do it.”

“He can.”

I smiled at her and then swallowed, hard. “It’s just whether they’ll let him…”

“I think it’s going to be ok.” She pointed again at the brotherly moment and smiled. “They know what they’re doing.”

_Fair point._ I grinned back and took another deep breath. “They do.”

*

Cheste, Monday

“So Alex on the big bike later?”

Marc nodded and the pride immediately seemed to flow from him. “Yeah!”

“Hmm. I might go out before to be honest, this is boring.” Dani saw the look on his face and backtracked slightly. “No, sorry. Not you! Or Alex, that will be cool. I just mean…watching everyone do laps and just sat here…pointless.”

“Hmm. I know what you mean.”

“Although I think maybe you should just take Alex out.” The older rider grinned at the knowing look on his boyfriend(?)’s face and nodded. “Yeah. Don’t even know if you should do quick laps tomorrow to be honest…” He watched Marc grin back at him and give him the finger before the younger rider looked around to check they weren’t observed and squeezed his knee under the table. “You’ll want to take that back, tonight. I’ll show you hungover. I am race fit and ready for…new things.”

_Oh God._ “Oh really?”

“Yeah, really.” Marc grinned at him, biting his lip slightly, and then nodded. “ _Really._ ”

Dani felt a shiver of pure desperate lust hit him at the words and wondered if he was reading too much into it before Marc’s hand was suddenly in his crotch, teasing, the younger rider then getting up quickly and walking off with a cheeky wink over his shoulder.

_Oh God._


	81. Top Gun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #25gang
> 
> I have a few issues I'm kind of working through ;) ♥
> 
> thank you and I hope you enjoy...

Cheste, Monday

“Hey…Champion of the World…” I whispered into his ear again and smiled as he started to wake up, so vulnerably and cutely adorable. And then seconds later horribly hungover. “Baby baby champ…wakey wakey…”

“Noooo…”

“Yup! Big bike today! Big bike with big brother.”

“Ah fuck.” 

I laughed at the suddenly manly voice and swear and the way he disappeared under the covers. “Yeah but we have hours, it’s ok. We’ll get you feeling amazing.”

“Hmm.” The top of his head popped back up, sheets covering half his face like a mask but smile more than evident in his eyes. “Big bike!”

I nodded and patted him on the head slightly. “Big bike for a big boy…”

There was another unceremonious groan from under the sheets before finally the whole head appeared and smirked. “Hell yes.”

“Ok I thought this was going to take a lot longer. I’m impressed.”

“If you can’t party like a World Champion you shouldn’t be one.”

“Good motto.” I nodded and smiled into a kiss before grinning again at the puzzled noises as his hands went adventuring and found me clothed. 

“Wh…?”

“I’ve been up for a couple of hours. It’s 1136.”

“ARGH.” He sat up in panic, wild eyed and ruffled, way too fast, and then grabbed the bin from the side of the bed and heaved.

_Oh dear. 3 hours and 24 minutes. Think we’ll make you alive?_

*

Cheste, Monday evening

Marc: _Really sorry I just want to go to sleep. Not you. Xxx_

Marc: _Shiittt I meant I want to go to sleep and it’s nothing you did. (I do want you too but we said no motorhome sharing) :( xx_

Dani: _I understand since you were almost asleep in your pasta ;) ok…well…we did, but there aren’t that many people around now? ;) #perksoftesting_

Marc: _You told me off for #hashtaginatext :P but really??! :D_

Dani: _Yeah my door is open. Just sleep?_

Marc: _Perfect. Yes. And I’m going to dare to run over in what I’m wearing now. ;)_

Dani tried to protest that before his door banged open and closed in quick succession and a shivering, boxer-clad Marc Marquez grinned at him.

“Nobody saw me.”

“If they did I will f-“ The word got lost in a kiss before the younger rider made sure the door was locked and tugged Dani down to the bedroom, clothes coming off fairly rapidly, before manhandling him into the bed, curling up around him and managing to be snoring it less than 2 minutes. Goodnight kiss, yes. Murmurs of happiness, yes. Other than that, dead weight.

_I guess you want to go to sleep now then. Don’t worry. I was tired too._ Dani grinned and slightly rolled his eyes to himself before letting his hand wander through Marc’s hair and taking a deep breath.

_But it’s ok, because you’re perfect. Mostly._

*

Cheste, Tuesday morning

“Well you didn’t think this through, did you?”

“Hmm?”

“You have no clothes.”

“Neither do you.” A cheeky hand crept its way up Dani’s chest before being captured, Marc still muffled under the covers. “What?”

“I’m not talking about that. I mean how are you going to leave?”

“Hmm well I’ll just stay here then.”

“And that isn’t going to freak anyone out who comes in here.”

“Just lock me in and tell me when we’re headed for Geneva.”

_Sounds like you want to come back, then?_ “Hmm…speaking of that…do you want to come and visit again?”

Marc’s head suddenly popped up and he managed a smile. “Really?”

“Yeah! After the Repsol thing, why don’t you?”

_No reason why not except the risk._ “Risky…”

“Not too bad. If gay rumours were the first thought on everyone’s mind then I think the first place they’ll be looking is KTM-wait, not anymore. LCR and Suzuki.”

“Urgh. Milllerr.”

“Jack and Mack.”

“Cute. Assholes.”

“Be nice…”

“I was half joking. Maverick’s an asshole in a good way.”

_I feel like that’s as far as I’m going to get._ “Bit better. So…visit?”

“Visit. And…er…” Marc dissolved into some nerves again and had to take a deep breath and clear his throat, settling back down, eyes closed. “When I visit…well…I mean…maybe we should wait until then to…you know…maybe…”

“I’m not in a rush. I promise.” The older rider pressed a kiss on his forehead and breathed him in slightly. “You being here, just you…no sex or whatever….that’s enough. More than.”

“Hmm.” Marc was half dozed again on his chest, corner of his mouth creating a little patch of moisture that was somehow more endearing than gross, and nodded against him before running his fingers over the muscles, voice slow and quiet. “I hope so. Don’t want to fuck this up.”

_Awwww._ “You won’t. Well…not with that, anyway.”

“Good.” _He’s going to sleep again in 3, 2, 1..._ “Because I don’t think I’ve been in love before and it’s scary.”

Dani froze as the words left his teammate’s mouth, waiting for some sort of follow up or reaction, desperately trying to stay still and not give anything away once he’d realised Marc was asleep again, no idea he’d said it, breath sending cool shivers across the older rider’s chest. _Oh my God._ He left it as long as he needed to calm down, chest bursting with the need to shake him awake and yell it back, knowing that was a bad idea somehow, and then finally nudged him gently awake. “Hey…Marc…”

“Hmm.”

“Baby we need to go and ride motorbikes.”

“Hmm.”

“Seriously, we need to go and ride motorbikes.”

“Hmm…ok.” He moved again and just about managed to sit up, yawning, and then looked back at Dani, pouting and bleary eyed. “Motorbikes? Pff. Hate them. Don’t wanna.”

_So ‘baby’ is ok?_ “Go!” Dani pushed him off the bed and managed to send him sprawling onto the floor, the sight glorious but lacking in elegance, both giggling, and then bit his lip as he watched that ass walk away and into the bathroom. _Oh, baby baby baby._

Dani: _Livi we need your help. Well, Marc needs your help._

Livi: _Ok. Let me guess…you need something fetching or you need me to take something away?_

Dani: _We have the head of Jack Miller and it’s a bit messy. I was hoping you’d bring a bin bag?_

Livi: _If your phone gets hacked, you’re fucked (and LOLOLOL)_

Dani: _Believe me if my phone gets hacked I am COMPLETELY fucked anyway_

Livi: _Ah yeah. Gay porn! ;) hehe. Ok…well I’m just about dressed. Which motorhome?_

Dani: _Mine but we need Marc’s clothes._

Livi: _All of them or can I dress him how I want? ;)_

Dani: _You can try :P jeans and a t shirt and hoodie. He did at least have underwear on when he ran through my door like an asshole._

Livi: _And he was wearing shoes and socks? ;)_

Dani: _Jaja no, good point :P so yeah…please?_

Livi: _Ok give me 5 minutes! And tell him not to be such a dick, anyone could see!_

Dani: _I TRIED._

Livi: _YOU ALWAYS DO, PEDROSITA! ♥ ♥ ♥_

Dani: _I feel like we should put you on the payroll soon :P dogsbody and ego booster!_

Livi: _Feel free. 100 euros an hour gets me out of bed. And would be pretty welcome since my job kind of hates me right now. They have no respect for World Championship duties! :P_

Dani: _Call it 3,50 and we have a deal. Now please be quick :P_

“I’m already here.”

I stood outside in the cooler than wanted morning chill and then smiled up at him as he opened the door, nervously looking at what I’d brought, happily noting I’d had the sense to put them in a bag and not just deliver obvious Marquez clothing to Pedrosa’s motorhome.

“Lifesaver.”

“Middle name.” I passed him the bag and then accepted the invitation for coffee, Marc appearing heading our way, stark naked and glorious, and then squealing and his hands going to protect his crotch.

“FUCK! Dani?! WARNING?!!”

I went slightly red and clapped my hands over my eyes like Will Ferrell in Elf, the show accidental and horrific in one way but also completely, gloriously un-ignorably _incredible_ , and turned round automatically. “Sorry!” _OH MY GOD OH MY GOD._

“ARGGHHH!” The World Champion giggled in horror and I heard him whirl round, floor squeaking under wet feet since apparently he was coming out the shower, and then the plod plod plod of a hasty retreat that signalled safety, and Dani trying desperately to stop laughing as I turned round again, that combination of joy and horror more than evident on my face, giggling despite myself. 

“Oops…forgot to tell him…”

“I hate you. I’m scarred for life now.”

“Hmm…scarred or spiritually awakened?”

I grinned at him and then whacked him on the arm, still a bit red, taking the offered coffee and then spluttering some out at the next outburst of ‘one day a year Pedrosa gives no shits and today is that day’. “You saw everything?”

“Yes.”

“And…for science…comparison…”

“You’re not-“

“I bet Alex. Alex?”

I bit my lip and tried to stop my cheeks burning before dipping my head to blow on the hot coffee and daring the tiniest nod, eyes on the wall straight ahead. “Just a little bit…”

“Knew it. Damn.” He took a sip and then nodded towards now at-least-wearing-boxers Marc as he walked back in. “Swap?”

“You had so better not be talking about what I think you’re talking about.” The older Marquez refused to look at us and picked up his coffee with an embarrassed, amused scowl, dodging Dani’s attempts to pinch his ass. 

“Course not…”

“Right.”

“I mean…not at all.”

“I don’t care.” Marc stuck out his tongue at his boyfriend(?) and then shrugged, nodding. “Alex has a bigger penis. It’s fine. Alex is prettier and taller than me.” 

“Aww no he is not. Ok well 2 are true, like, undeniably-“

“It’s genuinely fine. What is not genuinely fine is almost losing my normal sized penis to a bad accident because SOMEONE DIDN’T WARN ME WE HAD VISITORS.”

“Oh I see, _we_ had visitors?”

“Ok I forgot where we were but yeah.”

_God guys you’re just SO RIGHT._ I watched them bicker a few more minutes before finally it ended in a kiss and I let out an involuntary _aww_ , earning two admittedly quite manly glares.

“Thanks for the clothes.” Marc started to grin before he got to the end and all threatening-ness was lost, both of our cheeks going slightly pink again. “Now fuck off.”

"Pfff! Be nice or I'll tell Jack." I went over to the door and pulled it open, Dani grinning as I blew Marc a kiss, and then called over my shoulder as I left. "Plus Dani, if you're still feeling scientific, get in the #25gang. maverickvinales25 on Instagram. Cycle shorts. _Top Gun._ "

I laughed with the fading giggle from inside and then got to the bottom of the steps and turned round, perfectly happy and no problem at all with anything in the world except still blushing slightly, stopping completely dead as I did so and coming face to face with the one person that I would rather never ever heard that. _FUCK EVERYTHING._

I looked at him, he looked at me, both stopped, him smiling very, very slightly, like Kimi Raikkonen trying to keep a straight face, wondering if he'd heard right, my growing blush confirming it, still staring at me, that doing strange things to me half way between horror and contempt and weak knee'd adoration, before finally he coughed slightly and raised his eyebrows.

"Olivia?"

I nodded and tried to either punch him or swoon. _Yes, amazing asshole, that's me. Go and find your Australian wife and show her your massive penis._

"Maverick."

_I KNOW._ " _I know._ "

"Hm...er...you're looking at me like you want me to go away."

_WHY. WHY BRING ATTENTION TO IT._ "Hmm...sorry? I'm embarrassed..."

He suddenly properly, massively grinned at me and raised one eyebrow, like a serial killer you've been accidentally dating and then found out about, finally it sinking in that yes his suspicions about that snippet of conversation were correct. "Hehe. Well...I'm not...?"

And he then walked away, fine with it, not a care in the world, leaving me running back up the steps to Dani's motorhome and barreling inside, again brain not engaged, another round of embarassed horror as Marc snatched his hands from inside his teammate's jeans.

"SERIOUSLY, OLIVIA. NOT AGAIN."

I literally got on the floor and curled up, slightly screaming, until finally they were trying to drag me up and stop me giggling, tears on my cheeks and make up ruined, too much to keep in and laughing alone not enough. 

"Please explain..."

I nodded and then set off again, laughter completely contagious, and then finally managed to take in enough breath to choke it out, roles reversing instantly and them almost weeing themselves.

"HELP ME. WE HAVE TO REWIND."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #25gang


	82. Repsol Sponsored Babysitting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥
> 
> There is a plot, btw. There is a reason why one couple is in the background a bit more atm...we have a destination ;)

Jerez had been largely wet, which was annoying, and the season had already started to fade in everyone’s minds, although Alex was just a little bit different. In no way arrogant, but the victory seemed to have underlined what Roser had said, which was how important it was because it showed he’s not _the brother of_ Marc. Which for me had been weird for a while anyway, since in my head Marc was Alex’s brother. Understandably to some, but random people sometimes talked to me and referred to Alex as Marc’s brother, and the comparison and wording annoyed me, him, Marc, his parents, and Emilio Alzamora. And annoying Emilio Alzamora is never a good thing. 

Tito and Marc met up before Marc went to Alcalá with Dani for a Repsol event, a day with kids, essentially, which was the most ridiculously adorable thing in the world and had me wondering about _that_. Since neither way actually gay, how would that work? Had either of them thought about it and the fact that it was a possibility if they didn’t end up together, or were they both or one of them still trying to ignore anything past tomorrow? I imagined Dani was probably the one who’d thought about it at least a few times, and I imagined he was the one for whom it seemed more important, being older. _That old conundrum._ Of course, maybe they liked kids for the day and then sending them back to parents and being left alone; Repsol sponsored babysitting wasn’t quite the same as cleaning shit up at 4 in the morning. But it made me worry about them, and it made me worry about us, until eventually on Saturday we got back to our house and closed ourselves in for a weekend, no training for Alex since Tito was back in Almería and Marc had gone to Geneva, Rufea duties the only ones he seemed interested in for a little while, needing a bit of space to really let everything sink in, which was more than understandable, and then the phone rang.

_“It’s me.”_

“Hello me. You know it still blows my mind sometimes when you call me and just say ‘it’s me’.”

_“Should I pretend to be someone else?”_

“You should pretend to be Maverick. That would be interesting.”

Dani laughed into the phone and Alex frowned at me, not understanding that joke or the laugh, me realising I’d not explained that in the hasty transfer south to Andalucía and back. _Maybe I shouldn’t._

_“Hi, it’s Maverick. I like to swear in English and I have a gang.”_

“Are you a rapper?”

_“Darling I can be anything you want me to be. Just say the word.”_

“Ohhh. What’s the word, Top Gun?”

_“Well I didn’t think the joke through so not sure…already used 25 gang…maybe you should send me a slightly scowling selfie and get Jack Miller to comment on it.”_

“Jejejeje. Oh Dani…Oohhh Dani. Like I said before, if anyone is listening to this…”

_“Only you and possibly Junior Marquez, right?”_

“No I have you on speaker in the queue in the Corte Inglés.”

_“Shiiiiiit! Jaja. God, imagine…”_

“Don’t. Don’t…I’m already traumatised enough by things being overheard this week.”

_“And seen…”_

“No you were right about that…that wasn’t traumatic _in the slightest_.”

_“God, I know. I know. Can you believe that’s on its way to me right now and possibly ready to take this to the next level?”_

“Wow. Really?!”

_“Yup. I think Bea is his counsellor and you’re mine.”_

“Not sure I have to counsel you too much…”

_“Hmm well…that’s why I’m calling. Never got a chance to really talk about it before we all went our separate ways but…something massive happened on Tuesday morning…”_

“Massive?”

_“Yeah. And I don’t know what to do. I mean…I don’t have to do anything, I just…ok. Let me explain.”_

I listened to the explanation wondering what was going to be so confusingly important and then felt myself fizz as he got to it. _I’ve never been in love before…_

“Oh my God, Dani…that’s huge.”

_“Is it? Or do you think he was just half asleep and not really-“_

“Ok. Hang on.” I covered the phone slightly and poked Alex awake from Fifa. “Baby. Question…about Marc.”

“Hmm?”

“Eyes on me.” I waited and grinned as he sighed and finally actually paused it. “Good boy. Now-“

“Pffffff.” He glared at me and poked me back before letting me carry on.

“Right, when Marc’s half asleep and talking, it usually means that he’s telling the truth, right?”

“Yeah. Useful.” Alex grinned back at me and then raised his eyebrows in a silent question that I silently communicated I would explain in a minute after Pedrosa Therapy hour was over, leaving him to unpause the game and roll his eyes good naturedly as I walked off to go and talk, not sure what else Dani was going to say.

“You heard that?”

_“Yeah. Seriously though…”_

“Yeah…well…I don’t know. I’m not sure what to say. How do you feel about him?”

_“I gave up on trying to pretend I wasn’t completely head over heels about 2 weeks ago.”_

“Oh, Dani…” The way he said it, like he was annoyed and excitedly ecstatic at the same time, got me. “You’re still _sure_ you don’t want to try that threesome instead, right?”

_“Livi….”_ He laughed and I could imagine the red face from this far away. _“Don’t!”_

“Sorry. I got nervous because I just desperately want you to run off into the sunset together.”

_“So you offered me sex with you and his brother.”_

“Ok when you say it like that it makes a lot less sense…”

_“I don’t think there’s any sense here.”_

“Oh don’t go all serious on me again. Why no sense?”

_“Because we’re MotoGP riders. Repsol Honda MotoGP riders. Teammates. Teammates with an age gap. How is that ever, ever going to work?”_

“You know there are some difficulties, yeah. But nothing is too big. If you really want to make it work, I think you can. Teammates makes it crazy in one way but at least you have the same schedule a lot of the time. And you’ve always got on well in public, so it’s not like Casey and Valentino trying to keep a gay relationship secret, is it?”

_“Jaja. True…I just…I want it. I can’t imagine anything better. But then when you start looking forward in weeks or months instead of days, it seems completely insane.”_

“Insane. Like a rookie world champion? You’ve both been there, haven’t you?”

_“Yeah but-”_

“No buts. Sometimes things seem insane. Dani, I’m sat in a kitchen of a house I share with Alex Marquez. 5 months ago I hadn’t even met him. Then I got trapped in a lift with him. I got trapped in a lift with my second favourite rider, and somehow it turned out like this. Insane doesn’t always mean bad.”

_“Ok, ok. I do see your point. Thank you.”_ There was a calming sigh from the other end of the line before he left that, hopefully having accepted it, and then dived back in. _“Ok so…what do I do? I don’t think he knows he said it.”_

“Well if you would or will say it back, just wait. Just wait and see when or if, because I’d worry you’ll scare him off if you say it first.”

_“Yeah that’s what I thought. And I’d better go now because I need to walk around the house and check its tidy one more time before he gets here.”_

“I don’t think he’ll mind as long as you’re in it.”

_“Hmm well it’s either that or keep nervously talking and overcomplicating things…”_

“Ok GO!”

_“Ok. Bye Livi…thank you!”_

“Always. Let me know?”

_“I will. Bye bye.”_

“Bye…”

I walked back in to Alex and found him willingly pause and then stare at me. “I know what you’re going to say…”

“Really?”

“Really…because I’ve been dying to tell you…”

“Damn have you got secret brother gossip?!”

“Yup.” He grinned and let out a little whoosh of air as I plonked down next to him and curled round him. “After that event he freaked out a bit because I think he realised some stuff…and called me, and basically spent 10 minutes just going _oh fuck…oh fuck…I love him…what do I do? Fuck…_ …”

“Argghhh! Well…wow ok, so he knows he feels it then? Because he accidentally told Dani that when he was half asleep and doesn’t seem to remember..”

“I think he might tell him. Maybe by accident? But I can’t imagine he’ll make it through however long he’s going to be there without blurting it out. Which…I mean…do you think Dani-“

“Dani’s ready and waiting to say it back.”

I watched his eyes light up in a mixture of glee and nerves and could feel the same reflected in mine. _I know. Insane but brilliant. Adorable but scary._

*

“Hi.”

“Hi…” Dani opened the door further and ushered him in, helping with his bag, that same nervous glimmer back after they’d not seen each other for a while. _But he came. He came here._ “Good flight?”

“Yeah not too bad. Short. Which is good.” The younger rider nodded at the offer of coffee and then stretched slightly, flash of midriff catching Dani’s eye. “And good destination.”

“No regrets?”

“No.” 

He watched Marc take a little breath and then walk over to him, hands nervously going round him, exploring the fabric over his back and one hand grazing underneath the t shirt, Dani daring the same and smiling at the look on his face. _Nope._

“I missed you. And I am really nervous about this. But I’m here, and all I was thinking about was being here.”

“Ok.” Dani nodded at him and leaned up for a kiss, nothing too far, just enough to communicate what he wanted to and draw a line under the conversation, relaxing as he saw it was meant, intoxicated all over again by the muscles taught under the fabric in front of him, the perfect amount of the perfect smelling aftershave Marc had on, the tiniest, tiniest hint of friction in the tiny amount of stubble as they kissed, the way he suddenly went from confident World Champion to slightly nervous boyfriend(?), everything so different, only trace of the crazy guy with the champagne and the backwards cap being the little hint of something in his eyes that never went out, regardless of what had happened, how nervous he was, or where he was. _Or maybe it makes a difference who he’s looking at?_ “You want to go for dinner tonight?”

“Dinner?”

“Yup. There’s a restaurant I can get a private room and table, and they won’t say anything.”

“Really?”

“Really. I’ve been going there for about 4 years now and I trust them.”

“Then yeah. That sounds amazing. And…” He grinned and winked at Dani as they both leant back against the kitchen counter and took a sip of coffee each. “I brought good clothes. Cause, you know…Geneva is rich. Don’t want to let the team down.”

Dani gave him a sideways smile and then pointed at the mess of random shit stuck to the front of his fridge. “Yeah, you letting the team down with tidiness and general-”

“Yeah! I live in jeans and alpine stars t shirts. Which is fine when everyone expects it, but I think here’s a bit different.”

“Hmm. Maybe. Although I think when you look that good in jeans and alpine stars t shirts, it’s ok anywhere.”

“I’m blushing already…” Marc went slightly pink and stared into his cup.”I don’t know why I’m still nervous.”

“Because you’re human and in a new situation.”

_Or because I’m not sure you’d reply and I’m worried, especially in THAT moment, that I won’t be able to help myself and I’ll say it. Especially after watching you with those kids._ He nodded at him and shrugged slightly, trying to keep it in. _Which is just one more thing. 29. You're 29. How could we make this work-_

"Want to go into the city for a bit?"

*

The words he’d used weren’t too bad. They were meant for a parental audience, they just contained information he’d forgotten they didn’t know. Julia dropped his fork and Roser’s eyes went wide.

_“At least when I fell in love I did it with someone in the same country. Although maybe for them it’s better in Geneva. More privacy.”_

I watched Alex realise, slowly put down his fork, and then look at me before looking back at them.

“Ah…”

Roser raised her eyebrows and looked at her son, waiting, realising nothing more was going to be explained, and then let out a breath. 

“Well I can’t say I didn’t have my suspicions...”

*

@Maverickmack25: Good day today cycling. #25gang #TopGun #SuzukiIsBack

@LiviOhSoupOh: DM @26_DaniPedrosa CHECK OUT THE GANGSTA ;)

@26_DaniPedrosa: DM @LiviOhSoupOh woaah hahahaha...is that hashtag because of you?!

@LiviOhSoupOh: DM @26_DaniPedrosa I don't know... :/ !!!!

_Maverick Viñales (@Maverickmack25) started following you!_

@Maverickmack25: DM @LiviOhSoupOh I've not forgotten... jajaja ;) 

@LiviOhSoupOh: DM @26_DaniPedrosa CODE RED..he dm'd me to say he's not forgotten. (I'm horrified and excited)

@26_DaniPedrosa: DM @LiviOhSoupOh careful... ;)

@LiviOhSoupOh: @Maverickmack25 looks good! Was great to see Suzuki back in action :)

_Aleix Espargaro (@aleixespargaro) retweeted one of your tweets!_

@Maverickmack25: @LiviOhSoupOh thanks! :D :D :D ;)

@LiviOhSoupOh: @Maverickmack25 welcome! Have a good break, see you next year #25gang ;)

*

@jackmilleraus: DM @Maverickmack25 WTF?

@Maverickmack25: DM @Jackmilleraus jajajajajajaja what? new member of #25gang

@jackmilleraus: DM @Maverickmack25 wanker


	83. The Same Now As It Was Then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥
> 
> 100 Kudos! *mindblown* ♥ thank you!!

“I feel so guilty. Seriously…”

I nodded and pulled him into a hug from behind, careful to mind the glass he’d started to pour. “I know, baby. But it was an accident, he’ll understand, and they didn’t scream and shout about it.”

He sighed and gave into the hug slightly, nodding and hanging his head or one or the other. “But I’ve never _ever_ done that before. And what it took to tell me in the first place-“

“Yeah, it did. And if everything was still the same now as it was then, he’d never be in Geneva right now, would he? He wouldn’t be sleeping in Dani’s motorhome at the test. He wouldn’t be scarring me for life by walking out the shower in said motorhome wearing no clothes because he thought it was just him and Dani.”

“What?!” He turned round, slightly grinning again despite the guilt, and raised his eyebrows. “You never mentioned that…”

“Hmm well…maybe it wasn’t that scarring…?”

“Ewwwww…”

I grinned and shook my head slightly before pecking him on the lips. “But…he was literally walking around naked in the presence of his teammate. So I think you’re ok on things having changed quite a bit.”

*

“I really, really shouldn’t have said anything. I forgot. Please don’t-“

“Don’t be silly. Calm down.” The motherly but very definitive tone did exactly what it was designed to do. “So…is it a relationship?”

“I don’t know and I don’t think I should say much.”

“Ok. We understand.” Julia nodded his agreement, a lot less inquisitive and a lot more shell shocked, but stayed quiet, happy to let the pronoun speak for him. “Is anyone going to get their heartbroken?”

I looked at Alex and saw the tiny kind of gesture in my direction and realised he also thought that was a question I’d rather answer. “If you mean, are they both on the same page, then yes. Very yes.”

“So it’s serious?”

“That seems to depend on how freaked out Marc is when you talk to him but I’d say yes.” I shared a look with her, positive but intrigued by the fact he could be in Geneva apparently on a gay-getaway, but also still freaked out sometimes. “And Dani isn’t playing around. That I do know.”

“Ok…and what about that girl, your friend?”

“She’s putting a brave face on it slightly but it’s ok. They liked each other as soon as they met and that’s not going to change. Seems I’m Dani’s relationship counsellor, and she’s Marc’s freaking out counsellor. It works ok.”

Roser smiled at me again, kind of somehow reading the _well your sons are pretty much heartbreakers so you can imagine she didn’t jump for joy, but…_ I wondered what I meant by the but and then realised as Alex squeezed my knee. _But she realises that Marc and Dani work._

*

“I’m going to have to tell him.”

I knew there’d been a reason I was winning. Marc was pretty shit at games, his little brother not so much. “Don’t be preoccupied. I want to win fairly.”

“If you want to win you’d better hope I’m preoccupied.” I got a sideways nudge and smile, his eyes still on the screen, and then retaliated on track with a move Pastor Maldonado would have been proud of. He growled in annoyance and then paused, turning to me. “Olivia, that is terrible behaviour.”

“Yup.” I nodded and stuck my tongue out, putting down my controller and melting back into the sofa, him doing the same. “But sounds like you want to talk…”

“Or not talk. To anyone except you. Ever again.”

“It’s not that bad, it was a mistake. We didn’t say everything, did we?”

“Hmm…”

“Seriously babe, you need to let it go. I understand – I’ve done that before with Bea – but it was a mistake. He can trust you and he knows that. It’s because it’s relaxed now, you know?”

“No..?”

“Because you know it’s not this massive, scary secret anymore. Like Marc…ok so it has to stay paddock secret, but with the people in his and Dani’s lives…the close ones…I’m sure they’re going to tell them soon. Because it’s real, now…not just terrifying and confusing.”

“Hmm…”

“Would telling him make you feel better?”

“Yes.”

“Then tell him, and prove me right.”

“You’re right too often, maybe I won’t bother.”

I smiled back at the cheeky little smile that was suddenly pointed at me and then shrugged. “Better. Text him first though.” He frowned and I wiggled my eyebrows. “Well, I’m pretty sure you won’t want to interrupt..?!”

“Ok STOP!“

I giggled at the red face and nodded, ferreting his phone out his pocket for him. “Go.” 

*

Alex: _I fucked up at dinner with mum and dad. I accidentally said something about you and Dani and they know. I’m really, really sorry. It was an accident and I promise you can trust me. :/ they’re ok with it though. Mum said she wasn’t that surprised…?!_

Marc read it another couple of times and bit his lip. _Well fuck. Really didn’t want to deal with this, yet._ He heard the movie pause on the TV and felt the body next to him move to look at him and met Dani’s inquisitive look before turning the phone around and letting him read it.

“Ah. Ok?”

“Hmm. He must feel pretty bad, he never texts nice things.” The younger rider allowed himself a smile at that, Dani smiling at the smile, and then shrugged. “But if it was an accident and they’re ok with it, then I guess no harm done. Right?”

“It’s fine with me. If…” _If you love me…_ “If this is going to carry on, I guess it’s important they know…?” He watched the flash of doubt cross Marc’s face and raised his eyebrows slightly. “I want it to. I just don’t want to assume.”

“I want it to. I want…” Another sigh before his hand rubbed Dani’s leg and he let his head rest back on his shoulder. “I just want to stop everything being such a big deal. I mean…with everyone else. Not with you. I want you.” He cringed slightly at the 80s rom com vibe and then smiled at Dani’s happy surprise. “Yeah, ok? Maybe…maybe I need to stop being so…whatever I’m being and be brave.”

“Brave…?”

“Not with you. With them. This isn’t casual, is it?”

_Not for me._ “Not for me.” _Oh my God._

“Well not for me either.” The younger rider wound his fingers through Dani’s and squeezed his hand. “I think, even just today, and tonight…being in that restaurant, just having some time to ourselves…It’s not casual. If you were a girl I’d be changing statuses and tweeting pictures and being pathetic. And I know we can’t do that, but I think we could maybe use the word..?”

_You really feel it, don’t you?_ Dani looked down at him for a few seconds and then felt his face grin like a kid on Christmas morning. _Accurate._ “Seriously?”

“Your face looks like you want that too…”

“I want that. That and to beat you on track are kind of the only things I want.”

“Well I can give you the first…” Something in the way he said that changed the mood suddenly and the air was charged with something else. “If I gave you the last, I don’t think you’d want it.”

“True.”

“So boyfriends?” Faces close together, calm before the storm, faint smile fading into nerves. “And I’ll try and give you everything else you want, too, but-“

“Don’t.” Dani cut him off with a kiss and then tilted his chin up. “I can be as patient as you need. I promise.”

“Dani?”

“Hmm?”

“I know. I just really want it, too.”

*

“Livi?”

“Hmm?”

I turned over in the dark and found some kind-of eye contact. “I don’t want to remind you but I don’t want you to have forgotten-“

“I haven’t forgotten.”

“Right.” The way I’d said that made a flash of the guilt from earlier reappear for different reasons. “So we’ll leave at 10, yeah?”

“On Monday, though-“

“I know. I’m just checking.”

“Ok. Yeah. Monday.” 

I turned back over and let the quiet come back, not really aware what I’d done until I woke up the next morning and realised, him still facing me, about 2 feet apart, like he was half of a painting where someone had rubbed the other person out. _Sorry._ I watched him sleep for a few minutes before getting up and going to make coffee, intending to go back and give him a cup, him waking up before that and wordlessly heading for the bathroom. _Out of sync. Never happens._ I drank one cup, poured myself another, poured him one, and then ambushed him in the corridor, towel round his waist, hair wet, face slightly relieved.

“I just got up to make this. Promise.”

He took it and nodded slightly, nervously searching my face, me wondering if there was much to find there. _Was I relieved you got up or am I relieved you seem to believe me?_ “Ok.”

“I mean it. Picnic for lunch?”

“Where?” More of a smile.

“Anywhere. Head up towards Ponts and-“

“Perfect.”


	84. L'incendie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - Vanessa Paradis
> 
> Internet situation is worse than I thought so if I don't reply and post more chapters, believe me I'm reading and loving you for your comments etc in email but can't afford the AO3 data :( ♥ it will get better! Just delayed.

_Just say it._ He attacked his now boyfriend with another kiss and felt gentle hands tugging at his t shirt. _Just ask._ “Wait, wait.” _God he looks so worried every time. Like he thinks he’s about to wake up._ “I need to ask something.”

_Anything. Yes, I love you. Yes, I want you. Yes, we’ll do whatever you want._ “Ok?”

“Ok…” Deep breath, although still too close together to be free from the intoxicating effects of Dani. “Which way round…I mean…” _Why am I such a kid when-_

_God, his confidence just evaporates._ “Whichever. I assumed you’d be on top. First time-“

“Oh.” _Victory for Bea. Again._ “Right…”

_Holy shit. You were thinking-_ “I thought you’d want it that way round.”

“I, er…kind of assumed the opposite. I thought you’d want to…” Marc allowed himself the tiniest smile and the cheeky, burning mischief in his eyes crackled around him. “Fuck _me_.”

_Oh, I do. Sometime._ “I do.” Dani ran a little line of kisses up his teammate’s jawline and then sucked a bruise onto his neck, feeling the hum of approval vibrate through his lips and his hair tugged slightly. _I do._ “But I was never expecting you to do that now. Don’t worry.”

The words seemed to sink in slowly, but once they had, and the reality hit him, Marc thought his jeans might burst. _Oh. Oh WOW._ “Oh. Ok then…”

“Good or b-“

The younger rider leaned in again and stole the words, kiss going deeper, blood swirling, breath captured, and ran his fingers over the smooth skin of Dani’s stomach under his t shirt, feeling the shiver under the touch and pushing him down further into the bed, body over his. “Good. Or both.”

*

“Please talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say.”

“Say I’m forgiven?”

“Well I don’t lie, so…”

*

“Sure?”

“Stop asking me that.” Marc pulled his boxers off and then followed them with his own before grabbing them together again for the friction and feeling both of them groan at the feeling. “Stop doing anything except this. No more questions: everything yes.”

Dani nodded and was about to start his own journey down Marc’s torso with his tongue before being beaten to it, tongue circling his tip, confidence and skills incredibly different to the first time he’d done this, reactions just as needy and guttural, especially in the odd moment when Dani could keep his eyes open long enough to look down and watch, _those_ lips swallowing him whole, _those_ eyes casting up to meet his, _that_ tongue straining against his skin and making him come apart at the seams. And down Marc’s throat, now met with a hum of satisfaction, moving back up to share the taste, knowing exactly how sensitive he was and how much more contact to give him, fingertips digging into his back again and leaving little fingerprints, pulling him in and moaning into his mouth as Dani’s fingers wrapped around him, power shifting and leaving Marc the one pinned down, writhing under him, eyes black and intense staring between kisses, forehead sheened with sweat. Dani moved his kisses from mouth to jaw again and then pressed his mouth against his ear, voice low. “Fuck me.” He felt the earthquake under him groan another few seconds as the possibility sunk in and finally let himself relax. _Scared. But really nothing compared to how-_ He lost the train of thought as he was pushed back into the bed, straddled, Marc staring down wickedly, hands running over his torso, thumb flicking over his nipple, eyes fixating on the packet and the tube as Dani reached for them and put them on his chest.

“Face to face or I turn over?”

_Fuck._ “Face to face?!”

“Yes, baby. It’s possible.” He cringed as he used that word again ‘boyfriend’ or no boyfriend still seeming like a barrier, watching the jolt of affection rather than horror pass over Marc’s face as he said it. _That’s all I want to call you._ “Face to face, or-“

“I want to see you.”

*

“Look, I’m sorry. Ok? I’m really sorry and-“

“Yeah you were sorry before. I don’t really know what you want me to say since I’m doing what you want anyway.”

“No, you’re doing the sensible thing. Not just what I-“

“Yeah and if it was up to me I’d be doing my version of the sensible thing: living my life without thinking about this. Somewhere nice and tropical where people leave me the fuck alone.”

“Ok, you know what? Feel free. Feel fucking free.” He slammed the brakes on and swerved into a layby before turning the ignition off and getting out, throwing the keys back in at me, not too hard, just enough to make the point. “I’ll see you later. Turn round or keep going, your fucking choice.”

*

“Have you done this with a girl?”

“Yes.” 

“Then you know what you’re doing…” He trailed off as the cool liquid on Marc’s fingers was suddenly teasing him, gently, pushing against the resistance, and then balled his fists in the sheets as one finger breached. _Fuck. I’m not-_ “I’m not going to last long…” The words came out in gasps, just about making sense, and Marc’s face, somewhere between pride and adoration and fascination at what he was doing to him, definitely didn’t help. 

“Like it?”

He tried to reply but ended up growling at the ceiling as another finger was added, crooked, finding the spot and making his eyes roll back. _It’s Marc. Marc is doing this. Marc Marquez, my teammate-_ “ _Fuck_.”

_So that’s the spot I’m aiming for._ “More?”

“Hnnng…” He nodded and tried to relax. _My boyfriend. The man who’s been driving me insane for months-_ That thought got lost as another, third finger was added, obviously definitely having done this before either quite a few times or with a very insistent teacher, and found his lips attacked with another kiss. _I love it. I love you._ He growled again slightly as Marc’s fingers of his other hand grazed his cock, aware he was getting close to the line between asking and begging, and then felt the world rush up to meet him as the fingers were gone and he felt Marc’s tip pressing against him.

“Ok?”

He nodded and managed to open his eyes, fixing them on Marc’s for a second before he gently pushed inside, incredible restraint, explosion of something for both, Marc’s breath catching at the tightness suddenly around him, Dani’s at the feeling of being so connected and full, both savouring the moment for a second before they caught up and both groaned, clawing at each other again, lips smashing together as he started to thrust, more than gentle enough but not too gentle, Dani’s legs clamping around him and pulling them together in time, fingernails digging into his back, finding a perfect rhythm and listening to the noises they were sending into the atmosphere around them. 

*

“Alex, I’m sorry. Please come back.”

“No. Just go and I’ll see you later.”

“Please, baby, please…I’m sorry. I’m really really-“ I stopped as he finally stopped walking and turned back round to face me, shrugging. 

“I was sorry. It made no difference. You don’t seem to want me there so-“

“No I _need_ you there. I _need_ you there I promise, I just-“

“Well then fucking act like it!”

“I KNOW! I’m fucking trying, ok? I’m trying, I just…I don’t want to go.”

“I know! But there’s a difference: I don’t want to have to go, but I want to go. I don’t understand this. I don’t understand why it’s like the end of the world. And this time I’m not going to apologise, but you need to grow up. It’s not going to go away and there’s nothing we can do about it. I understand how you feel but you can’t take it out on me.” His voice was now wobbly and high. “You _can’t_ , because I can’t take it. I can’t keep pulling you up and then you smack me back down.”

“I know and I’m sorry, but-“

“There’s no but after you say I’m sorry, Livi. You’re either sorry or not.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well so was I.”

*

The kiss was almost the best bit. Or, the kiss made it the best thing in the world. Connected in more than one way, hot breath and kisses raining down, consistent rhythm pushing and pulling him towards the edge, Marc’s body pressed against his as he thrust and bottomed out, not allowing Dani the relief of wrapping his hand around him; Marc knowing, this time, _knowing_ he was doing everything right from looking at the writhing mess unravelling underneath him. Feeling the pressure build in his groin as he knew it was doing for his teammate, nipping his lip as a little, encouraged punishment every time he clawed Marc’s back for more, everything suddenly making some sort of sense now it wasn’t an abstract in his head. It wasn’t sex with a man, it was sex with Dani. And sex with Dani wasn’t scary; it was forcing words from his mouth he wasn’t aware he even knew, making his skin hum with electricity, feeling connected to the person below him how he’d desperately wanted to feel with Bea and had tricked himself into creating, making the animalistic part of him wake up so suddenly it was like a switch had been flicked. But it wasn’t rough. It just felt like they were actually sharing something, rather than taking something from each other. He felt the fingertips dig in again, this time in his ass cheeks, pulling the thrust in to meet one of his own, and then felt every nerve go hot as the word _close_ echoed up from the lips that were briefly unconnected to his. _Me. Me and you. We’re doing this. And I’m not scared. I just want to watch you come undone again and again and again and again, until I get bored of hearing my name growled back at me._ He concentrated on the next few thrusts, deeper and harder and again, knowing he’d hit the spot as Dani’s back arched towards him and he groaned, and then wrapped his fingers around his cock in time, smearing the tip and biting his lip as hard as he’d dared yet, feeling the shudder go through the bed as hot liquid spurted over his hand and Dani wailed at the ceiling, finally letting himself go with a few more thrusts, muscles clenching around him tipping him over the edge, Dani’s name now filling the air, Dani’s fingers digging into his hips to hold him there, Dani’s muscles doing that to him, before he collapsed on top of him, both stoned and panting at each other, eyes closed and skin sticking them together.

_Again and again and again._

*

“Alex, please.” The begging was now calm but through new desperation. “Please. I can’t. If you walk off, I’m going to drive behind you all the way home, because I can’t do this on my own.”

Something in the tone seemed to cut through the anger and a flash of sense seemed to get turned back on in his eyes. He sighed and looked up at the sky. “I’m not leaving.”

“Almost.”

“No.” He shook his head and looked back at me. “I’m not leaving and I never will. I just…this. _This_ winds me up. We never fight, you know?” He watched me nod and then shrugged at me. “I don’t get it. That’s the problem. I understand you and you understand me. We don’t fight. But this…I just don’t get it.”

He watched for a response and then carried on as none was offered.

“I just don’t get it how you let this beat you up. I don’t understand where all this stuff we agree on goes. We joke about the Marquez attitude or whatever, but it’s not ours, it’s just the way everyone is on the grid. And you’re the same. You’re always the same, and you’re usually better at it than us. You pick me up, you pick my brother up, you pick Dani up, you pick Bea up. And you’ve picked yourself up more times than I can be amazed at. But this…why is it so different?”

_Because it makes your life worse. Not mine, not theirs, not ours. Yours._ “Because it’s bigger.”

“It’s bigger, so you fight harder.”

“Yup. I’m supposed to.”

“So…”

“So maybe I’m not quite who you thought.” I started to walk back and found him following me, him the one now grabbing my hand.

“No, you’re exactly who I think you are. You’re just not acting like it.”

“Maybe you’re wrong.”

“I’m not wrong, you are. You’re wrong, and you’re shutting me out, and I’m fucking sick of it.”

“Me too.”

“Then stop.”

“Alex…”

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Talk to me like that.”

“Fine. Ok? FINE.” I closed my eyes for a few seconds and took some ragged breaths, opening them to find him a lot closer. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, I don’t want to hurt you. I love you more than anything and I’m sorry.” _No but with that one, ever._

“I know and I love you, and I’m sorry. I just-“

“I know.” I pulled him into a hug and felt the temporary resistance fade into something much, much worse as he wobbled between crying and not. “Please don’t. I’m trying to…” _Don’t tell him that._ “I’m trying.”


	85. Tears for Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I wrote it so I had to post..now 3.45am here so I'll reply tomorrow hopefully from free WiFi but ♥
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH. I hope you like it, and eeeek was some of this a bit intimate. *fears* (but no tears here, at least ;))

“Morning.”

Dani crinkled his noise slightly at the word and then realised who and why it was, face relaxing into a smile as he managed to open his eyes and yawn, stretching his arms above his head. “Hmmm. Morning.”

“I didn’t think you’d mind but I woke up about an hour ago and I’m starving.” Marc stared down at him and then grinned in a little ‘eek’. “Can I go and raid your kitchen, please?”

“Yes.” The older rider nodded and grinned at him, attacked with a sloppy _thank you and good morning_ kiss, and then snuggled back down for a second before popping back up. “Marc.”

“Hmm?” He turned in the doorway, completely naked and not bothered by that, and then smiled at Dani’s face. “More awake now, hmm?”

“Ybhsdnd.” His teammate coughed and blushed slightly, nodding and shrugging, no need to explain himself. “Yes. Bring some back?”

“That was the point.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, boyfriend now, remember?” He grinned and pointed to himself. “My licence for running off the morning after expired.”

*

It actually wasn’t that bad, although there were no results, yet. Like the phone call, the looming dread of before and the reality of actually doing it were very different, and we’d stopped in Barcelona for the night, not said much about it but not because of any sort of grudge, and then ordered room service and watched a bad-but-great movie, side by side in bed both feeling lazy, his arm around my shoulder and me mostly supplying the popcorn to his mouth, which, after some casual name dropping, the hotel had gone out and found for us. _Another perk of being engaged to Alex Marquez. We get popcorn; I get to feed it to him._ By the time we were both almost dropping off, it wasn’t gone but it was certainly better, and he hinted at that by nibbling my fingers, eyes catching mine and eyebrows raising in slight mischief, fingers moving into my hair and steadying my head for a kiss before I pulled away to move the popcorn, his face betraying a flash of panic and making it all hit me again, melting back into relief as he realised, and then making the next kiss full of something more desperate, clothes disappearing quickly, before he leant on his arm above me like I was something breakable and slowed it down, fingers ghosting over my ribs and making me shiver. Lips soft against mine, enough room in the kiss for both of us to breathe, everything suddenly coming back and making me break it and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him in and pressing my lips against his ear, tears already on my cheeks. “I’m sorry. You deserve better than-“

“Shh.” He shook his head and kissed under each eye, definitely making it a whole lot worse in the best way, and then locked his eyes on mine. “Not now. We’re ok.”

_I don’t think we are, but I know what you mean._

*

Breakfast in bed, gym session in Dani’s little home gym, showering togather, lunch prepared – not cooked was the key – by Marc, afternoon giving themselves some time off and going into the city, both finding it hard to not hold hands and hoping the other agreed, some people recognising them given the glances, but no interruptions, no autographs or selfies, nothing at all except unseasonably blue sky and expensive coffee that was worth every penny. Then back to the car park, back in the car, back to the house, back behind closed doors and cooking dinner together in the most distracted way imaginable, kisses and jokes and messing around, the Marquez _jajaja_ echoing around the house better music for Dani’s ears than the radio they eventually put on, still not running out of things to say as they ate, still not as they bitched and commented on shit TV, still not as they brushed their teeth and locked eyes in the mirror, still not as they got in bed and curled up, mouths finding each other in perfect time, no trace of the fear in Marc that had haunted him so much since the drunken Ninja turtle incident. _I think we crossed a line. A good line, where you’re not too scared you want to run and I’m not scared of you doing it._

“Goodnight.”

Another kiss, shorter and more practical than saying everything else, words unsaid screaming in the back of both of their minds but staying there.

“Night.”

*

I wrapped my legs around him as he pushed inside, fingernails digging into his back and my back arching towards him, clouds starting to fade as he started to move, mouth finding mine and tongue exploring through the moans I could hear myself making. I pushed my head back into the pillow as his mouth journeyed down my neck, finding that spot as he had in Brno that first time we’d ever really kissed, like this at least, the same reaction going through me, the same happy hum of response as he felt it, lips back on mine and my lip nibbled, kiss getting messier and slightly rougher, his hand going between my legs and teasing, not enough pressure to do anything but. _I’m sorry._ I closed my eyes and groaned again as two fingers found my clit, same rhythm as his hips, too slow to get us anywhere fast, both gradually getting lost in the feeling of having all the time in the world to just take turns at making each other swear, the feeling of there being nothing else out there more important. _That feeling._ I moaned again as he took his hand back and moved both arms around me, lifting me up gently and holding us sat up and chest to chest, hours of training useful for more than just Moto3, forehead resting on mine.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I opened my eyes again to find his already waiting for it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.” He shook his head minutely and moved his hands down my back, content my arms around his neck and legs around his waist were enough to hold me there, lips humming into my neck as the muscles in my back twitched under his fingers. “Promise.”

He left that word in the air a few seconds before his lips were back on mine, lowering us back into the mattress and turning us over so I was on top, arms trapping me completely flush against his chest, mouth gasping onto his neck as he started to thrust again, unspoken signal that this time it wasn’t about teasing.

*

“Dani…” _Are you SERIOUSLY asleep?!_ “Daniiii…”

“Hmm…”

“Don’t go to sleep on me, babe. Come on…”

_Babe. Well now I’m awake._ “Hmm?”

“I said…why don’t we turn this off and go to bed? Ironically.”

“Hmm. Sounds good.”

“And suddenly he’s awake…” Marc laughed at the nodding admission and slight pout before pecking him on the lips. “Sorry. Can’t resist you.”

“You know I don’t have a problem with that, surprisingly.”

“GOOD.” The younger rider grinned and pulled him to his feet, flicking the TV off and herding the sleepy rider over to the front door to check it was locked before stopping them at the bottom of the stairs and wrapping his arms round his neck, eyes locked on his. “Tonight.”

“Tonight…?”

“You’d better wake up, Pedrosa.” Marc smiled at him again and kissed him, again, giving his bottom lip a good nip, enough to make him yelp slightly. “Yeah, wake up. I want to fuck you.”

Dani’s eyes widened and everything woke up, starting to laugh as Marc did, both caught up in the slight wonder of those words coming out of his mouth. “Oh really?” _The guy on track and the guy in the bedroom seem to be merging a bit closer together._

“Hmm mmm.” He nodded the affirmative as they started to wrestle each other up the stairs, just about making it to the bedroom door and kicking it open, Marc putting his palm flat on his teammate’s chest to pause as they hit the bed, faces close. “Although maybe what I meant was actually I want _you_ to fuck _me_.” He watched as Dani’s eyes seemed to turn black in real time. “Ok?”

“Seriously.”

“I’m ready. I trust you. And I _want_ you.”

“But-“

“I’m not rushing. I just want to feel you. Now.” _Please._ “Please.”

_I give myself 5 seconds. Maybe not even that._ “Ok. But not face to face. It’s not as-“

“I know.” Marc swallowed slightly nervously and shrugged. “I did some research…”

“Ok.” _Well now I’m listening. Maybe we could do that together. Research._ “And..?”

“And nothing.” He reached up for another kiss and then pushed his hand under Dani’s t shirt, signal received loud and clear, both soon naked except for boxers, Marc breaking the kiss to turn over on the bed, reaction noise from his teammate at the reality of what was being offered going straight to his crotch. _I know. Me too._ “Please.”

*

Dani looked down at him for a couple of seconds before he just about managed to breathe again, getting on the bed and hooking his fingers in the waistband of Marc’s boxers, pulling them down and off with a bit of help from his teammate, his own soon on top of them on the floor, cock now free to strain at the fresh air instead of fabric, sight in front of him almost too much. “Sure.”

“Don’t make me beg.”

_Right._ He reached into the top drawer and got out the lube and a condom, breathing relatively unsteady, leaving them next to them both on the bed and running his fingers down Marc’s spine, enraptured by the noise he made in response, as though he was used to this and knew exactly what was coming and needed it yesterday. “Baby. Can I call you that?”

“Hmm.”

“Ok, well…turn over again.”

Marc did, slightly confused, and then groaned as Dani straddled him, both incredibly hard and sudden contact sending a spike of desperation through both before the older rider’s lips were on his again, tongue teasing, nibbling his lip, hand tracing down his front and wrapping around him, feeling the satisfying and nerve-tingling jolt as Marc’s hips bucked up at him, sucking a line of bruises on his neck. 

“But I-“

“We will.” His teammate kept going, kissing the same route he had the first time he’d really started to consider Marc as something other than straight and confused, goosebumps as his mouth closed around him and sent that same noise into the air around them, fingers tangled in his hair, one of Dani’s hands pushing his stomach down to stop him writhing around, pace tortuously slow, noises spilling from Marc giving that away too obviously, eventually giving in to the pleading and swallowing him whole, another round of swear words hitting his ears as he felt him tense and then let go, coming down his throat and gasping up at the ceiling, grip on his hair suddenly going slack. He swallowed and then crawled back up to take in the ruffled hair and flushed cheeks, eyes closed and then opening to reveal the blown pupils he knew they would, and kissed him again, through the whimpering of over sensitivity as their crotches came into contact again, feeling his own arousal as almost painful now, trying to concentrate on the person below him. 

“But I said-“

“Yeah.” Dani allowed himself a smile, teasing and slightly wicked and hopefully loving at the same time, and then gently brushed his fingers over Marc’s crotch again, watching the reaction. _Yeah._ “We’ll take it slow.”

“Right…”

“Very slow. I don’t want to hurt you, and I didn’t think you had the patience to wait for _everything_.” He watched Marc smirk back at him and start to get it, lips crashing against his again.

“Ok. Understood.” He gasped in a breath as his lips were free and Dani picked up the lube. “And appreciated.”

“Turn over.”

*

“Alex…are you asleep?”

I listened to the complete lack of response and then got up and let myself out onto the balcony, lighting a cigarette and staring out at the city, looking down at my phone and then back up at the view as I smoked one, two, then three, eventually typing out the address and starting to read.

*

Turning over was fine, even in the knowledge of why. Pillow under him, gentle fingers tracing patterns on his back, kisses down his spine. Everything perfect. The first shiver of nerves hit him as the first cool finger traced his cleft, slow and careful, waiting for a reaction that didn’t come audibly. It just felt so intimate. Exposed. Not wrong, just terrifyingly exposed, knowing what Dani was looking at and what he was doing, different this way to the way it had been with him, no eye contact, nothing in the reality except the feeling of that finger gently pressing up against him, feeling the resistance, feeling the little gasp as it started to push inside, the burn as it did waking Marc up further to the reality.

“Ok?”

“Hmm.”

Dani nodded to himself and gently pushed deeper, feeling the muscles strain against him as he did, listening to Marc’s breath get quicker and shallower, this time not from pleasure, more from nerves and pain and the foreign feeling. He kept everything as gentle as he could and pressed a kiss on his lower back, gentle and patient, that seeming to calm him again. “Another, ok?”

“Hmm.” Marc nodded and the winced again as Dani added the second finger, adding a bit more lube and willing him to relax, noticing his hands clenched in the sheets now had white knuckles, everything tense, everything the opposite of what would make it better.

“Hey.” The older rider kissed down his spine again, hand paused, and kept his voice as soothing as he could. “Just relax. It gets better, and relaxing will make it a million times better.” He felt Marc try, muscles relaxing then refusing to again as he moved his fingers, finally managing to relax at least a little bit, Dani then finding his prostate and watching him suddenly twitch and writhe under him, mouth pressed into the bed to mute the swear words, not very effective. “Ok?”

“Hmm.” Another nod, caught in that weird zone between pleasure and pain, but definitely not asking for him to stop. He hit the spot again, Marc swearing and digging his fingers into the sheets again, wailing into the mattress and almost starting to push back against him.

“Another. Ok?”

“Ok. Slow. It hurts.”

Dani nodded and kissed a line over his skin again, giving him a bit longer to adjust before adding a third, listening hard now to the sounds coming from Marc, which had definitely turned back in favour of pain, whimpering slightly until he managed to get his breathing controlled again, relaxing, squirming and swearing as his teammate crooked his fingers again, feeling going from alien and painful to heavenly and fireworks and back quicker than he could keep up with, not as impatient as Dani had expected, maybe finding it more painful than _he’d_ expected, knuckles white and face burning almost just from the knowledge of what he was doing, or rather, what he was allowing Dani to do, still feeling more exposed and vulnerable than he’d ever remembered feeling in his life. “No more yet.” He choked the words out and tried to relax into the sheets, cock hard again and responding to every inch.

“I know.” The older rider gently scissored his fingers, as slowly and carefully as possible, listening to the same quick breaths coming from his teammate. “Ok?”

“Getting better.”

“Good.” He bent his head to flick his tongue over Marc’s crack and felt the younger rider quake underneath him, another groan muted into the fabric in front of him. “Just relax, baby. I promise, it gets better.”

“I know. I trust you.”

_I know._ “Ready?”

“I think so.”

“Ok, then we’ll wait a bit longer.” He dipped his head again and licked around his fingers, Marc squirming again but positively, pushing back against his fingers slightly but definitively, that all the signal Dani needed. “Ok. Ok?”

Marc nodded into the sheets and actually formed a word. “Yes.”

_Ok._ Dani gently started to push, the sharp hiss of an intake of breath searing towards him, Marc’s knuckles white again for a split second before suddenly he seemed to obey the advice and relax, just like that, maybe his head finally catching up with what his body was asking for, and he moaned again, differently to before, shivering at the feeling. “Ok?”

“Yes.”

_Ok._ The older rider bit his lip for a second, feeling too much to really take in, knowing he had to restrain himself, and then gently, slowly started to move, Marc responding similarly, still gasping, knuckles still sometimes white, before Dani found his prostate and the same wail and shiver went through him, starting to push back against him for more, burn still there but nothing compared to _that_ , suddenly understanding everything from the other side and how Dani had unravelled in front of him, swearing again as another thrust hit that spot. “Fuck. _Fuck._ ”

The word made Dani’s hair stand on end, almost already heading for the edge, concentrating everything he could on the person in front of him instead of himself, reaching around to wrap his finger’s around Marc’s cock and feeling the groan as he did, definitely pushing back against him now, noises needier and needier, _shame about the lack of kiss_ , noise of skin on skin making him bite his lip in a desperate attempt to not just give in, Marc then pushing back against him harder, _close_ choked out into the sheets, Dani hitting that spot again and feeling the younger rider squirm, gasping at the mattress, eyes tight shut, then groaning as he came over Dani’s hand and let go, Dani doing the same and thrusting once and twice more, feeling the relief and pleasure roll over him like a wave, collapsing on Marc and panting, just aware enough of the world to press his lips against the soft skin in front of them, murmur coming back at him, before he pulled out, gently, and paused a split second as Marc didn’t move, no reaction at all. _Please say you-_ He shook his head to clear that thought and headed for the bathroom, cleaning himself up and binning the condom, taking a damp towel back out with him and nudging his teammate with a kiss on his upper arm, Marc’s face still buried in the pillow.

“Baby. You ok?”

“Hmm.” A little nod, affirmative but not glowing. 

“Turn over.” He gently moved him over onto his back and cleaned his stomach, Marc oversensitive and twitching at the contact, that the only reaction, like dead weight. _Shit._ “Marc, please speak to me.”

The younger rider rolled back over onto his front and shook his head slightly into the pillow, curling himself up, chest starting to move and Dani’s heart dropping as he realised what he was doing. _Please don’t cry. God, I mean…please don’t-_ He was about to start pleading that out loud before his boyfriend’s hand found his and laced their fingers together, pulling Dani in, nose to nose or would have been if he’d not had his face in the pillow, hand then gently tracing Dani’s cheek, the older rider no idea what to do except follow the prompts.

“Just tell me what to do. You want me to stay here?”

Another nod, the hand on his cheek moving down over his neck and then snaking under his arm, pulling him in until he was close enough for Marc to move his head to Dani’s chest instead of the pillow, still trying to hold it together and failing, but at least relaxing as he felt arms go round him and a kiss planted in his hair. _If I’m good enough to be the pillow I guess it’s not something I’m blamed for._ He managed to calm himself down over a few minutes, aware somewhere in his head that this was much more intimate in reality than what they’d just done, and finally managed to open his eyes again and shift up the pillow to meet Dani’s.

“S-sorry.”

_Never apologise._ “It’s ok. Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Marc smiled slightly through the tears, even more as a gentle thumb traced at least one side away, cheeks starting to burn with the embarrassment slightly, more aware where he was with his eyes open and that proving even more terrifying and incredible at once. “Not much.”

“Ok. Good. Why tears, baby?”

_And if I wasn’t sure, now I am. The way you say that, I think I’ll listen to that forever._ He stared back into the concerned brown pools looking at him and swallowed, gathering a bit more courage, pressing his lips against Dani’s briefly again as if to check, and then closed his eyes and rested his forehead against his. “Overwhelmed.”

“Freaked out or-“

“No. Well, a bit. More the other thing.”

_The other thing._ “The other thing?”

“Hmm.” He nodded and traced Dani’s lips with the tip of his tongue before breathing him in and pulling him a bit closer, eyes welded shut, heart hammering and same emotional tsunami crashing back over him, making his voice waver slightly through the words. “I love you.”


	86. Adentro // Plan Colombia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of used one of these moments in Gasos before but...It's kind of my favourite thing so... :/ might keep happening ;)
> 
> Thanks so much ♥
> 
> Slight fluff maybe? At least for one cheesy line ;)
> 
> And half the title... I'm feeling more satire-ish than normal. Sorry. ♥

Dani felt his heart drop through the bed and then back up, whacking back into his chest, still staring and unbelieving of the words, especially after he’d been about ready to hear the words _I made a mistake, this isn’t going to work._ “Wh…”

“I love you. Sorry I’m crying like an idiot. I just…I spent so long panicking and…well…didn’t have to.”

“Wh…”

“You don’t have to reply.” Marc stared at him a few seconds and smiled, not expecting anything in return, just suddenly needing to say it. “I just-“

The words got lost as Dani pressed their lips together again, preparing himself to say it, needing a confirmation, to feel Marc there, tingling joy shooting through him as he felt his tongue let in and his lip nibbled, hands pulling him in, tears dried and calm returning, pulling away and leaving his hand cupping Marc’s face, both a bit breathless. 

“You mean it?”

The younger rider swallowed and nodded. “I mean it.”

_I think he does._ “I love you, too.” _And now it’s my turn to cry._

*

“Come back to bed.”

“Can’t sleep.”

“You’re not trying.”

“I was. Then I-“

“Livi? Please just come here. Please.” The way he said it made it obvious it was for him as much as me, and I did, snuggling down next to him and playing my fingers across his chest and feeling him relax.

“I’m really sorry I know I’m being a shit girlfr-“

“Fiancé.” He grabbed my hand and kissed my ring finger. “ _Fiancé._ ”

*

“You don’t have to rep-“

“No, no, no…I’ve been trying not to say it for a while because I didn’t want to scare y-“

Marc did the same as Dani had before and cut him off with a kiss, both grinning into it, rolling in the sheets slightly and pinning him down, grinding down on him and the growl sending a shiver down his spine, both faces amazed and too blissfully caught in the moment. “You’re not going to scare me anymore. I just want _more_.”

_Just the way you say it makes it fairly obvious what you mean._ “Now?”

“Well I don’t know…” Marc ran his hand down his stomach and grabbed his cock, hardening again already, grinning evilly at him. “Ok maybe now I do…”

Dani felt his brain start to turn off again as the dark head of hair disappeared under the covers, kissing a line down to where his hand had now let go, circling his tip with his tongue and feeling his hair tugged. _Just more. I love you._ He swallowed him down and shivered again as Dani’s hips bucked up towards him, teasing him a bit longer before crawling back up to face to face and pulling him on top of him, clamping them together with his legs and groaning into a kiss. “Now. More.”

“I don’t think-“

“Dani? More. Again. I want you again. Please…”

_Please…_ “But it-“

“I want to feel you, again, and I want to do it after what we just said. _Please._ ” He nipped his teammate’s lip and then pulled out a condom and the lube, staring up at him. “I’m not going to break. I don’t have to ride. Come on.”

Nothing.

“Dani, fuck me. Fuck me. Please.”

“Please don’t-“

“Daniii.” The words were now almost like a pleading child. “Dani please, please just fuck me again. Harder. Longer. More. I love it. _I love you._ ”

He watched for another response, still not much, before squeezing some lube onto his fingers and moving his hand lower, that finally making Dani give in and grab his hand, licking them clean and then doing it himself, watching as the rider under him writhed and unraveled again, no fear this time, straining against him, more relaxed, more open after they’d only just done it a few minutes ago anyway, slightly sore but nothing terrible, shaking his head as he was asked to turn over, pulling Dani towards him and taking a few deep breaths. “Not this time.”

The older rider nodded, everything on fire, the feeling almost too much to sink in; he had Marc, he loved Marc, apparently Marc loved him, and Marc was now grabbing his ass as he lined himself up, pulling him in, feeling himself stretch, gasping at the feeling, legs holding him there, mouth capturing his, tongue circling his, blood swirling with his, moans echoing his, muscles tight around him like there wasn’t an end of one and the beginning of the other, teeth grazing his neck as he hit his prostate, fingernails digging in in response, back arching and kiss deepening as the thrusts did, wailing at the ceiling as he was pushed towards the edge, slowing them down, arms pulling Dani to him, chest to chest, stopped almost, eyes locked together, pausing a moment before his mouth met his again, encouraging him to move again, moaning and gasping through the kiss again, another wail, completely gone and unraveled and in the moment as Dani wrapped his fingers around his cock, meeting his thrusts, hand tangled in his hair, eyes starting to roll back and noises getting needier and needier until everything went tense and he shuddered, Dani’s name spilling from his lips as he came over his hand, stroked through it, muscles clenching and pulling the same from his teammate, Dani thrusting a couple more times and letting himself go, this time definitely better than the last, unbelievable crash of physical and emotional pleasure hitting him at once as he came, held there by Marc’s legs, faces still so close together as he blacked out from reality for a second, hearing his breath coming out in gasps and then feeling some of it stolen by the Cerverina, still there, tongue still needing his, lips swollen and bitten but still desperate for more, eyes fluttering back open and staring at him as they both groaned slightly and then stared at each other.

“Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Marc nodded at him and underlined it with a quick kiss, moaning complaint as Dani tried to move, holding him still and another flash of something crossing his face. “Stay there. A minute. I…er…”

“Ok.” Dani did, now softening and sensitive and the feeling quite strange, question obviously on his face as Marc leaned up and pressed his lips against his ear, voice a low whisper.

“ _I like it._ ”

“Hmm?” He closed his eyes and rubbed the end of his nose against Marc's, for some reason, both humming in happy satisfaction.

“ _Inside me. I…can’t explain-_ ”

“You don’t have to.” Dani pressed a few kisses along his jaw and looked back into his eyes. “Nothing.”

_It feels like it's meant to be this way round. And like it's meant to be you._

*

“I have to go away for work soon, you know.”

“Don’t.”

“You could come with me?”

“Ok. I’m listening…” He smiled and lolled his head towards me. “You need to test 5 star hotels next, right?”

“Hmm. That would be good.” I grinned at him and shrugged slightly. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere?!”

“Pretty much. Unless I’ve already been…”

“Ok…so where have you been?”

“I think it would be easier if you say places and I’ll say yes or no.”

“Hmm. Right. Well…I don’t really care…as long as I don’t have to do much, I won’t got recognized loads, and you’re there.”

“So everywhere…?”

“Hopefully.” He pulled me in for a kiss and then sighed happily, or at least mostly happily. “What about South America?”

“Really?!”

“Yeah..?”

“That’s a long-ish flight though-“

“Yeah and a really long way away from everything. Right?”

“Well…yeah.” _Good point._ “Where?”

“Anywhere we haven’t been. So…anywhere except Rio Termas?”

I laughed at that and pretended I was trying to think up if that left anywhere at all. “Ok. Sounds good. There’s one place I really want to go, if you’re up for it. And if you follow my safety rules like you’re a pet not a _fiancé_ …”

“Right…” He raised an eyebrow and smirked. “I could try…”

“Then I want to go to Colombia. Cartagena.”

He sniffed and rubbed his nose in a terrible, terrible cliché of a joke and then whined as I whacked him. 

“No. No drug jokes. Otherwise I will give you a 3 hour powerpoint presentation about Ronald Reagan.”

“Uurggh not Reagan...”

“Exactly. So…you wanna dance some salsa, baby?”

He wiggled his hips and then his eyebrows as I started to attack him with kisses, little ones littered all over, finally ending up lying on top of him and staring down.

“Pleaseee…?”

“Sounds good. And I will be your pet, I promise.” He licked my cheek and then grinned. “Starting now.”


	87. YES YES YES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I'm so absent here in terms of commenting and replying, and on tumblr. :( but ♥
> 
> Have what apparently turned into 2000 words of hot-ness as an apology? ;) :/

“Ok so here we say _carro_ for _coche_ , and _plata_ for _dinero_. Ok?”

“Ok…” He smirked at me again and then started to walk out of arrivals, me pulling him back and pushing him towards the taxi service. 

“Nope. Registered taxis only. _Especially_ in Bogotá.”

“Ok, Miss. Lead on.”

I laced my fingers through his and pulled him towards the window, booking us to Candelaria and then heading outside into the cool, breezy air of the Colombian capital.

“FUCK!”

“What?!”

“Cold.” He pouted at me and then smiled as I rolled my eyes and we got into the car, snuggling down together in the back seat and showing the driver the ticket, me explaining where it was. “So you’ve been here before.”

“Yup.”

“I thought-“

“Not been here for work, though. And never to Cartagena.”

“Ok…”

“And you’re sure about the whole backpacker thing? Because we have the money to change our minds right n-“

“No, I’m sure. Normal traveling. Undercover. Sounds amazing. At least until the Caribbean.”

“Ok, good.” I squeezed his hand and stared out at the city lights, knowing where we were going or more or less, following the lights of the Colpatria tower like the North Star as we headed onto smaller roads, weaving up to Candelaria and then up the hill to the hostel, University building on the right as we swooped up the one way and then back down to park outside, Alex looking at me with wide eyes as we passed soldiers on the street corners.

“After dark. Well…after around 10, it goes dead. Those guys and bad guys only. It’s not too dangerous, I promise. Not for people, anyway. More for your wallet.”

“Personal experience?”

“Not here. Bucaramanga, yeah.”

“Where’s that?”

“East towards Venezuela.”

“Right…”

“We’re not going to Venezuela, don’t panic.”

“Not panicking. Just…it’s cool to see you in _your_ element.”

“Ok. Good.” I nodded and pointed we’d arrived to the driver and then passed forward a wad of pesos, making sure he got out first to get the luggage out of the boot. _Old habits._ Alex propped them up on the steep street and mournfully watched him drive away as I rang the bell and answered, pushing through and holding the door for the bags, into the courtyard and towards reception, then helping him up the stairs with my bag, into the room, private double shared bathroom, luggage dumped and then back downstairs to see who was around, intent on giving him the full backpacker experience from day 1. I sat down at a table and pulled on the original, borrowed Brno hoodie, him wearing a plain black one with a Honda logo, and introduced us to the smiling people already sat down, feeling him relax gradually, heading through to the fridge to grab a beer.

“Anyone else?”

“Yup.”

“Club or Aguila?”

“Aguila.”

I smiled at the chorus response, Aguila cheaper, and grabbed a few bottles, writing down what I’d taken and passing them out, relaxing against Alex as his arm went round my waist and lips pressed against my ear. 

“Ok so maybe this is actually quite fun.”

I squeezed his knee and nodded, looking round the faces in the small courtyard and then sighing happily. _Yup. Proper escape._

*

“Seriously. He’s in Colombia, not Kandahar.” Dani grabbed the phone from his fingers and put it back down on the sofá next to them, wrapping an arma round Marc’s shoulders as he gave up and collapsed against him. 

“But he’s alone. Or…they’re alone. It’s weird. And makes me worry.”

“I know. I understand. But Livi knows what she’s doing and where they’re going. And they speak the native language.”

“But he’s 18.”

“Yeah, he is. And he spends his weekends racing motorbikes.”

“Hmm.” Marc smiled sideways at him and took a deep breath. “I know, it sounds stupid.”

“Cute.” Dani grinned at him and pulled him down to really get comfy, kissing the top of his head. “But yeah, stupid.”

*

“So…where first?”

“Well…we don’t have long here so I’d recommend we do Montserrat, the monastery on the mountain, and walk round Candelaría. Club in the Zona Rosa if you fancy it, at some point…up the Colpatria tower for the view…and head out to Zipaquirá to the Salt Cathedral.”

“Will I like it all?”

“Yes.”

“Then sounds perfect.”

And we did exactly that, arriving in Cartagena three days later and finally able to ditch the hoodies. 

*

“I don’t want to go home. But I have been here way too long to ever explain, already.”

“I know.” Dani nodded sadly at him and passed him the olive oil, last day together in Geneva, last lunch, deciding to lock themselves in the house for the last bit and ignore the impending goodbye. “But like I said, I can find reasons to be in Spain _really_ easily. And depending how I feel once you’ve gone I thought that might have to start…on Monday.”

“Really?!” Marc’s eyes lit up and he grabbed him in a hug from behind. “Going to miss me, too?”

“You keep forgetting I felt it first.” Dani grinned as his cheek got attacked with a kiss and tried to wrestle him off, ending up face to face, holding Marc’s wrists behind him. “Just because you said it first…”

“And don’t you forget it.” The younger rider leaned in and pressed their lips together, wrists freed and wrapping his arms around him, kiss much more intense than they’d been expecting, bracing themselves against the work top and breaking away, panting. “I’m seriously going to miss you. I have to go back to an empty bed in my parents’ house. _They’ll_ probably be having more sex than _me_.”

“Eww!”

“I know! Exactly. So please please come and see me…”

“And have sex with you in the room next door to-“

“No! I have Alex and Livi’s keys so we can stay there. I already asked, in case I needed to escape.”

“Ok when I said Monday maybe I meant Saturday.”

“Really?!”

“Really. I like that house, I can fill my diary easily, and I could even take you up on that old Rufea invite-“

“YES. YES. YES.”

“Ok that’s it.” Dani suddenly grabbed him between the legs and grinned wickedly at the choked whine of sudden pleasure that created, undoing the button of his jeans and pulling them down, then boxers, Marc just stood there waiting, eyes burning into Dani’s. “Over the counter. Now.”

*

“I know it’s touristy but the view is good, right?”

He nodded and knocked back the rest of his beer before grabbing my hand across the table, both looking out over the square in the Hard Rock, Cartagena de Indias. _Paradise._ “Touristy is good. Sometimes.”

“Definitely agree. And I loved the hostel and the undercover and everything but I’m pretty happy we have air con, a fridge, and a _very_ large bath waiting for us.”

“Me too.” He caught my eye and then looked over my shoulder as the waiter came back, taking our plates and replacing our drinks with another round. “ _Me too._ ”

“I didn’t realise how bad we are with that until we didn’t have a soundproof-ish room.”

“Bad?!”

“You know what I mean.” I smirked at the smirk and nodded. “So in answer to your unanswered question YES we are leaving soon and locking the door. Ok?”

“No, I’d rather sit here and drink expensive beer.”

“Oh I’m sure.”

“Honestly.” He grinned and then signalled the bill, paying it as quickly as possible and necking the end of another beer before a wink as he dragged me back down into the heat. “See?”

*

_We’ve had too much sex. Not possible, but…_ Dani blushed slightly at the thought as he pushed inside, so much less resistance than there should have been for someone who’d never done it once before this trip, one thrust bottomed out, hands covering Marc’s on the top of the counter, laced together and proving a hand hold as he slammed into him, the younger rider’s grunting all he could hear over the noise of skin on skin. Marc hadn’t had experience. Now, Marc was very experienced. Relaxed. And if _used and abused_ wasn’t the right phrase, and it wasn’t, then all he could think of to describe it was just…experienced. _More easily…accommodating?!_ He nibbled a line of kisses on his teammate’s lower back and tangled one hand in his hair, rough but not too rough, noises getting needier until he wrapped his hand around him and bit his shoulder, hard enough to earn a moan and a growl, sending him over the edge and coming on the cupboard door in another little mess amongst many they’d made around the house. Dani held tight to his hair and buried himself again as Marc rode it out, sending him following into firework land soon after, both leaning there panting and trying to get their breath back.

From a few days, the trip had become unexplainably long. And from once – or twice- in one night, it seemed like a switch had been flicked, and they’d crossed a lot of boundaries. Ones that Dani had been over before but after months, Marc not needing that at all. His thinking seemed to have been that the one barrier was anal sex, so once it was done, it could be repeated and repeated without any additional thought process. He’d been spanked, they’d used toys that Dani had eventually admitted to owning, he’d been up for every position they could google – both enjoying the benefits of being athletes – and they’d switched back a couple of times, because Dani liked the variation, but this was now how it was. Marc was a bottom. And Marc wasn’t anything like he’d expected in bed. Once he’d trusted him, and admitted how he felt, he wasn’t the guy in control of everything, pushing it to the limit; the opposite. He was the one handcuffed to the headboard groaning at the mixture of pleasure and pain, and he was the one doing as he was told when Dani switched into that voice that had first made his eyes go black. _Over the counter. Now._ It was nowhere near BDSM, but it wasn’t what the older riding had been expecting. Although, it was still 80% 'lovemaking', if that word did it justice.

They cleaned up and had lunch, went for a run and then showered, and then picked up the message on the answermachine. _Both clean._

Dani looked across at him for a second and they locked eyes, this one final thing probably going to be tested within the hour – no condom needed - and then walked over and wrapped him up in a hug.

“I love you. And so you know, _I’ve_ never done this with a guy before either.”

“Then finally we both get a first. Right?”

“Exactly.” He ran his hands down his back and kissed the crook of his neck. “After dinner?”

“Perfect.”

*

“Bath’s ready.”

“Wooo!” He barrelled in and grinned at the look on my face. “Boo. Why aren’t you naked?”

“Like before. That’s half the fun, isn’t it?”

“Pff. I’d hope not half…”

“Ok maybe I meant a twentieth.”

“Better…” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pinched the zipper on my dress, slowly pulling it down, eyes on mine. “But still…”

“Maybe a hundredth…”

“Ok, I’ll take that.” His hands pulled the straps off my shoulders and kept pulling until the dress was on the floor, lips going to my neck. “Sounds like an attainable challenge.”

I let myself go slightly slack and leaned against him as his tongue swirled, hands pushing under the fabric of my underwear and squeezing my ass, pulling me in and both moaning at the contact. “I’m sure you’ll do your best.”

“Absolutely.”

*

“Ok?”

“You fucked me almost dry in the kitchen before lunch and you’re really asking me that?”

_I think it's safe to say we're comfortable with each other by this point, then._ “Fair point. But this is different.”

“I know.” _Exactly. This isn’t 5 minutes. This is where we try and say everything._ Marc nodded into the kiss and pulled him closer, breath catching slightly as he felt his tip gently push against him, mood going back into the slow, tortuously emotional zone it had been for the past half hour. _Half an hour to get undressed and kiss. Half an hour._ He moved himself slightly on the towel – lights on low, fire roaring and on the living room floor just because they could – and then gasped again as he felt Dani push, lips still locked together, skin on skin this time, nothing in between them, feeling the difference in circumference as he pushed further in and bottomed out, sending stars shooting across the younger rider’s vision, starting to move together, slowly and aiming it perfectly, even the noises they were making nothing like the ones from the quick fuck in the kitchen – slower and softer and more careful to express everything, everything fluid and flowing in a perfect rhythm, kisses gentle and wet, no teeth, no rush, no pressure. They managed that for a while until Marc could feel himself getting too close and said that, pace slowing again, almost not moving except for their tongues, Dani gently pulling out and kissing a line over his torso, previous record in restraint going to be broken tonight, rolling onto their sides and taking it back a step for a while until Marc pulled him back over him and pushed his head back into the floor as Dani pushed back inside, that feeling still one of the most amazing, when it was slow and determined and teasing, bucking his hips up to meet him and pausing again before they started to move, Marc relaxing into the floor and letting himself go under the shower of kisses, cock grazing Dani’s stomach sometimes as he thrust, making him whimper and quiver under him, until eventually he dug his fingernails in and moaned louder as Dani’s hand wrapped around him, feeling the pressure pool in his groin, feeling Dani speed up slightly and his tongue strain harder against his, hand move quicker, both recognising the signals in the other, breath getting quicker until Marc gave up and let his eyes roll back, orgasm crashing over him and making him groan into Dani’s mouth, going slack in his hands as his muscles spasmed, coming over his fingers and pulling the older rider in a few more times until he felt him do the same, inside, this time, really _feeling_ him come, nothing between them, holding him against his chest as he shuddered and moaned through it, another few kisses before he gently pulled out and collapsed next to him, hand finding his, staring at the ceiling in silence for a while. They waited until their breathing was normal again until Dani sat over him again, licking his stomach clean, moving lower and tongue circling Marc’s hole, cleaning him off, catching the drip, tasting himself, younger rider’s cock already starting to respond again, knowing what Dani was doing making his mind explode, feeling his hand tangle gently in his hair as he did, nodding at the silent question and giving himself up again. He tasted Dani on his tongue, crotches pressed together and both responding, almost ready to go again, Marc whimpering as fingers suddenly pushed inside him, crooked and finding the spot, incredible but so soon, everything still over sensitive, unable to stop himself writhing around this time, Dani replacing his fingers with his cock as soon as he was hard again, this time a bit quicker, a bit more desperate, the faint taste of copper, teeth grazing his neck as he rocked them back towards the edge, moans replaced by their names and swear words.

_Trying to say everything._

*

_I remember thinking you had skills, before._ I grabbed his hair a bit too tightly and almost hiccupped as his tongue flicked my clit again, no other noise apt to describe it, unable to control myself as every nerve ending suddenly got flicked on fire. _But fucking hell did you still find room to improve._ I moaned again and tried to stop moving around too much, embarrassingly needy, his humming responses sending another wave of pleasure over me before he did it again, and again, and again, faster and faster until I had to grab the pillow next to us and bite into it, hard, trying to muffle the noise and keep some sort of dignity intact as I arched my back and toppled over the edge, hand grabbing his hair harder and holding him there as I shuddered, other hand twisted in the sheets and thumping the mattress a few times before I finally went quiet, like a whiny animal in the death throes that had suddenly given up.

_I don’t think there is any more room to improve._

He crawled back up me and moved the pillow, sharing the taste and running his fingers over my ribs, grin evil, before nipping my lip as my legs went round his waist to pull him in, hands guiding until he leant down again to kiss me, slower this time, hips loosened from an evening of salsa, all of me incredibly grateful for that and making noises that made it sound like the animal was alive again, and it certainly felt like it.

_Fuck fuck fuck._ I gave up on trying to keep that in and felt him grin again as I swore at the ceiling. _Yeah, fine. You win._


	88. Back to Normal

“Bye then…”

“Bye…”

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Dani grabbed him into another hug, tight muscles still evident in the hoodie reminding him of what he’d be missing more than just his teammate’s company. “I love you. Please don’t forget that.”

_You mean Bea._ “I won’t. I love you too. And I’ll see you soon. Right?”

“Yes. Before Alex and Livi get back. Plan?”

“Plan.”

One more kiss, and then Marc turned and walked out like it was the most casual thing in the world, conscious of the waiting taxi driver. _Bye. Dani Pedrosa. My boyfriend. Who I love. And probably, being honest, who I’ve certainly had more than friendly feelings for since the day he walked into the garage in Cheste for the first time and actually welcomed me. As an equal. But bye…see you soon. Casual, as though I’ve loved people before and then had to walk off and get on a plane._

He went straight through security and into the lounge, messing with his phone and finding a tweet from Alex about salsa in Cartagena, the old, small pang of jealousy now gone and forgotten, just happiness and pride at seeing him enjoying himself.

Marc: _Miss you already! Pathetic, I know. ;)_

Dani: _Jaja I thought you’d give in first :P_

Marc: _Pfff why?? :P_

Dani: _I know you too well now_

Marc: _Some would say ‘intimately’ ;)_

Dani: _I think they’d be right. ;) Thanks though, best end of season I can remember for years. I’m really glad you came. And I’m really glad I don’t have to spend another year trying to ignore the way your ass looks in those leathers :D_

Marc: _Was just thinking about this…well…kinda? ;) I think I first noticed how hot you were in that first test. But didn’t realise what I’d realised._

Dani: _Hehe well to let you into a secret I definitely didn’t get up super early to make sure I looked presentable ;)_

Marc: _Pervert :P_

Dani: _You were 19. That is not perverted :P_

Marc: _Hmm…maybe not? But anyway…thank YOU it’s been amazing. And don’t know what else to say really…just…love you, and get back to Spain soooon please! Xxx_

Dani: _You too, and I will. Promise. Have a safe flight. Call me when you’re back?_

Marc: _Yes. And I forgot Alex told them. Cringe…plus I, er…sitting down is a bit…tender. ;) jajaja_

Dani: _Jeje you swear you’re the same guy as the Ninja Turtle night, right? Running off and panicking?_

Marc: _Yes. I’m free and in love with a Repsol Honda rider. Life is sweet. Boarding now…bye bye xxx_

*

“Hello!” He grinned as wide as he could and wrapped his dad in a hug, giving him a squeeze and then letting him take the bag and put it in the boot, using that time to sit in the car and gently as possible, face burning slightly at the reality, massive amount of giggles pent up and ready to go if anyone noticed. Because no one would ask. Everyone would think it was a crash. Except the people who knew, and there were only two of them in the same country, and one of them was there. _And with both of them I think I would die of shame._ He tried to ignore the awkwardness unspoken in the car for about 10 minutes, until they were finally heading up the right road and he managed to turn and smile. “So…”

“So…”

“Hmm. Alex told you.”

Julia swallowed slightly and nodded, looking the opposite way. “About Dani?”

“Yeah…”

“Yup. You happy?”

_I can’t explain._ “Yes.”

“Then that’s what matters. That and not doing anything stupid.” His dad went red as he said that, realising the implication too late, and risked a glance back at his son. “You know…”

“Yup.” _Oh burning shame please leave this place._ “It’s fine, we got tested.” He said it, thought about it, and then went even more purple. _PLEASE DON’T MENTION WHAT THAT MEANS._

“Right.” Cough. “Ok…”

“I trust him.” _WHY._

“Ok. Just…be careful.”

Marc nodded and looked out the window again, caught between laughing and crying, and then got out his phone, having to share.

Marc: _“As long as you’re happy and don’t do anything stupid.” “It’s ok, we got tested and I trust him.” GREAT._

Dani: _Jajaja oops…he get the implication?_

Marc: _Marc Marquez: Bareback Rider. Yes he did. The shame is like the heat of the equator._

Dani: _How’s the sitting down?_

Marc: _Challenging. Fuck off Pedrosa :P it’s your fault anyway._

“Texting Dani?”

Marc looked up at the sound and nodded, aware his face was probably pathetically lovestruck and realising how difficult that was going to be to keep under wraps around people who didn’t know. “Yeah…just, er…laughing about what I inadvertently just told you.” He grinned again, or maybe grimaced, and then started to laugh as his dad did, awkwardness dissipating gradually, silence more and more normal until Marc leant forward and put the radio on.

_And I know that you’re going to tell mum._

*

“I don’t think I’m going to be ready to go home, you know.”

I looked across and grinned at the sight of him, laid out flat on a sun bed, new Cartagena, next to the beach, away from the history. “You look like you’re pretty settled in, to be honest.”

“Yup. We should extend it.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I think it sunk in about an hour ago that I’m a world champion.”

“Ah, shit. Well it was nice knowing you.” I got an errant, badly aimed smack on the leg as he tried it without opening his eyes. “Hey!”

“Pff. You know what I mean. Not arrogantly…just…I won. I mean…I _won_. Don’t need to go home for a while. Don’t need to do what I’m told.” He went into some sort of bad New York accent, in English as well, and pointed at himself. “Champion of the World. Let’s stay longer.”

“Here?”

“Any other tips?”

“Well we did mountains…kind of, if Bogotá counts…we did sea. Jungle?”

“Ooh there’s jungle?”

“There’s lots of jungle. Most of which we cannot go to under any circumstances. But there is a little bit of jungle we can go to.”

“Why can’t we go?”

“Really don’t want to talk about this here in their native language but it’s a conflict zone. Pretty much. That’s why everyone takes so many internal flights.”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry I was quite tired when you did the presentation…FARC, right?”

“Ok it was an informal introduction, for a start, and yes. But don’t just yell it.”

“Sorry, Miss.”

“Alex?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t fuck about with this stuff. Like last night…”

“What?! They were nice.”

“They were. And they were rich. And they came back from the bathroom sniffing like Steven Tyler in 1975.”

“Well yeah, I’m glad they left, then. But we didn’t do anything?”

“I know. But we joke about it because it’s ridiculous. Especially for World Champions like YOU! But here it’s not, it’s a reason some people even bother coming here. And it’s fucking bad if they catch you, and you don’t have to be red handed, you have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Those…other people you mentioned? Don’t want to meet them, no. But really, really don’t want to meet the supposed good guys either.”

“Right. Remind me again why I came here for a holiday?”

“Because it’s the real world. And it’s amazing, but…” I trailed off and sighed slightly. “Ok I know you don’t want the political run down or anything right now but basically, the rich people fuck it over, and the poor people die.”

He went quiet for a minute and then sighed. “Sorry I sound like a 15 year old on a school trip.”

“No, I don’t mean it like that. I don’t want to talk about it either. We’re here to see the good stuff. Not the time.”

“Sure?”

“Promise. No judging. You’re smarter than me, anyway.”

“Pffff whatever. I can’t add 4 and 5 together.”

“Yes you can. And you speak millions of languages. School isn’t the same as smart.”

“Good job.” He tilted his head up, squinting in the sun, and squeezed my hand. “I’m loving it, anyway. Just not used to it.”

_I know, baby. It’s weird this way around._ “I know. Jungle?”

“Jungle.” He nodded and settled back down before screeching slightly as I poured a glass of cold water straight onto his chest. “LIVI!”

“Just getting things back to normal…”

*

Sofa was ok. Eating dinner, just the three of them, was weird, and the chairs were _really_ hard. Marc thought he’d got away with it – pretending he was distracted on his phone and absentmindedly, slowly lowering himself into the chair, and breathed a sigh of relief as no one said anything. They ate, they talked, they all found it strange but not in a bad way, and then he went to bed.

Marc: _Book the flights yet?_

Dani: _Doing it now._

Marc: _When for?_

Dani: _Monday. Can’t do before :( Alex and Livi extended, yeah?_

Marc: _Yeah. :D_

Dani: _Right, I’ll meet you there. :) picking me up would be a bit weird I think…_

Marc: _Sadly agree. I think I’m going to go over tomorrow…it’s weird at home with no Alex and Livi even coming round to see us, and it’s weird there’s no ‘next race’._

Dani: _Won’t get bored?_

Marc: _Might invite Tito. And…can I tell him?_

Dani: _Sounds good. And do you trust him?_

Marc: _Yes._

Dani: _Then yeah :) let me know when/if you do. And sorry baby I have dinner plans now so I need to leave you._

Marc: _So cosmopolitan :(_

Dani: _Not really…it’s the guys you met on Thursday. They’re coming over._

Marc: _Ok :P have fun. Speak tomorrow?_

_No answer, no answer, no answer. Pfff._ He eventually rolled over slightly and grabbed the Playstation controller, playing 5 clasicos in a row on Fifa and then nodding off, leaving Andrés Iniesta waiting to take a penalty that he never got round to, waking up to feeling a bit better at least.

Dani: _Sorry…yes and hope you slept ok. Xx_

Marc: _I did. I’ll call you later, then. (Am I too clingy?!)_

Dani: _No. Not for me :) and sounds good. I’m training 2-4 then free._

*

Bea: _Are the boys back in town?_

Marc: _This one is. You?_

Bea: _Working in Lleida until Friday. PLEASE COME AND SEE ME, I’M DYING_

Marc: _Awww your only friend is away… :P_

Bea: _My only friend who would bother coming up here, YEAH! Plleasseeee??_

Marc: _In a hotel? ‘Cause that would be awkward. (I mean for being spotted in public!)_

Bea: _Urghh can’t we go and have dinner or something? I’ve not laughed with someone in real life since MONDAY, Marc. MONDAY._

Marc: _Oh I see so I’m just the entertainment?_

Bea: _IS THAT A YES_

Marc: _YES OK. But why don’t you stay at Livi and Alex’s house? Not that far._

Bea: _No key! Last minute._

Marc: _Idiot! I have the keys! I’m moving in there for a week and a half from in about 4 hours time. Tito’s coming Friday-Sunday, Dani’s coming on Monday. Guys night tomorrow hopefully too. Free bed, free Fifa, maybe even free beer if they don’t notice?_

Bea: _ARGGHH really? Awesome :) yeah I’ll be over about 7 then. Ok?_

Marc: _Yes :) that’s good, maybe I’ll feel less lonely! And remember…HANDS OFF. ;) jeje_

Bea: _Don’t remind me :( :P house rules?_

Marc: _No noise after 2am, no untrained house guests, and no Jorge Lorenzo :P_

Bea: _Can definitely promise the first two ;)_

Marc: _The last one is the important one :P_

Bea: _Fuck off World Champion, I’m trying to work_

Marc grinned at that and smiled at the prospect, relaxing back into the pillow and yelling a ‘yes’ in reply to his mother’s question of ‘coffee?’, then cringing and wondering how popular that idea would be with Dani.

Marc: _Ok so…going over to Alex and Livi’s today. Tito’s coming on Friday._

Dani: _Ah ok :) jealous._

_Oh the irony._

Marc: _And…Bea’s coming to stay tonight, until Friday. She’s working in Lleida._

Dani: _And you’re still going?_

Marc: _I invited her. You’re ok with that? Hands off…separate bedrooms. Guys night tomorrow as well._

Dani: _I trust you. She’s happy for us?_

Marc: _She’s basically the reason I’m not freaked out anymore. Yes. :)_

Dani: _Ok. :) say hi from me! Xxx_

_And leave out the abject panic I’m now feeling._


	89. If Dani Was Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's not quite in order but should make sense? ♥
> 
> Thank you so much ♥ !

_Funny how awkward isn’t important when there’s something bigger._ He looked down at his chest as best he could to check she was still asleep and felt her murmur slightly as he combed his fingers gently through her hair. _Much, much bigger._

*

Marc: _I seriously need to talk to you._

Alex: _Ok well we’re awake? Call me?_

Alex picked up the phone and held it to his ear. “Hey. Everything ok?” I watched his eyes widen at the soft, choked _no_ from the Cervera end and sat up in bed as he did, sharing a look. “Woah, woah, woah. Calm down. Start from the start.”

*

“Ahhhhhh…” I sighed overexcitedly and stretched out in my seat. “Air con.”

“I know. I know. But I don’t think we’ll be moaning about that back in Bogotá.” He turned his head to look at me and raised his eyebrows. “Or I, certainly, have learnt my lesson.”

“I know, I know. But only a couple of hours. Then, my friend, you are going to learn about heat.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes really.” I grinned and nodded. “And not with the sea and a pool and everything. Dusty. Not very pretty, but weirdly awesome. And really really cheap petrol from over the border.”

He grinned and rolled his eyes. “I love you, you know. You explain the weather, whether it’s beautiful, and then the price of gas.”

I laughed slightly and shrugged. “These are important things!”

“Definitely agree. How long’s the flight?”

“In reality about 55 minutes. They just officially give themselves longer because no one’s on time.”

“Ah. Ok. And then…?”

“Taxi. Unless you want to take the bus?”

“Hmm…”

“The bus used to be hell but the road might be fixed.”

“Er…maybe taxi.”

“Yeah, I agree.” I grinned and rested my head on his shoulder. “This is weird, you know. You being here.”

“Why?”

“Just…I was so different when I came here. And now here you are, making everything amazing…”

“Well same to you.” He whacked a kiss into my hair and then copied my slouch. “Ok yeah this is pretty comfy.”

“Told you. There’s no pride worth being uncomfy for.”

“Words to live by?”

I pointed at my jogging bottoms and nodded, trying to be as solemn as possible. “ _Especially_ today.”

The cabin crew locked the doors and we looked at each other for a second, me in disbelief that the Moto3 World Champion was now on a plane headed to catch a plane headed for the border, him in disbelief that I’d already done all this on my own from random curiosity. And then we were slightly moaning about the cold, drinking a _tinto_ and me having a smoke back in Bogotá, before heading back in and getting on another plane, little extra few days backpacking before the jungle, and then landing in the evil, dusty, finally untouched by tourism outpost that is the city of Cúcuta. We took off our jackets in tandem in the sticky heat and I flagged down a taxi.

“Unregistered?”

“Those rules don’t apply anymore. Now you just see if you think they’re evil looking or not. And check the taxi looks half reasonably official. And able to reach the destination.”

“Right.” He nodded as though that made sense. “You know I’m glad we’re here together but I’d like it if you never go anywhere outside the EU on your own ever again?”

“Pff whatever.” I grinned and whacked him as we got in. “Think I’ll do Iraq next.”

“After this I’m not even sure you’re joking? I mean…obviously here is beautiful and pretty safe. I just mean…you’re not intimidated by _anything_.” He widened his eyes and smiled. “And it’s amazing. But also quite intimidating.”

“Ah yeah. Box fever.” I winked and smiled. 

“Eh?”

“That’s how it feels sat in the box watching you race.”

“Right…” He shrugged in happy acceptance and fanned me with the magazine he was holding. “Well then thank you for turning up that morning in Brno, if this is what it was like.”

“Maybe a bit.” I laced our fingers together and stared out the window. “But Dani was there. And if Dani was here…”

“Pfff. God I thought we were going to make it a whole trip without hearing you squee about Dani…”

“NOT A CHANCE.” I grinned and shook my head, evading the fingers trying to prod me. “Be realistic!”

*

“Right…” He looked back at me and grimaced, eyes still on mine as he spoke into the phone. “And how is she?”

I frowned at that and got up to turn the light on properly, both of us blinking and trying to readjust, wondering who the she was since Marc was evidently a lot more stressed than his brother, so probably not Roser. 

“Right, ok. Yeah, I understand. She’s still there?...Right …Right, ok…how are you?...yeah I can imagine. No, Livi’s here but she can’t hear. Want her to?...ok…no she’ll understand…I’ll go outside on the balcony for a minute…”

He got up, eyes trying to communicate everything from ‘sorry’ to ‘don’t worry’ and doing a good job, then shutting himself out on the balcony and leaving me staring at the ceiling. _What the fuck is going on._ I picked up my phone to check it, no messages, and tried to think about it rationally, tried to not listen in, and tried to relax before my brain could draw any crazy conclusions. After about ten minutes he reappeared and dropped the phone on the bed, climbing back in next to me and wiping his eyes slightly. _Oh God please tell me what happened._ “Ok?”

He shook his head slightly and buried his face in my neck. “I’m fine. Just don’t like hearing him upset.”

I nodded and ran my fingers through his hair, wondering if I’d get the explanation now or ever, feeling him take a deep breath and calm down, face popping up again and eyes on mine. 

“Basically, everything went wrong.”

*

“It’s not what it looks like! Stop yelling.”

“I just found you in the same bed, Marc. How is that not what it looks like?!”

“Yeah, ok. We were.” The younger rider ran his hands over his face, far too tired and defeated by the previous day to do much more than just shrug and apologise. “We did last night, and we did on Wednesday night. But if you’ll let me explain-“

“I don’t think I need to hear it, to be honest. You’re not even trying to make it sound-“

“I don’t have to, if you’ll just listen-“

“I think I’ve heard enough.” His teammate slammed back out through the door and over to the car, Marc too frozen in place to do much about it except sigh and hang his head, staring at the floor for a few seconds before the tears started, completely worn out and suddenly just giving up. _I thought you’d at least try. I thought you’d maybe take a look at me and figure out there’s something going on._

“Marc?”

“Hmm?”

“He went.” _Don’t cry again._ “He went.”

“Fuck. I’m so so-“

“Stop apologising, please. Just give me a hug.” He closed his eyes again as she did, bittersweet memory from the first time, and the time when he’d freaked out about Dani, and the last few days when he’d been the one doing the soothing, and she’d been the one getting his shoulder wet. “We didn’t do anything wrong.”

“He’ll listen when he’s-“

“Can we just go back to bed?”

She nodded against his chest and pulled him back to the bedroom, switching how they’d spent the night and wrapping her arms around him. _Just one more thing I’ve fucked up for everybody else._ “Sorry.”

“Don’t. Has to be fixable.”

“Ok.” She ran her fingers through his hair and bit her lip at the sudden wave of affection that hit her. _I really, really wish you were mine, and I wish all of this was a bit different, but mainly I just wish you never had to feel like this._ “I’m sure it will be. Go to sleep.”

He nodded against her and then started to wipe under his eyes before giving up and letting her thumb trace the evidence away instead. _I’m glad you’re here._

“Shh. It will be fixable.”

*

“Hey!” He opened the door and then froze, taking in the mess in front of him, feeling himself automatically reach out towards her. _What the fuck…_ “Are you ok?”

“N-no.”

_Oh God. Don’t cry._ He pulled her into a hug and walked them back through the door, kicking it shut and then leaning against the nearest kitchen counter as she clung on, front of his t shirt starting to get wet. _God._ “Shhh.” _Please tell me what happened._ “What happened?”

Nothing.

_Please…_ “You’re not hurt?...Bea? Please answer. Are you ok?”

She shook her head and gave him a squeeze, words muffled in his t shirt and completely intoxicated by how easy it would be to never explain. _But I have to, have to explain._ “No. Phys…” Deep breath. “Physically…hmm…ok.”

“Ok.” _Hmm…?_ “Nobody hurt you?”

She shook her head again and hung on a bit tighter, following blindly as he moved them over to the sofa and wrapped her up, side by side facing each other, face still buried in his chest, leaving her to calm down for a few minutes, quiet returning gradually until she was breathing at a relatively normal pace. He swallowed and took a deep breath before giving her a squeeze. 

_What to say to the woman who explains nothing._ “Bea. You don’t have to tell me anything, but I’m here if you want to. Ok?”

She nodded and took a deep breath. “I have to tell you. That’s why I still came after…I mean…” She trailed off and choked slightly before another breath. _You. Just you._ “I have to tell _you_.” 

_Me? Why?!_ “Ok, well…whenever you’re ready. We’ll stay here until you’re ready. Ok?”

Another nod, and another few minutes, before she took another deep breath and moved her eyes up to meet his, voice not steady yet but more readily understandable. _Please, please don’t panic like I am._

“W-we need to talk about…some stuff. Because I know what I want to do, but it’s not just up to me...I mean…we have to decide together.” She watched him frown back, not understanding at all, before a tiny, fearful spark started to appear, getting brighter as she bit her lip and nodded back. _Yes, I think you guessed._ “Yeah. And it’s yours.”


	90. It's No Game (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wifi in the park again!! Wooo!! ;) :D
> 
> Cannot wait for home internet (that's the problem ;))
> 
> Anyway...part 1 of two uploads for today, or maybe three depending since I'm home aloooone tonight :D enjoy, and thank you SO MUCH! 
> 
> Title - David Bowie

He stared back at her for what felt like an eternity, watching her face change as he did, wondering what he was saying in the expression and what he wasn’t. “You’re pregnant.”

“Yeah.” She nodded and buried her face in his chest again, mainly to take the pressure off him having to reply or respond how she wanted rather than naturally, and so she couldn’t see what she’d expected to be horrified panic on his face. “I don’t know how, but I guess these things happen. Right?”

“Yeah.” _I guess they obviously do._ “When…I mean, how long?”

“Not that long. I mean…that’s why we need to talk. Because there’s still…options. But I can’t deal with this on my own, Marc. I can’t-“

“Hey, no no no. You don’t have to. You really really don’t have to.” He gave her a squeeze and pressed a kiss in her hair as her voice started to wobble again and felt a brief flash of guilt at the thought of Dani. _But, extenuating circumstances. Very extenuating._ “We made it happen together so we deal with it together. I promise. Ok?” _A baby. Me and Bea, we made a baby. A tiny human being. Fuck._

_I think you’re a superhero._ She let that sink in for a second and then started to cry again, more from relief at not having been shown the door and panicked out the house, not that she’d expected him to be mean, more that she’d expected him to not be able to be perfect _all_ of the time, and grabbed on a bit tighter. “I hate you, Marc. I hate you.” She smiled through the tears and made eye contact again, same smile through tears on his face, understanding exactly what she meant, or almost, and he shook his head slightly.

“Well that’s not a great start…”

She laughed and shook her head. “Don’t. Don’t, please. You know what I mean.” She closed her eyes and took another few deep breaths, fingers going through her hair, and then cleared her throat. “You could have just closed the door.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“I think it’s stupider to have been expecting this reaction than the other one.”

“Well maybe with other people. But not me. Ok? Now you said you thought you knew what you wanted to do. You ok to talk about this now or do you-“ _Am I ok to talk about this now?!_

“Yeah. I…I know what I want to do, I think…but it’s not fair on you if I didn’t even tell you.”

_So something you could have kept secret. So not keeping it. Right._ “You don’t want it.”

“Honestly? I didn’t. And I don’t, especially now, because you’re with Dani. Ok?”

_Oh Jesus._ “You mean-“

“Yeah, I mean I like you that much. I miss you. And I know it’s my fault or it was because I wouldn’t let you in but…maybe now I’m 99% sure I don’t want it. Maybe in that case, more like 80%. I’m sorry I’m not trying to steal you-“

_I know exactly what you mean._ “No, it’s ok. Honesty is good. Yeah?”

“Ok.”

“And I kind of feel the same. I…” _How do I say this?_ “I love Dani. I can’t change that. But if he…I don’t know. We got close. You understand? Me and you we got really close to-“

“I know. But he wins. I understand that, and it hurts, but believe me I’d rather be friends with you than make a big thing of it. There’s just…” _Please mouth, stop talking._ “…there’s something about you and you’re important to me. Because you understand me-“

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I really know what you mean.” _And that’s the problem. Do I want kids? Badly. Do I want them now? No. Will I get another chance in my gay relationship that I want to carry on forever?_ “That’s the problem, isn’t it?” _We’d be really good at this, in a few years. And we’d have the coolest kid ever. Except for Alex and Livi’s._

“Y-yeah.”

“Bea?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for telling me. Let’s just let it sink in for a while, yeah?”

“Ok.”

*

Dani: _Hey, I’m delayed 2 HOURS. :( storm. So I’ll drive up in the morning. Ok?_

Marc: _Yeah that’s fine :) sorry :( see you tomorrow then…I’ll leave the key under the mat. Xx I love you. Really can’t wait to see you._

He read them again and bit his lip before dropping the phone back on the passenger seat and shaking his head. _Yeah, sure. Except you just used that time to call her and do the one thing you promised you wouldn’t. How long did this last? Two weeks?_ He pulled back out onto the motorway and tried to concentrate on driving rather than crying. _Two weeks, and you’ve broken my heart already._

*

“Wh…what happened?”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second before looking back at me. “Bea’s pregnant. It’s Marc’s. They found out on Wednesday. Had a rough weekend…then…today she was meant to go and have an abortion but couldn’t do it. She says she will and that’s what they decided, but today was a bit too soon, I think. And Dani was visiting, and he turned up to find them curled up in bed together. Nothing happened, but he doesn’t believe that and walked out.”

“Oh God.” I stared back at him for a few seconds, too shocked to really process it, and then took a deep breath. “Is…I mean…is Marc ok?”

“Hmm…no. He really cares about her and she really cares about him, I think. Not like Dani, but…yeah. And they don’t want a kid, now. But I mean…it’s difficult because-“

“Because Marc only sees Dani in the future and Dani can’t-”

“Yeah. And can you imagine how great they’d be-”

“Don’t.”

*

Marc: _I didn’t touch her. We went to sleep because we were both really upset. If you can’t give me the benefit of the doubt after everything and before when I told you as quickly as I could, then I don’t know what to say. I’m not talking about this stuff in a fucking text message and I really, really needed you to turn up and be here because this is a mess._

Dani: _So you’re saying I should just drive back up and believe you’ve not cheated on me already with the hottest girl we’ve seen for years, and who is half in love with you?_

Marc: _Yeah, because you should trust me and trust that I love you._

Dani: _And you’re not going to even bother explaining?_

Marc: _Face to face, yeah. If I’m not worth that, your choice._

Dani: _So you’ve been caught in a bad situation, I’m in pieces, and I’M the one who has to make the effort._

Marc: _I’m not leaving her on her own, so yeah. Sorry. Please let me explain._

Dani: _I think that’s all the explanation I need. We’re done. See you in Sepang, teammate._

He read that felt and his lip quiver slightly, seeming like a good idea and a reasonable idea and then suddenly seeming like he threw them off the edge himself, and then smashed the glass in his hand into the sink.

_Maybe it’s for the best, then. If you think I’d do that to you in 5 minutes._


	91. It's No Game (Part 2)

“So…what do you want? Other than to rewind-“

“I wouldn’t rewind, I promise.” He took a deep breath and shifted them slightly, admittedly enjoying the feeling in some ways of having his arms around someone and having someone curled around _him_. “I just…we can’t do this, can we? Not now. And I…I guess that means not ever. But I don’t want to pressure you if-“

“Honesty. You’re being perfect, just keep being honest.”

“Ok. Then yeah, I don’t think we should keep it.”

“Ok. Me neither.” She took a deep breath and leaned up to press a kiss on his cheek, feeling him lean into it and both breathe each other in slightly. “I just…I can’t do that alone, either. Maybe I seem like I’m bulletproof but-“

“No, whatever you want. Whenever you want.” He laced their fingers together and squeezed her hand. “I’m not going anywhere. Promise.”

*

He sat in the room for what felt like hours, watching her fill in the form with shaking hands, trying to ignore the glances, despite the private place and promised low-drama clinic, hand still holding her free one, feeling it sink in as he could see it sink in in her. _This is it, today. Like it never happened._ He didn’t believe it was a person, not yet. But it felt weird. The possibility of something made by them, that could be a person one day, just rubbed out from history in 10 minutes.

“You ok?”

She nodded and squeezed his hand. “Think so. You?”

“Yeah. It’s just…weird…”

“I know.” She met his gaze and then swallowed, hard, as someone called her name. _Here we go. This is the right decision._ She walked over where she was beckoned and looked back at him, watching her go, sharing a moment in the moment, before finally she was sat alone facing the woman and the questions, chest getting tighter and tighter as it started to sink in, going over and over that look on his face that seemed to have been mirroring hers. _I think we’re right, doing this. Aren’t we?_ She closed her eyes for a second and focused on that, then got to her feet and shook her head. “This is too soon. We need to think about it.” 

And that seemed ok, and it seemed like they’d made a sensible decision because they had weeks left to make it, before they were in the car on the way home, not talking, thinking the same things, pulling up at the house, going inside and then collapsing against each other both at the terror of there having been any doubt, and the fact that they were still in the same situation they had been when they’d woken up.

“I think we’re right I just need-“

“I know.” 

Back to the sofa, like when she’d first arrived, only moving to get some food and for Marc to call Alex, then wordlessly heading for the bed once it was dark, Bea sitting on the edge of it and staring into space while he used the bathroom, lost to the world until gentle fingers found their way under her t shirt and undid her bra, letting her shrug it off underneath her top and putting it on the floor, followed by jeans, then socks, picking her up and putting her in the bed like she weighed nothing, going round the other side and taking his clothes off, boxers on, everything else off, guiding her back down to how they had been and leaving his hand under her t shirt in the small of her back, memory of how he’d managed to get her to sleep before when she’d wanted to run off seeming fresh in his mind, feeling the same relaxation start to go through her and finally starting to feel himself relax, leaning in to whisper in her ear.

“Ok?”

She nodded and pulled herself in a bit tighter, her fingers digging into his back and clinging on, feeling his chest get slightly damp and wishing she would just stop _crying_. “Sorry. And thank you.”

“Don’t apologise, baby.” _Oops._ “Just go to sleep.”

“O-ok.” She nodded against him and took a deep breath, feeling him shift them slightly and then something click as they got it right, perfectly surrounded and safe, drifting off and leaving him staring at the ceiling.

 _Sorry Dani. I love you. I promise._ He looked down at her and closed his eyes for a second, conflicted to the core at it how felt, with his arms around her, like a wall between her and the world, and somewhere in the tangle of limbs a tiny, tiny person they’d made, as though they’d both automatically curled around it; her, and then him, nobody and nothing able to get in between, and let out a long sigh thinking about how that felt. _It feels so almost perfect. The other me. Where I’m the one you lean on, physically, and you’re the one I lean on, emotionally. Where I’m the cliché man protecting you from things you’re much stronger than me at dealing with anyway, but sometimes, like now, you still need to just let me hold onto you for a while and feel safe. Your head, my chest._

He stared at few more minutes, thinking about those few conversations he’d had, with Alex, Dani, and even Livi. Where he’d said those words; _I just want something like olivia,_ thinking back on being curled around Dani, him the center of the world, him the thing being protected. 

_And this is it. And maybe I don’t feel safe, and adored, and on fire quite like I do with Dani._

Another sigh.

_But I feel, somehow, important. Like I have a role._

*

“Hey…” He walked in and frowned, thinking it was a bit late for Marc to not be up, not recognising the other car parked outside. “Marc?”

He wandered down to the bedroom – the second one, expecting him to be in there, and then knocked on the door lightly and creaked it open, next words catching in his throat as he saw them.

_No._

“M-Marc.”

He watched the flash of panic, watched him untangle himself, watched his lips automatically press a kiss into her hair before he’d woken up properly and realised where he was and what was happening, and then watched him climb out the bed towards him, boxers on at least, following him out and back towards the door pleading and trying to catch his hand.

“Dani please don’t jump to conclusions, it’s not what it looks like. _Please._ ”

And maybe a tiny part of him noticed the red eyes and the tired desperation in them, and the way he seemed like he was wearily following him, short on sleep, like he was holding himself back from giving in completely and just draping himself over him, pleading. Like he was seeing a rescuer turn up and then walk away. And maybe a tinier part heard the female-voiced promises echoing out the bedroom, and maybe some of him thought about the little hints at something having been bothering his boyfriend since Wednesday, remembering he’d been told they needed to talk about a few things. But the most part just felt sudden, white hot anger and hurt hit him in the chest and propel him back to the car, those other thoughts only surfacing again once he was back in Barcelona staring into a glass, trying to hold himself together, feeling the doubt start to creep in, but knowing with horrible certainty now he’d left it too long. Reading the messages again where he was given the chance to invest, realising he hadn’t, and another wave of unsure guilt and pain hitting him as he pressed the button on the lift to go back to his room, curling up in the sheets and trying to switch off his brain, and everything else, tossing and turning until daylight started to shimmer on the other side of the blind.


	92. Tumbling Dice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title- Rolling Stones. I think there'll be another before I sleep, I'm into one of those phases trying to get to a certain point... :/ again not quite in order...
> 
> ♥ thank you.

“It’s up to you. We have to go back to El Dorado anyway, so…”

He frowned at that and I realised the problem. 

“The airport. Bogotá.”

“Ah, ok. Well…yeah…I mean…we can’t do much can we? But I really don’t feel like going and getting on a riverboat now and-“

“Me neither.”

“So home?”

“Home. I’ll call them now, get me another coffee and then we’ll get a taxi back to the airport here. If I get the flight home tomorrow on Avianca to Barcelona sorted then we can just go to Bucaramanga airport and buy the ones back to Bogotá at the desk. There’s loads of flights daily and the flight leaves at night so we have time. Ok?”

He reached across the table and grabbed my hands, nodding and then looking back up at me. “Sounds like a plan. And thank God you’re here.”

I smiled at that and squeezed in return. “I wouldn’t be much use in your world, either. I’m glad I finally have something to contribute.”

“Whatever. You’re like 80% of us at least.”

“Pff. Flattery.” I grinned and got to my feet. “I’m going to be non-native and ask for a cappuccino.”

“I think I’m white enough for them to expect that anyway.”

I pulled his vest slightly off his shoulder to see the tan line and pretended to weight it up. “Hmm…”

*

“Hi.”

 _You came back. A day late. You came back, and I think it’s really too late._ He stood there and looked at him for what felt like a year, feeling all the conflicting emotions trying to figure themselves out, eyes locked together. “Hi.”

 _Oh God._ Just the look of him was enough to make that horrible doubt a definitive reality. _You don’t look guilty. You look like I’m guilty._ “I…” _What do I say?_ “I’m here…to listen…If you want to-“

“ I think it’s too late.” Marc wobbled a bit and took a deep breath. “Because Monday was one of the worst days of my life, and I just wanted you to be here and help. But you didn’t. You decided you didn’t trust me, and she’s been the one, somehow, holding me up. So what can I say to make that rewind?”

“You can’t. Maybe I can. Maybe we could talk..? Because I don’t have a clue what’s-“

“No, exactly. _Exactly._ I love you, and you don’t have a clue. We did things I thought I’d _never_ trust anyone enough to do those things with, Dani. And ok, it didn’t look great. But you didn’t even give me a minute even though I could tell you knew something was wrong-“

“It hurt.” _Please please please please-_ “It hurt a lot because I love you so much. And I’m sorry I obviously got it wrong-“

“Yeah, you did. You got it wrong. And if you want to know what we were doing on Monday that made us need that, we went to an abortion clinic. We went, and then we came back, because we don’t know what we’re doing now. So that’s what it is. I was never going to throw her out and I wouldn’t do now even if it turned back the clock.”

He felt that sink in and went cold, stakes raising another million, feeling his heart drop through the floor. _Oh God. Oh my God._ “God I’m sorry I didn’t know-“

“No, I was going to tell you when you got here. I didn’t know until Wednesday, well… _we_ didn’t. I think you should go.” He watched him flinch at the pronoun ‘we’ and bit his lip.

“No, please.“ Begging now, more crying than not. “Please baby, I’m sorry. Please just-“

“No, sorry. I…can’t deal with this right now and all I want…” He took a deep breath and tried to get his voice level again, first tears falling as he binked. “ _All_ I want is to invite you in and have you make it better but you can’t. Not now. So just…go. Please.”

“No Marc ple-“

“Don’t make me shut the door. Please, please don’t make me shut the door on you.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds, both sets of eyes filling with tears again before Dani’s mouth twitched as if he was going to say something else, and the door swung shut.

*

“Hey. We’re coming home. Tomorrow, so we’ll be back on Thursday your time. Ok?”

_“You don’t have to-“_

“We want to, we really want to. Please don’t complain.”

_“I just feel really bad-“_

“Yeah, I know. So we’re coming home. You would, too, Marc, come on.”

_“Well…ok. But only if-“_

“We’re sure. Love you. Keep going.”

_“I love you too, and I will.”_

*

“Eggs?” She held up the pan and smiled weakly at him, another wave of _that could have been mine_ she swallowed down quickly, trying to ignore the perfection. “We didn’t eat for a long time. Not a good idea.”

He nodded and sat down at the table, rubbing his eyes and flattening his hair. “Thanks.”

“Wrong way round.” She smiled at him again, properly, as he smiled back with a slight blush and then took a deep breath, looking down at the plate. 

“I can’t believe he didn’t come back. Or…I can’t believe he’s just…gone.”

“He’s not gone, he’s just-“

“Don’t. He’s gone, and it hurts, and I felt guilty, and I want him to come back. But…he just went. Didn’t even-“

“He’s hurt.”

“I would have heard him out, in reverse. Without a second thought. I’d have been begging him to prove me wrong.”

“Maybe he’s been hurt before. You don’t know.”

“I think I know enough.” He took a few mouthfuls and stopped, fork hovering and hand shaking slightly. “I just…I mean…you know. You’re the only one who knows what it took to-“

 _Yeah I really do._ “Don’t drive yourself crazy.”

“I’m not. I did things with him I never even thought about until I fell asleep with him on that sofa. And I…” _What am I trying to say that isn’t completely pathetic._ “I thought I was…safe? Now I feel like I was a complete idiot.”

“I know what you mean, believe me.” Her eyes widened at his face and she shook her head. “No, no not you, not at all. But this is different. It’s Dani.”

“It was.”

“It still is. How you feel hasn’t changed, has it?”

“No. I just thought he was…that person. I thought we were those people. Who wouldn’t let this happen.”

 _Ouch._ “You mean you thought he was going to be your hero. Open the door, put you first, hold your hand when you cried.” She watched him get the meaning and smiled sadly. “Yeah, I know. I understand. And I know how it feels when they don’t. But now…I also know how it feels when they do. And I love you for it, but it doesn’t mean we’re meant to get married. People make mistakes.”

“Don’t. It wasn’t a mistake, he just obviously doesn’t feel like I feel.” He took a few more mouthfuls and then looked back at her. “I care a lot about you, you know? And that’s why I’ve done ok, right? Why-“

“It’s different. I promise.”

“It doesn’t feel different. It feels like I fell in love with a lie.”

_Maybe that’s better than falling in love with the truth, two months late._

*

_I made a mistake._

He stared down at the plate of food in front of him and sighed.

_I made a big, big mistake, I think. Because you’ve not called back. You’ve not come running. You meant everything from ‘it’s not what it looks like’ up to ‘I’m not leaving her alone’._

He bit his lip slightly and took another mouthful before stopping again.

_And I didn’t even ask why._

*

“Hello…?” I pushed the door open and helped Alex manhandle the bags back in before turning on a few more lights, grey weather outside not enough. “Anybody here?”

“ _We’re in here._ ”

I looked at Alex and frowned, him mirroring, and then we walked down to the second bedroom and opened the door. Marc and Bea, wearing matching outfits that were definitely Marc’s, jogging bottoms and Alpinestars t shirts, sat in bed playing Fifa, which they’d obviously moved from the living room, smiles way too bright. Ice cream tub between them, one spoon. _This is so conflicted between the most teenage boy thing I’ve ever seen and the absolute gayest._ “Hi.”

“Hi.” They both looked up at us and smiled again, slightly wobbly but not too bad, obviously having had a lazy morning of playing the brave face, Bea doing a better job of it and carrying on. “Ok flight?”

Alex. “Business. More than ok.”

Marc. “Good.”

Me. “You want us to leave you alone a while and maybe make some lunch?”

Marc. “Not very hungry. Come and play if you want?”

I watched Alex nod, understanding that my Marc telepathy wasn’t as good as his and so it was obviously the best plan, and they shuffled up, Marc’s arms going round her, still holding the controller, Bea passing hers to me and me passing it to Alex; regardless appreciative of the non-sexist gesture. He did the same with me, Bea picked up the ice cream spoon and started eating some more curled up around him, and we went straight back into the game as though it was a pre-planned date night and not a random Thursday morning in November, waiting for some kind of signal as to what we did next. And it came. _I would have believed it. It’s not too far if he had someone else, but he just scooped her up like that was completely normal. And maybe after this last week, it is._

“I broke up with Dani.”

I looked at Alex and found the same questions in his eyes as mine. _You did it? Like you talked again. Like he came back?_ “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Me too. So was he.”

I closed my eyes and took in the tone, knowing and readying myself for the point in a few hours when the dam burst and he let it go, and then felt myself clench the sheets as he looked back at us.

“Also, a clinic in Barcelona left a message for you to call them back. I wrote down the number.”


	93. Cervera Thunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4000 words, chapter 93...thank you so much for reading and kudossing, it means so so much to see it :)
> 
> This is the moment I've been flailing at since about Chapter 70; I was finally brave. ;)
> 
> FIrst bit is snippets from the day they get back and the day after, second bit is slightly further on. I hope it all makes sense. ♥

_“I’m sorry to have to tell you, but you do have a much, much higher risk of developing…”_

I zoned it out and tried to pretend I was standing up on my own instead of leaning on the wall, taking in big gulps of air. _I know. I knew. Somehow, I knew._

_“As you know and we talked about when you came down, there are options available to you…”_

_Have kids now. Or have no kids._ I bit my lip and lit a cigarette as I slid down the wall, hoping everyone else was still asleep, and rested my head between my knees. _Everyone always said we were like opposite sides of a coin. And somehow, we are. You get the accidental pregnancy, and I get this._

I took a few deep breaths, fooling myself into thinking I had it completely under control, and then walked back through the house to the front door, letting myself out that way and into the garage, finishing the cigarette and throwing it onto the drive before pulling on a jacket and helmet, gloves last on as I started the engine and winced at the noise, riding off with a start Lorenzo would have been proud of, knowing that had probably woken him up, knowing that he’d probably figure out what I’d done. My phone rang after 4 minutes and I didn’t answer. I got about 3 junctions down on the motorway and then pulled into some services, giving myself 20 minutes to cry before I’d carry on, sat next to the bike on the floor, helmet off, soaking the gloves to my hands as I wiped my eyes, aware of the self-pity. _So close to perfect. So close._

*

_“Are you allowed to talk to me?”_

The sound of his voice almost broke my heart. “Yes. I’m your friend, Dani. And I always will be.”

_“Oh. Ok. Where are you?”_

“I’m at home. Where are you?”

 _“Still in Barcelona.”_ I bit my lip as I heard him choke down a sob and did the same. _“Leaving feels like leaving.”_

“I can imagine. Did you try again?”

_“No. Well…I left some messages. He’s not picking up. I just…how did this happen, Livi? How did I fuck this up so badly and so quickly-”_

“You made a mistake.”

_“But I love him so much, Livi. I…”_

I listened to him cry again slightly and felt myself well up. _Oh, baby._ “I know.”

_“He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’ve fucked it up.”_

“I don’t know what to say except don’t give up. It’s been a really bad week-”

_“But I think that’s making it worse. And I don’t know if I deserve him. I…I don’t think I do. He let me in…I mean…he came to Geneva and we…I’ve never had anything like that. I’ve never…no one’s ever just…trusted me…I mean…like that. He just…it was perfect. We had fun and it was hot but I just…can I say this?”_

“You can say whatever you want.” _I just wish your voice was steady and you were brimming with love like last time I spoke to you._

 _“Ok…well…I just…I just remember how it felt, the first time. How trusted I felt, running my hands over his back and feeling how nervous he was. How long it took him to relax. And he cried.”_ Another flash of guilt hit him at sharing the intimate detail. _“He cried because he’d been so terrified and it…he didn’t need to have been and something just…clicked…and he told me he loved me and I’ve never felt anything like that. Never. How did I-“_

“Dani.”

_“Yeah?”_

“Is this helping or is it making you more upset?”

There was a pause before I could imagine him nodding. _“Sorry. I know. I just…I don’t know what I can do because if I don’t talk about it it feels like it never happened.”_

“I understand. I’m…I’m going to come down and see you this afternoon, ok?”

_“Why are you being nice to me?”_

“Because you’re my friend, and that’s true no matter how many mistakes you make. Text me the hotel?”

_“I’m a mess.”_

“I don’t care. I’ll see you later. And I’ll give you the biggest hug I can manage.”

*

 _Pick up your phone. Pick up your fucking phone._ He leaned his forehead on the table and slammed his palm into it next to him. _Please pick up the phone._ “Livi, it’s me again. I don’t know where you’ve gone but I can guess why and please, please come home. Or at least call me when you get this. I love you. Bye.”

*

“Do you know what that call was about?” He let his fingers gently play over her back and tapped her to check she hadn’t fallen back to sleep. “Bea?”

Half asleep. “Hmm. The cancer thing.”

 _What?!_ “What?”

“The…Livi had tests to see if she had a higher risk…”

“Oh. Shit…” _Shit._ “I…so…that would be the results?” _How did I not know about this? I mean…I remember something but-_

“I guess.” She nodded and snuggled down further into covers. “I…I don’t really know to be honest, she clammed up. Maybe ask Alex.” 

_Alex._ Marc sighed and nodded to himself, pulling himself out the bed and padding down to the kitchen, stopping as he saw him, like a mirror of him two days ago. _Oh God._ “Hey…”

“Hi.” He stared into his coffee and sniffed. “Ok?”

“Hmm. Seems there’s some stuff I didn’t know about…” He sat down next to his little brother and wrapped an arm round his waist, pulling him in and biting his lip as he so quickly hugged him back. _Oh. Ok._ “Did she ride off?”

Alex nodded and rested his head on his shoulder. “Yeah. Not answering my calls.”

*

“Hey.” I gulped as I saw him and held his gaze. _Poor little Dani. You look even smaller._ “I came.”

He nodded at me and ushered me in, shutting the door behind me and leaning on it for a second. “You didn’t have to.”

I looked at the pile of mini bar bottles in the bin and then back at him. “I think maybe I did.”

“Hmm. Well I booked my flight home for tomorrow.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before coming and sitting next to me on the end of the bed, voice hoarse and shoulders slumped, head moving to rest on my shoulder.

 _Aka ‘I give up’._ I closed my eyes and then pulled him into a hug, feeling my chest constrict as he started to sob, moving the mattress up and down ever so slightly. _Don’t do that. Please don’t do that._ I left it about 20 or 30 seconds before hauling him back onto the bed and wrapping him up properly. _Don’t give up. Irony._

*

I saw Alex glance in my direction and then back at the game, and then felt his fingers lace through mine. I squeezed back, trying to pretend it was fine, and then left it long enough for it to feel more natural than shutting him out and went for a smoke, faint noise of Camp Nou echoing out the window, wondering if he’d seen through it and thinking probably yes.

I went back in and sat back where I’d been before, grabbing on a bit tighter than he seemed to have been expecting and curling up as pathetically as I felt. “I’ll call tomorrow. Promise.”

“You sure-“

“No. Tomorrow.”

*

_“Livi, it’s me again. I don’t know where you’ve gone but I can guess why and please, please come home. Or at least call me when you get this. I love you. Bye.”_

“Hi.”

_“Livi. Thank God. Where are you?”_

“Castelldefels. I, er…” I bit my lip, half way between laughing and crying, and let out a noise that was probably a mixture of both. “I rode onto the beach.”

_“Back in police custody?”_

_And you sound exactly like me._ I let it turn into more of a laugh and shook my head to myself. “No. It’s dead down here. No one cares.”

_“So you’re going to come home soon.”_

“Yup.” _Don’t cry, don’t cry._ “Just a few more minutes and I’ll come home. Sorry. I…I’m sorry I left.”

_“I just wanted to know you were ok. Be safe on the way home. Me and Marc are making some lunch. Ok?”_

I nodded and felt my eyes well up again, voice making that way too obvious. “Yeah. Ok, baby. Thank you.”

_“I’ll see you soon. Yeah?”_

_It’s like you know._ I took a deep breath and answered, then cancelled the call. _It’s like you know._

*

It was about 930pm when something finally cracked and it all seemed to hit him. And before it would have been Alex, and slightly after that me, and now it was Bea holding onto him for dear life and handing him cigarettes, arms around him outside in the cold, both shivering and faint snippets of conversation drifting in to me and Alex. And he was hurt, he’d obviously been hurt from the second it happened. But I’d never heard a guy cry like that. Absolutely never, or I hadn’t at the time. And I realised Bea didn’t seem shocked at all, and snuggled closer to my Marquez as we both realised what that meant: their weekend, and their Monday night, had been something so intimately painful that even Alex and me, the closest people to them in the world, hadn’t seen half of it.

_Although that’s true of me and you. No one else has ever seen that._

_But they’re not me and you._

*

“I don’t care. You know that?”

“I can’t talk about it now. Please.”

He pulled me in a bit closer and nodded into my hair, both still whispering. “You’re scaring me.”

“Why?”

“Because you keep shutting me out, and I don’t know why.” _And now you’re crying, and I’m not sure why either._

*

“Marc…”

“Hmm…”

“Marc…?”

He scrunched up his face slightly and then finally managed to open his eyes. “Hmm?”

“Sorry baby I need the bathroom.” _Oops._ “Er…”

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry.” _Oops._ He shifted off her and lay flat back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the toilet flush and the sink go, heart hammering again for some reason, something changing in the way she’d said that. He watched her walk back in and the room go black again as she turned the light out, obviously feeling the difference as well and not moving back to how they were for a few minutes, before she found his hand in the dark and squeezed. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s ok. I did it the other day.”

“I didn’t notice.”

“I think we were more distracted.”

“Hmm. We need…we need to talk again, don’t we? It’s been a few days now and I can’t stay off work forever-“

“I know. I’ve not even been home properly.”

“Do they know?”

“Don’t think so. I didn’t talk to them, anyway. Not properly. Didn’t want to…make it more complicated.” _I’m not trying to hide anything-_

“It’s ok. There wasn’t anything behind that question.” _Can I move back over?_ “Are…I mean…can we…go back to-“

“Yeah.” An arm snaked out to grab her and pulled her back in, lips in her hair. _You always smell like you. So good._ “Sorry.”

“Sorry I’m still needy-“

“Pff me too. Me too.” He sighed and shifted slightly onto his side, arm still round her, face to face. “I don’t know how I would have done this without you.”

“Well…don’t think you would have had to.”

“You know what I mean.” He smiled at that and moved his hand up to cup her face, running his thumb over her cheek. “I just…needed to make sure you knew. That you’re amazing. And whatever happens, we did the best we could and what we thought was right.” _Oh no no no please-_ “Don’t cry. Sorry I didn’t mean to-“

“Good tears, they’re good tears. Promise.”

 _I know what you mean._ He nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead, relaxing again as she moulded against him, and then started to go red. _Fuck..._

“Marc…”

“Sorry I can’t help it. Move away a bit.”

She giggled slightly, the sound completely killing the tension and making him blush even more and laugh slightly along with her, suddenly seeming to remember how that felt and both giggling into the pillow before he moved back a bit and took a few deep breaths. “Sorry. Although I’m kind of surprised it’s the first time that’s happened.”

“Hmm I’ve woken up first a couple of times-“

“Sshhh! Let me dream.”

“Ok.” She nodded and patted him on the head. “Ok, baby, stay calm.”

“Pfff I’m so calm. I’m so calm.” He looked back at her and grinned, sighing as she wrapped herself around him again. _Every time you do that, I heal 0.1%. Slowly. And painfully. But just a little bit._ He gave her a squeeze and then felt his breath catch as she moved again slightly, closer, too close, physical response immediate. _Not now, please just-_

*

“We can’t keep running away from it forever. You can’t keep pretending you’re thinking about Marc and Bea-“

“Ok. Fine. FINE.” I put down the magazine and turned round. “What do you want me to say?”

“Well you didn’t even tell me what they said but I can guess-“

“Yeah so you know, so…that’s it.”

“Look, I just…we need to talk about it. We need to think about what it means-

“But you understand what it means? You really-“

“Yes I understand what it means! We just need to talk about it-“

“That’s not going to make any difference though, is it? We either have kids now, or soon, and way too early when the thought fills me with panic, or we don’t. We can’t talk that away, Alex. It’s a _fact_.”

“Yeah and it’s a fact that really hurts me, but we’ll figure it out. We can adopt. It doesn’t have t-“

“But you shouldn’t have to! You shouldn’t have to-“

“Neither should you! What the fuck, Livi? This isn’t just about me, this is about both of us and the future-“

“It’s not, not for me. It’s about you. Because you deserve more than this. You’d be the best dad in the world. And I can’t give that to you. I can’t give that to you and I can’t do anything about that. And more than that, you’re 18. You’re 18 and you’re a motorbike racer. You said, before, you’d rather have kids after you retire but then I’m too old to-“

“Yeah I did, before this happened. So we change the plan and we-“

“We do something that’s a bad idea because you won’t face the truth.”

He stared at me as I said that, like he’d known it was coming but was more painful than he could ever, ever have thought up, and then his eyes started to well up. “You’re serious.”

 _This is why I kept running from it. Because for me it’s been a ticking clock._ “Y-yeah. I’m serious. I love you and I wish it could work but-“

“There’s no but! What the fuck are you talking about? Is this not…is this different for you? Because this is it, for me. I got trapped in a lift with my soulmate and you’re acting like you’re just going to walk off-“

“Alex. I love you, but we have to face-“

“Face what? The only thing you have to face is yourself, Livi. Same as before. Ok so we have a barrier…we’re just going to give up? Really? Because that’s not-“

“I’m not you. I am not you and I think I can see this clearer-“

“You think you know better is what you mean.” He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes for a second. “You think you know better, because you’re older, and so much wiser. Older, and wiser, and a fucking coward.” He slammed out the room and down into the kitchen, breaking glass the next noise, before the engine started in the garage and the noise receded up the road.

 _No. I think I’m being brave._ I sat on the end of the bed and looked around for a few minutes, not really seeing it, knowing I’d kind of shut myself down to be able to do it at all, and then started packing.

*

“Marc…”

“Sorry I can’t help it. I’m trying I just-“

He felt the skin on the bank of his neck stand up at the way she pressed her lips to his ear. “Shh. Do you _want_ me to move?”

 _It’s not cheating. It’s nowhere near cheating, because I broke up with you because you broke my heart._ “I don’t have any-“

“I’m already pregnant.”

 _You’re already pregnant._ “N-no, I don’t want you to move.”

“Not like this?” She slipped her hand under the fabric and felt the gasp in response go straight through her. _That’s a no._

“Definitely not…” He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stifle the noise, pulling her closer and moving his hand under her t shirt and down her back, feeling the skin shiver and pushing under the fabric of her underwear until he gently squeezed her ass and felt the moan hit him in the crotch. _Definitely not._

*

“What are you doing?!”

I closed my eyes and bit my lip as he walked back in, trying and trying to keep it in. “P-packing.”

“What?!”

“I’m packing because I’m leaving.”

“What the fuck do you-“

“Don’t. I’ve made a decision, and I’m-“

“YOU’ve made a decision?! What about me?! Livi what are you doing?! Seriously, what what WHAT are you doing?!” He moved round to in front of me and waited for eye contact that I reluctantly gave him, feeling my heart break a bit more at the look on his face.

“I said, I’m p-“

“I heard you but you must be fucking crazy!”

“I already said what I thought-“

“And you’re serious? I mean…you’re seriously going to leave me?”

The hysteria was slowly starting to move into desperation as I could see it was starting to sink in, eyes pleading with me and hands trying to grab mine. “I said what I thought. I meant it.” _How am I even able to talk. Or breathe. Or stand up._ “I’m sorry, and I love you more than anything. And that’s why-“

“No.” He shook his head and wiped his eyes as he blinked some tears free. “ _No._ ”

“Yes. I think, in a few years-“

“Don’t fucking dare say things like that.”

I bit my lip and nodded, closing my eyes for a second to try and stay calm and reinvest in my opinion, feeling that and then opening them again to find him on his knees.

“Please.”

I put another t shirt in the bag.

“Livi, please.”

“Please get up.”

“Stop packing and I will.”

“No.”

Another pair of jeans.

“Livi…please Livi. _Please._ ”

“If you love me, get up.”

“If you love me, don’t leave.”

“That’s why-“

“Don’t.” His eyes flared again and he shook his head. “ _Don’t_ give me that shit.”

Another t shirt. The last one I was taking, for now. I pulled my eyes away from what was now the love of my life in a puddle on the floor, crying and pleading, and zipped up the bag. He looked down at the floor and let out a long breath of air, trying to get his voice steady enough to talk.

“Livi? Please. Don’t. Leave. Please, please, please don’t leave me.”

*

 _This is different. This is so different to how it was before._ He felt another shiver as she bit his lip and then rolled them over so she was on top, pulling off her t shirt and pulling her towards him, both sat up, tongue flicking her nipple as he sucked a line down from her neck, sparks shooting down his spine again as she ground down against his crotch. _This is so different._ He pressed their lips together again, slow and languid and really taking the time to explore, tongue running over her bottom lip before they both wrestled themselves out of their underwear and carried on, side by side on the bed, his tip grazing her stomach as she moved back in and making him moan into her mouth, skin on fire under the lightest scratch from her nails. He pulled her back on top of him and pressed their foreheads together as he pushed inside, sitting them up again and pausing for another kiss before he sucked a gentle line of bruises down her neck and they started to move, his arms around her waist and hers around his neck, breath hot on each other’s cheeks, eyes locked together for a few moments before she pushed him back down onto the mattress and ran her tongue down his neck, feeling the tremor go through him and locking their lips back together, still slow and messy and wet, his hands now on her ass and guiding the slow rhythm, no rush, no desperation, physical at least, realising he’d never had this before, realising why it felt physically different in one way. _You’re already pregnant. And those little noises you make give me goosebumps._ He pulled her flush to him again, arms wrapped around her, pausing again, feeling the expectant shiver go through her as he started to move his hips, flexibility they worked so hard on in the gym useful for more than just on track and feeling her nip his ear lobe in response. _Every last one._ They moved like that for a few seconds before his eyes found hers again, pupils dilated and saying everything, Marc watching the spark fizz in them as he moved one hand in between her legs and felt a little Earthquake go through them. _So different._ The noises that had been there before got louder, although not too loud, listening to each other breathe and gasp for a few minutes until she nipped his lip again, harder, signal received, and let the pressure build up in both of them, thrusting faster, keeping his hand doing whatever it had been doing when she’d wailed instead of moaned, reading the signals well enough to time it right and both tensing at almost the same time, suspended for a minute as they toppled over the edge, muscles clenching around him making him see stars and push his head back into the pillow, neck muscles taught, feeling her ride it out with him for a few seconds before she collapsed over him, just about propped up on her arms, hair falling round his face and leaving them in a little tunnel of vision, panting at each other, no words to say anything else.

_That’s what it feels like for him. Skin on skin, coming inside someone who’s looking at you like that._

They stared for a few more seconds before she leaned down and gently pressed their lips together, chaste, underlining everything a little bit, and then gently moved off him and lay down next to him again, both still breathing too fast, feeling everything come back again as his arm went round her and pulled her in, lips whispering in her ear.

“Goodnight.”

*

“Hi.”

He opened the door and stared. “Livi, what-“

I gave up on almost 8 hours of composure and felt myself carried into the house and onto a sofa, arms going round me and letting me sob into his shoulder. “S-sorry I...I didn’t know where else to go. I just-“

“Shhh. It’s ok. Always. _Always._ "

"I left him.”

 _WHAT._ “Alex?”

The name made me wail against his sweater and nod, something I only managed to stop doing when he carried me upstairs and put me in bed, nervously getting in with me as I wouldn’t let him go, me realising I’d not said a word about any of why or when or this whole thing. 

“Alex.”


	94. We're Different People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥ thank you!

“Please don’t leave me-”

“I won’t.” 

I nodded into his chest and pulled myself in a bit further, realising somewhere in the back of my head that, even despite the hug in his hotel room a few days ago, we’d never been curled up like this. “I’m so sorry-“

“Don’t, Livi. Please. You’re always welcome here whether for good reasons or bad reasons. Ok?”

“Ok. Dani?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ll explain tomorrow, ok?”

“If you want to, explain tomorrow. If you don’t, move in with me and we’ll cry forever. Ok?”

“I love you, you know. Not like that-“

“No, I know what you mean.” He pressed a kiss against my forehead and cupped my face with one hand, eyes on mine. “I know what you mean, and I love you too. Ok? I’m just glad you feel like you can come here. I’m glad I didn’t lose everything at once.”

I felt my eyes well up and I nodded. “Same.”

*  
“Morning.” He watched her eyes flutter open and smiled as her expression changed from confusion into happiness. “Wow we’re both still here…”

“Fuck off.” She grinned into the pillow and whacked him on the arm. “Not funny.”

“Awww I’m sorry.” He laughed as her middle finger popped up between them and then pressed a kiss on her shoulder. “Sleep ok?”

“Hmm. Really good.”

“Good.” He felt himself go warm, as though that was a big achievement, which in a way it was, and then snuggled into it as she moved over, fingers tracing little patterns on her arm. “We definitely have to change these sheets, now.”

“Hmm. I know. And I seriously need a shower. You’re all sticky.”

He blushed slightly at that and then nodded, clinging on a big tighter as the memory woke up properly. “Shower sounds good.”

“Five more minutes though, ok?”

“Hmm to be honest two more hours would be fine with me.” They ended up staring at each other before he closed his eyes and pressed their lips together, breathing her in and then settling back down. 

*

_Always so thoughtful. Always._ I squeezed his hand as I realised where we were going and smiled as he turned and nodded at me, turning off the road and winding up the drive to the restaurant. “Is it still your favourite?”

“Yes.” I grinned and nodded. “Especially if-“

“Yeah, brunch is on the menu. And it’s technically closed, so it’s all ours.”

“Alex Marquez have you been name dropping?!”

“Hmm…maybe a bit?” He grinned and nodded at my face. “Shh!”

*

“I can’t hear Livi and Alex. Think they went out?”

“Hmm. Probably. I bet because there’s no food.”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!” She smiled as she felt a little laugh go through him and then yawned slightly and started to sit up. “Ok. Shower.”

“Shower.” He nodded and just about managed the same, yawn a lot bigger, and then looked across at her. “Shower…”

“Yup…”

And then he gave up, scooped her up and ran the gauntlet through to the bathroom, hoping they’d been right about being alone, and then feeling another layer of the last week slowly start to fade as they stood under the water, gentle hands lathering over her shoulders and in her hair, still amazed he’d ever been able to talk to her, perfect even like this, then losing any other coherent thought as her eyes opened and locked on his, pulling him in and ending up pushed against the cold tiles of the wall, hand tangling in his hair.

_I’ve never even done this with a girl before._ He tried to block that out and concentrate on the here and now, successful and feeling the same sudden desperation in her as she ended up wrapped around him, mouths searching for each other and trying to get back that same feeling from the night before, managing it a bit and not having to be quiet.

*

“Hey…” He ran his fingers through my hair and smiled as my eyes opened. “We should think about sleep.”

“Hmm. I need the bathroom, too.”

“Ok…well…you go and do that and I’ll take your bag upstairs, ok?”

I nodded and started to get up before pausing and looking back at him. “Can…” _Come on, we’re older and maturer than this. We’re the old ones._ “Doesn’t have to be in your room, but please don’t make me-“

“I won’t. I know.”

I nodded at that and shuffled off the sofa, following his instructions to find the bathroom and standing there staring at myself in the mirror. All in all, it wasn’t that bad. My eyes were a mess, but my hair looked more like I’d been freshly coiffed in the 1950’s, and that was ok. I nodded and then shook my head wondering why I’d suddenly decided to care about that; anything to distract me from the constant ache of realising what I’d actually done. I used the toilet and then went down the corridor to find my bag in the bedroom and the sounds of Dani downstairs in the kitchen, getting ready to go to bed and sitting on the edge staring at the floor until he reappeared with a cup of tea and put it in my hand. _It has milk in it._ I stared down at it and then back up at him, little hopeful face that he’d got that right, my eyes welling up, stupidly I knew, but still; smiling at him and biting my lip as I nodded. “Th-thank you.”

“Half british, right?”

I nodded again and took a sip, even the amount of sugar right, and then closed my eyes for a couple of seconds and took a deep breath. “Perfect.” I felt a kiss hit the top of my head and kept my eyes closed, blowing over the top of the mug and just concentrating on that before he spoke behind me.

“You’re wearing that?”

“Hmm.” _Kind of forgot it was…you._ It was a Pedrosa shirt. “I forgot the shorts. Usually…er…usually sleep naked.”

“Yeah. You want some boxers? _Clean_ ones.”

I smiled at that and then nodded slightly, opening my eyes to find him putting them down next to me and then sitting down next to me on the other side, turning to look at me and smiling slightly. “Ok?”

“A tiny bit better.” _Because I’m sure I’m right. I’m right, right? So I have to get on with it, even if I’d rather curl up and die._

“Good.” He took my almost empty cup and put it on the bedside table before pulling off his t shirt, going through a drawer to find another one, and I took that as the opportunity to go back to the bathroom and change into his boxers, wondering if there was any other non-Alex guy in the world I’d trust to open the door, see me like this, and then just get in bed without the tiniest hint of threat in the world. _Nope. Just you._ I went back in and got back in the bed how I’d been before, this time under the sheets, and felt myself want to cry again at the way he moved over and wrapped his arms around me. _Just you._

“Dani?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re still my hero.” I gave him a squeeze and then cringed slightly. _As though you used to be someone else’s too. Great phrasing._

*

Dani: _I went home. I don’t want to give up but I don’t want to make all of this about me, or us. I hope you’re ok and I love you. And if you need or want anything, I’ll always be waiting. I’m so sorry, baby. xx_

*

Bea: _What the fuck happened?!_

Livi: _I left. Got the test results. We wanted kids, so unless we have them soon, basically we can’t. I don’t want to take that possibility away from him so I left. Sorry I didn’t want to add anything else to your troubles <3_

Bea: _I understand in a way but there are options you know?_

Livi: _I can’t do it to him. I know he’s probably devastated now but he’ll move on in time and find someone the right age, who can give him everything because he deserves it._

Bea: _For the record I think you’re wrong and he’s completely wrecked. And I can’t imagine you’re ok. Where are you? Can I do anything??_

Livi: _I’m not in Spain and no I’m not ok but I’m with someone who’s helping._

Bea: _I won’t tell them..._

Livi: _I know but I don’t want to make problems for you and make you lie. Are you and Marc ok?_

Bea: _Yeah we are, I think it’s all sunk in and we still think we’re making the right choice. Alex went home, we’re kind of weirdly living here atm_

Livi: _Same bed?_

Bea: _Sleeping together in both senses. And I know that’s not a good idea but honestly right now it’s all I want in the world. He’s not made any promises and I’m not trying to pretend we’re going to get married or anything._

I read that and bit my lip, looking across the room to where Dani was making a coffee. _Oh dear._

Livi: _Right well how is he? Or how are they?_

Bea: _Marc is ok and we’re looking after Alex when we go over to the house. Alex isn’t good. I think you can imagine._

_Yeah, I can._

*

I started at the start, voice kind of steady and detached, sat across from each other at the table in the kitchen, gradually getting more emotional as we got nearer and nearer the point where I’d left, Dani’s hands finding mine in the middle and giving them a squeeze as I explained everything, something in his eyes changing when he realised the problem and the timing as I explained everything to him about Marc and Bea, both trying not to cry.

“How do you feel about it?”

“About what?”

“About Bea and Marc getting rid of it.” _When if Alex was 21 you might have made a different decision._

“It’s ok. I understand. She’s never really been very into the idea of kids and Marc’s not really in a position to be a dad at the moment. They’re not together. And he loves you.”

“I think I ruined that.”

“Don’t. I think everything’s ruined at the moment. And I’m not going to change my mind but I _know_ Marc loves _you_. They’re not right, not like you and him are, and-“

“Don’t.”

“I’m just telling you the truth, or what I think it is, anyway. And Bea knows. I mean…they’re playing the happy couple at the moment because they don’t know how else to make themselves feel better but she knows. I think she loves him, but he doesn’t-“

“Maybe he should.”

“What?!”

“Well you said it already. ‘Marc’s not in a position to be a dad at the moment’. He wants to. He’d be amazing at it. And I can’t give him that either, can I?”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s never been a possibility. It didn’t get taken away-“

“Maybe it did, a bit. I’m bisexual, maybe Marc is. Maybe it was all a stupid adventure and he just got caught up in being in bed with his childhood hero. I don’t know. But I could marry a woman and have kids tomorrow and so could he.”

“But if you choose each other then it’s not possible.”

“Well, I already chose. But yeah.” _Do I leave that bit unsaid?_ “Why is it so diff-“

“Because I couldn’t watch someone else be a surrogate for me, and I can’t make us have them now. And I…I don’t want to pass this on. It’s just different, because he can have it all with no problems. With the same gender, same life…just…not with me.”

“And if he wants it with you?”

“It’s not possible and he’ll realise that at some point. How do you feel? About…Marc and Bea? I mean the baby-”

“It’s not got much to do with me anymore.”

“But if he forgave you, but they had the baby-“

“Are they thinking about it?!”

I watched his eyes widen and grimaced. “I don’t know, to be honest. I just know she went there to get rid of it once and they both doubted enough to go home and not do it and had the worst night of their lives.”

“Monday?”

“Monday.” I watched his lip wobble and squeezed his hands a bit tighter. _I know. I’m sorry._ He waited a few seconds before he could carry on and then cleared his throat.

“Well…it doesn’t change anything for me. I’m 29. I’ve felt ready for this stuff for a while, I just thought this was a stupid crush instead of whatever it’s turned into. It just…it would never be mine. You understand?”

“Yes.”

_Do you?_ “I don’t mean in an adopted way, because I don’t think that makes any difference. It’s who loves you and raises you that’s important. I just mean it wouldn’t be _ours_ , because part of it would always be _hers._ ”

_Like them._ “Marc and Bea. Same thing. He’ll never be hers, because some of him will always be _yours_.” _Cheesy, but true._

“You really think there’s a chance, don’t you?” He stared down into his cup for a few seconds and then back at me.

I nodded and took a deep breath. “I’ve never seen anyone like you, together.” _Except me and Alex, maybe._ “That doesn’t go away in a mistake.”

He let that sink in for a couple of minutes before nodding to himself and taking his hands back to take a sip of coffee. “Maybe not, but I don’t think the mistake goes away either. The way he looked at me…I don’t let people down very often, or I haven’t. I’ve felt what it’s like to be let down but I didn’t know how it felt like this, and I don’t know how you ever convince someone that it was a mistake.”

“I think you just have to do the opposite again and again until they trust you again. Like you when he slept with Bea after-”

“No. I didn’t. That’s why I was panicking so much anyway. Even the thought of them in that house together before I got there made me so jealous. That’s why…that’s how this all started really.”

“I really, really understand that. And I think…if you want me to be honest, that he’s being a bit harsh. Because that hurt more than you-“

“Yeah it hurt a lot more than I said.”

_I know._ “I know.”

“And she’s still there?”

“Yeah.”

“Is anything happening?”

I took a deep breath and nodded, watching his face fall again, knuckles going white around the cup. “Yeah. I think so.”

*

Marc: _Did you hear what happened with Livi?_

Dani: _Yeah I've spoken to her. I would call Alex to see how he is but I don't know if that would make you angry._

_He texted me. He actually replied._

Marc: _We're different people. How was she?_

Dani: _She's not good. I hope Alex is ok...please tell him I'm sorry. And I hope you and Bea are ok. xxx_

Marc: _He's not. And we're not, really. But don't have much choice._

Marc: _And I will tell him you're sorry, of course._

_Don't have much choice._ He frowned at that and then tried to stop himself reading too much into it. 

Dani: _Thank you. I love you. Anything or everything, just call. xxx_

And he never, ever expected a reply.

Marc: _Thank you._


	95. Half Of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - Rihanna..
> 
> Thank you, as always. ♥
> 
> Buckle up?? ;)

He looked down at the phone and felt his breath catch. _Oh my God. Please be calling for a good reason. Please, please._ “H-hello?”

_“Hi._

_Hi. You don’t sound like you want to talk to me. You don’t sound like you’ve forgiven me. You sound like it’s disgusting you to hear my voice._ “H-hey. Are you…are you ok?” _Are you calling because you have no choice?_

_“No. Trying to decide what to do.”_

_Is there something you want me to say or not say right now?_ “A-about the baby?”

_“Y-yeah.”_

“Well…what do you want to do?”

_“Nothing to do with you. I was calling to say we found your Honda hoodie in my room in a clearout. Do you want me to post it or throw it away?”_

_Oh._ The grain of hope disappeared and he found his lip wobbling again, trying to hold it in, getting hit by a sudden flash of anger at the tone and the words, how far this had gone. “Maybe you should give it to _her_.” 

The phone went dead again and he smashed his fist into the counter top, tears pricking at his eyes. _Fuck fuck fuck._

*

“Hey.”

“Sorry did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine.” I smiled at him through the half-darkness and sat up, leaning against the head board. “Can’t sleep?”

“Nope.” He smiled ruefully and shook his head, nodding at the open window and lit cigarette. “Don’t tell anybody.”

“I won’t. I think it’s my fault, anyway.” I mirrored his conspiratorial smile and sighed, saved from the self-pity by a shake of the head.

“Not this time. You’re the supplier, but this is entirely Vale’s fault.”

I managed a little laugh and shrugged as though that was to be expected. “I always knew that boy was trouble.”

“I think we alllll did.” He smiled again and nodded, taking another drag and trying to blow the evidence outside rather than in.

“Hmm. I’m…I’m going to have to leave at some point. Bad influence or not.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Honestly I’ve never felt more welcome in someone else’s house…” _Except that one in Cervera where he’s probably still crying._ “But I can’t stay here forever. I guess I need to figure out what I’m going to do. I sent in the Colombia thing so I have a while until work start to pressure, but…I’ve no idea.”

“Honestly…” He took the last drag and put out the cigarette in a house plant on the window sill, sending me a guilty look before carrying on, not seeming aware that it was his house. “I don’t want you to leave, yet. It’s been three days, not years. You’re keeping me sane, too.”

I nodded and settled back down as he did, before we ended up face to face on the pillow. “I don’t want to leave yet either, I just thought-”

“No. Stay.”

We stared at each other for a few seconds, the way he’d said that making us suddenly aware of where we were and with who, and everything else, arm shivering under where his fingers traced my silhouette, and we seemed to both just suddenly give up and lean in.

*

“I can’t reach it.” She tried again and whined as her fingers fell short of the remote, Marc the big spoon, Bea the little spoon, both desperate to change the channel. “Grab me and I’ll go for it.”

He grabbed on a bit tighter and laughed at the stupid noise as she managed to at least touch it, before bracing them better and leaning a bit further until she actually managed to grab it and settled back down. “Woooo! Ok this looks better. Film. Ok?”

“Hmm.” He nuzzled her neck and nodded into her hair, just about able to see, and gave her a squeeze, hand over her stomach and her hand covering his, lacing their fingers together. It took until about 10 minutes later before they kind of realised what they’d done and he felt her fingers squeeze a bit tighter, curling up a bit more and biting her lip as he whispered in her ear. “We need to talk about this, don’t we?”

“Yeah.” She nodded and squeezed his hand again, feeling him move their hands gently under the t shirt and flat against her stomach, both thinking about what was underneath there. “We really do.”

*

Kissing Dani was a teenage dream made reality. And an every-day-of-my-life dream until the day I’d met Alex. And it wasn’t like I imagined, because he wasn’t this cute little guy smiling at me anymore, and I wasn’t 17 anymore; he was stubble and aftershave and a tongue asking to find mine, hard muscles under my fingers as I moved my hand under his t shirt, and I was perfume and lipstick and forward, knowing what I was doing, what I wanted and what I wanted him to feel. And it was a bad idea. We seemed to have raised that issue and discarded it in the couple of seconds before we’d leaned in. And he felt unbelievably good. Alex was lithe and flexible and weirdly elegant, always meeting me half way and knowing where we were going next, even the first time, but with Dani everything was a new little pleasurable shock, from the way his fingers so gently traced down my spine where Alex’s would have dug in, to the slow and definite way he pushed me back into the pillow and pinned me down, tongue flicking over my neck and humming against my skin as I arched towards him and ran my hands down his back, feeling the muscles taught as he held himself there and then shivering at the moan as I cupped his ass and pulled him to me, bulge in his boxers grazing my stomach and making us both gasp into the kiss, teasing. He took his tongue back and nipped my lip before running his tongue over it, helping me help him out of his t shirt and humming again once I’d pushed him onto his back and straddled him, fingers tracing over his chest, little scars everywhere, hand rifling through my hair as I kissed the biggest scar across his collarbone, tracing the line of saliva with my tongue and following it with my fingers, little protestation lost in another kiss as I shook my head and smiled into it, feeling him respond like we’d both been holding off from doing as something snapped and the guilt disappeared, at least for the moment, sitting up to let him pull my t shirt off, letting my hair fall back around his face for a second before he turned us over again, fingers in the hem of his boxer shorts that I now wore ‘every night’, like we’d slept in ‘the’ bed since I’d got there, pulling them off with some help and then letting me do the same with him, finally skin on skin and melted together, tongue flicking over my nipple as he kissed a line down my chest, over my stomach, linking one hip bone to the other with kisses and then letting his mouth hover, breath hot between my legs, letting my hand in his hair guide him and flicking his tongue against the skin, then more pressure and finding my clit, circling and moving lower, tongue pushing inside and then pulling back, tracing a line back up and circling again, absolute heaven and hell in the slow, teasing pressure. _That_ I knew I’d perfectly explained in the low moan that hit the ceiling before he kissed the same line in reverse back up to let me taste myself and then pressed his lips against my ear.

“I don’t have any-“

“Don’t stop. I don’t care.”

*

“It just blows my mind.” 

They’d agreed 100% honesty, nobody crying if they didn’t have to, trying to talk it through and check the logic, lying side by side on the bed they’d been sharing, Marc propping himself up on his elbow.

“It blows my mind that in here, there’s something that could be a person. Half me and half you. We made it and it’s just here.” He placed his palm back on her stomach again and rubbed a gentle circle. “You know what I mean?”

“I know. I know what you mean.”

“And it seems so strange to go somewhere and basically ask them to rewind. And then it’s just…gone.” He sat up properly and then bent to press his lips just below her navel, feeling the muscle tense underneath. “But then if it’s not gone, that’s even more crazy. A baby. A whole other person, that we have to look after, and has to become the center of everything. For years. Well, forever. And I’m sure it’s true that as soon as you see it and you understand the reality that it’s the most amazing feeling ever, but I…I don’t _need_ to choose between the races and winning and racing and having that, not yet anyway. And you don’t _need_ to choose between your career and your lifestyle and everything you have and that little person that’s not even real yet. I just…”

“Marc.”

“Hmm?”

She laced her fingers through his and smiled at the way that made him smile. “Can I just say a few things?”

“Yeah. Sorry I’m talking too-“

“No. For once, you’re not.” She smiled at that and then sat up next to him, leaning in slightly and sighing. “I’m going to talk too much, now.”

“Well it’s not a world first.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“FINE.” He grinned sideways at her and shrugged. “Go ahead.”

“Ok. Well…I agree. If it was anyone except you, I don’t know if I would even have told him. Maybe that makes me a bad person but…I am what I am. You’re never going to get down on one knee and ask me to marry you. Although…that’s an annoyingly traditional way of putting it. Wait…” She narrowed her eyes and then nodded. “Right, yeah. I mean…I’m never going to be enough for you, I don’t think. And it doesn’t matter how many babies we have or how many years we try making it perfect, it won’t be. Because there will always be a little chink where you don’t quite fit with me and I want to make you fit perfectly. I think so, anyway. And you would or rather, you _will_ be a great dad, and maybe you’re thinking about how you’d have this chance again if you and Dani work it out, but that’s not important. That’s just a hurdle, it doesn’t change anything now. And you’re 21 years old, and you’ve just won your second title. I didn’t want it before, but now a lot of me wants you and it and standing there like a Catalan, red-lipsticked Adriana on the grid holding your umbrella, but it’s not going to happen. I love you, ok? I don’t know if I mean that like everyone else means it because I’ve never been in love before, but I know you’re suddenly the only other person in the world that I’d do anything for.” She took a breath and squeezed his hand. “The other is Livi, yeah?”

“Oh.”

“I’m an only child and my parents are fucking idiots.”

“Right…” He mirrored her sad smile at that and pulled her into a proper hug. “I love you, too. Just…not-“

“I know. And it’s ok, that’s amazing enough. Because I don’t know if you know, although everyone around you seems to keep your feet on the ground, but I’m not that interested in what you can do on a bike. It’s got nothing to do with it. You’re amazing, and talented, and so fucking annoying for us over here in the red and white corner because I think we would have had Dani – never tell him and Livi I said that - but then you get off the bike, and you go home, and you’re a great son and an amazing brother, team player, and a really great friend. And ok, a lot of people are. And I don’t want to give you an ego, but you’re just _different_. You’re one of those people who’s naturally unique. And being around you is infectious and amazing, and I hope I never have to miss you because I would, but you need someone who recognises that and protects it. You’re like a drug or something. Don’t interrupt! I’m pouring my heart out.” She whacked her hand on his face and smiled as he licked her fingers. “Eww. But stay quiet?”

“Mmk.”

“Right.” She narrowed her eyes and smiled as he actually did, hand removed again. “Like when I texted you before I knew about this, I didn’t want to meet up with you to have sex with you or to spend time with you, it’s like I needed a hit because you can pull me back up from a really shitty week. And I can’t do that for you. I’ve tried. In Aragón, I drove away because even before then, when I hugged you and tried to say the right things, it didn’t work. And if you share your life with someone every day and have children and everything else, it shouldn’t be like that.”

He looked caught between overwhelmed and worried, voice softer and slight shrug. “But I’m just normal…?”

She shook her head and leaned her forehead against his, eyes closed. “No baby, you’re not normal. You were never normal. You do normal things when you’re not on the track, but you’re nowhere near normal. And you need to stop seeing ‘normal’ as better. You’re meant to be that person in the relationship, maybe a bit spoilt, maybe a bit bratty sometimes, but the one who can’t wait to see what the other person has planned. The one who gets handcuffed to the headboard. You understand? The ‘me’.”

He paused them there for a few seconds before he nodded back and hung on a bit tighter, moving into a hug to talk over her shoulder and feeling everything start to sink in.

_I understand. Because_ “I think I had that. A bit.”

*

“You-“

I cut him off with another kiss and nodded, running my hand up his back and ruffling his hair backwards up the nape of his neck and round to cup his cheek, caught in the middle of a chaste kiss as he bottomed out in one thrust, making my breath catch and reminding me again that there was more behind the baby face and nicest man in the world, or almost; that there was a man and an athlete and someone who controlled a prototype motorbike at 320kph. I wrapped my legs around him, securing us together, foreheads pressed together, and we both took a breath before we started to move, finding a good rhythm, slow and gentle, feeling like we were letting out all of the pent up emotion of the last few days and relaxing into each other, allowing ourselves to enjoy something for the first time in a long time. I dug my nails into his back, hearing him hiss in response and nip my lip, then stubble scratching deliciously down my neck again, shiver of a reminder of who it was, if his eyes and ruffled hair and scent wasn’t enough, grunt as I drew blood from his lip and the kiss got deeper, foreheads shiny with sweat and noises we were making getting louder, pulling at each other a bit harder, rolling over so I was on top and resetting the rhythm, sudden blast of silence strange and alien until we moved again. He ran his hands over my ribs and down to rest on my hips before he pulled me down closer and closed his mouth around my nipple, arms locked behind me and keeping me there as I squirmed at the feeling, rough enough for a sliver of nerves to shoot through me at how immobilised I was, him so much stronger than me, surrounding me or as good as, thrusts still driving us together and pulling us apart, before he seemed to sense that and loosened his grip, face to face again, kiss incredibly gentle and hands back on my hips, encouraging the way we were more grinding ourselves together than anything else, head pushing back into the pillow and groaning, fingertips digging in until I felt them move, one hand going in between my legs and me leaning down again to trap it there, him getting the hint more than enough and the pace increasing again until I clawed at him to turn us over again. I trapped one of his arms under my neck and the other went back between my legs as his lips crashed against mine again, copper swirling around our tongues again, the sound he made as I cupped his ass and pulled him in with each thrust giving me goosebumps and sending me higher and higher and until I managed to whimper the word _close_ next to his ear, him nipping my earlobe in response and moving his fingers rougher against my clit until I arched my back and wailed at the ceiling, eyes tight shut and muscles tensing as I came, grip on his ass suddenly light but still holding onto him as I clenched around him and pulled him over the edge with me, aware after a couple of seconds collapsed against each other that I’d definitely, definitely called his name, breath still heaving as we stared at each other. _Dani._ We looked at each other for a second before he leaned down for another kiss, impossibly gentle again, faint stubble still making me shiver as he buried his lips in my neck and we clung onto the last seconds of the moment before he gently pulled out, collapsing next to me, arm draped around me and holding on, like he was waiting to see what I’d do. And then he smiled sadly at me over the pillow and nodded as I moved in closer, lips pressed together in a chain of quick, chaste kisses before I snuggled into him and placed my palm flat against his chest, feeling it move as his breathing gradually slowed, both drifting off after what felt like a long, unspoken little slice of suspended reality where that was meant to have happened and we were meant to be there curled up in Geneva drowning our sorrows in each other, listening to each other breathe and sharing a last kiss before I turned over and pulled his arm around me like we had been every other night when this hadn’t happened, fingers laced together and kiss planted in my hair, that one other place in the world where I felt like somehow it might be ok, the other one tossing and turning and staring at a different ceiling hundreds of miles away in a small Catalan town.

“Night, Livi.”

I squeezed his hand back and nodded. “Night.”


	96. Heart Shaped Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - Nirvana
> 
> Thank you! ♥ for commenting, reading, kudossing..everything. So...another one ♥

“Morning.” Big, brown eyes staring into mine across the pillow, not too much regret, still something burning in them and a spark of affection, a lot of fear, before his fingers traced my cheek. “Sleep ok?”

“Mmm.” I nodded and stretched slightly, yawning, before settling back where I had been and looking back at him, knowing I was making my eyes wider than I had to, knowing there was something in them that shouldn’t have been there _anymore_. “You?”

“Best night of sleep since Marc left.”

I nodded and smiled back a bit ruefully, understanding that and sharing it in reverse. “Me too.” _And we’re both still naked._ I ran my fingers through his hair and felt something hit me in the chest at the way he closed his eyes and murmured. _This is bad. Or the only good thing._ I let my hand rest on his cheek and watched as he opened his eyes again, then leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Good morning.”

*

“Tomorrow. New appointment. 2pm. Is that ok?”

“That sounds good.”

“Well then…” She smiled kind of guiltily and held up a packet of cigarettes and two beers. “Celebrate and commiserate?”

“Sounds good. I might order a pizza.”

“Sounds even better. Film?”

“Even better again.” He smiled and took the newly opened beer, taking a swig and wrapping his arms around her. “Did you talk to Livi?”

“Briefly, but she wouldn’t say where she was.”

“Hmm. I still can’t believe it. I keep expecting them to walk back in grinning and laughing.”

“I know.” She pulled away slightly and pecked him on the cheek before grabbing his hand and leading him to the patio door, both shivering slightly in the dark and sharing a cigarette. “You understand it?”

“Hmm. If they were other people and someone told me what had happened, kind of. But…not with them. I mean…well I guess you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean. Did you check on Alex again?”

“Hmm.” He nodded into her hair and wrapped an arm behind her. “Still the same. In bed, door shut, lights off. I wish I could do something.”

“I know.” She rubbed his knee and pulled him in a bit. “But I think he was pretty clear on the ‘leave me alone for a while’ part.”

*

“Hey…awake?”

“Yeah.” The word muffled out from the bed in the dark, enough in the one syllable to make her heart hurt. _Oh, baby._

“There’s food if you-“

“Thanks, but I’m ok.”

*

"More left."

He shifted them slightly and snuggled down with a contented sigh as she curled around him, the only thing, he'd realised when he'd gone for a run, alone, that was holding him together, and shut out the little voices in his head for a few more hours, tongue finding hers and feeling himself harden at the noise as she moaned into his mouth, regardless of anything else, physically able to do that to him in a heartbeat, leaving lipstick smeared over his face and turning to him properly, film almost forgotten as they kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and kissed, until finally he picked her up and held onto her as she wrapped herself around him, back to the bedroom and further away from reality, peeling back the layers.

*

_We shouldn’t do it again._ I felt my body disagree with that and my skin shiver as his tongue ran over my bottom lip, asking, tentative, finding mine as soon as I opened my mouth in response, both of us moaning into it again and arms going round each other, again feeling how different it was, not better, but somehow not worse, just different. More stubble than the night before. Hair even more gloriously ruffled. Muscles that felt so definite under my fingers as we pressed ourselves together, lost again once we reached the point where we decided _yes, again, now, until we don’t remember to either feel guilty or how it was with them_ , me fascinated by the way he started to unravel as I wrapped my hand around his cock, whimpering into my mouth and everything else paused, my tongue playing with his still, no reaction, everything concentrating on his crotch and zoned out before I pushed him back into the sheets like putty in my hands and ran my fingers over his chest, moaning as he realised what I was going to do and he was swallowed whole, cheeks hollowed, tongue swirling patterns and his breath hitching as it did, hand in my hair, still gentle, managing to lie still and just surrender to it before I grazed my teeth lightly against the sensitive skin and felt him shiver and groan, grip in my hair getting tighter before I circled my tongue around his tip and then started to kiss back up his stomach until I was face to face with him again, eyes opening to lock with mine, realising the teasing was over and hands going to my hips to guide me down onto him, arms pulling me down and making sure our mouths still met, kiss messier and less controlled as we started to move.

*

“Eggs for breakfast.” He nuzzled into my neck and let his tongue flick over the skin before his fingers laced through mine. “Ok?”

I nodded and smiled into a quick kiss as he got up and pulled on yesterday’s dirty boxers, both aware that was a good idea until we’d showered, and then followed the gloriously honeyed torso across the room until he turned back in the doorway and blushed slightly through a smile. “Orange juice?”

I nodded and bit my lip, blushing slightly in return at how far my tongue had been hanging out, then sitting up and pulling on the other pair of dirty boxers and the t shirt he’d originally gone to bed in, following him out the door and catching him by the bottom of the stairs, heading for the kitchen.

“I was going to bring it up.”

“I know. But I’m pretty awake now anyway.” I smiled and pointed at the coffee machine as he started to cook, getting a nod in return and then watching it trickle out into the cups, nodding absentmindedly as he headed off to the bathroom and taking over the stirring for a few minutes until I could tell he was stood behind me, watching, starting to look back and then feeling his arms wrap around me from behind, lips pressed against my neck as one hand joined mine holding the spoon and we watched ourselves stir it, vibrations as he spoke humming over my skin.

“This is a mess.”

“A big mess.”

“Did you feel this before-“

“Always a bit.”

I bit my lip at the reply. “Me too.”

“How about…” He pressed a little line of kisses down my neck and then turned me round to face him, hand cupping my face and eyes questioning. “We give ourselves 24 hours, and then we sit down and we talk. About Alex and you, about me and Marc. About Bea. About kids…” His voice went a tiny bit quieter and I swallowed nervously as the words hit my brain. “And about…us.”

“S-sounds good. 24 hours?”

“24 hours.”

“Where I can do this?” I leaned in and gently pressed my lips against his again, feeling him nod into it. “Is that what you-“

“Yeah. I mean…just let it out.” He smiled sadly and raised his eyebrows. “Maybe it’ll run out.”

“Maybe…”

“You’ll never not be important though, that’s not what I mean-“

“No, I know. I know what you mean.” I melted against his chest and took in a long breath of that specifically _Dani_ mixture of scent, feeling a wave of desperation hit me and how bad this was once it escaped from the locked box in my brain, however briefly, and felt his arms go around me tighter and hold me up.

“Don’t think about it.”


	97. Split Screen Sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May have to reply later, but I've read your comments in email and thank you/I'm sorry! ;) :/ ♥
> 
> I hope I can pull this off eventually ;) 
> 
> Title - John Mayer, again.

_24 hours._ We were watching TV, curled up, his fingers in my hair, relaxed although nowhere near content, film on in the background heading into an affair between the main two characters, both tensing at some of the words, before he suddenly turned it off and sighed.

“Want a coffee?”

I nodded and we struggled upright, both sitting back for a minute and sighing, knowing it was getting harder to distract ourselves from the permanent lumps in our throats, Dani suddenly sniffing and obviously feeling that hit him slightly before heading back to the kitchen and starting to make it, leaving me staring outside at the grey drizzle hitting the garden.

“Have you heard from anyone in Cervera?”

He shook his head and put the cup down in front of me. “No.”

*

_“Hey. I need to talk to you, if you can?”_

“Of course I can.” I extricated myself from Dani and walked off into the hallway, eventually upstairs and lying on the bed. “You ok?”

_“Maybe? We’re going back tomorrow at 2 and getting rid of it. Definitely.”_

I bit my lip at that and nodded, feeling it all start to bubble up again and sink in, her having my half of the dream – the pregnancy 3 and a half years later, or whenever they wanted, less age gap, when maybe they could have made it work, and me having hers – the Marquez loving her back – and both not keeping it – and moved the phone slightly away from my ear so she couldn’t hear it start to come out. “Right. The right decision?”

_“Yeah. Definitely. It just took a while to sink in, I think.”_

“How’s it been?”

_“Cosy. Loving. Intense. Unforgettable. And temporary.”_

I felt the words filter through my consciousness as Dani appeared in the doorway, eyes wide and eyebrows raised to see if I was ok, me just shaking my head and trying to make the tears silent if not invisible.”Right.” _Know the feeling._ “O-ok. So-“

_“I’m sorry this must be hard to talk about.”_

“Hmm. A bit.” I cleared my throat and felt myself start to calm down as Dani read the fact I hadn’t shooed him away correctly and pulled me in so my head was on his chest, feeling the fabric of the t shirt get slightly wet under my eye. “It’s, er…everything’s a bit much. How…” _Come on. You can’t even say-_ “How’s Alex?”

_“He’s a mess. I don’t know what you want to know-“_

“Nothing else. S-sorry.”

_“Please don’t cry. I just want to hug you.”_

“I’ll be ok if he is. And he has to be. I have someone who’s hugging me, it’s ok.”

_“I think I know where you are, you know. And I won’t say anything, I promise. If you don’t want me to. And I hope he’s making you feel better.”_

I looked up and got eye contact with him, wondering if he’d heard those words, and then smiled sadly. “Ok. And yeah, he is. We’re making each other feel better.”

_“Good. Remind him Marc loves him, yeah? Or that he will-”_

I watched the flash of something in his eyes as he heard that and broke the eye contact, grabbing onto me a bit tighter and both of us taking a deep breath. “I will. Although I think you need to do that the other way round. He doesn’t-“

_“I think he does. I tried. A bit, anyway. And it hurt, but it’s right. We talked about it yesterday when we were deciding what to do, and I think he realised…something at least. Enough? I don’t know. And he hasn’t got anywhere near to forgetting him. It’s obvious, sometimes. But then he’s nowhere near forgiving him, either.”_

“Really?”

_“Yeah. And we care about each other, and yeah we’re sleeping together and sleeping together, and it’s making everything a bit better. But it won’t last I don’t think.”_

“Ok. Well… I love you, Bea. I’m so sorry I’m not th-“

_“Don’t. I love you too, and I have the only other person I care about to hold my hand. And he’s doing an amazing job. So just…let me know what’s happening with you, when you can. Whatever you decide and where you go…don’t do a São Paulo on me again and disappear.”_

I nodded at that and swallowed before managing a couple more words. “I won’t. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

_“If you can. When are you leaving Geneva?”_

“No idea. When I feel like I can?”

*

The hours in the day were the worst. We were both pathetic. As it got dark, it seemed to get more painful but somehow easier to deal with, no feeling that we weren’t meant to be doing anything else and cooking some pasta, watching TV again, curling up again, until we were getting in bed and clinging on again, neither of us daring to question, sliding under the sheets naked and finding each other again, aware of the deadline of the next day and not wanting it to end, knowing it was going to become real, and it was going to hurt, and we were going to cry. Again.

“Night, Livi.”

“Night, Dani.”

*

_“When are you leaving Geneva?”_

He stopped dead inside the door, on his way to ask her if she wanted a drink, and felt the obviousness suddenly hit him as he accidentally heard those last few words. _Of course she’s in Geneva. Of course she is._ He paused until the call was over and then headed out.

“Hey. Talking to Livi?”

“Yeah. She’s not good. And I’m, er…surprised?”

“Surprised..?”

“You don’t seem like you hate her.”

“I don’t hate her. I hate what’s it doing to Alex but I don’t hate her. I understand what she thinks.”

“But you don’t think she’s right?”

“No. She just needs to remember it’s up to him. Or she needed to.”

“You think she just thinks she knows better?”

“Yeah. Don’t you?”

 _Yeah, but I’m scared it’s actually true and she does know better. Because I think if I’d tried to fill your head with everything you were trying to convince yourself you wanted, I would have pulled us down the rabbit hole scarily quickly. And you’re 3 years older._ “Maybe a bit.”

*

He was gone when I woke up, note waiting for me on the bed. 

_Gone for a run. Back soon…feel at home, and I’ll see you soon xxx_

And maybe that helped, a bit, although I was suddenly aware of how alone I was, because I actually had to get up and get on with it. I sat up and stretched, taking a few deep breaths and taking in the house around me like it was the first time, and then showered and had breakfast, still drinking my coffee when he appeared again, greeting me like he had done before, holding himself back from anything else and disappearing to shower, coming back down in a new, clean Alpine stars t shirt and jeans, gratefully accepting the coffee I’d made and then both looking at each other across the table, little silent conversation, before I took a deep breath and put down my cup.

“Time’s up.”

He nodded and mirrored the movement before taking his own deep breath. _And we’re just adding a tiny bit of injury time._ He suddenly sat up a bit and coughed. “You know what part of me wishes?”

“No?”

“I wish that lift had been in Geneva.”

I bit my lip and felt myself start to wobble, panicked conflict starting to rage. “And where would we be then?”

“I don’t know. Happy. Married? Kids. And none of this would ever have happened.”

I took that in and nodded, still teetering on the edge between coherence and bursting into tears, and nodded at him before staring into the cup in front of me. _Oh please don’t._ “I know.”

“Would you change it though, right now?”

 _That question. The tester question. And rub Alex out from everything._ “No.”

He smiled at me sadly and nodded, both almost breathing a sigh of relief and taking equal sips. “Me neither.”

 _I know._ “Do you feel worse because it’s me?”

“It wouldn’t have happened with anyone else. It’s not just sex.” _Right?_ “Is it?”

“No.” Deep breath, watching his eyes flood with guilty relief. “Not for me.”

“Me neither.”

We stared at each other for a few seconds, caught between a flash of something positive as we said that and then feeling it smothered again by everything else before he nodded, both of us trying to figure out where that left us, and then got back to his feet. “We should go out. Get out the house. For a bit, anyway.”

“And do what?”

“Anything. Go for lunch.”

“O-ok.”

*

“Hi.”

Roser opened the door and then smiled, pulling him into a hug. “Hello. I was wondering if you’d turn up.”

Tito relaxed into the hug and nodded, greeting Julia on his way in and accepting the offer of coffee, ending up sat at the table opposite them, trying to figure out what had happened. And stopping and feeling himself go slightly cold as their jaws dropped open.

“What?!”

 _Oh fuck. You don’t know? I mean, YOU don’t know?!_ “I thought he’d told you.”

“N-no. He didn’t tell us.” They exchanged a glance and both stared at him, expecting more. “She’s pregnant?!”

“Yeah. They’re, uh…on the way to get an abortion at the moment.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. That’s where he’s been, with her…Because they found out a few days before Dani turned up. They went, before…to get rid of it, but then they didn’t go through with it. Wanted to think about it more. Slept in the same bed…and Dani thought…well, you can guess. He left…Marc got angry and upset. And now I think him and Bea are back together…or…something like.”

“Oh.” Another glance, wondering what on Earth to make of that. “Poor Bea. Is she ok?”

“I don’t know her that well but I saw them this morning and…they’re close. Really close. Really different. I think they’ve been having a tough time but they’re both doing ok.”

 _Oh my baby boy what are you doing._ “Does Dani know he was wrong?”

“Yeah. He came back and Marc slammed the door in his face.”

 _Ouch._ “You don’t sound like you agree with that.”

“Well I wouldn’t give someone the benefit of the doubt either when they’d already ended up in bed with the same person. I mean Dani and Marc weren’t ‘together’ but near enough.”

Roser took a deep breath and then a sip of coffee, shaking her head and closing her eyes at one more thing that seemed like a mystery. “I thought they knew they could tell us everything.”

“They can. But then he actually has to deal with it once he says it out loud.”

“I really hope that’s why.”

“I think so.” The Marc VDS rider, or nowadays more accurately the Marc VDS rider currently in the room, got to his feet and nodded towards the ceiling. “Still there?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok.” He nodded and smiled sadly at them both before taking the stairs in twos and pausing at the top, wondering what to say, wondering if it had been a stupid few hour trip, before knocking on Alex’s door. “It’s me.”

_“Come in.”_

The older of the two felt himself flood with relief, definitely not having expected it to be that easy, and smiled against the door before taking a breath and pulling it open. “Hey, teammate.” _Could be worse. Curtains open. Dressed. Sitting up._

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

The older of the two budged him over on the bed slightly, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and giving him a squeeze, before relaxing back into the headboard and smiling at him. “Big brother duty. The other one’s a bit busy.”

Alex smiled at that slightly, nodding, obviously aware what day and time it was, and then looked back at him, eyes starting to well up again. “Th-thanks.”

*

Marc: _Livi’s in Geneva with you. Your house?_

Dani: _Yes, she is. Don’t tell Alex, or if you do…don’t let him chase her._

Marc: _I might tell him, but I don’t think he will._

Dani: _Why would you tell him? You know she’ll just run off if she knows he knows._

Marc: _Well then don’t tell her, simple. And I’m going to tell him because he’d rather she was there than somewhere else._

Dani: _Why?_

Marc: _Do you know?_

Dani: _Depends what you mean. Do you?_

Marc: _His words were ‘I don’t know what she’ll do if she’s as upset as me, I wish I just knew she was ok’._

Dani: _Then yeah, I know. And we’re doing ok._

The younger rider read that back a few times before feeling a little slice of guilt hit him in the chest. _I guess you meant what you said to me, then. When I slammed the door in your face._

Marc: _Good._

*

“We did the right thing.”

“I know.”

“Please don’t be distant.”

“I’m not?”

“Marc…on the way there your hand was here.” She gently moved his hand back to her leg and laced their fingers together as he relaxed and squeezed. “Sorry I just need you to-“

“I know. Sorry.” He turned the radio up a bit louder, hearing the song that was starting and knowing that would make her smile, sharing a smile with her, and then watched as she relaxed a bit more into the seat and lit a cigarette. _Sorry._ “It’s weird.”

“I know.”

He nodded at her and they drove in silence for the last few miles, pulling up outside his parent’s house and taking a deep breath on the doorstep, hand in hand, about to go in before the door was pulled open and the look on her face said more than enough to answer the question.

_Yes, he arrived. No, he didn’t know you didn’t know._

And then she looked back at Bea, held her hand out, and wrapped her in a hug, leaving Marc wondering why he’d seen _that_ mixture in her eyes.

“Go and see your brother and Tito. I’ll make us a drink.”


	98. Only Mama Knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - Paul McCartney. 
> 
> ♥
> 
> Warning: depression mentioned. Nothing too triggering or deep (and I am qualified to judge, or was), more another layer of character. I'm trying to make them all grey areas, and Alex bright, perfect virginal white. ;) ♥

“I need to tell you something, but you have to promise you’re not going to leave.”

I stopped and pulled him to a stop, holding hands and wandering along the shore of the lake now the sun had come back out. “Don’t like the sound of that. But, ok…I think…”

“I know. And you won’t.” He pulled me in slightly closer so we were eye to eye and put some hair behind my ear, eyes round and making me catch my breath. “Marc knows where you are. I didn’t tell him, I promise, but I didn’t lie when he asked.”

 _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck._ The feeling must have been evident on my face because he put his hands on my hips. Firmly, like making sure I wasn’t going to sprint off. “Oh.”

“But you don’t have to leave. I don’t want you to leave. Marc said…” _How to say it._ “Marc said Alex just wanted to know you were safe.”

“Right.”

“And you are. Ok?”

“I know. But I don’t want-“

“If he comes here, I think Marc will tell me first. And he doesn’t think he will.”

“But what if he does and I have to look at that again because I _can’t_ I still see his face every time I close my eyes and I know I’ve done the right thing but I-“

He cut me off with a kiss and wrapped me half in his coat, sunny but chilly, and then held on until I was finally quiet. “Livi…what you told me the other night? Alex told Marc. I think he kind of had to explain-“

“Great. That was private.”

“I know.” _And I know how much it took to tell me._ “I just don’t want to wake up and find you gone. Please.”

“Because-“

“Lots of reasons. Mainly, because me, and Marc, and Bea, and Alex, all want the same thing. Which is for you to be happy, eventually, and healthy. All the time. Ok? Plus selfish reasons.”

“Ok…”

“Ok.” He stared at me for a few seconds before I felt his hand in the small back my back, pulling me in to be able to press his lips against my ear. “Do you trust me enough to tell me if you feel-?”

“Yes.”

“You promise?”

“Yes. And I’m ok. Well, I feel like I want to go to sleep for years and not wake up to face it. But everyone would. Right?”

I heard him consider that and obviously compare it to whatever he’d been feeling and then nod, giving me a squeeze. “I think so. I just wanted to check.”

“I don’t need care, you know? I don’t need looking after and treating like this crazy flight risk-“

“No, I know. Don’t be like-“

“Be like what?” I pulled out the hug slightly and watched him grimace. “You know I’m the one that hurt him, yeah? I’m supposed to feel like this. And still you’re trying to wrap me in cotton wool because I was depressed years ago-“

“That’s not what this is.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s people who care about you just making sure you’re ok. In that respect anyway.”

“Well it feels like I’m the runt of the litter or something. Weak.”

“Livi..” He sighed and shook his head. “No. And weirdly, I know exactly what you mean. Poor Dani, always injured, always the one who gets the weird looks full of pity or whatever. I know it makes it worse. That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

I took a few breaths and then closed my eyes for a second. “Ok. Sorry. I was used to that.”

“Well I’m not whoever made you feel like that, which I’m guessing is someone who’s out of your life now anyway. I’m just impressed that you’re walking and talking, and even, sometimes, hopefully soon more often, laughing. It’s not been the best few months, has it?”

“No.”

“And you gave up the good bit because you think it will be better for him.”

“Yeah…”

“So not so weak and pathetic.”

I took a few deep breaths and shrugged, getting poked slightly and forced into a nod, and then wrapped my arms around him again and pulled him into a kiss. _Maybe not._ “Racing with two broken ankles is still more impressive.”

“No way-“

“SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I squeezed him hard and then smiled as he giggled, breaking the morose mood slightly, the sound of Dani giggling enough to warm anyone in any situation. “Not to me.”

*

“Alex and Tito are playing Fifa. He’s not crying.”

Bea was gone, home again after one more night in what had almost become like ‘their’ house, and Marc was at home again, trying to avoid the questions, again.

“Good.”

 _Oh, I know that tone._ He grimaced and opened the fridge to grab the milk, taking a swig and putting it back, ignoring the look on her face as he did. _Maybe if I just leave the room-_

“Now sit down, and explain to me why we just found all this out from Tito, and why Dani is in Geneva, and why you have a girlfriend who adores you when you’re in love with a man.”

*

“Do you think she’s right?”

Tito almost fell off the bed, first time he’d spoken in hours, and turned to look at him. “Livi?”

“Yeah.” Eyes still on the screen, obviously hard to say the words but voice flat. “Do you think she’s right?”

“No.”

“Me neither.”

“I know. Do you think she’ll change her mind?”

“Not soon. I just hope she doesn’t disappear because then she’ll never see me prove her wrong.”

“That’s the plan, then?”

“Yeah.”

“What if-“

“No what ifs. I’m right.”

“And if it takes years?”

“Then it takes years. It will be worth it. I just hope Dani’s looking after her in Geneva.”

*

“I’m not in love with him.”

“Well then you put on an even better show when you came back from Geneva than you are doing now.”

His eyes widened, never ever having been talked to like that before. Not by his mother. “What?!”

“You heard what I said, Marc. And I heard everything you said. Would you not think the worst if it had been the other way around?”

“No!”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“No?!!”

“Why didn’t you tell him? When Bea told you about the baby, why didn’t you tell him?”

“Because it was private.”

“From Dani?”

“From everybody.”

“Was it? Or was it actually easier to hold onto her and panic, again, about your sexuality?”

“No!”

“Really?”

“NO.” He screeched the chair legs across the kitchen floor and stared down, nostrils flared. “It was _private_. Just like this is.”

“Sit down.”

“No!”

“Marc, I’m trying to help you. Please, sit down.”

He did.

“You slept with her when you and Dani were a new thing.”

“Yes. But before him. Why do we have to go through this again-“

“Because you can’t keep stringing her along when you obviously want him. So, his reaction hurt you. Ok. I understand that, anyone would. Now why isn’t this sorted?”

“Sorted?”

“Why aren’t you calling and calling and calling him trying to apologise?”

“Because he hurt me!”

“And you hurt him.”

“Look, you don’t understand what it feels like-“

“Every couple understands what it feels like, because nobody’s perfect. What’s going on with you? Please talk to me. Because I thought it was ok. We were laughing about it and you seemed like you were readjusting to everything being a bit different. I’ve never seen you that happy bef-“

“Oh yeah and how would it work?! How would that work?? Me, and Dani. Repsol Honda. Teammates. Gay teammates. In secret. For years, and years, and years. No kids, no marriage. Can’t even move in together. It’s not going to happen.” He screeched the chair out behind him again and stood up. “So stop trying to convince me that I made a mistake.”

*

“I’m going to Geneva. Do you want me to pass on a message?”

His little brother put down the controller and stared. “You what?!”

“I’m going to Geneva to see Dani, but do you want me to pass on a message to Livi?”


	99. Goodbye, Geneva

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fittingly, the title and Marc thought is from Amenjena by Nicole Scherzinger. (don't judge before you listen, it's a masterpiece)
> 
> Congratulations to Lewis, and Nico, because maybe he didn't win, but wow was that a man-defining moment. ♥
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts. I know F1 has stolen the weekend a lot (it did for me too, only this was my only distraction from the stress.)
> 
> And thank you so much for everything...I mean it every time I say it; you make the difference. ♥

_This was stupid. He probably won’t even let me in._ He passed forward the money to the taxi driver and got out into the cold of the Swiss darkness, remembering the last time he’d done this and feeling a lump in his throat, before pulled his coat collar further around his neck, wearing, for the first time since he’d got it, a coat he’d been given at a photoshoot, needing the feeling of being somehow more mature or more sophisticated; more able to stand there face to face with Dani, Dani who had china cups and sheets that felt like they were from an expensive hotel, dark stained oak and red wine. He paused on the street outside again, invisible behind the gate, and then lit a cigarette stolen from Bea, watching the smoke weave in and out of the pool of light streaming down next to him from the streetlight. _Tell him I’m sorry I cheated, because that was almost what it was, and I know how much it hurt him, I could tell. Tell him I’m sorry I didn’t understand how that changed what he saw when he opened the door. Tell him I’m sorry he was almost right and I spent the last week and a half proving him right, running away from him and hiding who I am and giving up on that dream of a normal family twice in a week._ He stamped the butt out on the pavement and took a final deep breath, before pushing through the gate and walking up the path, warmth from inside the house reflecting through the windows, curtains left open, private from the street but not yet closed, not expecting visitors. Dani, in the kitchen, cooking. Livi, on the sofa, typing on her laptop. Talking to each other. Both looking like slight shadows of the people they’d been last time he’d seen them. Dani, stirring the pan. Livi, getting up and stretching, putting her laptop down and going into the kitchen, pouring them two glasses of wine and taking a big gulp from one, staring out the opposite window. Dani, turning round with a spoon of whatever he was cooking and offered it to her to taste, hand cupped underneath it. Livi, taking a sip from it, nodding and seeming to think it was good.

And then Livi, leaning in as Dani did, pressing their lips together, seeming to share the taste.

And he stopped where he was, mouth hanging open, heart feeling like it was exploding, staggering back from the door in shock.

Already having knocked, and watching Dani come towards him, not able to see him in the dark, pulling the door open and eyes finding Marc’s, shocked in a different way, then suddenly worried, noticing how bright his teammate’s eyes were, shining from more than just the light, unsure of what to say, blood draining, before Marc found his voice and took three steps forward , hands going up to poke and almost shove Dani in the chest, back into the house, voice loud and shaky.

“ _What_ are you _doing_?!”

*

 _He saw us through the window._ I felt my chest start to constrict and bit my lip as I got the first shot of eye contact from Marc, eyes wide and accusing and completely devastated, so much reminder of Alex’s face as I’d walked away that I did the same thing as then and just closed my eyes. _He came all the way here, and he obviously never even-_

“Don’t push me.”

“EXPLAIN.”

 _Like I never gave you chance to._ “I can’t say much.” Dani bit his lip, which was more than wobbling, and just about kept his eyes on Marc’s as they filled up to match. “We’re hurting.”

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

“I’m not going to lie to you.”

“You’re serious.” The younger rider suddenly kicked the door shut behind himself and made us both jump, voice going the opposite way and falling to a whisper. “You’re _serious?!_ ” 

“Yeah. I’m serious. Because we had everything, and then we had nothing. You hurt me, so much, when you slept with her before. And I made a mistake because I wasn’t over that, and I apologised, and I came back, and the door got slammed in my face.”

Marc said nothing so he carried on.

“So we were over. Before this. Looonng before this. Which you must have agreed with because you made it happen and I know how you’ve spent this week-“

“With Bea.”

 _So you admit it._ “Yes.”

“Bea, who isn’t Livi. Who isn’t the person my brother is crying his eyes out over.”

“She left him for a reason.”

“And that reason is you, is it?”

“NO. Not me. She left him for a reason that’s permanent and never going to go away, and that isn’t her fault. It’s to give him what he-”

“Dani don’t. I can speak for myself.”

“Sorry.”

Marc looked between us again, tears now having made definite tracks, and then started to back towards the door. “So this is how it is now?”

And we should have just answered without worrying about what we were going to say, because we looked at each other to check, and then we both watched it sink in all over again on Marc’s face, and upset him all over again, and send him faster out the house.

“Yeah. Unless-“

“No unless. You make me sick.:”

And that obviously hurt Dani a lot, because for once in his life he actually answered back, voice louder as he called after him. “Yeah, run away again!”

“I’m not fucking running away.” He turned round again, now back outside the door but only just, and shook his head, both of them locked in some internal battle as they stared. “Don’t you fucking dare. Maybe I did. But why the fuck do you think I came back, Dani? Hmm?”

And then he was gone, and we were replaying the first night I’d arrived in Geneva but with switched roles, almost, just about managing to get him to the sofa before he collapsed into tears.

 _This is how it is now._ We held onto each other for a long time until he was finally breathing almost normally, and sitting up, and able to talk back, and then I went to the bathroom, pulled out my phone, and took a deep breath.

*

Marc made it to the street before he let himself collapse, everything tumbling down, numb in the taxi, in the hotel, staring out at the city, then staring at the gate, then at the door to the cockpit, then at the Spanish border control, the car park pay machine, the road in front of him, and his own front door.

_Goodbye, Geneva. Not going back there again._

*

Livi: _I am not coming back. I love you, and I always will. You deserve everything you want, and I know I’m doing the right thing in the long run. It’s almost killed me, and I hope you are still alive too. I hope you agree although I know you don’t. I hope you understand that I’d never hurt you for any reason on purpose. I hope you know that I meant every word I ever said to you._

Alex: _Come home._

Livi: _I don’t have one yet. I’m in Geneva, with Dani. Marc just arrived, and he saw us kiss. Because we couldn’t deal with it on our own, and we still can’t. I don’t know what it means, but I want to tell you, now, from me, so that you get the truthful version: I’m not coming back, I’ve not chosen him over you, and I love you so much that I’ll never be able to explain. I don’t know what I’m doing next, but I guess I will get surgery, and watch you win in Moto2, and cry every time you do, and know that you were everything for me, and that hopefully you’ll find someone who’s everything for you._

Alex: _I’m going to prove you wrong._

I stared down and bit my lip.

Alex: _And you and Dani?_

Livi: _You won’t, and yes. I wanted to tell you before Marc does._

There was a long pause of about 5 minutes before he answered, my heart hammering loud enough for the sound to ricochet back off the tiles.

Alex: _I will. Is he helping you?_

Livi: _Yes._

Alex: _Then tell him thank you._

I stared down at my phone, sure I must be hallucinating, before I crumpled off the side of the bath and onto the floor. 

_Tell him thank you._

*

“I’m going for a run.”

He watched two sets of wide eyes snap up to meet his. “Alex honey it’s almost midnight-“

“Yeah. I’m going for a run. Then I’m going to sleep. And tomorrow, motocross with Tito.”

“O-ok…”

“Don’t wait up. I have my key.”

*

“What happened?”

“Marc found out there’s something between Livi and Dani.”

 _Oh my God._ She felt the colour drain from her face from every nerve ending. “And he told-“

“No, Livi told him. She texted him.”

“So he’s blocking it out-“

“No. He cried worse than before for 5 minutes, smashed the coffee mug, and then he calmed himself down, nodded, and told her to tell Dani thank you for helping her and that he was going to prove her wrong.”

"Oh." She took a few deep breaths and turned to look at Julia. _Then maybe he's right._

*

3kms was enough to start to feel almost alive again, music blasting loudly enough in his headphones to echo against the stone walls of the town center, no one around to bother him, running round the University building and then down past the Marc expo to the square at the end, then down the steps towards Carrer de la Bruxeria, then back up them, making his legs work, back down again and feeling it start to sink in as it got more effort and the rhythm was interrupted, then down under the houses and back up the other end before he went back down past the expo, turning the opposite way at the end of the street and taking the opposite route back to where he’d started before heading for home, running past the house as he realised he didn’t want to stop, tears on his cheeks, holding it together concentrating on the steady rhthym of his feet hitting the floor, ending up in front of _his_ and turning round again, distance far too far, before he checked his watch and finally ended up in a quiet, sobbing heap in the middle of the living room of his parents’ house, not having been sure it could have got worse but now proven wrong, making it into bed by 3am and drifting off soon after, exhausted, only one thing left in his mind by the time he did.

_I meant it._

And he checked the next morning, not knowing whether he’d dreamt sending it or not, and then took a deep breath, nodding to himself in the bathroom mirror and ready to get back on a bike, get back outside, and get on with it.

Alex: _She told me. Don’t hurt her. I’m not going to give up on her, but thank you for being there for her._

Dani: _I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you._

Alex: _It hurts, believe me. I want to hate you. But I mean it._

Dani: _You’re a better man than me._

*

@alexmarquez23: Good training today in Rufea with @TitoRabat! #Teammates

*

Alex: _Maybe I will be. Keep checking your mirrors._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Part 1.
> 
> Part 2 will not be as long. ;)


	100. Part 2: New Year. New You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In order to not curse Alex's Cheste race and title I stuck to reality in results but now we're free and therefore forging ahead :D (sorry I ignored most of testing and Superprestigio and Dubai/Japan etc)
> 
> The texts at the end are meant to be like those you send to your whole phonebook or almost, and the first one not in italics is the original message, then I hope it makes sense...
> 
> Thank you! ♥

December 26th, Geneva

“You’re sure-“

“Do not ask me again, Pedrosa.” I smiled at him and wagged my finger, grinning wider as he batted it out the air between us. “I’m more surprised _you_ want to do this.”

“Well…you know…it’s not _too_ boring spending time with my favourite superfan…”

“Tropical meet and greet!” I grinned as I screeched it and threw my arms round his neck, soon yanked off the floor and giggle-carried into the kitchen. 

“Be quiet, and taste this.”

“Is it chocolate?”

“Salted caramel.”

“Oooh. And if I’m good, will you salt my-“

“Yes, I will salt your caramel. Happy birthday, baby.”

“Thank you.” I tasted it and squeezed his hand before relaxing into a hug and pressing a kiss into the crook of his neck. “Cake was a good idea. Cake was actually an awesome idea.”

“I’m still angry you won’t let me buy you anything.”

“Well we all have our cross to bear…”

“Hmm is that what it is?”

“That’s what it is.” I nodded and grumbled my way out the kitchen as he shooed me, finishing touches underway, watching him taking more care over it than a housewife in a 1950’s cookery show. _Dani. My Dani, making my cake._ “Dani?”

“Hmm?”

“My 26th year was kind of crazy. But I’m really glad you’re here to start the 27th.”

He turned round at that and smiled, eye contact saying a lot more, and then got interrupted by the oven timer. “Ok…now leave me alone.”

“Radio silence, I know. I’ll be back in 45 minutes!” I tapped my left wrist where there actually wasn’t a watch and put in my headphones, going for a quick run so I didn’t do more damage than was necessary to my heartbreak-increased form.

*

New Year’s Eve, Alex and ~~Livi’s~~ Marc’s House

“This was a really good idea. To 2015!”” Marc grinned and raised his glass into the middle of their group, everyone else joining the cheers, just about heard above the music, and then took a long drink from the glass, Tito bumping shoulders with him on purpose and sending a pool of beer onto the floor, Marc hitting Alex and causing the same, before the MotoGP rider looked back at his brother, quick moment of telepathy, and upended his glass over Tito’s head, leaving him yelling and shivering, and them giggling to each other, propping themselves up, and then running out of the pool of light and into separate corners of the darkness of the garden. Tito chased Alex, eventually, as was unfair but less likely to cause reprisals, and then a way too girly scream echoed out from the dark and left everyone else laughing, then calming, then Marc almost crossing his legs trying to stop laughing at the sight of his brother trudging back up the path, sodden, pouting, and definitely the loser of the battle.

“FUCK OFF. IT’S COLD AND YOUR FAULT.”

“Pfffff.” Marc whacked him on the ass as he walked back towards the house and grinned at the middle finger that was sent back at him. “Don’t you dare take revenge!”

*

New Year’s Eve, London

“This was a really good idea. And he is soooo cute.” 

I traced her eye line and kind of half-agreed, before holding up my phone, the lockscreen on which was a picture of Dani doing a duckface, and then shook my head. “Nah.”

“Pfff. He’s cute, in that way. But that guy…” She licked her lips and then wiggled her eyebrows at me. “That’s a different kind of cute.”

I took another look, watched him talk, and nod, and steal a glance our way, and then watched him laugh with the guy to his right, and realised what it was.

_Make the lighting a bit darker, and that’s a carbon copy of Marc._

“Hmm. Not remind you of anyone?”

“No?” She shrugged and started pulling me over, him finishing his drink and obviously knowing we were coming, turning to Bea and smiling as she made the last few steps, how forward she was always a cause of amazement to me. “Hi. Bea.”

“Mark.”

I took a deep breath and introduced myself as she did, then leaned in to let her whisper in my ear.

“ _Well at least this time I can’t scream the wrong name._ ”

*

Mid-January, Almería

“You know you can just go over and introduce yourself, yeah?”

Marc stuttered and looked back at his friend, eyes wide as though the thought was ridiculous. “Just walk over?!”

“Yes.” The older of the Marc VDS teammates nodded like he was incredibly slow and then gently pushed him in the right direction to get him started, laughing under his breath as Marc kind of stumbled his way over, not drunk, just nervous, and ended up just about managing to engage them in conversation before it became ridiculous, hand going behind his back like Vale waving, only delivering a much less pleasant gesture, which Tito took heed of and turned back into the conversation that Alex was having with some people they’d ended up talking to, nodding along for a few minutes until he dared to turn back around and check on the other Marquez.

_Gone. Brave._

And he didn’t reappear until 4 in the morning, stumbling in the door and all but diving head first into the sofa, which he thought was the sofa he was sleeping on, and finding himself violently ejected from the cushions with a loud yell as Alex took the impact and shoved him off.

“What the fuck?!”

“Owwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

“Wrong sofa, dick.” The younger brother whacked him on the head with a cushion and collapsed back into his sheets, Marc still writhing around on the floor incoherently, giggling and swearing, before he managed to kneel and pop his face up next to Alex’s. 

“OW!”

“Don’t try and complain, you definitely started it.”

“Jeje.” Hiccup. “Sorrry.”

“Good night?”

“Yup.” Another hiccup. “I landed on my ass.”

“Yeah you usually do.”

“Yeah but it’s really sore already after tonight.” Marc said those words close to him in the dark and then pulled himself onto the other sofa, giggling at the _urgggggghhhh noooooooooooooooooo!_ and tuneless singing, trying to drown him out, Alex’s finger in his ears, he imagined. _Jeje._ “Night.”

“Goodnight.”

*

Livi: Happy New Year !

Alex: _Happy New Year xx miss you_

Dani: _Happy New Year. I miss you :( xxx call me later?_

Marc: _Happy New Year_

Bea: _I’m stood next to you, dick._

*

Dani: Happy New Year!

Livi: _Happy New Year! Miss you too, kind of regret this now. I’ll call you in ten minutes Xxx_

Alex: _Happy new year Dani! Look after her !_

Marc: _It’s new at least_

Bea: _Happy new year!_

*

Marc: Happy New Year!

Alex: _I’m stood next to you, idiot._

Dani: _Happy New Year. Xx_

Marc: _Didn’t mean to include you_

Livi: _Happy new year, babychamp. Congrats on your third title ;)_

Bea: _Happy New Year, Mr President. ;) xxx_

*

Bea: Happy New Year!

Marc: _Happy New Year, Marilyn. Should’ve come to the party xx I can keep the bed warm if you want? ;)_

Livi: _“I’m stood right next to you, dick”_

Alex: _Happy new year, terrifying lady ;)_

Dani: _Happy New Year! Do not let her walk home alone this time :P_

Bea: _:P pfff I bought the taxi, I’m going home with Marc :D_

Bea: _Ouch sorry. MarK. MARK. Phone fucking autocorrected._

Dani: _Good!_

*

Alex: Happy New Yearrrrrr! Braappp…

Marc: _”I’m stood right next to you, idiot”_

Dani: _Same to you :)_

Bea: _BRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP maybe I’m drunk but NOT TERRIFYING, FUCK YOU MARC PUTTING IDEAS IN HIS HEAD and same to you xxx_

Livi: _Happy New Year. <3_


	101. Miles Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gone a bit quiet out there...do you all hate me for the plot?? :/ ;)
> 
> We're not at the end. ♥
> 
> Thank you!

Maldives, end of January

 _Paradise. Almost._ I smiled as my brain started to wake up and I realised what it was, like the good version of a Labrador licking your face. “Ewwww.”

“Oh she’s awake.” He kissed another line down my neck and then nuzzled his head into me and wrapped me half in one arm. “Morning…”

“Morning.” I made him complain as I started to move and then listened as it got replaced by a contented sigh as he realised I was actually getting closer, eyes flickering open and finding mine. “Wow you’re not even complaining…”

“Don’t.” I pressed my finger on his lips and smiled as he puckered up to kiss it. “I think I’m getting better at that, anyway…?”

“Hmm, maybe.” Eye closed again. “Although we don’t test that on holiday. Ok?”

“Ok.” _God, you’re so cute. So so cute._ I leaned in and pressed a kiss to the end of his nose and felt the same _argghhh he’s so cute_ as it crinkled and he smiled again. “You’re criminally adorable, Pedrosa. It’s offensive.”

“Stop staring.” Another smirk, eyes still closed. “Or at least do something about it…”

“Challenge accepted.” I leaned in and pressed our lips together and then felt my skin shiver as his hand traced around into the small of my back and then lower. _I was almost getting worried._ “…Dani…?”

“Hmm…”

“Why…” _Why am I even saying it instead of just doing it._ “Why haven’t you touched me?”

“What?” His eyes snapped open into a concerned frown; wide and searching mine. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…since I got back from London…you’ve not really…seemed interested.”

“That’s not true-“

“Twice. We’ve had sex twice.”

“…really?!”

I nodded and snuggled a bit further in, his hand still holding me there. “Yeah. Maybe…I don’t know. Is that normal for you? Because I…” _want to fuck you more often. Smooth._ “I’m worried it’s fading. How you feel-”

“No.” He smiled as though I was crazy but he was ok with it and ran his fingers through my hair. “Not at all. I think I’ve just been training a lot, and tired.”

“Don’t fob me off-“

“Livi, I’m not. I will never. Believe me…” His raised his eyebrows and played a little pattern over my back with his fingers. “Believe me. Just tired. And older than…” _Shit. Er…_ “But now, I can do this.” His lips met mine again, soft and contrasting the scratch of stubble, and his tongue teased mine enough to make the point before he pulled away slightly and pressed a kiss onto my forehead, words coming out quickly and sending the room into silence, breath held. “I love you.”

We both stopped, suddenly aware we’d never said that before, and stared at each other for a few seconds, hearts suddenly hammering, mine in fear he didn’t really mean it, his worrying I’d never say it back. 

“Dani, I-“

“Sorry. Too soon. Don’t-“

“No. Not too soon.” I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to control the sudden swirl of emotions and failing, smashing my lips against him and pulling him in until we couldn’t breathe for a different reason, resting my forehead against his and trying to force the guilt away. “I love you, too.”

 _And maybe it was a bit different the last time we both said those words, and maybe different in this case is ok. Because that’s something we’re never going to get back, and this is something we can hold onto. But I think we mean it._

I opened my eyes to find his already fixed and waiting, kiss changing, and nodded to myself internally.

_We mean it._

I pressed my head back into the pillow and groaned.

_And I think that’s enough._

*

Jerez

 _Try it. It can’t make it worse, right?_ “She’s looking at you.”

“Me?!” Alex turned to his brother and shook his head. “No, she’s looking at you.”

“I promise you she’s looking at you.” Marc tried to make eye contact across the room and smile at her; nothing. “See?” _Aww he’s blushing._

“Hmm…” Alex stared into his glass and shrugged. “Well…”

 _Well..?_ “Go over and introduce yourself. If you want to walk away after that, you can. Right?”

“I like how you had one night stand – with a guy who was already fucking you with his eyes before you walked over – and suddenly you’re the expert.”

“Pff. Not expert. But…don’t think you need very good skills to notice _that_ either. Go on. Please?” _And I’m not blushing about that. Progress._

The younger of the two sighed slightly and then allowed himself a slight smile. “Will it shut you up?”

“Yes.”

He put on his best teenager and pulled himself to his feet. _Sigh._ “Ok…”

*

“Medusa!”

_“Piss off.”_

“Ok, you called me. You have to be less rude.”

_“Whatever, Marquez. Can’t even spank you for it this time, either.”_

Marc whistled into the phone and grinned to himself. “Oh, well…can’t think of a comeback.”

_“Typical.”_

“Sorry to disappoint. First time for everything.”

_“Pfff what if I lied?”_

“You didn’t.” _And this train of conversation has to stop right now._ “What’s up?”

 _“Nothing much. I’m doing a pub quiz with some British people – don’t ask, it’s kinda weird and they don’t speak Spanish. And aren’t big MotoGP fans. I don’t know why they’re here, really.”_ They shared a laugh before she carried on. _“So I think I know the answer but then I thought they might be quite impressed if I called the current world champion to check.”_

“Oh, I see…”

_“Aww baby don’t be like that. You know I love you for your face, anyway. And your magnificent penis.”_

_Argh._ “Beatriz! Control yourself.”

_“Heard that before…”_

“Stop it! I’m getting weird looks from giggling.”

_“Sorry it’s too much fun because they haven’t got a fucking clue what I’m saying to you.”_

“Jaja. And they believe it’s me?”

_“Not sure, actually. They know what you look like but-“_

“Facetime me! Facetime me!”

_“Alright, Jesus. Calm down!”_

“Jeje sorry. Alex ditched me for a lady friend so I’m kind of mooching round the hotel with nothing to do.”

_Oh did he? Good on him. “No one more fun around?”_

“Nah. It’s filming so there’s no one friendly.”

_“Awwww. Poor baby.”_

“I know.” He mock sobbed and then rolled his eyes as the phone went dead, then lit up again and finally he could actually see her. _Wow. Every time._ “Wow. New hair?”

_“Thanks. Yeah. Like it?”_

“Yes.”

_“Well that’s fairly positive.”_

“YES.” He stuck out his tongue and then smiled as she rolled her eyes, before moving the phone to involve whoever else was there and Marc finding himself smiling at a group of Brits, yes. _Guys. All guys. Don’t be jealous, don’t be jealous, don’t be-_ “Hi.”

_“Hello!”_

_This is awkward. Please come back._ He smiled to himself again as she did, taking control of the conversation again, switching language.

 _“So the question we have is a pretty hard one to answer. I think so, anyway.”_ She winked at him and smiled. _“Ready?”_

“Ready.”

_“Who won the 2011 Moto2 World Championship?”_

“Hmmm…” _I don’t know if you wanted an excuse to call me or you’re just showing off, but this is more fun than being alone. And thanks for rubbing that in._ He feigned thinking and shrugged. “Not sure…can you repeat it?”

_Oh of course. “Sure, honey. Who won the 2011 Moto2 World Championship? All I remember was there was this one guy who just did amazing stuff all year, really consistent, and this other idiot with no talent almost beat him. Luckiest guy in the world. ”_

“Bitch.” He grinned and shook his head, switching back into Spanish for a moment and narrowing his eyes. “What if I’m emotionally damaged?”

_“You’re not. You’re even better for it.”_

_Here we are again, detour. English._ “Thanks. And I think the consistent one was Stefan Bradl. Yes?”

_“Maybe.. And what about the idiot?”_

“He’s the youngest world champion.”

_“Arrogant for it.”_

“Total bastard. Doesn’t answer his phone late at night to answer quiz questions.”

_“Thank you. Might call you tomorrow for an actual catch up, yeah?”_

“Sounds good. Bye guys!” He waved as the phone was angled back at them and smirked slightly smugly at the _oh my God she wasn’t kidding_ faces, then grinned and mirrored her stupid face before she signed off, sighing to himself and staring across the hotel garden before surrendering to bed and staring at the ceiling instead.

Marc: _Love the hair._

Bea: _Thanks! Think some may be about to be pulled out ;) night night xxxx_

_ARGGHHH._

Marc: _Night… xx_

Another few minutes.

Marc: _I miss you. You should come and visit when we’re back. Fifa?_

Marc: _Answer tomorrow, it’s ok. ;)_

Bea: _I’m in the taxi! And sounds good :) next week before Sepang?_

 _Oh great, counting me down. Please don’t text me when he actually touches you._

Marc: _Perfect :D would be great to get some old-skool advice, too._

Bea: _We’re here…be quick…what?!_

Marc: _How I manage to share a garage with someone I don’t want to look at…_

Bea: _Ok sure <3 and he’s in the bathroom so bye bye in 3, 2, 1…_

Bea: _Night ;) xxxxx_

 _Argghhhhh. Not jealous._ He did actually growl at the ceiling slightly, head filled with that new blonde, and one of those people from the phone screen, pulling each other apart. _Not jealous. Argghhhhhh._

Marc: _Night. Be careful. Xxx_

Marc: _Shit, I meant make sure he looks after you. :/ miss you xxx_

And then woke up, groaned why he’d sent that, and then red-faced it down to breakfast.

*

“Here he is.” Marc grinned at his blushing face and kicked the chair out from under the table slightly for him, eyebrows wiggling. “Good night?”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm?!”

“Ok…” Little smile. “Yes. I had a verrryy good time. Weird just leaving, though. And how she expected me to. And…” _You know what I mean._

“I know, not quite the same?”

“Not quite the same.” _Miles away._ “But definitely worth a shot.” He grinned and stole a slurp from his brother’s coffee, Marc huffing and trying to grab it back.

“Get your own!”

“Excuse me?! Says YOU?!”

“I don’t do that anymore-“

“Pff. Living with you is actually worse than it was at home. I think I’ve managed one coffee to myself since Christmas.”

“That’s different.”

“Oh, really…”

“Yup.” He grinned and nodded, smug. “When you’ve won another 3 titles maybe we can share equally.” He laughed at the gesture he got back and then smiled, properly, as the wording sunk in. _When._ He left it for a few seconds before coughing impatiently and holding his hand out, Alex eventually rolling his eyes and passing it back.

“You’re worse than Emilio.”

“Pffff. That’s just rude.”

*

Bea: _Miss you, too. Good morning from the W. He is rich but a really bad fuck._

Marc: _Well not everyone can be me ;)_

Bea: _I wish I’d never told you how good you were :P_

Marc: _I worked it out ;)_

Bea: _Hmm, well...wasn't 'hard'...jeje_

Marc: _Stop..._

Bea: _Make me._

Marc: _Can't_

Bea: _Go ride a motorbike faster than everyone else in the world. :P xxx_


	102. Sepang 1: Ghosts (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> (slightly edited, lil bit of convo between Alex and Bea got eaten by AO3 :/)

“Wow.”

“Like it?”

“Wow.” He grinned and nodded, eyes wide. “You look _amazing_.”

“Thank you. Just for the record, I almost couldn’t come and show you because my knees were weak too.” I made it to in front of him and tugged on his collar slightly. “You look criminally hot all tanned and relaxed.”

“Well thank _you_.” He smiled and blushed into a kiss before lacing our fingers together and leading me out the door and down the decking to edge of the beach, our little luxury hut over the water, and then we both stopped to kick our shoes off and scoop them up before walking up the sand to the main part of the hotel, putting them back on and ending up on a corner table in the restaurant, nice and private, on the edge before it gave way to sand again.

We had dinner, and talked, and then sat in silence for a while, hands clasped together over the table, his thumb moving in little arcs over the back of my hand, both thinking, me about him, him about me, but I could feel we were getting a bit closer. I, certainly, had felt actually happy more often than not. Maybe 51/49, but compared to the first two weeks when it seemed like I’d never want to even leave the house again, it was a big difference. 

“Livi?”

“Hmm?”

“I know we said it was a bad idea.” He swallowed and looked nervously over the beach. “But Alex isn’t going to be there. And you don’t have to come to the track-“

“You want me to come to Sepang?”

He nodded and looked back at me, eyes questioning; very, very invested in the answer, finally relaxing into a smile and taking in a large breath. 

“Ok. If I don’t come to the track-“

“No, you don’t have to come to the track. I agree…with Marc there, that would be a bad idea.”

_I’m probably not going to be able to go to a race for a long time._ “Ok. If you want me to?”

“Hmm. I, er…I think I need you to.”

_To remind you I exist or to remind you he isn’t the center of the world?_ “Ok.” _Either is ok._

“I’m going to find this difficult. I just wanted to say-“

“I know. It’s ok.” I squeezed his hand and nodded sadly across the table before he smiled back, sadly, and pulled me to my feet and into a hug, lips humming the words into my neck.

“I mean it. I love you. But it’s going to be hard.”

*

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“No. No I’m not spending any more time with him than I absolutely have to.”

“Dani?!”

“Yeah. ‘Dani’.”

“Did you guys fall out or something?”

Marc laughed bitterly under his breath and shrugged, body language getting less defrosted if anything, Emilio frowning more and more. _You don’t want to know. You really, really don’t want to know._ “Yeah. You could say that.”

_Ah._ Something clicked and the manager raised his eyebrows. “Olivia?”

_Not really, no. Just him._ “Alex isn’t holding a grudge about that so I’m not either. With her.”

_Right…?_ “So…something else?”

“Yeah.” The rider downed the last of his drink and got to his feet. “’Something else’.”

*

“Hey.” I poked him and smiled at the little irritated growl. “Pff I know you’re awake.”

“No…”

“Good one.”

He cracked open one eye and half smiled. “What do you want?”

“I want to know what the plan is. People are going to know who you are, now.”

“Right…?”

“I mean…are we normal in public, or are we friends?”

“Ah. Well…I don’t know.” He sat a bit further upright and yawned, waving me a little apology. “I think it would probably be best if we were just friends in public, unless that’s going to hurt you.”

“It’s not. Ok. But you are hard to not grab on to so I can’t promise I won’t fail. I’ll try though, I think that’s a good idea.”

“Ok. But starting when we land.” He leaned back and closed his eyes again, fingers lacing through mine and squeezing, before looking back at me one more time with a little smirk.

“We are sharing the hotel room though, right?”

“Er… _yes_.”

*

“I love this hotel.”

“I know. To be honest, that’s the only reason I came.”

He fake glared at me and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure.”

“Awww.” I pinched his cheek and headed for the bathroom, listening to him ask about food and answering as much as was needed to communicate, walking into the room, all so similar, meaning I needed a minute with a wobbling lip and deep breaths.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok.” _I sound convincing._ “Sorry, just trying to push the eyeliner back towards the top of my face after the heat.”

*

_Sounds convincing._ He sat on the end of the bed and stared for a few seconds, memory of such a similar room, the way Marc had walked back in and pushed him against the wall after that fight, or what now seemed like a tiny conversation; taking a few deep breaths and trying to make it go away. “Ok. Room service for dinner?”

*

_Because he’s here._ “Yeah, sounds good.”

*

“Ok. I’m going to unpack.”

*

“Ok.”

*

_He’s probably here right now. Or, they are. Maybe she came. Maybe even on this corridor. Talking and laughing and sleeping together._ He stared at the wall for a few more seconds before sighing and collapsing back onto the bed. _At least we never shared one of these._ Another breath. _But I kissed you. Again. We fought. Or I thought that was fighting. And you told me you cared._

Alex: _There ok?_

Marc: _Yup. It’s hard._

Alex: _I can imagine. Did Livi go?_

Marc: _I don’t know._

Alex: _Ok well I checked twitter and she has location turned on and tweeted from KLIA a couple of hours ago. Sorry <3_

Marc: _How are you not mad?_

Alex: _Because I love her and she didn’t leave me for someone else_

_And because you're mad at yourself._

Marc: _But she’s with someone else_

Alex: _And if I never convince her she’s wrong about us, does she have to spend the rest of her life single?_

Marc: _No, but it’s Dani_

Alex: _Yeah. And it makes me jealous, and it makes me worry more about ever getting her back because they’re Livi and Dani. But it also means I know he’s a good person and she’s never going to end up with someone like Jordi again._

Marc: _But they jumped into bed together so quickly_

Alex: _So did you_

Alex: _Sorry that sounded harsh, I just mean I understand both your reactions._

Marc: _Do you think it’s my fault?_

Alex: _Livi or Dani?_

Marc: _Any of it._

Alex: _I think everyone could have done more_

_So that’s a ‘partly, yes’._

Marc: _Ok. Goodnight…tell Tito not to be too hard on you_

Alex: _I’m more tired than I’ve ever been_

Marc: _Just keep smiling, it keeps him distracted ;) love you_

Alex: _You too. Schlaf gut. (having fun with the german girl, not serious. Obviously.)_

Marc: _Danke. (oooh? ;))_

_Even you think I’m being too harsh. Great. Maybe we’re just not all saints._

*

_Oh my God seriously M-_ He sat up and frowned as he realised Marc was in Sepang, throwing the duvet back and padding out into the hall, from where it was already audibly obvious from the snoring that it wasn’t Tito either. He went to the door and felt his eyes widen. _Whaaaaat?_

“Hey. It’s midnight.”

“I know. Sorry. I got mugged and I have no petrol.”

_Fuck._ “Oh God are you ok?!” He ushered her in and grabbed a towel from the bathroom for her hair, plastered down in the rain. “Sorry I could have been a bit nicer, there.”

“Don’t worry. Yeah I’m fine, it’s happened before. Just 30 euros and some bank cards I’ve already cancelled. And I still have my phone! Which I did try and use to call you, I’d like to point out.”

“Well that’s good at least. Sorry mine’s on silent.”

“It is. And I figured it probably was. Also, I realised there’s a _lot_ of stuff on here that people would looooove to read. So I think I have some deleting to do.”

“Eeek. Yeah, I er…don’t think Marc would enjoy some of that stuff getting out.”

“He would not.” She shook her head and grinned knowingly, making Alex blush slightly. _Oh and I actually meant him and Dani. But bless you._ “Do you have a spare bedroom?”

“Nope. We have a Tito.”

“Ah. Ok. Can I sleep on your sofa then, please?”

“Don’t even try those puppy dog eyes on me, Bea.” He smiled at her face and rolled his eyes. “Yes, of course you can. Or you can help me pull the twin beds apart and sleep in my room?”

“Oh Alex, so forward…”

“Don’t. DON’T.” He giggled and felt himself go redder. “Which?”

“Pull the beds apart. If that will not freak you out.”

“As long as you remember which brother you’re dealing with and don’t try and jump me, I think we’ll be ok.”

“I can _probably_ manage that.” She followed him back down the hall and stopped as a sleepy Rabat popped his head out. 

“’s going on?”

“I got mugged. I have no petrol left to get home.”

“Shit.”

“Yup.”

“I would offer to sleep on the sofa but I really don’t want to.” He grinned and ducked a smack to the head before frowning as they both went into the opposite room. “You’d better be pulling those beds apart in there, Alex Marquez.”

“I am, get fucked.”

His teammate laughed to himself and collapsed back into bed, Alex now red faced but both of them giggling.

“Far enough?”

“Well if one of us rolls over we’re going to fall off before we reach each other so yeah.”

“Sensible criteria.” He pulled bedding out from the bottom drawer and threw that on the bed. “Is that enough?”

“That’s fine. Thank you! Sorry I keep turning up with babies and crime.”

He giggled and went a bit red again, telling her it was fine and getting back in bed before raising his eyebrows as she didn’t. “Ok?”

“Yeah…think Tito’s asleep?”

“Probably not yet.”

“Naked?”

“No.”

“Ok, I need a t shirt or something.”

“Ah yeah, good point. Careful though, he bites.”

She shot him a terrified look and then walked over the corridor and lightly knocked on the door, smiling at the very unveiled _fuck off_ that echoed back. “Hey Mr Moto2…can I raid Marc’s clothes please?”

_“If you must.”_

“I must.” She smiled at the sigh and ‘ok’ before opening the door, slightly terrified what she’d see, then laughing as he was sat with the duvet pulled around him, peeking over it like he was the terrified one. “He said _you_ bite.”

“Well I _know_ you bite.” He laughed and then yawned, watching as she knew where stuff was, pulling out a big alpine stars t shirt and some black boxers. “You’ve done this before.”

“I have.” She nodded and shrugged. “Usually for better reasons.”

*

“Ok?”

“Yup. I stole boxers too. Don’t think he’ll care but-“

“Nah, I think you could take most things and he wouldn’t care. Not with you, anyway."

_I know_. “Ok. Well…night, babybabychamp.”

“Night terrifying lady.” Pause. “Ow!”

“Just because you’re doing me a favour doesn’t mean you can be rude.”

“Pfff.” He grinned and turned over, yawning and then yelping as she poked him. “Hey! Stop. Sleep.”

“Hmm. Sleep. Night, Alex. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

*

_He’s asleep._ She listened to his breathing for a bit longer and sighed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how different that would have been if it had been Marc answering the door. _Well I definitely wouldn’t have lasted as long with the brave face._

_And I wouldn’t be lying here remembering everything that happened in this room._

She turned over and grabbed her phone as it lit up, wondering if it was who she thought it might be and feeling another confusing hit of everything wash over her. _Yup._

Marc: _Sorry just woke up. Are you ok?_

Bea: _I’m ok :) sorry I thought you might be awake already when I sent that. I got mugged :/ (I’m fine)_

Marc: _What?!! Where are you, can I call you?_

Bea: _Had enough petrol to make it to your house so I’m in the other half of your brother’s bed (we pulled them apart)_

Marc: _Oh. Ok…good. Sure you’re ok? Can I call you?_

Bea: _If you want to? Give me 2 minutes._

She got up and made it outside the patio door, still wrapped in the blanket and stealing some of Marc’s trainers on the way out, then lit a cigarette just in time for him to call.

“Hey.”

_“What happened?! Are you ok?”_

“Yeah I’m fine. And I don’t want to talk about it if you don’t mind. Not yet.”

_“Ok, I understand. But they didn’t hurt you or-“_

“Marc, I’m fine.” She bit her lip and felt it hit her slightly. _Oh don’t cry. Not in front of him. Again._ “J-just a bit shaken up.”

_“Ok…”_ He sighed and gritted his teeth slightly. _Do you want to come to Sepang? “Do you want me to distract you?”_

_Perfect. Always perfect. With me, anyway. With figuring out what you should be on your knees begging him for, not so much._ “Y-yeah. Please?”

_“Ok. Well, today I’ve been…”_

She took a few deep breaths as he started to talk, cigarette slightly shaky in her hand, watching the smoke curl upwards into the sky and feel everything start to get a bit better, silly details and team stuff and funny moments in Kuala Lumpur filtering through to her brain and starting to make her relax, smiling sadly at the last time she’d been there and he’d been trying to make her feel better _but with kisses and your arms around me and the tiniest, tiniest chance you actually wouldn’t let go._

_“So…how about you?”_

She snapped back to reality and took another drag, now pretty much levelled out again. “Me? Well other than tonight I’m good. I got promoted, so that’s good and surprising. I’m now in charge of Lleida and Barcelona.”

_“Ooh cool! So can I come and take you out the office for lunch one day in Lleida?”_

“Yes! That would be amazing. They don’t seem to like me much at the moment so I think you may help a bit there.”

_“Jeje I did enjoy the look on their faces on facetime. Should do that more. Because it is a bit random.”_

“Random?”

_“Me and you. There was no reason why I would meet you except Livi, but it’s great having a ‘professional’ friend and winding people up.”_

“Jajaja. Well…professional? Hmm. They think so.”

_“But we know better? Yeah I know.”_

“If you were here you know I would have smacked you for that.”

_“That’s why I dared to say it.”_

“Typical.” She smiled to herself as he obviously covered the phone for a second, snippets of conversation filtering down. _Bea…yeah…no…yeah it’s important. Well I won’t be long, so go and grab me a plate of whatever._

_“Sorry. I’m back.”_

“Don’t worry. Need to go?”

_“Nope. Not until you’re ok.”_

_Oh please don’t._ “Marc, I am. Honestly. Thank you.”

_“You’d do the same in reverse. Now tell me more about these evil co-workers?”_

“They’re not evil. They’re just a bit hard to get used to after the people I used to work with.”

_“Ah, like Jorge. Seems like a complete dick but not too bad underneath?”_ He bit his tongue and giggled at the explosion on the other end of the call. _Jeje._

“Next time I see you, I’m going to punch you in the face. And you’d better hope you remember why.”

_“Couldn’t resist. You know I don’t mean it. Promise?”_

“Pffff.”

_“Where’s the office? Still doing the same thing? Do you have a posh chair or anything? Come on, I want details!”_

“Ok.” She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Marc?”

_“Yeah?”_

“This is helping a lot. Thank-“

_“Shh. Chair! Is it like a throne? I imagine you on a swivel-throne, gold leaf, red velvet…you know…white cat maybe…”_

_Thank you._ “Well, ok…so it is kind of cool actually because I could choose it, but not gold. It’s like a bucket seat but no seatbelts, obviously, and it swivels and…”

_Thank you._


	103. Sepang 1: Civil War (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What we've got here is, failure to communicate..." ;) ♥
> 
> I think this will be 120 chapters. I _think_. We shall see, but I'm past 12 and 73 and I'm not writing 730 so my hands are tied. I guess if I run over you'll just be getting a 10,000 word chapter 120... ;)

“No.”

“No?”

“No.” I shook my head and bit my lip. “We can’t avoid him for the whole test. You certainly can’t. And once we leave the room, nothing’s going to be obvious, so if we see him, we see him.”

“But-“

“Dani?”

“Hmm?”

“You know I’m right. Please.”

_You are, yeah. I just know how it’s going to feel because I can imagine how he’s going to look at me._ “O-ok. Now?”

“Yeah. Come on.” I held out my hand and felt myself take a deep breath as he took it, heading out the room into the corridor, then down to the lift, like a deer in the headlights; terrified. “It’s ok. He might not even be there.”

“Hmm.”

It pinged and I dragged him out into the lobby, not too reluctantly, more needing to know that someone else was in the lead, and over to the breakfast area, and then felt him take a deep breath at almost the same time as me as we saw Marc, sat with Hector and a couple of others, phone to his ear, trying to eat with one hand and half failing, conversation filtering over to us apparently about some sort of chair. _Of course. Makes perfect sense._ He laughed and whatever the other person had said made him snap out of looking at the plate, and he looked up. He must have seen Dani first, closing his eyes for a second and then turning to stare out the window, completely ignoring him, teeth clenched, until his brain obviously caught up with me having been there too and he looked back, eyes fixing on mine, sad little smile and wave, avoiding Dani again at all costs, and I heard him relay that into the phone.

_You’re talking to Bea._ And I think Dani realised that, too.

We chose seats as far away as possible, Hector frowning over to see who it was and then processing the reactions, more puzzled, and finding eye contact with me and getting even more puzzled again as I shrugged and nodded towards Dani. _Yeah, him. Not me._

“Ok?”

“Not too bad.”

“Good. What do you want?”

“Anything.”

“Ok well then I’m not getting all of that for you.” I smiled to try and bring him back up a bit and got him over to the buffet, both choosing most things the same, until I went left for bread and he went right for juice, and I stopped and cringed.

_“Sorry. You go first.”_

_“Don’t bother. Feel free.”_

I watched Marc walk out, phone call obviously over now, sunshine-ish expression gone and replaced with a scowl, Dani’s shoulders slumped on the opposite side of the room staring at the jug of orange juice before he leant his hands on the side of the counter and hung his head.

“Hey.” I wrapped my arm around his waist in what I hoped wasn’t an overly-friendly gesture, Hector frowning at us again as he finished his coffee before giving chase, and gave him a squeeze. “He’ll defrost. Especially here in tropical hell…”

“Hmm.”

“Dani, I can’t do much here to make it feel better, but I’m sure, _sure_ it will get better.”

“Maybe.” Another sigh. “You didn’t see the way he looked at me.”

_No, but I saw the way he looked at you before._

*

“Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“No, outside.”

The manager frowned and followed Hector outside, ducking behind the door and frowning more at the expression on his face. 

“Something happened between Marc and Dani.”

“Hmm I was wondering that. He said he didn’t want to do any more events with him unless he absolutely had to.”

“At breakfast this morning he looked like he wanted to kill him.”

Emilio’s eyebrows shot up before another frown. “And Pedrosa?”

“Looked like he was sorry for something, or at least upset with the situation.”

“Right.” _Great._ “You want me to try and find out?”

“I don’t know, I was just wondering if you knew anything.”

“Nope. No idea.”

*

Bea: _Don’t fucking fall off xx_

Marc: _Me?! ;) xx_

*

“Be careful, yeah?”

“Always.”

“I know. But be careful.” I pressed my lips to his neck and gave him a squeeze. “Please.”

*

Marc arrived first, sitting on the chair in the box, already melting in the heat, trying to stop himself staring over the garage for whenever Dani arrived; not doing a bad job of it. Feeling his heart jump as he finally did, sat in his side, the knowledge of that, the fact he was so close, and would be for hours, making him close his eyes and take a few deep breaths.

“You ok?”

“Hmm?” His eyes shot back open and he tried to smile at Santi. “Yeah. I will be.”

“Too hot or –“

“No. Just…tough winter.” _Great explanation._ “But I’m ready.”

*

Dani counted himself down and took a deep breath before walking in, unable to stop himself looking over, catching Marc’s eye for a split second as he did before the younger rider turned away again, face stony, making his teammate grit his teeth and sit down a bit heavier on the chair than maybe he normally did, feeling the weight of this reality – days sat so close, getting those looks that felt like knives in his chest – start to sink in. _How did we end up here. All of us. How was it so almost perfect, and then all just fell over in a week._

“Ok?”

He nodded up and took another deep breath. _Too late now._ “Ready.”

*

Days Two and Three were the same, except Marc wasn’t in the breakfast room. And Dani looked slightly broken every time he walked back in, spending the whole day just close enough to Marc for him to feel the waves of anger washing off him, but too far away to try and do anything about it. And from what Bea told me, she’d spoken to Marc about him a few times. And I knew that was privileged information and I couldn’t share it, but it certainly made sense. _He’s just hurt. He’s angry, yeah. But…I don’t know. I don’t know why it’s so bad but at one point he didn’t even know how he was going to look at him._

People noticed, definitely. It was such overt hostility from the Marquez side of the garage that it would be hard not to, but at least there was no podium, interviews, press conferences for someone to film it. Not together, anyway. _But soon, there will be. And there’s going to have to be some sort of line, right? Best teammates on the grid to civil war…they’ll surely have to say something._

I sighed and started to turn over slightly to get comfier before I felt Dani’s forearm flex and try and pull me back, staring over at him and realising he was still completely asleep, that making my heart hurt a bit and making me turn the other way and move closer; taking a few deep breaths and biting my lip. _Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere._ I traced over the scar from the post-Jerez surgery with the tip of my finger and then pressed a kiss to it as he murmured in his sleep. _Unless you ask me to. And I don’t know if you ever would, or if I’ll have to notice, or if it will really ever happen. But I do know that I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to lie here as long as you want me to, and I’m going to give you whatever you want and whatever you need, and if one of us has to end up hurt, it’s going to be me. Because you deserve it._ I wondered if that sounded worrying and then pressed a kiss to his forehead. _Or maybe I’m just making up for the shit job lady luck has always done for you, because I love you. And I don’t have to define what I mean._

*

“Can I talk to you?”

“Hmm? Yeah. What’s up?”

“Not here.” Emilio held the door open to the back room and nodded Marc in. “Private.”

“Right…” _He can’t know. Deep breaths, he can’t know._

“What happened with Dani?”

_He can’t know._ “Nothing much.”

“Don’t lie.”

_Oh that’s not a lie. Nothing much actually happened. But everything changed._ “I’m not lying.”

“So you’ve not fallen out?”

“We’re not friends, anymore. If that answers the question.”

_Ouch._ “Right. So…what happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

_Because you would love the answer._ “Actually, it’s kind of private. But it’s serious, and it’s not something we can solve. So like I said before, try and keep everything separate if you can. Ok?”

“I find it hard to believe that anything-“

“Yeah, you would find it hard to believe.” Marc clenched his jaw and slammed back out the door, not too bad but enough to make his displeasure more than obvious, leaving Emilio sighing and staring at the ceiling. _Great._

Emilio: _Do you have any idea what happened between Marc and Dani?_

Alex: _Big argument :/_

Emilio: _Yeah I realised that. Any idea why?_

Alex: _Well, yeah. But I’m guessing you just asked Marc and he didn’t say anything so you’re asking me. Sorry, it’s up to him._

_I should never have trained them so well._

*

“Home. Livi. Home…Livi? Livi. Olivia! We’re home.”

I heard some of that before a finger poked my cheek and I felt myself scowl. “Urgh.”

“Oh come on, it’s not even the morning.”

“Still waking up.”

“Well…we’re home. And you’re literally on the meter, so…”

I managed a slight smile at that and blinked a few times as I woke up, Dani stood on the pavement looking back into the back seat with his hand extended like dog trainer who'd been through a lot with a very difficult puppy. I managed to grab his hand and pull myself out onto the pavement, shivering and joining him in a _brrrrrrrr!_ at the cold as the driver got our bags out the boot and pulled up the handles, saying our quick goodbye and thank you and then smiling wearily at each other. “Home. Home is cold.”

“Home is cold. But home has a log fire.”

“I knew there was a reason I lived here.”

He rolled his eyes and let us in, both leaving the bags as close to the front door as possible and heading for the kitchen, lights on, coffee machine making hot chocolate since it was past caffeine time and we were old enough to have that kind of rule, then deciding to leave the post and answer messages and all of that for the following day. I watched him take his cup from me and wander over to the sofa, melting into it and sighing, eyes closed and exposed neck as his face looked towards the ceiling one of the things I absolutely couldn’t look at without needing to touch, and then smiled as he realised I was watching and smacked the cushion next to himself. “Don’t make me have to call a prostitute.”

I giggled at that, completely out the blue and accompanied with an adorable little cheeky face, and had to pause half way there as the laughing made me almost spill the hot chocolate. “Stop it. The stakes are high!”

“If you spill any on that rug you will be severely punished.”

_Woah._ I raised my eyebrows and then started to smile as he realised what he’d said and his eyes snapped open, face slightly red. “Oh really?”

“Hmm…maybe?”

“Promise?”

“Don’t…” He smirked at me and shook his head, eyes closing again. “Too tired.”

_Again. I don’t know if you’re-_ “Doesn’t have to be now. I’m sure someone will spill _something_ on there at some point.”

“I volunteer.” We both giggled slightly before he opened his eyes again in time to see me put the cup down and make it over the room unscathed, fingers going through my hair and satisfied sigh as I lay down and put my head in his lap.

_How do I say it? ‘Hey, please touch me. Thanks.’_ I was just getting myself ready to say something about it before he bent down and kissed my temple, other hand tapping me on the leg and starting to get up. 

“Bed?”

“Hmm. Is it late?”

“No idea but it’s dark and we’re tired.”

_But are you too "tired"-_ I sat up and nodded, starting to stretch slightly and yawn, before I was suddenly scooped up and yelped over his shoulder. _Oh so the prostitute joke was the truth._ He pressed a kiss into my neck as I wrapped my legs round his waist and hung on, walking us up the stairs and putting me down on the end of the bed, pulling his t shirt over his head and staring down like he was asking something, obviously finding the right answer because I was soon pushed back into the sheets and running my fingers through his hair as he kissed a line down my neck to my t shirt, sitting back up over me to help me pull it off, and then my jeans, socks, and his, finally crotch to crotch and mouth to mouth again, all the storm clouds gone again for a while.

_Nobody kisses you like this unless they want to. I just wish I knew how you'd kissed him._


	104. Sepang 2: Search and Destroy (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - 30STM. 
> 
> Blankets ready, maybe. :/ ♥

“Look, I said leave me alone.”

“Yeah, I heard you. You really think we can keep up a whole season like this?! Really? Because it’s fucking killing me, Marc. It’s killing me already and we’re only on the second test-“

“Well maybe you should have thought of that before you-“

“Before I did what?! What did I do to you that you find so unforgiveable? I got it wrong when I turned up, yeah. And then you slammed the door in my face-“

“YEAH I DID. Get the fucking hint, Dani. Just _fuck off_ and leave me alone.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Oh, stop fucking crying.”

“Believe me, I’m t-trying.”

“Ok, please. Please stop crying.”

“Then stop _this._ Fine, so we’re over. If we even started. Nobody has to make it harder.”

“No, they don’t. How’s Livi, by the way? Is she making it _harder_?”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Sensitive subject?”

“Yes.”

“Well at least you’re honest about it this time.”

“Honest?! I’ve not lied about anything. Like fucking someone else. Remember that?”

“I told you!”

“Yeah, you did. You told me, and I stood there and I didn’t even doubt you. And then I walk in on you in bed with her again and I’m just supposed to forget that ever happened-“

“You’re supposed to trust me! Were. You were supposed to fucking trust-“

“Yeah, I was. You’re meant to earn that, though, you know?”

“We weren’t even together!”

“I’m not trying to tell you you cheated, Marc! I’m trying to tell you that I fucking knew you couldn’t keep your hands off her then so why would it-“

“Because then I’d had my hands on _you_.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you had. And then what happened? Then what fucking happened?”

“You broke my heart.”

“No! No I fucking didn’t. I made a mistake. Have you never made a mistake that you asked me to forgive you for?”

“Fuck off.”

“Stop being so fucking defensive.”

“What do you expect when you’re screaming at me?!”

“I’m not the one screaming.”

“Course not. Not perfect, mature Dani with his mature girlfriend. Never.”

“Can we leave Livi out of this, please?”

“Oh what a great fucking idea that would have been in November.”

“You know what would have been? Telling me what was going on. Letting me in. Telling me about the fucking baby! I mean, if you’d had that, you don’t think that would have affected me? ‘Oh hey by the way I’m having a baby’.”

“That was private.”

“No, no it wasn’t. Not from me and you fucking know it.”

“Oh sorry, was that not allowed?”

“You can do whatever the fuck you want, but we were in a _relationship_ , Marc. Where we were supposed to love each other and share things, and be there for each other. And I wasn’t perfect when you opened the door but fucking hell, a baby? And nothing until I turn up on your doorstep and find you almost naked wrapped around Bea? What the fuck did you expect? Honestly?”

“I didn’t even know if there was anything to tell you! We were talking about it-“

“You know what I think you mean? I think you mean you were testing out your straight life with your beautiful girlfriend and the idea of a kid. And you lie to yourself really fucking well, so I’m not surprised it worked and you started to believe it. And then I arrive and I make a mistake, and it’s all the excuse you need to shut the door in my face and run after your daydream. And thank God, thank GOD that she’s the one it was with and she’s smart enough to see through you. And in love with you enough to let you keep running back and pulling her back in.”

“Stop it.”

“ _‘Oh, stop fucking crying’._ ”

“Dani, _stop it._ ”

“Stop what? Glaring at you? Ignoring you? Taking every chance to make it worse and hurt you? Sorry, _baby._ I didn’t make the rules.”

He spat the last words across the space between them and stalked out the door.

“So maybe we’re not perfect, and I’m never going to be Alex and she’ll never be what I thought you were, but at least we’re honest. Enjoy your fake, straight life, you fucking coward.”


	105. Sepang 2: Alibi (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - 30STM

_Oh fuck._ Santi leant his forehead on the other side of the other door and let out a long, held breath, feeling himself go cold, everything suddenly horribly clear. _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck._

*

“Hey, so I thought-“ I stopped in the door as I saw him and felt my heart crack, taking a deep breath and closing it behind me before going over to stand in front of him, voice almost as small as his when he finally answered, not sure I wanted to know the details or if I was going to get them. “Dani?”

“Hmm.”

“What happened?”

“Argument.” He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my stomach, hanging on for dear life, leaving me with eye contact with myself in the mirror across the room, watching us like I was detached from the reality, combing my fingers through his hair as he sobbed and my t shirt started to stick to me. _Guess who._

*

_“Marc please stop crying or I can’t tell what you’re saying.”_

“T-try…t-trying. So-s-sorry.”

_“I can guess what happened.”_

“Y-yeah.”

_“Is anybody there with you?”_

“N-no. Can’t face an-anyone. B-bad idea ‘cause can’t ex-plain.”

_“Where’s Emilio or Santi? You can t-”_

“No.”

_“Please let someone in, please. I can’t-“_

“No. I’ll b-be ok, j-just wanted to talk to y-you. B-bye.”

He cut his brother off before he could say anything else and dropped the phone onto the carpet next to himself, finding a few breaths of calm before he started again, if possible even worse than before, squeezing his head between his knees and listening to the noise like it was coming from someone else.

*

_“Marc, it’s me. Let me in, please.”_

“G-go away.”

_“No. Open the door, or I will make the hotel open it.”_

“S-Santi please, I don’t know w-what Alex told you b-but-“

_“I’ve not spoken to Alex. Open the door, now.”_

“P-please leave me alone. _Please_.”

_“I mean it. You have 10 seconds, or I’m going to reception and getting another key.”_

He stared at the floor and tried to take some deep breaths, aware he was very serious, before losing it again and just about crawling over to the door and pulling it open before collapsing back down against the wall next to the door and pulling his knees in, everything going blurry until he felt the older man sit down next to him and a firm arm grab him into a hug, resisting and then giving in to it, no consciousness left to focus on embarrassment and suddenly grabbing on and hearing himself start to sob again. 

*

It took me 3 hours to get Dani to eat and shower and sleep. And I had to pretend I’d gone to sleep too and stare at the ceiling for an hour before I finally felt him relax, or as close to that as was going to be possible, and then managed to gently pull myself away and out onto the balcony, letting myself cry for a while to get rid of it or as best I could and then pulling out my phone, listening to it ring, and then feeling my breath catch as he actually answered, reality pulled back into focus with a bang.

_“Livi.”_

I don’t know how long I was silent for but he didn’t say anything else to fill the quiet, just waited, and eventually I heard myself choke out a hello, then a few more seconds of silence, and then that voice again.

_“Is it bad?”_

“Y-yeah.”

_“Santi’s with Marc.”_

“Do…” _Do you know how much I’d do to be having this conversation over the pillow with everything we ever wanted just around the corner._ “…do you know what h-happened?”

_“No. I know they argued.”_

“S-same. I think…I th-think D-Dani snapped.”

_“How is he?”_

_You still care. Your brother is crying over him, he’s sleeping with me, and you still care._ “Not good. Asleep.” I cleared my throat and tried to get the wobble out of my voice, not much success. “He’s broken.”

_“How are you?”_

“Ok.”

_“Don’t lie.”_

_Don’t make me tell the truth._ “B-better than I was.” _Standing up._ “Wondering when I’m going to need to move.”

_“Back to Spain.”_

“Don’t know.”

_“Leaving him?”_

“Y-yeah, I guess.”

_“What changed?”_

“He’s…” I felt myself let out a sob and clamped my hand over my mouth trying to keep it in, listening to the tell-tale hitch in his breath as he realised. “He’s…H-he’s like I was.”

_“So you need to stay.”_

“I will.” _This time I will._ “U-until they sort it out.”

_“You think they will.”_

“They have to. They can’t just let each other go.”

There was a long silence before another few words came back, horrible irony already apparent.

_“No, they can’t.”_

“I j-just wanted to check Marc was ok, someone was there. I mean...you kn-know what I m-mean.”

_“Thanks.”_

_I love you._ “B-bye Alex. I love you.” I snatched the phone away from my ear and banged the cancel button just before sitting down hard and clenching my jaw, phone lighting up next to me and proving the final straw.

Alex: _I love you too._

*

_3am._ I sighed and tried to smile at the reception staff, heading past them to the smoking area door and letting myself back out into the heat, lighting up before I reached the seating area and then stopping as I saw who was already there, hurriedly trying to catch some of the mess under my eyes. “Oh. Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Marc asleep?”

He nodded and sighed. “Think so. Dani?”

“Hope so.” I sat on the chair next to him, maybe 2 feet between us, and leaned on the table in front of me as he was doing on his. _Dani._ I suddenly realised what he’d asked and snapped my eyes back up to his. “Dani?”

“Yeah. I overheard the argument.” He stubbed out his cigarette and then lit another one. “We knew something happened, but…but this is huge.”

“I know. Just you knows?”

“Yeah. I don’t think Marc knows I overheard them; he couldn’t or wouldn’t explain.”

“Right. Well all I know is that they fought. Dani wouldn’t explain either.”

Santi nodded and then turned back to me, eyes brown and wide and full of affection, making me want to bury myself in teddy bear hugs until it was all ok. “Are you ok?”

“Hmm.” _No._ “I will be.”

“You and Dani.” He let that sit between us, me not sure whether it was a statement or question, and then felt myself nod.

“Yeah. After…after I left Alex.”

“You didn’t leave Alex for Dani?”

I shook my head and swallowed, hard. “No. I…” _I would never...and I can feel myself about to tell you everything._ “I left Alex because I won’t be able to have kids with him, and he wants kids. And I want him to have that.”

“Oh.” Those eyes again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know-“

“It’s ok. I have a higher risk of ovarian cancer and he can’t have kids soon, and I can’t wait that long before I have to lose the chance.”

“Oh. You want them too?”

“Yup.” _Little Marquezes. More than anything._

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. Well…not much choice. But…yeah. Marc and Dani…I don’t know. I don’t know what you heard.”

“I heard they were in a relationship, Marc didn’t tell him about a baby, Dani got something wrong or assumed something, and then accused Marc of being a coward and trying to pretend to be straight. Both yelling and crying.” He looked up at me like he couldn't believe what he was saying and then nodded slightly at the confirmation on my face.

_Oh, God._ “Hmm.” I cleared my throat and tried again. “Yeah. My best friend, Bea? She got pregnant. Ok, no…first, Marc found it really hard when everything first started, with Dani. Really freaked out by what he was feeling…what that meant, I mean…you can imagine.” I bit the back of my hand and tried not to cry as the memory of sitting outside with him after the party suddenly hit me, this innocent little bundle of terrified fear grabbing onto my hand and hanging on every word. _I miss you. And I miss who we were._ “S-sorry. I just…remember it really well. And…he got better, because it wasn’t once. I mean…they fell asleep together on the sofa, then he kissed him, then they shared their rooms sometimes. Nothing too physical, because Marc was still terrified. And…” _Dani, on that bench in Cervera, telling me things that are still true._ “…and Dani felt it for ages. He’s known he’s bisexual for a long time and…he fell for Marc. Never thought anything would happen, and then suddenly it started to, and they seemed to be about to make it happen when Marc got freaked out again and slept with Bea. He already had, they’d had…something before, but I don’t know when she got pregnant. But she did. Anyway, Marc told Dani, although they weren’t ‘together’ then, not quite, and obviously …it wasn’t very nice to hear. But then, in Milan, I think something more happened for the first time, and Marc went with him back to Geneva. They shared Dani’s motorhome at the test and he was definitely more relaxed then because I walked in on him naked because he thought it was only him and Dani.” I smiled and felt my cheeks burn slightly at the memory before carrying on. “But…then he went to Geneva again, for a lot longer. Made everything official. Told each other how they felt. And then Marc went back to Cervera and found Bea on his doorstep saying she was pregnant. And he was perfect with her. He just didn’t say anything to Dani, and when he turned up, he found them in bed together, although nothing had happened, and jumped to conclusions. So they fought, Dani left, realised he’d got it wrong, went back, and Marc slammed the door in his face and spent the next week in bed with her, trying to decide what to do. They went to get rid of it once and couldn’t, and just tried to…be there for each other, I guess. And she loves him. But she knows she’s not the same. So she had an abortion. And then…I’d left Alex, and I went to Geneva because I didn’t know where else to go. And we cried pathetically for a while, for a few days to be honest, and then we ended up sleeping with each other. And we gave it 24 hours to see if we felt differently and we didn’t, so it carried on. We were both in pain, and we’re both…” _What doesn’t sound horrible._ “…in the same situation. He’s not Alex, I’m not Marc. The people we were probably meant for. I love him. He loves me. Just not…not quite like they do. You know?”

I watched him shake his head slightly, a lot to take in, eyes wide still, and then smile sadly at me. “I’m not sure I do.”

“I don’t think I ever understood how that could work either, but…it’s true. And Marc obviously had some sort of revelation because he came to Geneva to see Dani, and then saw us kiss through the window and…here we are. Nobody cheated.” _God, that's true. For all the mess, nobody cheated._

“And Alex?”

“I told Alex about us.” I felt it suddenly hit me again and started to cry as I said it, able to tell their story with a lot more control than my own; having to say it out loud like physical pain and almost worse than the first time I’d lived it. “A-and Alex as-asked me if h-he was helping. If Dani w-was h-helping m-me be less ups-set…”

I felt Santi get off his chair and put an arm round my shoulders as I psyched myself up and then let it go, leaning his forehead against my temple as I said it and broke down, his grip tightening around me and murmurs of _I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry_ just about audible, hand rubbing my back until I let him pull me into a proper hug and muffle the noise.

“And…a-and Alex just said _tell him thank you._ ”


	106. Beast of Burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - Rolling Stones

“What are you doing?”

“Kissing you.”

“No, you’re not.” She pressed a finger against his lips and pushed him back slightly, smiling sadly and fighting the temptation like wildfire. “Not again.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not fair.”

“You don’t want me?”

She laughed slightly sadly at the irony and shook her head, squeezing his hand. _Always._ “Not this you. I want a version of you that wants me, and you don’t. We've been here before.”

“I do, I just-“

“Do not argue with me, Marquez. We flirt, and you care, I know that, and I care about you. I want to have you in my life _forever_ , but I’m not doing this again. We’re friends, now.”

“Just tonight I need-“

“Marc.” The tone said it all and she pressed a kiss to his temple as he leaned into a hug and sighed, giving up. “You can’t keep needing. I need things too.”

“But there’s no one else who-“

“There doesn’t have to be anyone else to make you feel better, baby. I hope I can still make you feel better and hug you and talk to you about anything whenever you need me, but every time we do this, it hurts more and more when you leave. And you will always leave.” She wrapped him up properly and gave him a squeeze as he sniffed. “You know you will.”

“Why can’t I choose?”

“Choose?”

“Why can’t I just choose to be in love with you. You’re perfect.”

She bit her lip slightly and took a deep breath, squeezing him again and then pulling away to match his teary eyes with her own. “Thank you. You’re very wrong.”

“Nope. Perfect. On the inside, and on the outside. Absolutely perfect.”

“Marc, please don’t.”

“I’m not trying to upset you, sorry.”

“I know, but…” _Deep breath. Say his name._ “…you know how I feel, but you know I’m not Dani.”

“Dani’s not perf-“

“No, he’s not. And neither am I. And we both love you, but I think _we_ both know who you want to be here, right now.”

“I don’t want-“

“I don’t care how long it takes to realise and how much you have to work on it together to make it happen, I’m telling you the truth.”

He shrugged slightly at her and then relaxed back into the sofa, rubbing his eyes and then staring at the ceiling, wall back up slightly. “Well I’m pretty sure you’re perfect.”

“Come here.”

“What?”

“Come here.” She pulled him over and wrapped him around her, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and giving him a squeeze before resting his head on her lap and stroking through his hair. “Is this not better?”

“I can still feel it.”

“That’s not going to go away no matter how many times we fuck.”

“This isn’t just friends.”

“Hmm. Maybe not guy friends. But I’m not actually a guy. Not sure if you notice, nowadays, with your new perspective…”

“Fuck off.” He blushed slightly and turned his face down for a second. "Bad subject."

_He’s in there somewhere._ She watched the hint of a smile fade and smiled down at him, his eyes shut again. "This is Livi’s broken heart position. When she’s really upset. Friends, giving other friends a hug.”

“Hmm. Do I have any of those left?”

“Yes. Lots. The ones you had before, plus me. I think you lost one, yeah. But not because he’s gone, just because he’s more.”

“Really? Because it kind of feels like I fucked everything up so badly that I should move to Tavullia and eat pizza where everything is simple.”

“That sounds nice. A complete lie, but pretty nice.”

“Don’t.”

“I’m not wrapping you in cotton wool, I’m telling you the truth. What point would you rewind to?”

“That’s pointless.”

“No, it’s not. Work out what you think was the big mistake, and then work out how to put it right.”

“Wednesday. When I opened the door and you told me you were pregnant. I told Tito. I told him not to come, and then I kept my mouth shut and I kept it from the one person I should have told straight away.”

“Right. So what do you do about it?”

“Well he’s with Livi.”

“He is.”

“So, I guess I regret that forever and concentrate on racing.”

“Or…”

“Or what? I’m not cheating. I’m not stealing-“

“Marc?”

“Yeah?”

“You need to talk to Livi. I think you’ll find out why your brother’s so head over heels.”

*

I don’t know what time me and Santi moved from the Sama Sama smoking square in KL, but we both looked like it had been death o’clock by the time we saw each other again in Qatar, as though it had been just last night and everything was still fresh. I went to the track. To the paddock, at least, as a friend, publicly. And Dani arrived first, and he did a really good job of pretending everything was almost ok, if you were willing to buy it.

It had been rough. Alex had been testing too, and that was hard to watch, even from behind a tv screen. Marc was 22 now. Dani had been like a zombie, or a child, always apologetic about it but unable to stop himself, like everything was foggy, 29 suddenly seeming like fifty. He did send Marc a message to say sorry, just that word, but nothing came back. And nothing came back from the feeling of having left him in bed and then heard Alex’s voice, suddenly part of the same reality again, and the feeling of watching Dani fall apart over someone else. And more than that, the feeling of somehow being relieved about it, somewhere.

Marc arrived a few minutes after we did, as I was walking out, and I stopped and bit my lip as I saw him, like he was somehow 17 again and completely lost, tiny and breakable, and I tried to make my stance as open as possible before he made the decision for me and wrapped me in a hug so tight I wasn’t sure I would ever breathe again, moving us away from the doorway and burying his head in my neck, seeming to sense the relief flood through me. “Sorry if you thought I was mad at you.”

“Don’t apologise to me.”

“I’m sorry if I blamed you. And I’m sorry I’m not like him.” I wondered which him before he clarified. “I’m sorry that I’m older but way less wise, and that I couldn’t understand how we ended up here.”

“I’m sorry we ended up here.”

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry you can’t have what you want and…” He squeezed me again and then pulled away and looked me in the eye. “…and I’m sorry I didn’t understand what that felt like.”

“Don’t. You can have-”

_Wait._ “You called him to see how I was.”

I nodded and closed my eyes as he caught the tear with his thumb. “Yup.”

“Thank you.” He gave me a squeeze again and then pulled away, about to head off. “I know how hard that must have been. Can you come to my motorhome tonight?”

“Yeah?”

“No, he’s not waiting there. It’s not a trap.” He smiled sadly at my worried and disappointed nod and shook his head. “I just…Bea said I should talk to you.”

“Well, she’s usually right, so…I will be there.”

“Good. And no.” He managed a little smile and wagged his finger at me as he disappeared, some more Marquez apparent in the expression that had been upside down for too long. “I’m not fucking her. _Promise_.”


	107. One More Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title - Maroon 5.

“Hey.”

_Nervous. Why are you nervous._ I grinned up at him to try and dispel that whacked a kiss on his cheek as I walked in, deciding to be as normal as possible and try and press reset as best we could, so I walked over to the fridge. “Can I have a beer?”

“Yeah, of course. I was hoping you knew I meant here, I forgot we were in a hotel-”

“Do you want a beer?”

“Hmm…no….” _Why am I so nervous?! It’s Li-_

“Marc?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s me. Why are you nervous?”

_Oh I hid it so well._ He sighed to himself and grinned back at me slightly blushing before he shrugged. “Because I know what I’m going to say?”

“And a) you think I have no clue, and b) you think there’s _anything_ you could say that you’d have to be nervous about?”

“Well…”

“Well?” I grinned again and widened my eyes as I took a sip of beer, watching him visibly relax and then prodding him to sit down on the sofa and leaning on him, smiling to myself and relaxing as his arm went round me. _Back to normal._ “Hit me.”

“Maybe I should let you drink another 10 first.”

_So sweet._ “Hmm ok.” I burrowed into a hug and planted my head on his chest, giving him a very hard squeeze and not letting go. “I missed you so much, babychamp.”

_Awwww._ “I know. I missed you too.” He laughed and eeked as I squeezed him even harder and then poked me off and swallowed, hard, nerves back as we sat opposite each other. 

_You really think I have no idea. I don’t know if it’s cute or annoying._ “Spit it out.”

“Hmm. It…I…It’s a bit awkward? So I don’t really know where to start…”

I looked at him for a few seconds, fidgeting, adorable, and actually felt enough like myself to make the inappropriate joke, flicking my sunglasses down over my eyes and lowering my voice. 

“You’re here to bargain for the prisoner.” 

I watched him freeze as he started to go red, panic creeping in, and then a giggle, and a full laugh, as I looked over the glasses at him and raised my eyebrows, starting to grin along with him, and then got hit with a torpedo hug that crushed the air almost completely out of me, lips pressing the giggly, stressed, relieved and slightly horrified words against my ear. “You can’t say things like that in situations like this.”

“Get off!” I wrestled myself free and put the sunglasses down on the table before taking a deep breath and smirking at him, nodding. “I can. Maybe I’m not as saintly as certain people we both know, but I’m happier for you than I am sad for me. Maybe because I know it’s _right._ ”

“You think he’ll forg-“

“I think you have to show you mean it, and it’ll be ok.”

“But…I mean…how do I-“

“Come to the determined location, alone and unarmed-“

“Stop it…”

“You’ve not even asked for proof of life!”

He giggled again and shook his head, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, legs crossed and then suddenly going into a little yoga pose and making me giggle. “Marc what the fuck are you doing.”

“Trying to stop laughing.”

“Word of advice.” I poked him in the ribs and then dived into him in another hug, tickling enough to make him squeal but not enough to put myself in serious physical danger. “ _Never_ do that.”

*

I’d ended up in there for two hours, eventually ending up slouched on the sofa next to each other watching a football match and yelling, two identical beers from which we took almost identical sips, and finally I was struggling upright and stretching, downing the rest of the bottle. “Right. I’m going.”

“Booo.”

“And you should probably stop drinking.”

“Booo.”

I was about to reiterate that when there was a knock at the door and Santi’s voice echoed in. I looked back at Marc, surprisingly not too red faced after what I imagined had been a challenging evening crying into his shoulder in KL, and then yanked open the door with a grin. “Santiiiiii Hernannndez!!!”

“Hello…” Hint of a smile, puzzled but happy.

“HI!” I ruffled his hair on the way past and poked him slightly, keeping my voice out of earshot and nodding a confirmation before I made it out into the paddock proper.

“Tell him you know.”

*

“Hey. Where’ve you been?”

“With Marc.” I sat next to him on the sofa and then crumpled sideways so my head was on his lap. “Had some beers. I’m a bit dangerous.”

“Lethal.” _With Marc?_ “How…er…how is he?”

“Good. We’ve been _laughing._ Remember that?!”

“Laughing?”

“Yeah! Remember when we did that a lot?? When you and Marc got thrown out of hotels in Brno and you were so drunk you couldn’t use the oven? And we had a dance off, and Marc whacked that mop into the lawn when he thought he was a ninja-“

“Don’t, Livi. Obviously-“

“Don’t ‘don’t’ me, Pedrosa. Have a bit of faith.”

“Faith?”

“Faith. But a little bit before you have that faith, let’s pretend for one more night that this is perfect.”

“Livi you’re making no sense-“

“I don’t have to make sense.” I sat up and locked our eyes together for a minute. “Have you eaten yet?”

“No…”

“Ok, then give me ten minutes.” I leaned in a pressed our lips together, feeling his response needier than I’d imagined, tongue finding mine straight away and pulling me in before I pulled away and pressed our foreheads together. “Stay here.”

I left him frowning on the sofa, heading into the bathroom to make myself look presentable, and found him in the same place when I got back. “Would you like to come to dinner with me?”

“Well…yes…” He looked at me like that was obvious, completely lost.

“Smile.”

“Wh-“

“Dani, just smile. It’s the best thing about you.”

He blushed slightly and then did, accidentally, at the way I was looking at him, me smiling back like _there we go_ , him grinning wider. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Nothing going on. We’re going to have dinner. Ready?”

“Yeah…”

“Ok then.” I smiled again and pulled him to his feet, lacing our fingers together and pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. “Then let’s go.”

*

“You’re still being weird.”

“You mean I’m not crying?”

“Maybe?”

“That’s not weird.”

“Well no, but-“

“No buts. How’s the fish?”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Steak?”

“Amazing.”

“Good…”

“Santi knows about you and Marc.” I watched his eyes widen to a dangerous degree and nodded. _Stay calm. Don’t combust._ “He overheard the yelling.”

“Wh…I mean…what should I-“

“Nothing. Santi’s a good guy, I don’t think you have to do anything.”

“But…But…” He spluttered various syllables at me before going quiet again and waiting.

_You’re so cute._ “But?”

“But…argh!”

“Ok yeah fair enough.”

“You’re not going to say anything else?!”

“What else can I say?”

“I don’t know, come up with a plan or something?!”

“Like what? He’s not going to yell about it and neither is Marc. Could be a good thing.”

“A good thing?!”

“Yes. A good thing, in the long run.”

“The long run.”

“When you sort it out, it will be nice to have allies.”

“Livi what are you talking about?! He hates me. He-“

“No, he doesn’t hate you.”

“You talked to him, then.”

“Yup.”

“You’re not going to tell me what-“

“Nope.”

He suddenly seemed to realise what might be going on and sighed, putting down his knife and fork and sitting back, eyes welling up slightly, like a tiny, lost child. “You’re leaving me, aren’t you?”

“No.” _Don’t cry, baby. It will be the death of me._

“Don’t lie-“

“I’m not lying. Don’t cry, baby.” I smiled at him and shook my head. “And I don’t want you to, when I ask this. If Marc walked in here right now and got on his knees and begged you to take him back, what would you do?”

“Not going to happen.”

“No, it’s not going to happen. It could, though. What would you do?”

“No idea.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Livi stop-“

“Stop…?”

“Just stop.”

“Tell me what you’d do and then I might.”

“No because that would hurt you-“

“And you don’t want to. And I know, and I don’t want to hurt you either. But what would you do?”

“Talk to you.”

“Tell me the truth?”

“Yes.”

“The truth being?”

“That I love you, but…”

“I know.” I laced my hands through his across the table and squeezed. _I love you, but…_ “So after tonight, when or if we say ‘I love you’, it means ‘Dani, you’re one of the most important people in the world to me and I love you, and you’re one of my best friends.’”

“So you’re leaving me.”

“No. We’re just going back to how we were before. I will never leave you, I promise.”

“I don’t know if I can do this without you-“

“You can, and you will. Because you’re Dani Pedrosa, and you keep going no matter what happens. And sometimes you even have the energy to carry someone else for months and keep them going. But I’m ok, now. I’m ok. And you’ll never be quite ok as long as-“

“With you, I’m ok. I’m fine.”

I sat and stared at him for a second, sudden flash of Alex and Marc and _fine is not a Marquez word_ , starting to smile again, slightly sadly, and squeezing his hands. “Fine is not a Pedrosa word, Dani. Fine is not enough.”

“It is.”

“You think it is because you don’t see how it will work out.”

“If you go, no I don’t see how it will ‘work out’.”

“Well…I do. You deserve more.”

“Livi, you’ve got to stop doing things because people ‘deserve more’.”

“What?”

“Me, and Alex. We’re telling you that we want you and you’re running off because you think we deserve whatever it is…what about you?”

“What about me?”

“What about how it feels on the other side of the table when you want to give people what they deserve and love them, and they walk away?”

“This isn’t the same as Alex.”

“It’s similar.”

“No it’s not.”

“Why?”

“Because.” I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “Because I deserve more, too. Because when you say ‘I love you, but…’, that’s how I feel, too. Please don’t make this about him.”

“Ok. Sorry.” He swallowed and nodded, both of us quiet and waiting a few seconds, before he scanned the room and looked back at me. “Sorry, that was unfair. I don’t want you to be hurt either-”

“It’s ok.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes. It’s ok. You want to get out of here?”

“Yeah. You see-“

“Yeah. I do. Dick.” I got to my feet and smiled at the slightly amused _you shouldn’t be so cruel_ expression on Dani’s face as I raised my eyebrows in a silent question.

“Up to you.”

“Well I think he already thinks I’m fucking Alex and Marc, so…”

“So add a bit of truth?”

I bit my lip and smiled slightly before lacing my fingers back through his again and starting to walk off, Jack’s table fortunately or unfortunately on the way to the door, ignoring him completely until we were waiting for the lift and he was still fascinated, and I looked sideways at Dani and grinned.

“When we get in there, you’d better put on a good show.”

“Hmm…does it have to be a show?”

_Is it wrong to want it, or is it wrong to walk off now like we didn’t care._ “One more night.”

“One more night.” 

He nodded and we walked in and pressed the button, side by side until he pulled me in for a kiss. And maybe it was for the show, maybe it was a bit weird given what I knew, and maybe it was harsh on Jack’s shocked little face as Dani actually unzipped the back of my dress all the way down to the waist just as the door closed, but it was also a kind of neediness we hadn’t really felt since the first few days, only this time it wasn’t about trying to forget someone else, it was definitely about trying to remember each other.

_And that is ok. For one night._


	108. Friends; A Foreign Concept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeje and it's chapter 108 ;)
> 
> Sorry? Not personal but fun ;) :D
> 
> Thank you!! ♥

“Morning.”

“Morning.” He smiled sadly over the pillow and traced my cheek with his fingers. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“But…”

“But.” I nodded and relaxed into a kiss, enjoying the moment and wrapping myself around him, before we eventually broke apart and I ruffled his hair. “Bye bye, lil Dani Pedrosa.”

“Don’t-“

“Hey, I mean bye bye Dani Pedrosa who makes love to me in the most spectacular ways.” Another kiss. “Plus I’m not exactly going to escape, am I? Since we live together.”

“We do. We do?!”

“Well I thought we did?”

“You’re staying at home?!”

“Yes! I’m staying at home. At least for a while. You’re still probably only one of three people in the world I could stand to live with. If that’s ok?”

“That makes everything a bit better.”

“Aww.”

“And I guess Alex, Bea, and me?”

“NO! I could never live with Bea again. It’s a fucking nightmare.”

“Oh! Ok.” He laughed and pursed his lips slightly. “Ah. Me, Alex, and…someone I don’t know.”

“Nope…”

“Me, Alex…”

“Yeah those are the correct ones…”

“And…”

“And…?”

“And I have no idea?”

“I love how you’re not even trying to say Marc and you’re completely right.”

“Jeje. Yup…”

“So have fun with that…”

“Don’t-“

“Shh! Can’t guess?”

“No.”

“Drumroll…” I tapped out a rhythm on his arm and smiled. “Tito.”

“Really?!”

“Yup. Nice, not a sexual predator, tidy enough, and does not steal things like Marc does.”

“Important criteria.”

“Yup. But did you think I was going to disappear into the ether?”

“Yes.”

“Nope. Not depressed, not running away from a violent ex-hus…oh actually there’s probably even a divorce waiting for me in the mailbox.”

He smiled and sighed before staring at the ceiling for a second and shaking his head. “God if you wrote all this down it would look like such a fuckup.”

I laughed slightly and nodded. “I know. ‘STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER’.”

He nodded and giggled to himself before propping himself on his elbow facing me and lacing his fingers through mine on my stomach. “Yup. But I don’t’-“

“I don’t regret it, either. You know what really made me think? Other than Marc.”

“What?”

“If we were serious about this being forever, we would have talked about kids.”

“I thought about it.”

“I thought about it, too. But…”

“But. Again. And they’d be very short.”

“They would.” I laughed and pulled him into a proper hug, breathing him in for a while. “And they’d have an amazing dad. And one day, you and Marc will be amazing dads.”

“Don’t. I don’t know where we are with anything-“

“I know, but like I said yesterday…have a little faith. You know…” I pressed my lips against his ear and gave him a squeeze. “That I’d never give you up for anything if I didn’t think you’d work, yeah?”

“Hmm.”

“Good. Now shall we have breakfast?”

“Ok.”

I waited for him to move and he didn’t, both realising why and stealing another 10 minutes wrapped up, before eventually we moved, and that was it. Everything from then on would happen in Geneva, ‘at home’, as friends and nothing else. 

*

 _Deep breath._ He tried to follow that advice and then felt a fizz go through him as he looked up and saw him. _Hello. I love you. Sorry I was a complete idiot._ “M-morning.” He watched as Dani’s eyes widened, in shocked happiness, and heard the same nervous response in return echo back before he made it past and to the table with Hector, sharing a look with Livi and nodding. _Baby steps._

*

 _Oh, fucking great._ “Morning guys.” I walked in like I hadn’t last seen half of them with Dani’s hands under my clothes and stood as straight as I could, suitcase in front of me.

“Morning…”

“Hola.”

 _Oh Maverick. Why._ “¿Que tal?”

“Bien. Bien…”

I watched Jack glower to himself in the reflection and carried on in Spanish, Miller understanding nothing. _Jeje._ “¿Bike?”

“Better than Cheste.”

“Good. ¿And Aleix?”

“Better than Pol.”

“¿And your cycling shorts?”

“ _Tight_.” 

I laughed at that and nodded to myself, watching him smirk to himself and send me a wink, and then Jack had obviously had enough and turned to me, studying the situation with a frown. “Did I do something bad to you?!”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. You don’t have to be rude.”

“Sorry.” I caught Maverick’s eye and the conspiratorial glint in there. “Irony.”

“Excuse me?”

“Excused.”

The Australian seemed to blow up on the spot and turned to me, again, fully, flummoxed. “What?! What did I do?!”

“Well…maybe Alex has better manners than me, but I don’t really like people saying my fiancé and his family are like royalty and _try to make everybody their bitch._ ” _Ouch. Not anymore. But it makes the point._

He went a bit red and stared at me, realizing at the same time that my English was also native, or half, and getting a bit more nervous. “Well…fine ok so maybe I was harsh but you didn’t exactly look like Alex’s fiancé last night.”

I looked at Mav’s confused face and grinned, explaining. “El juega sucio. Pues…anoche Pedrosa y yo le hicimos una broma al ‘Jackass’…” [He plays dirty. So…last night me and Pedrosa played a trick on the jackass.] He laughed and gave his friend a guilty look before I looked back at Jack and shrugged. “Just playing with you.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“I don’t mind what you believe.”

“Fine. So you’re just here when Alex isn’t and that’s normal-“

“Yeah. I’m Marc and Dani’s friend.”

“’Friend’? Yeah I’m sure.”

 _Fuck you._ “Yeah. Foreign concept to you, I know.”

“Pfff. Bitch.”

I watched Maverick’s eyes widen at that and shrugged at him, surprised he wasn’t joining in, and then looked back at Jack. “I’m not your bitch, Jack.” The doors pinged open and we stepped out. “That was Danny Kent.”

I watched him start to go purple as Maverick bit his lip to stop himself giggling, and then pulled out my phone and raised my eyebrows, cutting off the Australian’s moment to reply. “Selfie del #25gang antes de irme?”

He almost dropped his bag trying to say yes and grab the phone, leaving Jack huffing to himself as we posed for a photo with stony faces, in the true Viñales style, and I felt his other hand creep around my waist and pull me in, talking under his breath and back in Spanish. “Why don’t you hate me?” 

“I don’t hate him. Why are you playing along?”

He pulled away and shrugged, still that dirty smirk, and then winked as he walked away, pulling Jack along. “Why are you letting me?”

*

@LiviOhSoupOh: Sorry I tweet less! How’s everybody?

@LiviOhSoupOh: I’m just going home to Geneva after dropping in on @marcmarquez93 and @26_DaniPedrosa...be safe guys!

@marcmarquez93: @LiviOhSoupOh thanks! :) coffee first? (look left I’m here!)

@LiviOhSoupOh: @marcmarquez93 foool! ;)

@26_DaniPedrosa: @LiviOhSoupOh thanks! Enjoy the coffee :) @marcmarquez93

@marcmarquez93: @LiviOhSoupOh @26_DaniPedrosa she paid, all good ;) :D

@LiviOhSoupOh: And look who I found before I left! @maverickmack25 suerte, crack! #25gang

_Maverick Viñales retweeted one of your tweets!_

@maverickmack25: @LiviOhSoupOh jeje, buen viaje!! ;)

@LiviOhSoupOh: Everyone asking, I live in Geneva atm for my job! @26_DaniPedrosa is my housemate (or I am his lodger!) 

_Dani Pedrosa and Marc Marquez retweeted one of your tweets!_

@LiviOhSoupOh: DM @marcmarquez93 tell Alex I’m only messing with Mav because it’s killing Jack Miller. If he asks.

@marcmarquez93: DM @LiviOhSoupOh I will, and he tweeted me!!!! :D

@26_DaniPedrosa: DM @LiviOhSoupOh HE TWEETED ME!!! :D Love you, see you soon xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #25gang


	109. Fireblade

_Home. For a while._ I walked in and felt the lovely familiarity, sighing contentedly and leaving my bag just inside the door as I made a beeline for the coffee machine, set it going, and then went to check the post, heart pounding, wondering whether this was one of those moments I was happy about being alone for or wishing I had company, and then feeling the answer as I walked back down to the mailbox and opened it, the letter almost leaping into my hand.

_I am free._

I smiled down at it, tears starting to prick at my eyes as I did, before I looked up at the sky and grinned.

_Free._

And I moved all my stuff slightly sadly from ‘our room’ into what I decided was ‘my room’, two to choose from, and then cleaned the house, then had a shower and took a stupid amount of time on my appearance, and then went into the city, bought an expensive glass of wine, sat at a bar, and met Frank from Hamburg who was working for the UN, had some reasonable sex, and then went home and slept alone, and it was glorious. Well, maybe not when you’re in love with Alex Marquez, but almost.

*

_Just talk to him. He’s licked your asshole clean of his own come and you can’t even fucking talk to him._ Marc blushed purple at that thought, nervously laughing to himself, and then freezing as Dani heard that and looked up and saw him. 

“Hi.”

_He spoke. He spoke to me._ “H-hi.”

“Ok?”

“Hmm. Not bad. Getting better. You?”

“Hmm. Same. Do you…” _Come on._ “…do you want a beer?”

The younger rider almost choked on his own breath and felt his eyes well up. _Control yourself. Come on._ “Y-yeah..?”

Dani nodded, seeing the reaction, feeling the same, and pushed the opposite chair out with his foot. “Good. What were you laughing about?”

_That little smirk. I think I’ll die before it has no effect._ “Nothing.”

“Really.” 

_And again._ “Hmm…things I probably shouldn’t repeat.”

“You can repeat anything with me.”

The words hung between them for a minute before Marc felt himself shake his head nervously and take a breath. “Maybe later. Don’t want to fuck it up-“

“You won’t.”

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“I just mean because it’s more private…so we c-could talk? But…” _But please let’s mend this._ “But would you rather have a beer in my room?”

He watched like it was a dream as his teammate smiled, nodded, and got to his feet, starting over towards the lift and looking back to check he was following, both standing in nervous silence next to each other as the numbers clicked upwards towards Marc’s floor. _He said yes._

Dani let him walk out first and followed him down the corridor, nervous as hell and watching Marc portray the same, shaky fingers pulling his key card out his pocket and opening the door, until finally it was closed and they were in private. Staring at each other, wondering what to say, before Marc got _too_ nervous and jittered over to the mini bar, pulling out and opening two beers, passing one to Dani without looking at him and gulping almost half his own down as he stared at the ceiling. _This could take years. To even talk to each other like we did-_

“Marc?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t be nervous. It’s me.”

*

Livi: _I’m going to Cambodia (lol random) so I’ll be away when you get back. I think you might be glad of that? ;)_

Livi: _Also please please please please can I ride the Fireblade ??? *puppy dog eyes*_

*

_It’s me._ He swallowed, hard, and just about managed to turn and look at him again. _Hello, me._ “That’s why I’m nervous.”

“I know. Me too. I think that’s why you don’t have to be.”

Marc felt it suddenly start to crack as the plain truth of that started to sink in, still staring at each other, still half paralysed, and then found himself suddenly wrapped around him, head buried in his neck, breathing in that intoxicating mixture of Dani and Dani’s aftershave, feeling Dani’s fingertips digging into his back and letting his own trace up the back of his teammate’s neck and into his hair, the gesture accidental but saved in Dani’s brain as the pre-cursor to a kiss, as it was then, and as it was now. Chaste. Not sexual. Like he’d gone to work earlier that morning and popped home for lunch. It left them leaning against each other, forehead to forehead, eyes closed, Marc the first to make noise other than the sound of their breathing, a soft sniff as tears made it onto his cheeks and he held on a bit tighter, voice soft. “I’m sorry.” Another breath, Dani letting him talk and knowing there would be more. “I’m a motorbike racer, I’m 22 years old and I come from a small town in Catalunya called Cervera. And I’m bisexual.”

Dani let the words sink in, more than aware of what else he was saying with them, and pulled away enough to tilt his chin up and lock their gazes together. “I’m sorry.” He watched Marc’s eyes fill up again and knew his were doing the same. “And I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The older rider nodded slightly, wrapping him up in another hug, and then took a deep breath. “We need to talk about a lot.”

“Mmm.” Marc nodded into his neck and felt a shiver as the vibration hummed through his teammate’s skin. “I know.”

And then they relaxed back into it, head still nuzzled into Dani’s neck, and they stood there for about 10 minutes until the older rider pulled away again and took a deep breath, nerves popping and fizzing as soon as he had eye contact again.

“I’ll go and get my stuff from my room.”

*

Dani: _Oh cool! And yes. If you crash it though I will kill you_

Livi: _Can’t hear you over the exhaust!!! ;) jeje. I love you, Dani. I hope you’re smiling :)_

Dani: _We are_

*

Marc was in the shower when he got back, and Dani sat on the end of the bed and stared at himself for a few minutes, trying to take everything in, feeling happy, obviously, but more just incredibly relieved, feeling that hit him again as Marc reappeared, towel round his waist, the sheer beauty of it leaving him breathless, before he leaned into the touch as his teammate ruffled his hair and pressed a kiss into it on his way past. 

“Sleep?”

“Hmm. Sounds good.”

“You ok, babe?”

The word made Dani hang his head and feel his shoulders start to shake, nodding, resting his head on Marc’s shoulder as he kneeled in front of him and held onto him for a minute, joining in. “Relieved.”

“I know. I caused-”

“No you didn’t. Talk tomorrow.”

“Ok.” Marc’s hands clasped round his and pulled him to his feet, towel dropping to the floor, damp skin sticking to Dani’s clothes for a few minutes until he started to undo his buttons, left to do it, gently pulling the shirt off him and undoing his jeans, pulling them down, then socks, then fixing his eyes back on Dani’s as he hooked a finger into each side of his boxers and pulled them down; lacing their fingers together and pulling him into the bed, eyes of both now mostly dry and filled with that burning _something_ that wasn’t there with anyone else. Marc smiled across the pillow as his teammate’s fingers ran through his hair, lips finding each other again, kiss deeper, tongues teasing and exploring and reconnecting, fingertips digging in to pull them as close together as possible before they stopped, got their breath back, and shared one more before Marc turned off the light, snuggling down into Dani like he had the first time he ever had, relaxing completely and smiling as he heard the whisper.

“Like the first time we-“

“No. Different.”

“Hmm?”

“This is the first time I haven’t felt scared since I shut the door on you.”

He felt Dani nod at that, a few seconds of pause left in the air as the emotions hummed through him, and gave him a squeeze. “Very different.”

“I love you.”

_I know. But this time,_ “I love you too.”


	110. "Danielle and Marvin"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah overnight kudos boost..thank you! I think we're on course for 120 chapters ;) ♥

“Hey.”

Marc felt the word hit him straight in the chest as he woke up and realised who’d said it, warmth flooding through him as he managed to open his eyes and find them incredibly close to their opposite number, grabbing a handful of Dani’s hair and pressing their foreheads together. “It wasn’t a dream.”

_No, and I know the feeling._ “No. Not a dream.” He tilted his head down to find Marc’s lips with his and pulled him in, feeling the way he curved to fit, distant thought in the back of his brain realising he’d never had that before with a guy; he was always the smallest, and that had always seemed to mean he was the one who got surrounded, but Marc, although not much taller, just melted himself into him like he was his own personal moat. “Do you want to come to Geneva after the test.” He whispered it down and felt Marc nod. “And do you want to be my boyfriend?”

There was a slightly longer pause before the younger rider surfaced again and stared, hair ruffled and eyes still a bit bleary, smile growing and growing as Dani’s did. “Yes.”

*

_Holddddd up._ Santi froze and backtracked a couple of paces to check what he’d seen, peering through the palm tree and feeling himself smile. _Marc Marquez and Dani Pedrosa. Having breakfast. Smiling. Chatting. Laughing._ He rolled his eyes and smiled as Dani obviously said something funny and Marc pitched forward slightly, hand over his mouth, desperately trying not to spew cereal over the table in front of him, and Dani grabbed a handful of napkins and whacked them on his face. _Somehow, now I know, I’m not even surprised._ He took a deep breath, wondering how awkward this was going to be but knowing it would be far more awkward to sit 20 feet away and smile at them like a ~~cereal~~ serial killer, and then walked in, visibly.

“Morning.”

“Hiiiii.” No milk was freed from his mouth, and Santi took the chair his rider offered. “Ok?”

“Amazing.” Marc grinned at him and nodded, probably the most blissfully happy he’d ever seen him, eyes going through everything as they looked at each other. “Thank you.” He nodded slightly at Dani, still glowing and beaming. “First victory of the year.”

Santi watched as Dani blushed, so obviously knowing he knew, and then read the little tell-tale sign as the older rider’s hand disappeared under the table and he obviously squeezed Marc’s knee.

_Now I know, I’m not even surprised._

*

“Hey. I need to talk to you. In private?”

Emilio frowned at him and nodded, leaning past to shut the door and sitting back where he had been before, waiting, trying to figure out why Marc was a bundle of nerves. “You ok?”

“Really good.” 

_Wow. Ok, I believe you._ He studied the expression and then started to smile as he took a guess. “You’ve met someone.”

_That was a long time ago, but yeah._ He looked back and bit his lip, trying to stop himself grinning, and then gave up and nodded. “Yeah, could say that…”

“I’m happy for you. Who is she?”

His rider took a deep breath, one of his hands grabbing the other to stop them shaking, and then shrugged slightly. “You know them.”

“Right…”

“I’ve known them a long time. We both have.”

“Ok..?” _Why the game?!_

“They’re bit older than me…and I’m really worried what you’ll say.”

“Well you know I’m not going to judge as long as you’re happy. You’re worried what the public will think?”

“Maybe one day, but not now, no. Don’t want it public.”

“Oh. Ok…”

“Emilio?”

“Yes?”

“I’m bisexual.” He watched as his manager’s face rounded into a little ‘o’ and smiled at the flustering. _Yup._

“R-right…”

“And it’s a guy. So I guess one day I’ll be known as the gay one, since I don’t ever want to let him go. Again.”

_Awww. And OH MY GOD._ “O-ok.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.” He nodded and squeezed Marc’s hands. “Of course it’s ok. It’s just a surprise.”

“Yeah, know the feeling.” Marc grinned and started to relax as he got the same in return. _We’re doing ok. Now for the big bit…_ “Think I’m the only one in the paddock?”

“Probably.”

“So I’ll be the gay one…”

“Yup.”

“No.”

“Eh?”

“When this comes out, I won’t be the gay one. I’ll be one of them.” He watched the colour drain from his face and nodded as it started to click, allowing himself to take a deep breath and nod. “Yeah. Another rider.”

“Christ.” He sat back in his chair and let out a whoosh of air. “Right. Is he in Moto2? Moto3?”

_No, he’s with me._ “No.” He watched him implode slightly further and took the leap. “Repsol Honda…”

It took ten minutes of expletives before Marc eventually trusted him to not combust and left the room, phone buzzing in his pocket.

Dani: _Ok?_

Marc: _He went crazy in the best way. Jajajajaja :O :O Puig?_

Dani: _Don’t know…I texted him…_

Marc: _Jajajajaja :P you know you pay him, yeah?_

“Yeah I know, but don’t want to make life more difficult than it has to be.”

“Ooh! Hello. Thought you’d gone-“

“Nope. Thought I’d wait a bit longer, since the love of my life wasn’t ready yet.”

Marc stopped and looked at him, words completely perfect, feeling another few tons of relief rain down on him, and then risked a look over his shoulder before squeezing his hand and taking a deep breath, trying to find something to say before pulling him into a hug instead. “There’s no one watching this way.”

“No one this way either.”

_Then fuck everybody._ He pulled away and pressed their lips together, maybe that saying enough for the moment, and then broke away. “Right. Home. Geneva…”

“Home.” _One day, I hope it will be._

“And we need to talk about Livi. No…” He smiled at the face and shook his head. “I mean we need to fucking sort her out.”

_Ah._ “Hmm..”

“Hmm?” The younger rider nodded and smiled at a mechanic passing by and then looked back at Dani. “You not think?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

“And if I left you because you wanted kids and I wanted kids but we had to adopt them?”

“Yeah, I know. I did try and have this conversation with her-“

“Kids?!”

“No! Not with her. I just mean…if we want kids, we’re going to have to adopt them. Same as them.”

“Ah ok. Yeah and it’s not like we couldn’t have chosen differently, you know? We could go and have kids tomorrow with someone else-“

“Exactly.”

Marc looked at the look on his face and shook his head, nodding at the driver and scooting across the back seat to let Dani in. “Don’t you dare bring that up.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” They shared a little smile and then went back to quiet, Marc checking the driver’s sight line in the mirror and then winding their fingers together. “You know why…Danielle and Marvin…don’t have that problem?”

Dani started to giggle at that, of all the ways to have carried on hypothetically, _Danielle and Marvin_ not a particularly smooth one, and grimaced as Marc whacked him on the leg and started to giggle.

“You know who I mean.”

“Hmm.” _Calm, calm._ “I do.” He giggled again and then just about managed to stop, noticing the weird look from the driver. “Hmm. Because they don’t have the gender issue?”

“Nope. Because they know that _they made a decision._ Or hopefully they did…”

“Danielle told me she agrees with Marvin.”

“Great.” Marc giggled again and squeezed his hand. “That’s good then. What about Livi?”

“You think she thinks she knows better but she doesn’t.”

“I do. And I’m interested in Danielle’s opinion on this because she has a bit of an age gap with Marvin, too.”

“S-sorry.” Dani burst into giggles again and took his hand back to catch the giggle tears, Marc _jajajajaja_ -ing like it was his last, and finally they were crawling out the car into the reception of the hotel, so much tension built up over so long that they definitely seemed more drunk than not, and made it into the lift both trying to catch their breath, back to Marc’s room, suddenly slamming through the door in a tangle of limbs and tongues, Dani just about managing to gasp out a _Danielle will talk about it later_ before he was pinned down and felt his eyes roll back.

_Oh Marvin._


	111. Hiring and Firing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mindy title ;)
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH ♥
> 
> We've moved on a bit to the summer break 2015 :D

“Hi. I’m here to see-“

“MARC!” She waved at him from the bottom of the stairs and bounded over, loving the look on the receptionist’s face. _Jejeje yeah bitch, Marc Marquez._

“Hiiiii.” He grinned and pulled her into a hug, squeezing enough to get some retaliation and then grinned at her. “Lunch, m’lady?” He held his arm out and smiled as she took it, waiting as she leaned back over to the woman behind the desk and smiled. Slightly reptilian.

“If anyone calls me, tell them I’m in an important meeting, please.”

* 

Livi: _Funny story...thought I was going to get fired, yeah?_

Dani: _Yeti?_

Dani: _Oops soft Marc's driving! Mean 'yeah' ?_

Livi: _SOFT MARC. Oh my God jajajajajajajajja Did you mean 'sorry'? :D Didn't realise you were on a rally ;) I got promoted! And I was slightly drunk at the meeting 'cause I thought I was fired xD_

Dani: _Woe! Cool! What's the premonition?_

Livi: _I'm reading that as wow and what's the promotion, and a) thank you b) I'm now co-editor of the travel section! (Spanish) ...me and the Catalan editor rule the joint now, and I love her :D ...but...it means I'm moving back to Barcelona in a couple of months when it's all sorted, which is a bit sad :/ (so yes a bit of woe ;)) ♥_

Dani: _Congratulate! (Marc says so top!) ♥ bit awwww yeti some woe! :( I will moss you so much._

Dani: _I'm soft!_

Dani: SOFT

Livi: _Jajajajaja stop it I'm crying!!!_

Dani: _Cunt_

Livi: _Jajajajajaja 'can't'??_

Dani: _YETI_

Livi: _Dani it's actually making me cry with laughter, I will talk to you when you've 'landed'. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

*

“Food good?”

“Food gooood.”

“Good. And it’s on expenses. Because…I have cool news! Maybe not as cool as being the championship leader going into the summer break but still cool!”

“Ooh?”

“Ooh. Well…so I’m mostly in charge, yeah? But I also have a couple of accounts that are mine. And we got a new one yesterday…and I’m in charge of it…”

“Right…?”

“And it’s….drumroll please…” She grinned as he tapped out a rhythm on the table. “Lotus watches!”

“Really?!”

“Yup! So ok I’m not going to be wandering round the paddock but I figured they’d forgive Marc Marquez eating and drinking his way through their coffers?”

“I think they might. But you’d better be parading around the paddock!”

“What?”

“Don’t think you’re off the hook just because you aren’t going to give me children. I expect to see your face at least 3 races more this year, or I’ll-“

“And what about Dani?”

“Dani is cooking food right now-“

“Yeah but you-“

“No, what I mean is, Dani is in Catalunya and he is maybe burning down my house with my brother inside it, but he’s doing that because we’re having dinner tonight and I wanted to invite you. You want to come?”

“To dinner. A Pedrosa cooked dinner, when the last time I saw him-“

“Yes. A Pedrosa-cooked dinner. We might even let you have wine.”

She looked at him for a second and took a deep breath. “He’s really not-“

“He’s really the person whose idea it was and who knows how important you are to me, and to Livi. And in case you thought there might be trust issues, please remember _he lives with Livi._ ”

“He does.”

“He does. I came home…” He went a bit pink and smiled to himself as she caught the mistake and grinned. “I came back from the city to _Dani’s_ house when I was there and found him carrying her half naked up the stairs. It’s fine.”

“Ok…” She raised an eyebrow and smiled as that was enough to make him explain.

“Slightly drunk. Started to get undressed downstairs, I’m guessing because she was slightly drunk, and then broke her toe.”

“Ow! She never told me that!”

“It was only a little hairline fracture or whatever, but it’s fine. Honestly, it’s how it should be. We trust each other, and we would love you to come to dinner.”

“Then I would love to come to dinner.”

“Good.” He grinned at her and then raised his eyebrows as he lifted the wine bottle. “I’m driving, you’re _only_ working.”

“Pour it up, Mr Marquez, pour it up.”

“Have you ever been to Dani’s house?”

“Nope.”

“Ok well you should, and you should come before Livi moves out, which I guess she will at some point. Mainly because I would like to move in.” He grinned and nodded. “But it’s so funny, because it’s this big Swiss house with high ceilings and dark furniture and nice rugs and everything, and this solid, open plan kitchen, and then it’s Dani and Livi who live there. Neither of them can touch the floor with their feet when they’re sat on the big sofa. It’s like someone played a practical joke on some Hobbits.”

Maybe she spat a tiny but very ladylike amount of wine back into the glass. 

*

“Hi.”

“Hi!” Dani smiled as he opened the door and ushered her in, pulling her into a hug and squeezing again as he felt how hesitant she was. “Nice to see you.”

“You too. And you sure?”

“YES.” He smiled and kissed her on both cheeks before smiling as Marc buried his face in her neck and whirled her round. _And I beat that. That’s why it’s not even fine, it’s actually amazing to see him being the stable one for someone else._

Food was good, and the company was good, and Tito and Alex were equally smiley at the hot girl invited to the gay dinner, before they ended up watching a quiz show yelling the answers, Bea miles ahead and smug about it _maybe I’m not a World Champion but I have an education!_ was the line that made Dani smile, _true enough_ , before soon Alex and Tito were in bed, the older Marc VDS rider’s work and health schedule having bitten Alex a lot even since he was feeling better, and Bea was getting to her feet.

“Don’t wake him up.”

Dani looked down at him and then back up at her. “Sure?”

“Sure. I know my way out, and it’s too cute. _Actually…_ ” She pulled out her phone and took a picture, of both of them, and then of Marc’s zoned out little face on the cushion on Dani’s knee. “I’m tweeting the close up. Don’t warn him.” She winked at Dani and made it to the door before stopping as he spoke again.

“I won’t. But hang on; we were going to talk to you, actually.” He shoved his head into the crook of Marc’s neck and blew a raspberry, the younger rider waking up with a yelp and sitting bolt upright.

“Urgh!” He turned and glared at Dani before rubbing his face and yawning. “What did I miss?”

“A couple of strippers and a few lines of coke. Nothing much.”

The Repsol Honda riders laughed and then sat back into the sofa, Dani waving her back over and smiling as she slouched down next to Marc, mirroring them both.

“You want to talk to me?”

“Yeah. About Livi, now Alex has gone.”

“Ah, right. Ok…what do you want to know that you’ve not found out from the nightmare of living with her?”

Dani grinned at that and laughed slightly, remembering the _urgh no I would never live with Bea again!_ and smirking to himself. “Nothing like that. Just want to know if there’s anything else behind this whole thing.”

“Anything else?”

“Yeah. I mean…me and Marc both want kids, and now, because we’re together, we can’t do that normally. And it’s a shame, but we accept it has to be like that because of the situation. Why is it so different?”

“Well, the age…”

“I know. But…when does the risk become a problem? Maybe after 30?”

“Yeah I think so. She told me she was going to have the surgery once she’d turned 31.”

“Right. So, when she’s 31…Alex will be…hang on…”

“23.”

“Right, 23. Which is a bit young considering his job, but-“

“But not that insane.”

“Not that insane at all. So…”

“You know what?” She looked across again and rolled her eyes as Marc’s sleeping face was in the way in the middle. “He’s asleep again by the way. But, you know I’d never done that maths before, properly. It’s really not that crazy.”

“It’s not.”

“Plus, and I was about to say ‘this would never be true’ but I guess it is right now, but if they split up after 6, 7 years together, Alex has years to find someone else. What I mean is, say they were happy and got to her being 30, and then they didn’t actually want kids then, or Alex wasn’t ready or something. Why split up with him now? Because he’ll be 23, hardly like he’s going to run dry and not be able to have them with someone else. Plus, adoption.”

_Run dry._ “Exactly.”

“And she says she couldn’t wait until that might have come true because it would hurt too much but I can’t see it being worse than now. They weren’t exactly falling more in love every day, were they? More like ‘hello, I love you’.”

“Again, exactly. So…you not think there’s more to it?”

“Maybe.” She nodded and thought about it for a second before pulling herself to her feet again and shrugging down at him. “I’ll have a think. Because I thought, to be honest, she might have been right…but I changed my mind.”

“Really?”

“Yup. Because I think I know him better now and he means it. I don’t think he’s naïve at all, he just accepts it, and accepts her, and he’s still the same annoyingly mature person now even though he’s technically young, free and single.”

“Yup.”

“And in 4 years I can see him being a slightly scared but very good dad.”

“Me too. And Marc agrees.”

There was a murmur of some sort of recognition from the sleeping World Champion that made them both laugh at him slightly before Bea leant down and kissed him on the cheek. “Bye bye babychamp.” She ruffled his hair slightly as he murmured again and then kissed Dani on the cheek. “Bye bye babychamp’s baby daddy. I’ll try and find out more.”

*

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: New username, so y’all can stop asking now ;) :P Bea xxx

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: #SleeplessInCervera … or not so much. (notice the wet patch) jajajaja @marcmarquez93 #MM93

@marcmarquez93: @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Cruelty!

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @marcmarquez93 jajajaja #TeamAlex, I have no sympathy #horn @alexmarquez23

_Alex Marquez retweeted one of your tweets!_

@alexmarquez23: @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend @marcmarquez93 jaja normally I’m against animal cruelty but I’ll make an exception this time ;)

@marcmarquez93: Now hiring: new brother. Contact @14_HMartin for details on how to apply jaja

@14_HMartin: DM @marcmarquez93 it's been an hour and so far I have 1268 emails. You had better be proud of yourself

@marcmarquez93: DM @14_HMartin pay rise? :D

*

“Livi!” 

I walked in with my hand covering my eyes, mostly as a joke, slightly in fear. “Hello gays. Is it safe to look?”

“Yes!”

I opened my eyes and grinned before getting two brown-eyed hugs in succession and plonking myself down on the sofa. “Go to Kathmandu, they said. It will be exotic, they said.”

“Not exotic?”

“Quite exotic. Mountains were cool, literally, but the dust in the city was fucking ridiculous. Landing in Istanbul was like being thrown into an oxygen tank.” They laughed and sat down each side of me, one of those moments where I still had to pinch myself sometimes, and grinned. “I don’t know who to choose.”

“Pick me, pick me!” Marc grabbed me into a hug and then gave Dani a smug smirk as I collapsed onto his lap. “Jeje. You know one day we should probably fuck just to even things up.”

“Don’t even joke about it I am too tired to defend myself.”

“Pff. Pedrosa, coffee for the lady, please.”

“No. Bed for the lady. The lady needs bed.”

“Right.” I felt myself hoisted up off the sofa and opened my eyes to a grinning face. 

“Don’t drop me.”

He pretended to and laughed as I yelped, then made the point and ran up the whole staircase like I was a tiny baby and plonked me on my bed, shutting me into darkness with a bang of the door.

“Nooooo I need light!” I grinned to myself at the sigh and the sound of the switch being flicked. _Knew you were still there._ “Thanks.”

“Need a hand?”

“No.” I thought I’d carried on with the conversation and then woke up as someone pulled a shoe off. _Oh did I really just fall asleep._ I looked up and met Marc’s grinning face. “Are you taking advantage of me?”

He nodded and pulled the other one off. “Of course.”

“Marc don’t…think of my pride…”

“I think that’s more for you to think about.” He laughed to himself again and pulled off both socks before undoing my jeans and grabbing onto the ankles, yanking them off like he was in a tug of war _note to self if or when I will need to be undressed against my will again; don’t wear skinny jeans._ “Livi are those my boxer shorts?!”

“Hmm…maybe?”

“And you say I’m the household thief.”

“To be fair I thought they were Dani’s.”

“Whose drawer did you-“

“No, laundry. Remember? When I did _all_ your laundry like your mother-“

“Pfff! You offered.”

“Hmm.” I grumbled again, eyes closed again, and then held my stomach in as he sat on my legs and yanked my torso towards him. 

“Arms up.” I complied and then collapsed back down as he threw the t shirt onto the pile and stood back by the bed, his hands on his hips, and I closed my eyes again. “Stop breathing in, you look like you’re in pain.”

“Pride.”

“You’ve seen me fully naked and you-“

“Yes, I have. But you are a Greek God.”

He giggled to himself and I smiled as a kiss hit my forehead. “Nope. Thanks, but it’s my job to go to the gym. And, now might be a good time to tell you, I did see you naked once, by accident.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yup. And I like the new tattoo, and the new abs.”

“Get out of my room.”

“Yeah I think you can handle the rest.” I opened my eyes to see him head back over to the door and hover his hand over the light switch, grinning. “On or off?”

“Off now. Thanks.”

“No problem. Sleep well.”

*

_I should have worn work clothes. Will she even recognise me?_ She knocked on the door and held her breath until it actually started to become a problem, then smiled as wide as possible as the door opened.

“Hi.” _Remember me? I once set fire to your gazebo when I was an untattooed, unsmoking, unmake-upped, un-bleach blonded younger version of your daughter’s best friend._ “Re-“

“Beatriz?!”

“Hiii…”

“Hello! Lovely to see you.” She pulled her into a hug and then ushered her in. “Is everything ok with Olivia?”

“Yes, yes. She’s fine. Back from Kathmandu ok.”

“Oh lovely.” _My daughter has returned from Kathmandu. So apparently she went to Kathmandu._ “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Actually…” _Please don’t hate me, Livi._ “I wanted to talk to you. Or, see if you could help out. I don’t know how much you know…about everything…”

_Obviously not enough._ “Ok…”

“But we’re a bit puzzled by something and we think it might help. But you can’t tell her…”

“Ok. We? You and Alex?”

_She didn’t even tell you?!_ “Er…yeah, kind of.” _Sorry sorry sorry Livi I’m sorry._ “I’ll explain everything, but me, and Alex, and Dani and Marc, Alex’s brother. I’ll explain.”

“Ok. Now make yourself comfortable and I’ll make us a drink. Is tea ok?”


	112. "What Changes From One Rider To The Next Is The People Around Them"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the feedback! ♥ So appreciated!
> 
> And the title is from Rookie 93!
> 
> It's chapter 112...remember Alex? ;)
> 
> I was going to put a little Marvel style "Alex Marquez will return in..." in the last chapter but I thought that may cause assumptions...
> 
> Half interview with Marc and Alex, half Bea and Livi's mother talking.

Q: You and Marc recently went to Cambodia with Unicef. How was the trip?

MM: _We did! It was incredible. We always talked about doing something with a charity and we might think about doing something together in the future of our own but it was certainly a great experience. We went to a few orphanages and met the kids, which was great, and it’s always nice to do something like that away from the track both as a positive example, and to see the kids’ reactions. They didn’t know who we were but they seemed to like us!_

AM: _They definitely liked me the most._

*

Bea stared at her across the table and bit her lip. _Yup. A lot to take in. And we’re not at the end yet._

“And Olivia doesn’t know you’re here?”

“No. She doesn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I think there’s something I don’t know, and if she didn’t tell me before, she’s not going to tell me now.”

“I think you know a lot more than I do, dear.”

“Maybe, but…there’s more.” She looked at her face and nodded. _I know._ “How do you feel about Alex?”

“Her fiancé?”

“Yeah…”

“We had our reservations at first, but he seemed lovely. Wise for his age. And he obviously adores her, and I’ve never seen her so happy. I do hope you’re not going to tell me something bad about him-“

“No, I’m not. Definitely not.”

“Good. Are they having some problems?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh dear.”

“Hmm. They’re not together at the moment, actually.”

The older woman sighed sadly and then nodded. “She really hasn’t been keeping us in the loop has she?”

“No. Sorry. I think she’s been out the loop for quite a while. Trying to ignore things…”

“Is she ok?”

“You mean ‘is she depressed’? No. I’m not in her head so I can’t say for sure but she hasn’t said anything to me, or to Dani.”

“Dani?”

“I think Dani’s now her other best friend.” Bea pouted slightly and smiled. “I’ve been…maybe not replaced, but I have company.”

“Dani Pedrosa.”

“Yup.”

“Well then it seems I have a few apologies to make about things I said to her when she was a teenager!”

They both laughed slightly and Bea shrugged and smiled. “Yeah, I know. Funny how it’s turned out.”

“But that’s a good thing?”

“Dani in her life? Definitely. I’m not sure how we coped when it was us against the world, anymore. Certainly I’m a bit of a fuck up when I can’t call Marc and talk to him.” _Oops. Language._ She smiled at the amused but disapproving face looking back at her. “Sorry. But yeah, Dani is a very good thing. Dani has kept her afloat after everything, and they are adorable in their big Swiss house with it’s posh furniture that’s a lot taller than them.” 

“So that’s why she’s living in Geneva?”

“Yup. She lives with Dani. Marc lives with Alex now. At the moment, anyway.”

“At the moment? Are you thinking of moving in together?”

“Me and Marc aren’t a couple!”

“Beatriz I’ve known you a long time-“

“I know, I know. He’s very important to me and he’s very attractive. But we’re not couple material. Just friends, although I don’t know why you have to say ‘just’ as though that’s worse. He’s in a relationship, anyway. He’s the one moving out soon, I imagine.”

“Hmm. I agree. And I see. So what happened with Olivia and Alex? He didn’t cheat on-”

_Wow. Ok. This is easier than I thought._ “No, he didn’t. He didn’t do anything wrong. It’s Livi.” She watched the frown appear and nodded. “They split up arguing about children.”

“Children.”

“Yeah. Because they have quite a big age gap, and Livi can’t really wait around after she’s 30 to have children-“

“And he says he won’t be ready.”

“Nope.” _Yeah, I know._ She took in the frown and nodded. “She says he won’t be ready and that he’s too young, and she won’t take the opportunity away from him, so she left.”

*

Q: Did you get them involved in anything with bikes?

AM: _Not really, sadly…although we had some races with them with the remote control ones. A lot of fun! And really rewarding. Very sad, once you leave and you realise that they aren’t there for a few hours, they’re there until someone goes and says ‘I want to adopt you’. But no one can solve it on their own; and doing something small and positive is a good thing, at least._

MM: _Exactly. I think when you come from a family like we have it’s hard to think about, but it’s certainly given us a lot to think about._

*

There was a sharp intake of breath from across the table before she spoke again. “Ah. I understand. What do you think?”

“I thought she was right, now I know she’s wrong. Alex would probably be 22 or 23 by the time the time comes, and he’d already be good at it. I think someone made a mistake with their birth certificates or something because Marc acts like the younger one most of the time.”

“Well we all know someone like that.” She smiled at her and raised her eyebrows. “Don’t we?”

Bea laughed and nodded. “Yes Ms Alvarez, we definitely do.” _Ouch but fair enough. Maybe neither of us changed._

“So Olivia left him.”

“Yeah.”

“I wish she’d let us in a bit more; this is all a lot to find out. Although I guess it’s understandable.”

“Understandable?”

“Yes.” She frowned slightly and nodded, puzzled. “After what happened with me?”

_I think that’s a bingo._ “You?”

*

Q: Would you ever consider adopting?

MM: _Yes, definitely._

AM: _Me too. I think who raises you is the important part, not where you come from._

Q: So your Marquez genes might not be passed on?

MM: _Maybe not! Who knows. But what changes from one rider to the next is the people around them. I don’t think it’s about your genes, it’s about who you are._

AM: _Exactly. We have our mum and dad to thank for a lot, but I don’t think their genes are the important part. I think the important thing is after that, and I’d just hope I’d do as good a job as they did, and be as important to my kids as they are to us._

*

“What happened with you? If I can ask?”

“You know, Beatriz. Me and Olivia.”

“I don’t think I do.”

“I’m sure you must. Me and Olivia’s father?”

“Adrián? He’s older than-“

_She doesn’t know._ Laura took in a pointed breath and shook her head, eyes widened slightly, that all that was needed for Bea to fall quiet. “Adrián isn’t Olivia’s father genetically. I thought you knew?!”

*

Q: That sounds like you’ve given it some thought! Anything to announce?

MM: _NO! [jajajaja.] I’m definitely not ready for that, yet!_

Q: Alex?

AM: _Nothing to announce, but we’ve talked about it. Maybe in a few years! I always imagined having kids after I retired, but I’ve had to rethink that since I met Olivia, since she’s a few years older than me._

Q: 8 years.

AM: _Yup! Which sounds like a lot, but I don’t think we noticed. Maybe in a few years it will be obvious that I was a kid, but who knows? It works, and I love her more than I thought possible._

Q: So watch out any aspiring champions of the future, they’ll have Marquez competition?

AM: _Jaja, maybe! All I know is that if you enjoy something, you should do it, and you should encourage your kids to do what they love. So we’ll have to see if they like it, first!_

Q: Any wedding plans?

AM: _Not yet. We’re not in a rush to get married. That’s more a formality for us, I think. We have a long time to try and sort everything out; what matters is being together._

*

I read it reasonably calmly; until I got to that point. Then I was suddenly right back in our bedroom in Cervera watching him beg, and playing myself an endlessly painful reel of the moments in which he'd proved, over and over again, quite how much he meant that.

Livi: _Why did you send me that?_

Marc: _Because you have to read it_

Livi: _I should never have read it_

Alex: _That's why I said it._

I stared at that, just about quiet, and then let go again and dialled the only other person I could.

"It's me."

_"I know. What happened? You sound upset."_

"I r-read the interview Marc and A...A-Alex did. Where are y-you?"

_"I'm on the way home already if you want me to be."_

"S-sorry Dani I-"

_"No sorry. We've already paid the bill. There's popcorn in the cupboard and I remembered to change the card details on Netflix..."_

I nodded to myself, realised he couldn't see me, and then managed a quick goodbye and thank you before wailing again. _What happened to the German girl, baby? What happened to 'yeah he's doing a lot better'?_ I sobbed for a few minutes and realised the irony as I took a few shaky breaths before leaning back on the sofa and staring at the ceiling. 

_What happened to 'I'm doing a lot better?'_

"Hey. I'm here."

I stared at the rug for another few seconds, zoned out, before I realised he'd actually said it from next to me, not down a phone or in my mind, and let myself get pulled into a hug, his pristine white t shirt suddenly smeared with red and black make up. _I must owe you a lot in washing. And everything._

*

"What?!"

"I think she was about 6 months old when I met her father - her father now, I mean. He adopted her as his, and that's the way it's always been. But he's not 'technically' her father. I'm surprised she never told you."

"She never told me." _Holy fucking shit._ "How did she never tell me?! When did you tell her?!"

"We told her when she was very little. We never hid it. She always knew that Adrián was her dad but not her father, if you know what I mean, and it's never been a problem, I don't think. There's nothing different in their relationship than any other between a father and daughter. I think she probably just grew up with it being a normal thing to her, and never 'told' anybody. Sitting people down and telling them things can make things seem bigger than they are."

"I guess that's true enough." Bea nodded at that, staring absently at the table, and then looked back at her. "So there's no father issues-"

"No father issues between them. You know our family. We're not perfect, but certainly...Livi and her dad aren't incredibly close, but they have something very special. I think it's about me."

_Please don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me._ "Ok..."

"I was a bit older than her father. We decided to have a baby earlier than we'd planned because we were both very excited about the idea of starting a family."

"How old was he?"

"21."

"How old were you?"

"28."

"How did it go wrong?"

She paused at that and sighed, looking down at the table for a few seconds before taking a breath and talking again, voice a bit softer. "We got it wrong. We just got it very, very wrong."

"He left you."

"Not really. We realised the mistake, I knew we'd never be able to make it work if we stayed together, and I told him he should leave before she was born and go and do what he wanted."

"And he did."

"He did."

"You blame him?"

"No. We made a mistake, and I had a lot of support from my parents and a good job that let me take some time off. It was never him running off; I think we made a good decision. And then I met Adrián, and I got it right."

"Right..."

"I mean...it's like I always told Livi when she was growing up: _don't expect people to give up their dreams for yours_."

Bea closed her eyes for a second at that, words sinking in accompanied by a lot of emotions she would rather have violently displayed, hands rubbing over her face slightly and trying to not just stand up and start yelling. _Oh, well done. What great encouragement for the best person I know._

"Fucking hell. I'm going for a cigarette."

She looked at the expression and shrugged. _Yeah, judge me. Fuck you._


	113. Espero que no esperes que te espere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is lyrics from 'No' by Shakira and Gustavo Cerati ♥

Bea: _I'm coming back and I need a fucking beer._

Marc: _Can be arranged ;) Useful visit?_

Bea: _I'll tell you when I get there because if I do it now I might kill people_

Bea: _And enjoy it_

Marc: _Should we put our helmets on? :/!!!_

*

“Ok well…I don’t know what to do. So, now we know the problem, but what do we actually do? Do we tell her we know? Do we tell Alex?”

“I think we tell Alex. Livi I don’t know about.”

“Hmm. Me too. I mean, we’ll have to eventually. I don’t know if her mother will tell her…I was nice and then I think I got rude because I got mad.”

“Well…I can’t imagine it’s something she’s going to want to talk about with her to be honest, so I think we might be safe. I mean…you didn’t break anything, did you?”

“No I did not break anything.” She rolled her eyes and poked him across the table. “That’s your job.” 

“Pff!”

“Ow! Did you just kick me?!”

“Hmm…maybe a bit?”

“Bastard.” She grinned and retaliated before rolling her eyes and leaning down to rest her forehead against the table. “ARGGHHH. Why would you do that? What a stupid fucking thing-“

“Sorry! I didn’t-“

“Not you, you idiot. Livi’s mum.”

“Oh.”

“Aww poor baby. It didn’t hurt, don’t worry.” She squeezed his hand over the table and then sighed again. “Ok. So we tell Alex. Everyone agree?”

Marc nodded.

“Dani?”

The older rider sat up and raised his eyebrows, faint smile. “Oh, sorry! I’m part of this conversation am I-OW!”

They looked at each other and grinned. “Yes. You are. Tell Alex?”

“Pff. But yes, I think so?”

“Yup. Ok….back in a minute!”

“Where are you going?”

“Marc VDS…?”

“Don’t you have a phone?”

“Yeah but it’s only just-“

“Yeah and last time how long did it take you to-“

“Ok, fine! Fine.” Marc rolled his eyes and typed out the text before yawning and stretching back in the chair, then flailing and swearing before an arm from each side grabbed him and hauled him back down to Earth, Dani and Bea sharing a look. 

“Thank you…”

“Idiot. If you fall off that and crack your head open I’m not cleaning it up.”

“Me neither.”

*

“Hiii…” The younger brother walked in and frowned at the three sat at the table. “Are we invading a country or something?”

“Not right now but we could?”

“Maybe later.” He took the offered beer and sat down in the available chair. “So…?”

“So…I went to Livi’s parents’ house.”

“Right.”

_You hide it so well, but every time we mention her it’s like the clouds going over your vision are really there._ “And I think I figured out the problem.” She took a deep breath, checked with Marc and Dani in a little silent conversation that she should be the one to say it, and then hit go. And watched him listen, interested, and then his eyes start to well up, before he slammed his fist into the table and stalked out.

*

Alex: _I’ve never done this. I’ve never pestered you or begged, because I know it won’t help. And I’m not trying to do that now, but I’m having a really bad night, and I to tell you something. It is not easier. I don’t miss you less. I don’t think about anything except you and racing. I’ve slept with other people and I don’t feel anything. Sometimes I laugh. I’ve cried a lot. And I worry, every single second, where you are and what you’re doing and if you’re ok. And that’s not going to go away. We’ve been apart now longer than we were together, and I still sit there playing Fifa waiting for you to appear and give me shit for making Zenit St Petersburg play like Pep Guardiola would tell them to. And you don’t appear, and I remember again, and I just stare at the wall and wonder why. And now, I know why. So if you thought I was going to give up at any point soon, you were wrong. And after what I just found out, if you think I’m ever, ever going to give up on you, then you’re a complete fucking idiot. I love you, I’m going to marry you, and I’m going to be the coolest dad in the paddock and never, ever let Marc look after our children unless Dani is also there ;) So maybe I meant I’m having a good night, because I’m even surer of winning now, but I just feel how far away you are, and how you won’t let me say this to your face, but I know why, and I’m going to wait it out if that’s what it takes. Because that’s my dream. You, and me, and two(?) children who we teach the important things in life. Because I got that, and you didn’t, and we need to put that right with ours. And if you don’t realise that we have that same dream, and that I want to start it as soon as we can, and that I love you completely, and you think my career is more important, then I’m going to retire. And I’m going to stand on the podium in my last race, and I’m going to tell everyone why. And then I’m going to start travelling more, and probably work for Marc doing something, and buy a house somewhere near where we lived, and I’m going to sit there, and I’m going to wait._

*

Livi: _What did you tell him?_

Bea: _What?_

Livi: _What did you tell Alex?_

Bea: _Not seen him after lunch?! Ok?_

Livi: _Somebody told him something and I think I know what and I can’t believe you’ve done this_

Livi: _Yes I just called my parents. I told you, all of you, to just fucking let it go and help him move on._

Bea: _Once you told me to snort pepper. You’ve been wrong before and you’re wrong now_

Livi: _I really don’t want to talk to you right now. I trusted you._

Bea: _You should trust me and not that fucked up stuff you’ve decided somehow matters. You know that’s the irony right? You don’t want to take away his dreams? That’s what you’re doing right now. So why are you living half a life like you actually give a shit like she is? Really? You like your job. I love my job. I am over Marc. You will never be over Alex. I’ve watched you put yourself second best for too fucking long and I’m absolutely done with it. There’s always a reason why you don’t want to hear it, and sometimes a reason why you shouldn’t. But I don’t think there’s that reason, now. You need a fucking slap, because you’re the most incredible person in the world. You met your hero and you’re his now, too. He’s got what he wants because you were there. Same with Marc. You’re amazing. And I’m sorry your parents didn’t tell you that and didn’t make you invest in yourself. And I’m sorry Jordi was a cunt and made you hear it all again, but what you have now… you have Alex, and you’re supposed to fucking recognise second chances when they appear, Livi. This is your second chance, if you actually decide it is, to see that all that shit they taught you is bullshit. And you’re more than smart enough to see that, and to know what you’re doing, and you’re too scared by everything. And ok, you’ve been through quite a lot of stuff, but it’s up to you. Are you going to give up, or are you going to come over here and get back in the fucking box, two broken ankles or a broken collarbone or anything else, and at least fucking try? I’ve listened to your promises and pep talks so many times and I’ve always assumed you actually meant it, but maybe you’re not what you think. Maybe you should change your rider. Because I’m sat next to that someone who was told for years he’d never make it here, and he’s one of the most successful riders of all time, with some of the worst luck. And he’s still here. Where are you, Livi? Are you going to bother?_

*

"No reply?"

"Still not."

"Worried?"

"More and more. It's been hours now."

"Any idea where she'd be?"

"No. Not now...I mean, when she runs, she runs to, like...Brasil. Once Canada. You know...needle in a haystack...miles away..."

"Hmm."

"Do you think I was too harsh?"

"Maybe a bit?" Marc.

"Hmm..." Dani.

"No, I don't think so." Alex. "And does anyone think asking me if I might know where she is would be a good idea?"

They turned back to him in unison and Bea sighed and nodded slightly, apologetic, the 'Bea and Marc sort the plan and then Dani has the veto vote' attitude still prevalent. "Sorry...any idea?"

"Yeah, actually." He nodded and got up from the step he was sitting on, walking back over to the table and trying to stifle a yawn. "She'll either be sat outside Santa Maria del Mar, or..." He stopped and smiled down as his phone started to ring, voice going slightly softer and holding it up for them to see. "...I'll get a phone call from the other option."


	114. North of Sabadell, East of Cervera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because if you want sense...you have to go and find it. Right? ;) 
> 
> Thanks so much guys! ♥

“Who is…” Marc trailed off as his brother trailed off and put it on speaker, eyes lighting up and locking their gazes across the table, them knowing the voice too well, Bea and Dani thinking maybe but not sure, and the brothers, more than anything, knowing what that meant.

“Livi just turned up.”

_“She did. How did you know, sweetheart?”_

Alex blushed slightly at the overly motherly tone, cringing at Bea and Dani, and then shrugged to himself. “Just a guess. Is she ok?”

_“Not too bad. No tears. I’m just making her a tea.”_

“Remember the milk. Love you mum. Thank you.”

_“You too. And I will! Not going to give me any advice?”_

“No.” He grinned at his brother and shook his head. “No need…”

_“I’ll remember you said that you know, boys. I’m guessing I’m on speakerphone?”_

“Er…yeah…how did you know?”

_“Marc’s not as quiet as he thinks.”_

Alex laughed to himself slightly and nodded, Dani and Bea joining in, older Marquez proving the point with a huff. “True. Ok…talk soon?”

_“I’ll try.”_

*

“Sorr-“

“Olivia, please stop apologising. You know you’re welcome here any time.”

“Even after-“

“Even after anything at all.”

_Thank you._ I nodded and let out a long whoosh of breath, kind of forgetting that the person who was making me nervous was looking at me from straight across the table. _Smooth._ “Do you know-“

“Yes. Alex forwarded me the messages because he wanted to know what I thought.”

“Right.” I went slightly pink, caught between _what a mummy’s boy sweetheart_ and _people and my privacy, dammit._ And then did the whoosh breath again.

“You don’t have to be nervous. At least, not like the boys sometimes do…” She gave me a knowing smile that got wider and wider as she watched me relax, and then reached out and squeezed my hands. “You know everyone’s already in Silverst-“

“Yeah.”

“So you want to talk to me?”

I took another breath and then nodded, biting my lip slightly and then getting surrounded in a patented Mama Roser hug and feeling myself cling on. “Y-yeah.”

*

“Can I steal a cigarette?”

She looked sideways at him and narrowed her eyes. “Got any ID?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and held up his middle finger. “Lots.”

“Pfff. Fine.” She passed him one and then watched him light it without fucking it up. _You are a terrible influence, Olivia._ “Sorry I keep forgetting you’re not really the baby.”

“Finally someone remembered!” He smiled and linked their arms together so they could huddle against the chill a bit better, a few seconds of comfortable silence ending in a satisfied sigh. “I really cannot wait to have her back. I kind of thought she’d make it to maybe April or May?”

“You’re really sure your mum’s going to-“

“I’m really sure.” He blew some smoke away from them and shivered as she flicked her cigarette away, before they both turned to each other and he opened his coat. “Dive in.”

“Thought you’d never ask.” She grinned up at him before snuggling in and then starting to giggle as she saw who was coming. “Ooh it’s your turn to play Spank the Jackass!”

“Urgh God. Really?”

“Really. Hold me tenderly, Bambi. Really sell it.”

He rested his chin on the top of her head and wound his arms round her, timing the _we’ve got to stop this, Bea. Someone will figure it out_ perfectly and watching his former nemesis falter in his step _Jejeje._

“But Alex I love you, we can’t ignore that.”

“I know.” He pulled away slightly and stared down into her eyes, brushing some hair from her face and hoping Jack was far enough away to be unable to see the very badly hidden giggle on both of their faces. “I love you too, but we said this was only going to be a one time thing…”

“But the things you do to me. No one has ever touched me like you have. Not even Maverick.”

_Argh don’t laugh. DO NOT LAUGH._ “I’m sorry. I know. I’ve never made love to anyone like you before…” He watched Bea bite her lip trying to stop laughing and then make it into a dramatic sob and bury her face in his chest instead, Jack finding that the final straw and almost sprinting off. _Oh God. But jaja. But ARGH._ “Ok he’s gone.”

“I’m impressed, you did well.”

“Thank you.” He grinned at her and then flicked the cigarette away. “But yeah…I’m really sure. I knew either she’d see sense anyway, or there must be something else.”

“You weren’t tempted to stalk her?”

“Well, yeah.” He smiled and gave her a squeeze before starting to walk them back inside, kicking the door back open and then releasing her from the coat like a magic trick. “But that didn’t really work when Jordi tried it…”

“Hmm but you’re not a violent prick. And you’re way prettier…”

“Thanks.” He smiled and blew her a kiss before sitting back where he had been before and sighing, checking his phone again. “I know.”

_So sure. Like you’re just waiting for her to get back from lunch or something._ “It’s like talking to Marc.”

“Fuck off.” He grinned and looked up again in time to see Dani’s ruffled head pop round the bedroom door, squinting into the light.

“Guys. We’re asleep.”

_“Trying to be!”_

“Yeah, trying to be.”

“Sorry.” Alex gave him an ‘eek’ face and got back to his feet, turning to Bea. “I should probably go. Want to sleep here or with me?”

_“Rephrase!”_ The sound of a Marc _jajaja_ echoing from behind him in the bedroom made Dani scowl at the floor, still hovering there, more and more awkward since he was still completely naked just out of shot. _Please don't notice..._ “You know, I might go and sleep outside…”

_“Aww baby come back to bed! Your ass looks way too delicious-“_

“OK I’M GOING.” Alex cringed and watched Dani’s hovering face turn equally pink, turning back to Bea and widening his eyes. “Beatriz I think you should probably come with me.”

“I agree.”

_“I AGREE! Come back to bed, baby. Pleeeaasseee…?”_

“Ok, goodnight.” _Yes please please please leave-_ Dani smiled at the two exiting pairs of rolling eyes and then closed the door and rested his forehead on the back of it. “Do you have to be so-“

“Yes because now we have the place to ourselves.” 

“Oh. I thought-“ He trailed off as a warm body suddenly pressed him to the door, lips pressed against his ear, everything on fire in a heartbeat. _I love you._

“No. I’m not tired. Not too tired for you.” Marc wandered his lips down his teammate’s neck and over his shoulder, hands clasping around his stomach and letting his head come to rest next to his. “Ever.”

“Hmm well that’s good to know.” Dani leant back into him and wound their fingers together, both sighing contentedly as Marc started to move them back towards the bed, willing but clumsy, until they were both side by side again over the pillow. “Funnily enough I feel the same.”

“Useful.” The word almost got lost as Marc pulled him in, continuing the path of kisses further over his torso and then finally capturing his mouth again, words coming out in gasps in between. “Because I don’t want to waste a second asleep.”

_Me neither and that’s why-_ “Stop.” _Maybe this isn’t the best moment. The most random moment._

The younger rider did, frowning, smile playing at the corner of his mouth as Dani’s hands ran down his back, tilting his head slightly at the expression on his face. “Ok?”

“No.” He smiled and ran his fingers through Marc’s hair for a second, pressing a kiss on his forehead, taking in the little details, eyes wandering and being allowed to, before he pulled him in a bit closer, pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. “We didn’t really talk about it but I’m guessing you’re going to move in with me.”

There was a soft laugh and a nod before lips pressed gently against his again. “That was what I was thinking. I’ve no idea how we’ll explain it to-“

“We’ll figure something out.”

_You stopped me to say that?_ “I hope so.”

“Me too.” There was a little pause before he traced his finger down Marc’s cheek and watched his eyes flutter open. _Wow. Every time, like the first time, like the 49th time, like an hour ago. Every time._ “I need to ask you something, though.”

_Holy fuck-_ “Right…” _Surely not-_

“At some point, how would you feel about going public?”

_Oh._ His heart rate started to return to normal as the words filtered through, before amping up again as he realised what he’d _actually said._ “You would do that?”

“Wait…you thought I might not do that?!”

“Yeah…?!”

“Oh. Well…I didn’t think you would?!”

“I would. Will.” The younger rider smiled into a kiss and gave his ass a squeeze. “Not yet though. But this is more important than anything else.”

“No, not yet. And I agree.”

“Good. You really stopped me then to ask me a hypothetical question, Pedrosa. Pff-“

“Actually there was something else.” He watched Marc pull away again slightly and frown in slow motion, before watching him somehow pre-empt the words, eyes lighting up and lips crashing together in a little passionate tsunami as he said it, and Marc replied.

_Will you marry me?_

*

_God I’ve been talking for a year. Maybe longer. Maybe she didn’t go to the bathroom, maybe she just walked out into the street and will never return. Poor woman._ I rubbed my hands over my face and sighed, considering going for a smoke and then wondering if that was rude, before I actually felt myself growl slightly and push myself to my feet. _No, it’s not rude. It’s not rude, it’s normal, if that’s what I want to do. And she has gone to the bathroom, and she’s not bored with you, and she would never just wander off because NEITHER WILL HE._ I took a deep breath and tried to hammer it home again before heading for the door and then stopping as she came back in. “Going for a smoke.”

“Ok.” She nodded and smiled and held up my cup. “Another drink?”

“No, thanks. Otherwise I won’t even make it past Tarregà before I need the toilet.”

“Livi. I think we’re making good progress, but be realistic.” She raised an eyebrow and smiled at me again as she obviously saw the same slight refreshment in confidence that I felt. “No member of my family is driving back to Barcelona at this time of night when there are 2 spare beds and 2 sofas. So don’t even think about it.” 

“But-“

“But?”

“But…” _Dammit I’m going to have to live my life under this rule._ “Nothing…”

“Good. Go and smoke.”

And I did, and I smiled, and I wrapped myself in the old hoodie she’d stolen from Alex’s room, and I let every little snippet of memory from it and the garden and the house hit me, from Brno and Vienna and the party and the second party and Colombia and moving into our house, leaving, Geneva, Dani, Marc and Dani, Jordi, the Mossos D’Esquadra, kicking him in the balls, seeing him on the street earlier the same night and feeling nothing except smug that I was free, something clicking and making me smile back at him, betrayal and frustration at Bea's message fading as his shocked face stared at me before a smile, then watching that fade as I made a great show of getting back on my bike, Pedrosa-trained me who actually seemed to look good poured into leathers, pulling on my helmet and checking the mirror to see his face before starting the engine and giving it a few more revs and a bit more clutch than necessary. It took me 20 minutes to realise where I was even headed before I was sat on another pavement having another cigarette staring at a different view, north of Sabadell and east of Cervera, one Dani had stared at a lot as a kid and had shared with me, people definitely thinking I was crazy sat there laughing to myself and crying to myself and ending with a _Pedrosista a la muerte_ that gained a few smiles but a few more frowns. I got back on and headed back past the incredible views of Montserrat until I was riding past the 93s and 12s of the flags in Cervera and knocking on the door, nervous, needy, and maybe a bit pathetic, most of which vanished as soon as she opened the door, eyes finding mine so wonderfully familiar.

_Hi other mum, it's me._

*

Alex: _Night. I hope she didn't let you ride home. ;) xxx_

I read it a few times, caught between complete adoration and abject terror at waking up feeling different and finding myself running away again, before pathetically spraying a little bit more aftershave on the sheets and burying my face in them.

Livi: _I don't remember how we fitted in this single bed. ♥_


	115. Waking Up Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks!! ♥

“I’m sorry I don’t have a ring-“

“Shut up.” Marc bit his lip to cut him off and pinned his teammate’s wrists to the mattress, staring down, some hair plastered to his sheeny forehead already, eyes burning into his. “Are you serious?”

“Yes. I don’t ever want anyone el-”

“Me neither. Yes. Yes yes yes…” He punctuated each of the many replies with a kiss and then grinned down again. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“So….when?”

Dani smiled up at him, running his fingers through his hair, and then let the other hand squeeze his ass. _Lying on top of me so I mostly can’t breathe, painfully hard, and you’re still grinning down at me with the best childish excitement in the world._ “Today? Next week? Next year? I don’t mind. How do you want to do it-“

“Me, you, parents. Alex, Livi. Bea. Tito, some guys from Cervera. Santi and Emilio. That’s my guest list. Which won’t change even if we tell the world tomorrow.”

“I guess that might be a problem. The details getting out, someone selling us out…”

“Maybe. Or maybe just for the best and we don’t even have to announce it. We’re going ring shopping in London on Monday.”

“Oh, are we?” 

“YES.” The younger rider grinned down and nodded. “Because not many people will know who we are. If we take Alex and Livi and Bea then it won’t raise any eyebrows.”

“Livi.”

“Livi. You know…your housemate and partner in crime? Kind of short but adorable. Like someone else I know…”

“You think this is going to be sorted by Monday?”

“You mean, ridiculous to think you could just ask someone you’ve not talked to in months if they wanted a beer and curl up with them an hour later and wake up happier than you’ve ever been?”

“Good point.” The older rider bucked his hips and smiled as Marc squirmed, remembering the possibility of friction. “But it wasn’t fixed-“

“No, it wasn’t fixed. Then we fixed it, and now we’re getting married.”

“Another good point…”

“I know.” Marc pressed his lips against his ear and dropped his voice to a low whisper. “I’m _full_ of them.” He smiled to himself as Dani whimpered slightly as his nipped his earlobe and then signalled the end of the conversation with a chaste kiss, before straddling him properly, guiltily noticing how he almost seemed to grow like a self-inflating little mattress, wondering how much air he’d done without during that conversation, and then grinned as he was suddenly the one pinned down, kisses raining over him until he grabbed a handful of sheet in each hand and groaned as the hot, wet bliss of Dani’s mouth swallowed him down. And it must have been pretty loud because an amused face popped back up and smiled at him, eyebrows raised, quick _sshh!_ , before he found his mouth full of something to gag him and started to laugh and growl in equal measure as he realised what it was and felt a tongue circle his tip. “D-ni you c-nt GAG me wth a DIL-do.”

“Yes, I can. Ok?” He watched him nod and bit his lip at the _vision_ staring back at him, which was really the only word for it, and then sucked a line of bruises down his fiancé’s neck as his lubed finger teased him for a few seconds, Marc writhing around and definitely in need of the gag, even more so as Dani pushed inside, then added another, hand steadying himself on the mattress as he found his prostate and the younger rider’s hips bucked before his fingernails dug in to Dani’s back and pulled him closer. 

“Ksss.”

“Kiss?”

His teammate nodded and tried to spit it out before going slack again as Dani added another finger and bent his mouth down to hover over his, biting the toy and throwing it onto the bed next to them with his mouth, before pressing their lips together again and replacing his fingers with enough teasing pressure from his tip. Rough fingers immediately dug into his ass and pulled him in, both groaning and panting at each other before Dani sunk his teeth into Marc’s neck and started to move. 

“ _Shhhh!!!!!_ ”

*

“Morning!” 

I smiled and yawned slightly as I walked in, smiling again even wider as a cup of coffee was put in front of me. “Morning. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. Sleep ok?”

I nodded and smiled again as I blew over the top of the coffee and then took a sip, raising my eyebrows at the amused face looking back at me, trying to pretend I was happy to have had to get up. “What?”

“Nothing. Just nice to have you back. How you should be, slightly grumpy in the morning. And wearing that t shirt that I was almost tempted to throw away!”

I looked down at the pretty battered but very comfy and soft shirt and widened my eyes. _Have me back? Yes, please. Unless it’s ruined._ “You can’t throw away a t shirt like this!”

“Raise your right arm…”

I did.

“That’s one of 5 holes. I counted.”

“Yeah but it’s our…” _Ah._ “Er…”

“I do overhear things, you know.” She put some toast in front of me and smiled at my blush. “That’s the t shirt you can both fit into. I know.”

“Please don’t embarrass me!”

“That’s my job.” She grinned again and then bit the corner of her toast off and smiled as I did the same, still watching, still enjoying me squirming. “So would you like me to follow you home in my car and drop you at the airport?”

*

“You know what’s funny.” Bea held up her phone and smiled at Marc’s expectant face across the table. “Since I changed my username and everyone knows I’m not _yours_ , everyone I follow realised they can DM me.”

“Oh dear…” Marc started to grin back across the table and grinned his thanks as Dani planted an orange juice in front of him. “Riders?”

“Yup. Best one so far this morning…any guesses?”

“I really don’t want to.”

“Andrea Iannone. I had to translate it but it was very complimentary.”

“Nooooo! Stay away from Italians.” He grinned and widened his eyes. “Especially that one!”

“Jeje. I know. No one’s being a creep or anything, it’s just funny.” She opened the app again and grinned as another one appeared, and then dropped the phone on the table with a gleeful scream.

“What?!” 

Nothing.

“BEA!”

She stared between them alternately before taking a deep, theatrical breath and starting to do a weird little dance, both Repsol Honda riders laughing before Marc figured it out and dropped his spoon.

“Oh, no. No, no, no, no….please don’t tell me-“

*

Livi: _Hi. Finished for the day?_

Dani: _Just about…?? :)_

Livi: _Good because I’m trying to convince the security dude to let me in and he’s not convinced I’m not trying to kill you all._

Dani: _Jaja neither am I ;) Alex is busy for another hour or so but me and Marc will come and get you. Will that convince him? ;)_

Livi: _I think it might ;) :D thank you!_

I narrowed my eyes at him again and reiterated my promise/threat of being rescued by ‘someone from Repsol Honda’, him still thinking I was insane, and then lit a cigarette to wait, shivering in the disappearing afternoon sun and burying myself a bit further in the EG 0,0 hoodie. _Which, to be fair to him, is from last season._ It took about 10 minutes before two white and orange figures appeared in the distance and waved at me, me waving back, the security guy realizing who they were and starting to implode, before I was getting a Repsol branded hug and Marc was violently pulling a pit pass over my head.

“Told you.”

“Sorry Miss it’s standard proce-“

“I know, I know.” I winked at him and walked off with them, Dani linking his arm through mine and giving it a squeeze, Marc grinning at us and sighing happily, security dude slack jawed. _Jejeje._

“So what did you try? To convince him?”

“Hmm…twitter pictures. No luck. A few of our personal pictures…ok Marc when I say personal I do NOT mean that…and then I think I just yelled at him about how I lived with Dani Pedrosa. Which I guess we need to talk about…” I watched the nervous little glance they exchanged and felt another, long time hidden pure squee of fangirl suddenly erupt as I pulled them into a three person hug. “ARGH!!!”

“You don’t kn-“

“YES I DO.” I gave them another squeeze and then pulled away and grinned at Marc. “House swap?!”

He nodded back and then blushed slightly. “House swap and bridesmaid?”

_ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH._ “ARRRRRRGHHHHHHHH! SERIOUSLY?!”

“Shhhh!!!!!!”

* 

“Ok?”

“Yup. Not bad. You?”

“Yeah, good day. And, er…good night.”

“Don’t want to-“

“No, not that!” Marc whacked his brother on the arm and rolled his eyes. “Although-“

“La la la-“

“Ok, ok, ok sorry! No, I mean…” _Deep breath. And remember to call your mother._ “Dani asked me to marry him…”

_ARGGGGH!_ “ARGGGGGGHHHH!”

“I KNOW!” Marc grinned and squeezed him as hard as he could, ending up twirled around and both of them grinning at each other.

“Congratulations!!”

“Thanks.” 

“So any plans?”

“Not yet. Ring shopping on Monday in London?”

“Sounds good. Sensible.”

“Exactly. And we can take the girls and it’ll be even more sensible.”

“Good point. You’re surprisingly good at being an undercover gay.”

“Fuck off.” His brother grinned and whacked him on the arm before they both came to a stop. _Now here we are. Are you going in or-_

“Ok I just need to get some stuff from my motorhome then I’ll come down and find you, ok?”

_Do not give it away._ “Ok…” _I sound like I’ve been strangled._ He coughed and tried again. “Ok!”

“Sure?” Alex looked at him like he was about to keel over and then shrugged as he was assured, and assured, and walked over to his door. “See you in a bit…”

_Yeah sure you will._ “Yeah…”

He watched him go in and waited for the scream, which didn't come, and then smiled to himself as he realised it was probably too much to even scream about, the reality having been quiet shock, walking over as his eyes welled up and wrapping her up in a hug that, Marc imagined, probably wouldn't really end until the day after. 

*

"Hi." I felt my lip wobble at the look on his face and bit it to stop myself ruining anything, nervously stood there waiting, starting to panic as he just stood there and let his eyes well up, positive but still no movement, and then felt myself start to shake as he walked over and wrapped his arms around me, nose in my hair and breathing me in as I did the same, like a little moment of suspended reality until his lips found my ear.

"Finally."


	116. Sale El Sol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Tanto te quise besar, que me duelen los labios..." ♥ gracias y besitos ♥

_ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH._

@lorenzo99: DM @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend nice t shirt. Goes well with the username ;)

_ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH._

*

_Finally._ I wrapped my arms around him and clung on for a while, feeling the front of his hoodie start to get wet and his fingers go through my hair, little soothing noises in my ear that I wondered how the hell _he_ was making after the almost year we’d been through; no anger, no asking for answers or anything; just _finally._ “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” I heard him sniff, obviously crying like I was but much more quietly and elegantly, and then give me a squeeze to punctuate the next bit, both of us starting to laugh slightly, emotional pressure released that way, words so weird and out of place, like I’d stolen his drink or ripped a t shirt. “Just _don’t do it again._ ”

*

“I like this one. What do you think, baby?”

“Hmm…I like that.” Bea leant forward and looked at it, me smiling because I could see Dani nodding his agreement and knew she would actually hate it, and then Marc get a bit braver and turn to his teammate. 

“What do you think?”

“I like it. I’d probably choose that one if it was me…”

“Oh, really?” Smirk.

“Yeah. Plain and simple…more about who gave it to you than the ring itself…” Those big Pedrosa brown eyes that could kill a man or woman at 26 paces.

“I agree.” Genuine smile. “So…I think we’ve made a decision, right honey?”

I saw Dani start to nod almost and looked at Alex, both of us starting to giggle at the Sabadell native’s red face, obviously used to being called that in private, and then watched Bea nod and take Marc’s hand, smiling. “Perfect.” She squeezed his hand and then moved forward to deal with the size, and I smiled and wanted to grab her into a hug as she passed Marc’s hand to Dani behind her back, blocking the view of anyone but me and Alex, and their fingers wound together for a brief moment. 

“If you can do the size from this? I’ve hurt my hand.” She put her fakely-bandaged hand on the counter and shrugged like _what am I like_ , handing over the ring we’d found from someone that fit Dani perfectly, and flashing another smile as Marc reluctantly let go of his fiancé’s hand and held out his.

“I’ve not hurt my hand.”

“Oh, you’re getting one for both of you?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and nodded, going a bit pink and shrugging. “We’re doing things a bit differently…”

*

I pulled my face just far enough out of the fabric to be able to talk. “How long have we been stood here?”

“8 minutes.”

“Hmm. Come here.” I pulled myself out the hug slightly and pulled him over to the bed, lying down and ending up eye to eye, staring at each other for a few seconds before a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and his arm went around me again, fingers cold against the bare skin he searched out under my t shirt, feeling me shiver and eyes almost reflecting that in the split second before they closed as his lips hit mine, hands starting to peel off the layers in between kisses, almost like he was checking I was real. And in terms of fixing things, I would have told anyone else that leaping back into bed together was a bad idea. _Talk. You have to talk. Talking means you’re making progress._ But it didn’t, yet, because neither of us really had the words.

“Alex…”

“Hmm…?” The vibration hummed through my skin and made me close my eyes, almost gone but not quite.

“We'll talk, after the weekend, yeah? But I love you. I’m sorry. And 2.”

“Ok. And 2…?”

“When you’re 23.”

“Ok. I missed you.”

I felt myself want to cry again at the simple, accepting reply and dug in my fingernails, mouth attacked with a kiss in response, nodding and then feeling myself pulled on top of him and sat up, his head resting in the crook of my neck and humming contentedly as my fingers raked through his hair up from the nape of his neck, arms tightening around me. We ended up looking at each other again, both transfixed, to the point of me running my index finger along his bottom lip and grabbing his hair, him just sat there with that open, clear look that Marc absolutely could not manage. Serious, dead serious, with a spark of something else that started to grow as I smiled at him, my arms going round his neck and something finally snapping in both of us at the same time, his clothes joining mine on the floor in a flurry, and then me stopping and welling up, _again_ , as I saw what was left.

“Wh…have you been wearing that the whole-“

“Yeah.” He pecked me on the lips and pulled the chain over his head before undoing it and freeing the ring, eyes locking back on mine and eyebrows raising infinitesimally as his hand hovered near mine, silent question saying a lot more than anything else, and then closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as I moved my finger into it and let him push it back on.

“You don’t have to ask twice.”

*

@LiviOhSoupOh: Shopping in London. Guess who bought the most? ;) pic.twitter.com/kjasfvy

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @LiviOhSoupOh imagine if there was a D store… ;)

@marcmarquez93: @LiviOhSoupOh @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend not that you’d buy anything of course…

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @marcmarquez93 never…!! ;) :P urgh! Beautiful and Italian…ew... ;)

@marcmarquez93: @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend ajajajajaja ;) ;) ;) PLEASE NO. 

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @marcmarquez93 I can hear you laughing from 3 rows back, idiot :P (and no. I prefer something more…HJC and alpinestars? ;))

@marcmarquez93: @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend you’re banned from Repsol Honda

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @marcmarquez93 oh really? @26_DaniPedrosa? Or maybe I should try @lorenzo99? #SemakindiDepan ;) 

@26_DaniPedrosa: @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend @marcmarquez93 I thought we were #SatuHati…and I would never ban you :)

@marcmarquez93: DM @26_DaniPedrosa I thought you loved me??! ;)

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @26_DaniPedrosa thank you! :P @marcmarquez93

@marcmarquez93: @26_DaniPedrosa @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend you ruin everything :P (congratulations on your victory! :))

@26_DaniPedrosa: @marcmarquez93 thanks! See you at the Ranch! @ValeYellow46 :)

@lorenzo99: @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend @marcmarquez93 @26_DaniPedrosa I think I missed the question…

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @lorenzo99 ironically not so #SemakinDiDepan jajajaja

_Jorge Lorenzo favourited one of your tweets!_

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @lorenzo99 @marcmarquez93 banned me from Repsol Honda, so I was looking for a new paddock home…

@lorenzo99: @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend I’m surprised they ever let you in at all wearing that…

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: @lorenzo99 me too ;) the rule is no Yamaha, I bargained for 99 merch. :D

@lorenzo99: @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend jajaja good choice ;) :D come to Yamaha! 

@lorenzo99: DM @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend I think you’d look beautiful in blue…

@lorenzo99: DM @NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend Sorry, that was a bad line ;)

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: DM @lorenzo99 thanks for the follow!

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: DM @lorenzo99 and I look great in blue… And better in nothing...

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: DM @lorenzo99 “sorry that was a bad line” ;) 

*

“He’s been dropping hints.”

“Valentino Rossi. Dropping hints about gay-”

“Promise…”

“I think you’re dreaming.”

“Just because I’m not a pessimistic, grumpy, short-“

“Ok, ok! Seriously though?”

“Well…do you think he’d give a shit?”

“Probably not…”

“And do you think he’d tell anyone?”

“No.”

“Me neither.” The younger rider quickly typed something on his phone, Dani realizing too late what he was doing, and then grinned back at him. “Done.”

“You didn’t…” The older rider’s face went white. “Seriously, you didn’t.”

_Oooh shit…should I genuinely not have?_ “I did…”

“Fuck! Marc?!”

“Yeah?”

“Well…fuck?! Vale?! I mean…FUCK!”

“I’m sure it will-“ He stopped as his phone beeped and then held it up for Dani to see, trying to hide his own relief and hammering heart at what he’d waded into, too. _Ok that was fucking reckless._

Vale: _Wow! Ok?!! :) yes no problem…I guess you don’t want everyone to know? So you can stay on the top floor? Two bedrooms only, opposite, and you can use one?_

Marc: _Thanks. You don’t seem surprised? :/ are we obvious?_

Vale: _No, I’m just old (and wise ;)) see you soon!_

“Ha!”

“Pffff. Well…”

“Well?”

“Well…that was a big risk.”

“Yup, and it paid off.”

“Ok well I’ll never win the risk-reward conversation, so goodnight.” The older rider smiled and poked him under the sheets as he suddenly turned off the light. “Don’t fucking snore.”

Marc sniffed and then pulled himself in to put his head on his fiancé’s chest. “I’ll try. I’m sick…”

“You have a minor, minor cold. Otherwise you’d be in Livi’s room.”

“Oh thanks…”

“Please go to sleep.”

“Too excited.” The light went back on and Dani squinted at him in an angry little frown, defrosting and powerless against a grin as he watched Marc hold his hand up, ring on there now they were back in private, and compared his own next to it. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes. I’m very excited. But I’m also 29 and crashed in qualifying…”

“And won the race.”

“And won the race. Exactly. So let me fucking sleep.”

“Oooh…”

“Marc please…” He rested his head back on the pillow and laughed in half amused love and half genuine desperation as a nipple disappeared into his teammate’s mouth, hand automatically going into his hair and trying to relax. Finally, he found the cheek gone once they locked eyes again, kiss gentle and communicative, before Marc turned the light off again and planted a gentle kiss on the worst of the bruises, voice soft. 

“Goodnight. I love you, Dani. Thanks for putting up with me.”

_Awww._ “Night. I love you, too. But I think that’s the other way round.”

_Should I…_ “Yeah, true.” Pause. “Ow!”

*

“How much did you tell them?”

“Hardly anything. Tito knows everything.”

“So I don’t-“

“No, you don’t have to be nervous, or explain anything, or be stressed in any way at all.” He smiled at me again and brushed my hair off my face slightly, snuggling in closer so we were almost nose to nose. “Actually you do have to explain something. Why aren’t you grumpy? It’s the morning.”

_I missed your smirk._ “Pff! Sometimes I’m not grumpy…”

_I missed your pout._ “But usually…”

_I miss you._ “Well…”

_I missed you._ “Well?” He waited and grinned as I pouted and shrugged slightly under the sheets.

“I think if I was grumpy now, I wouldn’t have come back. Best morning of my life.”

_Aww._ “I know.” He leaned through the tiny space between us and curled himself around me after a little kiss, contented sigh. “Me too. And...I lied about what time I had to leave so we have an extra half hour…”

“Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“Well done.” I grinned and pounced on him like I hadn't really dared the day before, smile now present in every layer, and starting to giggle uncontrollably as he took revenge in tickling. "Noooo this is unfair-"

"You bit me!"

"Yeah I did! It was supposed to be sexy!"

"Oh was it? I'm sorry I didn't realise."

"FUCK YOU."

More giggles, then a groan as felt my eyes roll back and dramatically let both arms flop back onto the bed. _Skills._

"Ok, take me!"


	117. Epilogue 1: Gate Drop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Near the end, now. I think we'll hit 120, or maybe just short. ♥ thank you ♥

“Marc Marquez. Alex Marquez! Livi! Olivia Marquez. Where?”

The receptionist looked at him like he was yelling Mandarin at her and then swiveled her eyes to look at Dani as he made it to the desk, slightly later, much calmer, and leaning on it with a smile as he took in the scene. “Hello. I think he means we got a call to say Alex and Olivia Marquez were here, having a baby. Could you point us in the right direction, please?”

“Oh, ok. Let me check.” She did, and then pointed down the hall to the right. “If you go down there and turn right, there’s another desk and they’ll be able to point you to the right place.”

“Thank you.” The older rider turned to Marc and smiled, grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers together to make sure he didn’t just sprint off, and then the dragging at high speed began.

“That’s what I said to her.”

“I didn’t hear it but given how little sense you’ve been making since you started screaming and jumping around, I doubt that very much.”

“I’m just excited! And terrified.” He squeezed Dani’s hand and screeched them round the corner and towards the next desk, grinning like a fool. “Sorry if I’m-“

“Don’t apologise.” Dani squeezed back and repeated the trick with the sensible attempt at getting info, before they found themselves on the final stretch, stopping to look at each other and take a deep breath. “This is crazy.”

“This is crazy. And hopefully welcome, after everything-“

“I know. And yeah, I think so.” The older rider pulled him in and wrapped him in a hug, both leaning on each other for a second before the door swung open and Alex appeared.

“HI!!!”

“HI!!!”

_Oh God, now there’s two of them._ Dani watched it, like the world was on normal speed and those two figures were on fast forward, as he went through where they were and what was going on, and ended up draping himself round Marc from behind, Alex grinning at it and Marc almost not even noticing, hands finding his and squeezing subconsciously, both listening to everything and trying to take it in. _And now, in another terrible twist of fate, one of them reproduced._ He waited for a break in the conversation and then stood up straighter again, raising his eyebrows. “Want anything? Coffee, whiskey, maybe something under-the-counter?”

Alex grinned and nodded. “Please. Coffee. Right now I’m crazy because I’m too tired and excited so maybe that would help.”

“Optimistic.”

“Always!”

“Right. We’ll go and get that, then.” He waited for Marc to move and he didn’t, so he poked him. “Hey. We’re going to get coffee, babe. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Marc. What happened?”

“They’re having babies. They got married and now they’re having babies. And they’re going to get cards and flowers and-”

“Yup.” _Ah, I see._ “Come here.” He nodded at Alex as he disappeared back through the door and stood in front of his husband, eyes locked together. “We can do that now, you know?”

“Hmm.”

“No, honestly. Not yet. I think you’ll agree not yet when you see them and hear them and smell them and realize the work, but we can. Because we did it.”

“We did it.”

“Marc.”

“Hmm?”

“I know everything’s been crazy after we went public but you don’t-“

“Don’t you dare ask me if I regret it.” His eyes suddenly focused again and he took his hands back before winding them around Dani’s waist. “It’s just crazy. And I just feel like we’d get 20 hand grenades and some anthrax in the post instead of anything nice-“

“Don’t be stupid.” He pressed his lips to his forehead. “There’s negativity. Of course there is, we expected that. And all the people who matter, in the paddock and in the world, are there just as they were before. When we go home and close the doors, we’re the same as before. Or better. And it will fade, and people will get used to it. It’s not going to affect our kids. I promise. The only thing that’s going to affect our kids is _us_.”

The younger rider took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a second, and then nodded. “I know you’re right. I just…need you to remind me.”

“Maybe I need to remind you a bit, too. That’s ok.” He laced their fingers together and nodded down the corridor. “Shall we get that coffee? I think your brother needs it.”

“Yes.”

*

“I don’t think they’re going to be racers, anyway. This is ridiculous.”

“Babies take a while, you know. They’re not very punctual.”

“There’s ‘not very punctual’ and then there’s ‘rude’.”

“Don’t make me laugh.” _Too late._ “We’re supposed to be the understanding support team.”

“We are.” Marc moved his head further onto his shoulder and shuffled a bit further down in his chair. “You’re on first shift. Love you. Night night.”

“Night.” He kissed the top of his head and smiled as Marc turned his head to kiss his shoulder. _And we’re in public. And maybe getting into this little bit of peace felt like a war, and it will do for a while every time we go outside. But then, we’ll just be free. When we’re both retired, and the house in Geneva is a bit fuller, and everything will be worth it. Because I have you._ “I love you.” He smiled as an almighty snore echoed into the hall and bit his lip not to giggle. _Which, although in moments like this it’s hard to believe, is absolutely everything._ He sat back and stared at the ceiling for a while, thinking about everything, before smiling and pressing a finger to his lips.

“Hi.”

“Hi. We came as quickly as we could.”

“No news yet, I’m on first shift.”

“Sounds good.” 

They say down opposite before Julia got back to his feet and smiled at Dani and Roser, then frowned slightly at Marc as another snore was let free. _Oh, son._ “Drink?”

“Thanks.”

“Thanks.”

*

The door opened at 3.19am on the 18th of November, everyone sat outside suddenly awake and buzzing again, shooting to their feet and wrapping a very tired looking but beaming Alex in a 5 person hug, before Marc stole him and they had a little moment, and then he took a deep breath and grinned.

“Livi and the babies are fine. You can all come in in a few minutes if you want?”

“YES.”

“Ok…” Another grin. “It’s a girl and a boy.”

Another round of hugging and grinning and _what are their names?!_.

“I’ll let Livi tell you that.”

*

_I hope the myth about the fact that I’m meant to look radiant right now is true._ Judging by the look on Alex’s face, I at least probably didn’t look like a sea monster. 

“I love you. All. Sorry I keep saying it. And crying.”

“It’s offending us a lot.” I grinned and accepted a kiss before we both gazed down at the little bundles in awe again. _Fucking two. Of all the ironies in the world, we have them questionably early and you send us TWO._ “And making us feel like the most important people in the world.”

_You are._ He pressed a kiss to my hair again and then nodded at the nurse as she asked if we were ready for visitors. And I braced myself heavily. And Marc was, as expected, the first through the door, like a gate drop Ryan Villopoto would have been proud of, all grinning and crazy, until he reached the bed and looked down, and all but disappeared into a puddle onto the floor; Dani luckily behind him to play catch (again).

“Hey.”

“Hi.” I smiled at everyone and took all the kisses on the cheek before letting everyone coo for a minute, so happily calm now, after me and Alex had already had about 20 minutes alone and overwhelmed and weeping, before Marc managed some words.

“Wow.” Breath. “Wow. Can I hold one?”

“You can. But first I’ll tell you the names so you don’t drop him.”

“I would never-“

“I’m not willing to test that.” I grinned at him and felt Alex grab my hand as I took a deep breath. “Ok, so this little guy is Daniel Marc. And this little princess is Rosalía Juliana Beatriz.”

I’d never see Marc cry happily before, not like that anyway. It was like a flood. It was loud, and it was messy, and it was something he swore we could never tell anyone. And he definitely would have dropped him, or the poor guy would have thought life was very bumpy. “Wh..are…are you serious?!”

“Yeah. Don’t cry, babychamp.” I smiled at him and relaxed into a half hug, Dani’s face over his shoulder something I’d never forget, before the older rider closed his eyes for a second and bit his lip, and then stared straight back at me, voice shaky and overwhelmed smile.

I let Roser and Julia take the twins off us before watching Marc and Alex side step in equal time and Dani come towards me, head buried in my neck, sobbing like a fool, and held onto him for a while before I pressed my lips against his ear. “We want them to grow up with the best examples in the world so...didn’t have much choice about the names really...”

“I love you.”

“I know. I love you too. You’re going to be godfathers, yeah?”

“Are you seri-“

“Yes, we’re serious. You two, and Bea. If you promise to make her dress them in Repsol Honda-“

“I promise.”


	118. Epilogue 2: Gate Crash

_Back soon…Livi is having the babies. B xxxx_

He rolled over, read it, and then growled. _Great. Could have woken me up and told me that, we could have driven to the airport instead of however much you’ve blown on a taxi, and we could have been in first class._ He yawned, sat up, and then got up, then opened the wardrobe, decided against sparkly trainers since that would definitely make her mad, and got dressed into a reasonable imitation of acceptable before padding downstairs and floundering around for coffee and car keys and his phone. _I will still be in first class._

Bea: _Sorry you’re probably not awake yet but I just got here and they’re born and awwww! Give me a call sometime x_

_Give me a call sometime. What did I do?_ He typed out a reply and then made it into the car and out into the still very dark and cold morning, ruing the forgetting of a scarf, and then went straight back to sleep on the plane.

_Gay Repsol Honda in a social context. This will be interesting._

*

“Hi. I’m looking for Olivia Marquez. She had twins…no I’m not a family member…yes, that’s me. Ok, thanks.” 

He waited for the response from whoever she was calling re: not a family member but maybe a special case, and then smiled as she smiled at him and nodded him through, walking down the corridor and turning the corner and stopping.

“Hi…”

_Awkward._ “Hi. I, er…didn’t want to gate crash the hospital time but I thought Bea would probably be here?”

“She is. And you’re not gate crashing, but everyone else is asleep. Coffee?”

“Sounds good.”

_You’re freaked out._ “It’s a date…”

Jorge smiled at him and then started to laugh. “I’m not finding it awkward because you’re gay; I’m finding it awkward because my girlfriend disappeared in the middle of the night to another country for something very important with you, and she didn’t wake me up.”

“Ah. Ok. Yeah, she does that.”

“Hmm. I realised.”

“But then you might get to a point where she doesn’t do that anymore, and judging by the fact that you got up and chased her, you’ll probably think it was worth the wait.”

_It makes me very uncomfortable that you know that._ “Ok…” He followed him down to some sort of café, unsure what he’d seen on his face in response, and then they sat in awkward silence for a few seconds before Marc spoke again.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to rub it in your face that I knew that.”

“I, er…didn’t know you knew that.”

_Oh, shit._ “Ah. Is it a problem?”

“I don’t know. Is it a problem for you?”

“Well I had a secret gay wedding so…not so much.” He smiled and shook his head. “If you mean…you? Or…is there anything left from it between us? Then no. Bea is probably my best friend nowadays. Other than Dani and Alex. That’s it.”

“But she was more…”

“She was more. When I was confused she was a lot more. We even almost had a baby.” _Oh fuck I really shouldn’t have said that._ He looked at Jorge’s face and nodded, cringing. “She didn’t tell you any of that.”

“No, she didn’t.”

_Shit._ “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said-“

“No, I’m glad you did.” The Mallorcan got to his feet and rubbed his hands over his face. “I’ll be back in a minute, I’m just going-“

“No, you’re not.” The Repsol Honda rider got to his feet to mirror him and grinned at the look on his face. “If you’re in love with Bea, I know exactly where you’re going right now and I think it’s a bad, good idea.” He started to walk off and smiled to himself as Jorge followed him, out into a little courtyard and then stopping as Marc lit a cigarette and offered him the packet, jaw dropped open. “What, not pregnant are you?”

“N-no…” He took one and lit it, still dazed by the whole situation since he’d woken up however long ago in a different country, and then sighed. “I was tempted to leave. Smoke and leave.”

_Was._ “I know.”

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

“Maybe because she thought you’d leave.”

“That wouldn’t have made a difference.”

“But you wanted her to be honest?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You didn’t say anything. When I said ‘if you’re in love with…’ You didn’t say anything. Are you being honest with her?”

“I got on a plane.”

“And…”

“And…no. Not yet. I didn’t want to…” He trailed off as the opposite door opened and Bea appeared, stopping when she saw them, mouth dropped open, staring at Jorge and their eyes locked together, before Marc nudged the Mallorcan and smiled, _be honest._ , and walked over to her, voice low and mostly out of ear shot.

“Hey.”

“Hey…”

“Look at me. I’ll leave you alone in a second with loverboy…”

She did, and glared at him. “Don’t-“

“Me don’t? Pff. I just told him some stuff I thought he already knew because I’m tired and stupid and I’m sorry.”

“Stuff.”

“Everything.”

“Marc!”

“I know. Don’t be mad?” He tried puppy dog eyes and then bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Sorry. But nothing’s ruined. I promise.”

“You expect me to believe-“

“Yup.” She pulled her into an hug and gave her a squeeze before pecking her on the cheek and pushing her in the direction of an un-readable Yamaha rider. “See you in a bit.”

*

“Hi…”

_Worth the wait. I guess we’ll see._ “H-hi.” _Voice, come on._ “Hi. So…funny story. I went to bed last night with a very beautiful woman and when I woke up she’d run off to another country.”

“Hm.” _He’s still here._ “She didn’t want to wake you up.”

“I realised. Why not?”

“Because…I didn’t know if you’d want to come and hang around with everyone here-“

“We’re not best friends but I would have liked the option. To come and be with you.”

_Seriously?_ “Seriously, though…and with Marc here…”

“Who is a big rival but we talk and laugh and everything’s fine…”

“And who I almost had a baby with and who is still my best friend. Or one of them.”

“You think I’d be threatened?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Maybe a bit…” He smiled slightly and then shrugged. “Maybe I wouldn’t be if you’d told me all this yourself.”

“And expect you to not run off? I doubt-“

“Why would I run off?”

“Well it’s…I don’t know. Complicated.”

“Everyone has history.”

“Yeah, and mine is with your biggest-“

“Yeah…?”

“Well…yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Look, I don’t know what we’re doing here and I don’t want to ruin anything with all this stuff so I didn’t want to tell you-“

“You’re not going to ruin anything if you’re honest. And you’re the one who doesn’t know what we’re doing here?!”

“Yeah?!”

“Ok, so we meet. We like each other. We sleep together sometimes. Then you move to New York for a year, and not only do you not call me, or stay in touch, you actually unfollow me on twitter and ignore me. Then you come back, for some reason we end up in that same restaurant, and you finally at least talk to me again. Then I spend months and months trying to keep that going, just a little bit, and you even come to a race and actually speak to _me_ in the paddock. We go and have a meal. We sleep together sometimes. I ask you to come and stay in Switzerland, you say no. I ask if I can meet up with you in Lleida, you say no. I give up, almost, until you _drunk_ call me. And then finally we get a little bit of honesty, and we make some progress, and we’re starting to use ‘girlfriend’ and ‘boyfriend’ and you sleep over without tearing me apart and running off. I’m about to tell you some important stuff and have a conversation about where we’re going and what we’re doing, and you get up in the middle of the night and fuck off. At what point was I confusing _you_.”

_Seriously._ “Well…”

“Well?”

“Well…” _Well, I love you and I can’t do that again if it’s not true in reverse?_ “Important stuff?”

“What?”

“Important stuff. You were going to tell me important stuff.”

“Yeah. And I will if you explain why you won’t let me in.”

“Hmm…because it’s scary?”

“Scary.”

“B-because of, er…how I feel. About you. And us. And I’ve been here before-“

“Not with me.”

“No.”

“How do you feel?”

“No. I want to know your important stuff.”

“Right. Fine.” 

They were now stood a lot closer together, both arms folded and angrily stubborn, all insolent shrugs and closed posture. “Well, I care about you a lot and I got on a plane to say that, so…”

“Right, well. I love you, so…fine.”

“Fine. I love you too.”

"Well, great."

They stared at each other for a few seconds before both started to smile, a tiny bit, somehow still frowning and then grinning more and more as they infected each other with the realisation, eventually managing to end up in a hug and then a kiss that pressed them both up against the glass door and almost through it.

*

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: The joke's kind of old now in the username #gaywithPedrosa

@NotMarcMarquezsGirlfriend: So I'll change it now to something more honest. #drumroll

@JorgeLorenzosFiance: That's me, anyway. #ILookBetterInBlue Have a good day everyone ♥ @lorenzo99 pic.twitter.com/pwefb 

@lorenzo99: :D >>> RT @JorgeLorenzosFiance: That's me, anyway. #ILookBetterInBlue Have a good day everyone ♥ @lorenzo99 pic.twitter.com/pwefb


	119. Epilogue 3: En cada beso y con cada cicatriz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sigo siendo aprendiz, en cada beso y con cada cicatriz" comes from the spanish lyrics to Gypsy by Shakira (sorry, it's... _Inevitable.._ *groan* ;)). Means 'I'm still an apprentice, in every kiss and with every scar' ... ♥
> 
> One more chapter. :)

“I like this. I miss them like hell, but I like this.” I looked over at him and smiled. “Is that allowed?”

“I think it’s allowed.” He grinned across the pillow and then hauled me in. “A week. A whole week. Do you think my mum and dad would have been this nice if we’d not called them-“

“Yes.”

“Hmm. Me too.”

We lay there in silence for a while, listening to the sea outside, before automatically finding a kiss, hands starting to go further, before we both paused and opened our eyes again, me nodding at the silent question. “Yeah. Sleep tonight, sex the rest of the week.”

“Ok. Sounds like a plan.” He reached up and flipped the light off before running his hand down my back and pulling me in, a few seconds of silence before he spoke again, whisper. “Livi?”

“Hmm?”

“You didn’t come in the pool.”

“No…”

“Why?”

“Just…didn’t want to, today.”

“Hmm.” _In this heat?_ “Ok.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

“Night, baby. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” A sloppy kiss just about found me in the dark before we settled down again. “Night.”

*

“URGH. What time is it?”

“Hmm…almost 1pm.”

“WHAT?!” I sat up and flailed for a few seconds before focusing on him, sat on the edge of the bed and pointing at a room service tray. _Oh. Right. Holiday. No school. Ok._

“Yeah…didn’t want to wake you up so I ordered breakfast.”

_Awwww._ “WHY ARE YOU STILL PERFECT?!” I grinned at him and grabbed him into a kiss before feeling his hands start to wander and shaking my head. “No. Hungry.”

“Ah, ok. I did wonder…”

“Wonder?”

“Well, you’re grumpy, but it’s not actually the morning.”

“FUCK OFF.” I giggled and threw my arms in the air, suddenly realizing the extent of the freedom. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! And nobody’s child’s first word is going to be ‘fuck!’” I smiled as he did and then sighed contentedly as he even brought the food straight to me. “Waiter service too?!”

“Yup. Waiter service too.”

“Do I tell you I love you enough?”

“Nope, too much.” He smiled and held up some toast before rolling his eyes as I grabbed it and waving his hand at the tray. “Ok, I know. Go for it.”

In my defense, we did both sit back up against the headboard and eat, and I did just about manage to have snippets of a conversation at the same time, before he went to the bathroom, and I got dressed and pushed the trolley back out the room into the hall.

“Woah you’re actually up! Don’t want to stay in bed a bit longer…?”

“Normally I would say yes but it’s already the afternoon and it feels like a crime.”

“Yeah I know.” Pout. “Pool?”

“Yes. Pool.” I nodded and pulled out a bag before realizing we didn’t need a bag because there was no army of two luggage hungry twins in our wake. “Ah. Ok. Room key?”

“Yup.”

“Sunscreen?”

“Yup.”

I shrugged and caught the towel he threw out the air. “Right then. ¡Vamos!”

*

“After dinner, I want to talk to you.”

I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head slightly. “Hmm. Ok?”

“Nothing bad.”

“Right…”

“Promise!”

“Right…” I made it through another few mouthfuls of ice cream being fed to me and then stopped and tried to talk again. “Ok you cnt jss..” _Swallow._ “Ok, you can’t just say that and expect me to wait. Come on, what is it?”

“Yeah, I can. I just want to ask you something. And it’s not cruel to say that because you already married me so you know it’s not _that_.”

“Hmm…”

“Olivia. Eat your ice cream.” He lifted the spoon again and then raised an eyebrow as I leaned forward and put my mouth round it, eyes on his, very different to the practical eating of before. “Or not…”

“I prefer to share.” I smiled and took another spoonful before pulling him across the little table by the collar and pressing our lips together. _But only with you._ “Bill and leave?”

“Bill and leave.”

We made it back to the room with most of our clothes still on before crashing through the floor and onto the bed, everything somehow suddenly rewound to pre-babies, pre-marriage, pre-sabbatical from being together as we clawed at each other and almost rolled around, before I clicked the light off. And he stopped.

“What are you doing?”

“Turning the light off…”

“Why?”

“Because…because?”

“Right. And why haven’t you been in the pool?”

“Because…didn’t want to.”

“Right. And why did you get out of bed this morning and get dressed as soon as I’d gone?” 

“Did I?”

“Don’t fuck around.” The light went back on again and we got the full eye contact back, him staring down at me. “Why?”

“Because…I don’t know. You know…”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Well…maybe I just…like the light off now.”

“And hate pools. Which are your favourite holiday thing. And got up and got dressed without complaining.”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not?!”

“So if I say I want the light on, that’s ok?”

“Hmm…”

“Ok, I think I know what’s going on.” He lay down next to me and sighed before lacing our fingers together. “And if you say I’m right, I’m going to be fucking angry at you.”

“That is a great incentive to tell you.”

“Don’t. You know what I mean.”

“Well there’s nothing-“

“Yes, there is. You keep avoiding me seeing you naked. Or slightly naked. Right?”

I bit my lip and shrugged slightly, perennially incapable of actually lying to him but always worth a punt in these situations. “No…”

“Right, ok. So this is ok…?” He propped himself on his elbow and started to pull the hem of my t shirt up. “Hmm?”

“Yeah…” I let him keep going and laced my fingers across my stomach. “Fine.”

“Move your hands.”

“No.”

“Right, I’m done.” He pinned my wrists to the bed and straddled me, t shirt still up and making me very aware of that. “You weren’t like this before.”

“Hmm well…no. Exactly.”

“What does that mean?”

“I mean, I’m fit again. I weigh the same but I-“

“Knew it. Right.” He shook his head and sighed. “I’m going to let go of your hands now, but you’re not going to move. Ok?”

“Hmm…”

“Livi…”

“Ok. Fine.”

“Good.” He did, nervously, more like someone asking _put the gun down_ , and then lowered his lips to mine and finished pulling my t shirt off, lips going down my neck and kissing a line down my chest until he obviously felt me tense and sat back up for eye contact. “Livi...”

“I had twins, and then surgery. So please stop making me th-“

“No. Don’t even try it.” He carried on where he’d left off and locked his eyes on mine as his tongue traced along the scar, waiting to feel me relax more and doing it again when, if anything, I got more tense, and then closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as I bit my lip and closed mine. 

“Please don’t.”

“You know what my favourite part of you is?

“Don’t even-“

“No, not this.” He ran his tongue along the scar again and then drew a line of kisses in reverse. “Your eyes. And I can’t see them in the dark.”

“But I feel-“

“Better when I can’t see this.” And again. “My second favourite part of you.”

“Be realistic.”

“Livi, I’ve got scars all over me, now. Ankle, collarbone, skin grafts…everywhere. Do you hate them?”

“That’s different.”

“Yeah, it is. Because I chose to ride a bike. This…” Another line of kisses. “Is beautiful. Because it represents everything we’ve beaten. So stop hiding it.”

“It’s not that simple-

“Yes it is.” Another one, before his mouth moved lower and traced the waistband of my jeans, and then kissed along it again. “If you ever say that again, you will be severely punished.”

“Alex…”

“Not listening.” He smiled back up at me, aware he was winning from the emotional face looking back at him, and then undid the top button and the zip, wriggling me free of my jeans, letting me pull off his t shirt, and then stopping again to trace his tongue over my stomach, feeling I was less tense. “Better.”

“Hmm…” I got attacked with another kiss again until we were both naked, light still on, still cringing internally somehow but getting slightly better and better as he wouldn’t let it go, mouth moving lower and tongue teasing before moving back up and kissing the scar, fingers lacing through mine and waiting until my breath started to catch before surfacing for a kiss as he pushed inside, pressing his forehead against mine and closing his eyes.

“I win. You're even more beautiful now than before. No arguments.”

*

"Pool?"

"Yes."

"Coming in?"

"Yes."

"Good."

I nodded and took a deep breath before getting out the bed and walking over to the bathroom, eyes following my every move and more than aware of that, and then smiled as footsteps echoed mine and the shower was turned on behind me. 

"So I win?" 

He wrapped his arms round my waist and traced over the scar, again.

"Yeah, I guess so...seems a shame to break a habit..." I laced our fingers together and locked eyes with him in the mirror, more than obvious it was still difficult, but more than appreciated. _I love you._ "No arguments."


	120. Epilogue 4: Baby Champs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have _Tot en Rus_ to blame for a lot, don't we? ;) 
> 
> Thank you Lyra for the "Juan" name idea!! ♥
> 
> The original idea was 12 chapters, fangirl squeeing, and then happy ever after. Then it was a bit bigger, then I needed my Dani/Marc fix, then, then, then...and here we are. My longest fic. Which I seem to say every time ;) :/
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Your responses mean a lot ♥ And I will miss it so, so much *sobs* but I think the time is right...
> 
> Again, just thank you ♥ so, so much!
> 
> "Bye bye baby!"

“I am genuinely nervous about this. Actually.” I looked across to the passenger side and raised my eyebrows. “Aren’t you?”

“As long as you don’t tell them I said it, yeah.” He grinned and looked over his shoulder to the back seat. “How are you guys feeling about going to stay with Uncle Marc and Auntie Dani?”

I tried to stop the giggle and failed, mostly. “Alex you shouldn’t repeat that joke, you’ll confuse them.”

“I know.” He smiled guiltily at me and then repeated it, correctly. “Guys, are you excited about staying with Uncle Marc and Uncle Dani?”

I felt my heart melt and watched his practically throw itself out his chest and under the car at the tiny, high pitched response. _¡Siiiiiiiii!_

 _Me too, under the terror._ “I love you.” I looked over at him and squeezed his hand for a second before we both grinned and repeated the heart explosion as the back seat replied.

_“Love you too, Mami!”_

I looked in the rearview mirror and grinned back at them. “What about daddy, do you love daddy?”

_"¡Siiiii!"_

“Yup. Me too.”

*

“I’m only going to ask you one more time-“

“Yes.”

“Properly though, as in, you have locked the box.”

“I have put _everything_ that has ever been covered in bodily fluids in the box and _it is locked._ ”

“Ok.” Dani blushed and grinned slightly at that before pinching Marc’s ass on the way past. “I think I hid everything else dangerous.”

“Good. Calm down.”

“Trying. What if we kill them?!”

“Then we’d probably better call the adoption agency and-“

“I know. I’m being stupid. It’s just _someone else’s kid_. You know?”

“I do know. Like…if I feed it sugar and it goes crazy, it’s my fault. My kid, my fault, ok. But what if we give them back fat?! Or starved? Or BORED?!”

“Well I don’t think we’ll give them back fat.”

“It’s a whole week. Kids are small.”

“Yeah so we feed them a bit less than YOU?”

“And if they ask for more?”

“Give them more?”

“And if they’re sick?”

“Don’t give the more the next day.”

“So by day 8 we might get it right.”

“Pretty much. I’m sure Alex has written a novel for you on how to look after them.”

“Hmm.” Another deep breath. “I’m excited though. Test drive.”

“Test drive. Although if we hate it it’s a bit late for th-“

“SHHH. We won’t hate it. Will we?”

“Well I won’t hate it.”

“Neither will I.”

“Then I guess-“

He stopped as the doorbell went and they looked at each other, grinning, before bounding over and yanking it open. _Here we go…_

“Hello!”

_“Hi Uncle Marc!”_

“Hey there real babychamps! How’s it going?” He grinned and crouched down to grab them both and spin them round, laughing at the little _not so bad!_ ; tiny voice, adult attitude. “Well I’m glad to hear it! Want to see your room?” He paused the twirl in front of Dani to let him kiss them both and then nodded at the _¡Siiii!_ and hauled them upstairs giggling, leaving Dani grinning and welcoming the adults. _We probably aren’t going to kill them. Much._

*

@JorgeLorenzosWife: Here he is!! Juan Marc Olivier Lorenzo Guerrero!! #Juanito @marcmarquez93 @LiviOhSoupOh!! #notkeepingmyname ;) :D pic.twitter.com/onfkn9yvd

@lorenzo99: I chose the first one ;) ♥ RT @JorgeLorenzosWife: Here he is!! Juan Marc Olivier Lorenzo!! #Juanito @marcmarquez93 @LiviOhSoupOh!! #notkeepingmyname ;) :D pic.twitter.com/onfkn9yvd

@marcmarquez93: @lorenzo99 jajajajajajajajajajajaja I hope so!!!!! ;) enhorabuena!!

*

“Are you excited about going to see your cousins?”

_“¡Siiiii!”_

“Good.” I looked across to the passenger side and raised my eyebrows. “I can’t imagine your mum and dad, Bea, Dani, Marc and Jorge sat there with kids right now, waiting.”

“I know. So weird.” He grinned and chewed on another mini marshmallow before a cacophony of _daddy daddy please can we have some_ echoed forwards and I laughed as he turned round and started throwing them, and then stopped and grinned. “Woah!!”

“What?”

“Rosa caught one.”

“Woah! Well done honey!” I smiled at her in the rear view mirror and mirrored the chomping noise as she devoured it. _Gremlins before midnight._ “That’s good reflexes.”

_“Daddy can I catch one?”_

“Well I don’t know, can you?” He turned again and threw a few more before then same _woah!_ moment. “You can! High five, little man!” I watched him lean back and manage that before he turned back round and lowered his voice. “I don’t think I’d stand a fucking chance catching one of those.”

“Me neither.” 

We glanced at each other in a kind of blissful _WHAT HAVE WE CREATED_ before another round of yelling started as we pulled up outside the house and we shared another look. “They actually recognise it.”

“Yup.” Another look. "I know."

“Right, gremlins! Stay there, we’re coming for you!” We peeled out in sync and dived into the back seat, both tickling, screaming definitely announcing our arrival for everyone inside, and sure enough the door slammed open to reveal Julia shitting himself in the doorway. Relaxing once he realised? Possibly.

He grinned and opened the door wider for us to come through, kiss on the cheek for me and grin for Alex, pinching a cheek on each twin, and then closed the door and walked back in as we put the terrors down and watched them instinctively run off to find Roser in the kitchen. _I guess this is like a weird time warp for you._

I caught his eye and got that feeling, feeling Alex grab my hand and squeeze, then started to laugh as I took in the sight in the room. Jorge Lorenzo and Dani Pedrosa, the great enemies not even united by the King of Spain, now slouched side by side on a sofa with a smallish baby plonked on each of them, both staring down in wonder at their tiny little people. And Bea and Marc, on the other sofa, where all of it had really begun on Ninja night, violently bumping each other out the way in a bid to score; a controller each, clean language the only real difference.

_And these people ride prototype motorbikes at 320kph._

"Sorry sorry we'll greet you in a minute!"

*

@marcmarquez93: Welcome to the family…our little baby girl Alexa Olivia!! Thank you so much for the tweets, they mean a lot to us xxx And thank you @26_DaniPedrosa "for everything, every day" ♥


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